Weird Medieval Guys
Leaving no stone unturned in our quest for the weirdest stories, guys, and art from the Middle Ages. The Weird Medieval Guys podcast is brought to you by Olivia, the creator of internet sensation Weird Medieval Guys, and Aran, a historian and fellow weird guy connoisseur.
Episodes
Peasant rebellions
Why are peasants so revolting?
Reviewing Medieval Movies
The movies are back, or so they say. But what makes a good medieval movie? Historical accuracy? Satisfying storytelling? The quality of the tassels? To find out, Aran, Olivia and Joe Mason reviewed five movies. Some of them were good, some of them were interesting, and some of them were Braveheart.Films reviewed:Braveheart (1995)The Northman (2022)The Green Knight (2021)The Kingdom of Heaven (2005
Why don't we build cathedrals any more?
Roger Scruton - In Defense of Booty
Medieval Robots
Wait, what? Are you for real? is this a bit you're doing?
Did medieval people think the world was going to end in 1000 AD?
It would only make sense, right? Why else would they call it millenarianism?
How medieval scribes invented fonts
And how Hitler made them illegal!
Medieval travel writing
Nothing beats a Jet 2 Holiday - except, of course, trekking thousands of miles across Central Asia to deliver spices, preach the gospel, or just see that's going on over there. The Mongol Empire facilitated an unprecedented transcontinental mobility, which a few people (mostly Europeans, go figure) wrote about. Some of that writing was genuinely insightful, and some was unitentionally hsyterical.
What did the mongol empire ever do for us?
Join the official WMG Discord server!! https://discord.gg/6GzvXdWX23
The Order of Assassins
In the medieval Middle East, no group was as feared as the Order of the Assassins - or as misunderstood. In this episode, Olivia and Aran chart the emergence of this deadly organisation and their role in the complex web of Middle Eastern politics. This episode has everything you could want: high-octane derring-do, arcane Islamic eschatology, thundering Mongol armies and yes: even a few scheming vi
Medieval drinking culture
Dry January is over! Wet February is here! What was it like to get drunk in the Middle Ages? Let's investigate......Join the official WMG Discord server!! https://discord.gg/6GzvXdWX23
Weird medieval mailbag #3
Q&A with Aran and OliviaJoin the official WMG Discord server!! https://discord.gg/6GzvXdWX23
The Norman Conquest part VI: The Book of Judgement
Our series on the Norman Conquest finally comes to an end with a grand finale covering the aftermath of the events in Scotland, England, and Wales. Though William the Bastard may die 20 years after the conquest takes place, his actions will reverberate throughout history....
The Norman Conquest episode V: The Lake of Blood
It all comes down to this. Harold Godwinson, Harald Sigurdson, and William the Bastard are preparing their armies, for a tri-cornered showdown for the English throne. But what really happened in 1066? In this episode, Olivia and Aran will piece together Norman histories, Icelandic sagas, English chronicles, and one big tapestry, to assemble the events that would change England - and Europe - forev
The Norman Conquest part IV: The Bastard of Normandy
So far we've talked a lot about the Norman conquest without talking very much about who the Normans were and why they (and especially one guy) wanted to conquest. Well, that changes today! How did some Vikings become French, why is that our problem over here in England, and what's wrong with being a bastard descended from a long line of bastards? Find out....Join the Weird Medieval Guys discord to
The Norman Conquest episode III: The Thunderbolt of the North
In the third episode of our Norman Conquest series, we look at the life and times of the second of our claimants to the English throne in 1066: Harald Sigurdson, King of Norway. When a teenaged Harald's life is upended by Cnut's invasion of Norway in 1028, he builds a new life for himself as a mercenary in Kyiv, and eventually as an honour guard for the Roman Emperors themselves. Along the way, he
The Norman Conquest part II: The House of Godwin
Thanks to the efforts of Alfred the Great and his descendants, England enters the new millennium as united kingdom. However, trouble is brewing: the Vikings have returned, and their leader, Sweyn Forkbeard, has designs on the English throne. What follows is a bloody tale of intrigue, with more mysterious deaths than a series of The Traitors. Expect an unready king, people marrying their dead enemi
The Norman Conquest part I: The King of All the World of Britain (with Joe Mason)
We are literally so back!! And this time with our longest series yet!! This is part 1 of 6(?) of our Norman conquest series and this part is all about ENGLAND!! More specifically, the crazy cats who invented it. Many thanks to our dear friend Joe Mason for joining us again. Join the official WMG discord!https://discord.gg/6GzvXdWX23
Medieval Jewish Life
Well, we finally made it: The Definitive Podcast (jodcast?) on medieval Jewish culture. After the destruction of the Second Temple, Jews were scattered across Europe, the Middle East and North Africa. Despite often-brutal repression, many Jews thrived, creating new communities, cultural expressions, and even languages. Despite marginalisation, Jewish women were also key to this evolution, enthusia
How to solve a medieval murder
Taggart voice There's been a murder! Medieval life was full of murders! People were getting knifed all the time mate. But who was responsible for sorting the guilty from the innocent? What do God and intimate social knowledge have to do with it? And is this all a thinly-veiled excuse for Aran to do his incredible Poirot impression? For more information, see the University of Cambridge's Medieval M
How did the English language change during the Middle Ages? Part 2
Join the official WMG Discord server!! https://discord.gg/6GzvXdWX23
How did the English language change during the Middle Ages? Part 1
We've got a lovely two-parter lined up for you guys and it's all about the history of the English language during the Middle Ages! Join us as we follow English from its humble origins as a collection of Germanic dialects spoken by a bunch of illiterate, trousers-wearing mudmen from in 400AD to a real language spoken by relatively normal people who have things like books and kings and their own cou
MEDIEVAL PIRATES!!!!
Yarrrrrrrr!!!!!! Where's me BOOTY?! We all love stories about pirates, whether they're plundering Treasure Islands, fighting an octopus man, or stealing Tom Hanks' job. But did you know that the Middle Ages had pirates? They did! And they were just as swashbuckling, mercenary and unhinged as their later successors. Set sail with Olivia and Aran on the good ship Podcasting, as they set out to find
What did medieval people think about fossils?
Gather round, rockhounds! It's time to journey even further into the past than usual by taking a look at fossils through medieval eyes. Did dragon myths come from dinosaur bones? Did cyclops myths come from elephant bones? Can rocks be Jewish? All these questions and more, answered.....For more on some of what we discuss, check out: Lapis Judaicus or the Jews' stone: The folklore of fossil echinoi
Weird medieval mailbag volume 2
Happy New Year to all our Weird Medieval Guys podcast listeners and welcome back to our annual Q&A session! We solicited questions about history and the podcast from our Discord community and answered as many as we could for you. Listen on to hear about why we do silly voices, whether medieval people played drinking games, and more!Join our Discord server to be part of a wonderful community of
How to survive a medieval winter
The days have been getting shorter, the nights longer and the wind bitter-er. Even as the winter solstice draws near, the coming months of cold and darkness make spring seem still an eternity away. Making it through winter is never easy, so how did people in the Middle Ages get by? Join Olivia and Aran as they look into how people not only survived but thrived the whole medieval winter through.For
The Medieval Cosmos
This week, we're getting in our medieval spaceship and travelling through the medieval cosmos to find out just what medieval people thought about all of that space. We'll discuss some correct ideas they had, plenty of incorrect ones, and also how to use medieval astrology to make sure your medieval horse is in peak physical condition.For more on some of what we discuss, check out:The Stars and Hum
Pets in the Middle Ages
Here's a rhetorical question: do you love your pet? Of course you do, but did you know that medieval people did too? The only difference is, these pets had jobs! In this episode, Olivia and Aran delve into the wacky world of medieval cats and dogs, to explore what contemporary people wrote about them. Spoiler alert: they thought they were cool little guys. Also discussed: the official WMG dogs Bo
Medieval textiles
Oh my god the Weird Medieval Guys Podcast™ has gone cottagecore!You know what clothes are, you love wearing clothes. But someone has to make them, and in the Middle Ages, they didn't have industrial-scale fast fashion sweatshops. So who made them then? Well, sit back and enjoy as Olivia spins a yarn about the medieval textile industry. It's got everything you want in a Weird Medieval Guys Podcast™
Medieval witches
Infernal covenants, black sabbaths and missing infants; dark deeds are afoot in the forests of medieval Europe... or are they? It's a Halloween Spooktacular! When the Devil transforms Joe Mason into an angry amphibian, Olivia and Aran must venture deep into the woods* to find a witch who can restore his humanity. But first, they have to figure out what medieval people actually believed about witch
Why is Norse mythology so freaky?
Olivia and Aran are back with another zinger as they begin to start to somewhat unpack some of the absolutely insane customs and beliefs that made up the Norse pagan world view!Check out Snorri Sturlson's Prose Edda here:https://sacred-texts.com/neu/pre/index.htmAnd join the official WMG discord here: https://discord.gg/ZwHz5JDKkyThe music used in this episode is from Ísmús, an online Icelandic so
Prester John: a Medieval Conspiracy Theory
In the mid-12th century, a mysterious letter was circulating the courts of Christian Europe. Its supposed author was Prester John, a powerful, immortal Christian king who purported to rule a fantastical empire in India.Prester John was never real. But who wrote the letter and why? And why did Europeans spend centuries searching for him despite abundant evidence that the whole story was nonsense?To
Outtakes part 2: the hurdy-gurdy cut
Unfortunately, Aran and Olivia are still recovering from one heck of a summer! Regular WMG pod episodes will resume in two weeks' time. In the interim, please enjoy another dump of outtakes that we have pieced together in order to give you all a glimpse into the depths of your two hosts' sick, twisted minds.....
The Hundred Years' War Part IV: the Trial of Joan of Arc
Several weeks after Joan of Arc led the battle to lift the siege at Orleans, she was already famous across Europe. However, it was perhaps how her story ended that cemented her status as a hero of worldwide and eternal renown. Our series on the Hundred Years' War concludes here, with a final episode about Joan of Arc's capture, trial, fate, and legacy....
The Hundred Years' War Part III: the Maid of Orléans
As we continue our series on the Hundred Years' War, Armagnac cause has never seemed so hopeless. An Englishman sits on the French throne, the Scottish army has been crushed, and now the Armagnac stronghold of Orléans is about to fall. That is, until the emergence of the most unlikely hero: a charismatic peasant girl, who claims to speak to angels. In this episode, we chart the rise of Joan of Arc
The Hundred Years' War Part II: Danse Macabre
Our series on the Hundred Years' War continues with a deep dive into the events of the conflict and the consequences of a century of violence and death across Europe. Join Olivia and Aran as they discuss how the Black Death, rapid military and social developments, and a million succession crises almost brought France to the brink of defeat by the English. Until, somewhere in northeastern France, i
The Hundred Years' War Part I: the Lion and the Unicorn
A new, three-part epic kicks off in this episode of Weird Medieval Guys, covering the Hundred Years War, the apocalyptic conflict which forged the modern nations of England, France and Scotland. In this episode, Olivia and Aran chart the prelude to the conflict: the Scottish Wars of Independence. After the unexpected, heirless death of King Alexander III, Scotland is plunged into a crisis that thr
Why was football banned 30 times in medieval England?
The European football championships have kicked off, so it's time to talk sports! Join Olivia and Aran as they crack open a cold one or several and take a look at the long history of football in Europe, as well as the almost-as-long history of football hooliganism. In doing so, we will try to understand why there have been so many attempts to ban the sport....that is to say, why every attempt to d
The Holy Roman Empire: holy, Roman, AND an empire
It's time to get continental because on this episode of the Weird Medieval Guys podcast, we're heading to the Holy Roman Empire! When Voltaire famously said that the Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, Roman, nor an empire, he probably didn't think that his words would haunt history classrooms and conversations centuries in the future. Unfortunately they did, and so we are left to deal with the le
What to do if you get time travelled to the Middle Ages
Oh no! You've become unstuck in time and now you're in 15th century England with no idea what to do or how to avoid a miserable life as a social pariah who speaks an unrecognisable language and is ignorant to the rules and structure of the world around you! There has to be a better way! Or is there? Join Olivia and Aran as they journey back to medieval times to figure out the best way to get by. S
Vikings in the Arctic
It's grim up north...Why did a five-hundred-year-old Viking colony in Greenland suddenly disappear, with no trace or record? In this episode, Olivia, Aran, and local archaeologist Joe Mason assemble to try and solve one of the most enduring mysteries in medieval history. It's a quest that will take them out of the libertarian "paradise" of 11th century, to the freezing walrus-infested shores of Gr
Why the Middle Ages ended in 19th century Japan
Yes, you heard us right!! Join Olivia and Aran as they defend their most dubious claim to date, which is definitely not just an excuse to step beyond our usual remit and talk about the wild, delightful world that was Edo Period Japan! We explore why Edo Japan was so cut off from the world and the effects this had on its society, plus some of the cultural developments that took place along the way.
Medieval Welsh bards
Journey across space and time with Olivia and Aran this week as we head to medieval Wales, home of one of history's finest bardic traditions. But what was a bard, what did they do, and why did Wales have so darn many of them? Give the episode a listen to learn all this and more! Also discussed are sand worms, long houses, and why foxes are better than babes.For more on some of what we discuss, che
Weird medieval animal facts
Something tells me it's all happening at the zoo... Spring is just around the corner in the northern hemisphere, so it's time to learn some animal facts! Turns out, medieval people had all sorts of strange beliefs about wildlife both real and imagined. So, join Olivia, Aran, and beloved naturalist Sir David Attenborough* as they take you to meet fruit-rustling hedgehogs, homicidal pelicans, immort
How to design your medieval coat of arms
Anyone who's anyone in the Middle Ages needs their own coat of arms, but it's not as simple as just throwing some snazzy shapes and cool animals on a shield and calling it a day. Join Olivia and Aran as they walk you through how to make your very own authentically (or inauthentically) medieval coat of arms, as well as a little bit of background on how and why these cool emblems became a quintessen
Medieval Feminism
Weird Medieval Guys is back! And it's gone woke!!!!!!We all know medieval women didn't have it so good. Endlessly discriminated against in law, demeaned in culture and ignored in the histories. So, did anyone take issue with that? Turns out, yes! This week Olivia and Aran take you through the cultural milieu that produced Christine de Pizan, the poet / political scientist / gender polemnicist who
Constantinople part II: The sultan of Rome
The year is 1453 and the Ottomans are at the gates of the great city of Constantinople. For centuries, they have been laying siege to this city; for centuries their efforts have failed. But this time, everything is going to be different. Constantinople is going to fall.How did history lead them there, though? And how exactly are the events of the siege going to play out? Olivia and Aran wrap up th
Constantinople part I: The city of the world's desire
After nearly half a year adrift on the seas of medieval history, it is finally time for Olivia and Aran to wash ashore on the hospitable shores of a little town called CONSTANTINOPLE. Join us for part 1 of 2 about the great medieval megalopolis as we explore the city from its prehistoric foundation to its siege by Catholic crusaders. And be sure to stay tuned for part 2, the incredible story of th
Weird Medieval Mailbag
Weird Medieval Guys is back, and there's more audience participation than ever! In this episode, Aran and Olivia tackle a litany of listener questions on the most important medieval topics, like the conversion of the Vikings, the best names for dogs, and whether medieval life was mid and evil. Also discussed are jambalaya, the importance of simping and the gruesome fate of Mickey Mouse.Order Weird
How to host a medieval holiday party
In this episode, Olivia and Aran are joined by a delightful host of guests from Weird Medieval Guys podcast episodes past as they prepare to put on the perfect medieval holiday party. Join them for a journey through medieval festive traditions that will tell you everything you need to know to do the same, from what kind of booze to bring wassailing to what creature's head should be roast and serve
Bonus episode: the outtakes!
Due to Olivia's characteristic truancy, no episode could be recorded this week. In lieu of your regular WMGPod content, please enjoy this gag reel of previously-unseen podcast content featuring Olivia, Aran, and occasionally Joe Mason. In two weeks, we will return to our usual format!
Medieval student life
The Middle Ages gave us one of the longest-lasting institutions of education: the university. And where there are universities, there are sure to be students sowing chaos and destruction. Olivia and Aran are joined by a special guest, Joe Mason, as they explore the medieval origins of universities and take a look at the lives and activities of those who studied at them. Also discussed are the dang
Why Florence lived rent free in medieval people's heads
The Weird Medieval Guys book is now out!!! Head to linktr.ee/weirdmedievalguys to pick up a copy!Florence and its residents appear in late medieval popular culture across Europe, particularly in jokes at their expense. So why was everyone so obsessed with Florence? In this episode, Olivia and Aran take a look at how this Tuscan city grew to become a thriving centre of arts, banking, and trade by t
Medieval vampires
In this special Halloween episode of the Weird Medieval Guys podcast, Olivia and Aran take a look at the confluence of fact, fable and fear that created the medieval vampire myth. We then explore how that myth developed into the modern image of vampires that most people think of today, most notably how the titular character of Bram Stoker's novel Dracula came to be. Also discussed are why Dracula
What's the deal with jesters?
Jesters. They're just funny little guys with bells who hang around their medieval king and make wisecracks, right? As it turns out, there's actually a bit more to it. Olivia and Aran trace the origins and development of jesters, minstrels, fools, and other entertainers in the wider context of humour in the Middle Ages. Along the way, we meet some of medieval europe's weirdest guys and crack plenty
How to divorce your medieval wife
In the medieval world, divorce was illegal and marriage was forever. In most cases, at least. Olivia and Aran take on. the most pressing question of all, then: how can you leave your wife anyways? Starting in 8th century Wales and ending with post-medieval large boy Henry VIII, this is a casual jaunt through marital love and hatred in the Middle Ages. Also discussed are the goose in the room, the
Why did medieval artists draw the ancient world wrong?
Olivia and Aran tackle the much-maligned subject of medieval historical artwork, seeking to understand and explain why medieval artists depicted historical figures such as Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great as looking very......medieval. Also discussed are Sharknado, Sharknado 2: The Second One, and subsequent installations in the Sharknado franchise.
Would a single dorito really kill a medieval peasant?
Olivia and Aran take on their greatest challenge to date: two bags of doritos. We attempt to answer with as much rigour as possible the question of whether a medieval peasant would be knocked dead by a taste of the delightful snack. Then, we explore why medieval people loved spices so much that they took over half the world looking for them. Also discussed are the secrets to good soup, the ports a
Sieging for Dummies
Aran and Olivia cover one of the most iconic parts of medieval warfare: the siege. Learn more about the wacky weapons and machines that were used in medieval sieges plus the even wackier people who invented them. Also discussed are giant eggs, wizards, and unbeatable strategies for rock paper scissors. For more information about some of what we cover, check out:Orban and his giant cannon, Basilich
Medieval wife guys
Olivia and Aran explore three guys from the Middle Ages who gained fame, power and notoriety through their wives. At a time when husbands were expected to exercise complete control over their spouses, these men's stories are inextricably linked with their affection and respect for their wives. Also discussed are the true nature of Parisians, how Grimace came to be, and historical parallels with th
Medieval mythbusting
Olivia and Aran take on five common modern-day misconceptions about the Middle Ages and dig into what makes them so prevalent. These myths are, in order:The medieval world wasn't colourful (0:45)Most people in the Middle Ages were illiterateMedieval knights followed a strict chivalric codeMedieval communities were largely homogeneousMedieval peasants worked less than modern peopleAlso discussed ar
Why is medieval art so weird?
In this inaugural episode of the Weird Medieval Guys podcast, Olivia and Aran discuss why medieval art is so intriguing to modern viewers and what makes so much of it so weird. Also discussed are Galaxy Quest, Mel Gibson's crimes against the Middle Ages, and the future historic legacy of explicit images of Garfield the cat.For more information about some of what we cover:Listen to Ira Glass and Mi
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