The Angry Therapist Podcast
The Angry Therapist Podcast features raw, unfiltered audio episodes where the host shares personal reflections and confessions, akin to audio journaling. In video episodes, the host answers listener questions on love, dating, and relationships, offering therapy-inspired insights with guests. The show aims to provide real talk and practical tools for building healthy relationships, blending psychobabble-free advice with soul-baring honesty.
Episodes
Love has to change to last
Some of the hardest truths about relationships are the ones we spend the most time avoiding. I’m talking about the conversations that challenge the way we think about marriage, love, resentment, breakups, and even our own intuition.
I start with a controversial idea: I think marriages need to die. Not because divorce is the goal, but because long-term relationships can’t survive if the old versio
What I’d tell myself 10 years before losing everything
In this episode, I reflect on what I’d tell myself 10 years ago about
losing everything, rebuilding, and learning that security was never
really about what I owned.
I also share a story about a local surfer in Costa Rica who offered to
teach me after watching me struggle in the water every day. What stayed
with me wasn’t the surfing—it was the feeling of being seen, believed
in, and chosen a
Therapy Thursdays | Are You Staying for Love or Out of Fear?
Are you staying because you want to or because you’re afraid to leave? In this Therapy Thursdays, I answer your questions about fading attraction, slow-burn love, situationships, and healing after heartbreak. We also talk about what it takes to start liking yourself again. And before you decide there’s no spark, there’s one question worth asking yourself…
🎙️ Connect with me:
📘 My latest book,
Raising Conscious Kids with Dr. Shefali
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Shefali who is an NYT bestselling author of The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family. She is also a clinical psychologist, an international speaker and a wisdom teacher, integrating Eastern philosophy with Western psychology.
We talk about what it actually means to raise conscious boys and girls in a world that is changing faster than ever.
We talk abou
Is it love - or are you just obsessed?
I’m answering a few questions about love, desire, affairs, and obsession. I start with a question about losing desire for a husband after having an affair and whether that desire can actually come back. My answer is yes - but I don’t think getting the old desire back should be the goal. Sometimes the relationship we had has died, and the work is to create something new instead.
I also talk about
The resentment you don’t talk about will change your relationship
I think resentment is one of the biggest things that can crack a relationship. We get hurt, minimize it, swallow it, and keep moving until all those little things start piling up. Eventually, the resentment becomes so big that we don't see the person or the relationship the same way anymore.
In this episode, I talk about why we need to learn how to express ourselves before resentment turn
What the darkness taught me about God
I’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship with God. I believe in God. I believe in something greater. But I’ve realized that believing in God and actually having a relationship with God are two different things for me.
In this episode, I get honest about growing up without religion, my complicated history with Christianity, the moments in my life that have felt undeniably spiritual, and wh
Therapy Thursdays | Why You’re Stuck, What Real Intimacy Feels Like & Letting Go Without Closure
Why do we remain stuck in the same patterns, compare ourselves to our partner’s past, or wait for an ex to give us closure?
In Episode 26 of Therapy Thursdays, John answers your most personal questions about identity, intimacy, insecurity, attachment and relationships. He explains why meaningful change requires us to let go of an old version of ourselves - and why the familiar can feel safe eve
How We Sabotage Ourselves
I’m breaking down the biggest ways I think we sabotage our own healing, relationships, and lives. This conversation came from a post that resonated with millions of people and grew into a series because these patterns are so common - and so easy to mistake for growth.
I talk about why insight isn’t the same as change, why breakups aren’t something we simply “get over,” why divorce doesn’t automat
10 Questions About Love
What happens when I know better but still find myself repeating the same relationship patterns? I answer 10 questions about love, attachment, obsession, loneliness, breakups, abuse, reconciliation, and the difficult choices we make when relationships activate something deeper inside us.
I talk about why we can confuse familiarity with safety, why we sometimes become addicted to what another perso
Are you in love or attached to the fantasy?
What is the difference between loving someone and becoming obsessed with them? In this episode, I explore how love can slowly turn into fixation, fantasy, and emotional dependency, and why so many of us confuse chemistry with compatibility.
Recording from a hotel room, I reflect on my own experiences with emotional intensity, attachment patterns, love addiction, fantasy, and obsession, as well
The house you grew up in still lives inside you
The house I grew up in is probably still living inside me. And the house you grew up in may still be living inside you, too.
I’m recording from a diner in Mexico City and exploring one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves: What was the emotional climate of the home I grew up in?
This conversation goes far beyond nostalgia or childhood memories. I explore how the emotional atm
Therapy Thursdays | How to know what’s actually healthy for you
In this Therapy Thursdays episode, I’m answering the relationship and personal-growth questions we often think about but don’t always know how to ask.
What does an emotionally safe relationship actually feel like? How do you know if you’re settling - or simply navigating the normal challenges of being with someone? When does a relationship push you toward growth, and when does it start pulling
When Enough Is Finally Enough: What It Means to Live a Meaningful Life with Buddy Wakefield
When is enough enough?
What if the life you're chasing is based on someone else's definition of success? In this conversation, John Kim and Buddy Wakefield explore the difference between going wide and going deep, and why fulfillment may have less to do with fame, money, and recognition than we think.
From poetry, Portugal, and Los Angeles to money, hope, and the pressure to constantly achieve m
Stop letting the world decide how you feel
What if the biggest factor affecting your mental health isn’t what happens to you, but which container you’re paying attention to?
In this personal check-in from Mexico City, I reflect on the difference between the macro container - the collective world of politics, climate change, technology, uncertainty, and fear - and the micro container - your relationships, work, family, community, and dai
Re-release: How Codependency Impacts Our Relationships
Stop losing yourself to love.
What if codependency isn't just about your relationships with other people, but your relationship with yourself?
In this episode, John and Vanessa explore why recovering from codependency is really about building a stronger sense of identity. They explain how people pleasing, lacking boundaries, and fearing rejection can keep us disconnected from who we really a
Beyond survival: Returning to yourself
What happens when life forces you to start over?
In this personal check-in, John Kim reflects on the unexpected lessons that came from rebuilding his life after losing his home. From learning to surf at 53 to finding clarity through travel and stepping out of survival mode, this episode explores what it means to reconnect with yourself and embrace a different way of living.
In this episode:
Re-release: Expectations in Dating
In this episode, John and Vanessa answer listeners' questions about what healthy and unhealthy expectations are in dating, relationships, and marriage.
🔗 Resources & Links
👉 Apply to Inner Compass Academy: https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy
👉 Follow Vanessa on Instagram @vanessasbennett
👉 Author of “The Motherhood Myth” Buy the Book Here: https://www.amazon.com/Motherhoo
The Freedom of Not Having It All Figured Out
What are you curious about these days?
What if taking stock of what you're interested in, and what you're ready to leave behind, could reveal exactly where you're headed next?
In this solo episode, John Kim shares a personal list of the ideas, experiences, and questions capturing his attention in this season of life, alongside the habits, mindsets, and patterns he's no longer interested in c
Therapy Thursdays | The Inner Work Behind Healthy Relationships
What does it actually take to build healthy relationships?
In this Therapy Thursdays episode, John Kim answers some of the most common questions about love, healing, attachment, and personal growth. From redefining what it means to fall in love to understanding why peace is something you give yourself - not something you find - this episode explores the inner work that shapes the way we connec
Personal Notes on Love, Masculinity and Growth
In this solo episode, John Kim shares a collection of personal notes written over coffee in Costa Rica, exploring what he's learning about wholeness, love, masculinity, ambition, and personal growth. Through honest reflections and stories, he challenges the idea that we need to keep proving ourselves and offers a different path rooted in presence, curiosity, and living more fully.
In this episo
What Every New Dad Needs to Know About Intimacy
When sex changes after having a baby, what happens to the relationship?
Becoming parents changes everything, including intimacy. In this episode, John Kim explores what happens when a new father feels disconnected while a new mother is navigating recovery, exhaustion, and the demands of caring for a newborn. He shares his own experience and explains why protecting the relationship is more impor
Redefining the Promises We Make in Love
What if the promises we make in love are setting us up to fail?
In this episode, John Kim is joined by his wife, Vanessa Bennett, to explore how redefining the promises we make in relationships could change the way we love. Instead of focusing on "forever," they discuss commitments rooted in personal growth, accountability, respect, and the willingness to keep doing the inner work, even when re
The Medicine Isn't the Healing. You Are with Sarah Williams
Curious about psychedelic medicine but unsure what it actually does? In this conversation, John Kim sits down with Sarah Williams to explore how medicines like MDMA and psilocybin can support healing, self-discovery, and personal growth when approached with intention, safety, and integration.
Sarah shares her journey from her first ayahuasca experience to becoming a medicine guide, including th
Therapy Thursdays | Dating Apps, Toxic Love & Commitment Issues
In this Therapy Thursdays episode, John answers your questions about toxic relationships, emotional unavailability, sexting in committed relationships, why it's so hard to leave someone who hurts you, and the difference between being in love and being "in lost."
He also shares practical advice on building self-trust, redefining what makes a good day, and what healthy masculinity looks like.
Whe
The Love You're Chasing Might Not Be Love
What if the love you've been chasing was never meant to stay the same?
In this episode, John Kim shares excerpts from his new book, Love Hard on Purpose, and explores how love evolves as we heal. He reflects on the difference between unhealthy, dopamine-driven relationships and the kind of love that challenges us to grow, repair, and become better versions of ourselves.
In this episode:
• W
Re-release: Two Life Game Changers
In this episode, John Kim shares two practices that have had the biggest impact on his own life and wellbeing. He explains why reducing your everyday fight or flight state and learning to get out of your head can help you move from simply surviving to genuinely thriving.
In this episode:
• Why subtle fight or flight can quietly shape your everyday life
• How designing your lifestyle can help
Re-release: The Race Was Never Real | Notes on Slowing Down Without Falling Behind
What happens when you stop chasing and start listening?
In this episode, John shares the personal shifts he's working through after moving to Costa Rica. From learning to surf at 52 to redefining success, he reflects on slowing down, letting go of old patterns, and finding joy in the small moments that make life feel more alive.
In this episode:
• Why he's learning to approach surfing as a
Re-release: First 5 Dating No’s
Dating can feel exhausting, especially when every first date seems loaded with pressure, expectations, and endless swiping.
In this episode, John shares five first-date reminders for navigating modern dating with more confidence, curiosity, and intention. He explores why dating often feels transactional today, how expectations can get in the way of connection, and what it looks like to approach
Therapy Thursdays: Are You Ready to Date Again?
Why is it so hard to let go of someone you know isn't right for you?
How do you know when you've healed enough to date again? Can someone truly love you if you don't love themselves? And what do you do when trust is broken?
In this listener Q&A, I answer questions about heartbreak, attachment, self-worth, trust, and what it actually takes to build healthy relationships. We explore why we can
You Deserve Better: Why Letting Go Creates Space for More
In this personal episode, John shares a collection of journal entries and reflections on fear, identity, reinvention, love, writing, and what it means to fully live. From losing his home in the Los Angeles fire to building a new life in Costa Rica, he explores the fear of reaching the end of life without ever being fully known or fully becoming who you're meant to be.
In this episode:
• Why fe
The New Masculinity: Discipline, Intimacy, and Emotional Strength with Brenden Durell
In this episode, John Kim sits down with Brenden Durell to talk about masculinity, vulnerability, Tantra, intimacy, and emotional growth.
Brenden shares his journey from sports into self-discovery and men’s work, exploring how discipline, trust, and presence can create deeper freedom and connection. They also discuss porn, edging, aftercare, therapeutic experiences with MDMA and San Pedro, and
Re-release: How to Build Relationship Armor
Don’t protect your heart. Protect your relationship.
In this episode, John Kim explores what it really takes to build a
relationship that lasts. After heartbreak, loss, and repeating old
patterns, many people start doing the inner work and realize that
healthy love does not just happen naturally. It has to be built with
intention, ownership, and practice.
John breaks down the idea of “relati
Why Breakups Hurt So Much: Attachment, Grief, and Healing
Why does a breakup feel like more than heartbreak?
In this episode, John Kim explores why breakups can feel like a death, and why that experience is rooted in more than emotion alone. Drawing from neuroscience, attachment theory, and years of therapeutic experience, he explains what happens in the brain after a relationship ends and why healing takes time.
John unpacks the hidden losses tha
Therapy Thursdays: Love, Trust & Difficult Conversations
In this Therapy Thursdays episode, we’re answering listener questions about the messy, tender, and sometimes confusing parts of relationships.
We talk about what it means when someone says “I love you” very early on, how relationships naturally move through different stages, and what to do when the romance starts to fade. We also explore the painful reality of betrayal — including what repair c
Healing Through Joy, Grief, and the Body with Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald
Joy, trauma, grief, healing. What if they’re all connected?
In this conversation, John sits down with Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald to explore what trauma actually does to the nervous system, why joy is more than a fleeting feeling, and how small moments of joy can help us stay grounded through life’s hardest seasons.
They discuss the science behind joy, common misconceptions about trauma, how
When Love Stops Saving the Relationship: Presence, Self-Abandonment, and Starting Over
What if the thing you keep chasing isn’t actually better... just more familiar?
In this solo Q&A episode, John Kim reflects on fantasy, gratitude, emotional presence, and the difference between intensity and real love. From surfing in Costa Rica to answering listener questions about confidence, breakups, infidelity, and self-abandonment in relationships, this episode explores what happens when
How to Expand When Life Narrows You
John Kim explores what it really means to “seek nectar” in everyday life and why tiny moments of beauty, awe, and presence might matter more than we think.
In this solo episode, John reflects on life in Costa Rica, nervous system healing, and the difference between surviving and actually feeling alive. He shares how years of stress and hyper vigilance can train us to scan for danger, and how in
How to Turn Drug-Based Love Into Medicine-Based Love
Love often starts as a drug. But what happens when the high wears off?
In this episode, John Kim explores the difference between “drug-based love” and “medicine-based love,” and why most relationships struggle when chemistry begins to settle. He talks about projection, love addiction, emotional growth, and how real healing begins when relationships stop being a place to escape yourself and beco
Therapy Thursdays | Anxious attachment, Exes & Relationship Myths
In this Therapy Thursdays episode, John answers listener questions about anxious attachment, exes, blame, perfectionism, makeup sex, and relationship myths. He explores how attachment patterns affect your partner, why we sometimes stay mentally connected to an ex, and how to know whether a relationship has real long-term potential.
If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship has legs, why
Re-release: 6 Ways to Love Deeper
In this episode, John explores the different dimensions of intimacy, including emotional, spiritual, mental, passionate, physical, and energy intimacy. He emphasizes the importance of creating a safe space for emotional vulnerability, engaging in meaningful conversations, and practicing empathy and compassion.
🎙️ More about John:
📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the bluepri
Re-release: What to Look for When Choosing to Love Someone
What should you really look for when choosing someone to love?
In this episode, John Kim explores why attraction alone is not enough to build a healthy relationship. He breaks down how instant chemistry can sometimes come from old patterns, why emotional intelligence matters more than intellect, and how self-awareness, consistency, and the ability to create safety are essential in love.
John
I Peed On Myself (And Realized Something Important)
This episode starts with a story about peeing on himself… and somehow turns into a conversation about masculinity, emotional safety, relationships, and rebuilding love after loss.
John records this one off the cuff from a coffee shop in Costa Rica and reflects on the traits he once saw as flaws, the surprising depth that can happen in men’s groups, and a relationship question that’s changing th
How to Build Healthy Love After Emotional Wounds
Some relationship patterns aren’t about the present. They’re about wounds your nervous system learned a long time ago.
In this episode, John Kim breaks down some of the most common emotional wounds people carry into relationships, including abandonment, rejection, betrayal, control, emotional deprivation, and loss of self. He explains how these wounds become patterns, why we react instead of re
Therapy Thursdays: How to know when to stay, repair, or let go
In this Therapy Thursdays episode, we’re answering your questions about dating, attraction, conflict, infidelity, and the messy middle of deciding whether a relationship is worth repairing.
We explore what to look for when you’re dating, how much of your past to share with a partner, and whether physical attraction can grow over time. We also get into the harder questions: why a spouse might be
When Everything Burns Down, You Get to Start Over
In this deeply personal episode, John Kim revisits his story with fresh eyes and new perspective. From divorce and failed screenwriting dreams to becoming a therapist, building a life in Los Angeles, and then losing it all in a fire, he reflects on the defining “act breaks” that reshaped his identity. Now rebuilding in Costa Rica, John explores what it means to live without a blueprint and to desi
Stop Restoring Your Relationship and Start Updating It
In this episode, John explores why trying to bring a relationship back to what itonce was can quietly hold it back. Instead of restoring the past, he reframes love as something that must evolve alongside the people in it, requiring honesty, effort, and a willingness to grow together.
He breaks down how relationships naturally fall out of alignment over time and why that doesn’t mean they’re brok
When Love Feels Like an Addiction
In this vulnerable solo episode, John Kim explores love and sex addiction through the lens of attachment, emotional regulation, childhood wounds, and relationship ruptures. After a painful conflict with his partner, John reflects on how love can become a way to regulate anxiety, emptiness, and the need to feel wanted or chosen. He unpacks the difference between real love and chasing intensity, and
Asian Shame, Childhood Trauma, and the Friendships That Heal Us with Sam Louie
What happens when two men in their 50s look back at the childhood pain that shaped them and realize friendship can be medicine?
John rides in the car with therapist, author, and longtime friend Sam Louie for an honest conversation about Asian shame, childhood trauma, masculinity, and healing. Sam shares what it was like immigrating from Hong Kong, growing up in South Seattle, navigating racism an
Therapy Thursdays | Love, Trust, and Knowing When to Let Go
In this Therapy Thursdays episode, John answers some of the hardest relationship questions people carry quietly: trust after infidelity, emotional disconnection, fading desire, avoidant partners, honesty that hurts, and the pain of knowing when it may be time to let go.
He explores what it really takes to rebuild trust, why emotional depth matters, what can motivate someone to finally do the work
Turning 53 Made Me Rethink Truth, Love, and What Really Matters
Turning 53 has John reflecting on what actually matters.
In this birthday episode, he shares five revelations shaped by loss, growth, love, and starting over. From losing his house to finding more meaning, joy, and freedom, this is a deeply personal conversation about accepting the truth, living in alignment, and letting life change you. He talks about why growth often feels like loss before it
Dating Smarter, Not Harder with Amy Chan
In this episode, John Kim sits down with relationship expert and author Amy Chan to talk about dating patterns, childhood wounds, grief, commitment, and what it really takes to build healthy love.
Amy shares how the sudden loss of a close friend changed the way she thinks about relationships and why creating core memories with the people you love matters more than convenience. John opens up abo
Is your relationship medicine or addiction?
Love can feel intoxicating. The chemistry, the obsession, the constant thinking about someone, the emotional highs and lows. But just because love feels intense does not mean it is healthy.
In this episode, John Kim explores one of the most important relationship questions you can ask yourself: Is your love acting like a drug, or is it becoming medicine?
He breaks down how love can become someth
Presence, Healing, and a Slower Life with Brooks Wilson
What happens when a city-built life gets interrupted, and something quieter begins to call you in?
In this episode, John Kim sits down with Brooks Wilson for a conversation about nature, nervous system regulation, mindfulness, healing, and what it means to move through life with more intention. Brooks shares what it was like growing up in Tamarindo, Costa Rica before major development, how natu
Therapy Thursdays | Is This Love, Limerence, or Fear?
In this episode of Therapy Thursdays, John responds to listener questions about love, trust, identity, and the emotional patterns that keep us stuck. He explores the difference between real love and limerence, why some people struggle to let love in, and how fear can disguise itself as protection, control, or certainty.
He also gets into the tension between equality and fairness in relationship
How Past Wounds Distort Your Definition of Love
How do childhood wounds, past relationships, and old emotional patterns shape your definition of love?
In this episode, John Kim explores how relationship residue turns into distorted definitions of love. He breaks down how early experiences, family dynamics, unhealthy conflict, self-sacrifice, and internalized pain can create a damaging love blueprint that follows us into adulthood.
John un
Erotica, Aliveness, and the Truth About Desire
In this episode, John sits down for a layered conversation on erotica, desire, safety, and what it really means to feel alive in your life and relationships.
They explore the idea that erotica is not just about sex, but about presence, sensuality, connection, and being fully turned on by your own life instead of moving through it on autopilot. The conversation also unpacks why sex and closeness c
Learning How to Love Well with Robin Ducharme
In this episode, John talks with Robin Ducharme about her new book, Real Love Ready, and the deeper work of learning how to love well. They explore grief, forgiveness, childhood patterns, codependency, and the myths about love that keep people stuck.
Robin shares how losing her twin brother changed her life and why relational literacy may be one of the most important skills we can develop.
If
Rewriting Your Love Blueprint: 3 Exercises to Break Old Relationship Patterns
John explores how many of us are loving from a definition we never consciously chose. From family dynamics to heartbreak and old emotional imprints, he breaks down how our love blueprint gets formed and why it keeps pulling us into familiar patterns.
He also shares three practical homework exercises to help you uncover your current definition of love, identify your relationship patterns, and sepa
Therapy Thursdays | Is This Love, Fear, or the Life You’ve Settled For?
In this episode of Therapy Thursdays, John answers listener questions about love, fear, disconnection, self-worth, and the hard decisions people face when relationships no longer feel clear.
He explores whether situationships can actually work, what happens when intimacy disappears in a long-term marriage, and how to tell if you are staying because of love or simply because fear is keeping you st
What Would Make You Feel More Complete?
In this episode, John reflects on what it means to feel complete and asks a powerful question: what in your life feels unfinished? He explores how so many of us chase worth, peace, and wholeness through achievement, validation, or external circumstances, while the real work may be learning how to feel whole from within.
This is a conversation about unfinished parts of ourselves, living with more
Muscle, Masculinity, and the Search for Self-Worth with Andy Thompson
In this episode, John explores the link between masculinity, exercise, and self-worth, and how many men learn to chase confidence through strength, discipline, and physical ability. An unexpected car incident during the golf cart ride sparks a conversation about masculine fear, community, and the importance of men checking and supporting each other in healthy ways. He reflects on heartbreak, compe
Don’t Fix the Relationship. Rebuild It
John breaks down why “2x love” keeps people stuck in the same patterns, while “10x love” asks for a total redesign. He talks about self-respect, raising your standards, releasing old blueprints, and building a relationship that feels aligned instead of familiar.
If you’ve been trying to fix love without really changing it, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
(00:00) Two X Fixes
(00:25) P
Acupuncture, Healing & Body Wisdom with Kiran K Aulakh
In this episode, John sits down with Kiran K Aulakh, acupuncturist and craniosacral practitioner, for a conversation about healing, sensitivity, and what it means to reconnect with the body.
Kiran shares how jaw pain, anxiety, and restricted self-expression first led her inward, and how that journey eventually became a calling toward acupuncture and the healing arts. Together, she and John explor
Therapy Thursdays | Is This Relationship Fixable?
In this episode, John answers listener questions about attachment wounds, commitment issues, trauma bonds, intrusive thoughts, divorce, and the painful question so many people wrestle with: is this relationship worth fighting for, or is it time to let go?
He explores what actually kills relationships, why healthy love can sometimes feel unfamiliar, how to begin healing avoidant patterns, and what
The Hidden Dynamics of Love and Healing
In this episode, John unpacks relationship truths no one really prepares you for. From missing who you were in a relationship, to being healing and still drawn to old patterns, this conversation explores what love, compatibility, and growth actually look like.
He also breaks down why real compatibility is about more than shared interests, how nervous systems shape relationships, and why steady lo
ADHD, Fight-or-Flight, and the Productivity Trap with Jenna Free
What if ADHD isn’t just about focus… but about a nervous system stuck in survival mode?
Therapist Jenna Free explains why many ADHD brains are living in chronic fight-or-flight—and why productivity tools like planners and to-do lists often fail.
In this episode, Jenna shares how her own late ADHD diagnosis in graduate school led her to rethink everything she was taught about ADHD treatment. Inst
How I’ve Made Women Feel Unsafe
In this episode, I walk through my past relationships and take ownership of the ways I’ve been unsafe.
I share specific moments - steamrolling my ex-wife with logic instead of empathy, making subtle body comments that landed harder than I understood, ending relationships abruptly, and moving on too quickly after a breakup. At the time, I justified a lot of it. Looking back, I see the impact.
I a
Fight Without Fighting: How to Build Real Intimacy
Most of us were never taught how to communicate in relationships.
So we react.
We defend.
We assume.
We build resentment.
In this solo episode, John reframes “communication” as something deeper: intimacy, attunement, and repair.
Because it’s not the conflict that destroys relationships — it’s the lack of repair.
John breaks down how to “fight without fighting,” including:
• Trying to under
Therapy Thursdays | Is It Over… Or Worth Saving?
In this episode, I answer your questions about breakups, expired relationships, and finding the courage to choose yourself.
We talk about how to let go when you’re struggling to accept it’s over, how to know if a relationship is worth saving, and what it really takes to leave. I also break down the real stages of a relationship, advice for your first one, and how to slow yourself down while datin
Turn Your Breakup Into a Breakthrough
A breakup can feel like the end of everything. But what if it’s actually the beginning?
In this episode, John shares a deeply personal reflection on fear, identity, divorce, and what relationships are really meant to do in our lives. Inspired by a nostalgic moment listening to “Borderline” by Madonna, he explores how certain songs — and certain people — instantly transport us back to who we were.
7 Truths That Transform How You Love
Are you tired of just surviving your past, feeling like old wounds dictate your present?
Imagine a life where emotional freedom isn't just a dream, but a daily reality. This video isn't about quick fixes; it's about the radical, yet gentle power of consistent habits to transform your deepest hurts into your greatest strengths.
🎙️ Host Links:
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Ther
Why You Feel Empty Even When You’re Doing Everything Right
What if the thing shaping almost every decision you make is happening quietly — without you realizing it?
John breaks down a powerful idea from psychologist and Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman: there are two selves at play — the experiencing self (who lives life moment-to-moment) and the remembering self (who tells the story and makes most decisions).
When those two don’t agree, you can end u
The Love You Crave vs. The Love That Lasts
In this episode, John sits down with therapist Taune for a wide-ranging, honest conversation about the love lessons that shaped them — and the patterns many of us keep repeating without realizing it.
They explore how chemistry can masquerade as care, why intensity often feels familiar even when it’s unhealthy, and how relationships quietly shift when attraction turns into caretaking. Along the wa
Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy | Boundaries, Breakups & Boredom
In this episode, John answers listener questions about breakups, emotional cheating, boredom in relationships, scarcity mindset, defensiveness, and what it really means to compromise without abandoning yourself.
Why is it harder to let go when things ended “well”? Is emotional cheating still cheating? When do needs become “demands”? And how much space is too much space for an avoidant partner?
T
The Stages of Love (From Fantasy to Real Connection)
Love doesn’t disappear - it changes.
In this episode, John Kim explores the stages of love, from early fantasy to real connection. If you’ve ever questioned the spark, the shift, or the “middle” of a relationship, this will help you understand what’s normal, what’s real, and what’s worth building.
This is a conversation about choosing depth over fantasy - and learning what real love actually ask
What Changes After 40: Love, Selfhood, and What Matters
John sits down in Costa Rica (yes, literally in a golf cart) with two therapists — Vanessa Bennett and Madeleine Downey — for a “therapists are humans too” episode built around questions you’d ask in therapy… that end up turning into real-time revelations about identity after 40, emotional safety, and what we stop tolerating once we’ve lived a little.
This conversation lands especially hard if yo
You’re Not Losing Desire - You’re Rewiring It
Many people reach a confusing moment in their healing journey: they start dating healthier partners… and suddenly desire feels flat. Calm feels boring. Chemistry disappears.
In this solo episode, John Kim breaks down why this happens - and why it doesn’t mean anything is “wrong” with you.If you’ve ever wondered whether you can rewire attraction without forcing yourself into a relationship that do
Relearning How to Feel Joy
What if the hardest part of healing isn’t pain — but joy?
John Kim talks with Dr. MC McDonald about grief, intimacy, self-trust, and the quiet ways we hide when connection feels unsafe. MC shares why joy has been the hardest emotion to let in, and how learning to feel safe again changes everything.
A grounded, human conversation about healing while still figuring it out.
🔗 Guest Links
Dr. MC
HARD THINGS TO BRING UP IN THERAPY | Dating, Distance & Letting Go
Some of the hardest questions we bring into therapy aren’t about what happened — they’re about why it hit so deeply.
In this episode, we explore the quiet, uncomfortable moments many people struggle to name:the anxiety between dates, the sudden loss of attraction, the grief that feels bigger than a divorce, and the confusion of wanting connection while needing boundaries.
These aren’t dramatic r
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