The Total Whine Podcast
The Total Whine Podcast, hosted by Emily Frase, offers Catholic women honest and practical guidance on faith, sex, and marriage. With a blend of humor and Star Wars references, it addresses the challenges of living a faithful life. The podcast aims to provide reassurance that listeners are not alone in their struggles.
Episodes
Episode 33: Work Life/ Mom Life
I share my four non-negotiables for balancing work and motherhood successfully. Here "successfully" is understood to mean "staying sane".
Episode 32: Sexual Pleasure, Word of the Year
Contrary to the order of the title, I discuss my Word of the Year first in today's episode, then I take a look at Pope Francis' latest comments about the goodness of sexual pleasure. Obviously, I listed the latter first because click bait.
See more on Pope Francis' comments here.
Episode 31: Cussin'
Way back, someone asked whether cussing was a sin. Naturally, I thought it would make a great podcast episode.
Mentioned in today's episode:
Catholic Answers Article
Father Mike Schmitz video
Episode 30: Tradwives, Nostalgia, and Happy Grandmas
Were our grandmothers happier? Were things in general better in the past? Should we adopt lifestyles or hobbies from days gone by to be happier or even holier? In today's episode, I answer these questions using lots of non-cuss words.
Episode 29: Nostalgia
An introspective look about where I started with Total Whine, where I am now, and where I hope to go. If you're new to the podcast, I recommend skipping this one in favor for one of my sex episodes first ;)
Episode 28: A Nuanced Look at Suffering
Suffering sucks, but it's part of life. Unhelpfully, most conversations talk about it in terms of needing to embrace it, smile through it, or avoid it like the plague. If none of those have worked for you, good news, there's another option. If you've ever wanted to have your pain taken away, or wondered why we suffer at all, this episode is for you.
Episode 27: The Supper of the Lamb with Emily Stimpson Chapman
Dream come true, I got to have a chat with Emily Stimpson Chapman about her new book, The Supper of the Lamb, a children's book about the mass adapted from Scott Hahn's The Lamb's Supper. It's an exquisite book that will capture your child's imagination, and probably yours too.
Of course, I had to talk to Emily about motherhood as well, and she shared some wonderful words of
Episode 26: Christina Valenzula and Charting for Single Women
It's an absolute delight to bring you such a fun conversation with my dear friend, Christina Valenzuela, about her new book, Cycle Charting for Single Women.
You can purchase the book here
And be sure to follow Christina on Instagram @pearlandthistle
Christina Valenzuela is the owner and creative director of Pearl & Thistle, LLC, where she offers a unique blend of theology and science
Episode 25: My Marian Testimony
It's the Feast of the Our Lady of the Rosary, my 11th renewal of Marian consecration, and I want to talk about my relationship with my Heavenly Momma. I think most Catholic women have struggled in their relationship with Mary at some point, and I want to share my experiences with her, not as a way to tell you where you need to be, but to invite you to think about Mary maybe in a way you haven&
Episode 24: Catherine of Siena, Trad Bros and Ayn Rand
In this episode, you are treated to the big ball of wire that is my brain where these wildly un-connectable dots - Catherine of Siena, Trad Bros and Ayn Rand - somehow connect. Find out how a conversation with a friend about the woman's experience of sex got my wires buzzing.
Episode 23: Instagram Q&A
I asked my Instagram followers for topics they'd like me to discuss, and they delivered. I answered 3 questions:
1. Is it ok for Catholics to say "we're done" having kids, while still using NFP?
2. How to combat the "priests on a pedastal" mentality?
3. How to find supportive family/ couple friends and community in your parish?
The link I mentioned in my opening story
Episode 22: Birth Wars
The topic that only took me a year or so to tackle. My pitch can be summarized like so: yes, there are big issues with maternal care, but moralizing birth methods is not the solution. If you have no idea what birth wars are, you'll find out in the second half of the episode. The first half is just me going off about how we need to treat all birth with a deep sense of awe. Enjoy!
Episode 21: A Devotional for the Overwhelmed
This episode is a bit different - I read one of my favorite scripture passages from the book of Numbers, an epic hissy fit thrown by one of the great prophets. It's a blueprint for prayer for those of us tired and overwhelmed to pray honest prayers, and as you'll hear, it's those kind of prayers that get quick and thorough (perhaps even a little sassy) responses.
Episode 20: Homeschooling and School Choice
The episode in which I share our decision to homeschool this year. I also talk about why the urge to paint homeschooling as the morally superior decision in all situations because we live in a crazy world is, well to put it frankly, dumb.
Episode 19: Ladies Talking Sex with Dr. Sarah Bartel
I loved having Dr. Sarah Bartel on the show to share about her program My Delight, a 3 month coaching course for Catholic women to navigate issues and understanding of sexuality. It is both practical and theologically sound, and so so needed!
Dr. Bartel and I spent the majority of the time talking about Catholic teaching regarding sex, so this is an episode that any woman would find helpful. She
Episode 18: Discernment with Fr. Andrew Clark
You're going to love this conversation I have with my friend Fr. Andrew Clark of the Diocese of Arlington, VA about discernment. I saw a video of him talking about discernment in a way I'd never heard before and instantly new you needed to hear what he shared. In talking about NFP, one thing that comes up constantly is confusion over what discernment is, how to discern well, etc. Fr. Clark
Episode 17: Why NFP?
It is definitely my passion to make space for people to talk about how NFP can be super sucky. But maybe I have some of you wondering: If NFP is so rough, why do it at all? Why not use some form of contraception instead?
In this episode, I answer this by sharing the question that led to my fully embracing NFP - Which means of avoiding or achieving pregnancy will help me and my spouse work toward
Episode 16: The Barbie movie, Leadership and the Our Lost Sense of Humor
I watched the Barbie movie and I laughed out loud. So many times! And I needed to spend a little time adding that to the noise. I also add my own critique on what the film has to say about masculinity. But mostly, this is me saying that if you enjoyed the movie as fun entertainment, you weren't alone.
Episode 15: My Story, an NFP Week Special
Since I started sharing about NFP, I've heard a lot of pushback about how I focus too much on the negative, how my approach will turn people off from practicing NFP, and I should talk more about the blessings and benefits. It's a fair judgment, but one I don't agree with. Because it was precisely that approach that made the practice of NFP so needlessly miserable for me.
In today'
Episode 14: Can you say no to your spouse?
And yes I'm talking about seggs. Algorithms don't like that word though, so here we are. I can't believe I have to explain this, but I did.
Episode 13: Grieving Motherhood
Remember that girl who laughed easily? Had endless energy? Could function effortlessly on little sleep? At times, motherhood seems to have replaced all the things that were good in our lives. Emily seeks to change this narrative. It is possible hold joy and grief at the same time. Help is just around the corner.
Episode 12: Can you use NFP selfishly?; Are vibrators licit for Catholic marriages?
In an episode that needs no introduction, I finally answer two of my favorite questions. I also share the results of the Instagram stories poll where I asked if you would mind me recording episodes with kiddo noise in the background now that they're out of school for the summer. The answer shocked me!
I included as much nuance as I could in both topics (without talking all day), particularly
Episode 11: The Conundrum of Mother's Day
Today's episode is a weird conglomeration of my musings about how to both celebrate Mother's Day and the women who make the sacrifice of raising and loving little people AND to hold space for those who long for motherhood or who don't have children we can see. What does it look like to hold the both/and here? Spoiler alert, I don't really provide an answer. I'm opening the topi
Episode 10: Gentle Parenting
My thoughts and opinions and experience with gentle parenting. I'm not an expert. I'm trying just like you.
As a good millennial parent, obviously I have some Instagram accounts I like on this topic which are:
@dr.siggie
@adamyoungcounseling
@feedinglittles
@nurturedfirst (formerly @ourmamavillage)
Episode 9: Contraceptive Mentality, The Real Stuff
In today's episode, I invite you to join a conversation with two of my very good friends, Mary Bruno and Bridget Busacker, about how the fruit of the ideology that "NFP can be used with a contraceptive mentality" is some really bad fruit. While episode 8 contains verbatim quotes of what the Church actually says about NFP and sex, this episode is three friends explaining how this ideology leads dow
Episode 8: Contraceptive Mentality, The Esoteric Stuff
Hold on for some serious Catholic insider baseball in this part one of who knows how many episodes either directly or indirectly on this topic. I am getting into the nitty gritty of church teaching, what it actually says about sex and marriage, where this whole movement against NFP within the church comes from and why I speak out against it - all a result of 5 years of my own questioning and study
Episode 7: Where mothers don't belong
When we talk about the importance of motherhood, one of the questions that also pops up is this: how do we ensure that our children continue in the faith as they grow older? The answer might surprise you. As a part two to Episode 3: Where do mothers belong?, I'm taking a deeper dive into what our roles are as mothers when teaching our children about the character of God.
Episode 6: Hero Dads and Skinny Jeans
In this palette cleanse episode, I'm sharing brief thoughts on my rewatch of The Mandalorian in anticipation of season 3, a quick brag on my husband, and a a deep exposition of what I'm calling my fashion mid life crisis. Because around here, I get silly from time to time and just roll with it.
Episode 5: Intimacy, Libidos and Sleepy Sex, Oh MY!
A deep dive into the nuance of whether wives should have sex with their husbands when they're tired.
Also, couple of errors to correct:
The text book definition of libido is "the energy of the sexual drive as a component of the life instinct."
And I have 3 children, not 4 as I said at one point.
If this conversation brings up a lot of things for you and you want to work through it, I canno
Episode 4: Sex Talks: Parenting Edition
Do you cringe at the thought of talking to your little ones about the Birds and the Bees? Or maybe you are kicking yourself for introducing it “too soon” because your kid won’t stop yelling, “PENIS!” in public. What if I told you teaching your children about sex begins with *your* mindset and is a conversation you have more often with actions than words?
IG accounts to follow for tips on ha
Episode 3: Where do mothers belong?
You know what really grinds my gears? The debate about whether moms should work or stay home.
In today's episode, I’m "going there" HARD CORE to explain why I believe the most important question is not where women belong, but rather where God is calling them. I explore why basing morality on where a mother is located - whether in an office or at home - removes the beautiful possibilities a woman d
Episode 2: What it means to "get curious"
If you've ever been in Emily's Q&A boxes in Instagram stories, you've probably seen her respond to some questions with "get curious." And the frequency with which she uses that response possibly annoys the crap out of you.
In today's episode, Emily is doing a deep dive on precisely what she means by "get curious," how she developed the skill in therapy and the effects in her own life, and how
Episode 1: Babies being babies in mass; Boudoir shoots; Can I say "sex" in front of my kids?
In the inaugural episode, Emily shares a little story about some of her kids' outbursts in mass, some important considerations if you've ever thought about doing a boudoir photo shoot, and why it's so important for *you* to be the first person that tells your kids about sex.
Babies in mass 2:25
Boudoir shoot 5:45
Talking about sex to kids 15:25
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