Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice helps listeners uncover the stuck spots in their relationships by taking expert advice from three licensed professional counselors and boiling it down into digestible tips and tools. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren help people to see that the first step to connecting with somebody else is by connecting with you. They focus their show on understanding and navigating the cycles that couples face, how to practice individuation, and staying in an emotionally regulated state. Just them each week as they come with a jam packed agenda to help you thrive in your relationships.
Episodes
Relational Injuries
Today we dive into Relational Injuries! Relational injuries come in all kinds of relationships and we will cover what it is, and how it happens. We explore the distinction between relational injuries and typical relationship challenges. And we will teach you how to recognize when a situation escalates to a relational injury.
Once we know what relational injuries are, we will discuss the expectati
What Our Withdrawer Spouse Can Teach Us
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In this episode, we explore what pursuers can learn from withdrawer partners instead of seeing them as the “problem” in the relationship. Withdrawers often bring steadiness, pacing, self-regulation, and a needed reminder that not every issue has to be solved immediately. When pursuers can appreciate these differences, couples can m
How To Treat Trauma
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In this episode, we talk about what trauma treatment actually looks like and why healing is not as simple as “telling the story” or getting the memory out of your brain.
Trauma is not only stored as information. It is often held in the body, in our nervous system, and in the protective responses we learned in order to survive. Bec
How To Know If They Are "The One"
How do you know when someone is truly the person you want to build a life with?
In this episode, we talk about the big question so many people ask in dating: How do I know if they’re “the one”? We share how we each knew with our own partners, then walk through the real-life markers that can help you understand the long-term viability of a relationship.
In this episode, we explore:
Shared va
What Is Trauma?
[2:13 PM]This week on Relationship Advice we dive deep into the definition of trauma and its profound impact on our lives. In this episode, we unravel the essence of trauma, defining it as anything that overwhelms our capacity to cope, persistently leaving unmet needs in its wake. Join us as we explore the lines between the body and trauma, where we experience freezing feelings, securing them in m
How To Stop Jealousy From Sabotaging Your Relationship
Jealousy and envy can feel shameful, but they often reveal important fears, longings, and unmet needs beneath the surface. In this episode, we explore the difference between jealousy, the fear of losing something we already have, and envy, the pain of wanting something we do not feel like we have. We also talk through how to slow these emotions down, bring them to your partner with vulnerability,
Emotional Regulation and Why It’s Important In Relationships: Part 2
In part two of our Emotional Regulation series, we’re talking all about co-regulation — how to regulate with your partner, friend, or someone you trust.While some people naturally want closeness and support when they’re overwhelmed, others need space before they’re ready to connect. In this episode, we break down why both independent regulation and co-regulation matter, how to know what your partn
Connection vs Safety
In this episode, we talk about how couples can use simple “scales” to better understand each other’s energy, desire, and capacity. Instead of assuming what your partner means when they seem tired, anxious, disconnected, or resistant, naming where you are can turn confusion into context. These tools help couples move out of all-or-nothing thinking and into clearer, more generous communication.
M
Emotional Regulation and Why It’s Important In Relationships: Part 1
Today we are discussing what it really means to regulate. You know that feeling when you are suddenly not quite in control of yourself? Maybe your body gets tense, your thoughts start moving fast, your tone shifts, or you feel like you might say or do something you would not normally say or do. That is often a sign that your nervous system is activated and needs support.In this episode, Cayla, Col
Anger in Relationships
Anger can feel disruptive in relationships, but it often shows up for a reason: it signals that something important feels blocked, unfair, or violated. In this episode, we explore how anger can either push partners into blame, shutdown, and disconnection, or help clarify needs, values, and boundaries when it’s expressed with regulation. The goal isn’t to get rid of anger, but to understand it, low
‘You Can’t Do This’ Is NOT A Boundary
If there is one thing to know about boundaries, it is that a boundary is not about what you need somebody else to do. It is about what you are going to do in response to somebody else’s behavior. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren discuss boundaries from a psychotherapeutic lens and give tools for how to better communicate boundaries.
Main Talking Points:
Our bodies are the indicator for when we ne
Withdrawers: When Keeping the Peace Backfires
In this episode, the crew dives into the “withdrawer” role in relationships and how rigid, all-or-nothing responses can quietly create disconnection. They unpack why withdrawers often appease, shut down, or avoid conflict altogether — not because they don’t care, but because disappointing their partner feels intolerable. The conversation explores healthier alternatives to passive or rigid boundari
Before You Pack: The Conversations Every Couple Needs Before Vacation
Vacation stress usually isn’t about the trip itself — it’s about the unspoken expectations couples bring into it. In this episode, the hosts unpack the conversations that can completely change the tone of a vacation before you ever leave the driveway: money, planning, intimacy, parenting, downtime, technology, and more. They explore how different nervous systems, personalities, and expectations ca
Finding Secure Attachment with Trevor Hanson
This week we are joined by Trevor Hanson who shares his personal journey from anxious attachment and relationship struggles to becoming a therapist focused on helping others build secure attachment. He emphasizes that real transformation comes through emotional experiences—not just information—and outlines a structured approach to rewiring attachment patterns. Through practical tools like self-val
Everything That Comes Before Intimacy with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith
What does “true intimacy” actually mean—and why do so many couples feel disconnected even when they love each other? In this episode, we sit down with Matthew Raabsmith and Joanna Raabsmith, relationship experts and co-authors of Building True Intimacy, to unpack the deeper layers of connection most relationships are missing.
We dive into their Intimacy Pyramid™ framework—a powerful model that ex
When To End A Relationship
Ending a relationship is rarely about one big moment—it’s usually a pattern that keeps repeating despite effort, conversations, and growing awareness. This episode explores how to tell the difference between normal relationship challenges that can be worked through and deeper signs of incompatibility or emotional disconnection. We talk about what it looks like when one or both partners stop showin
Don’t Punish the Vulnerability You’ve Been Begging For
This episode explores the common relationship dynamic where one partner struggles to share vulnerably, and when they finally do, they’re met with criticism, correction, or defensiveness. The hosts explain how these responses unintentionally “punish” vulnerability and reinforce shutdown patterns, even when connection is what both partners want. They emphasize playing the long game—creating safety t
Attachment Styles on First Dates (What to Watch For)
This episode explores how attachment styles subtly show up on first dates and what to watch for without overanalyzing every interaction. The hosts emphasize that instead of trying to “screen perfectly,” the real work is understanding your own attachment patterns and how they influence who you’re drawn to. By noticing communication patterns, emotional pacing, and responses to vulnerability, you can
Stop Saying "Calm Down"—Do This Instead
Telling someone to “calm down” usually does the opposite—it makes people feel dismissed, misunderstood, and even more activated. In this episode, the hosts explore why that phrase backfires in moments of anger, anxiety, disappointment, or excitement, and why it often comes from the other person feeling overwhelmed too. They unpack a better approach: co-regulation through validation, steady presenc
The Mental Load in Relationships (Why It Causes Stress)
The mental load in relationships refers to the invisible work of planning, remembering, organizing, and anticipating what needs to happen in a household or family. When one partner carries more of this cognitive responsibility, it can lead to stress, resentment, and the feeling that the other partner assumes things “magically” get done. Couples can reduce conflict by communicating openly about exp
Navigating Friendship Conflict & Changing Friendship
Friendships change as people grow, and those shifts can bring up grief, confusion, frustration, or fear.In this episode, we unpack how growth, life transitions, shifting values, and changing capacity can create tension in friendships, and why our first instinct is often to fix, judge, withdraw, or take it personally. We talk about how asking better questions, staying open instead of defensive, and
Motivation To Change In Relationships
Most relationships start with “I love you, you’re perfect”… and quickly turn into wanting your partner to change. The real problem isn’t usually whether they want to change—it’s that change is rarely A→B; it’s a process that requires understanding barriers, reducing shame, and building support. When couples shift from criticism to curiosity and create small, doable systems together, motivation inc
Emotional Availability
Emotional availability isn’t about feeling emotions loudly or perfectly — it’s about presence, regulation, and the ability to hold space without shutting down or exploding. Our capacity shifts based on stress, attachment history, neurodivergence, and what’s happening in our window of tolerance. Instead of hunting for the “perfectly available” partner, growth starts with understanding your own patt
If I Have To Ask, It Doesn't Count
Why does it feel so disappointing to ask for what you want? In this episode, we unpack the hidden belief that “if I have to ask, it doesn’t count” — and how that mindset turns simple needs (compliments, celebration, affection) into silent resentment. We explore the shame, fear of failure, childhood triggers, and meaning-making underneath it all — and how shifting from mind-reading to curiosity can
One Move To Deescalate Your Next Fight: QUICK ADVICE
Couples Values Construction for 2026
Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.
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Why Everyone Thinks Their Partner Is a Narcissist
When someone says, “I think my partner is a narcissist,” they’re usually not chasing a diagnosis—they’re trying to make sense of a relationship that feels controlling, confusing, and painful. This episode slows it way down and compares narcissism with insecure attachment patterns (pursuer/withdrawer) and neurodivergence, since the impact can look similar even when the why is totally different. The
Behind Every Criticism There Is A Request: QUICK ADVICE
Couples Values Construction for 2026
Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.
Get $100 off Spark My Relationship
14 hours of relationship content
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Psychology of the State of the World
There’s been a wave of major U.S. events stirring up big emotions, and this episode stays out of political commentary to focus on how people psychologically respond—in themselves, in relationships, and online. In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack how nervous-system activation, bias, privilege/positionality, and “defensive attribution” can shape what we believe, how safe we feel, and h
What Makes You Great At Your Job Makes You Suck At Relationships: QUICK ADVICE
Couples Values Construction for 2026
Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.
Get $100 off Spark My Relationship
14 hours of relationship content
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Art of Negotiation with Kwame Christian
Negotiation isn’t a “business skill” — it’s an everyday relationship skill. Today we sit down TED Talk speaker, best-selling author, and podcast host of Negotiate Anything, Kwame Christian. He is recognized as one of the world's top negotiation experts, and he got good at it by treating tough conversations like a learnable muscle (not a personality trait).
He breaks great negotiation down into t
Stop Your Next Fight Dead In It’s Tracks: QUICK ADVICE
Couples Values Construction for 2026
Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.
Get $100 off Spark My Relationship
14 hours of relationship content
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why Your Partner's Body Image Matters More Than You Think - Interview with Samantha Jerome
Body image isn’t just “how you look”—it’s how you feel in your body, and that inner experience can quietly shape conflict, closeness, sex, and day-to-day connection in a relationship. Today, we sit down with Samantha Jerome (registered dietitian nutritionist + certified diabetes educator) reframes “health” as a whole-person process—food, movement, sleep, stress, relationships, creativity—and warns
State Of The World: QUICK ADVICE
Couples Values Construction for 2026
Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.
HOLD ME TIGHT - Workshop Jan 31 and Feb 1, 2026
Join Cayla Bozovich, LPC, EFCT for a jam packed and fun weekend of learning about how to take your relationship back to a 10
Get $100 off Spark My Relationship
14 hours of relationship
The Fourth Pillar Of A Secure Relationship (Reach & Respond)
Reaching and responding is the core interaction that helps couples move out of stuck, negative cycles and back toward connection. A reach is an imperfect, vulnerable sharing from the heart, and a response is a soft, attuned way of catching that vulnerability with empathy and curiosity. When couples practice this repeatedly—especially during repair after conflict—they create safety, deepen understa
Two Date Rule and Testing The Waters In Dating: QUICK ADVICE
Couples Values Construction for 2026
Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.
HOLD ME TIGHT - Workshop Jan 31 and Feb 1, 2026
Join Cayla Bozovich, LPC, EFCT for a jam packed and fun weekend of learning about how to take your relationship back to a 10
Get $100 off Spark My Relationship
14 hours of relationship con
The Third Pillar Of A Secure Relationship (Knowing Your Cycle)
In this episode, we explore what a negative relationship cycle is and why couples get stuck repeating the same patterns during conflict. We explain how protective moves like criticism, shutdown, fixing, or withdrawal are attempts to regain safety—not signs that one partner is “the problem.” Knowing your cycle helps partners slow things down, take accountability for their part, and reduce shame. Th
Safety In Sameness: Quick Advice
Couples Values Construction for 2026
Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.
HOLD ME TIGHT - Workshop Jan 31 and Feb 1, 2026
Join Cayla Bozovich, LPC, EFCT for a jam packed and fun weekend of learning about how to take your relationship back to a 10
Get $100 off Spark My Relationship
14 hours of relationship con
The Second Pillar Of A Secure Relationship (Individuation)
In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla unpack the second pillar of a secure relationship: individuation—the idea that what it’s like to be me is different than what it’s like to be you.
They explore how differences in processing, upbringing, values, and sensory experiences can turn from “cute quirks” into major points of conflict when partners feel right/wrong instead of just different. You’
Marriage 2026: QUICK ADVICE
Couples Values Construction for 2026
Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.
HOLD ME TIGHT - Workshop Jan 31 and Feb 1, 2026
Join Cayla Bozovich, LPC, EFCT for a jam packed and fun weekend of learning about how to take your relationship back to a 10
Get $100 off Spark My Relationship
14 hours of relationship con
The First Pillar of A Secure Relationship (Window of Tolerance)
Window of Tolerance helps explain why one partner often wants to keep talking while the other shuts down, speeds up, or feels totally overwhelmed.
In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack how nervous systems have different thresholds, what it looks like to be inside vs. outside your window, and why both partners are usually dysregulated in conflict—just in opposite ways. You’ll learn ho
How To Fix Disconnection in 2026: QUICK ADVICE
Couples Values Construction for 2026
Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.
HOLD ME TIGHT - Workshop Jan 31 and Feb 1, 2026
Join Cayla Bozovich, LPC, EFCT for a jam packed and fun weekend of learning about how to take your relationship back to a 10
Get $100 off Spark My Relationship
14 hours of relationship content
Starting Fresh: New Year Intentions for a Stronger Relationship
In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla explore why we latch onto birthdays and the New Year as chances to “start fresh,” and why traditional resolutions so often fall flat. They share personal stories about resolutions that worked and didn’t, and offer a more flexible approach rooted in values, season-of-life awareness, and gentle recalibration instead of all-or-nothing goals. You’ll hear prac
Bridging the Gap: Healing Pursuer/Withdrawer Misunderstandings
In this episode, we break down the pursuer–withdrawer dynamic and why partners so often misunderstand each other during conflict. We explore how our nervous systems, personal histories, and internal stories shape the meaning we make of our partner’s behavior. By slowing down and getting curious, couples can interrupt the cycle and create more connection instead of escalating disconnection.
Main T
Are You Enabling Or Helping? And What's The Difference?
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This episode explores the subtle but important difference between caring for someone and caretaking for them — and why crossing that line can create resentment, burnout, or dependency in relationships. The hosts break down how good intention
Why Good People Have Affairs
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This episode explores why affairs happen even among people who genuinely value their relationships and never imagined crossing that line. The hosts break down the emotional, psychological, and relational dynamics that make secrecy, novelty,
How Two Therapists Got Into A Fight and How They Repaired
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Main Talking Points:
Today we dissect a conflict that Colter and Cayla get into. Spoiler alert, it took us a couple of conversations to get back onto the same p
When the Holidays Aren't So Merry
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In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla open up about how the holidays can bring up grief, loneliness, or stress instead of joy. They share personal stories
Managing Your Boundaries with Family Over the Holidays
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The holidays can bring a mix of love, laughter, and a little chaos. In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren talk about what happens when family dynamics, politics, and expectations collide at the dinner table—and how to stay grounded through
People Pleasing and When You Get Invited To Chilli's
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Colter, Cayla, and Lauren explore the roots, costs, and recovery process of people pleasing, highlighting how it often stems from fear of conflict, guilt, or learned conditioning. The hosts discuss the emotional and relational toll—li
Has Psychobabble Infiltrated Our Culture? A conversation with Joe Nucci
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In this episode of Relationship Advice, Colter and Cayla sit down with therapist and author Joe Nucci to unpack themes from his book Psychobabble. They dive into common therapy-related myths—like the idea that “everyone needs therap
How To Navigate Family Drama Part 2 - In Laws
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Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack the tricky dynamics of navigating family drama—especially with in-laws—through relatable stories, humor, and therapy-based insight. They explore how couples often get caught in “who’s right” battles
How To Navigate Family Drama
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In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla unpack the messy reality of family differences—why gatherings can trigger us, how long-held “rules of the game” shape family conflict, and what we can do to stay grounded when things get he
Creating A Positive Cycle
In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren break down how to shift your relationship from reactivity to rhythm by learning to create a positive cycle. You’ll hear the story of Andrea and Marcus—a couple stuck in familiar patterns—who begin transforming conflict through small, intentional changes like naming their stories and taking ownership instead of reacting. From practical tools like “the stor
How To Find Safe Attachment with Jessica Baum
Jessica Baum shares her personal journey through anxiety and depression that led her into studying attachment theory and writing her books. She explains how cultural messages about independence often conflict with our biological need for connection, and how healing happens through safe, consistent relationships. Her work emphasizes the importance of “anchors”—people who can provide presence, safet
Why Can't They Just Get Over It
This episode looks at why your partner might struggle to “just get over” something that feels small to you. Often, their reaction isn’t really about the forgotten text or missed plan—it’s about old wounds from times they felt invisible or unimportant. Instead of brushing it off, the episode shows how empathy and repair can turn these moments into opportunities for deeper connection.
Colter, Cay
How To Love Withdrawers Well
Most people have experienced moments of withdrawal or disconnection in relationships, especially during conflict. For some, these patterns can create misunderstandings and distance. No matter your role in the dynamic—whether pursuer or withdrawer—we can all benefit from deeper connection and greater emotional safety. Listen to today's show to learn how to support your withdrawer partner, foster se
How To Love Pursuers Well
This episode from Relationship Advice, hosts Colter, Lauren, and Cayla lean into the dynamics of pursuer-withdrawer relationships, focusing on how to understand and support pursuers effectively. As part of a broader series on relational dynamics, this episode emphasizes recognizing attachment needs, addressing raw spots, and providing proactive care to build healthier, more connected relationships
What No One Told You Would Change Your Relationship After Having a Baby with Rachel Shepard Ohta
This episode explores how having a baby reshapes a couple’s relationship in ways few anticipate, from sleep deprivation and shifting roles to unexpected emotional triggers. Rachel shares her own experiences of disconnection, especially after her second child, and normalizes the challenges couples face when intimacy and teamwork take a hit. She emphasizes adjusting expectations, understanding tempe
Fear of Rejection
Fear of rejection is one of the biggest hurdles in dating, often holding people back from putting themselves out there or forming deeper connections. In this episode, we unpack where this fear comes from, how it ties into past experiences and self-worth, and why rejection is not as personal as it feels. We also share practical ways to shift your perspective, build resilience, and approach dating w
Fear of Intimacy
This episode unpacks the fear of intimacy—why closeness can feel good yet terrifying at the same time. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren explore how fear of intimacy shows up in subtle and obvious ways, from ghosting and over-picking flaws to struggling with vulnerability in relationships. They also highlight how childhood experiences, trauma, and personal wiring shape this fear, and offer hope that with
Navigating Friendship Conflict
This episode dives into the often-overlooked complexities of friendship conflict and breakups, highlighting that friendships can be just as emotionally significant—and challenging—as romantic relationships. The hosts discuss common causes of tension, from mismatched expectations and life transitions to breaches of trust, unmet needs, and changes in values. They share strategies for addressing disc
Sensory Profiles & Sexual Intimacy w/ Dr. Sarah Anderson
In this episode, Dr. Sarah Anderson returns to explore how sensory processing patterns impact physical and sexual intimacy. The hosts use a creative "readiness for sex" scale to frame how sensory input—like lighting, texture, sound, and smell—can act as either accelerators or brakes for sexual connection. By understanding your own and your partner’s sensory profile, couples can communicate better,
Sensory Profiles & How They Impact Our Relationships w/ Dr. Sarah Anderson
In this episode, Dr. Sarah Anderson, a mental health occupational therapist, joins the hosts to explore how individual sensory profiles affect relationships. They break down the eight sensory systems—including lesser-known ones like interoception and proprioception—and explain how understanding these systems can create more compassion and effective communication between partners. By learning your
How To Support A Loved One
How do you support loved ones during challenging times, such as mental health struggles, medical issues, grief, or addiction? Listen as our hosts explore recognizing signs of struggle, managing emotional reactions like fear or frustration, and offering effective support by combining curiosity, validation, and clear communication.
In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren talk about these topics
When To Bring Up Hard Things
Bringing up hard things in relationships is less about avoiding conflict and more about when and how you do it. In this episode, the hosts explore why timing, emotional state, and environment play a crucial role in whether a tough conversation connects or causes more disconnection.
In this episode, we talk about relationship topics like
- Timing Matters
- Check emotional, mental, and enviro
Sex Therapy Part 2: Sexual Differences Between Men & Women
In this episode of Relationship Advice, guest sex therapist Bryttney Huseas joins the hosts to explore the nuanced and often misunderstood sexual differences between men and women. The conversation addresses cultural scripts, body image, power dynamics, and the distinct ways that men and women often experience desire and arousal. Learn tools for better communication, increased self-awareness, and
Sex Therapy Part 1: Where Do Couples Get Stuck?
In this episode of Relationship Advice, Cayla and Lauren are joined by sex therapist Bryttney Huseas to explore where couples commonly get stuck when it comes to sex. They dive deep into how differing arousal types—spontaneous vs. responsive—create misunderstandings, pressure, and disconnect, often fueled by cultural myths about what sex “should” look like. Offering practical tools for fostering e
The Secret Language of Empathy & How To Use It
Empathy isn’t just a feeling—it’s a skillset, and in this episode, we break down its secret language. From how to stop jumping to advice-giving to what true emotional presence really looks like, we explore the four essential attributes of empathy. If you’ve ever wondered why your support sometimes falls flat—or how to help your partner feel more understood—this episode is your guide to getting out
How To Dismantle Shame
Have you ever felt like something about you was just…wrong? In this episode, we dive deep into the roots of shame—where it comes from, why we all experience it, and how it impacts our relationships in sneaky ways like defensiveness, over-explaining, or shutting down. Unpack the experience of shame, tracing it back to early childhood moments when we first began to believe something was wrong with u
Why We Rush To Solutions & What We Should Do Instead
We often rush to offer solutions when a loved one expresses emotional distress, not because we don't care, but because it's uncomfortable to witness pain—both theirs and our own. While advice and plans may seem helpful, skipping over empathy and validation can make others feel dismissed or misunderstood. In this episode, the hosts unpack why we default to fixing and offer tools to slow down, conne
Knowing How To Name Emotions Will Deepen Your Connection To Yourself And Others
Being able to name and understand your emotions deepens your connection to yourself and improves your ability to connect with others. Language gives shape to emotional experiences, much like how having more words for color can help us better distinguish shades. By learning the core emotions—anger, fear, guilt, and pain—and understanding their physical and relational functions, we gain tools to nav
Making Non-Evil, Generous Assumptions About Our Partner’s Responses
In this episode, examine how our assumptions about our partner's behavior shape the emotional climate of our relationship. Often, we default to interpretations that paint our partner as careless or intentionally hurtful, which leads to defensiveness and distance. By learning to make generous, non-evil assumptions—like believing our partner is overwhelmed rather than selfish—we create more space fo
When Are Needs Implied In A Relationship Vs When Should They Be Made Explicit
Dive into how often people use indirect or protective strategies—like assuming or demanding—when trying to get their relational needs met, and why making needs explicit through vulnerability is both challenging and essential. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren emphasize that even though vulnerable communication is uncomfortable and risky, it’s the most effective way to build connection and avoid misunderst
For When You Feel Disillusioned In Your Relationship
This episode dives into the feeling of disillusionment in long-term relationships—when the connection, ease, or intimacy from the early days starts to fade and partners question what changed. The hosts unpack how this shift is often tied to attachment dynamics, life stressors, and the transition from novelty to responsibility in relationships. Instead of jumping to blame, the episode encourages li
How Much Of Our Intimate Partner Relationships We Should Be Sharing
This episode explores the nuanced question of how much we should share about our intimate relationships with others, highlighting the spectrum between healthy connection and potential boundary violations. The hosts reflect on personal experiences and therapeutic insights to unpack the motivations behind sharing—such as co-regulation, validation, or humor—and examine how factors like upbringing, cu
How To Know When To Call It Quits In A Relationship
In this episode, the hosts unpack the complicated process of knowing when it's time to leave a relationship, highlighting the emotional risks, attachment patterns, and fears of regret that often make the decision so difficult.
They emphasize that while love and good qualities may exist, non-negotiable differences, broken trust, or persistent disconnection can signal it's time to move on. The e
How to Know When To Take A Break in Conflict
In this episode, the hosts illustrate how noticing when you need a break during conflict is essential for maintaining emotional regulation and protecting connection. They highlight how pushing through conflict without pausing can lead to emotional collapse or blow-ups, and how a break should be intentional, involving both calming the body and organizing thoughts before reengaging. The episode emph
How To Handle Different Paces In Emotional Growth
When emotional growth happens at different paces in a relationship, it can create disconnection and frustration. This episode explores how partners can navigate this dynamic by cultivating curiosity, avoiding shame-based interpretations, and validating the complexity of individual growth paths. Rather than rushing to conclusions or trying to control the other, the hosts encourage compassion, open
Why Do My Partner And I Have Different Sex Drives
Explore the common relational challenge of mismatched sex drives in partnerships, emphasizing that differences in sexual desire are normal and often rooted in individual biology, life stage, or emotional dynamics. Rather than seeking a “right” or “normal” amount of sex, the hosts encourage couples to approach the topic with curiosity, vulnerability, and a willingness to understand one another’s ne
What To Do When Your Partner is Still Defensive
In this episode, the hosts explore the emotional complexity of being vulnerable in relationships and not receiving the supportive response we hope for. When partners often respond in protective ways—like shutting down or snapping back—can feel frustrating and disheartening—especially when you’re trying to be vulnerable and connect. Understanding what’s happening under the surface of that defensive
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