The Angry Therapist Podcast
The Angry Therapist Podcast features raw, unfiltered audio episodes where the host shares personal reflections and confessions, akin to audio journaling. In video episodes, the host answers listener questions on love, dating, and relationships, offering therapy-inspired insights with guests. The show aims to provide real talk and practical tools for building healthy relationships, blending psychobabble-free advice with soul-baring honesty.
Episodes
Re-release: How to Build Relationship Armor
Don’t protect your heart. Protect your relationship.
In this episode, John Kim explores what it really takes to build a
relationship that lasts. After heartbreak, loss, and repeating old
patterns, many people start doing the inner work and realize that
healthy love does not just happen naturally. It has to be built with
intention, ownership, and practice.
John breaks down the idea of “relati
Why Breakups Hurt So Much: Attachment, Grief, and Healing
Why does a breakup feel like more than heartbreak?
In this episode, John Kim explores why breakups can feel like a death, and why that experience is rooted in more than emotion alone. Drawing from neuroscience, attachment theory, and years of therapeutic experience, he explains what happens in the brain after a relationship ends and why healing takes time.
John unpacks the hidden losses tha
Therapy Thursdays: Love, Trust & Difficult Conversations
In this Therapy Thursdays episode, we’re answering listener questions about the messy, tender, and sometimes confusing parts of relationships.
We talk about what it means when someone says “I love you” very early on, how relationships naturally move through different stages, and what to do when the romance starts to fade. We also explore the painful reality of betrayal — including what repair c
Healing Through Joy, Grief, and the Body with Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald
Joy, trauma, grief, healing. What if they’re all connected?
In this conversation, John sits down with Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald to explore what trauma actually does to the nervous system, why joy is more than a fleeting feeling, and how small moments of joy can help us stay grounded through life’s hardest seasons.
They discuss the science behind joy, common misconceptions about trauma, how
When Love Stops Saving the Relationship: Presence, Self-Abandonment, and Starting Over
What if the thing you keep chasing isn’t actually better... just more familiar?
In this solo Q&A episode, John Kim reflects on fantasy, gratitude, emotional presence, and the difference between intensity and real love. From surfing in Costa Rica to answering listener questions about confidence, breakups, infidelity, and self-abandonment in relationships, this episode explores what happens when
How to Expand When Life Narrows You
John Kim explores what it really means to “seek nectar” in everyday life and why tiny moments of beauty, awe, and presence might matter more than we think.
In this solo episode, John reflects on life in Costa Rica, nervous system healing, and the difference between surviving and actually feeling alive. He shares how years of stress and hyper vigilance can train us to scan for danger, and how in
How to Turn Drug-Based Love Into Medicine-Based Love
Love often starts as a drug. But what happens when the high wears off?
In this episode, John Kim explores the difference between “drug-based love” and “medicine-based love,” and why most relationships struggle when chemistry begins to settle. He talks about projection, love addiction, emotional growth, and how real healing begins when relationships stop being a place to escape yourself and beco
Therapy Thursdays | Anxious attachment, Exes & Relationship Myths
In this Therapy Thursdays episode, John answers listener questions about anxious attachment, exes, blame, perfectionism, makeup sex, and relationship myths. He explores how attachment patterns affect your partner, why we sometimes stay mentally connected to an ex, and how to know whether a relationship has real long-term potential.
If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship has legs, why
Re-release: 6 Ways to Love Deeper
In this episode, John explores the different dimensions of intimacy, including emotional, spiritual, mental, passionate, physical, and energy intimacy. He emphasizes the importance of creating a safe space for emotional vulnerability, engaging in meaningful conversations, and practicing empathy and compassion.
🎙️ More about John:
📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the bluepri
Re-release: What to Look for When Choosing to Love Someone
What should you really look for when choosing someone to love?
In this episode, John Kim explores why attraction alone is not enough to build a healthy relationship. He breaks down how instant chemistry can sometimes come from old patterns, why emotional intelligence matters more than intellect, and how self-awareness, consistency, and the ability to create safety are essential in love.
John
I Peed On Myself (And Realized Something Important)
This episode starts with a story about peeing on himself… and somehow turns into a conversation about masculinity, emotional safety, relationships, and rebuilding love after loss.
John records this one off the cuff from a coffee shop in Costa Rica and reflects on the traits he once saw as flaws, the surprising depth that can happen in men’s groups, and a relationship question that’s changing th
How to Build Healthy Love After Emotional Wounds
Some relationship patterns aren’t about the present. They’re about wounds your nervous system learned a long time ago.
In this episode, John Kim breaks down some of the most common emotional wounds people carry into relationships, including abandonment, rejection, betrayal, control, emotional deprivation, and loss of self. He explains how these wounds become patterns, why we react instead of re
Therapy Thursdays: How to know when to stay, repair, or let go
In this Therapy Thursdays episode, we’re answering your questions about dating, attraction, conflict, infidelity, and the messy middle of deciding whether a relationship is worth repairing.
We explore what to look for when you’re dating, how much of your past to share with a partner, and whether physical attraction can grow over time. We also get into the harder questions: why a spouse might be
When Everything Burns Down, You Get to Start Over
In this deeply personal episode, John Kim revisits his story with fresh eyes and new perspective. From divorce and failed screenwriting dreams to becoming a therapist, building a life in Los Angeles, and then losing it all in a fire, he reflects on the defining “act breaks” that reshaped his identity. Now rebuilding in Costa Rica, John explores what it means to live without a blueprint and to desi
Stop Restoring Your Relationship and Start Updating It
In this episode, John explores why trying to bring a relationship back to what itonce was can quietly hold it back. Instead of restoring the past, he reframes love as something that must evolve alongside the people in it, requiring honesty, effort, and a willingness to grow together.
He breaks down how relationships naturally fall out of alignment over time and why that doesn’t mean they’re brok
When Love Feels Like an Addiction
In this vulnerable solo episode, John Kim explores love and sex addiction through the lens of attachment, emotional regulation, childhood wounds, and relationship ruptures. After a painful conflict with his partner, John reflects on how love can become a way to regulate anxiety, emptiness, and the need to feel wanted or chosen. He unpacks the difference between real love and chasing intensity, and
Asian Shame, Childhood Trauma, and the Friendships That Heal Us with Sam Louie
What happens when two men in their 50s look back at the childhood pain that shaped them and realize friendship can be medicine?
John rides in the car with therapist, author, and longtime friend Sam Louie for an honest conversation about Asian shame, childhood trauma, masculinity, and healing. Sam shares what it was like immigrating from Hong Kong, growing up in South Seattle, navigating racism an
Therapy Thursdays | Love, Trust, and Knowing When to Let Go
In this Therapy Thursdays episode, John answers some of the hardest relationship questions people carry quietly: trust after infidelity, emotional disconnection, fading desire, avoidant partners, honesty that hurts, and the pain of knowing when it may be time to let go.
He explores what it really takes to rebuild trust, why emotional depth matters, what can motivate someone to finally do the work
Turning 53 Made Me Rethink Truth, Love, and What Really Matters
Turning 53 has John reflecting on what actually matters.
In this birthday episode, he shares five revelations shaped by loss, growth, love, and starting over. From losing his house to finding more meaning, joy, and freedom, this is a deeply personal conversation about accepting the truth, living in alignment, and letting life change you. He talks about why growth often feels like loss before it
Dating Smarter, Not Harder with Amy Chan
In this episode, John Kim sits down with relationship expert and author Amy Chan to talk about dating patterns, childhood wounds, grief, commitment, and what it really takes to build healthy love.
Amy shares how the sudden loss of a close friend changed the way she thinks about relationships and why creating core memories with the people you love matters more than convenience. John opens up abo
Is your relationship medicine or addiction?
Love can feel intoxicating. The chemistry, the obsession, the constant thinking about someone, the emotional highs and lows. But just because love feels intense does not mean it is healthy.
In this episode, John Kim explores one of the most important relationship questions you can ask yourself: Is your love acting like a drug, or is it becoming medicine?
He breaks down how love can become someth
Presence, Healing, and a Slower Life with Brooks Wilson
What happens when a city-built life gets interrupted, and something quieter begins to call you in?
In this episode, John Kim sits down with Brooks Wilson for a conversation about nature, nervous system regulation, mindfulness, healing, and what it means to move through life with more intention. Brooks shares what it was like growing up in Tamarindo, Costa Rica before major development, how natu
Therapy Thursdays | Is This Love, Limerence, or Fear?
In this episode of Therapy Thursdays, John responds to listener questions about love, trust, identity, and the emotional patterns that keep us stuck. He explores the difference between real love and limerence, why some people struggle to let love in, and how fear can disguise itself as protection, control, or certainty.
He also gets into the tension between equality and fairness in relationship
How Past Wounds Distort Your Definition of Love
How do childhood wounds, past relationships, and old emotional patterns shape your definition of love?
In this episode, John Kim explores how relationship residue turns into distorted definitions of love. He breaks down how early experiences, family dynamics, unhealthy conflict, self-sacrifice, and internalized pain can create a damaging love blueprint that follows us into adulthood.
John un
Erotica, Aliveness, and the Truth About Desire
In this episode, John sits down for a layered conversation on erotica, desire, safety, and what it really means to feel alive in your life and relationships.
They explore the idea that erotica is not just about sex, but about presence, sensuality, connection, and being fully turned on by your own life instead of moving through it on autopilot. The conversation also unpacks why sex and closeness c
Learning How to Love Well with Robin Ducharme
In this episode, John talks with Robin Ducharme about her new book, Real Love Ready, and the deeper work of learning how to love well. They explore grief, forgiveness, childhood patterns, codependency, and the myths about love that keep people stuck.
Robin shares how losing her twin brother changed her life and why relational literacy may be one of the most important skills we can develop.
If
Rewriting Your Love Blueprint: 3 Exercises to Break Old Relationship Patterns
John explores how many of us are loving from a definition we never consciously chose. From family dynamics to heartbreak and old emotional imprints, he breaks down how our love blueprint gets formed and why it keeps pulling us into familiar patterns.
He also shares three practical homework exercises to help you uncover your current definition of love, identify your relationship patterns, and sepa
Therapy Thursdays | Is This Love, Fear, or the Life You’ve Settled For?
In this episode of Therapy Thursdays, John answers listener questions about love, fear, disconnection, self-worth, and the hard decisions people face when relationships no longer feel clear.
He explores whether situationships can actually work, what happens when intimacy disappears in a long-term marriage, and how to tell if you are staying because of love or simply because fear is keeping you st
What Would Make You Feel More Complete?
In this episode, John reflects on what it means to feel complete and asks a powerful question: what in your life feels unfinished? He explores how so many of us chase worth, peace, and wholeness through achievement, validation, or external circumstances, while the real work may be learning how to feel whole from within.
This is a conversation about unfinished parts of ourselves, living with more
Muscle, Masculinity, and the Search for Self-Worth with Andy Thompson
In this episode, John explores the link between masculinity, exercise, and self-worth, and how many men learn to chase confidence through strength, discipline, and physical ability. An unexpected car incident during the golf cart ride sparks a conversation about masculine fear, community, and the importance of men checking and supporting each other in healthy ways. He reflects on heartbreak, compe
Don’t Fix the Relationship. Rebuild It
John breaks down why “2x love” keeps people stuck in the same patterns, while “10x love” asks for a total redesign. He talks about self-respect, raising your standards, releasing old blueprints, and building a relationship that feels aligned instead of familiar.
If you’ve been trying to fix love without really changing it, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
(00:00) Two X Fixes
(00:25) P
Acupuncture, Healing & Body Wisdom with Kiran K Aulakh
In this episode, John sits down with Kiran K Aulakh, acupuncturist and craniosacral practitioner, for a conversation about healing, sensitivity, and what it means to reconnect with the body.
Kiran shares how jaw pain, anxiety, and restricted self-expression first led her inward, and how that journey eventually became a calling toward acupuncture and the healing arts. Together, she and John explor
Therapy Thursdays | Is This Relationship Fixable?
In this episode, John answers listener questions about attachment wounds, commitment issues, trauma bonds, intrusive thoughts, divorce, and the painful question so many people wrestle with: is this relationship worth fighting for, or is it time to let go?
He explores what actually kills relationships, why healthy love can sometimes feel unfamiliar, how to begin healing avoidant patterns, and what
The Hidden Dynamics of Love and Healing
In this episode, John unpacks relationship truths no one really prepares you for. From missing who you were in a relationship, to being healing and still drawn to old patterns, this conversation explores what love, compatibility, and growth actually look like.
He also breaks down why real compatibility is about more than shared interests, how nervous systems shape relationships, and why steady lo
ADHD, Fight-or-Flight, and the Productivity Trap with Jenna Free
What if ADHD isn’t just about focus… but about a nervous system stuck in survival mode?
Therapist Jenna Free explains why many ADHD brains are living in chronic fight-or-flight—and why productivity tools like planners and to-do lists often fail.
In this episode, Jenna shares how her own late ADHD diagnosis in graduate school led her to rethink everything she was taught about ADHD treatment. Inst
How I’ve Made Women Feel Unsafe
In this episode, I walk through my past relationships and take ownership of the ways I’ve been unsafe.
I share specific moments - steamrolling my ex-wife with logic instead of empathy, making subtle body comments that landed harder than I understood, ending relationships abruptly, and moving on too quickly after a breakup. At the time, I justified a lot of it. Looking back, I see the impact.
I a
Fight Without Fighting: How to Build Real Intimacy
Most of us were never taught how to communicate in relationships.
So we react.
We defend.
We assume.
We build resentment.
In this solo episode, John reframes “communication” as something deeper: intimacy, attunement, and repair.
Because it’s not the conflict that destroys relationships — it’s the lack of repair.
John breaks down how to “fight without fighting,” including:
• Trying to under
Therapy Thursdays | Is It Over… Or Worth Saving?
In this episode, I answer your questions about breakups, expired relationships, and finding the courage to choose yourself.
We talk about how to let go when you’re struggling to accept it’s over, how to know if a relationship is worth saving, and what it really takes to leave. I also break down the real stages of a relationship, advice for your first one, and how to slow yourself down while datin
Turn Your Breakup Into a Breakthrough
A breakup can feel like the end of everything. But what if it’s actually the beginning?
In this episode, John shares a deeply personal reflection on fear, identity, divorce, and what relationships are really meant to do in our lives. Inspired by a nostalgic moment listening to “Borderline” by Madonna, he explores how certain songs — and certain people — instantly transport us back to who we were.
7 Truths That Transform How You Love
Are you tired of just surviving your past, feeling like old wounds dictate your present?
Imagine a life where emotional freedom isn't just a dream, but a daily reality. This video isn't about quick fixes; it's about the radical, yet gentle power of consistent habits to transform your deepest hurts into your greatest strengths.
🎙️ Host Links:
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Ther
Why You Feel Empty Even When You’re Doing Everything Right
What if the thing shaping almost every decision you make is happening quietly — without you realizing it?
John breaks down a powerful idea from psychologist and Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman: there are two selves at play — the experiencing self (who lives life moment-to-moment) and the remembering self (who tells the story and makes most decisions).
When those two don’t agree, you can end u
The Love You Crave vs. The Love That Lasts
In this episode, John sits down with therapist Taune for a wide-ranging, honest conversation about the love lessons that shaped them — and the patterns many of us keep repeating without realizing it.
They explore how chemistry can masquerade as care, why intensity often feels familiar even when it’s unhealthy, and how relationships quietly shift when attraction turns into caretaking. Along the wa
Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy | Boundaries, Breakups & Boredom
In this episode, John answers listener questions about breakups, emotional cheating, boredom in relationships, scarcity mindset, defensiveness, and what it really means to compromise without abandoning yourself.
Why is it harder to let go when things ended “well”? Is emotional cheating still cheating? When do needs become “demands”? And how much space is too much space for an avoidant partner?
T
The Stages of Love (From Fantasy to Real Connection)
Love doesn’t disappear - it changes.
In this episode, John Kim explores the stages of love, from early fantasy to real connection. If you’ve ever questioned the spark, the shift, or the “middle” of a relationship, this will help you understand what’s normal, what’s real, and what’s worth building.
This is a conversation about choosing depth over fantasy - and learning what real love actually ask
What Changes After 40: Love, Selfhood, and What Matters
John sits down in Costa Rica (yes, literally in a golf cart) with two therapists — Vanessa Bennett and Madeleine Downey — for a “therapists are humans too” episode built around questions you’d ask in therapy… that end up turning into real-time revelations about identity after 40, emotional safety, and what we stop tolerating once we’ve lived a little.
This conversation lands especially hard if yo
You’re Not Losing Desire - You’re Rewiring It
Many people reach a confusing moment in their healing journey: they start dating healthier partners… and suddenly desire feels flat. Calm feels boring. Chemistry disappears.
In this solo episode, John Kim breaks down why this happens - and why it doesn’t mean anything is “wrong” with you.If you’ve ever wondered whether you can rewire attraction without forcing yourself into a relationship that do
Relearning How to Feel Joy
What if the hardest part of healing isn’t pain — but joy?
John Kim talks with Dr. MC McDonald about grief, intimacy, self-trust, and the quiet ways we hide when connection feels unsafe. MC shares why joy has been the hardest emotion to let in, and how learning to feel safe again changes everything.
A grounded, human conversation about healing while still figuring it out.
🔗 Guest Links
Dr. MC
HARD THINGS TO BRING UP IN THERAPY | Dating, Distance & Letting Go
Some of the hardest questions we bring into therapy aren’t about what happened — they’re about why it hit so deeply.
In this episode, we explore the quiet, uncomfortable moments many people struggle to name:the anxiety between dates, the sudden loss of attraction, the grief that feels bigger than a divorce, and the confusion of wanting connection while needing boundaries.
These aren’t dramatic r
A Small Surf Moment With a Big Relationship Lesson
In this episode, John Kim shares a simple moment from the ocean that became a powerful lesson about relationships and emotional repair.
While learning to surf in Costa Rica, two very different encounters in the water reveal why ruptures are unavoidable—but repair is everything.
One moment of anger leads to disconnection. One moment of acknowledgment leads to instant safety and ease.
John also
Why You'll Never "Figure Life Out" (And Why That's Good News)
What if the problem isn’t that you haven’t found your purpose — but that you’re trying to find something that was never meant to be found?
In this episode, John sits down with Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, co-creators of Designing Your Life, to explore a radically relieving idea:
There is no final version of you.
Instead of chasing meaning, purpose, or fulfillment as a destination, Bill and Dave
Do You Ever Give Too Much in Love?
Do you find yourself giving more, waiting longer, explaining harder — just to keep love alive?
In this episode, John Kim reflects on overgiving, emotional boundaries, and the quiet ways we abandon ourselves in relationships. Recorded in Costa Rica, he uses lessons from surfing to explore why love shouldn’t feel like anxiety, confusion, or constant effort.
Inspired by the idea of “Let Them,” this
You Didn’t Marry the Wrong Person: You’re Just in This Stage
You didn’t marry the wrong person — you’re just in a stage of your relationship.
In this episode, John Kim sits down with attachment expert Thais Gibson to break down the six stages of a relationship — and why so many couples get stuck thinking something is “wrong” when nothing is actually broken.
We talk about:
Why attachment styles are not labels, and how they can be rewired
The differe
Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy | Love, Attachment & When to Let Go
Some of the most important questions we carry are the ones we’re afraid to say out loud — even in therapy.
In this episode, John answers real, vulnerable questions about self-worth, dating, anger, emotional safety, and long-term relationships. These are the thoughts people whisper to themselves at night, hesitate to bring into the room, or feel ashamed for having at all.
This conversation isn’t
Stop Surviving the Fire: Start Living After It
A year ago, on January 7th, my house burned down.
This solo episode is a reflection on what that loss revealed — not just about grief, but about meaning, identity, and the quiet permission to live differently in the second half of life.
I talk about the difference between a house and a home, what it means to lose community, and why starting over isn’t always a failure — sometimes it’s pres
This Conversation Might Change How You Live
In this reflective, unscripted conversation, John Kim speaks with therapist and yoga teacher Daniel Stewart about consciousness, ego, and authentic living.
Daniel shares how a life-altering experience reshaped his relationship with presence, stillness, and inner truth. Together, they explore ego death as a doorway to growth, why slowing down matters, and how conscious awareness transforms the way
12 Powerful Questions to Ask Yourself for 2026
Now that 2026 is here, John Kim shares 12 powerful questions to help you live with more honesty, alignment, and intention this year.
This episode isn’t about fixing yourself — it’s about telling the truth.
About what feels empty.What you’re tolerating.
And what it means to build a life that actually feels honest.
A grounding conversation to return to throughout the year.
🌊 Surf Camp + Wellnes
Unlock Your Code
In this episode of the video course, we explore one of the most powerful concepts in personal transformation: unlocking your inner code.
You’ll learn how your false beliefs, old stories, and disconnected parts of self quietly shape your life — and how to rebuild a stronger, safer inner container that allows you to grow instead of staying stuck.
Through storytelling, real-life examples, and pract
How to Shift Into an Attracting Life
In this lesson, we explore how to move from a life shaped by fear, dread, shame, and survival into a life built on joy, creativity, presence, gratitude, and alignment.
You’ll learn how to pull yourself out of lower frequencies, design a safe life container, and step into an attracting state — where the right people, opportunities, and experiences naturally find you.
This is how you stop forcing
21 Questions You Should Ask Your Therapist with Lair Torrent - PART 2
This episode is about the parts of ourselves we don’t easily name.
In Part 2, we explore unspoken hurt, projection, scarcity, envy, anger, and intimacy — and how these experiences shape the way we show up in relationships and in our work.
We talk honestly about using productivity and helping others as a shield, the lingering fear that success doesn’t erase, and the protective parts we built long
21 Questions You Should Ask Your Therapist with Lair Torrent - PART 1
This episode is about what happens when we slow down and ask the questions that don’t come with neat answers.
In an honest and reflective conversation, we explore the inner world behind the therapist’s role — the places where healing is still unfolding, emotions are still complicated, and vulnerability still matters.
We talk about being seen in relationship, struggling with sadness and anger, th
Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy: What We’re Afraid to Ask
In this episode of Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy, we sit down with the questions people are often too afraid to ask out loud — the ones about love, loss, sex, shame, attachment, boredom, longing, and the quiet fear that maybe something is wrong with us.
From wondering why “healthy love” feels boring after toxicity… to grieving a breakup someone else moved on from too quickly… to asking how o
How Safety Becomes Love: Rewiring Your Nervous System for Connection
In this module, we explore why healthy love can feel unfamiliar — even uncomfortable — when your nervous system is used to chaos or stress. You’ll learn how your brain adapts to emotional environments, why joy can feel out of reach, and how tiny moments of safety can transform your entire relational world.
What you’ll learn:
Why calm love can initially feel “flat”
How repetition compulsi
Why We Repeat Patterns — And How to Heal Through Relationship
In this module of the video course, we explore why we repeat the same relationship patterns — even when we know they’re not good for us — and how understanding your emotional wiring can shift everything.
You’ll learn:
Why familiar relationships feel magnetic (even when they hurt)
How early belonging shapes adult attraction
The difference between healthy excitement and chaos
How to na
Living in Higher Frequency: A Guide to inner Freedom - Part 2
In Part Two of this powerful conversation, John Kim and Shaka Senghor go even deeper into healing, alignment, and the spiritual mechanics of change.
Shaka opens up about:
How alignment shapes everything you attract
What manifestation really is — and what it’s not
Moving from shame into self-respect
How imagination kept him alive in solitary confinement
Daily practices that cultiva
How Shaka Senghor Turned His Life Into a Beacon of Hope - Part 1
In this uplifting and deeply human conversation, John Kim sits with bestselling author and speaker Shaka Senghor to explore healing, forgiveness, purpose, and the power of rewriting your story.
Shaka shares:
What it meant to write a letter to his mother after decades
The journey from incarceration to inner transformation
How forgiveness liberated him more than anger ever could
What m
Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy: The Honest, Human Side of Love.
In this episode, we explore the questions people are often afraid to ask out loud — the confusing, intimate, and deeply human moments that shape our relationships. From wondering if you’ve ever truly been in love, to navigating sticky boundaries, to deciding whether to stay or leave… we’re going there.
We grouped your questions into three core themes to make the conversation grounded, digestible,
Understanding Your Triggers: The Science That Sets You Free
This episode is an excerpt from our video course module on understanding trauma and the nervous system.
In it, we break down trauma in a way that finally makes sense.
You’ll learn why trauma isn’t about the “big event,” but about unbearable emotional experiences without a relational home — and why your brain responds exactly the way it does.
Follow Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald on Instagram HERE
L
“We Felt Abandoned”: Therapists Process the End of SOP
This episode brings together members of John Kim’s Single on Purpose coaching team for an unfiltered, deeply human conversation about what happened when the SOP community was suddenly closed.
These are therapists, coaches, and facilitators — doing therapy on each other — exploring the activation, the grief, the meaning, and the unexpected wounds that surfaced.
You’ll hear them talk about:
Wh
When Your Partner Can’t Meet Your Needs… Do You Stay or Go?
In this module of the video course, we explore what really happens inside relationships when two people are trying — and struggling — to grow.
We talk about emotional language, repair, anger, shutdown, nervous-system responses, and what it means to feel safe with someone for the first time.
Whether you’re navigating conflict, trying to understand your partner better, or learning how to show up w
Going Rogue: The Truth About Becoming Yourself
In this raw, unfiltered reflection, John shares the real story behind going rogue as a therapist — from coffee-shop sessions to walk-and-talks, to breaking every rule therapy school ever taught him.
He explores the lifelong pattern of exchanging truth for membership, the fear of being seen, and the moment one client validated everything he was terrified to try.
This episode dives into authentici
Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy | Stay or Go?
In today’s Q&A, we get into the real questions people ask when they’re standing at the edge of a relationship crossroads. When you’re torn between fear and intuition… when the attraction feels off… when you’re trying to communicate your way through a situationship… when you’re healing but also craving connection… when you don’t know if you’re choosing someone, settling for someone, or staying beca
Why Couples Repeat the SAME Argument (And How To Stop)
Full Video Course HERE
All modules, worksheets, and bonus sessions. This video compiles key moments from the second core module from our relationship course - "How to Fight Without Fighting"
You'll learn:
Why repair looks completely different for each partner
How to ask for (and give) permission to reopen old conversations
What to do when you still feel hurt but your partner has “moved
How We Survived Therapy School (Barely)
In this raw, unfiltered conversation, John & Vanessa reveal the emotional, financial, and spiritual journey of entering — and surviving — the mental health world. From burnout and red tape to awakening and purpose, this episode exposes the hidden side of the therapist pipeline and why so many helpers feel lost, exhausted, or misled.
They share:
Their completely different grad-school experien
The 12 Principles of Secure Love + How to Fight Without Fighting
🎓 Full video course: HERE
All modules, worksheets, and bonus sessions. This video compiles key moments from two core modules from our relationship course:
Module 1 — The 12 Principles: a practical framework for secure-functioning relationships. These aren’t rules to follow perfectly - they’re principles that guide how you show up when things get hard. The real, messy, human version of healthy l
Starting Over at 52: The Day I Chose New Lenses
At 52, John realizes how often we trade our truth for “membership” - relationships, status, the idea of success - and quietly disappear. From a house fire to shaving his head, he reframes love, loss, and identity, arguing that real growth demands new lenses, not old fantasies.
What You’ll Learn:
Why exchanging your truth for acceptance makes you lukewarm
“Corrective love” vs replaying the
Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy | The Map for Messy Honesty
Rapid-fire answers to your biggest honesty hurdles: settling vs.
standards, dating vs. marriage mindset, online dating that respects your time, inviting more sex without pressure, and handling rejection like a grown-up. Short, practical, and therapist-backed.
Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sig
Attachment Trauma Series PART 3: Healing Shame: Why Safe Love Feels Scary with Rebecca Prolman
In this part 3 of our Attachment series, therapist Rebecca Prolman joins John Kim to unpack how childhood misattunement wires shame, why anger isn’t the enemy, and how “emotional completion” helps you reclaim the parts you exiled to survive. They explore corrective relationships (why real safety can feel scary), co-regulation for kids, and practical steps to move from fawning to sovereignty.
Key
Attachment Trauma Series PART 2 - Connection, Attunement & the Love/Sex Split with Rebecca Prolman
John Kim and Rebecca Prolman unpack how childhood attachment wounds and the shame-based adaptations they create - shape adult relationships. They trace core capacities (connection, attunement, trust, autonomy, love/sexuality) and show how co-regulation and healthy boundaries restore intimacy and desire.
Resources mentioned:
NARM (NeuroAffective Relational Model) framework and a 5-module cour
How to Heal From Your Attachment Trauma Series with Rebecca Prolman PART 1
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