Frontline Fifth
A read-along podcast where brand-spanking-new novitiates explore the Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir while a couple of dried-out bone witches cackle over how little they really know. The first half of each episode is safe for new readers, covering a few chapters per week. The second half is a labyrinth of spoilers, where Marie and Hannah discuss fan theories, conspiracies, and big picture ideas.
Episodes
NtN Chapter 31, 32, & Epilogue - “The Vow”
SPOILER SECTION: Marie sounds like she recorded on a potato (sorry) and ALLLL the bone witches can go ham on spoilers! There is no safe section!
Join us next week to read "The Unwanted Guest" but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you know, ghosts.
Content warning: This episode contains bones, blood, smut and s
NtN Chapter John 5:4 & Chapter 30 - “To Love God”
SAFETY WARNING: There is heavy talk about mental health this episode. Proceed with caution, and if you need to talk to someone, help is available 24/7 in the US by dialing or texting 988.
SAFE SECTION: We almost talk ourselves into reading the Bible for the Alectopause (we won't); we all agree that Jod is a POS; Noodle is in the back; we all agree to launch immunologists into the sun.
SPOILER SEC
NtN Chapter 28 & 29 - “Something Very Nearly Perfect”
SAFE SECTION: Marie is a hater (we get it, but enough already), and we celebrate by giving gifts.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah knows (and fears) what the message is.
Please note - we probably have some slip ups misgendering a new character - it is not malicious or intentional, and we do get better.
Join us next week as we draw the Tower in Nona the Ninth John 5:4 and Chapter 30 but til then, stay sa
NtN Chapter 26, 27, & John 1:20 - “Now, the Deluge” SPOILER
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah look for the FTL ships and try on different names for G-.
Join us next week to find something very nearly perfect in Nona the Ninth Chapters 28 and 29 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you know, ghosts.
Content warning: This episode contains bones, blood, smut and swear wor
NtN Chapter 26, 27, & John 1:20 - “Now, the Deluge” SAFE
SAFE SECTION: Marie starts a cult, Brooke's heart broke five times, Hannah has goose bumps, and John will be writing a song called "Celestial Piece of Sh!t." Also, we are impossible to keep on task, topic, or focus this episode. Enjoy!
Join us next week to find something very nearly perfect in Nona the Ninth Chapters 28 and 29 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock
NtN Chapter 24 & 25 - “"You F*cking Legend"
SAFE SECTION: We all think about defending Judith Deuteros and learn about the saddest girl in the world; John dibs a few band names; Marie, Hannah, and Brooke give an impromptu biology lesson; and Brooke and John do some soul math.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah do their own soul math and go searching for bodies while being insufferable pedants.
Join us next week to seek out some old friends
NtN Chapter 22 & 23 - “Die Quick, Die Cold, Bring 'Em With You”
SAFETY WARNING: There is a lot of talk these chapters and this episode about self-harm. Proceed with caution, and if you need to talk to someone, help is available 24/7 in the US by dialing or texting 988.
SAFE SECTION: John is the bad cheese, and we all(?) strap on our swords and play our most depressing game to date.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie speculate about what speculating with the ne
Sorry and Quick Announcement 4/27/26
Act None- Sorry penitents!
There has been a small delay. Please stay tuned. We are definitely back next week, and if you say some solid 9th House prayers, perhaps before then. Love you, bye!
NtN Chapter 21 & John 9:22 - “My Friend had Stipulations Once, but the Teacher Put a Cream on It”
SAFE SECTION: We come up with the absolute worst code words, but the best shows about the extras. Brooke and John muse about a "throuple" soul, while John searches for the center of the donut.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah muse about souls and identities, and our hopes for Alecto.
Join us next week to get in one last duel in Nona the Ninth Chapters 22 & 23, but til then, stay safe my Nin
NtN Chapter 19, John 3:20, and Chapter 20 - “Blood of Eden is Quite Impressed by Blood and Guts”
SAFE SECTION: Brooke and John are too sweet and innocent to throw a proper tantrum, but they do get enthusiastic about recipes for human flesh.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah muse about tantrums, dreams, and dogs.
Join us next week to make a deal in Nona the Ninth Chapter 21 and John 9:22 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without
NtN Chapter 17, 18, & John 5:1 - “The Worst Day of School Ever”
SAFE SECTION: John promises "unholy vengeance" upon Marie and Hannah, we all get morose over Cam and Pal's recordings, and we show how much tact we can show in impossible situations.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah talk yet again about Cam and Pal, and Marie doesn't try (and succeeds?) to convince to Hannah about how Pash is an interesting and really cool character.
Join us next week to have
NtN Chapter 16 and John 19:18 - “It’s Zombies, They’re Back! Holy Sh*t!”
SAFE SECTION: We go evo-devo on Noodle's arboreal legs, learn about cows, try to remember English history, and Marie is an insufferable know-it-all about cows.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah speculate about John, the nun, and the Angel.
Join us in TWO WEEKS to listen to other people’s messages in Nona the Ninth Chapters 17, 18, and John 5:1, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember
NtN Chapter 15 & John 8:1 - “A Shanty Town and an International Controversy”
SAFE SECTION: Oh boy. We end up spiraling about capitalism.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie have yet another deep conversation about what love is, and what it is not.
Join us next week to sneak away to explore Nona the Ninth Chapter 16 and John 19:18 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you know, ghosts.
C
NtN Chapter 13 & 14 - “I Like My Prison Cells More Obvious”
SAFE SECTION: We all peg each others' types in this week's game, and then Brooke and John are off and running into completely unhinged theoryland.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah get deep and philosophical thinking about what Crown really wants.
Pull up next week in the car with the grille in Chapter 15 and John 8:1, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs
NtN Chapter 11 & 12 - “The Clock Starts”
SAFE SECTION: So many memes! A long conversation about holobionts! John hopped up on caffeine and pacing! This episode has it all!
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie talk about everyone's secrets and Marie almost convinces Hannah that two thigh machetes isn't terrible (or is terrible, but is at least interesting).
Join us next week to stop in on an old friend in Chapters 13 and 14 but til then,
NtN Chapter 10 and John 5:18- “False Labour Pains”
SAFE SECTION: Marie develops a Mithraeum perfume. (Fun fact - you can find out what space smells like for yourself! Here on Earth! And heck, while we are linking things, here is a good article.) We explain NFTs to John (not really, but it sounds funnier that way). Honestly, so many tangents.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie examine necro/cav relationships.
Join us next week to hear what is sex
NtN John 15:23 and Chapter 9 - “Regret and Self-Hatred and Sea Water”
SAFE SECTION: Brooke is an enchilada, John sweeps around his house in a cloak, we learn that Nona is good at making SMART goals.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah has questions about eyes, and Marie rants about dogs.
Join us next week to keep Camilla home in Chapter 10 and John 5:18, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because
NtN Chapter 7 & 8 - “Domestic Life is Immensely Depressing”
SAFE SECTION: The gang wants to know your opinions about oatmeal cookies, and then Brooke will explain her elaborate plan to steal restaurant dishes, John confesses to eating a stick of butter, and everyone except John is insufferable about PhDs.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie are obsessed with Pyrrha.
Join us next week to watch us move some hands in Chapters 9, 10, and John 15:23 but til the
NtN Chapter 5, 6, & John 5:20 - “Being Unexpectedly Loved”
SAFE SECTION: We all compare notes on our daily ablutions and tell each other bedtime stories, John convinces Brooke of Crown's identity, and Brooke and John decide they know who Nona is.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah spend a lot of time talking about Pyrrha and picking apart Cam's bedtime story.
Next week, wake up with a wet sponge to the face in Chapters 7 and 8 but til then, stay safe m
NtN Chapter 2, 3, & 4 - “Good-looking and Dumb”
SAFE SECTION: Brooke and John are still frustrated, and getting used to a different pacing.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah talk about names and puzzle through chapter icons.
Join us next week to hear a bedtime story in Chapters 5, 6, and John 5:20 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you know, ghosts.
Cont
NtN John 20:8 and Chapter 1 - “Wannabe Heroes and Hairy Dogs”
SAFE SECTION: We all spend way too long reminiscing about the birth of the internet until we fall into an abyss of cringe. John is exasperated, Brooke is flabbergasted, Marie is enjoying this all too much, and Hannah continues to be the mastermind.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie compare notes with the newbies nascent theories.
Join us next week to hear about gang initiation in Chapters 2, 3 &
NtN Teaser - “Sleep, I’ll Wake You In the Morning”
Surprise! We are benevolent bone witches, and so we interrupt your longing with a leetle teaser episode. We all talk about the Dramatis Personae and new poem in Nona the Ninth, and then you can listen to Brooke and John as they give their live reactions to the first chapter in Nona the Ninth.
Join us next year when we meet Nona for real, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to
Season 2 Interstitial: Oops, All Games
SAFE SECTION: Kara, the Mastermind of Bone Island and other quality content, joins the cast to play a succession of exceedingly silly games.
Find Kara on TikTok, or listen to Lesbians are Brutal wherever you get your podcasts!
Join us in January when we start Nona the Ninth next season! You can tide yourself over with bonus content on our Patreon, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and reme
SPOILER Season 2 Interstitial: Do Fans Have Hinges?
SPOILER SECTION: Lizzi joins the bone witches as they go into RAMPANT SPECULATION land and trade their most favorite and close-held theories.
Follow Lizzi on TikTok or Tumblr!
Join us next week to hear a special games episode with guest star Kara but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you know, ghosts.
Content w
SAFE Season 2 Interstitial: Do Fans Have Hinges?
SAFE SECTION: Lizzi joins the bone witches and newbies to rate fan theories by their level of unhinged on a scale of Brooke to John.
Follow Lizzi on TikTok or Tumblr!
Join us next week to hear a special games episode with guest star Kara but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you know, ghosts.
Content warning:
Season 2 Interstitial: Much Wanted Guests
SPOILER SECTION: This episode contains series spoilers through Nona the Ninth!
Recurring guest stars Sonia and Josh join Hannah and Marie for a performance in the theater of the absurd as we discuss the short story "The Unwanted Guest."
Join us next week for an episode of Fan Theories and Rampant Speculation! with special guest of niche-fandom TikTok fame, Lizzi! but til then, stay safe my Ninth n
Season 2 Interstitial: “As Yet Still Unsent”
This episode is SAFE for anyone who has read Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, The Mysterious Study of Dr. Sex, and As Yet Unsent.
Update: John has said a decent number of dumb things in the history of this podcast, but nothing has been dumber and more terrible than his take on shipping. He has since seen the light and begs your forgiveness. Thank you.
In this episode, Brooke and John delve int
HtN Wrap Up - “Dying is for Suckers”
SAFE SECTION: We contemplate past Brooke and John's preseason predictionsm return to FMKR, and let the newly budded Lyctors rampantly speculate on who Nona might be.
Join us next week when Brooke and John read "As Yet Unsent" and to enjoy the return of MUCH WANTED GUESTS, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because,
Sanitized SPOILERS for HtN Episodes 12-19
SPOILER SECTION: Have you been reading along for the first time with Brooke and John, and you've been dying to know what Marie and Hannah talk about behind that spoiler warning? Now is your chance! These spoilers are safe for anyone who has read Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, The Mysterious Study of Dr. Sex, and As Yet Unsent.
Content warning: This episode contains bones, blood, smut and swe
Sanitized SPOILERS for HtN Episodes 11-15
SPOILER SECTION: Have you been reading along for the first time with Brooke and John, and you've been dying to know what Marie and Hannah talk about behind that spoiler warning? Now is your chance! These spoilers are safe for anyone who has read Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, The Mysterious Study of Dr. Sex, and As Yet Unsent.
Join us THURSDAY to hear more sanitized SPOILERS but til then, sta
Sanitized SPOILERS for HtN Episodes 6-10
SPOILER SECTION: Have you been reading along for the first time with Brooke and John, and you've been dying to know what Marie and Hannah talk about behind that spoiler warning? Now is your chance! These spoilers are safe for anyone who has read Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, The Mysterious Study of Dr. Sex, and As Yet Unsent.
Join us next week to hear more sanitized SPOILERS but til then, st
Sanitized SPOILERS for HtN Episodes 1-5
SPOILER SECTION: Have you been reading along for the first time with Brooke and John, and you've been dying to know what Marie and Hannah talk about behind that spoiler warning? Now is your chance! These spoilers are safe for anyone who has read Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, The Mysterious Study of Dr. Sex, and As Yet Unsent.
Join us THURSDAY to hear more sanitized SPOILERS but til then, sta
HtN Chapter 52, 53, & Epilogue - “Not Yet”
SAFE SECTION: Brooke and John end the books with a collective groan of dissatisfaction while the bone witches cackle with glee, and spend a good amount of time in truly reckless speculation, trying to predict what Nona the Ninth might have in store for them.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie continue to cackle with glee, make some soul maps, and contemplate just how frustrated the newbies will be
SPOILERS: HtN Chapter 50 & 51
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie spend more than 2% of the time snickering at n00b speculation, but also a good amount of time in their own reckless speculation
Join us next week when John and Brooke pick sides in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 52, 53, and the Epilogue. That’s right! Next week we are finishing Harrow the Ninth! Til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs
HtN Chapter 50 & 51 - "Genuinely Sad, Bordering on Very Funny"
We were veeery chatty this week so in this (only) SAFE SECTION: Brooke asks whose sunglasses were those to begin with, John asks if it counts as a god complex if you are actually god, and Hannah and Marie ask the infants how they are making these insane predictions.
Join us next week to hear John and Brooke pick sides in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 52, 53, and the Epilogue. That’s right! Next week
Insert Bernie Meme Here
HtN Chapter 48 & 49 - “Love is a Revenant”
SAFE SECTION: We all collapse into giggles multiple times over John's puns and Tamsyn's Ianthe/Gideon buddy cop routine, and we plan our next foray into the Bone Zone Media Universe.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie collapse into giggles over Brooke and John's rampant speculation.
Join us next week to confront God in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 50 and 51, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros,
HtN Chapter 44-47 - “Sick of Roses and Horny for Revenge”
SAFE SECTION: No one appreciates John's comedic genius, Brooke is very unhappy about pincers, we all make monsters worse than the worst bees.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah spill the beans on the Bone Zone Media cinematic universe.
Join us next week to call up some ghosts in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 48 and 49 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or ente
HtN Chapter 40-43 - “Absolutely Not”
SAFE SECTION: Brooke and John get some answers, but not enough for their liking, and everyone collaborates on their own Locked Tomb Alternate Universe.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah keep it short and sweet, contemplating just how many ghosts one person could possibly be haunted by.
Join us next week to keep the lights on in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 44-47, but til then, stay safe my Ninth ne
HtN Chapter 38,39,& Epiparados - “What It Is To Be Fractured”
SAFE SECTION: John and Brooke have a lot of puzzle pieces but still don't know what puzzle they are working on, and we all examine each others heads in the game section.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah discuss awesome fan theories and new merch drops.
Join us on August 18 to explore some alternate explanations in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 40-43 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and rememb
HtN Chapter 35-37 - “Into the River With Us, Boys!”
SAFE SECTION: We ponder "none houses, left grief" for a very long time, Brooke admits to her competitive streak, John makes plans for the Bone Zone Media Group, Marie always cheats, and Hannah builds an acid jail so cruel she requested it be redacted, and everyone should watch the Mercymorn art critique animatic.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah talk about more topics that have to be redacted a
HtN Chapter 32-34 - "Kill Us Twice, Shame on God"
SAFE SECTION: We celebrate Brooke's prescience, John exponentially expands the murder board, Hannah quotes Keats or Yeats or something, and Marie unconsciously gives up a lot about her reading habits.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie pick apart John's murder board and get into the timey wimey stuff.
Join us next week to to start preparing for the Resurrection Beast in earnest in Harrow the Nint
Quick Announcement
Ahem... see you tomorrow!
HtN Chapter 30&31- “Dios Apate Minor”
SAFE SECTION: The gang see an ancient distraction method play out, and make a...proclamation?
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie pick apart the babes rampant speculation, and get live updates from John
Join us next week to meet some old friends in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 32-34, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, bec
HtN Chapter 27-29 - "A Once in a Lifetime Genius, An Insane Imbecile, Or Both"
SAFE SECTION: Hannah reveals her ovine work environment, Brooke and Marie disagree over who is the genius and who is the imbecile, but either way agree they are once-in-a-lifetime, and John explains Superman while everyone agrees that the concept of distracting God is... odd and mattress stores are fronts for money laundering.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie decrypt a cryptic note.
Join us ne
HtN Chapter 23-26 - “You Make Soup”
SAFE SECTION: Brooke illustrates the utility of writing down your own thoughts, John praises the advantages of necromancy for cooking, and everyone discusses the merits of cannibalism.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie kicks John off the pod and Hannah remains totally pro-cannibalism.
Join us next week to wake up in Ianthe’s bed (meow) in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 27-29 but til then, stay safe my Ninth nec
HtN Chapters 19-22 - “Oh, Then He Just Wants You Dead”
SAFE SECTION: Brooke finally gets frustrated about Meanwhile Back at Canaan House, John is the Saint of Vexation, and no one is able pronounce anything.
SPOILER SECTION: After some truly beautiful on the fly theory crafting, Marie crashes out over still not being able to speak, while Hannah, as per usual, comes prepared with all of the notes to dissect the poem Annabel Lee.
Join us next week to he
HtN Chapter 16,17, &18 - “At Least We Suffer Together”
SAFE SECTION: John drops video game lore, Brooke is in full gardening mode, Marie is easy to insult, and Hannah cheats.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah consider everyone's motives, and remain confused.
Join us next week to become intimately familiar with the Saint of Duty in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 19-22, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter an
HtN Chapter 12-15 - “No Ghosts But Your Own”
SAFE SECTION: John calculates the half-life of uranium while Brooke contemplates joie de vivre and everyone makes sad soup.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah think hard about the timeline and whether Jod was right all along (spoiler, maybe not...)
Join us next week to head back to the Mithreaeum in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 16, 17, and 18 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not
Announcement
See y’all tomorrow!
HtN Chapters 9,10,&11 - "Heroes are Passé"
SAFE SECTION: Everyone gets a new vocal tick (phwoar!) and plans their funerals
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie get a phone call from John.
Join us next week to sleepwalk through the Mithraeum in Chapters 12-15 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you know, ghosts.
Content warning: This episode contains b
HtN Chapters 6, 7, & 8 - “Monsters Were Never Beyond Her”
SAFE SECTION: Brooke gains an unfortunate Google search history, John wants a hyperpotomous for Christmas, and the gang spend way too much time in esoteric baloney (anatomy, Plato's allegory of the cave, genetics).
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah pronounces her favorite Lyctor theory while Marie points out her favorite foreshadowing lines.
Join us next week to hear John and Brooke wake up aboard the Mithr
HtN: Chapter 3,4,&5 - “Power Vomit and Murder”
SAFE SECTION: Brooke cooks up conspiracies, John writes himself a note, and everyone finds out that they should have joined the military.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie predict John's note to himself and the ending of Alecto.
Join us next week when John and Brooke meet their big sister in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 6, 7, and 8 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unloc
HtN: HtN Chapter 1&2 "The Dubious Privileges of the First House"
SAFE SECTION: Brooke and John consider Ortus Nigenad while Hannah imagines her career as an interior decorator of the Houses, Marie spends some time vomiting in solidarity with Harrow, and everyone considers their afterlife.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie consider Ortus Nigenad and are haunted by The Body.
Join us next week to hear Ianthe bring some class back in Chapters 3, 4, and 5 but til
HtN: Prologue and Parados - "Hell Spat You Back Out"
SAFE SECTION: Brooke and John learn a lot from the Dramatis Personae, and then realize they know nothing by the end of the Parados. And of course, we all play that classic Third House game, FMKR.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie do a lot of gloating over how confused Brooke and John are.
Join us next week to to watch Harrow vomit a bunch in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 1 and 2 but til then, stay
Interstitial 2: As Yet Unsent
This episode contains full series spoilers through Nona the Ninth.
SPOILER SECTION: This week SPECIAL GUESTS Sonia and Josh join Hannah and Marie to get new names, get truly disturbing with a dead body, and ultimately, talk some rampant speculation as we discuss the short story "As Yet Unsent."
Join us after our break when we kick off our read of Harrow the Ninth with the Prologue and Parodos, but
Interstitial 1: The Mysterious Study of Doctor Sex
SAFE SECTION: John starts a cult and Brooke haunts her husband as the whole gang coos over teenage Cam and Pal.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah starts a cult because one of the last glass ceilings is female cult leaders.
Join us two weeks to read the Prologue and Parados of Harrow the Ninth (!) but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without perm
Gideon the Ninth Wrap-up
This week we all spend some time with the extra materials, consider what it all might mean, add to our rampant conspiracies, and return to FMKR.
Join us next week for TWO special episodes! Next week, we will be reading “The Mysterious Study of Doctor Sex” (we choose not to), SAFE for anyone who has read Gideon the Ninth, and we will also be reading “As Yet Unsent” in a SPOILERIFIC episode with new
Sanitized SPOILERS for Episodes 9-16
SPOILER SECTION: Have you been reading along for the first time, and you wanted to know what Marie and Hannah were saying behind that spoiler warning? Now is your chance!
Join us next week for our recap of Gideon the Ninth but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you know, ghosts.
Content warning: This episode con
Sanitized SPOILERS for Episodes 1 thru 8
SPOILER SECTION: Have you been reading along for the first time, and you wanted to know what Marie and Hannah were saying behind that spoiler warning? Now is your chance!
Join us next week to hear more sanitized SPOILERS gleaned from Hannah and Marie's discussions in Episodes 9-16 (safe for anyone who has read Gideon the Ninth), but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock
Chapter 37 and Epilogue- “What’s Done is Done is Done”
SAFE SECTION: We all grapple with the implications of the Epilogue and sign up for lifetime subscriptions to each other's nerd facts.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah cackle over how little Brooke and John can know about what is in store for them in Harrow the Ninth.
Join us next week to hear sanitized SPOILERS from Marie and Hannah's spoiler sections from Episodes 1-8 (safe for anyone who has
Chapter 35 & 36 - “One Flesh, One End”
SAFE SECTION: Brooke makes a lot of "wah" sounds, John cusses a lot about being "so close!", Marie is a homewrecker, and Hannah keeps us all on track, as per usual.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie spend a lot of time making a calendar and thinking about what comes next.
Join us next week to hear the final conclusion of Gideon the Ninth in Chapter 27 and the Epilogue, but til then, stay safe m
SPOILER Episode 16: Chapter 32,33,&34 - “The Civilised Thing To Do”
It's a long one this week so this is the SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie spend waaaay too long examine Ianthe's inner psyche and blech! ew!
Join us next week to hear the chaotic climax in Chapters 35 and 36 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you know, ghosts.
Content warning: This episode contains bones,
SAFE Chapter 32,33,&34 - “The Civilised Thing To Do”
It's a long one, so this is only the SAFE SECTION: Everyone walks into a bar (lyctor lab) to find Ianthe and learn more about her and Lyctors than they ever wanted.
Join us next week to hear the climactic final chaos in Chapters 35 and 36 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you know, ghosts.
Content warning:
Chapter 30 & 31 - “The Sacred Silence We Keep”
Trigger warning: This week we tackle some heavy chapters, and that includes talking about suicide. If that is not a safe topic for you, we understand if you meet up with us later. Act I and the Interstitial game are safe from those topics.
SAFE SECTION: Brooke and John take their first sacramental salt water swim, and we all contemplate the bleak prospects on Sword Meets Bone in this week's (datin
Chapter 28 & 29 - “A House of Broken Promises”
SAFE SECTION: Brooke and John are bystanders to some awkward conversations and dig into the meanings of names.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah are bystanders to some awkward conversations and dig into the meanings of names.
Join us next week to hear a confrontation in Chapters 30 and 31 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without perm
Chapter 26 & 27 - "Every Weirdo in Canaan House"
SAFE SECTION: We all witness a really terrible fight, watch Brooke and John devolve into a puddle of rampant speculation, and alternatively trade insults and compliments. (Ok, it was only Hannah with the compliments, but she tricked us!)
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie rate the cooking accomplished in the rampant speculation, and cook up some conspiracies of their own...
Join us next week to hea
Chapter 23, 24, & 25 - “Fidelity! Fidelity! Fidelity! Fidelity!"
SAFE SECTION: John and Brooke go loud while Hannah counts to four and Marie takes a break.
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah make a list and check it twice. (The list is the rampant speculation.)
Join us next week to delve deeper into the mystery in Chapters 26 and 27 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you
Chapter 21 and 22 – “Someone’s Dead”
SAFE SECTION: Someone’s dead! Again! And we don’t know who!
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah hit a time loop to talk about who is and isn’t who they seem.
Content warning: This episode contains bones, blood, smut and swear words.
Join us next week to hear more! death! in Chapters 23, 24, and 25 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors wit
Chapter 19&20: “It’s Very Easy to Die”
SAFE SECTION: John and Brooke explore a Lyctor lab and then Marie and Hannah siphon their life juice (it was for a good cause!). SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah are now actively seeking dumber friends. Muzzy and Zuko guest star.
**apologies! Hannah's mic was on the fritz for the first part of the episode!**
Join us next week to dig through the cremains with us in Chapters 21 and 22 but til
Chapter 17&18: "Chalk and Ink and Blood"
SAFE SECTION: We all work together to summon some ghosts, but boy do we suck at spirit magic. We flesh and bone witches here on Frontline Fifth. SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah speculate about the ghosts in the basement. Special guest star this week: Diego (#GoodbyeKittyKatYeet).
Join us next week in Chapters 19 and 20 for our first foray into a Lyctor Study (!!!) and Marie and Hannah's first
Chapter 15&16: "So Usefully Down in the Dark"
SAFE SECTION: We measure Hannah's medium biceps and John's giant head at our dream dinner parties and then mourn the tragic loss of the Fifth House. SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah go hard dissecting small talk, because we liked that dinner...it was...useful.
Join us next week to get some of our first glimpses into non-bone necromancy and theorize about ghost-murder in Chapters 17 and 18 but t
Chapter 13&14: "It's Gideon Nav Talking Time"
SAFE SECTION: Brooke is definitely the prude of the podcast; We all enter the bone zone. SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah do the math and the numbers don't add up.
Join us on January 6th, 2025 for a party and a funeral in Chapters 15 and 16 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you know, ghosts.
Content warn
Chapter 12: "Sweat and Blood and Old, Burnt Bone"
SAFE SECTION: This week our newbies enter the Facility for the first time!!! Don't worry, dear listener, we got permission first. Brooke is disappointed in our lack of smut, John is cooking with conspiracy theories, and we are all the greatest necromancer of our generation... SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah need to get dumber friends...we talk about white people and argue over whether Camilla
Chapter 9,10,&11: "Alone Amid Very Strange Strangers"
SAFE SECTION: This week Brooke and John meet…well, like all the characters. All the ones we care about except Cam and Pal, anyway. We also give you, our dear listener, a peek at our side hustle as sparring commentators! SPOILER SECTION: Hannah obsesses over the age of Canaan House (not the first time, nor the last) and Marie blows all our minds once again. You know we are living for those mytholog
Chapter 7&8: "Welcome To Canaan House"
SAFE SECTION: This week, our newbies touch down in Canaan House, where both John and Gideon immediately fall for Dulcinea's tuberculosis-chic energy.
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie talk planets and Marie wonders if there is more water in Canaan House than just the oceans of the First House.
Join us next week when we finally meet more of the cast (enter 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 8th houses!!!) in C
Chapter 5&6: "Ten Thousand Years of Tradition"
SAFE SECTION: It's a training montage! Our newbies practice acting like *proper* Ninth Nunlets all day, but they're reading dirty magazines of their own invention all night!
SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah talk about why John loves the Roman Empire so much and tell Harrowhark to stop jumping to conclusions
Content warning: This episode contains bones, blood, smut and swear words.
Join us next
Chapter 3&4: "A Bad Bone Saint"
SAFE SECTION: Brooke and John, our sweet Ninth newbies, descend into Drearburgh and learn about the Emperor's open call for new saints. They sign up right away (the offhand for both is pocket sand, obvi).
SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie talk about relationships and speculate on why the Houses keep bringing swords to a gun fight.
Content warning: This episode contains bones, blood, smut and swear
Chapter 1&2: "A Disgrace in a Vacuum"
SAFE SECTION: Our little Ninth nunlets meet Gideon Nav for the very first time and then, almost immediately, watch her get totally crushed under a pile of skeletons courtesy of Hannah's perma-crush, Harrowhark Nonagesimus. SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie talk about Gideon's love of 2020s culture and the location of Wake's soul (Ha! New readers! You won't even remotely get that one til like 80% o
Frontispiece, Dramatis Personae, and Epigraph
This week's episode is a teaser! We haven't cracked the spine of Gideon the Ninth just yet...In this week's episode, SAFE SECTION: Our necro-newbies talk about their reflections on the Cover Art, Cast of Characters, and opening poem of Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. Then we all play FMKR, because that's who we are as people. SPOILER SECTION: Marie drops a bombshell theory about the Dramatis Pers
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