Rude Tales of Magic

Mall Quiet on the Western Front Oct 13, 2026 00:59:27 Our heroes head into the Infinity Mall, a place full of endless possibilities...and endless possibilities (bad version).Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Mic

[Unlocked] Opera & Sherry #1! Sep 29, 2026 01:09:12 It's the 5th Tuesday of the month, so you know what that means...releasing bonus content out from behind the paywall!!! *Airhorn* *Airhorn*Tell your friends, Rude Tales done did Frasier.For this PATREON GAME OF THE MONTH, Branson invites Ali, Joe, and Tim to the ancient land of Seattle where three urban snobs, one president of the wine club, and one incredible restaurant taunt you into li

[Patreon Preview] Opera & Sherry #2 Sep 22, 2026 00:08:11 Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the Seattle...Wanna hear the rest of this incredible episode? Well it's a Patreon Exclusive, so you're gonna want to head there and subscribe now! We'll be releasing one-shots like this each and every month, so subscribe today to hear 'em all and enjoy all the other incredible perks of patreon satisfaction and the deep satisfaction that come

This Is Bus Sep 15, 2026 00:53:40 With the strange of events of the Long Weekend behind them, our heroes can finally get back to what's really important: their studies! How is Scooter's Honors History project going, anyways? Wait? What do you mean? It's not going to be a just a regular, uneventful day at school? It's going to be *gulp* a field trip?? Oh boy....Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's pro

Intro to Botany Sep 1, 2026 00:53:44 While Mikey, Briley, and Scooter would love to get back to the Carton Family Brunch, they instead are confronted by mild-mannered Diner employee Giles Waiterman, who has some surprising revelations to share. You mean to tell me this Oxford-educated British man who waits tables in a diner outside Columbus, Ohio and has a particular interest in our heroes may be more than he appears?!? Now

[Patreon Preview] Lassos & Cowpokes! Aug 25, 2026 00:08:11 The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly? More like the Rude, the Tales, of the Magic! Saddle up, pardners, for the rootinest, tootinest, podcastinest bonus content this side of the Rio Grand!Wanna hear the rest of this incredible episode? Well it's a Patreon Exclusive, so you're gonna want to head there and subscribe now! We'll be releasing one-shots like this each and every month, so subscribe t

In the Gust of Snakes Aug 18, 2026 00:47:50 How many snakes must a teen absorbBefore you call her a Beast?How many snakes must her friends fight off?Before she tries to eat them?The answer, my friend, is gustin' in the snakesThe answer is gustin' in the snakesFollow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and

Long Weekend Aug 4, 2026 01:03:25 Our heroes have finally accepted their roles as, well, heroes! Hope just as this happens, shocking revelations about their powers don't threaten to tear them apart!! I'm a guy who hates compelling narratives!Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Bu

[Patreon Preview] Scyllas & Charybdises! Jul 31, 2026 00:08:10 The Podcasting Gods have come down from Mount Podlympus and taken the shape of swans to bestow upon you this bonus game. Enjoy, mortals! What wisdom, your Gods must have, to record a podcast so timely!Wanna hear the rest of this incredible episode? Well it's a Patreon Exclusive, so you're gonna want to head there and subscribe now! We'll be releasing one-shots like this each and every mon

Heroes Don't Suck Jul 21, 2026 00:52:49 The Chess Club would hate it if you listened to this episode. Unless...that's one of their deft gambits, tricking you into listening to the episode??Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features a

What Will Happen At The Sophomore Assembly? Jul 7, 2026 01:09:45 The Sophomore Assembly has long been shrouded in mystery? What exactly happens when the doors of the auditorium close? No one will say. But our heroes are about to find out. And so will you, if you just hit 'play' on your podcast app of your choosing! Go ahead, do it!Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Speci

[Patreon Preview] Rodents and Chivalry #2! DM'ed by Branson! Jun 30, 2026 00:10:13 As a June with 5 Tuesdays, we simply had no choice but to share with our beloved listeners (you) a second Patreon Game of the Month! Your cup overfloweth! And this time? It's filled with Elderberry Cordial! Following our legendary, original Rodents & Chivalry game, Branson boldly takes the DM chair and presents his own adventure in a mouse-filled alley. Join, Ali, Tim, and Joe in this

Gulp Jun 23, 2026 01:01:45 Some things are hard to swallow.Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all

Soup Du Jour Jun 9, 2026 00:50:11 Hey, the kids've gotta eat somehow!Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for a

[Patreon Preview] Oozes and Ninjas! Jun 2, 2026 00:11:21 RUDE TALES BONE CON OOZES & NINJASRUDE TALES BONE CON OOZES & NINJASRUDE TALES BONE CON OOZES & NINJASSUBSCRIBE FOR THE FULL EP- THIS A PREVIEW!Wanna hear the rest of this incredible episode? Well it's a Patreon Exclusive, so you're gonna want to head there and subscribe now! We'll be releasing one-shots like this each and every month, so subscribe today to hear 'em all and en

Auditions May 26, 2026 01:02:36 Our heroes don't use their powers much this episode, but boy oh boy do people smoke in high school! If you like "smoking cigarettes in and around high school, during the day, alongside teachers" this is YOUR episode. Enjoy!Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Pa

Ooh La La in the House! Ooh La La! May 12, 2026 01:00:05 Our heroes meet a strange child in a basement. Good news: he's facing them-not a Blair Witch situation. Phew. Bad News? He's still a creepy little freak! Afterwards, the gang gets hungry, but what's still open this late? Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Be

[Patreon Preview] Opera & Sherry, DM'ed by Branson! May 5, 2026 00:10:31 Well baby I hear the podcast a callin?!Here's a preview of our latest Patreon Game of the Month, Opera & Sherry, GM'ed by Branson and starring Ali, Joe, and Tim!Wanna hear the rest of this incredible episode? Well it's a Patreon Exclusive, so you're gonna want to head there and subscribe now! We'll be releasing one-shots like this each and every month, so subscribe toda

Something Amazing Apr 28, 2026 01:00:12 Over the course of 4 episodes, our heroes have experienced so much. Love and loss, heartbreak and joy. And if you think about it, they've almost completed one whole calendar day of the school year. How could so much happen in such a short time? That's youth I guess. But what if, at this late hour, something new happened. Something...Amazing??PLUS: What is Twist McCallum shoveling?Follow u

Text Education Apr 14, 2026 00:53:30 Reeling from the events of the previous two episodes (meeting an alien, mysterious powers, homeroom icebreakers, etc.), the gang finishes their first day of school and heads to the McChristmas basement to debrief. Hopefully more trouble won't find them there...Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Sp

[Patreon Preivew] Tommyguns and Fuggedaboutits! GM'ed by Branson! Apr 7, 2026 00:08:10 Here's a preview of our first Patreon Game of the Month, Tommyguns and Fuggedaboutits, GM'ed by Branson and starring Ali, Joe, and Tim! Wanna hear the rest of this incredible episode? Well it's a Patreon Exclusive, so you're gonna want to head there and subscribe now! We'll be releasing one-shots like this each and every month, so subscribe today to hear 'em all and enjoy all the other in

Life is a Hallway Mar 31, 2026 01:01:16 The School Bell Rings. Homeroom. Paths Diverge. Halls are monitored.Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates bri

[New Campaign Premiere] An Odd Event Mar 17, 2026 01:04:31 Ah, Sophomore year. For many American High Schoolers, it truly is one of the most Second High School Years. It certainly is for Mikey McChristmas (Branson Reese), Briley Brynn Bailey (Ali Fisher), and Scooter Carton (Joe Lepore) At Foxmenville, Ohio's own Blue Kindness High. But what if a school year was more than just "the second one"? What if it was the start of a strange adventure test

BLUE KINDNESS HIGH: COMING TUESDAY MARCH 17 Mar 12, 2026 00:01:09 Summer's over, losers! Get in!Coming this Tuesday, March 17th, is the premiere of our next thrilling Rude Tale: BLUE KINDNESS HIGH.Action! Adventure! Suburbs! Mystery! Drama! Extracurriculars! All this and more comes to your precious ears in a few short days, as we begin the saga that is sophomore year for Scooter Carton (Joe Lepore), Mikey McChristmas (Branson Reese), and Briley Brynn Ba

BLUE KINDNESS HIGH SESSION ZERO w/Tim, Ali, Branson, and Joe! Mar 3, 2026 01:15:13 Blue Kindness High is almost here! Ali, Branson, and Joe sit down with our Game Master Tim Platt to reveal their characters, their secrets, and—buckle up!—their favorite high school classes!!Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, a

UNLOCKED! Rude Talks of Chatting for Nethermurk 36 & Campaign Wrap-Up Feb 27, 2026 01:51:55 Out from behind the walls of Patreon, it's Rude Talks of Chatting for Nethermurk 36, the whole campaign, and what's next...NETHERMURK HAS ENDED WITH IT'S INCREDIBLE FINALE "SUNDOWNING"! Listen to the WHOLE CAST answer questions, razz each other, announce futures, and sing!Catch more bonus chats like this and all sorts of stuff at our Patreon.Follow us on bluesky for goodnes

BONUS Game: Sense & Feelings! Feb 19, 2026 01:45:09 Wanna watch this episode? Check it out on the Rude Tales Youtube!REGENCY ENGLAND: When the three youngest Godzilla sisters attend a Garden Party given by their elder sister, will they be able to find the eligible suitors of their dreams? Or will their hopes for advantageous marriages gulp go up in flames?? Join the cast of Rude Tales of Magic as they bring you a wickedly twisted Austen ta

Sundowning Feb 17, 2026 01:18:10 Will all the light be eaten? Will our heroes survive? Will anything slime-related happen? All this and more, in the thrilling finale of RUDE TALES OF MAGIC: NETHERMURKFollow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak&nb

A Visit to Baltimore! Feb 3, 2026 00:47:29 The gang takes a helicopter ride!Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and am

Night Trial Live! Jan 20, 2026 00:54:28 The party reaches the surface. Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambi

HUMANS Jan 6, 2026 01:04:23 Note: This Program Does Not Endorse the Lifestyle of the NPCs of this EpisodeMERCH ALERT! For the Holidays, we've re-released a bunch of classic designs out from the vault along with some new designs too! Check it all out in our store!Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as

Yuletide Kombat Family V: DARK SLEIGH Dec 23, 2025 01:21:10 Every year, as the days grow short and a chill flies upon the wind (unless you're in the Southern Hemisphere!! Sorry y'all), the most dangerous Holiday Characters enter the arena in search of Yuletide glory. BUT THIS YEAR...That Arena? A dang Race Course like Mario Kart!Those Characters? Dark, twisted versions of your holiday faves.It's YULETIDE KOMBAT FAMILY V: DARK SLEIGHYuletide Kombat

Hot Hot Hot! Dec 9, 2025 00:54:03 The denizens of the Nethermurk race to the surface. Ulysses and Studio make important discoveries. The Mosquitos awaken. We visit a museum!MERCH ALERT! For the Holidays, we've re-released a bunch of classic designs out from the vault along with some new designs too! Check it all out in our store!Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to

Coming Right Web! Nov 25, 2025 01:07:10 Endrizzi learns something very important about himself, and we visit the surface.Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaë

Bell Ringers Nov 11, 2025 00:47:56 In this episode, Christopher Hastings plays a talking skeleton!The BIG Oh These, Those Stars of Space! 100th Episode spectacular is out! Head over to the These Those Patreon and subscribe today so you can hear it!Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and B

Regnum Caelorum Oct 28, 2025 01:04:20 Our Heroes enter the "Kingdom of Heaven", and find some of what they're looking for, and a stadium-sized amount of what they didn't.The BIG Oh These, Those Stars of Space! 100th Episode spectacular is out! Head over to the These Those Patreon and subscribe today so you can hear it!Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to conta

Oh These, Those Stars of Space! Episode 100: "Mirror, Mirror on the Star..." Preview! Oct 23, 2025 00:11:36 Did you know- we make another podcast?? And we've made 100 episodes of it?? It's true! For your beautiful rude ears, here's a preview of the 100th Oh These Those Stars of Space Spectacular, "Mirror, Mirror, on the Star..."What lies on the other side of the mirror? What if it was not a perfect reflection of your normal, hot self, but something...darker?? In this episode, the characters of

HamsterX Dot Com Oct 14, 2025 00:50:10 If you think something is wrong about the title of this episode, maybe think about what that says about you!!!The BIG Oh These, Those Stars of Space! 100th Episode spectacular is next week- head over to the These Those Patreon and subscribe today so you can hear it the moment it drops!Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us,

Christmas Comes But Once a Summer! (Nice Tales of Friendship Fall Spectacular!) Sep 30, 2025 01:06:45 Oh gosh! Is it true? Christmas in Summer?? What is this- Australia? Not at all, though Australia is a wonderful country where they call Burger King Hungry Jack's! For in the world of NICE TALES OF FRIENDSHIP, there's always two summers! And this time, Ryan Cinnamon (Ali Fisher) and Lovely Heaven (Tim Platt) are on hand to help Summer Santa (Christopher Hastings) in his hour of need. I jus

All Rats, All Rats, All Rats... Sep 16, 2025 01:00:26 Deep in the belly of the beast, Uly, Paris, and Lemon, concoct an elaborate ruse to deceive the elves in their midst. Meanwhile, Linus finds much more straightforward ways of solving problems. Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button,

Going No Contact Sep 2, 2025 00:48:26 Our heroes head deep into God's Descent, where they'll find: Unexpected AlliesUnexpected EnemiesA Ton of ElvesUhh yeah, let me be the first to say: UH OH!!!Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejam

Get Slimed!!! Aug 19, 2025 00:56:52 You'll never guess what we multiply by the population of Tokyo in this one. ALSO: The party finally faces off with the Light Eater.Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features

Short Times at Pixie High Aug 5, 2025 00:48:12 We turn back the page, and with the combined power of storytelling and Hollywood de-aging CGI, we tell a formative tale from Lemon's youth? Will it somehow inform their modern race through the hospital to escape the Light Eater? Wouldn't that be something...Follow us on bluesky for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Speci

The Bounty Becomes the Hunted (With Special Guests the Fool's Gold Crew!) Jul 22, 2025 01:08:11 Just as our heroes reunite with Lemon, they find themselves targeted by three deadly Bounty Hunters (Dingo, Felix Irnich, and Avery Howett) with a certain piece of special jewelry in their sights! Hope it's not that ring Paris is especially fond of...For more from the Fools Gold crew, including their D&D campaign setting, massive Tarrasque figurine, and Youtube series, head to foolsgo

Emergency Room Family Reunion Jul 8, 2025 00:58:38 Our party finally arrives at the strange and twisted hospital of Cruncho. Surely madness won't await them inside? Ok, ok, IF madness awaits inside, surely a reunion with a friend and *gulp* family member won't also await them inside?? AND RIDDLES??? HAVE YOU PUT EVERYTHING IN THIS EPISODE, SIR?Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to co

Conclave (2025) Jun 24, 2025 01:12:53 A death. Smoke. A return. An Election. Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes

Silence is Golden Jun 10, 2025 00:57:33 Shh!Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of

A Chocolate, if You Can Keep It May 27, 2025 01:06:07 Nothing wrong with being an impressionable young lad, I say! Unless, of course, you run into some... bad influences.Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sou

"Oh, Brother!" May 13, 2025 00:45:36 WARNING: This Episode Contains Spoilers for the 2013 Novel The Goldfinch, by Donna Tartt.Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi

Boat Funeral! Apr 29, 2025 00:55:15 Our heroes say goodbye to some fallen friends, but in the twisted world of Nethermurk? They've never even heard of a bereavement policy, friend. That's right, the gang finds themselves in Diatopolis- the beating, evil heart of the enemy. But could it also be...more?Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things consider

Rodents & Chivalry Apr 22, 2025 01:43:33 Hey! Before you do anything, catch almost thirty minutes of bonus footage (plus other full-length games, behind-the-scenes chats, original art, and more!) at our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rudetalesofmagic , or watch this episode on our Youtube!A warrior squirrel. A wily old hare. An intrepid little mole. A skunk monk (skmonk). Join the cast of Rude Tales of Magic as we play a rioto

Listen to This Podcast to See if You're an Introvert! Apr 15, 2025 01:12:39 Studio Ghibli and the creature known only as Ranger lead their flock of spider children on a relentless pursuit of Agrigenta and Fingerdale. Hi, new listeners! Hope that synopsis was straightforward for you!Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and

Lunch is Always Fun With Friends (New Campaign Kickoff! 500th Episode!) Apr 1, 2025 01:08:03 500th Episode Spectacular, and the start of a new campaign??!? Well that's pretty nice, if you ask me!!When Park Rangers Quincy Ampersand (Joe Lepore), Wendy Baleen (Carly Monardo), and Charlie Chucklebutt (Ali Fisher) enjoy a lunch break on a beautiful spring day, it feels like absolutely nothing can go wrong. And don't worry, by the end of the episode, our heroes are all happy and alive

The Only Good Elf Mar 18, 2025 00:56:33 Lemon finds herself alone, facing impossible odds against- you guessed- the Fungalganger. Meanwhile, Linus, Uly, and Paris search for answers on a ship that may not be above water for very long. And what if, thrown into the mix, was a legendary warrior, the one Dark Elf cursed-with goodness?? Well who knows what could happen...Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! An

You've Got Mail 2: You've Still Got Mail Mar 4, 2025 00:52:26 Now that Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) has finally found love in-of all places-the heart of Book Megastore tycoon Joe Fox (Tom Hanks), she thinks she has it all. But when Joe heads off to open the world's largest bookstore across the pond, can his same old emails compete with the new missives she starts receiving from a mysterious stranger? And when former employee-turned-online-bookseller Ge

Introducing Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode Feb 24, 2025 01:57:49 BEEP BEEP! Special Guest Pod on the Feed!Three minions are left alive after the dungeon where they work is ransacked by "heroes." Led by gamemaster Amy Vorpahl, two skeletons (Danielle Radford and Dan Casey) and a goblin (Jason Nguyen) set out to see if they can escape the pit into which they've fallen, find their friends, and get back to serving their overlord. Goblin Mode is also availa

Weird Guys on Boats Feb 18, 2025 00:46:19 Finally our heroes do the unthinkable: meet a bunch of weird guys on boats! Watch out, folks! First two podcast rows will get wet!And meanwhile: A shoe repair appointment takes an interesting turn...Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler B

A Big Bad Baptism Feb 4, 2025 01:04:21 With Studio Ghibli (Joe Lepore) and the creature known only as "Ranger" (Tim Platt) in hot pursuit of Agrigenta, it's only a matter of time before they find her and stop her wild machinations. That is, as long as they don't run into a truly strange parade. A strange parade indeed...Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, al

No Lemon, No Party Jan 21, 2025 00:52:09 With Lemon captured by the villainous Agrigenta Salumeria and her devious parasite Fingerdale, Linus, Uly, and Paris have no choice but to discuss the evolution of the Sid Meier's Civilizati—rescue her! And when Lemon and her captors reach Pennsylvania Base Camp, you know that can only mean one thing: Intercourse!Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probabl

Blood Drive Jan 7, 2025 00:48:07 Uh Oh! Our heroes are trapped in the clutches of Sanguina Bob, Paris is still covered in Neon Black, Uly seems to be getting stranger-sorry, more human- by the minute, it's getting to be too much! I just hope, and pray, that plot lines don't begin to shockingly converge!!Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things co

[UNLOCKED] Wealthy Poorson's Nethermurk Almanack: Water Dec 30, 2024 00:06:55 As a special end of year treat for you, our finest listeners, we're unlocking a taste of some of the dee-lectable bonus content you can find on our PATREON! We can't make the show without our beautiful Patreon supporters- you seem beautiful, shouldn't you be one of them?Wealthy Poorson, one of the 10 richest Batpeople in the Nethermurk, used his immense fortune to travel every inch of our

Yuletide Kombat 2024: PROM EDITION Dec 24, 2024 01:00:00 Every year, the Rude Tales crew plays Yuletide Kombat Family, an amazing adventure where holiday characters fight each other to save Christmas (I think?). This year, however, the battle is PROM-THEMED! How? Why? Who? Huh? All will be answered in YULETIDE KOMBAT FAMILY IV: PROM!Yuletide Kombat Family is invented, GM’d, produced, and sound designed by Tim Platt. Editing from Sam Grant with

[PATREON PREVIEW] Goblin With a Fat Ass, GM'ed By Carly! Dec 18, 2024 00:19:17 "Silent night, holy night"? Fat chance! This holiday season, we're treating you to a fully produced bonus game from the Rude Crew: Tom Bloom's "Goblin With A Fat Ass". Run and produced by Rude Tales of Magic's Carly Monardo, this very special episode introduces Rude Tales of Magic: Nethermurk's GM, Christopher Hastings, Joe Lepore (Rude Tales of Magic) and Branson "Rude Tales of

Portrait of a Problem Dec 10, 2024 00:51:19 The gang enters the mosquito temple. Will they survive it's many dangers? Well with Paris blinded and covered in unending darkness...could go either way!Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!This episode features additional sound d

You've Got Nail Nov 26, 2024 00:55:00 As our heroes prepare to enter the Mosquito Temple in search of God's Blood, we turn to a darker corner of these creepy caves. Agrigenta (Carly Monardo) and Studio Ghibli (Joe Lepore) remain trapped in the Neon Black after killing the popular band Containment, but will a mysterious creature known only as "Ranger" (Tim Platt) be able to rescue them? Or does a stranger newcomer (Branson Ree

A Light Snack Nov 12, 2024 00:52:15 Alt Title: Somebody's Going to Emergency, Somebody's Getting their Light EatenSome Personal News: All of our classic live shows are up for sale in our Patreon Shop! You don't have to be a patron to purchase (though Patrons do get sweet discounts), so what are you waiting for? would you pass up the chance to reunite with Naughty Nico??Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's

Blood Tales of Depravity III: A Graveyard Smash Oct 29, 2024 01:30:20 ...And so it was foretold, when the clock struck October and that first chill was felt on the wind, when children would gambol about in foolish costumes begging for treats, and Rude Tales of Magic would have a third release week in a month, that they would pause their beloved ongoing narrative (Nethermurk: In Theaters Now!), and turn their tales from Rude...to BLOOD.When three of New York

A Nice Dead City On A Lake Oct 15, 2024 01:02:15 Just when they think they've escaped the forest of carnivorous plants, the gang finds themselves in a tiny echo-pocket of air surrounded by a freezing lake full of *gulp* sharks! Will they ever reach Culicidan, City Con Carne? Or are they quickly devoured by sharks and most of this episode is just looping lake wave sound effects? Listen to find out!Follow us on twitter for goodn

Bush Did It Oct 1, 2024 01:14:15 Our Heroes travel upwards. But in some cruel twist of fate, only greater dangers await them?? Dang! I thought they were already through the vexing obstacles!!!Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!This episode features additional s

Tim Platt's TEETH LIKE BEAK: SNEAK BEAK Sep 25, 2024 00:10:19 This clip contains a sneak peak of Tim Platt's debut comedy album TEETH LIKE BEAK out Monday, 9/30. If you're interested, please pre-save on Spotify or pre-order on iTunes here.If you're in the NYC area, Tim's doing an album release show/party at Littlefield on Monday, 9/30! You can get tix and more info here.If you want to see Tim perform in Chicago, DC, LA, or Seattle, grab tix here.See

Catechism and Containment (with Special Guest James Adomian) Sep 17, 2024 01:15:21 Mamma Mia! We turn from our heroes' journey to train our narrative eye to another side of the thrilling world of Nethermurk. Following the Dark Elves' capture of peaceful Wingslip, Elfiscuri agents Agrigenta Salumeria (Carly Monardo), Vocal Monument (Tim Platt), and Studio Ghibli (Joe Lepore) attempt to use two VIP prisoners- CONTAINMENT's own Kevin (Branson Reese) and G.G. Containment (J

The Secret of the Hot Dogs Sep 3, 2024 00:56:23 Have you ever wondered: what is inside a Hot Dog?WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST:  Oh These Those Stars of Space!  In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself for NOTHING.Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney

Welcome to Batplebees Aug 20, 2024 01:07:27 The party, now fully assembled, ventures in to the Bat town of Wingslip for some much-needed sustenance at Batplebee's. But what awaits them there? Danger? Parental Discipline? Delicious Appetizers? All this...and more???WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST:  Oh These Those Stars of Space!  In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself fo

[New Campaign Premiere] All God's Creatures Aug 6, 2024 01:11:10 WELCOME TO NETHERMURKSo many strange things lie below, cut off from the surface, at home in the deepest, darkest caves. Who would dare tell their story? Surely not the brave and good-looking cast of Rude Tales of Magic. Unless-no! They wouldn't! Would they??? Goddamn. They just might be crazy enough to do it. WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST:  Oh These Those Stars of Space!  I

Bears! The Blessing of the Obelisk Part 4 Jul 23, 2024 01:07:04 Our heroes finally learn where the honey has been hiding all these many years. But will such knowledge come without a price? And will that price not be a yellow liquid (honey) but a red one (blood)? And hey, what ever happened to that Obelisk anyways?Wanna hear Tim's Original Honey Heist adventure that birthed this summer treat? Well then you're gonna want to head to the Patreon, par

Bears! The Blessing of the Obelisk Part 3 Jul 9, 2024 00:55:23 When Moriarty Newman makes an offer, is it one you can't refuse? Is it one you'd turn on your allies for? Is it one one that will bring you closer to... honey?Wanna hear Tim's Original Honey Heist adventure that birthed this summer treat? Well then you're gonna want to head to the Patreon, pardner!WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST:  Oh These Those Stars of Space!  In all si

Bears! The Blessing of the Obelisk Part 2 Jun 25, 2024 01:00:26 In which the party details their sordid pasts, encounters some avian wildlife, enters a mysterious structure, and meets- no! It can't be! ::gasps::Wanna hear Tim's Original Honey Heist adventure that birthed this summer treat? Well then you're gonna want to head to the Patreon, pardner!WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST:  Oh These Those Stars of Space!  In all sincerity, it'

Bears! The Blessing of the Obelisk Part 1 Jun 11, 2024 01:08:19 Just when you thought it safe to sweeten your tea- all the honey in the world was gone. For centuries. Miss you, you sweet golden amber you. And that's all there is to it, certainly nothing a Prince (Ali Fisher), a Professor (Christopher Hastings), a Grizzled Sea Captain (Joe Lepore), a hacker (Carly Monardo), and a washed-up thief (Branson Reese), can do about it. Why if a bunch that rag

When The Times Get Weird... May 28, 2024 01:26:01 Will friends become enemies? Will colleagues become friends? Will the hunters become the hunted? Will the sword call...to you???WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST:  Oh These Those Stars of Space!  In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself for NOTHING.Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the b

Gloop's Soup (with special guest Zach Cherry) May 14, 2024 01:13:17 You'd think a waterfront town like Piss Harbor would never run dry. And usually? You'd be right. Then this episode came along and turned everything on its head. Episodes have a habit of doing that, don't they? Anyways, can our heroes solve the mystery of the Piss Harbor drought? And will it have something to do with the episode's special guest (Zach Cherry)? Impossible to know until you l

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