This Thing Rules
This Thing Rules is a show where Brian Altano and Max Scoville celebrate their favorite things, covering a wide range of topics like movies, foods, cities, bands, shows, books, albums, toys, pictures, and moments. Each episode focuses on a different subject, exploring what makes it great, sharing personal anecdotes, and uncovering trivia. The hosts are long-time collaborators and best pals who enjoy celebrating the existence of these things.
Episodes
Conventions Rule!
From Comic-Cons on both coasts to gaming expos on multiple continents, we’ve attended our fair share of nerdy gatherings, and they’re great! This episode, we’re digging into that magic of getting a bunch of people in the same place who are all really excited about one thing. Sometimes that’s comics, video games or pinball tables, other times it’s… less family friendly activities.
Refrigerator Magnets, Short Stories and Breweries Rule!
This episode, we’re extrapolating on the joys of the most functional souvenirs with magnetic properties, our favorite short-form fiction, and one of the more wholesome settings to legally imbibe beer. Intro contains clips from Stranger Things, the trailer for Maximum Overdrive, The Simpsons (again) and Beerfest
Capsule Toy Machines Rule!
You know! Those things that are like gumball machines, but for little toys! Growing up in the USA, they usually dispensed a sticky hand, some slime, maybe a lil Homie, but in Japan they’ve been in another league for decades. We unpack (or perhaps unbox) the charm of randomly distributed toys and trinkets, some of our greatest gets, and the backwards order that we’ve become aware of them.Intro cont
Yard Work, Sneakers & Cookies Rule!
We’ve got another grab bag episode here, or rather, three very different bags: one’s a big paper bag full of dead leaves and grass clippings, another from a shoe store, and the third is from a bakery. This week we’re unpacking our love of gruelling manual labor in the hot sun to make our yards look nice, the timeless appeal of wearing athletic shoes all the time for completely unathletic activitie
Road Trips Rule!
Ah, hitting the open road! A timeless rite of passage and quintessentially American adventure, unless of course you’re stuck in the car with your whole family, taking the bus or making unexpected pit stops so your driver can hook up with random dudes. We recount some of our most memorable, or in some cases mercifully forgettable automobile journeys.Intro contains clips from National Lampoon’s Vaca
Carrot Cake Rules! ...Or Does It? (Featuring Alex "Kozibear" Kozina)
This week, it’s our most politically-charged and divisive topic yet: Carrot Cake. We’re joined by Alex “Kozibear” Kozina, long time friend of the show and culinary adventurer, to discuss the history and appeal of this vegetable-based confection. If you have any doubt of Kozi’s expertise on the matter, he further demonstrates his familiarity of the matter while making Snake Quake: The Official Cake
Lizards, Tunnels & Bubble Bobble Rule!
It’s another grab bag of odds and ends that we love: lizards, those dogs of the reptile kingdom, tunnels, those underground bridges, and Bubble Bobble, which is sort of about lizards in a tunnel, among other things. Which is your favorite thing?Intro contains clips from Daylight, a David Attenborough nature film, and Bubble Bobble.
Movie Theaters Rule!
Easily one of the top 5 best dark rooms you pay money to sit inside for several hours, movie theaters make for a singular experience, where people flock together to sit in silence and social interaction is generally frowned upon during the proceedings. We’ve seen this form of entertainment undergo some pretty major changes in our lifetimes, in some ways for the worse, but many for the better. Stil
Willy Wonka Rules!
Roald Dahl’s child-endangering chocolatier is one of the most beloved literary characters, turned into an iconic film character by Gene Wilder. We’ve gotten a Timothée Chalamet prequel that’s better than it should be and a Johnny Depp remake that we don’t need to talk about, but let’s unwrap this weirdo. Sure, he’s immensely problematic, but he also makes some cool candy, and he also happens to be
Christmas Eve Rules! (Featuring Jared Petty)
This episode, we’re joined by our most Santa Claus-like friend, Jared Petty, to discuss the night before Christmas. Like, the actual night, not the poem. We share some of our favorite memories, traditions, weird trivia, and learn a thing or two about the less family friendly ways it’s observed in some other parts of the world.Intro contains clips from Tenacious D & Sum 41’s “Things I Want,” Ba
Haircuts Rule!
This week we’re taking a little off the top, and tipping our hat to the age-old ceremony of lowering one’s ears. Or, in laymen’s terms, getting a haircut. We recount some of our proudest coiffures and worst folicular debacles, and lament the challenges of not knowing what to do with the stuff on top of your head as you grow older.It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at p
Fridays Rule!
Almost the weekend! Friday is technically a weekday, but it’s not like the other weekdays: it’s a COOL weekday. We discuss the origins, pop cultural significance, and our own personal feelings about this weekly light at the end of the tunnel.It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and T
Autumn Rules!
Or wait, is it fall? Whichever, it's great, and not just because of Halloween. You know, aside from our vestigial back-to-school anxiety, rapidly approaching seasonal depression, the looming threat of bad weather, and the fact that we have no idea what time of year at any given point anyway because California barely has seasons. In any case, it’s a chance to talk about changing holiday traditi
Bats, Gum & Nice New Pens Rule!
This week, Max has a surprise grab bag for Brian! Will he think these things rule as much as Max does? We discuss everyone’s favorite flying rodent that isn’t a flying squirrel, gum of the chewing and blowing variety, and the thrill of getting a nice new writing implement. It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support
Gingerbread Houses, Snaggletooth & Stegosauruses Rule!
This week, Brian prepared a special surprise variety pack grab bag of things that he thinks Max might be a big fan of. Gingerbread Houses, those once-seasonal edible wiccan domiciles that have since become a year-round architectural novelty, Snaggletooth, who is one (or two) of the most iconic cantina aliens from Star Wars, and Stegosaurses. A dinosaur, that probably had feathers but almost defini
Album Covers Rule!
How music looks isn’t as important as how it sounds, but it certainly plays a role. This episode, we talk about our relationship with album covers, which sometimes look like the music they’re promoting, sometimes look like something else entirely, and sometimes don’t look like anything at all. Huge thanks to Patreon backer Thijis Van Sise for suggesting the topic.It would totally rule if you helpe
Grilling Rules!
At one point, using fire to cook stuff outside was part of daily life, but now it’s just a way of microdosing caveman life. Whether you’re using gas, charcoal, or a hot sidewalk, there’s something wonderful about preparing food outdoors, so crack open a cold one and join us as we discuss our favorite recipes, methods, anecdotes, near-disasters, and questionable tips about this great pastime. It wo
Toy Commercials Rule!
This week, we’re delving into a very special sort of generational brain damage that we can specifically blame/thank the Reagan administration for: toy commercials! Growing up the 80s and 90s, children’s programming was practically indistinguishable from advertising, so why shouldn’t we have equal amounts of nostalgia for this particular type of bite-sized marketings? Let’s take a look back at some
Travel Rules! (Live From Düsseldorf)
This episode, we tried something new and recorded on location from a restaurant in Düsseldorf, Germany. We sampled the local beer and talked about some of our adventures in Deutschland, including regional varieties of gummi candy, museums, kiosks, cities in which you can actually get around on foot, bees, yellow jackets, and other stuff. Apologies for the background noise, this was an experiment!
Keith David, Fire & Bread Bag Clips Rule!
This week, we’re tackling a few extremely unrelated things that rule: fire (the element), Keith David (the actor) and bread bag clips (the clips that come on bags of bread.) Why, you ask? Well, it was your idea - specifically, the suggestions of our Patreon members Mikhail Kaban, Krystal Stewart, SuperMecha, Bruce Wayne Brady and Jack Peterman. It would totally rule if you helped support the show
Comic-Con Rules!
Comic-Con! What was once a niche gathering of outcasts has become a massive pop-culture spectacle, and even with the infusion of blockbuster media franchises, it’s still a wonderful time, whether you’re in San Diego, New York or somewhere in between. This episode, we reflect on the rise of comic book and sci-fi convention culture, our first exposure to it, some of our most bizarre adventures there
Swimming Rules!
Come on in, the water’s fine! This week, we’re talking about one of the most simple, possibly primordial, occasionally deadly pleasures in life, which is traversing a body of water for recreational purposes. Y’know, swimming! It’s an essential survival skill, but also just a nice thing to do when it’s hot out, whether it’s in a pool, ocean, lake, river, pond, watering hole, crick, spigot or some c
Concerts Rule!
Concerts! One of the most expensive and exhausting ways to lose hearing and form lasting memories, this week we’re discussing our own histories seeing live music. From Brian’s countless hip-hop shows in New York City to Max’s repeated accidental patronage of Jefferson Starship, we have plenty of anecdotes. Are they more entertaining than attending an actual concert yourself? No. Is the audio quali
Hot Dogs Rule!
Hot dogs, dogs, frankfurters, franks, wieners, weenies or tube steak, whatever you call these silly cylinders, they’re a good time! Whether you’re eating them in the backyard, at a ball game, on the street, or hunched over your kitchen sink, stupid dudes like us would have starved to death ages ago without their questionable sustenance. Join us as we discuss some regional varieties, questionable
Trucks (The Non-Ice Cream Kind) Rule!
Last week we talked about our love of trucks that have ice cream inside, and this week… we’re talking about all the other kinds! But hold on, what’s a truck? A pickup? A steamroller? The Power Loader from Aliens? What we lack in expertise or first-hand experience, we make up for with an appreciation of wheeled wonders that also sometimes have big tank treads. Little trucks, big trucks, old trucks,
Ice Cream Trucks Rule!
Easily the most beloved vehicles exclusively designed for selling dessert on the street, ice cream trucks are a staple of childhood, a beloved tradition, a lucrative side-hustle and a pretty hilarious human invention. Brian has prepared a short presentation on ice cream trucks, but not ice cream bikes or ice cream boats, as well as some of the better delicacies served by them.It would totally rule
Mountain Dew Rules! (Featuring Seth Macy)
Ya-hooooo! Mountain Dew! This week, we’re joined by good friend, esteemed colleague, and X-treme Dew-ficionado Seth Macy to talk about the history of a highly caffeinated, neon yellow soft drink. From its bootleg backwoods origins to its role as a pseudo-sports drink, to a staple of nerdy all-nighters, we have some fond memories slamming various flavors of Dew - and there have been a lot over the
Sandcastles, Breakfast Pastries and Pocket Knives Rule!
This week, it’s a bit of a grab bag. A grab bag full of beach sand, cinnamon rolls and sharp objects! This week, we’re a bit fried, so we’re trying shaking things up and doing scatterbrained variety pack episode on sandcastles, one of the most fun things you can legally do with a bucket, breakfast pastries, those glorious desserts of the ante meridiem, and pocket knives, a timeless must-have acces
Dive Bars Rule!
You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy (and quaint charm) than a dive bar. But what makes a good dive bar, aside from underwhelming decor and moderately-whelming beverages at an equally moderate price? Let’s discuss the charms of the American pub, tavern, watering hole and/or dank pit. It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrule
Game Boy Rules!
Oh boy! The original portable gaming device may not exactly fit into most pockets, but it sure found a warm and cozy place in the hearts of countless gamers, from young children to important Tetris-addict businessmen. We take a look back at Nintendo’s original grey, AA-battery devouring brick, and its place not just as an important part of our childhoods and gaming history, but as a landmark piece
Sunglasses Rule!
Whether you’re crying, hungover, a spy, a Terminator, trying to see if aliens are running society, or if it’s just really bright out, sunglasses are a must-have item. This episode, we don our rose tinted glasses of nostalgia (which are prescription, making everything in hindsight 20/20) and look back at the history of light-blocking eyewear. From the earliest iterations in the 12th century made of
Airplanes Rule!
Of all the stuff human beings have figured out, the ability to travel by air is definitely one of the most impressive. Even more impressive, this stunning achievement has become such a ubiquitous form of travel that it’s actually a little boring! But let’s take a moment to appreciate just how cool it is that flying machines exist, but that we’re allowed to go on them as long as we briefly take our
Breakfast Sandwiches Rule!
Not just part of a complete breakfast, but a complete breakfast in and of itself, the quintessential blue collar morning meal is an American staple to rival the noble cheeseburger… But what makes a good breakfast sandwich? Eggs, cheese, some kind of meat, stuck between some sort of complex carbohydrate. Surely no one could screw that up, right? Well, you’d think so. Join us as we discuss the merit
Easter Candy Rules!
From Cadbury Creme Eggs to Peeps to the ubiquitous egg-adjacent jelly bean, Easter candy is one of the sweetest parts of springtime. The vaguely pagan animal-centric traditions that come along with it really don’t make a ton of sense, especially in relation to the main event’s significance in Christianity, but we’re not complaining. So, let’s talk about oviparous lagomorphs, marshmallow baby chick
IKEA Rules!
Whether you love labyrinths, mystery meatballs, funny sounding words or great deals on housewares and modular furniture, IKEA has it all. Join us as we follow the arrows on the floor through the history, charm, quirks, and shockingly dark side of the world’s largest furniture chain… that also sells cat leashes and hot dogs.It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.
Arcades Rule!
Arcades, as in a place where a bunch of arcade cabinets, pinball tables, and other assorted large and loud coin operated distraction units were collected to entertain people, started in the late 70s/early 80s. For the sake of this episode we’re gonna skip to this era and not dwell on the penny arcade/nickelodeon era of old timey crank machines you can still find at Disneyland or Fisherman’s Wharf
Far Cry Rules!
Do you know the definition of insanity? Well, doing the same thing over and over again, but especially when that thing involves using a grenade launcher to blow the door off a wild animal cage, simultaneously freeing the dangerous beast, but also setting it on fire and pissing it off so much that it runs around biting bad guys in the neck while also setting them on fire too. And that’s a thing you
Tom & Jerry Rules!
The most iconic cat and mouse duo have been ruthlessly trying to kill each other for almost a century, and there’s something timeless about good old fashioned slapstick animal violence. Join us as we dig into the history of this timeless, hilarious, often messed-up, and occasionally flat-out problematic cartoon.Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthi
Teeth Rule!
What? They do! They let us chew our food, smile, grimace, and give us something to floss in a literal, non-Fortnite dance fashion. Join as we marvel at those fascinating, slightly creepy lil’ pearly whites, their place in popular culture, and various anecdotes involving dental professionals, tooth fairies, and everything in between. Special thanks to A.C. MacKenzie for writing in and suggesting su
Model Kits Rule!
In this 1:1 scale recreation of a conversation between two friends, Max gives Brian a crash course on plastic model kits, something he had a passing interest in as a kid, but which escalated into a full-on obsession in adulthood. We discuss the origins of the hobby compared to what it’s like now, from pre-WWII models of planes that would eventually wind up in WWII to intricate replicas of very bor
Mornings Rule!
In what’s possibly our most divisive and controversial episode to date, we tell you why we both enjoy a particular time of day that a whole lot of people would rather spend being unconscious than doing anything else. Ironically, two guys who used to host a show called “Up At Noon” are, in fact, “morning people.” But wait, let’s talk about how we got this way, what’s keeping us this way, and why we
Stickers Rule!
Who doesn’t love stickers? Colorful, cool, funny, shiny, informative and occasionally stinky little pictures or messages that can be used to decorate objects and surfaces, giving a personal possession (or public property) a little more personality. We run down some of the more novel places stickers have come from and where they’ve wound up, from Ray Avery’s original “Kum Kleen Price Stickers” in 1
Swords Rule!
Schwing! This episode is all about the S-word: SWORDS. Over the course of the next hour, you may learn a thing or two about the history of bladed weapons, but we spend most of our time goofing off and talking about our favorite swords in popular culture, from iconic movie blades in films like Lord of the Rings, Highlander, Kill Bill, and uh, Blade and also Brian’s favorite video game swords, from
Alien (The Movie) Rules!
In space, no one can hear you scream, but in this episode, you can definitely hear us get real excited about Alien, the original 1979 film that started it all. Enough has been said about how it’s an undeniable classic that revolutionized cinema, etc, but it’s also a miracle it ever got made. Did you know that bringing the various forms of the iconic Xenomorph to life required actual human bones, a
Monsters Rule!
“Monsters!" by Brian, Age 42(?)Monsters are fictional (not real, we think) things that have existed (or not?) through basically all of human history, primarily as a mechanism to scare children or to provide cool things to torment or kill people in books, movies, TV shows, video games, comics, and campfire tales. There is not one under your bed or in your closet right now, probably, but the way the
Special Episode: What Did We Listen to in 2024?
In honor of the holidays (and us being pretty fried because of the holidays, and the entire year that preceded them) this week’s episode is even more laid back and conversational than normal, and we hit record without any specific topic in mind. After some muttering and grumbling about getting older, and also how we were friends with Dash Rendar without realizing it, the conversation turned to wha
Christmas Movies Rule!
‘Tis the season! From wholesome feel-good classics like “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “A Charlie Brown Christmas” to vaguely off-color classics like “National Lampoon’s Christmas” and “Love, Actually” to flat-out misanthropic filth like “Bad Santa” or “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York,” there are are a lot of movies about, or at least, involving Christmas. So, let’s talk about some favorites, some les
Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire Rules!
In 1996, Star Wars was in a weird spot. The Original Trilogy was a long time ago, and the Prequel Trilogy was still far, far away, but thanks to the rapidly expanding Expanded Universe in the form of books, comics and games, fans had plenty keeping them busy. So, to capitalize on this, and test the waters for interest in a new movie, Lucasfilm did the next best thing to making a movie: making ever
McDonaldland Rules! Featuring Scott Bromley
This week, we’re joined by our pal Scott Bromley to discuss one of the most beloved fantasy realms ever created by a fast food restaurant’s marketing teams: McDonaldland. Okay, so, maybe the food isn’t healthy, and the play structure is a deathtrap at best, and the Happy Meal toys and packaging are a blight on landfills, but at least Ronald McDonald, Grimace and The Hamburglar are pretty cool, rig
Being a Dad Rules!
This week, we're tackling something that's probably too broad of a subject to fit in one episode, and which is something of a moving target, but which definitely rules. We share some personal anecdotes, as well as various trials, tribulations and existential dilemmas posed by creating another human being. (Sorry if this episode description is a little scatterbrained, while writing it, my kid neede
Slime Rules!
Slime has existed for all of time in some form, probably. The first slime ever was primordial ooze which many believe was made of random earth slop that came together to form life. Slime as a toy was first introduced by Mattel in 1976 and it was literally just a plastic garbage can full of slime for kids over 5 and was labeled as “gooey, drippy, oozey, cold, ‘n clammy” It was mostly made of guar g
Jabba The Hutt Rules!
Hoo hoo hoo. Okay, so maybe Jabba isn't exactly a role model, or particularly family-friendly, but that slimy piece of worm-ridden filth is one of our favorite parts of Star Wars, both in-universe as a terrifying villain, and behind-the-scenes as a completely absurd achievement in special effects in both practical and CGI forms. We delve into our first exposure to Jabba, reflect on why we love him
'90s Marvel Trading Cards Rule!
Greetings, true believers! Long before the Marvel Universe was the multimedia pop-culture behemoth it is today, it was primarily relegated to the world of paper products: comics, obviously, but also trading cards - which was some of our earliest exposure to countless colorful characters. We revisit some of our favorites, from Fleer Ultra X-Men to Marvel Masterpieces, and dig into some of the histo
Halloween Costumes Rule!
Going door to door asking for candy from strangers is a pretty strange thing to do, but what if you wore a ridiculous outfit while doing so? Somehow that’s become a totally normal tradition that we do every year. As much fun as the candy and spooky decor is, one of the most fun things about Halloween is getting to dress up as whatever the hell you want to. We take a look back at some of the origin
Halloween (The Movie Series) Rules! Featuring Ryan Scott
Evil dies tonight! Or, gets discussed at great length. We’re joined by our dear friend Ryan Scott to discuss Halloween, the long-running series of slasher movies based on the even longer-running actual holiday. SPOILER WARNING! You’ve had plenty of time to get up to speed on this 40+ year old movie series, so we’re assuming you’ve watched them all, or don't care if we tell you how the crappy ones
Skeletons Rule!
Let’s face it, without a skeleton, you’d be a puddle of floppy wet stuff. Plus, without skeletons, Halloween decorations would be 90% pumpkin, and that would be stupid as hell. Let’s talk about these terrifying latices of rigid calcium and other stuff we all use to wobble our haggard wet gets across this miserable earth, and also, our favorite instances of skeletal and bone-adjacent characters in
Monster Cereal Rules!
It’s once again that time of year when those breakfast ghouls descend upon the cereal aisle. We’re of course referring to Count Chocula, Franken Berry, Boo Berry and their fairweather cohorts, Frute Brute and Yummy Mummy, as well as their newest addition, Carmella Creeper. We delve into the history of these bizarre breakfast mascots, including their controversies, artistic endeavors, and occasiona
Convenience Stores Rule!
Ding-dong! That’s both the noise you hear when you walk into a convenience store, a brand of packaged baked good that’s probably available within, and the sort of person who’d spend over an hour talking about their love of these establishments that are somewhere between a fast food restaurant and a grocery store. Depending on where you live, you may have another term for a convenience store, like
Action Figures Rule!
Action figures rule! We’ve been collecting small articulated plastic humanoids for decades, and we’re not quite sure why! We dig into the history of these highly collectible NOT-dolls from their Kung-Fu Grip origins with the original 12-inch G.I. Joe, to Kenner’s 3 ¾” Star Wars line that revolutionized the industry, to our own personal origin stories bashing together Dengars, Dreadnoks, and Deadpo
Bloody Marys Rule!
Who doesn't want a nice tall glass of salt and hard liquor first thing in the morning? Well, healthy people, probably. Well, what if there was tomato juice and celery too, is that healthy enough for you? The Bloody Mary is an absurd cocktail no matter how you look at it, but it gets even dumber when you start sticking asparagus and strips of bacon and maybe even small hamburgers in it. Yet, th
Gummi Candy Rules!
Gummi candy rules! But wait, what counts as “gummi?” Gummi bears, sure, but not gum. What about fruit snacks, Swedish Fish, Jelly Babies, and so on? It’s hard to say, but one thing’s for certain: that Haribo bear is suspicious as all hell. Still, we’re willing to let it slide because he makes such yummy little candies. We (“we”) actually did some research for this episode, and we’re happy to repor
Alligators Rule!
Alligators rule! And so do crocodiles! Though they’re regularly vilified in popular media, these modern-day dinosaurs (that aaaaactually have been around almost as long) don’t deserve such a bad rep. We were fascinated with these radical reptiles as kids, and as adults, we’ve somehow wound up dealing with them for vaguely work-related reasons on more than one occasion, which just got us even more
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