The Sex Addiction Podcast For High-achievers and Entrepreneurs
Sex addiction recovery is different for high-achievers and entrepreneurs. Their brains are hard-wired for success and a constant desire for more. It is this hard-wiring that makes them so successful. However, it can also get them into trouble. Their need for attention, validation, novelty, and excitement places them at high risk for sex and porn addiction.<br /> <br /> Sex addiction presents differently in high-achievers. Therefore, their road to recovery will also need to be unique. This podcast is designed to help high-achieving men overcome their sex and porn addiction so that they can achieve recovery… not just sobriety.<br /> <br /> As difficult as sex addiction and betrayal trauma are to overcome, there are a ton of highly effective strategies now available to achieve long-term sobriety and save your marriage. On this podcast, I will bring in industry experts to apply sex addiction recovery principles specifically to the mindset of the high-achiever.<br /> <br /> If you are a high-achiever or entrepreneur looking for a sex addiction recovery group full of like-minded men, visit my website at successfuladdict.com
Episodes
116. Sex Addiction: Excuses Vs Ownership
Does your sex addiction and pornography use often stem from childhood and your teenage years?
Yes. And, you need to make sure you are still taking ownership of your actions today.
In the end, you did what you did, and you chose to hide it, lie about it, and repeat it.
Too often, I see men who get lost in the recovery plan, recovery definitions, and the betrayal healing steps. The result c
115. “It’s just porn”, “It was all virtual”, “We never had sex”: Want to Hear The Truth?
Sex addicts in recovery will often compare their compulsive behaviors to those of other men they meet in recovery.
They will say things like:
“Mine wasn’t that bad”
“It was just a few times”
“We never had sex”
“It was all virtual”
“It’s just porn”
There are a few problems with statements like this.
It’s going to hurt your recovery
Comparing yourself to others is likely
114. Roland’s Addiction Story
Despite speaking about most of my behaviors over the years. I’ve never shared my sex addiction story on this Podcast before.
In this episode, I walk listeners through my journey front to back.
My childhood and how things led me to acting out.
My early sexual acting-out behaviors and how they evolved.
The events that caused me to develop my specific process addiction in my adulthood
113. What Your Wife Actually Means: “You’re Not Doing Enough Recovery Work”
Betrayed Partners often say, “You’re not doing enough in your sex addiction recovery.”
There’s a reason why betrayed partners say this, and you need to understand how to answer this question if you hope to rebuild their trust after infidelity.
In this episode, Tiffany Comiskey and I talk about what is going on in the mind of both parties (the sex addict and the betrayed partner) when this qu
112. Do You Trust Yourself to Stay Sober? Should You?
Do you trust yourself to stay sober? I don’t, and this podcast explains why.
I do believe I will find a way to maintain my sobriety from sex addiction. And, I believe you can too.
But I’m nervous living in the world we live in with my personality.
High-achieving men have their hands full. Successful male culture in 2026 does not seem to value integrity. The message is, “Never settle! And,
111. Integrity is Key to Recovery and Healing Your Marriage After Sexual Betrayal
It’s no mystery that integrity is one of the most important pieces in both sex addiction recovery and healing your marriage after infidelity.
But what is integrity, and how do you repair the damage caused after cheating?
In this episode, I’m joined by one of my favorite experts in the field of sex addiction and betrayal trauma. Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is an author and Certified Sex Addiction
110. The Sex Addiction Relapse Rate is HIGH. Why Aren’t We Talking About This?
The sex addiction relapse rate is believed to be between 67 and 80 percent at 5 years. That means only 20-30% of men can avoid relapse.
Why aren’t we talking more about this?!
In this episode, I go on a bit of a rant. And, it’s likely to offend some people. That was not my intent. My intent was to be helpful.
Some people will hear this rant and have had a totally different experience from
109. Healing Your Marriage After Infidelity: The 3 Phases Of Betrayal Recovery
Healing your marriage after sexual betrayal can be a mess. Sometimes it feels like you have a plan… other times it feels like you have no plan at all.
In this episode, Tesa Saulmon (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) outlines a clear 3-phase plan that can help.
Betrayal trauma recovery is complex. Add that to a sex addict in recovery, and you have quite the challenge. It’s important to use a
108. Is Sex Addiction Real? What if You’re Just a Cheater?
I’m not a big fan of the term “sex addiction.” While some men fall into this category, a lot of men don’t. Therefore, calling any guy who has been unfaithful multiple times an “addict” is not necessarily accurate.
This matters when you’re in recovery, as treating an addict who isn’t an addict will not work.
In fact, it typically backfires and results in relapse. I believe this is why we see
107. What Is Complex Shame? And, Why Most Sex Addicts Are Unaware They Have It
Imagine having something holding you back in your sex addiction recovery that you’re unaware of…
In this episode, my guest Shirley Lytle (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) educates listeners on how to spot and manage “complex shame.”
I personally found this episode thrilling to record, as I had never heard of complex shame before.
Like most complex issues in psychology, it is… complex. L
106. Are You Being Honest With Your Wife? Your Therapist? Yourself?
Are you being honest about your sex addiction? Honest with your wife? Your Therapist? Yourself?
The bigger question is, can you be honest?
While people call this a “sex addiction,” in my groups, only 10-20% of guys are actually addicted to sex or porn.
They get caught, and then they stop. By definition, they’re not a sex addict.
So, what are they?
Well, the answer to this question m
105. Many Successful Men Have This Trait, And It May Be Harming Their Recovery
Successful men are often “highly sensitive people.” And, the sad part is that they have no idea.
I myself am a highly sensitive person, as are most successful entrepreneurs. Our sensitivity is a superpower.
However, it can cause difficulties when it comes to sex addiction recovery.
In this episode, I’m joined by Jason VanRuler and Mike Vaughn. We connected at a sex addiction conference an
104. Why Some Men Act Out, & Others Don’t
In a hyper sexual world, why do some men act out and others don’t?
The Answer: For sex addicts… It’s worth it.
Crazy right?!
Well, it's less crazy when you learn WHY they act out. Which is exactly what I talk about in this episode.
In this podcast, I discuss:
How men reach the point where acting out becomes an option
How men free themselves from the guilt
What men need to d
103. What If Something Is Blocking You From Getting Into Good Recovery?
Many sex addicts are not in good recovery. But it’s not always their fault.
A “deficit” is when something critical is missing. In terms of sex addiction, a deficit describes a critical element of recovery that is lacking or underdeveloped.
The result is a guy who is unable to fully embody the behavior required to recover.
This is extremely common in sex and porn addiction, as most men wh
102. Is Porn Really That Bad?
You need a stance on pornography. Is it okay or is it not ok?
If you don’t have a stance, you’ll likely relapse.
Sex addiction and porn addiction recovery plans need to be crystal clear. And, they can't be clear if you haven’t yet decided if you really want to stop.
Now, I know you want to stop (otherwise you wouldn’t be listening to this podcast). But, do you want to stop for you? Or is
101. Is Your Marriage Stuck?: How To Navigate Long-Term Relational Recovery Post Betrayal
It’s easy to get stuck in the betrayal healing process. It’s hard, confusing, emotional, and ever-changing. While recovering from sex addiction can have its own challenges, relational recovery can often be much more challenging.
Yes, it takes time. But there’s also a lot you can do to screw it up and make it take longer.
In this episode, I’m joined by Hope Ray, Certified Sex Addiction Therap
100. How To Build a Recovery Plan That Works Long-term and Rebuilds Trust
It’s unfortunate how many guys don’t know what a good sex addiction recovery plan looks like. Their long-term sobriety and the health of their marriage are threatened as a result.
In this episode, I review how to build a sex addiction recovery plan and what it needs to look like if you want it to be effective.
I also discuss what betrayed partners want to see from you before they can trust y
99. Are You Using a Daily “Check-In” Post Betrayal? And, Is It Helping Your Marriage Or Resulting In Disconnect?
“Check-Ins” are a common thing after sexual betrayal and infidelity. They are intended to rebuild safety and trust. But they can also result in arguments and disconnection.
In this episode, I am joined by Dr. Jill Manning. She and I talk about how check-ins can be helpful and how to prevent them from being unhelpful.
Betrayed partners often worry that they are not getting the full truth. Aft
98. Is Recovery Working? What If Each Act Needs a Unique Treatment?
Ever notice how some parts of your sex addiction just stop, and others seem to stay on your mind?
Some might be addictive, others might be sexually compulsive. Some of them may just come down to an integrity issue.
This matters. Why? Because if you’re trying to avoid relapse, you need to make sure that treatment is actually going to solve the issue.
Because sex addiction is a process addi
97. Sex Addiction and Narcissism: Are You A Narcissist?
Narcissism is a word you’ll hear quite a bit these days. And, it’s often brought up around men struggling with a sex addiction and chronic cheating.
But there’s a difference between narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and narcissistic traits.
Betrayed partners are often concerned that their husbands might be narcissists. This episode will clear this up.
Dr. Alexandra Repke is a Certif
96. Will Your Sex Addiction Recovery Plan Actually Prevent Relapse?
There’s a difference between sobriety and recovery when it comes to sex addiction. A big difference.
You’ve probably seen the stats that relapse is common. My belief is that this is because most men are in good sobriety… not recovery.
Sobriety is about stopping the behaviors from happening. Recovery is about preventing them from happening in the future.
In this episode, I outline the diff
95. How to Help Betrayed Partners in Each Phase of Healing w/ Tammy Gustafson
Tammy Gustafson has a wealth of knowledge when it comes to betrayal trauma and healing marriages after infidelity.
She just released her new book, Broken to Brave. You can find it here on Amazon: https://a.co/d/aQqYtaV
In this episode, Tammy walks us through the phases of sexual betrayal healing and what is required in each step.
Sex and porn addiction impact betrayed partners in a very d
94. The Men Who Are in Great Recovery Have This
It’s unfortunate… But your wife, family, and faith alone are not enough to stop your sex addiction. If they were, you wouldn't be listening to this podcast.
The men in my groups who are the fastest to recover have tapped into something more. Something that energizes them and keeps them leaning into recovery.
Recovering from sex addiction is not a short road. You need to make sure that your r
93. How Can You Show a Betrayed Partner That You’re In Good Recovery?
In this episode, Michelle Edsall joins me in a discussion on “good recovery” and how sex addicts can show betrayed partners that they are putting in the work.
We talk about common triggers and questions that betrayed partners often ask men in recovery.
Learning how to navigate these difficult conversations is critical when it comes to healing your marriage and establishing a sense of safety.
92. Your Recovery Group is the Key to Long-Term Sobriety
We all know that connection and peer-support are the most critical elements in recovery from sex addiction. Despite going to meetings, not all men are actually connecting or receiving peer-support.
This does NOT mean that you should stop going to meetings. Instead, take charge.
In this episode, I discuss how to get the most out of your support groups so that you can achieve long-term sobriet
91. How to Decrease Your Risk of Relapse: Back to The Basics of Sex Addiction Recovery
Sure, you’ve gone through the basics. But it was probably back when your sex or porn addiction was first discovered.
The truth is, it's hard to digest and implement everything correctly when you’re first discovered. Life is chaotic, and your marriage is hanging on by a thread.
So, now that you’re further down the road of sex addiction recovery, you would likely benefit from revisiting the ba
90. When Does Sex Addiction Recovery End?
Have you ever heard someone say:
“I can’t wait to stop eating healthy.”“I can't wait to stop going to the gym.”"I can't wait to stop brushing my teeth.”
No! Because these things are important.
So, why do sex addicts wonder when they will stop having to be in recovery?
Recovery is different from sobriety.
Sobriety is about stopping the unwanted sexual behavior.
Recovery is about e
89. Are Men Who Have Been Cheated on More Likely to Cheat on Their Partners?
You would think that experiencing infidelity would decrease the chance that you would be unfaithful…
But this isn’t always the case.
In fact, being betrayed can lead to trauma that could then cause you to be the one who betrays.
Adam Nisenson (The Betrayal Shrink) is a CSAT who specializes in treating betrayed men who have experienced infidelity.
With so much of the focus being on male
88. Has Your Wife Asked You To Change Jobs? Or, Stop Traveling For Work as a Result of Your Sex Addiction?
If you acted out sexually at your place of work or during business travel, it’s common for betrayed partners to feel unsafe when it comes to your career and travel.
Many men recovering from sex addiction are asked by their wives to change jobs or stop traveling for work.
This can be a challenging request to navigate.
Many of the men in my groups have faced this conversation in early recov
87. Using Advanced Neuroscience Technology To Treat Men With Sex And Porn Addiction
Dr. Trish Leigh uses advanced neuroscience technology to treat men with sex and porn addiction. In this episode, she explains to listeners how it works.
Dr. Leigh looks for dysfunctional brain patterns and then prescribes the appropriate treatment strategy.
She is the author of the book, “Mind Over Explicit Matter. Quit Porn and Improve Intimacy Through Neuroscience.” She also has an extreme
86. How to Measure Your Sex Addiction Recovery: How Recovered Are You? How Do You Know?
What we measure matters. Without measurement and monitoring, how do you know if you’re getting closer to where you want to be?
This is absolutely true for sex addiction recovery. Most of the men I talk to are checking boxes but not following a recovery plan.
Addicts need to understand what caused them to act out so that they can create a plan to prevent it from happening again.
We see a h
85. Dr. Jake Porter: How Sex Addicts Can Restore Integrity And Avoid Relapse
In this episode, Dr. Jake Porter explains his integrity model and how it can be used in sex addiction recovery.
As many of you know from listening to my podcast, I admire Jake Porter and all he has done for the field of sex addiction and betrayal trauma. His approach has helped so many couples heal their marriages and betrayed partners regain their sense of self.
In this episode, Jake and I
84. 95% of Sex Addicts Say This When They Relapse, And It’s Not True
In this brief podcast episode, I talk about what 95% of sex addicts blame for their slips and relapses… and it's a total excuse.
It’s not their fault. They don’t mean to make excuses. But, there’s certainly a more productive way to get to the root cause of their acting-out behavior.
To be in good recovery, you must know WHY you do the things you do.
If you want help discovering the WHY be
83. There Are Different Types Of Sex Addicts. Do You Understand Your Specific Sex Addiction?
Sex addiction is much bigger than most people realize. While it's often discussed that sex and porn addiction are a result of childhood trauma, emotional regulation, entitlement, etc. There are many more reasons why someone would become sexually compulsive.
In this episode, I interview Jeremy Mast, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. He and I discuss how big this problem is and the wide variety
82. It Sucks To Be a Sex Addict, As You Will Be Judged By Others
Sex addiction sucks because it's the one you’re not allowed to have. You can struggle with most every other problem… but not this problem.
Compassion will be hard to come by given the trauma you will cause your wife and family.
Society has its view of what a “sex addict” is. A pervert, a freak, a weirdo, someone who is unsafe to have around kids, etc.
And, there certainly can be career co
81. What is Gaslighting? And, How Betrayed Partners and Sex Addicts Can Navigate The Harm It Causes A Relationship
Sarah Morales is the founder of Deconstructing Gaslighting. In this episode, we define gaslighting. What it is, what it isn’t, and what to do about it.
Sex addicts often gaslight their partners before, during, and after discovery. Recovering from this form of deception can be very challenging for betrayed partners, especially in the midst of betrayal trauma.
In this episode, Sarah and I deco
80. Are My Sex Addiction Groups Full Of Narcissists?
It's a common assumption… “Roland, don't you think that these men need to hang out with men who are NOT like them? Don’t you think this adds to their ego and narcissistic traits?”
No… I strongly disagree.
In fact, the fastest way for them to get over their superiority complex, grandiosity, and narcissistic traits is to be around men who are struggling in the same way.
Yes, these traits ar
79. Her Story: How a Father’s Sex Addiction Impacted The Family
This episode is much different than anything I’ve done. It’s a personal story of the pain that sex addiction can bring to a family.
Kendra agreed to share her story with my audience. As you will clearly hear in her voice, sharing this was not easy for her. Sex addiction and betrayal trauma are more than just mental health diagnoses… these are people's lives that are being affected.
Kendra sh
78. Entitlement, Narcissism, Grandiosity, and Superiority Complexes. Do These Traits Describe A Sex Addict?
Successful men with a sex addiction often get criticized for their entitlement, grandiosity, or their superiority complex.
But, where do these traits come from?
I’ll be the first to admit that my sex addiction stems from these traits. But, I wasn’t always that way.
How did this happen to me?
I have my theory. And, I present it in this podcast.
I would love to hear your perception of
76. Why Did You Become a Sex Addict? And How To Use Your “Why” To Recover
When it comes to sex addiction… your “why” matters. It exposes the perceived value of the behavior that you’re chasing.
In my opinion, you cannot be in good recovery until you understand what it is that you need to recover from.
While this is called “sex addiction” and “porn addiction,”… it’s rarely about sex or porn.
So, what is it about? Listen to this episode to find out what your brai
75. Long-term Sex Addiction Recovery with Marnie Ferree
Sobriety and recovery are two different things. Sobriety is needed before you can truly recover. But can sobriety alone take you the distance?
Marnie Ferree is the founder of Bethesda Workshops in Nashville, Tennessee. She speaks to long-term recovery, both from personal and professional experience working with sex and porn addicts.
In this episode, she and I discuss the ins and outs of long
74. SA and SAA Don’t Work For Everyone. There Are Other Options Besides 12-step
12-step meetings are designed to go through the 12 steps. They are not designed for connection. And, they are not therapy.
Sex addiction is incredibly different from guy to guy. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. If 12-step meetings are not resonating with you, you need to find something that does.
Many high-achieving men struggle with 12-step groups. They find them inefficient, lacking
73. Customizing Your Sex Addiction Recovery with Cheryl Camarillo
Yes, there’s the sex addiction, the compulsive sexual behavior, and… there’s the lying.
Deceptive sexuality needs to be addressed in addition to your sex/porn addiction.
Cheryl Camarillo and I attended training together at The Institute of Sexual Health for Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma Treatment for infidelity and compulsive sexual behavior disorders.
Both of us work with high-achieving
72. Is Recovery Working? What If Each Act Has a Different Cause?
Have some unwanted sexual behaviors stopped, while others keep nagging at you?Is it possible you’re missing the reason why you act out? What if you’re using the wrong sex addiction treatment strategies?What if each acting-out behavior has a different cause?
In this episode, I explore how pornography, affairs, and paid sex can have different causes. And, if so, you’ll need different treatment st
71. Finding The Way Through Sex Addiction with Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein
Sex and Porn Addiction recovery is complex and multifaceted. Add the betrayed partner's experience, and you have an even more challenging situation.
Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein wrote a book called Finding the Way Through. This workbook is designed to integrate sobriety, recovery, and betrayed partner sensitivity.
In this interview, we discuss the nuances of personal and relational recovery
70. Roland’s 3 Circles Of Sexual Sobriety
While 12-step was never really my thing… One thing I did take from it was the 3-circle sobriety plan.
Sex addiction is an interesting addiction because the definition of sobriety changes from person to person.
But one thing I really like about the “3-circle” idea was that it focuses more on recovery and prevention rather than just sobriety.
In this episode, I share my personal 3-circle so
69. The Most Effective Sex Addiction Treatment Strategy (And How To Use It)
It’s unanimously agreed (and the research supports it) that peer support and connection with other addicts is the best treatment strategy for sex addiction.
It's PEER support… Not just going to meetings. You need to be surrounded by men who you believe are your peers.
It’s connection… Not just sharing when it's your turn to share. Connection involves relatability, common interests, and feeli
68. How to Use Your Peer-Support Group to Achieve Lasting Recovery
Is your recovery group actually a recovery group?Is the group too big?Are you getting individualized feedback?Do you enjoy your time with your group and look forward to the meeting?
Just because you are going to a group or a meeting doesn’t mean it’s working.
In this episode, I discuss the point of peer support and what it should be doing for you.
You should feel yourself recovering when
67. How Betrayed Partners and Sex Addicts Can Communicate Effectively
Even the best communicators will be challenged when recovering from sexual betrayal.
Fear, anger, resentment, injustice, a lack of trust… This is not a great container for grounded conversation. But this is reality, and you’re going to need to learn how to navigate it as a couple.
Too often, couples recovering from infidelity heal in isolation but fight together. The problem is that healing
66. What should you be checking in with your recovery group?
Are you monitoring the wrong things? Often, I find men are too focused on the behaviors rather than the cause of their sex addiction.
Recovery is about change… Not just avoiding unwanted behavior.
In this episode, I talk about how you can check in with your recovery group and help them keep you accountable.
Finding a tribe of like-minded men to do recovery with is the most important thing
65. Dr. Jake Porter – Are Sex Addicts Being Defensive? Or, Do They Need Help?
Is it defensiveness? Or, is it a deficit? Understanding this could make a huge difference in improving your communication as a couple when recovering from betrayal trauma and infidelity.
We all know that being defensive destroys connection and increases conflict. But first, we need to be sure that the person really is being defensive.
Not every reaction comes from a defensive place. Often, p
64. Just Because You’re Financially Successful Does Not Mean You’re Going To Be Good At Recovery
Financial success and recovery are two different things. Often, the things that made you money may be some of the same things that caused your sex addiction.
This doesn’t mean that you need to stop being successful in your career. It means you need to become aware of when to use each skill set.
Many of the skills needed to recover from sex and porn addiction are different from the skills you
63. WHY did you act out? And how do you make sure it doesn’t happen again
Coping mechanisms have the potential to ruin your life. But changing them can be difficult if you don’t know WHY you’re doing it.
In the addiction space, you will hear professionals talk about the power of discovering your “why.” But, it's a bit more complicated than that.
In this podcast episode, I help men understand what coping mechanisms are, how to recognize when they’re being used, and
62. Have You Tried This Yet? Using IFS To Treat Sex Addiction
Candice Christensen is well known for her ability to use Internal Family System (IFS) with both Sex Addicts and Couples to help them navigate the root cause of the sexually compulsive behavior.
I personally believe IFS is one of the best forms of treatment for sex and porn addiction. I personally used it in my recovery, and my clients who use it seem to get better results than those who don’t.
61. Addict or A-hole? Are You Actually a Sex/Porn Addict?
Are you an addict or a selfish womanizer? Historically, it’s been said that you are either one of the two. But, is it really only limited to these two options?
What if you’re neither?What if you are a selfish womanizer?What if you’re both?
Is the treatment the same?If not, what’s different?
Does your wife need to be worried?If you’re not an addict, should she leave you?
Sex Addict or A
60. The Hard Truth About Sex Addiction and Betrayal Trauma Recovery
The truth is… recovering from sex addiction is hard. And, healing your marriage is even harder.
In this episode, we give it to you straight (no sugar coating).
Jackie Pack is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist with a no BS approach. She and I have a raw and real discussion about the reality of sex addiction recovery.
Mental health is far from black and white. Every human is different. Ev
59. Why “Sex Addiction” Shouldn’t Be Called Sex Addiction
Sex addiction is classified as a “process addiction.” This is important as your treatment strategy may need to change depending on the thought processes that you’re addicted to.
In this episode, I discuss:Why the term “sex addiction” may be a distraction.Why the term may make it difficult for your wife to move forward.Why the term may be creating an inaccurate enemy.
For more about process a
58. How Sex Addicts Can Avoid Burnout And Stay In The Fight For Multiple Years
When most guys get into recovery for their sex or porn addiction, they think this will be out of their lives in a few months.
While sobriety can be achieved, healing your marriage is a different story.
In this episode, Cory Anderson (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) and I discuss what guys need to do to go the distance.
As you have probably figured out… this is not a quick process.
S
57. Are You More Traumatized Than You Think? This May Be Limiting Your Recovery
Good life events may be more traumatic than the negative ones.
Trauma comes from the conclusion you came to after the life event… Not the event itself.
In this episode, I talk about how success, advice, mentorship, winning, and other accomplishments may be more traumatic than some of the negative events that have happened in your life.
All life events have the potential to influence your
56. Healing Your Marriage After Infidelity is Brutal. Would it be Better to Just Walk Away?
Sex addiction will destroy your marriage. The only way back is to create a new marriage that will likely look much different than the old marriage.
Your wife will be with a guy who she knows has the capability of lying to her and cheating on her.
You will have to be with a wife who is frequently triggered by trauma and may ask you to modify your lifestyle to keep her safe.
On this podcast
55. If You Were Born Before 2025… You Have Childhood Trauma
The word “trauma” is often misunderstood. It’s not just abuse… Trauma can be a result of advice, mentorship, or any event for that matter.
Parenting is not about being a “good” parent. Oftentimes, it's “good parenting” that results in the most trauma to the child.
Kids don’t need someone to tell them who to become, what to believe, and how to live their lives. In fact, overparenting can some
54. The 3-Second Rule and Your 3 Circle Sobriety Plan Redefined
In this episode, I’m joined by Jennifer Ginsberg, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist.
While most men have already heard about the “3-second-rule” and the “3 circles of sobriety”… they typically have not revisited these circles since being in early recovery.
In this episode, Jennifer and I redefine sobriety so that it can be maintained for decades.
Too often, sex addicts set up a recovery
53. Is There Such Thing As Being “Recover-ed”
Most guys want this to end at some point. The time spent in groups, therapy, couples therapy, couples groups… It's a lot. And, I see why guys feel like their life is being consumed by recovery work.
The good news is that you will be able to tone down the number of hours spent each week. However, you will likely always have a few hours each week dedicated to continued growth and maintenance.
52. How To Thrive After Infidelity feat. The Raabsmiths
Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith join me on this episode to talk about how to create a thriving marriage after infidelity.
There’s a ton of information out there about sex addiction recovery and betrayal trauma. But, what about thriving on the other side?
None of us gets into recovery just to have a mediocre relationship filled with triggers, a lack of safety, and arguments.
You want to THRI
51. This Checklist Will Help You Determine If You Are In Good Recovery
What is “good recovery,” and how do you know if you’re doing it?
It’s a question that most guys often ask themselves. Which is unfortunate, because I feel like this is something that should be very well-defined.
Yes, recovery is specific to each person. However, there are well-established practices and treatment strategies that we know work for everyone.
I’ve developed this checklist to h
50. Why Sex Addiction Recovery Is Different For Successful Men
Working with high-achievers and entrepreneurs, there are definite differences between these men and the general population. These differences require a unique approach when it comes to sex addiction recovery.
Sex addiction is a process addiction, meaning that guys have become addicted to thought processes. To recover, men need to discover what thought processes they have become addicted to. For
49. So, you avoided divorce. But, what’s next?
The sex addiction field has the crisis phase dialed in. We know exactly what to do to save your marriage and begin the healing process.
But… then what?
This is where things start to get murky.
Guys need to transition from sobriety to recovery.
And, the relational healing will also need to evolve.
It can be tough for addicts and couples when they head into year 2+. There’s a lot more
48. Is Sex Addiction Too Big To Recover From?: How To Navigate The Complexities
Your Recovery, Her Recovery, Marital Recovery, Healthy Sexuality… How do you heal when this is so complex?
Dr. Laney Knowlton is working hard to help couples tackle all of the aspects necessary to thrive after sexual betrayal.
This episode is raw and real. Laney and I don’t sugarcoat anything. Recovery is hard… We aren’t here to convince you that it’s not.
However, we are here to help pro
47. How to quit porn in 30 days? Sorry… that’s not a thing
You’ll see these ads for courses, books, and programs that claim to get guys sober from their sex or porn addiction in “30 days.” “The revolutionary formula to quit porn for good.”
I’m sorry… but how can you take these claims seriously?
Sex addiction is classified as a process addiction. Meaning that men have become addicted to a thought process.
Each guy has a different thought process
46. Successful Men Experience a Different Kind of Shame When Struggling With Sex Addiction
Shame halts recovery. But, not all shame is created equal.
Successful men are typically in positions of influence. They are either directly in charge of leading others. Or, they are admired and looked up to. In both cases, their actions have significantly higher consequences than those of the general population.
Kim Litton, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, shares her personal story of bein
45. Sex Addicts Need to Change Their Brains. This Is How It Actually Works.
With a 64% chance of relapse… it’s clear that most sex addicts are missing something.
Changing the brain… This is probably the biggest void in the sex addiction field. What is actually required to change someone's thought processes?
The answer… sales.
The brain wants what it wants. You need to sell it on a superior strategy. Otherwise, you will relapse.
But what’s required to actually
44. Finally! Empathy Explained In a Way That Men Can Understand
What if everything you know about empathy is wrong? When I met Stevie Hall, I knew that she was onto something big.
Stevie has been researching empathy and breaks it down into 3 parts that will make it easier for men to understand.
Empathy is extremely important when it comes to healing your marriage after betrayal and infidelity. Historically, it has been difficult for men to put into pract
43. Is it really that shocking that men are hiding their sexual behavior from their partners?
I’m not that shocked at what these men are doing in their sex addiction… If anything, I’m shocked more men aren’t doing it.
Women are raised looking for a partner who will preserve the sexual energy for the relationship.
Men are not raised this way… It’s actually quite the opposite.
Men are raised to get more money, get better looking, and get the most attractive women they can get.
Mo
42. Can Meditation Cure Sex and Porn Addiction?
Does abstinence work? What if we are too zoomed in on the unwanted sexual behavior?
The challenge with the word “recovery” is that people assume there is a point where you become “recovered.”
But, when it comes to sex addiction, I’m not sure guys are ever completely recovered. Sex is a biological human need, and it cannot be removed. If you want these behaviors to stop, it will be your mind
41. Is “Recovery” Preventing You From Recovering?
There’s this problem in the sex and porn addiction space… People treat it like a substance addiction, but it’s not.
Recovering from a process addiction is very different from recovering from a chemical dependency on an external substance.
In many ways, sex addicts are never recoverED. They will likely be in recovERY for the rest of their lives.
Sex is a biological desire (so is physical a
40. How to Handle Your Wife’s Triggers Post Sexual Betrayal
Sexual betrayal will turn your wife's world upside down. She will experience significant trauma for years after she discovers your sex addiction.
Intrusive thoughts, graphic images of you with other women, total body trauma responses…
It’s hard for a betrayed partner to have a single day where she’s not triggered by something in her environment.
While men cannot undo what has already bee
39. Can sex addicts be sober living in the US?
We claim to value monogamy and committed relationships… but, do our actions line up with that?
Desire and attraction are baked into our DNA. Nothing you can do will change that.
So, what are you and your wife going to do about it?
Sure, some behaviors are compulsive and not biologically necessary. But, many of these desires are quite natural.
In this episode, I talk about something tha
38. Full Therapeutic Disclosure with Dan Drake: Telling your wife about your sexual history before and after your marriage
Dan Drake is well known in the sex addiction space for his workbook that men and women use during the “Full Therapeutic Disclosure” process.
A full therapeutic disclosure is a process where the cheating partner discloses a full history of their sexual behavior. The betrayed partner can choose what it is that they want to know and what they do NOT want to know.
This episode will be different
37. Sex Addicts… Your Wife Needs You to Listen to This
Your wife has the right to be mad about whatever she wants to be mad about. Comparing your acting out to another guy's acting out is irrelevant. The issue is the deception.
Being married to a liar sucks. That’s what she's mad about.
It’s the lack of trust that will torture your wife the most. If you are deep into recovery, you probably already know this. But, keep it in mind as you continue
36. Her Experience: Understanding Betrayal Trauma and The New Relationship After Infidelity
All wives wish they could help their husbands feel the pain of being betrayed. Unfortunately, it can be very difficult to imagine the hurt that infidelity brings.
In this episode, Vanessa Cardenas and I discuss “her experience” to help sex addicts better communicate during the painful phases of betrayal recovery.
Vanessa is a relationship coach who has been personally affected by sexual betr
