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Parenting Without Power Struggles

Parenting Without Power Struggles

Susan Stiffelman 100 Episodes Aug 20, 2026

Susan Stiffelman, a family therapist and parenting expert, hosts conversations with notable guests like Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Jane Goodall. The podcast offers advice on parenting without power struggles, drawing from her books and professional experience.

Episodes

4:3 Calming Rage With IFS: Helping Protective Parts Relax
4:3 Calming Rage With IFS: Helping Protective Parts Relax Aug 20, 2026 21:48 Susan continues her Parenting Without Power Struggles series on Internal Family Systems, exploring how "firefighter" parts trigger intense reactivity, rage, and regrettable parenting moments. She explains that parents often fixate on what went wrong and overlook what went well — a result of the brain's survival-based negativity bias, which fuels shame and discouragement rather than change. Susan d
4:2 Blindsided by Rage: An IFS Look at Firefighter Parts
4:2 Blindsided by Rage: An IFS Look at Firefighter Parts Aug 13, 2026 14:14 In this episode, Susan explores what Internal Family Systems (IFS) calls "firefighter" parts — protective parts that flood in with fast, intense reactions like rage, trying to put out old emotional pain, often at a cost to the relationship. She explains why these reactions aren't really about your child's behavior, and why healing them doesn't require your child to change first — usin
4:1 Calm, Confident, Clear: Anchoring to Your Wise Self
4:1 Calm, Confident, Clear: Anchoring to Your Wise Self Aug 8, 2026 13:17 In this episode, Susan introduces the core idea behind Internal Family Systems and what it means for parenting: beneath our anxiety, anger, and overwhelm is a calm, confident "Wise Self" — the steady part of us that functions as the Captain of the ship for our kids. When our children act out, it's a protective part of us that takes over, not our true Self. Why our reactive outbursts ("I didn't me
1: 71 Encore episode: A Conversation With Dr. Kristin Neff
1: 71 Encore episode: A Conversation With Dr. Kristin Neff Apr 9, 2026 31:01 In this conversation, Susan and Dr. Kristin Neff talks about the importance of cultivating both fierce and tender self-compassion, offering specific practices that parents can easily use when they're feeling overwhelmed, angry, or simply being hard on themselves. https://susanstiffelman.com/podcast-episode-kristin-neff/
1:79 Co-Parenting with a Narcissist, with Dr. Ramani Durvasula
1:79 Co-Parenting with a Narcissist, with Dr. Ramani Durvasula Apr 2, 2026 40:53 In this episode, Susan talks with Dr. Ramani Durvasula, author of author of the new book, It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People, as well as the books Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist, and Don't You Know Who I Am? How To Stay Sane In An Era Of Narcissism, Entitlement and Incivility. Susan and Dr. Durvasula discuss difficulties, grief
2:10 Five Principles of Parenting with Aliza Pressman
2:10 Five Principles of Parenting with Aliza Pressman Mar 25, 2026 23:53 Susan talks with Dr. Pressman about the five guiding principles for raising a good human: relationships, reflection, regulation, rules, and repair. They stress the importance of being a "good enough" parent, rather than striving for perfection, and emphasize that imperfection is a natural part of being human. http://pages.susanstiffelman.com/aliza-pressman-podcast-episode
3:48 The Uncomfortable Path to Resilience
3:48 The Uncomfortable Path to Resilience Mar 17, 2026 15:12 Resilience isn't a trait kids either have or don't — it's something they build through repeated experiences of feeling hard emotions and getting through them, with a present and steady parent by their side. In this episode, Susan Stiffelman, Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, and Dr. Laura Markham explore why our instinct to fix our children's disappointment can actually work against us — and what to do inste
3:46 "I Didn't Mean to Say That!"
3:46 "I Didn't Mean to Say That!" Feb 20, 2026 14:28 In this episode, Susan explores why we sometimes react in ways that don't match our intentions. Through the lens of Internal Family Systems, she encourages parents to view those moments as protective parts taking over—and reminds us that our steady, wise Self is never far away. How understanding your own parts helps you respond more calmly to your child's activated parts. Wh
3:45 Captain of the Ship Meets IFS
3:45 Captain of the Ship Meets IFS Feb 13, 2026 14:25 In this episode, Susan is joined by Lisa Spiegel, author of Internal Family Systems Therapy with Children, for a conversation about how understanding our "parts" can transform our parenting life. They explore what it means to be Self-led, why you're not your anger (and your child isn't either), and how helping kids understand their parts builds confidence, compassion, and emotional resilience.    
3:44 When Kids Turn to Chatbots for Emotional Support
3:44 When Kids Turn to Chatbots for Emotional Support Jan 28, 2026 15:00 In this episode, Susan explores how children are increasingly turning to AI chatbots not just for information, but for emotional reassurance — a shift that can quietly replace human connection. Drawing on insights from psychologist Dr. Zak Stein, she explains why real relationships, with their pauses, limits, and repair, are essential for healthy development, and how endlessly affirming bo
3:43 Sparks of Joy in Everyday Parenting
3:43 Sparks of Joy in Everyday Parenting Jan 16, 2026 13:08 In this podcast, Susan explores the quiet, everyday joy that often gets lost in the stress, demands, and constant pressures of parenting—and why these small moments of happiness are essential for both parents and children. Drawing on attachment theory, neuroscience, and Internal Family Systems, she explains how play, laughter, and lightness help regulate nervous systems, strengthen connection, and
3:42 ADHD, with Dr. Ned Hallowell
3:42 ADHD, with Dr. Ned Hallowell Jan 9, 2026 12:31 In this episode, Susan and Dr. Hallowell share tips for talking with children about ADHD that emphasizes its benefits rather than using a "just try harder!" approach. ADHD is a trait both Susan and Dr. Hallowell share, and both see it as an asset that has made their lives better---with effective strategies and support.  Why ADHD is better understood as a trait, not a deficit The real dangers to w

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