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RAISING THE CAPABLE CHILD By Dr. Toye Oyelese

RAISING THE CAPABLE CHILD By Dr. Toye Oyelese 8 Episodes Nov 28, 2025

This book comes from experience, not research. The author, a family physician, raised two sons using these frameworks and they became capable adults. The book offers thinking tools and frameworks grounded in Erikson's developmental stages to help parents navigate parenting decisions consistently. It acknowledges that every child and family is different, and the frameworks are meant to help think through situations, not prescribe universal solutions.

Episodes

1 - The Boy Who Couldn't See Nov 28, 2025 00:09:14 Dr. Toye Oyelese shares the story of his unexpected discovery of blindness as a child, using it to introduce powerful frameworks for parenting that focus on nurturing capability through challenge. This episode lays the foundation for understanding how children develop strengths—and how parents can support them by guiding, not solving.

2 - The Game Your Child Is Playing Nov 28, 2025 00:09:29 Dr. Toye Oyelese unpacks Erikson’s influential developmental stages by explaining childhood as a quest—where each stage presents your child with a life challenge and a reward only they can earn by overcoming it themselves. Learn how your role as a parent is to guide, support, and provide the right environment, not to solve these challenges for your child. Thoughtful stories and practical insights

3 - Fear Is the Price of Being Human Nov 28, 2025 00:09:58 Dr. Toye Oyelese explores how parents can manage their own fears to help their children navigate challenges and build independence. By naming fears, seeking real information, and guiding children through discomfort, parents can model courage and foster resilience. Real-life stories and practical frameworks show how to make informed decisions without letting anxiety take the wheel.

4 - Helping vs Enabling Nov 28, 2025 00:10:46 Dr. Toye Oyelese shares real-life stories and practical advice to help parents understand the subtle but crucial difference between supporting their child's growth and inadvertently fostering dependency. Through personal anecdotes, developmental psychology, and examples from everyday parenting, this episode empowers families to foster true capability and resilience in their children.

5 - The Power of Primary Responsibility Nov 28, 2025 00:10:14 Dr. Toye Oyelese explores why a child’s relationship with themselves underlies all other relationships, how parents can facilitate—not substitute—this self-knowledge, and the practical challenges of letting go. Concrete examples from Toye’s life and parenting ground this foundational framework for raising capable children.

6 - # The Process Method Nov 28, 2025 00:10:03 Dr. Toye Oyelese lays out the Process Method—how parents can focus on daily tasks that align with the capabilities they desire for their children. Rather than chasing after perfect outcomes, this episode explores how small, consistent actions compound into lifelong competence and independence.

7 - Mastering the Rules Framework Nov 28, 2025 00:11:31 Dr. Toye Oyelese breaks down the Rules Framework—a four-step tool to help parents and children navigate frustrating systems strategically rather than reactively. With personal stories and real-life examples, this episode illustrates how understanding and leveraging any system's rules can empower kids to make effective decisions, even when the game feels unfair.

8 - Love and Respect Nov 28, 2025 00:10:11 Dr. Toye Oyelese unpacks the heart of healthy parent-child relationships—how to distinguish unconditional love from earned respect, create true value alignment, and guide children toward capability and independence. With vivid stories and practical frameworks from his own journey, Dr. Oyelese reveals what your relationship is actually building for the future.

RAISING THE CAPABLE CHILD By Dr. Toye Oyelese

Episodes

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