Ask The Betrayed
The Ask The Betrayed podcast offers hope and insight for betrayed partners dealing with the trauma of infidelity. Hosted by Sharon, a licensed therapist, and Rae, a life coach, both of whom have personally experienced betrayal, the show provides expert advice and a safe space for healing. It alternates weekly with its companion channel, Ask the Unfaithful.
Episodes
5 VULNERABILITIES THAT KEEP BETRAYED PARTNERS CAUGHT IN THE EFFECTS OF GASLIGHTING
Has the gaslighting stopped—but you still find yourself questioning your own thoughts, feelings, and reality? After betrayal, recognizing gaslighting is an important step toward healing. But what happens when you begin recovering from the initial trauma, only to discover that some of the most damaging patterns are still operating beneath the surface? Why do you keep second-guessing yourself? Why d
WHO SHOULD YOU TELL ABOUT THE BETRAYAL AND WHO SHOULD YOU NOT TELL?
Please Comment, Like and Subscribe - we would love to develop our community more and reach more people who need help! Thank you! After betrayal, the instinct to reach out for support can be overwhelming – and is necessary. You may desperately need someone who understands, someone who will listen, or simply someone who can remind you that you are not alone. But deciding who to tell about an affair
BETRAYAL RECOVERY: COMING BACK TOGETHER AFTER THERAPEUTIC SEPARATION? WATCH THIS FIRST
How do you come back together after a therapeutic separation—without slipping right back into the patterns that pulled you apart? A therapeutic separation can create much-needed space for healing, clarity, independence, and personal growth after betrayal. But eventually, couples who hope to reconcile face another difficult question: Are we actually ready to reconnect—and if we are, how do we do it
THERAPEUTIC SEPARATION: CAN BEING APART BRING YOU BACK TOGETHER AFTER BETRAYAL?
Could a therapeutic separation actually save your relationship after infidelity? Many couples fear that a separation means the marriage is over. But what if a carefully planned, intentional, and therapeutic separation could actually create the space needed for healing, clarity, and lasting recovery? In this episode of Ask the Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore one of the most misunderstood intervent
When Has The Unfaithful Had Enough Attention?
Are you constantly watching your unfaithful partner, hoping they'll finally make you feel safe again? After betrayal, it's completely understandable to focus on what your partner is doing. They're the source of the trauma. But what if true healing begins when your sense of safety no longer depends entirely on their choices? In this episode of Ask the Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore one of the mos
HOW TO TAKE BACK CONTROL OF YOUR HEALING AFTER BETRAYAL
Healing from betrayal trauma doesn't happen by accident. It happens one intentional step at a time. In this episode of Ask the Betrayed, Sharon Rinearson, LCSW, CCPS, and Rae explore practical tools and takeaways that can help betrayed partners become more intentional, thoughtful, and compassionate in their healing journey. From journaling and nervous system check-ins to goal setting, somatic inte
WHAT IF YOUR UNFAITHFUL DOESN'T WANT TO DO THE BETRAYAL RECOVERY WORK?
What if your unfaithful partner doesn't want to do the recovery work? One of the hardest realities after infidelity is realizing that you can't force someone to heal, grow, or fight for the relationship. So what do you do when you're the only one showing up? In this episode of Ask the Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore one of the most painful questions betrayed partners face: How do you move forward
S3 - A Simple Tool for Measuring Progress
Healing after betrayal doesn't always happen in big, obvious moments. Sometimes recovery looks like one calmer day. One difficult conversation handled differently. One moment where you feel a little more grounded than you did last week. In this Ask The Betrayed Short, Rae shares a simple but powerful tool for tracking your healing journey. Using this method, you can begin to see patterns in your e
IMPACT STATEMENTS: THE HEALING POWER OF SHARING THE IMPACT OF BETRAYAL WITH THE UNFAITHFUL
Have you ever wished your unfaithful partner could truly understand what betrayal has done to you? In this powerful episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore one of the most transformative tools in betrayal trauma recovery: the Impact Statement. An Impact Statement gives betrayed partners the opportunity to put words to the emotional, relational, sexual, spiritual, financial, vocational,
ATB Short S2 Momentum
Have you ever felt like the healing work you're doing after betrayal has stalled? In this deeply powerful short episode of Ask The Betrayed, Rae speaks directly to betrayed partners who feel stuck, plateaued, or discouraged in their healing journey after infidelity. Using a simple but unforgettable metaphor, Rae explores one of the hardest truths in betrayal recovery: 👉 Sometimes healing is happe
Feeling Unseen After Betrayal? This Is Why.
In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae take a deeper look at limerence—not just as something that happens in affairs, but as an often misunderstood part of all relationships… and what happens when that illusion breaks. If you've ever felt: • Used, unseen, or misunderstood in your relationship • Like your partner loved how you made them feel - not who you actually are • Confused abo
FROM FANTASY LOVE TO REAL HEALING AFTER BETRAYAL
What if the pain you feel after betrayal isn't just about the affair—but about realizing you were never fully seen? In this powerful episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore a rarely discussed layer of limerence in relationships—when the betrayed partner realizes they were not truly loved for who they are, but instead experienced as a fantasy, an emotional projection, or a source of val
SURVIVING LIMERENCE
When the unfaithful partner is in limerence, it can feel like emotional chaos - confusing, and deeply painful - for the betrayed partner. In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae break down what limerence really is, why it feels so powerful, and most importantly—how you can survive it without losing yourself. If your partner seems "in love" with someone else… If you feel compared, repla
EMPATHY IN ACTION - WHEN THE UNFAITHFUL IS TRYING, BUT THERE'S SOMETHING MISSING
What do you do when your partner is trying after infidelity… but they haven't yet moved from their head to their heart? In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae respond to a powerful listener question about a common but confusing stage of recovery: when the unfaithful partner says the right things, shows up, and is committed to healing—but still feels emotionally disconnected or "roboti
BETRAYED PARTNERS: HOW TO BE "ALL IN" WITHOUT LOSING YOURSELF
In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore one of the most misunderstood parts of infidelity recovery for the betrayed. After betrayal, everything changes. The relationship you believed in is gone, and you're left navigating uncertainty, ambivalence, and emotional disorientation. So how do you stay engaged, present, and "all in"… without losing yourself? This episode walks through
IS IT REASONABLE TO EXPECT EMOTIONAL AVAILABILITY FROM THE UNFAITHFUL DURING BETRAYAL RECOVERY?
Is it reasonable to expect the unfaithful to show up for your emotions after betrayal? In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae tackle one of the most common and painful questions betrayed partners ask: • "Is it fair to expect emotional availability?" • "Can I ask for empathy?" • "Am I asking for too much?" After infidelity, many betrayed partners feel confused or even guilty for wantin
Emotional Exhaustion During Recovery from Betrayal Trauma - A Powerful Solution
In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore one of the most misunderstood aspects of betrayal trauma recovery: Emotional exhaustion after infidelity and during betrayal recovery; what the betrayed can do about it and how the unfaithful can support them. After D-Day, many betrayed partners feel an instinctive pull to withdraw, create boundaries, or even consider therapeutic separati
Take Your Power Back After Infidelity: A Proven Betrayal Recovery Tool
In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore why betrayed partners so often internalize blame after infidelity — quietly keeping you stuck in pain, powerlessness, and re-traumatization. This conversation is about restoring choice, agency, and dignity in the middle of relational trauma. You'll learn how taking responsibility for what isn't yours can: • drain your emotional energy • f
Deconstructing Gaslighting: What Is It, Really?
Gaslighting after betrayal can make you question your memory, your emotions, and your reality — and that confusion is not weakness. It's a trauma response. In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Rae sits down with gaslighting specialist and CORE Relationship Recovery team member Sarah Morales (SarahMoralesCoaching.com) to break down what gaslighting actually is, why it's so damaging after infidelity
STOP BLOCKING YOUR OWN BETRAYAL RECOVERY PROCESS
In this episode, Sharon and Rae unpack a surprisingly common barrier to healing after betrayal trauma — "Cat Poster Thinking" the mindset of believing "I already know how this works" or relying on clichés, platitudes, and intellectual over-control to cope. And while it may feel protective, it can quietly block real growth, connection, and emotional transformation. This episode also helps the Unfa
SHORTS S1 - HOPE: CHOOSING TO BELIEVE THAT HEALING IS POSSIBLE
In this episode of Ask The Betrayed - Shorts, Sharon speaks directly to anyone feeling shattered, lost, or hopeless after infidelity. She explains why betrayed partners often cling to the hope that the old relationship can be restored—and why real hope comes from something deeper: rebuilding your sense of self, your worth, and your inner clarity. Sharon shares personal insight, including the momen
CAN GRATITUDE AND THE PAIN OF BETRAYAL COEXIST?
In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore what gratitude really looks like in the wake of infidelity — without toxic positivity, forced silver linings, or emotional self-betrayal: • Not having to pretend you're okay • Not minimizing the trauma Learn why gratitude gets complicated during the holidays where it seems to be expected, how survivors toggle between grief and glimpses of
SECRET WEAPONS AGAINST BEING MISUNDERSTOOD
In this vulnerable and transformative episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae dive into one of the most universal pain points for betrayed partners: being misunderstood. Whether it's feeling dismissed, judged, minimized, or simply unseen, betrayal trauma magnifies how deeply we need to be understood — and how hard it can be to communicate our truth. Drawing from decades of clinical experience
MYTH BUSTERS - Exposing Blocks to Betrayal Recovery
In this practical episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae tackle some of the most common and destructive myths that keep betrayed partners trapped in confusion, guilt, and fear after infidelity. From "This pain will last forever" to "If I can keep them from acting out, I'll be safe" they dismantle the cultural and emotional myths that block healing—and replace them with compassionate, realit
Big Fat Lies We Tell Ourselves in Betrayal Recovery
In this powerful episode of Ask the Betrayed, Sharon and Rae expose the Big Fat Lies that keep betrayed partners trapped in pain and confusion after infidelity. From the cultural myths of "Good things happen to good people" to the heartbreaking belief that "Once a cheater, always a cheater," this conversation dismantles the false stories that sabotage healing. Together, they share real-life exampl
Spot the 7 Traps That Stop Infidelity Recovery In Its Tracks
When infidelity shatters a relationship, recovery doesn't fail because of one event—it stops because of the traps that keep couples' relational recovery stuck. In this powerful episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae expose the seven relational pitfalls that derail healing after betrayal. They share raw personal stories, real client examples, and the emotional truth behind why so many couples
FROM SILENCE TO STRENGTH: FINDING YOUR VOICE AFTER INFIDELITY
Have you ever felt like no matter how loudly you speak, your unfaithful partner still doesn't hear you? In this episode of Ask the Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore what it means for betrayed partners to find their voice after infidelity. 👉 Betrayal trauma often silences partners. Years of being dismissed, gaslit, or ignored leave many questioning whether their truth even matters. Healing begins wh
Is The Unfaithful Really Sorry of Just Sorry They Got Caught
Are they truly sorry—or just sorry they got caught? In this powerful episode of Ask the Betrayed, Sharon and Rae unpack one of the most pressing questions betrayed partners ask after infidelity. Together, they explore how to recognize genuine remorse versus surface-level regret and why that distinction matters for recovery. You'll learn: ✅ The difference between remorse (healing-focused) and regre
Feeling Stuck After Betrayal? Here's What to Do.
Feeling stuck after betrayal? You're not alone. In this episode of Ask the Betrayed, we unpack what it really means to feel "stuck" in your healing journey—why it happens, what it looks like, and most importantly, how to move forward. We explore: ✅ The signs of being stuck (numbness, looping thoughts, discouragement, going through the motions) ✅ Why trauma can trap betrayed partners in cycles of s
The Superpower of Compartmentalization in Betrayal Recovery
In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore a new skill in betrayal recovery — compartmentalization. While extremely harmful to the Betrayed when used by the Unfaithful, compartmentalization can also become a powerful ally in healing when a Betrayed Partner uses it in an intentional way. You'll discover: • The difference between healthy compartmentalization and harmful avoidance •
The Boundary Strategy EVERY Betrayed Partner NEEDS
In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae share a powerful new approach to boundaries—one that moves beyond rules and lines in the sand. Instead of focusing on "do this, don't do that," this episode helps betrayed partners: ✅ Reclaim their power and choice after betrayal ✅ Create boundaries that protect and empower ✅ Learn how to respond instead of react to triggers ✅ Understand the diff
Hidden Betrayal Trauma Triggers: How to Handle Being Blindsided
In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore the hidden triggers that blindside betrayed partners during recovery. From weddings and social gatherings to seemingly small moments like TV shows, public spaces, and holidays—unexpected triggers can shake your sense of stability. They don't just talk about the problems—they give you practical tools and real-life strategies to help you re
Betrayal Trauma: Healing the Disconnection with Yourself
In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae dive into the third stage of betrayal trauma recovery: Post-Traumatic Growth - also known as the Reconnection Phase. This is the season when survivors begin shifting from survival to strength. Sharon and Rae unpack what it means to reconnect not only with others - but also with your truest self. You'll hear personal stories, insights, and practic
Betrayal Trauma: Navigating Grief After Infidelity
Grief after infidelity isn't just about the loss of trust—it's about mourning the relationship you thought you had. In this powerful episode, we explore the hidden terrain of betrayal trauma grief and mourning that betrayed partners navigate as they continue their journey toward healing and wholeness. For many betrayed partners, the emotional pain is disorienting, isolating, and often invisible to
Betrayal Trauma Recovery: Why Safety Must Come First
If you've been shattered by betrayal, you may be asking: Where do I even begin? This episode takes you to the very first step in betrayal trauma recovery—the phase of safety and stabilization. Before you can move toward forgiveness, reconciliation, or even understanding, you need something much more urgent: ground beneath your feet. In this episode, we explore what safety actually means in the con
Life After Betrayal: Honest Talk with Two Experts
Welcome to the very first episode of Ask The Betrayed, where Sharon and Rae create a safe, honest, and deeply compassionate space for those navigating betrayal trauma. In this episode, you'll meet your hosts—Sharon, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and APSATS-certified trauma specialist, and Rae, a Certified Life, Relationship, and Divorce Recovery Coach. Together, they share their personal and p
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