The Upshot
The Upshot pulls back the curtain on your favourite sports and dives into all the stuff BBC and Sky wouldn’t touch with a bargepole: drunken antics, dressing room squabbles and the simmering sexual tension of the French football team.
Episodes
Messi kiss n’ tell, Ronaldo vs Simon Jordan, and Lee Andrews fakes his own death
On the show today:
Messi’s kiss and tell
Ronaldo comes for Simon Jordan
Lee Andrews fakes his own death
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JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834
Links from the show:
Man City puns - https:/
Ronaldo’s tantrum, Messi’s miserable farewell, and Dennis Rodman banned from North Korea
On the show today:
- Cristiano Ronaldo’s tantrum in Copenhagen
- Messi’s miserable farewell tour
- And Dennis Rodman banned from North Korea
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JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834
Links from the show:
Ronaldo banners - https://
Man City’s unlikely nemesis, Mauro Icardi’s 73-year driving ban and Vinnie Jones’ Siberian hunting trip
On the show today:
- Mauro Icardi’s 73-year driving ban
- Vinnie Jones’ Siberian hunting trip
- And the sniper-dodging renegade who brought down Man City
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JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834
Links from the show:
Maresca feet - htt
Mourinho’s meltdown, Diego Costa bullying kids and JJ Gabriel’s mental dad
On the show today:
- Mourinho’s having a meltdown
- Liam Rosenior gets his revenge
- And English football has a new bastard genius
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Why are coke dealers roping in Premier League footballers?
On the show today:
- Wayne Rooney’s hotel room sesh
- The West Ham star accused of kidnapping a film director
- And why are coke dealers roping in Premier League footballers?
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What’s on Yaya Toure’s camera roll?
On the show today:
- Jim Ratcliffe threatens to burn his enemy’s house down
- Bernie Ecclestone caught smuggling guns again.
- What’s on Yaya Toure’s camera roll?
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JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834
Links from the sh
Jim Ratcliffe declares war on children
On the show today:
- Jim Ratcliffe declares war on children
- Brighton’s bus driver snorting gear on the job
- Pakistan’s genital warts scandal
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Links from the show:
The Undertaker - http
The first sex scandal of the Premier League season
On the show today:
- Premier League gets its first sex scandal of the season
- Keys and Gray are back
- Egypt manager hospitalised by a fight between his two wives
JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834
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If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?u
WWF’s Attitude era: daddy’s coming home (part two)
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Links from the pod:
Rikishi stinkf
WWF’s Attitude era: sex, drugs and Vince McMahon (part one)
Get part two RIGHT NOW when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowersIn the mid ‘90s, WWF was in chaos.Reeling from drug scandals and trailing rivals in the ratings.It was time to get NASTY.Vince McMahon cranked up the sex and violence, and brought in unhinged storylines about necrophilia and shagging his own daughter.And away from the ring, the drug-addled stars lost their minds.Fro
Today I feel… horny: Infantino’s secret mistress
On the show today: Gianni Infantino’s sex scandal, the crime boss busted on the padel court and why is Ange Postocoglou cruising round in his boxers?
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If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?ut...
JPs Gossip
Is this the end for Gianni Infantino?
On the show today:
- Gianni Infantino clings on for dear life
- Danny Cipriani’s “tacky and distasteful” wedding
- And which France international pooed in someone’s mouth at a party?
If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorsh
Gianni Infantino’s new power grab
On the show today:
- Gianni Infantino’s next power grab
- World Cup star’s cocaine arrest
- Idi Amin returns to haunt England
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If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorshi
Argentina schadenfreude special
On the show today:
- Riots on the streets of Buenos Aires.
- Phil Neville shirt swap humiliation.
- World Cup final ref’s sex party scandal
JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834
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Gianni Infantino: today I feel gay (part two)
Welcome back….
Gianni Infantino has fallen out with his best friend, noshed off a load of Qatari sheikhs and let the world know what a massive bell end he is.
But the scandals are only just getting started.
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Argentina turns on Gary Neville: a semi final special
On the show today:
- Naked England fans cartwheeling in Benidorm
- Gary Neville’s slapped down in Argentina
- Lee Andrews back in the slammer
If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship
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Gianni Infantino: the most hated man in football (part one)
In a parallel universe, Gianni Infantino is a faceless functionary in a drab Glattbrugg lawyers’ office.
But somehow this charmless blazer has wooed Donald Trump, partied with the Kardashians and wormed his way into the Middle East peace process.
He did kick ups with Putin, cosied up to Salt Bae and carved his own name on the trophy. Twice.
From FBI raids to $25,000 tickets, this is the story o
Thomas Tuchel’s MILF summer
On the show today:
- Thomas Tuchel’s MILF summer.
- The Norwegian stars who had an orgy on the pitch.
- We hear from England fans caught in car tipping chaos in Mexico
If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship
JPs Gossip Ho
The secrets & scandals of France's 2010 World Cup squad
France’s 2010 World Cup squad was absolutely full of wrong’uns.
From illegal organ harvesting to sex tape blackmail, meet the mutinous French mob who had a meltdown in South Africa.
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David Beckham’s awkward reunion
On the show today:
- Hysteria and backstabbing as big dogs crash out the World Cup
- David Beckham’s awkward reunion
- Ben Stokes’ big moment is overshadowed by a pundit’s shagging
JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834
If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_c
The secrets & scandals of England's 2006 World Cup squad
The England squad that flew to Germany 20 years ago was packed with absolute wrong'uns.
From shagging grannies to battering DJs, meet England's last golden generation…
If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship
Subscribe to our Pat
World Cup 2026 gets its first sex scandal
On the show today:
- England fans robbing post offices
- The real reason Roberto Martinez stuck with Ronaldo
- Aaaand World Cup’s get its first sex scandal - more on that later
JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834
Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers
If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.
The secrets & scandals of Brazil's 2002 World Cup winners
Brazil’s Class of 2002 was filled with scintillating shaggers and absolute wrong'uns.
From fake lottery scams to 15-year-old fiancees, meet the World Cup's wildest winners…
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World Cup ‘26: Wife stealing strikers & Ecuador’s strip club sesh in NYC
On the show today:
- Scotland’s wife-stealing striker
- Ecuador’s New York strip club adventures
- Has Anthony Joshua been CLONED
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If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsors
Thomas Tuchel’s World Cup dogging hotspot
On the show today:
- Has Thomas Tuchel been dogging in Kansas City?
- The sordid secret behind Ben Stokes’ nightclub scrap
- Lawrence Dallaglio’s back on the naughty step
JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834
Links:
Mexican Wave - https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1040007111920194&utm_source=www.upshot.email&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=severed-heads-of-criminals
USA Chants - https://x.c
England 2007-2017: that’s why mugs lose to Iceland (part two)
England’s World Cup dream is in ruins. It’s the end of the golden generation.
And what comes next is even worse…
In part two, England’s stars sink even further: backseat blowies, managers leaking team sheets to punters on the tube, and undercover stings.
If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_
Raheem Sterling’s 9am balloon arrest
On the show today:
- Raheem Sterling’s 9am balloon arrest
- Jack Wilshere’s chirpsing in fish and chip shops
- Amir Khan’s caveman sexts
If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship
JP's gossip hotline: 07354 079 834
Links from the pod:
Sterling driving incident:
https://
England’s terrible 2010s: wallies, WAGs and webcams
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Miami, 2014.
Frazzled England gaffer Roy Hodgson throws on Ricky Lambert in a desperate bid to break the deadlock against 10 man Honduras.
The match finishes 0-0, and England’s darkest decade rolls on.
But for all their misery on the pitch, England’s stars did have fun off it: stripping on webcams, seshi
Arsenal wrong’uns XI: Pizza Hut scraps and Hong Kong police chases
From chainsaw attackers to Nicklas Bendtner, we debate the funniest Arsenal players of all time…
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8437 or visit: https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship
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Pep’s drug scandal and a twist in the Katie Price kidnap saga
Unlock the Patreon version and get an extra episode every week: www.patreon.com/upshottowersOn the show today:- Pep’s drug scandal- More insane twists in Katie Price kidnap saga- Evangelos Marinakis’s punch up in the standsIf you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&ut
Rat poison cocktails: an Enhanced Games special (bonus ep with Redhanded podcast)
Doping was once a noble art, where Victorian eccentrics plied human guinea pigs with rat poison cocktails and cocaine enemas.
But with the launch of the Enhanced Games, it’s gone professional.
To celebrate this Las Vegas freakshow, we join legendary true crime podcast Redhanded for a special bonus episode on the history of doping.
Check out Redhanded: https://open.spotify.com/show/0emVYc04B4y5
Bukayo Saka and Declan Rice’s 5am bender
On the show today: Saka and Rice’s 5am bender, the Formula 1 stripper drought, and has Katie Price’s Chelsea husband been KIDNAPPED?
Whatsapp JP’s gossip line on: 07354 079 834
Links from the pod:
Arsenal training ground celebrations: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1ti0nvf/the_moment_arsenal_found_out_they_became/
Leicester celebrations at Vardy’s house: https://www.youtube.com/watc
Mason Greenwood has finally gone too far
On the pod today: Neymar slaps a wonderkid, Aubameyang scraps with a club exec, and has Mason Greenwood finally gone too far?
Join The Upshot’s patreon for our episodes on the wild life stories of sport’s biggest names.
Patreon.com/upshottowers
Links from the pod:
Theo Hernandez’s “escort parties” - https://x.com/acmilan_brasil/status/2053954025423511705?s=46 Arsenal fan thrown down the stairs
Roman Abramovich: poisoned by the KGB (part two)
Roman’s rags to riches tale turns to chaos as his Chelsea stars start wife swapping, he buys the moon, and gets poisoned by the KGB.
Links from the pod:
- Terry slip - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSnZz0kBnqs
- Torres goal against Barca with the Nevgasm: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCmSJvT0Z1Y
- Branislav Ivanovic interview: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1679815002117505024
- Mo
Roman Abramovich: a murder every 3 days (part one)
Get part 2 instantly when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers
In his early twenties, Roman Abramovich was schlepping 1,000 miles to sell rubber ducks in Russia’s freezing north.
A decade later he was Russia’s second richest man, best pals with Putin and a Premier League champion.
From flying sushi to Azerbaijan to getting poisoned by the KGB, this is the story of Roman Abramovich
Has Matt Le Tissier finally lost his mind?
On the pod today: Matt Le Tissier’s latest madcap theory, Clive Tyldesley’s backseat bonking and Jack Grealish on the sesh again.
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Links from the show:
David Haye on I’m a celeb: https://youtu.be/ygX_fSLGgNo?si=gBWolJCrbetSPYw_&t=27
Dapper Laughs standup: https://www.instagram.com/p/DX
F1’s naughty 90s: prison, princesses and pitlane punch-ups
In the 1990s, F1 was filled with reckless mavericks.
And their antics off the track make Drive to Survive look like Herbie the Lovebug.
They trashed hotel rooms, teargassed taxi drivers and had trysts with princesses on car bonnets.
From pitlane punch-ups to the rise of Katie Price, this is the story of F1’s naughty nineties…
LINKS FROM THE SHOW
Senna Playboy interview
Nigel Mansell as a po
Michael Jordan: f*** them kids | Part two
Michael Jordan might be an Olympic hero and NBA champion, but he’s got a smaller knob than Scottie Pippen and he’s just been caught cosying up to a coke dealer.
Will the NBA’s biggest name be destroyed by it? Or can he bounce back?
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Michael Jordan: he still owes me that 75 cents | Part one
The 1990s were a different time. You could smoke on planes, recite your best friend’s phone number, and get noshed off in the Oval Office.
And the biggest star on the planet was a tight-fisted genius from Teachy, North Carolina: Michael Jordan.
He broke bread with drug barons, paid off his mistresses and lost $100k on a game of rock paper scissors.
From cocaine in the dressing room to measurin
Ashley Cole: one call changed everything | Part two (with George Cooper)
It’s 2005 and Ashley Cole is riding high, tearing up the Premier League and shacked up with Britain’s biggest heartthrob.
But the papers are out to get him…
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Links from the episode:
Gaudy wedding pics: https://share.google/8L0Pz
Ashley Cole: girls allowed | Part one (with George Cooper)
In the naughty noughties, no one did tabloid scandal like Ashley Cole…
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Links from the episode:
Van Nistlerooy nearly breaks his leg: https://www.youtube.com/wat
OLD GOLD | Tiger Woods: Get in the hole!
In light of Tiger's latest crash, we're reposting this fan favourite episode which we first released in 2023.
Drug-fuelled car crashes. 121 mistresses. Shagging the next door neighbour's daughter.
No one does scandals like Tiger Woods.
But if you think you know the full story, think again. Buckle in for the sordid tale of a golfer gone wild…
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Keys and Gray: it was just banter | Part two (with George Wilde)
The pair are destroyed by a series of videos showing them at their absolute worst.
We revel in the fall out and the recovery, as Keys and Gray decamp to Qatar, settle old scores with their enemies, and both are rocked by more sex scandals.
And of course, we answer the big question: Smash It?
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Keys and Gray: smash it? | Part one (with George Wilde)
When Richard Keys and Andy Gray burst onto our screens in the early 90s, they were a breath of fresh air.
But behind the scenes, the pair turned the Sky Sports studio into a seedy boys club.
They were forced out in disgrace, and that was just the start…
From parties with pornstars to banging their best friend’s wives, this is the scandalous saga of Keys and Gray… smash it?
Links from the episo
Joey Barton back behind bars | Extra shot
On the show today:
- Joey Barton is in trouble with the law twice in one day
- Wayne Rooney trousers down
- Boris Beckers tales of Diddy’s freak-offs.
Download SAILY in your app store and use our code UPSHOT at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to https://saily.com/upshot
Links from the pod:
Eni Aluko’s Declan Rice conspiracy theory: https://t
OLD GOLD | Neil Warnock: he'd fookin' die for you lot
They don't make managers like Neil Warnock anymore.
He gave team talks naked, cut his players' toe nails and picked the team based on his wife's dreams.
So by all means enjoy this podcast, but "enjoy it by being fucking disciplined"...
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The footballer who took LSD before matches (with Charlie Milner)
Drink. Drugs. Explosive benders. And the inspiration for a rock band’s hit single.
Nope, it’s not an iconic supermodel, it’s a hellraising winger from west London.
From robbing graves to LSD before kick off, meet Robin Friday, the original rock 'n' roll footballer…
Links from the episode:
Highlight reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X64i1bunpKo
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Conor McGregor: tell him I’m his daddy | Part two
At the end of part one, Conor was on a high: the most feared MMA fighter in the world, and about to take on Khabib in the most eagerly anticipated UFC fight of all time.
But things are about to get ugly…
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Conor McGregor: the scummiest man on the planet | Part one
Conor McGregor was once considered a combat genius who ranked alongside Sun Tzu, Bruce Lee and Fionn mac Cumhaill.
But then came the cocaine, convictions and carnage.
As his mask slipped, the unhinged Irishmen turned into a frothing beast, smashing up buses, punching grandads and peppering popstars with dick pics.
From ayahuasca in the jungle to shagging at funerals, this is the story of Conor
Cristiano Ronaldo: it’s my orgy and I’ll cry if I want to (with Max Fosh)
You don’t make it to the top without getting a little weird.
Just ask Cristiano Ronaldo.
He scraps with teenagers, had an orgy with his taxi driver, and keeps a handwritten list of his silverware in his pocket.
From fivesomes with teammates to getting throttled by Ryan Giggs, this is his story…
Links from the episode:
As a youngster: https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/SPORT-P
Winter Olympics: Hitler’s mistress and hot tub orgies
Sure, Usain Bolt ran the 100m in 9.58 seconds.
But has he ever been strapped to a teatray and hurled headfirst down Mont Blanc? (or an artificial slide in a concrete chinese business park)
And he never shagged Hitler, murdered his rivals, or got high before races either…
But I know some people who did…
From Stasi spies to hot tub orgies, buckle into your bobsled for the wildest stories in Wint
Mikhalio Mudryk is banned AGAIN | Extra Shot
On the show today: Todd Boehly’s Epstein meetings, Nick Kyrgios' Australian Open bender, and Lewis Hamilton’s finally gets with the girl in the year above
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Links from the pod:
Boxer gets wig knocked off: https://x.com/DevinOffWestern/status/2017778496999985203
Graeme Souness: for me that cat’s done nothing wrong (with Vittorio Angelone) | Part two
Graeme faces death threats, confronts gun-wielding players and is duped into signing striker by a telephone prankster.
After five glorious years in Glasgow, Graeme Souness has been hounded out of his homeland by a terrifying tea lady.
But he’s about to step into the biggest job of all: Liverpool Football Club.
And that’s when everything goes pear shaped…
Graeme faces death threats, confronts
Graeme Souness: he’s scared of the tea lady (with Vittorio Angelone) | Part one
From gun-wielding strikers to love triangles with George Best, this is his story…
In his glory years, Graeme Souness was a bonafide hunk who dated Miss World, won 3 European Cups and took meetings with his knob out.
Which makes you wonder: why is he such a moody bastard?
The Liverpool legend decked his own captain, scalped his friend with a pick axe, and was hounded out of Scotland by an irate
Lutz Pfannenstiel: he kidnapped a penguin (with Jason Manford)
They say you have to be mad to be a goalkeeper.
And nobody is more batshit crazy than Lutz Pfannenstiel, the German stopper who played for 25 clubs on 6 continents.
He kidnapped penguins, threatened to knock out Take That and spent 101 days in a grisly Singapore slammer.
From fighting off murderers to dying three times on the pitch, meet Lutz Pfannenstiel: you’re going to like him…
Learn more
Ruben Amorim: we are the worst team in Man United history
In September 2024 the world was a very different place.
Sleepy Joe was in the White House, The United Strand had a short back and sides, and Ruben Amorim was the most vaunted young coach in Europe.
But 14 months on, United’s latest saviour left a familiar mess in his wake: seething fans, mutinous players and Gary Neville harping on about the Club’s DNA.
From naked fans to nightmares in Grimsby
Thomas Tuchel on the pull in Notting Hill | The funniest stories in sport this week
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Love triangles and landlords from hell: AFCON’s wildest scandals
From pornstar girlfriends to birthday cakes delivered by concorde, buckle in for African football’s maddest moments…
Follow Moses: @mosesduckrell
LINKS FROM THE POD:
Mbutu leopard outfit: https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/bfgp2w0COKqnrhqELPl0dfTfPDri3ZCn8oRsqNsGdNdKEHEGoi_rUilHZr0eMCOn-mVp6Bl4hoa-t9cSSfJ1Pt6Mmv7SUEWnJaP41QjKlemJB8S6dSKHNn5jf94
Zaire defender boots ball away: https://www.
Luke Littler: Darts. Kebabs. Vapes. In that order.
The Rope and Anchor, 2013.
The pub’s 53-year-old darts champion gulps as his opponent puts down his PSP and step up to the oche.
It’s Luke Littler, the six year old sensation whose rise to the top has just begun.
From splurging prize money on vapes to chirpsing girls on Xbox live, this is the story of darts’ first wonderkid…
Links from the pod:
Luke playing at 18 months old: https://x.com/Jum
Smugglers, syphilis and a Neymar’s farmyard orgy: the wildest stories of 2025
Join us as we dish out the only gongs more worthless than Fifa’s peace prize.
LINKS FROM THE POD:
Lamine Yamal party: https://x.com/JackMacCFB/status/1944719886992744913
Emmanuel Petit announces Pat Rice’s death: https://x.com/AlleyMatty/status/1881478083313906032
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Fake Sheikh: the king of the sting UNMASKED (part two)
From Jerry Springer’s threesomes to infiltrating the Taliban, this is the story of The Fake Sheikh…
Mazher Mahmood has been caught out using the claims of a serial fantasist to flog a bollocks story about Posh Spice being kidnapped.
And his downfall has only just begun…
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Inside Messi’s Indian catastrophe | The funniest stories in sport this week
Plus: Samuel Eto’o’s AFCON meltdown and a knife-wielding Sunderland striker.
Get tickets to to the Upshot’s Live shows in April: https://www.livenation.co.uk/the-upshot-live-tickets-adp1637635
We’re hiring! Apply for the role as The Upshot’s new video producer: https://www.upshot.email/p/we-re-hiring-a-video-producer-36e9
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Fake Sheikh: the grubbiest hack on Fleet Street (part one)
Dubai, 2006. Sven Goran Eriksson sips Dom Perignon with an Arabian prince on the deck of a 70ft superyacht.
But Sven’s white-robed companion is no oil-rich Emir: it’s the Fake Sheikh.
For three devious decades, the tabloid hack lived life undercover, exposing everyone from murderous GPs to Mick Jagger.
From Jerry Springer’s threesomes to infiltrating the Taliban, this is the story of The Fake Shei
Ivan Toney’s nightclub headbutt | The funniest stories in sport this week
We’re hiring! Apply for the role as The Upshot’s new video producer: https://www.upshot.email/p/we-re-hiring-a-video-producer-36e9
Plus: England’s Ashes flops are throwing cash at Aussie children and why 70s hit YMCA is NOT a gay song
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The Beckhams: a bunch of spicy bints (with Finlay Christie)
Britain already has a royal family.
But if the entire Windsor bloodline is ever wiped out in a freak yachting accident, there’s a ready made replacement.
The Beckhams.
For two glorious decades, Victoria, David and their offspring have ruled the worlds of music, sport and bacon sandwich making.
From shagging on trains to necking cups of bleach, this is the story of the other Beckhams…
Watch Finlay
Troy Parrott crashes down to earth | The funniest stories in sport this week
Get tickets to to the Upshot’s Live shows in April:
https://www.livenation.co.uk/the-upshot-live-tickets-adp1637635
Plus: The BBC colleague who drove Wayne Rooney to get the snip and Jamie Redknapp’s secret alter ego for picking up girls
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Kevin Keegan: a series of unfortunate events
The name Kevin Keegan should conjure images of glittering European nights, mazy dribbles and Balon d’Or wins.
But for most people, football’s unluckiest icon is remembered for four words: I WOULD LOVE IT.
And he’s had plenty of bad luck.
He was beaten up by drug dealers, discovered Father Christmas’ lifeless corpse, and got shot in the face with a bow and arrow.
From undercover gigolos to getting
John Terry fights to free Charles Bronson | The funniest stories in sport this week
Get tickets to to the Upshot’s Live shows in April:
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(Tickets go on sale 10am Thursday)
Plus: John Terry fights to free Britain’s most notorious prisoner, Newcastle fans shagging in the Marseille toilets, The Olympic Star whose lawyer advised him to murder a witness.
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Zlatan Ibrahimovic: get the milk, asshole (with Joel Golby)
Malmo, Sweden. A 6ft 5 arsonist speeds away from a burning hot dog stand in a rented Lexus.
Little do the cops know, the mystery bomber is playing in the Champions League on Tuesday night.
It’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the cocksure striker with a criminal streak.
From robbing the manager to terrorising randy priests, this is his story…
Follow Joel on Insta: www.instagram.com/joelgolby
And buy his book:
Joe Marler’s big day out is RUINED | The funniest stories in sport this week
Plus: disgraced Spanish FA chief Luis Rubiales is egged by his uncle, the Serbian WAG who’s dad was a warlord, and our man Down Under gives us the inside scoop on Ashes Eve.
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Matt Le Tissier: how a Prem legend went tin foil hat (part two)
Matt Le Tissier’s empire of filth has been shut down by the cops.
And he’ll never trust the establishment again.
But his battles with the state and its puppets are just getting started.
In part 2, Matt hooks up with Goldilocks at a pantomime, feuds with Glen Hoddle and Gary Lineker, and uncovers the sinister plot to control the weather…
Links from the pod:
Valley Slags: https://www.youtube.com/w
I was bullied by Brooklyn Beckham | The funniest stories in sport this week
Plus: Infantino makes a tit of himself again, and departing gaffer Rob Edwards is thrown out of Middlesbrough by security
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Links from the pod:
Mascots minute silence: https://x.com/MascotSilence/status/1193140302946586624 https://x.com/MascotSilence/status/1193140302946586624
Join The Upsho
Matt Le Tissier: a playboy gone potty (part one)
In the 1990s, Matt Le Tissier was the ultimate cult hero.
A Malibu-swigging everyman with magic feet, he ran a strip club, got headbutted on dancefloors and guzzled KFC buckets every night.
But then things got a bit weird.
In his second act, Le Tiss warn against communist takeovers, accused Boris Johnson of controlling the weather, and withdrew his consent to be governed.
This is his story…
Links
Jake Humphrey’s curse claims another victim | The funniest stories in sport this week
Plus: Wesley Fofana gets 47 points on his licence and the Spurs star held at gunpoint by his agent.
Get The White Hot Lawn Mower® 5.0 Ultra for 15% OFF with code UPSHOT at Manscaped.com! #ManscapedPartner
Links from the pod:
Wesley Fofana speeding: https://x.com/search?q=fofana%20driving&src=typed_query
Zenit midfielder attempted kidnapping: https://x.com/Buckarobanza/status/1982730247402586248
D
Silvio Berlusconi: Bunga Bunga Presidente (part two)
Silvio Berlusconi is the all powerful King of Italy, and behind the scenes, he’s up to some very, very seedy antics.
He dresses escorts as Barack Obama, lures George Clooney into his lair, and is rocked by an ungodly number of sex scandals.
Links from the episode:
Christmas party speech: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1668281158889603072
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more informa
Martin O’Neill’s Yorkshire Ripper run in | Extra shot
On the pod: The midfielder who stole the second most famous painting in the world, and an Aussie Surfer’s despicable deed outrages India.
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Links from the pod:
Louvre heist detective: https://share.google/images/twil1XYbeD1bwkILY
Vitor Pereira arguing with Wolves fans: https://x.com/footbal
Silvio Berlusconi: the seediest man in football (part one)
Milan, 1986. Italian billionaire Silvio Berlusconi lands on the San Siro pitch in a helicopter blasting Ride of the Valkyries.
He leads AC Milan to two decades of glory, but behind the suntan and scudettos lurks an empire of sleaze.
Silvio scrapped with Liverpool fans, lured the EU president to a sex party and branded the German chancellor an “unfuckable lardarse”.
And he was still elected Prime M
Jack Grealish on the sesh in Dubai | Extra shot
Plus: Pierluigi Collina strips his fellow refs naked, the man with a Man United crest tattooed on his forehead, and is Tom Daly a bastard?
Links from the pod:
Fergie and Kenny Dalglish sharing a bag of chocolate buttons: https://x.com/SkySportsPL/status/1979949849542828491
Man Utd fan tattoo: https://share.google/images/yLW19WTsvKd1mGNZA
Pep with autograph hunters: https://x.com/City_Chief/statu
Mickey Thomas: Welcome to Wrectum
These days, Wrexham Football Club is a saccharine Disney+ fairytale starring white toothed Hollywood megastars.
But there was a time when the club’s biggest hero was a champagne swigging convict with a thirst for beauty queens and fake bank notes.
His name was Mickey Thomas.
From seshes with George Michael to screwdrivers up the aris, this is the story of the Welsh George Best…
Get an extra bonu
FIFA unveil a new grift and why Mbappe is jealous of Joe Willock | Extra shot
Plus: the Argentine fan who turned up to his own funeral
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Links from the pod:
Infantino at peace summit: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPww9n1jdRj/
Irish Cape Verde star: https://x.com/BBCMOTD/status/1978036280392098003
Joe Willock runs out of petrol: https://x.com/Allansoldfriend/status
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