Sex and Psychology Podcast
The Sex and Psychology Podcast offers sex education that you never received in school, presented by Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller. Each episode explores the psychology behind sex and relationships, providing practical advice to enhance your intimate life. The podcast draws on scientific research to discuss topics often overlooked in traditional sex ed. Listeners can also find additional content on Dr. Lehmiller's blog at sexandpsychology.com.
Episodes
Episode 515: Why We Disagree About Consent
One person sees coercion. Another sees miscommunication. Two people can watch the exact same scene and walk away with completely different interpretations. So why do stories about consent generate so much disagreement? In this episode, we’re exploring what film and television reveal about our cultural understanding of consent.
I am joined once again by Michele Meek, Ph.D. an author, filmmake
Episode 514: The Ambiguity of Consent
Is consent alone enough to tell us whether a sexual experience was ethical, healthy, and/or mutually fulfilling? In this episode, we’re exploring the difference between consent and desire, why affirmative consent frameworks sometimes fall short, and what it means to think beyond consent when it comes to sexual ethics.
My guest is Michele Meek, Ph.D. an author, filmmaker, and professor who ha
Episode 513: Inside The World Of Chastity Play
In this episode, we’re diving into the many ways that people incorporate chastity into their intimate lives. As we’ll discuss, you don’t neccessarily need a partner or even a chastity cage to explore it. We’ll look at the many different roles chastity can play, from solo exploration and relationship dynamics to gender affirmation and self-discipline.
I am joined once again
Episode 512: Why Chastity Turns People On
Historically, chastity was associated with suppressing sexual desire. Today, however, it often means something very different. For many people, it’s a way of exploring desire, anticipation, control, intimacy, and pleasure. In this episode, we’re diving into the psychology of chastity, including why people are drawn to it, who’s into it, and what it can teach us about human sexual
Episode 511: The Five Dimensions Of Sexual Desire
Why do some people need emotional connection to feel desire, while others are more responsive to novelty, touch, or fantasy? And why can the exact same sexual experience feel exciting one day and flat the next? In this episode, we explore the five dimensions of desire and how understanding your arousal architecture can transform your sex life.
I am joined once again by Kayna Cassard, a sex therapi
Episode 510: The Science Of Sexual Arousal
A lot of people think that if you’re attracted to someone, arousal should just naturally happen. But it’s not that simple. In this episode, we explore the science of sexual arousal, the many pathways through which desire can emerge, and how stress, trauma, burnout, and major life experiences can reshape our relationship with pleasure.
My guest is Kayna Cassard, a sex therapist, painful
Episode 509: Out-Of-Control Sexual Behavior In Women
When people hear about “out-of-control” sexual behavior, they tend to think of men. But women can struggle with it too, and their experiences have often been overlooked or misunderstood because most of the research and treatment models were built around male experiences. Today, we’re exploring the psychology of out-of-control sexual behavior in women, and what people often get wrong ab
Episode 508: When Your Sexuality Changes Later In Life
Most people think sexuality is something we figure out early in life. But for many people, major realizations about their sexuality don’t happen until much later, sometimes after decades in heterosexual relationships or marriages. Today, we’re exploring the psychology of coming out later in life and what happens when you discover aspects of your sexuality you never fully understood before.
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Episode 507: Is Non-Monogamy Right For You?
A lot of people are curious about non-monogamy. But there’s a big difference between liking the idea of it and knowing whether it genuinely fits your emotional needs, attachment style, and relationship temperament. So how do you know if non-monogamy is right for you? That’s what we’re exploring in this episode.
I am joined once again by Kate Loree, LMFT, a sex-positive psychotherapist, author, and
Episode 506: Trauma-Informed Non-Monogamy
People often think successful non-monogamy comes down to communication, boundaries, and relationship agreements. But underneath those conversations are deeper psychological dynamics involving attachment, emotional safety, and nervous system regulation. In today’s episode, we’re exploring what it means to approach consensual non-monogamy through a trauma-informed lens.
My guest is Kate Loree, LMFT,
Episode 505: How To Move Beyond Small Talk
Most people say they want deeper relationships and more meaningful connection, yet many conversations stay stuck at the surface level. We talk about work, schedules, the weather, or whatever else feels safe. So why is it so hard to move beyond small talk? In this episode, we’re exploring the science of meaningful conversation, from curiosity and attention to vulnerability, flirting, and emotional
Episode 504: Why We Avoid Connection (Even When We Crave It)
We live in a world where people are more digitally connected than ever, yet loneliness remains incredibly common. Most of us move through daily life surrounded by strangers while following an unspoken rule: don’t engage. In this episode, we’re exploring why humans are so socially cautious, but also why even brief conversations with strangers can meaningfully improve our happiness, health, and sens
Episode 503: Why Sexual Communication Feels So Hard
A lot of couples struggle to talk about sex because those conversations can feel incredibly vulnerable. And if the topic comes up at all, it’s often only when there’s a problem in the bedroom, which makes every discussion feel loaded with pressure, shame, defensiveness, or fear of rejection. In today’s episode, we’ll discuss how couples can communicate about intimacy in healthier and more producti
Episode 502: Rethinking Premature Ejaculation
When people talk about premature ejaculation, the conversation is usually framed around performance: lasting longer, gaining control, or somehow “fixing” the problem. But what if we’ve been thinking about this issue all wrong? In today’s episode, we explore a different way of understanding early ejaculation that’s less rooted less in performance and more in the nervous system, anxiety, shame
Episode 501: Masturbation Myths and the Science of Self-Pleasure
To celebrate Masturbation Month, we’re sharing a compilation of clips about self-pleasure. Masturbation Month traces back to 1995, when U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders stated that masturbation is a natural part of human sexuality and should perhaps be included in sex education. The political backlash ultimately led to her firing, and May 14 was later declared National Masturbation Day in her
Episode 500: How To Have Amazing Sex (Essential Listen)
Most of us know the basics of sex, but having truly great sex is another story. Today, we’re revisiting one of my favorite conversations from the archives about increasing sexual pleasure, deepening intimacy, and making sex more satisfying for everyone involved.
My guest is Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and author of the book Anatomy of Desire: 5 Secrets to Lasting Intimacy.
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Episode 499: Navigating Love and Relationships After Trauma
In the last episode, we explored how trauma shapes our relationships, intimacy, and emotional patterns. But the bigger question is: what do we do with that insight, and how do we start building healthier ways of connecting? Today, we’re talking about healing, supportive partnership, and what moving forward can actually look like after trauma.
I am joined once again by Dr. Heather MacIntosh, a psyc
Episode 498: The Hidden Ways Trauma Shows Up In Relationships
“Trauma” is a word you hear everywhere today, from social media to conversations about dating and relationships. But in psychology, it has a more precise meaning, and understanding it can help explain the patterns we see in how we think, feel, and connect. In this episode, we explore how trauma shows up in our relationships and sex lives.
My guest is Dr. Heather MacIntosh, a psychoanalyst and clin
Episode 497: Inside The World Of Breast Implants And Chest Surgery
More cosmetic surgeries are performed on the chest than almost anywhere else on the body, with breast implants leading the way. Not long ago, “bigger is better” defined the ideal, but we’re seeing a shift toward smaller, more natural results. So what’s driving that change? Today, we’re diving into the world of chest surgery, and what it reveals about beauty, power, and the making of the “ideal” br
Episode 496: How Breasts Became Erotic – The Surprising History
You might think that breasts are inherently sexual and that humans have always eroticized them. Historically, however, breasts haven’t always been seen this way, and even today, breasts are barely sexualized in some cultures. In today’s episode, we’re looking at the fascinating story behind how breasts became eroticized, and how the cultural meaning of breasts has changed over time.
My guest is Sa
Episode 495: Why Even Happy Couples Fight (And How To Do It Right)
A lot of people believe that if you’re in the “right” relationship, you shouldn’t fight. They think that conflict means something is wrong or that you’re incompatible. However conflict isn’t a failure—it’s inevitable. In today’s episode, we’re rethinking what conflict really means and how to navigate it in healthier, more constructive ways.
I am joined once again by Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, an award-
Episode 494: The Six Essential Ingredients For Lasting Love
We tend to think of love as something that just happens. You meet the right person, you feel a spark, and everything else just falls into place. However, love doesn’t come effortlessly. It’s something we build over time. In this episode, we’re exploring the key ingredients of lasting love and the everyday behaviors that keep love alive.
My guest is Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, an award-winning soci
Episode 493: Straight Men Who Have Sex With Other Men
We tend to think about sexual orientation as a fixed identity that’s clear, stable, and easy to define. However, sexuality doesn’t fit into neat and tidy boxes like that. In this episode, we’re diving into the world of heterosexual man who want to have sex with other men, and what this tells us about the complexity of human sexuality.
I am joined once again by Kathy Kay, host of the St
Episode 492: Why So Many People Fantasize About Sharing Their Partner
Being turned on by the idea of sharing your partner with someone else is a surprisingly common sexual fantasy, and it’s something many couples are actively exploring in real life. In today’s show, we’re diving into a practice known as hotwifing, including how common it is and the psychology behind it.
My guest is Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous Podcast and author of the new b
Episode 491: Sex, Disability, And Barriers To Care
Sex education and sexual healthcare rarely meet the needs of persons with disabilities. From limited access to information to barriers in care, millions are being left out. Today, we’re breaking down where these gaps come from, how they show up in everyday life, and what inclusive care would actually look like.
I am joined once again by Dr. Kirsten Greer, a postdoctoral research fellow at the Kins
Episode 490: Why People Say Yes To Sex They Don’t Want
Wanting sex and consenting to sex aren’t the same thing. Sometimes we agree to sex we don’t want, and other times we turn down opportunities for sex we do want. Today, we’re going to explore the distinction between wantedness and consent, including common reasons people agree to sex that they don’t actually desire.
My guest is Dr. Kirsten Greer, a postdoctoral research fellow at the Ki
Episode 489: How Poppers Changed Sex
Humans have always looked for ways to enhance sex, but some of the most popular tools weren’t even meant for that purpose at all. One drug, originally developed for heart conditions, made its way into nightlife and became closely tied to sex. In today’s episode, we’re talking all about poppers, including how they work, how they became linked to pleasure, and why they’re still so controversial.
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Episode 488: How Feet Became A Popular Fetish
When I surveyed more than 4,000 adults about their sexual fantasies for my book Tell Me What You Want, I found that 1 in 7 people had fantasized about feet or toes. In today’s episode, we’re exploring the fascinating history of foot fetishes, the psychology behind attraction to feet, and why men seem more likely to report this interest than women.
My guest is Adam Zmith is a writer and multi-forma
Episode 487: How To Make Online Dating Work For You
Dating apps make it seem like you can swipe your way to the perfect partner. But attraction isn’t something we can fully predict from profiles. It emerges through interaction. So what happens when we try to optimize something that’s inherently unpredictable? In this episode, we break down the psychology of online dating and how to approach it more effectively.
I am joined once again by Dr. Paul Ea
Episode 486: Why We’re So Bad At Predicting Romantic Compatibility
Most of us think we know what we’re looking for in a partner. We have a “type,” a mental checklist, and the belief that if someone checks enough boxes, everything else will fall into place. But decades of research suggest that attraction and compatibility don’t work that way. In this episode, we’ll unpack how attraction really unfolds and why chemistry is so hard to predict.
My guest is Dr. Paul E
Episode 485: The Surprising History Of Fetishes And Porn
Humans have always been kinky, but what we fetishize and why has changed over time. In this episode, we’re revisiting the fascinating history behind some of the most common fetishes. From leather and nylon to the enduring appeal of feet, we’ll unpack how culture, technology, and history shaped these desires. We’ll also dive into the unexpected history of pornography and explore how hentai emerged
Episode 484: Who’s Responsible for Your Orgasm? (Essential Listen)
How much do you really know about orgasms? In this episode, we answer common questions about climax and explore the concept of orgasm equity, including what it really means to close the orgasm gap. We’ll also discuss strategies for experiencing more pleasure, and whether becoming multi-orgasmic is something you can actually learn.
My guest is Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate
Episode 483: Making Relationship Agreements That Work
When people open a relationship, they often start by asking: what are the rules? But the real key to healthy non-monogamy isn’t rules. It’s clarity about needs, desires, and expectations. In this episode, we’re talking about how to design relationship agreements that actually work.
I am joined once again by Dr. Nicole Thompson, a sex and relationship psychotherapist and host of the popular podcast
Episode 482: Building Secure Non-Monogamous Relationships
Beginning a consensually non-monogamous relationship can trigger reactions you never saw coming. For example, the first time your partner connects with someone else, your body might react like there’s danger. So why is that? Today, we’re going to explore how to craft secure non-monogamous relationships and work skillfully with intense emotions that might arise along the way.
My guest is Dr. Nicole
Episode 481: Can Our Brains Handle Modern Dating?
Humans evolved for face-to-face courtship in small communities, where attraction unfolded gradually and choices were limited. Today, we’re navigating global dating markets, algorithms, AI recommendations, endless novelty, and constant rejection. So what happens when ancient mating psychology collides with modern technology?
I am joined once again by Dr. Justin Garcia, evolutionary biologist and Ex
Episode 480: The Evolution Of Love And Desire
Why do we fall in and out of love so quickly? Why does love feel intoxicating at first, but complicated over time? The answer may be simpler than we think: humans are animals. Our brains were shaped by ancient mating systems that developed long before dating apps and modern culture. So what does it mean to be an “intimate animal?” And how much of our love lives today are still being driven b
Episode 479: Can Humor Make You Better In Bed?
Research shows that couples who bring playfulness into conversations about sex report greater satisfaction and emotional connection. A well-timed joke can lower defenses and make high-stakes topics feel safer. Today, we’re diving into how humor works inside relationships, and how it can be an effective tool, when used appropriately, to enhance sexual communication.
I am joined once again by Jenny
Episode 478: When Is Sex Funny? And When Is It Not?
Talking about sex is one of the hardest things for people to do. People want to communicate about desire, boundaries, and fantasies, but the conversation can feel painfully high-stakes. And yet, in one place, sex gets discussed openly in front of strangers: the comedy club. Today, we’re exploring why sex is so funny, how comedians navigate taboo topics, and the tightrope between normalizing sex an
Episode 477: Testosterone And Women’s Sexual Health
When we talk about hormones and women’s sexual health, the focus is almost always on estrogen. But testosterone also plays a key role in desire, arousal, and overall sexual well-being. Despite being labeled a “male hormone,” women produce (and need) it too. In this episode, we separate myth from fact about testosterone in women and why it remains one of the most overlooked topics in sexual medicin
Episode 476: The Bedroom Gap At MidLife
For many women, the menopause transition brings painful sex and low libido—issues that have long been endured in silence. Meanwhile, men have had access to highly effective sexual performance treatments for decades. The result is what my guest calls the bedroom gap: the widening divide in sexual expectations and capabilities between men and women in midlife.
I am joined by Dr. Maria Sophocles, a b
Episode 475: How To Have More Pleasurable Sex
When people think about great sex, they often picture what happens at the peak (i.e., the orgasm). But what if we stopped thinking about pleasure as a single moment and, instead viewed it as a cycle? In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the three phases of the pleasure cycle–wanting, liking, and learning–and discuss how cultivating each of them can transform your sex life.
I am j
Episode 474: The New Rules Of Intimacy
Most people think of sexual consent as a simple yes-or-no question. But it’s rarely that clear-cut. In this episode, we unpack why consent is about more than permission, how power and context shape sexual choices, and what it means to build experiences that feel mutual, ethical, and genuinely good for everyone involved.
My guest is Dr. Nicole McNichols. She is an Associate Teaching Professor in th
Episode 473: The 5 Mindsets That Help Love Last
Knowing someone loves you is one thing. Actually feeling that love in your body and daily life is another—and that’s where many relationships get stuck. In this episode, we move from problem to solution, exploring five research-backed mindsets that help love land and deepen real connection.
I am joined once again by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University o
Episode 472: Why Being Loved Doesn’t Always Feel Like Love
You can be deeply loved—and still not feel it. In this episode, we’re exploring the gap between being loved and feeling loved, the myths that keep love from landing, and how modern life can amplify disconnection. If you’ve ever felt unseen, insecure, or lonely inside an otherwise good relationship, this conversation will help you understand why, and what you can do about it.
My guest is Dr.
Episode 471: Letting Go Of Someone You Can’t Let Go Of
Limerence is an intense state of romantic preoccupation where someone takes over your thoughts and emotions. It can feel exhilarating and even spark new love. But it can also become unhealthy, especially when the feelings are unrequited, inappropriate, or tied to someone who is unavailable or toxic. In this episode, we explore when limerence becomes a problem, and how to work through it.
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Episode 470: The Science of Romantic Obsession
Have you ever been unable to stop thinking about someone? They’re the first thing on your mind when you wake up and the last before you fall asleep. When they text, you’re ecstatic. When they don’t, you feel deflated. That experience has a name: limerence. In this episode, we unpack what it is, where it comes from, and why the brain can become so powerfully attached to another person.
My guest is
Episode 469: When The Unconscious Takes Over Your Sex Life
We often think good sex mostly comes down to physical technique. But many people feel disconnected from their bodies, stuck in their heads, or unable to access desire and pleasure. And that’s something technique alone can’t fix. Today, we’ll explore how attending to unconscious factors like shame, anxiety, and trauma can open the door to deeper pleasure.
I am joined once again by Juliane Maxwald,
Episode 468: What’s Beneath Your Sexual Problems Might Surprise You
When people experience sexual problems, the instinct is often to ask, “What’s wrong with me?” or “How do I fix this?” But what if those struggles are actually meaningful signals or clues that something deeper needs attention? In today’s show, we’re exploring a different way of understanding sexual difficulties: as doorways to unconscious emotional and relational truths.
My guest is Jul
Episode 467: Why Are People Into That?
When people hear about certain kinks, the reaction is often one of confusion or judgment. The question that comes up again and again is, “Why would anyone be into that?” Today, we’re exploring some lesser-known and often misunderstood kinks, not to sensationalize them, but to understand the psychology behind why different people are drawn to different things.
I am joined once again by Gigi Engle,
Episode 466: What People Get Wrong About Kink
When people hear the word “kink,” they often imagine something extreme. However, kink is actually far broader and more common than most people realize. In today’s show, we’re unpacking what kink is, what it isn’t, and why people want what they want. If you’ve ever wondered “why are people into that?”, this episode is for you.
My guest is Gigi Engle, a certified sex and rela
Episode 465: What Sex-Positivity Is, And What It’s Not
“Sex-positive” is a term that gets used a lot these days, but it doesn’t always mean the same thing to everyone. Sometimes it’s about sexual openness or enthusiasm, other times it’s about respect for sexual diversity, and sometimes it’s even used in coercive ways. In this episode, we explore what sex-positivity actually is, and what it isn’t.
I am joined once again by Dr. Carol Queen, the staff se
Episode 464: What Sex Shops Teach Us About Sex (And Why It Matters)
Sex shops are more than just retail spaces. In fact, they’re often where people actually learn about sex. When formal sex ed fails, sex shops step in to answer questions about bodies, pleasure, and desire. In this episode, we’re exploring how sex shops became unexpected sex educators, and what we can learn from that.
My guest is Dr. Carol Queen, the staff sexologist, Company Historian, and C
Episode 463: Stress, Connection, And LGBTQ Health
A lot has changed very quickly lately, and nowhere is this more evident than in LGBTQ+ health. In just a short period of time, we’ve seen shifts in research funding, data collection, public health infrastructure, and the broader social climate, all of which have real, measurable consequences for people’s mental, physical, and sexual well-being.
In today’s episode, I’m joined by two experts who stu
Episode 462: How To Build Better Relationships In The New Year
What can you do to build stronger, happier, and healthier relationships in the coming year? In today’s show, we’re going to explore practical resolutions for strengthening your connection, reducing conflict, and breaking out of the ruts and routines that often make relationships feel stale.
I am joined once again by Ashley Weller. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professo
Episode 461: New Year, New Sex Life
Most New Year’s resolutions fail, but it doesn’t have to be this way. In this episode, we’re going to explore how to set sexy goals that actually stick. Learn how to turn intention into intimacy and make this your best year yet for connection and pleasure, whether you’re in a relationship or flying solo.
My guest is Ashley Weller. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Pr
Episode 460: Why People Have More Sex Around the Holidays
If you’re feeling hornier than usual right now, it’s not just you! The winter holidays are a time of year when sexual interest and behavior reliably increase. We see this in everything from a spike in condom sales to an increase in sexual injuries to a peak in STD rates early in the new year. So why is that? That’s what we’re going to explore in today’s episode.
Some
Episode 459: What 136,000 Erections Reveal About Men
Erectile dysfunction has long been treated with guesswork and one-size-fits-all solutions. But new technology is changing that by making erections measurable. In this episode, we explore the FirmTech TechRing, a wearable that tracks erection data during sleep and sex, and what insights from over 136,000 erections reveal about erectile fitness, overall health, and the future of data-driven sexual m
Episode 458: How Erections Really Work (And Why They Fail)
What actually has to happen inside the body for an erection to occur? And what is the most common cause of erectile dysfunction (ED)? In today’s show, we’re diving into the science of how erections work, as well as why men sometimes struggle to get or maintain them. We’ll also unpack some common misconceptions about ED and discuss why the standard “just take a pill approach
Episode 457: Gay Men Who Have Sex With Women
Most people think men’s sexual orientation is pretty straightforward: if you’re gay, you only sleep with men, and if you’re straight, you only sleep with women. But things aren’t always that simple. In today’s show, we’re exploring a reality that doesn’t fit the script—gay men who are out and confident in their identity, but who sometimes sleep with women.
I am joined once again
Episode 456: The Psychology Of Gay Men’s Sexual Fantasies
Although gay men are often seen as being pretty uninhibited when it comes to sex, their fantasy lives tell a more complex story. Like everyone else, many gay men experience shame, confusion, or conflict around their fantasies. In today’s show, we’re diving into common themes that show up in gay men’s fantasies, the psychology behind them, and how to drop the shame.
My guest is Dr. Joe Kort, the cl
Episode 455: The New Rules Of Cheating
People’s definitions of cheating are evolving. Infidelity isn’t just about physical betrayal anymore. It’s emotional, it’s digital, and sometimes it doesn’t even involve another human at all. In today’s show, we’re diving into the new rules of cheating. We’re also going to talk about how modern technology is making it harder than ever to keep infidelity a secret.
I am joine
Episode 454: How Ozempic Is Changing Sex And Dating
Popular GLP-1 medications like Ozempic, Wegovy, and Zepbound aren’t just transforming weight loss. They’re also changing our intimate lives in surprising ways. In today’s show, we’re diving into results from a new national study finding that a majority of people taking one of these medications reported a change in their sex and dating lives, for better or for worse.
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Episode 453: The Secrets To A Successful Open Relationship
How do you make a non-monogamous relationship work? In today’s show, we’re diving into a brand-new study that set out to map the most common and effective relationship practices for consensually non-monogamous (CNM) people. We’re going to discuss the key strategies that help people maintain multiple partners with intention, stability, and harmony.
I am joined once again by Dr. Justin Mogilsk
Episode 452: What People Get Wrong About Open Relationships
Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is something everyone seems to have an opinion on, but many people’s views are decidedly negative. For example, people often say things like “open relationships never work,” and “how is that any different than cheating?” In today’s show, we’re going to dive into common CNM myths and misconceptions and separate fact from fiction.
My guest is Dr. Justin Mogilski,
Episode 451: The Surprising Science Of The Clitoris (Essential Listen)
Many parts of female sexual anatomy have long been misunderstood, but the clitoris is chief among them. Throughout history, the clitoris is something that has repeatedly been discovered, described, and then forgotten. In today’s show, we’re going revisit one of my favorite conversations from the archives and talk all about the history and science of the clitoris.
My guest is Dr. Maria Uloko, a boa
Episode 450: The Weird History Of Masturbation
It’s November again, and that means a bunch of people on the internet are giving up masturbation for the month. While “No Nut November” is a relatively recent phenomenon, it actually has deep roots and reflects humans’ longstanding and very complicated relationship with self-pleasure. In this show, we’re talking about the history of masturbation and why people are so conflicted o
Episode 449: The Real Cost of Abstinence Pledges
Think back to your sex education for a moment. Were you advised to “save yourself for marriage?” Were you asked to sign a “purity” pledge? For millions of people, that was their experience. In this episode, we’re taking a closer look at abstinence pledges, including how they became so widespread, whether they actually work as intended, and the unseen consequences they leave behind.
I am joined onc
Episode 448: Life After Purity Culture
For a lot of people who grew up in religious or conservative environments, they learned to fear sex and/or feel ashamed of. Purity culture teaches folks that their personal value is tied to their sexual choices: “good” people wait to have sex, while “bad” people don’t. In this episode, we’re going to talk about what it’s like to grow up in purity culture, how to move past it, and whether it’s poss
Episode 447: Do Sex Toys Ruin Sex? Myth Vs. Fact
Have you ever heard that vibrators will desensitize you and ruin partnered sex forever? That sex toys are just for women, singles, or kinky folks? Or that if you need a toy, something must be wrong with your sex life or relationship? These are common beliefs, but they’re not grounded in reality. So let’s set the record straight.
My guest is Venus O’Hara, a pleasure educator, author, a
Episode 446: What It’s Like To Be A Professional Sex Toy Tester
A sex toy is so much more than just a fun gadget. Toys can help us to explore our bodies, rekindle the connection in a relationship, improve sexual communication, and more. In this episode, we’re going behind the scenes of how sex toys are designed and developed. We’re also going to talk about what makes a toy truly great, as well as how to tell which toys are worth your money and whic
Episode 445: Freak In The Head, Freak In The Bed?
From sayings like “freak in the head, freak in the bed” to the hot/crazy matrix to memes about “daddy issues,” the internet is full of content suggesting that mentally and emotionally unstable people make for hotter sex partners. But is that really true? In this episode, we’re breaking down some of the biggest myths about sex and relationships that dominate social media.
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Episode 444: What Social Media Gets Wrong About Relationships
Social media has turned therapy into a language that almost everyone seems to speak these days, which is why your feed is probably full of posts about topics like trauma, boundaries, and gaslighting. In this episode, we’re taking a closer look at the rise of “therapy speak” and how, for better or for worse, it’s reshaping the way we talk about emotions, conflict, and relationships.
I am joined by
Episode 443: Sex And Intimacy After Trauma
All too often, survivors of sexual violence are treated as though they’re permanently broken. However, healing and recovery are possible. My guest today has written a new book that explores how survivors reclaim sex, intimacy, and desire after assault. It’s unlike most other books on trauma because it dares to ask not just how people survive, but also how they thrive again.
I am joined by Katie Si
Episode 442: Can Safer Sex Still Be Sexy?
When it comes to sex, we often think about safety and pleasure as being at odds with one another. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In this episode, we’re talking about some new Kinsey Institute research looking at people’s experiences with Lorals for Protection, a product designed to offer both protection and pleasure during oral sex.
I am joined by Dr. Cynthia Graham, a senio
Episode 441: The Path Back To Each Other
Most people in long-term relationships think their sex life could be better. So what can you do if you and your partner don’t really seem to be in synch anymore when it comes to sex? In today’s show, we’re going to explore how to respark your sexual connection. We’ll also dive into the topic of sexual initiation, including how we can learn to initiate in ways that are actually going to
Episode 440: How Parenthood Changes Your Sex Life
Becoming a parent changes everything in your life, including your sex life. It’s common for new parents to struggle with desire, let alone finding time for intimacy. So what can parents do to get things back on track? In today’s show, we’re talking all about how parenthood changes sex and tips for reigniting intimacy.
My guest is Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy, an AASECT-certified sex t
Episode 439: Fantasy Confessions – Why Even Happy Couples Keep Secrets
Even in the happiest relationships, people don’t always share their fantasies and desires. And sometimes that’s because people are worried about rocking the boat. For example, what if you share a fantasy your partner isn’t into and it reveals an incompatibility? In this episode, we’re going to explore the factors that predict people’s willingness to open up about thei
Episode 438: Should You Share Your Sexual Fantasies?
What happens when people decide to share their sexual fantasies? How does it usually go? In today’s show, we’re going to explore how many people have ever shared their fantasies with a partner before, the five most common reasons that people decide to open up about them, as well as how partners usually react to fantasy disclosure.
I am joined by Matthew Kimberley, a lecturer in Psychology at Birmi
Episode 437: How To Stop Negative Cycles (Essential Listen)
Long-term partners often find themselves having the same fight over and over again. This repetitive, unproductive conflict is known as a negative cycle–and it can ultimately be very damaging to the relationship. So in today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to identify negative cycles in your own relationship, and how to break the pattern.
My guest is Julie Menanno, a licensed m
Episode 436: A Definitive Guide To Better Oral Sex
Oral sex is one of the most popular bedroom activities. However, while most people say that it can be highly pleasurable, it doesn’t always feels great. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to make oral sex better. Specifically, we’ll explore tips and techniques from the Pleasure Mechanics for being both a good giver and receiver, including what to do if you find yourself gettin
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