The Real Weird Sisters: A Harry Potter Podcast
Two real weird sisters break down the Harry Potter series chapter by chapter and delve into special topics related to the Harry Potter universe. Character studies are released every Monday. Special topics episodes are released periodically. Book club episodes for Chamber of Secrets, Prisoner of Azkaban, Goblet of Fire, Order of the Phoenix, Half-Blood Prince, and Deathly Hallows as well as special topics shows recorded from September 2016 through December 2019 can be listened to on the feed titled The Real Weird Sisters: The Archive.
Episodes
Aunt Muriel: Character Study
Alice and Martha talk about "our" Great Aunt Muriel, the angry flamingo who is still reading everyone for filth at age 107. Though her last name is never mentioned and there's a bit of a Charity Burbage effect with Muriel entering the series at book 6, it's not even worth debating that she's a better aunt than Aunt Marge!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters Ne
One Page at at Time: Book 7, Page 4
Charity Burbage makes her first appearance in the series in an extremely emotional moment for everyone who is attached to her. Plus, Snape shades Yaxley, Voldemort attempts a smile without lips, and a squat man gives a wheezy giggle. Oh, those Death Eaters know how to have fun! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and spec
One Page at at Time: Book 5, Page 142
Another monocle-wearing bombshell has entered the villa! Madam Bones presides over the Wizengamot while Harry stands trial and Dumbledore keeps him in the dark. Plus, Fudge has some interesting word choices, which lead to a better-than-average band/album name selection! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topi
One Page at at Time: Book 4, Page 440
Our Real Weird Queen makes her first appearance on One Page at a Time, and Alice and Martha stand with Parvati and hope she stays, that woman! Malfoy does some sniping, Harry defends Hagrid, and the girls get a chance to bond with the unicorns on the 440th page of Goblet of Fire.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and spe
One Page at at Time: Book 3, Page 384
Follow Alice and Martha up close as they dive into the Dementor's maw, and Harry almost gets his first kiss. On this episode of One Page at a Time, explore dementors' origins and Mary's questionable wardrobe choices for Harry. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t fo
One Page at at Time: Book 4, Page 499
Happy birthday, Shandy and Alicia! That's right, Alice and Martha's second task prediction came true as Harry fights off green-bearded mermen to be a hero. What are the other champions playing at??Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show
One Page at at Time: Book 2, Page 155
Alice and Martha return to One Page at a Time to discuss Ron's arachnophobia origin story and Myrtle's gloomy bathroom. Plus, join the sisters on a deep dive into the history of the teddy bear! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to
Rita Skeeter: Character Study, Part 2
Get out your Quick Quotes Quill! Alice and Martha resume conversation about Rita Skeeter in the fifth, sixth, and seventh books. From her one quality interview of Harry to her remarkably quick 900-page book on Dumbledore, the beetle isn't kept at bay very long! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows
Take Five, Take 6.7: Half-Blood Prince, 30:00-35:00
Special guest Shut Up Tim joins Alice and Martha again to discuss another riveting five minutes! Dumbledore gives an impassioned warning to the students, Rupert Grint tricks Daniel Radcliffe into some actual acting, and McGonagall catches Roger Davies making questionable choices.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and sp
Rita Skeeter: Character Study, Part 1
Alice and Martha discuss everyone's favorite "journalist," Rita Skeeter, as she makes her first appearances of the series. From her coverage of the events at the World Cup to her slander of Hermione, Harry, and Hagrid, Rita makes a splash in the fourth book! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows a
Take Five, Take 6.6: Half-Blood Prince, 25:00-30:00
Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss the minute Tim thought was supposed to be on the last Take Five, as well as the four minutes after that! Draco breaks Harry's nose very convincingly, Luna practices mending bones, and Flitwick doesn't recognize Harry (or does he?). At least that's what we assume happens - no one can be sure because you can't actually see much! Ple
One Page at at Time: Book 1, Page 209
Who is the little old man with Harry's knobbly knees? Why is Harry's entire extended family dead? Does the Lily and James timeline even make sense? Alice and Martha discuss all the important questions about the Mirror of Erised on this week's One Page at a Time!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows
One Page at at Time: Book 3, Page 23
Aunt Marge arrives at the Dursleys, who were damn good to take Harry in! Alice and Martha discuss Dursley family dynamics, Colonel Fubster, Ripper and more on this week's episode! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you
Take Five, Take 6.5: Half-Blood Prince, 20:00-25:00
Alice and Martha return with special guest Shut Up Tim, who definitely understands the concept of five minutes and who takes copious noootes to prepare for each episode! There's some great writing and acting in these five minutes, as well as pygmy puffs, nargles, and Peruvian Instant Darkness powder!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are release
One Page at at Time: Book 1, Page 55
Alice and Martha discuss the first of Hagrid's tales, as he tells Harry the story of Lily and James' murder with some interesting "insights" into what may have happened that night. Get ready for some amazing Hagrid impressions and even though they might have cookies, don't be tempted to go to the dark side! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are
One Page at at Time: Book 6, Page 269
Alice and Martha follow Harry and Dumbledore into a world entirely their own, as Dunderbore - sorry, Dumberton, meets young Tom Riddle for the first time. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Take Five, Take 6.4: Half-Blood Prince, 15:00-20:00
Alice and Martha are once again joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss the next five minutes of Half-Blood Prince. Bellatrix and her real weird Cissy head to Spinner's End to make the Unbreakable Vow, Snape enjoys the summer by connecting with his Muggle roots, and Harry gets a taste of the Weasleys' Wonder Emporium. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsister
Take Five, Take 6.3: Half-Blood Prince, 10:00-15:00
A little less Michael Gambon and a little more Hedwig makes for a slightly better five minutes for Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss this week! Harry makes his way to the Burrow, via side-along (?) apparition. You'd think Mrs. Weasley would know if Harry Potter was in her house, and you'd also think maybe she wouldn't encourage the kids to light random newspapers on fire in t
One Page at at Time: Book 3, Page 371
Sirius dusts off his voice on this week's episode, as Alice and Martha enter the Shrieking Shack (mansion?) to hear all about how Sirius survived and escaped the very realistic Azkaban prison. Plus, Hermione manages not to be annoying, and Lupin enters teacher mode with some excellent classroom management skills.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episode
Take Five, Take 6.2: Half-Blood Prince, 05:00-10:00
Alice, Martha, and SPECIAL GUEST Shut Up Tim discuss the second five minutes of Half-Blood Prince, which sees Harry taking Dumbledore's arm off to Budleigh Babberton, Dumbledore channeling his inner Sanguini, and David Yates quickly turning into David Yikes. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows ar
One Page at at Time: Book 1, Page 8
How very right Alice and Martha were about the first single-digit One Page at a Time! "Jim Dale" gets to do the full narration this week, as Mr. Dursley drifts into an uneasy sleep and the cat on the wall doesn't move an inch (wow!). Dumbledore stomps down the Privet Drive runway, and while we're at it, we may as well do a deep dive into the origins of the street's name! Please consider supporting
One Page at at Time: Book 2, Page 135
Nearly Headless Nick has his 500th Deathday Party upstaged by not only the Headless Hunt, but Myrtle and Peeves as well on this week's One Page at a Time! Find out whether or not Jacob's sibling is a ghost, whether or not Mary would be capable of drawing flying moldy peanuts, and which memes fit perfectly with this week's page! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsis
One Page at at Time: Book 5, Page 602
Firenze comes galloping in to save Divination! Alice and Martha discuss his CGI movie portrayal, the likelihood of teenagers swooning over a centaur, and an "I love magic!" moment on this week's One Page at a Time.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subs
One Page at at Time: Book 4, Page 399
Did a veela send a blast out into the universe? Alice and Martha make some confident (not necessarily correct) assertions about the movie, forget to give a moral of the week, and test out lots of character impressions on this week's One Page at a Time! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are rele
One Page at at Time: Book 6, Page 559
Alice and Martha break down the most fun and hilarious page yet! Dumbledore senses traces of magic in a very mysterious manner, Harry brags about his fitness and his youth, and Voldemort once again fails to realize that physical pain is not the worst thing in the world. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special top
One Page at at Time: Book 1, Page 36
Alice and Martha discuss the Dursleys' initial reactions to his first Hogwarts letter and dive into some interesting canonical lore that may or may not actually explain who is responsible for sending the letters. Hopefully you don't have to silently fight Dudley for a chance to listen at the keyhole to this episode! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New epi
Take Five, Take 6.1: Half-Blood Prince, 00:00-05:00
Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are BACK, baby! They've been reckless in their time off, and so has Harry. This episode is sure to be very pretty, so take our arm and we'll be off! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to
One Page at at Time: Book 3, Page 37
Alice and Martha are back to the third book, and someone's prediction has come true! Stanley (??) makes his first OPAAT appearance as "Neville", who outta read the papers more, finds out that Sirius isn't just a Muggle convict. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t
One Page at at Time: Book 5, Page 291
Malfoy is back to his old tricks of taunting the Gryffindor Quidditch team on this page which sets Ron's tragic Keeper arc into motion. Angelina manages to keep her cool, Harry shows off his athletic prowess, and Pansy takes lessons from Bellatrix. Alice and Martha recap the 291st page of Order of the Phoenix in this week's One Page at a Time! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.
One Page at at Time: Book 6, Page 261
In a rare twist, the pensieve is about to enter a world which is entirely our own, as Caractacus Burke recounts his memory of scamming poor Merope and (possibly) doing more than anyone else to set Voldemort for misery. Alice and Martha recap the 261st page of Half-Blood Prince in this week's One Page at a Time! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes
One Page at at Time: Book 5, Page 764
It's thestral time, baby! Harry, Neville, and Luna show off their thestral expertise while Ron, Hermione, and Ginny stand open-mouthed and staring in confusion. How are they meant to get on these things?? Plus, a OPAAT first, as this page is half GP art!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are rel
One Page at a Time: Book 5, Page 444
It's time for Hagrid's first Care of Magical Creatures lesson for the year! Aided by his disheveled appearance, the ominous Forbidden Forest, and his shrieking cry, Hagrid's classroom management skills have never been better. Alice and Martha also announce this year's real weird March Madness bracket.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are releas
One Page at a Time: Book 7, Page 353
Alice and Martha head back to the seventh book, where Harry and Hermione are about to find out the truth (?) about Dumbledore's friendships with both Grindelwald and "Dogbreath" Doge. Plus, find out if Chuck Knives prevailed and how Zach W. has been confirming his listenership! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and spe
One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 328
Alice and Martha discuss page 328 of book 6 for the second time in a week! It's almost Christmas and Harry and Ron have a lot to discuss after Slughorn's party. Fred and George may be off to the muggle village, but Harry and Ron are the ones learning valuable lessons about hard work and perseverance.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are release
One Page at a Time: Book 3, Page 124
It's back to the Potions classroom this week, as Ron pays the price for sloppy chopping and Draco milks his "injured arm." Snape's just trying his best to be happy, can you blame him for wanting to teach Ron a lesson? (Alice and Martha can). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released period
One Page at a Time: Book 1, Page 223
Alice and Martha return to Sorcerer's Stone for a unique Hermione and Ron POV page. Draco is full of witty jabs, Neville is full of amazing comebacks, and Ron is surprisingly composed. And yes, Snape's refereeing. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subs
One Page at a Time: Book 2, Page 335
Dumbledore's phone is blowing up, Lucius is about to lose his servant, and Harry knows exactly where to look during this important exchange. Alice and Martha break down this surprisingly falling-action page of Chamber of Secrets. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’
One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 628
Alice and Martha return to the Hospital Wing, where the remaining professors (who haven't been murdered like the headmaster) decide what to do with the school, even if there's not a monster in the bowels of the castle.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to
Take Five, Take 4.30: Goblet of Fire, 145:01-THE END
Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim close the book on Mike Newell's magnum opus, discussing the credits of Goblet of Fire. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
One Page at a Time: Book 1, Page 138
This week's episode features Snape's first speaking appearance, both in the books and in the One Page at a Time series. Alice and Martha discuss the wonderful pedagogy behind Snape's Potions lesson as well as Seamus's inherent charisma. Plus, find out which unlikely character is most like a bird!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released ev
One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 63
Something horrible has happened here! This page may not be pretty, but Alice and Martha find plenty to discuss about Slughorn's "murder" scene. Harry plays detective, Slughorn has to have his piano, Dumbledore is five steps ahead of everyone else, as usual. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are
One Page at a Time: Book 7, Page 720
Alice and Martha discuss Dumbledore's Tale at King's Cross. With so much dialogue from Dumbledore, this week is ripe with band an album name options! Plus, find out which MGP illustration would make an excellent Christmas tree topper, Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically.
The 2025 Real Weird Holiday Special
We are back to celebrate the holiday season in the realest and weirdest ways possible. First, Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shandy to simulate a Secret Santa gift exchange with members of the Order of the Phoenix. Secondly (00:30:41), the sisters do a deep dive into all the mentions of the word "Christmas" in the Harry Potter series that do not include the classic Christmas gifts. A
One Page at a Time: Book 3, Page 270
Alice and Martha tell a group of second-year girls about Sirius's break-in - oh wait, that's Ron! From Sirius's ghastly visage to Ron's ability to make him scamper, Ron's tale is sure to impress on this week's One Page at a Time. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’
One Page at a Time: Book 2, Page 177
Harry's arm bones might not be back yet, but Dobby is! On this week's One Page at a Time, Alice and Martha discuss linguistics, magical medicine, house elves, and more. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss
Take Five, Take 4.29: Goblet of Fire, 140:01-145:00
Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back to (nearly) wrap up Goblet of Fire! Some more amazing acting from the trio, including an amazing bounce-back to full spirits from Harry, along with some sentimental goodbyes from the lovely ladies of Beauxbatons and the gentlemen of Durmstrang round out Mike Newell's magnum opus. Don't worry, we'll be back to give the credits their full due on
One Page at a Time: Book 4, Page 617
Alice and Martha return to the fourth book as Harry prepares for the third task. A sweet moment from Ced, a not-so-sweet moment from Amos, and an almost non-existent moment from Mrs. Diggory take up the first half of the page, while Mrs. Weasley's reminiscing about the good ol' days of Ogg and Bill simply being cool take up the second half. Plus, a cameo from Michael Gambon - what more could you a
One Page at a Time: Book 7, Page 288
Alice and Martha continue to strike seventh book gold as they discuss another chapter from "The Goblin's Revenge." Ron's unreasonable and irascible mood dominate this page as the trio discusses all of their deep inside knowledge that could help them track down the horcruxes, including the lightbulb moment that Voldemort was educated at Hogwarts! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreo
One Page at a Time: Book 7, Page 185
Alice and Martha return to the thrilling page sequence in Sirius's bedroom. A shady reference to Muriel, a (Hermione voice) "Harry" and a possible hint of Bucky's presence? What more could we ask for??Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our
Take Five, Take 4.28: Goblet of Fire, 135:01-140:00
Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim discuss the 28th five minutes of Goblet of Fire, which includes the reveal of the real Moody and a special bonding moment over shared scars, all of which is apparently extremely boring to Dumbledore. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released pe
One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 488
Martha gets to practice her singing (and just so you know, she actually can carry a tune, unlike Slughorn) as Harry gets some implied help from Felix following Aragog's burial on this week's episode! Plus, find out which legendary character Odo the Hero is definitely based on and what Slughorn most likely did with the acromantual venom he procured. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.pat
One Page at a Time: Book 7, Page 184
Find out who Bathilda is (unless, like Harry, you've already figured it out), whether or not Godric's Hollow suffers from the Charity Burbage Effect, and why Snape may have a case for a lawsuit on this week's One Page at a Time. Alice and Martha's excitement for returning to the seventh book may or may not have been justified with this page! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.co
One Page at a Time: Book 5, Page 75
Alice and Martha return to Grimmauld Place, where this crucial page includes plenty of dungbomb hilarity and... not much else! Don't worry, though, there are obviously plenty of unique adverbs and even a mention of dear old Crookshanks to keep us afloat! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are r
Xenophilius Lovegood: Character Study
Alice and Martha return to character studies, covering one of the realest weirdos of all time! So, don your sun colors, sit far away from any erumpent horns, and hope that you're one of Fleur's guests so that Viktor doesn't duel you right here and now! Luna will be back any minute with the Freshwater Plimpies...Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes
One Page at a Time: Book 2, Page 297
Lockhart makes his third appearance in the OPAAT series, but will he win Real Weirdo yet again? Alice and Martha discuss page 297 of Chamber of Secrets, where Ginny's body is already lying in the Chamber forever, and the author is abusing adverbs more than ever. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics show
Take Five, Take 4.27: Goblet of Fire, 130:01-135:00
It's finally time for the iconic "MY BOYYYY" moment. Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim reconvene to discuss Harry's amazing acting, Moody's impressive impressions, and... was that the Giant Squid?? Plus, Alice has both a Slumdog Millionaire moment and possibly her dumbest guess of all time (according to Tim) during the Gimme Five. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.co
One Page at a Time: Book 3, Page 421
Alice and Martha head back to Owl Post Again, again! This time, the trio is released from the hospital wing, hardly believing the events of just last night. Was that the Giant Squid??Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure
One Page at a Time: Book 7, Page 303
This week, Alice gets a break from extended Jim Dale narration and Martha does much of the heavy lifting with a classic impression of a real weirdo. Phineas Nigellus Black makes his first appearance on a One Page at a Time episode, as he gives a Quora-like lecture to Harry and "simple girl" Hermione about the limitations of the Hogwarts portraits. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patr
One Page at a Time: Book 5, Page 752
Alice and Martha are back to discuss page 752 of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Hermione practices her improvisation skills and wows with her athletic prowess, while Umbridge falls for pretty obvious manipulation tactics and Harry resists the urge to strangle her. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and speci
One Page at a Time: Book 2, Page 269
When in doubt, follow the spiders to this week's One Page at a Time! Alice and Martha's discussion this week includes analysis of Ron's phobia and awe at Harry's experience with the Forbidden Forest. Plus, Lockhart is positively giddy following Hagrid's apprehension as Slytherin's heir. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monda
One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 388
This week's One Page at a Time takes Alice and Martha to the 388th page of Half-Blood Prince, which takes place in "Birthday Surprises" but doesn't include any actual birthday surprises. Harry obsesses over Malfoy on the Marauder's Map, while Alice and Martha obsess over the feasibility and scale of the map. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes ar
One Page at a Time: Book 5, Page 492
Alice and Martha cover the 492nd page of Order of the Phoenix, on which Harry fears he might be the weapon, the group rides the muggle train, and Mary GrandPre's beautiful, festive art is prominently featured.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe
One Page at a Time: Book 1, Page 304
Alice and Martha discuss the 304th page of Sorcerer's Stone, as Harry gets a handsome, unlikely, and possibly even shady gift from Hagrid, escapes Madam Pomfrey's control, and makes his way to the end of term feast. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to su
One Page at a Time: Book 4, Page 597
Alice and Martha discuss the 597th page of Goblet of Fire, where Dumbledore makes his first significant appearance of the One Page at a Time series as he explains a world which is entirely his own to Harry and Fawkes's presence is heavily implied. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released
Take Five, Take 4.26: Goblet of Fire, 125:01-130:00
Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back to continue discussing the graveyard scene, this time featuring a full-bodied Voldemort and some very shadowy figures. Plus, Harry gets a new job as a spokeperson for a popular fast food restaurant! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are rele
Take Five, Take 4.25: Goblet of Fire, 120:01-125:00
In a surprising twist, Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are almost as excited to discuss this week's five minutes as Cedric was to realize the cup was a portkey! Wormtail casually slices his hand off, Daniel Radcliffe puts on the performance of a lifetime, and "Ralph Vines" transforms from the Embrymort into a full human body complete with prosthetic fingertips. Please consider support
One Page at a Time: Book 4, Page 358
In one of the most Hermione's bag-worthy pages so far, Harry stops Ron from some important personal growth and Hermione bursts into tears at the *boys*! Find out which segment is a bit of a struggle for this page, and work through all of the WW questions with Alice and Martha on this week's One Page at a Time! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes
One Page at a Time: Book 2, Page 120
One of Martha's predictions from last week comes true as Harry finds himself in detention with Lockhart, hearing voices that no one else can hear. Is lilac ink really so strange, and who/what exactly is Gladys Gudgeon? Alice and Martha don't even need Quora to ask the most pressing questins on this week's episode! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episo
One Page at a Time: Book 3, Page 431
Oh, cheer up, listeners! Alice and Martha return to the One Page at a Time series, while the trio returns home for the summer holidays. All on this page: the first sighting of a very tiny owl, an absence of food (especially chocolate), and a few good games of Exploding Snap!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special
Take Five, Take 4.24: Goblet of Fire, 115:01-120:00
It might be the most boring five minutes yet, but that doesn't mean it will be most boring Take Five yet! Alice and Martha are joined once again by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss more of the maze (maize?), the incredibly underwhelming red sparks, and the thrilling discovery Cedric makes upon being transported to the graveyard.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweir
Take Five, Take 4.23: Goblet of Fire, 110:01-115:00
On this Take Five, Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim talk mistakes of epic proportions, voiceover flubs, and the Hogwarts band. It might seem like we're close to the end of the movie now that the third task is beginning, but there's still lots to cover before we reach the goblet, which only Professor Moody knows the exact location of.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon
Fleur Delacour: Character Study, Part 3
Alice and Martha close the book on Fleur, discussing her arc in the seventh book. Fleur may be 'ideous as one of the seven Potters, but don't worry - her beauty is noted in just about every other scene! And it doesn't seem like she minded spending Christmas with Ron and missing out on Celestina's warbling. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are
Take Five, Take 4.22: Goblet of Fire, 105:01-110:00
Hello, Father! Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back to discuss JUNIOR'S race around the courtroom, Karkaroff's dramatics in the cage and the closet, and Dumbledore's pensive monologuing about the Pensieve. You may be surprised by the appearance of Filch on this podcast! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monda
Fleur Delacour: Character Study, Part 2
The characterfleur studies continue, as Alice and Martha discuss Phlegm in the fifth and sixth books. Ol' Fleur Delacour eemproves 'er Eenglish, 'Arry becomes a Fleur apologist, and Bill starts to enjoy his steaks extra rare. We will return with Part 3 to properly eulogize our favorite French character! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are rel
Fleur Delacour: Character Study, Part 1
Alice and Martha return to character studies to discuss everyone's favorite French champion, Fleur Delacour! Hermione might not give her a fair shake, and Ollivander might scoff at her Veela hair wand, but Fleur has a lot of redeeming characteristics, too! At least she's not a leetle boy!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Mond
One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 420
Three of Martha's most infamous characters, plus Harry and Ron convene on this week's page for some very goofy times in the Hospital Wing. Plus, find out what Mary GrandPre has been up to during quarantine! (Don't worry; it doesn't involve Twitter). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are release
One Page at a Time: Book 6, Page 222
In the most somber OPAAT yet, Alice and Martha review recent bad news in the Wizarding World, which is affecting many of Harry's classmates, including Hannah Abbott, a round-faced Hufflepuff student, the Patil twins, and Lavender Brown. Luckily, Harry's memory is up to the task of remembering all the important details he need to successfully analyze his classmates' actions! Please consider support
One Page at a Time: Book 3, Page 334
One Page at a Time returns to Prisoner of Azkaban, this time for a scene in which Sirius acts enormously strangely. Alice and Martha discuss cat, rat, and dog and scrounge for a bird too, of course! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our sh
One Page at a Time: Book 4, Page 231
Alice and Martha discuss page 231 of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Alice gets to practice long-form Jim Dale impressions, Barty Crouch Jr. gets to make some weird decisions as Moody, and Harry's at of defiance has the potential to become a pretty sick meme. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics sh
Take Five, Take 4.21: Goblet of Fire, 100:01-105:00
To discuss this amazing five minutes, Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shut Up Tim! There's plenty of tongue wiggling, MVB contenders, and cringy Hagrid moments to break down this week! Harry even gets to enter a world which is entirely his own. And don't worry, the microwave minutes may be over, but there's a new segment in town! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.c
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