Sex and Psychology Podcast
The Sex and Psychology Podcast offers sex education that you never received in school, presented by Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller. Each episode explores the psychology behind sex and relationships, providing practical advice to enhance your intimate life. The podcast draws on scientific research to discuss topics often overlooked in traditional sex ed. Listeners can also find additional content on Dr. Lehmiller's blog at sexandpsychology.com.
Episodes
Episode 544: Where Do Fetishes Come From?
Why are some people sexually aroused by things like balloons, orthopedic casts, or even sneezing—things that most people don’t see as sexual at all? Fetishes can develop around an astonishing range of objects, body parts, and sensations. In this episode, we’re going to explore the psychology behind fetishes. We’ll talk about what it actually means to have a fetish, clear up some common misconcepti
Episode 543: How Aftercare Makes Sex Better
What happens after an intense sexual experience can be just as important as what happens during it. In the kink world, this is where “aftercare” comes in. But aftercare is about much more than cuddling, and it isn’t just for submissive partners. In this episode, we’ll explore what good aftercare looks like, how it can make kink even hotter, and how everyone can benefit from it whether they're
Episode 542: How To Talk Sexy Without Feeling Awkward
Talking during sex can be incredibly hot. But for a lot of people, it can also feel awkward, intimidating, or embarrassing. The good news is that sexy talk is a skill you can learn, and it’s about much more than just working up the nerve to say explicit words. In fact, what you say may matter less than how you say it. In this episode, we’re going to explore how to find your own authentic sexy talk
Episode 541: How to Calm Attachment Anxiety
For some people, relationships can bring a lot of anxiety and uncertainty. They might question whether their partner really loves them, become highly sensitive to signs of rejection or distance, or constantly seek reassurance. But where does this anxiety come from, and what can we do about it? In this episode, we’re exploring why some people are especially sensitive to disconnection, how anxiety s
Episode 540: Why You Pull Away When Relationships Get Close
When relationships start to feel too close, some people instinctively pull away. They might shut down emotionally, avoid difficult conversations, crave more space, or convince themselves they’re better off on their own. But where does this tendency come from, and what is it protecting us from? In this episode, we’re taking a deep dive into attachment avoidance. We’ll explore why some people become
Episode 539: The Most Common Questions Sex Therapists Get Asked
What are the most common questions that come up in sex therapy? In this episode, we're revisiting an important conversation from the archives that dives into five questions that come up over and over again. We’re also going to address when you should consider seeing out professional help for a sex problem and explore a few tips for maintaining happy, healthy, and exciting sex lives for the lon
Episode 538: How To Get Out Of Your Head During Sex
Your brain really is your biggest sex organ. And if you want to have more (and better) sex, getting into the right headspace can make all the difference. The problem is that many of us have a hard time getting there. So how can we quiet the mental noise and become more present during sex? In this episode, we’re revisiting a classic episode from the archives on how changing your mindset can change
Episode 537: The Sex History You Were Never Taught
We often assume that people in the past were far more sexually conservative than we are today, and that things like sex toys, pornography, and masturbation are largely modern phenomena. But when you dig into the history of sex, you quickly discover that human beings have been remarkably creative in their pursuit of pleasure for a very long time. In this episode, we’re going to explore some of the
Episode 536: Was The Bridgerton Era As Sexy As We Think?
Shows like Bridgerton invite us to imagine the past as a time of elaborate courtship, forbidden desire, and passionate romance. But was the past really as sexy as we like to think it was? In today’s show, we’re going to separate fact from fantasy when it comes to sex in the Bridgerton era and discuss what dating, courtship, marriage, and sexual relationships actually looked like at the time.My gue
Episode 535: Why Kink Works For Neurodiverse Brains
For many neurodivergent people, BDSM offers something conventional sexual practices often don’t, including clear communication, explicit expectations, structure, and the freedom to tailor experiences to their own needs. In this episode, we’re going to explore why people with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence are often drawn to kink, as well as tips on making sex work with your brain
Episode 534: The Complicated Relationship Between BDSM And Mental Health
BDSM can be a powerful source of pleasure, connection, and self-expression. But when mental health challenges enter the picture, they can also raise important questions about consent, communication, triggers, and emotional safety. So how can people navigate kink in ways that support their mental health rather than undermine it?My guest is Rebecca Blanton (AKA Auntie Vice,) a writer and kink educat
Episode 533: A Beginner's Guide To Swinging
For some couples, swinging can be a way to bring novelty, excitement, and sexual exploration into their relationship. But opening the door to new experiences can also bring new challenges, from jealousy and boundary-setting to navigating differences in what each partner wants. So why do couples decide to swing, what does it actually look like in practice, and what separates a positive experience f
Episode 532: Why Jealousy Isn't The Problem
Jealousy is one of the most complicated—and misunderstood—emotions we experience in intimate relationships. We tend to think of jealousy as inherently unhealthy, something we should suppress, overcome, or eliminate altogether. But what if jealousy itself isn’t actually the problem? In this episode, we explore what jealousy is really trying to tell us, why attempts to get rid of it can sometimes ba
Episode 531: Do Dads Get Postpartum Depression, Too?
Becoming a father doesn’t just change a man’s brain. It can also change his sense of identity, his mental health, and his relationships. Fatherhood can bring profound meaning and connection, but it can also introduce new sources of stress, vulnerability, and conflict that we don’t always talk about. So how does becoming a dad change men psychologically? And what do men stand to gain from being mor
Episode 530: The Surprising Science Of The Dad Brain
Becoming a parent changes just about every aspect of life. But it doesn’t just change your routines, priorities, and relationships—it can actually change your brain and body. And while we’ve long recognized the profound biological transformation that accompanies motherhood, we’re only beginning to understand what happens to men when they become fathers. So what exactly is a “dad brain?” How does f
Episode 529: The Menopause Revolution Is Here
Menopause is finally getting the attention it deserves, with growing recognition of its impact on sexual health, relationships, work, and quality of life. At the center of this conversation is hormone therapy, which has been surrounded by fear and confusion since the Women’s Health Initiative study in the early 2000s, which dramatically changed how it was perceived and prescribed. Today, scientist
Episode 528: Your Toughest Sex Questions, Answered
What happens when two people in a long-term relationship have dramatically different sex drives? How do couples navigate intimacy when aging or health problems make sex difficult, or even impossible? And why do some people experience a sudden surge in sexual desire after losing a partner, a phenomenon sometimes referred to as “widow’s fire”? In this episode, we're answering more listener sex q
Episode 527: How Do You Want To Feel During Sex?
When we talk about what we want sexually, we usually describe certain behaviors, positions, or roles. But that's only part of the story. Beneath what we want to do is a deeper question: How do we want to feel during sex? Some want to feel adored. Others want to feel powerful, desired, free, or cared for. These emotional experiences reflect our Core Desires, and understanding them can offer a m
Episode 526: Why More Adults Are Remaining Virgins
More young adults are delaying their sexual debut, with growing numbers reaching their twenties or even thirties without ever having had sex. At the same time, virginity has become increasingly stigmatized, leaving many people feeling ashamed, isolated, or like they’re falling behind. So what’s driving this shift, and what does it tell us about how sex and dating are changing?My guests are Dr. Dan
Episode 525: The ADHD Guide To Better Sex (Essential Listen)
Despite how much we hear about ADHD, its impact on our intimate lives is often overlooked. Research suggests that around 40% of adults with ADHD experience at least one form of sexual dysfunction. ADHD can also contribute to frustration, misunderstanding, and conflict in relationships. In today's show, we’re revisiting a classic episode from the archives that takes a closer look at the interse
Episode 524: Essential Sex Advice For Women
Traditional sex education often skips topics like the clitoris, orgasm, sexual pain, and vaginal health, leaving many women to figure these things out all on their own. In this episode, we cover the sex advice every woman should know. We’ll discuss how to make sex more pleasurable, what to do about sexual pain and difficulty reaching orgasm, what you need to know about vaginal health and hygiene p
Episode 523: Real Stories of Non-Monogamy
Open relationships, polyamory, and consensual non-monogamy are receiving more attention than ever, yet they’re still surrounded by stereotypes and misconceptions. In her new book, Alyssa Shelasky moves beyond the debate by sharing the real-life stories of people navigating these relationships. In this episode, we explore what draws people to non-monogamy, what these relationships actually look lik
Episode 522: What People’s Sex Diaries Reveal About Modern Intimacy
Most of us only get small glimpses into other people’s sex lives, which can make our own experiences feel more unusual than they really are. But what happens when you spend years hearing the unfiltered truth about people’s desires, insecurities, relationships, and intimate experiences? In this episode, we explore what those stories reveal about modern sex and relationships.My guest is Alyssa Shela
Episode 521: An Intimacy Coordinator’s Tips For Better Sex
In the previous episode, we went behind the scenes of film and television to explore how intimacy coordinators help create authentic, safe, and compelling intimate scenes. But the lessons from this profession extend far beyond Hollywood. In this episode, we’re bringing those lessons into the bedroom to explore how they can help us build healthier, hotter, and more connected sex lives.
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Episode 520: How Sex Scenes Really Get Made
Sex scenes have been part of film and television for decades, but the way they’re created has changed dramatically. Today, many productions rely on intimacy coordinators to help choreograph intimate scenes while fostering safety, collaboration, and creativity on set. In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on this fascinating profession to explore how intimate scenes are actually made.
My
Episode 519: How To Revive A Dead Bedroom
In the previous episode, we explored why dead bedrooms happen and just how common they are. Today, we’re shifting from understanding the problem to finding solutions, with practical, evidence-based strategies for rebuilding intimacy, navigating desire discrepancies, and improving sexual communication. If you’re hoping to reconnect with your partner, this episode is for you.
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Episode 518: Why Dead Bedrooms Happen
In long-term relationships, couples sometimes find that their sex life gradually fades away. This might happen after having children, or following a stressful period at work. However, there isn’t always an obvious turning point. In today’s episode, we’re taking a closer look at why dead bedrooms happen, how common they are, and how to know when it’s time to seek help.
My guest is Dr. Lauren Fogel
Episode 517: The Business Of Artificial Intimacy
People are increasingly turning to AI for companionship. But behind every AI companion is a company that owns the technology, collects the data, and programs how these relationship work. So what happens when corporations become intermediaries in our most intimate relationships? In this episode, we’re diving into the ethics, risks, and future of AI intimacy.
I am joined once again by Bridget Todd,
Episode 516: The Rise Of AI Companionship
When people hear about someone falling in love with an AI companion, their first reaction is often disbelief. But as AI becomes woven into everyday life, more people are turning to it not just for information, but also for companionship, emotional support, friendship, and even intimacy. So what draws people into these relationships, and what can they teach us about human connection?
My guest is Br
Episode 515: Why We Disagree About Consent
One person sees coercion. Another sees miscommunication. Two people can watch the exact same scene and walk away with completely different interpretations. So why do stories about consent generate so much disagreement? In this episode, we’re exploring what film and television reveal about our cultural understanding of consent.
I am joined once again by Michele Meek, Ph.D. an author, filmmaker, and
Episode 514: The Ambiguity of Consent
Is consent alone enough to tell us whether a sexual experience was ethical, healthy, and/or mutually fulfilling? In this episode, we’re exploring the difference between consent and desire, why affirmative consent frameworks sometimes fall short, and what it means to think beyond consent when it comes to sexual ethics.
My guest is Michele Meek, Ph.D. an author, filmmaker, and professor who has publ
Episode 513: Inside The World Of Chastity Play
In this episode, we’re diving into the many ways that people incorporate chastity into their intimate lives. As we’ll discuss, you don’t neccessarily need a partner or even a chastity cage to explore it. We’ll look at the many different roles chastity can play, from solo exploration and relationship dynamics to gender affirmation and self-discipline.
I am joined once again by Paul Botto, the COO o
Episode 512: Why Chastity Turns People On
Historically, chastity was associated with suppressing sexual desire. Today, however, it often means something very different. For many people, it’s a way of exploring desire, anticipation, control, intimacy, and pleasure. In this episode, we’re diving into the psychology of chastity, including why people are drawn to it, who’s into it, and what it can teach us about human sexuality more broadly.
Episode 511: The Five Dimensions Of Sexual Desire
Why do some people need emotional connection to feel desire, while others are more responsive to novelty, touch, or fantasy? And why can the exact same sexual experience feel exciting one day and flat the next? In this episode, we explore the five dimensions of desire and how understanding your arousal architecture can transform your sex life.
I am joined once again by Kayna Cassard, a sex therapi
Episode 510: The Science Of Sexual Arousal
A lot of people think that if you’re attracted to someone, arousal should just naturally happen. But it’s not that simple. In this episode, we explore the science of sexual arousal, the many pathways through which desire can emerge, and how stress, trauma, burnout, and major life experiences can reshape our relationship with pleasure.
My guest is Kayna Cassard, a sex therapist, painful sex special
Episode 509: Out-Of-Control Sexual Behavior In Women
When people hear about “out-of-control” sexual behavior, they tend to think of men. But women can struggle with it too, and their experiences have often been overlooked or misunderstood because most of the research and treatment models were built around male experiences. Today, we’re exploring the psychology of out-of-control sexual behavior in women, and what people often get wrong about it.
Episode 508: When Your Sexuality Changes Later In Life
Most people think sexuality is something we figure out early in life. But for many people, major realizations about their sexuality don’t happen until much later, sometimes after decades in heterosexual relationships or marriages. Today, we’re exploring the psychology of coming out later in life and what happens when you discover aspects of your sexuality you never fully understood before.
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Episode 507: Is Non-Monogamy Right For You?
A lot of people are curious about non-monogamy. But there’s a big difference between liking the idea of it and knowing whether it genuinely fits your emotional needs, attachment style, and relationship temperament. So how do you know if non-monogamy is right for you? That’s what we’re exploring in this episode.
I am joined once again by Kate Loree, LMFT, a sex-positive psychotherapist, author, and
Episode 506: Trauma-Informed Non-Monogamy
People often think successful non-monogamy comes down to communication, boundaries, and relationship agreements. But underneath those conversations are deeper psychological dynamics involving attachment, emotional safety, and nervous system regulation. In today’s episode, we’re exploring what it means to approach consensual non-monogamy through a trauma-informed lens.
My guest is Kate Loree, LMFT,
Episode 505: How To Move Beyond Small Talk
Most people say they want deeper relationships and more meaningful connection, yet many conversations stay stuck at the surface level. We talk about work, schedules, the weather, or whatever else feels safe. So why is it so hard to move beyond small talk? In this episode, we’re exploring the science of meaningful conversation, from curiosity and attention to vulnerability, flirting, and emotional
Episode 504: Why We Avoid Connection (Even When We Crave It)
We live in a world where people are more digitally connected than ever, yet loneliness remains incredibly common. Most of us move through daily life surrounded by strangers while following an unspoken rule: don’t engage. In this episode, we’re exploring why humans are so socially cautious, but also why even brief conversations with strangers can meaningfully improve our happiness, health, and sens
Episode 503: Why Sexual Communication Feels So Hard
A lot of couples struggle to talk about sex because those conversations can feel incredibly vulnerable. And if the topic comes up at all, it’s often only when there’s a problem in the bedroom, which makes every discussion feel loaded with pressure, shame, defensiveness, or fear of rejection. In today’s episode, we’ll discuss how couples can communicate about intimacy in healthier and more producti
Episode 502: Rethinking Premature Ejaculation
When people talk about premature ejaculation, the conversation is usually framed around performance: lasting longer, gaining control, or somehow “fixing” the problem. But what if we’ve been thinking about this issue all wrong? In today’s episode, we explore a different way of understanding early ejaculation that’s less rooted less in performance and more in the nervous system, anxiety, shame, and
Episode 501: Masturbation Myths and the Science of Self-Pleasure
To celebrate Masturbation Month, we’re sharing a compilation of clips about self-pleasure. Masturbation Month traces back to 1995, when U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders stated that masturbation is a natural part of human sexuality and should perhaps be included in sex education. The political backlash ultimately led to her firing, and May 14 was later declared National Masturbation Day in her
Episode 500: How To Have Amazing Sex (Essential Listen)
Most of us know the basics of sex, but having truly great sex is another story. Today, we’re revisiting one of my favorite conversations from the archives about increasing sexual pleasure, deepening intimacy, and making sex more satisfying for everyone involved.
My guest is Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and author of the book Anatomy of Desire: 5 Secrets to Lasting Intimacy.
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Episode 499: Navigating Love and Relationships After Trauma
In the last episode, we explored how trauma shapes our relationships, intimacy, and emotional patterns. But the bigger question is: what do we do with that insight, and how do we start building healthier ways of connecting? Today, we’re talking about healing, supportive partnership, and what moving forward can actually look like after trauma.
I am joined once again by Dr. Heather MacIntosh, a psyc
Episode 498: The Hidden Ways Trauma Shows Up In Relationships
“Trauma” is a word you hear everywhere today, from social media to conversations about dating and relationships. But in psychology, it has a more precise meaning, and understanding it can help explain the patterns we see in how we think, feel, and connect. In this episode, we explore how trauma shows up in our relationships and sex lives.
My guest is Dr. Heather MacIntosh, a psychoanalyst and clin
Episode 497: Inside The World Of Breast Implants And Chest Surgery
More cosmetic surgeries are performed on the chest than almost anywhere else on the body, with breast implants leading the way. Not long ago, “bigger is better” defined the ideal, but we’re seeing a shift toward smaller, more natural results. So what’s driving that change? Today, we’re diving into the world of chest surgery, and what it reveals about beauty, power, and the making of the “ideal” br
Episode 496: How Breasts Became Erotic – The Surprising History
You might think that breasts are inherently sexual and that humans have always eroticized them. Historically, however, breasts haven’t always been seen this way, and even today, breasts are barely sexualized in some cultures. In today’s episode, we’re looking at the fascinating story behind how breasts became eroticized, and how the cultural meaning of breasts has changed over time.
My guest is Sa
Episode 495: Why Even Happy Couples Fight (And How To Do It Right)
A lot of people believe that if you’re in the “right” relationship, you shouldn’t fight. They think that conflict means something is wrong or that you’re incompatible. However conflict isn’t a failure—it’s inevitable. In today’s episode, we’re rethinking what conflict really means and how to navigate it in healthier, more constructive ways.
I am joined once again by Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, an award-
Episode 494: The Six Essential Ingredients For Lasting Love
We tend to think of love as something that just happens. You meet the right person, you feel a spark, and everything else just falls into place. However, love doesn’t come effortlessly. It’s something we build over time. In this episode, we’re exploring the key ingredients of lasting love and the everyday behaviors that keep love alive.
My guest is Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, an award-winning social psy
Episode 493: Straight Men Who Have Sex With Other Men
We tend to think about sexual orientation as a fixed identity that’s clear, stable, and easy to define. However, sexuality doesn’t fit into neat and tidy boxes like that. In this episode, we’re diving into the world of heterosexual man who want to have sex with other men, and what this tells us about the complexity of human sexuality.
I am joined once again by Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anony
Episode 492: Why So Many People Fantasize About Sharing Their Partner
Being turned on by the idea of sharing your partner with someone else is a surprisingly common sexual fantasy, and it’s something many couples are actively exploring in real life. In today’s show, we’re diving into a practice known as hotwifing, including how common it is and the psychology behind it.
My guest is Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous Podcast and author of the new book Strictly
Episode 491: Sex, Disability, And Barriers To Care
Sex education and sexual healthcare rarely meet the needs of persons with disabilities. From limited access to information to barriers in care, millions are being left out. Today, we’re breaking down where these gaps come from, how they show up in everyday life, and what inclusive care would actually look like.
I am joined once again by Dr. Kirsten Greer, a postdoctoral research fellow at the Kins
Episode 490: Why People Say Yes To Sex They Don’t Want
Wanting sex and consenting to sex aren’t the same thing. Sometimes we agree to sex we don’t want, and other times we turn down opportunities for sex we do want. Today, we’re going to explore the distinction between wantedness and consent, including common reasons people agree to sex that they don’t actually desire.
My guest is Dr. Kirsten Greer, a postdoctoral research fellow at the Kinsey Institu
Episode 489: How Poppers Changed Sex
Humans have always looked for ways to enhance sex, but some of the most popular tools weren’t even meant for that purpose at all. One drug, originally developed for heart conditions, made its way into nightlife and became closely tied to sex. In today’s episode, we’re talking all about poppers, including how they work, how they became linked to pleasure, and why they’re still so controversial.
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Episode 488: How Feet Became A Popular Fetish
When I surveyed more than 4,000 adults about their sexual fantasies for my book Tell Me What You Want, I found that 1 in 7 people had fantasized about feet or toes. In today’s episode, we’re exploring the fascinating history of foot fetishes, the psychology behind attraction to feet, and why men seem more likely to report this interest than women.
My guest is Adam Zmith is a writer and multi-forma
Episode 487: How To Make Online Dating Work For You
Dating apps make it seem like you can swipe your way to the perfect partner. But attraction isn’t something we can fully predict from profiles. It emerges through interaction. So what happens when we try to optimize something that’s inherently unpredictable? In this episode, we break down the psychology of online dating and how to approach it more effectively.
I am joined once again by Dr. Paul Ea
Episode 486: Why We’re So Bad At Predicting Romantic Compatibility
Most of us think we know what we’re looking for in a partner. We have a “type,” a mental checklist, and the belief that if someone checks enough boxes, everything else will fall into place. But decades of research suggest that attraction and compatibility don’t work that way. In this episode, we’ll unpack how attraction really unfolds and why chemistry is so hard to predict.
My guest is Dr. Paul E
Episode 485: The Surprising History Of Fetishes And Porn
Humans have always been kinky, but what we fetishize and why has changed over time. In this episode, we’re revisiting the fascinating history behind some of the most common fetishes. From leather and nylon to the enduring appeal of feet, we’ll unpack how culture, technology, and history shaped these desires. We’ll also dive into the unexpected history of pornography and explore how hentai emerged
Episode 484: Who’s Responsible for Your Orgasm? (Essential Listen)
How much do you really know about orgasms? In this episode, we answer common questions about climax and explore the concept of orgasm equity, including what it really means to close the orgasm gap. We’ll also discuss strategies for experiencing more pleasure, and whether becoming multi-orgasmic is something you can actually learn.
My guest is Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate
Episode 483: Making Relationship Agreements That Work
When people open a relationship, they often start by asking: what are the rules? But the real key to healthy non-monogamy isn’t rules. It’s clarity about needs, desires, and expectations. In this episode, we’re talking about how to design relationship agreements that actually work.
I am joined once again by Dr. Nicole Thompson, a sex and relationship psychotherapist and host of the popular podcast
Episode 482: Building Secure Non-Monogamous Relationships
Beginning a consensually non-monogamous relationship can trigger reactions you never saw coming. For example, the first time your partner connects with someone else, your body might react like there’s danger. So why is that? Today, we’re going to explore how to craft secure non-monogamous relationships and work skillfully with intense emotions that might arise along the way.
My guest is Dr. Nicole
Episode 481: Can Our Brains Handle Modern Dating?
Humans evolved for face-to-face courtship in small communities, where attraction unfolded gradually and choices were limited. Today, we’re navigating global dating markets, algorithms, AI recommendations, endless novelty, and constant rejection. So what happens when ancient mating psychology collides with modern technology?
I am joined once again by Dr. Justin Garcia, evolutionary biologist and Ex
Episode 480: The Evolution Of Love And Desire
Why do we fall in and out of love so quickly? Why does love feel intoxicating at first, but complicated over time? The answer may be simpler than we think: humans are animals. Our brains were shaped by ancient mating systems that developed long before dating apps and modern culture. So what does it mean to be an “intimate animal?” And how much of our love lives today are still being driven by our
Episode 479: Can Humor Make You Better In Bed?
Research shows that couples who bring playfulness into conversations about sex report greater satisfaction and emotional connection. A well-timed joke can lower defenses and make high-stakes topics feel safer. Today, we’re diving into how humor works inside relationships, and how it can be an effective tool, when used appropriately, to enhance sexual communication.
I am joined once again by Jenny
Episode 478: When Is Sex Funny? And When Is It Not?
Talking about sex is one of the hardest things for people to do. People want to communicate about desire, boundaries, and fantasies, but the conversation can feel painfully high-stakes. And yet, in one place, sex gets discussed openly in front of strangers: the comedy club. Today, we’re exploring why sex is so funny, how comedians navigate taboo topics, and the tightrope between normalizing sex an
Episode 477: Testosterone And Women’s Sexual Health
When we talk about hormones and women’s sexual health, the focus is almost always on estrogen. But testosterone also plays a key role in desire, arousal, and overall sexual well-being. Despite being labeled a “male hormone,” women produce (and need) it too. In this episode, we separate myth from fact about testosterone in women and why it remains one of the most overlooked topics in sexual medicin
Episode 476: The Bedroom Gap At MidLife
For many women, the menopause transition brings painful sex and low libido—issues that have long been endured in silence. Meanwhile, men have had access to highly effective sexual performance treatments for decades. The result is what my guest calls the bedroom gap: the widening divide in sexual expectations and capabilities between men and women in midlife.
I am joined by Dr. Maria Sophocles, a b
Episode 475: How To Have More Pleasurable Sex
When people think about great sex, they often picture what happens at the peak (i.e., the orgasm). But what if we stopped thinking about pleasure as a single moment and, instead viewed it as a cycle? In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the three phases of the pleasure cycle–wanting, liking, and learning–and discuss how cultivating each of them can transform your sex life.
I am joined once a
Episode 474: The New Rules Of Intimacy
Most people think of sexual consent as a simple yes-or-no question. But it’s rarely that clear-cut. In this episode, we unpack why consent is about more than permission, how power and context shape sexual choices, and what it means to build experiences that feel mutual, ethical, and genuinely good for everyone involved.
My guest is Dr. Nicole McNichols. She is an Associate Teaching Professor in th
Episode 473: The 5 Mindsets That Help Love Last
Knowing someone loves you is one thing. Actually feeling that love in your body and daily life is another—and that’s where many relationships get stuck. In this episode, we move from problem to solution, exploring five research-backed mindsets that help love land and deepen real connection.
I am joined once again by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University o
Episode 472: Why Being Loved Doesn’t Always Feel Like Love
You can be deeply loved—and still not feel it. In this episode, we’re exploring the gap between being loved and feeling loved, the myths that keep love from landing, and how modern life can amplify disconnection. If you’ve ever felt unseen, insecure, or lonely inside an otherwise good relationship, this conversation will help you understand why, and what you can do about it.
My guest is Dr. Sonja
Episode 471: Letting Go Of Someone You Can’t Let Go Of
Limerence is an intense state of romantic preoccupation where someone takes over your thoughts and emotions. It can feel exhilarating and even spark new love. But it can also become unhealthy, especially when the feelings are unrequited, inappropriate, or tied to someone who is unavailable or toxic. In this episode, we explore when limerence becomes a problem, and how to work through it.
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Episode 470: The Science of Romantic Obsession
Have you ever been unable to stop thinking about someone? They’re the first thing on your mind when you wake up and the last before you fall asleep. When they text, you’re ecstatic. When they don’t, you feel deflated. That experience has a name: limerence. In this episode, we unpack what it is, where it comes from, and why the brain can become so powerfully attached to another person.
My guest is
Episode 469: When The Unconscious Takes Over Your Sex Life
We often think good sex mostly comes down to physical technique. But many people feel disconnected from their bodies, stuck in their heads, or unable to access desire and pleasure. And that’s something technique alone can’t fix. Today, we’ll explore how attending to unconscious factors like shame, anxiety, and trauma can open the door to deeper pleasure.
I am joined once again by Juliane Maxwald,
Episode 468: What’s Beneath Your Sexual Problems Might Surprise You
When people experience sexual problems, the instinct is often to ask, “What’s wrong with me?” or “How do I fix this?” But what if those struggles are actually meaningful signals or clues that something deeper needs attention? In today’s show, we’re exploring a different way of understanding sexual difficulties: as doorways to unconscious emotional and relational truths.
My guest is Juliane Maxwald
Episode 467: Why Are People Into That?
When people hear about certain kinks, the reaction is often one of confusion or judgment. The question that comes up again and again is, “Why would anyone be into that?” Today, we’re exploring some lesser-known and often misunderstood kinks, not to sensationalize them, but to understand the psychology behind why different people are drawn to different things.
I am joined once again by Gigi Engle,
Episode 466: What People Get Wrong About Kink
When people hear the word “kink,” they often imagine something extreme. However, kink is actually far broader and more common than most people realize. In today’s show, we’re unpacking what kink is, what it isn’t, and why people want what they want. If you’ve ever wondered “why are people into that?”, this episode is for you.
My guest is Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationships psychotherapis
Episode 465: What Sex-Positivity Is, And What It’s Not
“Sex-positive” is a term that gets used a lot these days, but it doesn’t always mean the same thing to everyone. Sometimes it’s about sexual openness or enthusiasm, other times it’s about respect for sexual diversity, and sometimes it’s even used in coercive ways. In this episode, we explore what sex-positivity actually is, and what it isn’t.
I am joined once again by Dr. Carol Queen, the staff se
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