Absolutely No Adventures
Absolutely No Adventures is a fantasy (un)adventure podcast that follows Sig, the owner of Signature Eats bakery, as he aggressively avoids becoming embroiled in any daring quests or chosen one shenanigans even though the universe really seems to want him to do just that. Follow Sig as he chills with his friends and stays far, far away from the slightest whiff of adventure. And bakes. He also bakes.
Episodes
Pre-Season 3 Announcement
Season 3 premieres October 14th, 2026!
Join our Patreon: https://patreon.com/ANAPod
Support us on Kofi: https://ko-fi.com/anapodhttps://ko-fi.com/anapod
Explore Many Sided Media: https://www.manysidedmedia.com/
Presenting: My First Dungeon - Sweet Revenge
This week's feed drop features friend of the show: My First Dungeon!
Perils & Princesses | Ep. 1 - The Dark & Scary Places
Four Princesses rush to the aid of a friend, but things seem darker than ever before…
This season of My First Dungeon is sponsored by Tabletop Bookshelf.
CAST:
Abby Hepworth as Geraldine of Glittering Thicket
Bridgett Jeffries as Winnifred “Winnie” of Golden Fall
S2E11 - SPECIAL Mazed and Confused
In which Sig has a family reunion.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Luxe is Nina Nikolic. Dolph is Chase Noseworthy. The Maze Guardian is Edward Stokes.
Produced and edited by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon
S2E10 - Necessary Evil: 4 - The Greater Good
In which Sibella has a change of heart.
Season 3 of ANA is now crowdfunding: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/absolutely-no-adventures-season-3/x/23915260#/
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
Queen Sibella is Blythe Renay. Prince Casimir is Connor Bushoven. Xander is Justin Nelson. Serene Sorceress Adelaide is Roberta Jackson.
Sound Design by Tal Minear. Theme music by Jakub Żerański.
Transcript: ht
S2E9 - Necessary Evil: 3 - The Lesser Evil
In which Sibella shows school spirit.
Season 3 of ANA is now crowdfunding: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/absolutely-no-adventures-season-3/x/23915260#/
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
Queen Sibella is Blythe Renay. Prince Casimir is Connor Bushoven. Xander is Justin Nelson. Persephone is Emily Zwiefel.
Sound Design by Tal Minear. Theme music by Jakub Żerański.
Transcript: https://anatranscript
S2E8 - Necessary Evil: 2 - Better to Have Hated and Lost
In which Castle Blackthorn has an unwelcome visitor.
Season 3 of ANA is now crowdfunding: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/absolutely-no-adventures-season-3/x/23915260#/
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
Queen Sibella is Blythe Renay. Prince Casimir is Connor Bushoven. Xander is Justin Nelson. Felicity is Michelle Kelly.
Sound Design by Tal Minear. Theme music by Jakub Żerański.
Transcript: https:/
S2E7 - Necessary Evil: 1 - The Liar, the Witch, and the Warning
In which old curses are relitigated.
Season 3 of ANA is now crowdfunding: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/absolutely-no-adventures-season-3/x/23915260#/
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
Queen Sibella is Blythe Renay. Prince Casimir is Connor Bushoven. Xander is Justin Nelson. Serene Sorceress Adelaide is Roberta Jackson.
Sound Design by Tal Minear. Theme music by Jakub Żerański.
Transcript: https
ANA Season 3 Crowdfunding!
Use the link below to check out the Indiegogo for Season 3 which features perks such as a TTRPG one-shot set in Hexwell, the ability to name a character, and early access to a brand new ANA special which has been exclusively announced on the campaign page!
http://igg.me/at/anas3
Support us on Kofi!
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our Bluesky, @noadventurespod.
Presenting: Hearthbound
This week's feed drop features friend of the show: Hearthbound!
For more information, check out https://www.hearthboundpod.com/
Transcript: https://www.hearthboundpod.com/episodes/trailer
ALSO, ANA Presents: Necessary Evil starts October 7th!
Presenting: Residents of Proserpina Park
This week's feed drop features friend of the show: Residents of Proserpina Park!
Residents of Proserpina Park is a monster of the week fiction podcast focusing on mythology. Learn about creatures you’ve never heard of before and follow this crazy gang and their pet dog alien to solve the mystery of the park.
For more information, check out https://residentsofproserpinapark.com/
Presenting: Warlock
This week's feed drop features friend of the show: Warlock!
Warlock Episode 3 - Meet Briar: Rose or Thorn?
Warlock is a fantasy audio drama with an anime twist following the adventures of Nova, a young woman who dreams of being a powerful sorcerer, but born without magic. That all changes when she strikes a bargain with a mysterious woman and her life changes...forever.
For more information,
ANA Presents: Necessary Evil - Teaser Trailer
In which Sibella has an audience with a prisoner.
Necessary Evil is a miniseries set in the world of Absolutely No Adventures. It follows evil queen Sibella in her downtime between magic battles and running her seized kingdom.
Episode One will premiere in the Fall. Be on the lookout for an official release date announcement!
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Sibella is Blythe Renay.
Presenting: The Bardic Hearth
This week's feed drop features friend of the show: The Bardic Hearth!
The link to their Youtube page is here: https://www.youtube.com/@ChaseNoseworthy
The link to their Patreon is here: https://www.patreon.com/thebardichearth
The link to their Buzzsprout is here: https://thebardichearth.buzzsprout.com/
ALSO, be on the lookout for a promo for a new Absolutely No Adventures miniseries coming s
S2E6 - 2.6 Mightier Than The Sword
In which a problem is resolved.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Briar Zachary is Queen Isadora. Sterling is Jack Malban. Morrigan is Katie Marie. Sunny is Dylan Duck. Princess Delphine is Sneha Kumar.
Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitte
S2E5 - 2.5 Role Call
In which Sig, Bea, and Happy get to know each other better.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas.
Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
S2E4 - 2.4 Can't Stand the Heat
In which Sig, Bea, and Happy see double.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Queen Isadora is Briar Zachary. Sterling is Jack Malban. Morrigan is Katie Marie. Sunny is Dylan Duck. Queen Marigold is Sarah Griffin.
Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on ou
S2E3 - 2.3 Sweet Dreams
In which Sig has a good day!
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Oliver is Andrew Oakes.
Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
S2E2 - 2.2 Failed It!
In which a prophecy is revealed.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Sterling is Jack Malban.
Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
S2E1 - 2.1 A Familiar Feeling
In which Sig has some after hours visitors.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Princess Delphine is Sneha Kumar.
Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
Presenting: Welcome to the Brass Eagle
This week's feed drop features friend of the show: Welcome to the Brass Eagle!
The link to their crowdfunding page is here: bit.ly/brasseaglepod
The link to their Instagram page is here: https://www.instagram.com/brasseaglepod/
Transcript: http://tiny.cc/wttbe
ALSO, Absolutely No Adventures Season 2 starts October 14th!
Presenting: Dragon's Rest
This week we're featuring friend of the show: Dragon's Rest!
The link to their Instagram page is here: https://www.instagram.com/dragonsrestshow/
Listen to more Dragon's Rest at: https://www.dragonsrestshow.com/
Transcript: https://www.dragonsrestshow.com/transcript-s01e01
Look out for Dragon's Rest Bonus Content coming soon.
ALSO, Absolutely No Adventures Season 2 starts October
Presenting: Inn Between
This week we're featuring friend of the show: Inn Between!
The link to their crowdfunding page is here: crowdfundr.com/innbetween5
Listen to more Inn Between at: https://www.thegoblinshead.com/
Transcript: http://tiny.cc/goblinshead
S1E11 - SPECIAL Let Them Eat Wedding Cake
In which Sig, Bea, and Happy bake a cake.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Lady Isadora is Briar Zachary. Queen Marigold is Sarah Griffin. Ana is Georgia McCall. Parker is Kaylie Horowitz. Balefic is Sumara Meers. Timor is Andrew Oakes. Luxe is Nina Nikolic.
Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carr
S1E10 - 1.10 Something New
In which things come full circle.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Lady Isadora is Briar Zachary.
Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
S1E9 - 1.9 Last Action Hero
In which letters are read.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas.
Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
S1E8 - 1.8 Something Im-portent
In which Sig is understandably concerned.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas.
Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
S1E7 - 1.7 What The Cat Dragged In
In which Bea's services are required.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Oliver is Andrew Oakes.
Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
S1E6 - 1.6 Post Mortem
In which Sig receives some mail.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Luxe is Nina Nikolic.
Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
S1E5 - 1.5 Vampire Weekend
In which Sig, Bea, and Happy celebrate a holiday.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas.
Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
S1E4 - 1.4 Happy Days
In which Happy has a visitor.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Terri is Demitra Papadinis.
Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
S1E3 - 1.3 Admission Impossible
In which Sig is given an offer he very much can refuse.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Oliver is Andrew Oakes.
Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
S1E2 - 1.2 Wicked Lost
In which a traveler from far away has an interesting to-do list.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas.
Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
S1E1 - 1.1 The Sword In The Sheath
In which Sig tries to get a sword out of his bakery.
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Lady Isadora is Briar Zachary.
Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Learn more at https://noadventurespod.com or on our twitter, @noadventurespod.
Support us on Patreon or Kofi!
ANA - Teaser Trailer
In which the gang tries to shoot a promo.
Absolutely No Adventures is a fantasy-(un)adventure audio drama podcast about dodging quests, hanging out with friends, and eating tons of baked goods as the apocalypse happens in the background.
Episode One premieres October 14th.
Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/
Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. The Knight i
