Oldest Stories
Oldest Stories is a history and mythology podcast focusing on the ancient civilizations of Mesopotamia, from the dawn of writing through the Bronze Age. It covers Sumer, Akkad, Old Babylon, the Hittites, Israel, and the Assyrian Empire, blending myths of heroes and gods with tales of daily life. New episodes are released every other Wednesday.
Episodes
The Pedubastis Cycle
The Pedubastis Cycle is a group of ancient Egyptian heroic tales centered on Pharaoh Pedubastis, Inaros, Petechonsis, Pemaus, and the powerful local rulers of Egypt during the centuries surrounding the Assyrian invasions. Preserved mainly in fragmentary Demotic Egyptian manuscripts from later periods, these stories transform an obscure era of Egyptian political fragmentation into a legendary age o
Assyrian Omen Science
How did ancient Assyria use divination, astrology, and animal livers to make decisions of war, government, and royal policy? Under King Esarhaddon, the Neo-Assyrian Empire developed one of the ancient world’s most sophisticated systems of omen interpretation, combining centuries of recorded observations with extispicy, celestial omens, ritual expertise, and consultation with the gods.This episode
The Cimmerian Horse Lords
The Cimmerians were among the first great horse nomad powers to crash into the civilizations of the ancient Near East. Emerging from the Scytho-Siberian world north of the Caucasus, they struck Urartu, devastated Phrygia and Lydia, raided deep into the Near East, and became legendary in Greek memory as one of the great barbarian terrors of antiquity.But how dangerous were they really?In this episo
Esarhaddon and the Empire That Ran Itself
Esarhaddon inherited the Neo-Assyrian Empire at the height of its power—but his kingship looked very different from that of the warrior-kings who came before him. Plagued by questions of legitimacy, surrounded by prophets and diviners, and often absent from his own military campaigns, Esarhaddon nevertheless presided over an extraordinarily aggressive and successful Assyrian state.This episode fol
The Lessons of Ahiqar
The ancient story of Ahiqar follows a legendary wise man and royal adviser at the court of the Assyrian king Sennacherib. After adopting his nephew Nadan and teaching him a long collection of proverbs, Ahiqar is betrayed, falsely accused of treason, condemned to death, and forced to hide beneath his own house. His eventual return leads to a strange contest of riddles with the Pharaoh of Egypt and
Sennacherib’s Last Omen
In the final years of Sennacherib’s reign, the Neo-Assyrian Empire entered a strange period of peace. After decades of war, conquest, rebellion, and the destruction of Babylon, the greatest military power of the ancient Near East suddenly stopped expanding.Was Sennacherib simply more interested in building Nineveh than campaigning abroad? Had Assyria reached the natural limits of profitable conque
The Bottom of the Mesopotamia Iceberg
An examination of the deepest level of the Ancient Mesopotamia iceberg, commonly labeled "Theories and Speculative Ideas." The video reviews each claim against primary sources from Sumer, Akkad, Babylon, and Assyria, including cuneiform tablets, excavation reports, and geological data, to demonstrate how historical method evaluates extraordinary claims.Coverage includes: Ancient Astronau
Sennacherib Builds a Paradise in Nineveh
Sennacherib is remembered as one of the most powerful kings of the Neo-Assyrian Empire, but his greatest legacy may not have been conquest. It was Nineveh: a rebuilt imperial capital of canals, gardens, temples, walls, lamassu, and the famous Palace Without Rival.In this episode of Oldest Stories, we look at Sennacherib’s engineering innovations and his massive transformation of Nineveh in the lat
Lachish and How an Assyrian Siege Worked
Its the siege of Lachish, but also a much more wide ranging explanation of Assyrian siegecraft more generally. Including how it was recognizably modern and, in many ways, responsible for modernity.
Sennacherib vs Hezekiah in 701 BCE: Isaiah and the Battle of Eltekeh
In 701 BCE, Assyrian king Sennacherib launched his western campaign against Judah, bringing him into direct conflict with King Hezekiah and the political counsel of the prophet Isaiah. The decisive field battle of that year was not at Jerusalem, but at Eltekeh, where Assyrian troops defeated an Egyptian and Kushite force sent to support the rebellious Philistine city of Ekron.This episode reconstr
Babylon Had It Coming
Babylon had survived five destructions before Sennacherib tried to erase it for good. Why did Assyria's most bookish king — a man who loved Babylonian scholarship — finally flood the city and smash its temples in 689 BCE?This is Oldest Stories, a biweekly deep dive into ancient Mesopotamia. Online at oldeststories.netIn this episode we trace Babylon's strange immortality: a city founded ar
Sennacherib's Inheritance
Sennacherib is remembered in the Bible as a villain, the Assyrian king who invaded Judah and stood against Jerusalem. But that reputation, like his father Sargon’s as a world conqueror, may be misleading. Beneath the image of the tyrant is a ruler who was unusually patient, deeply pious, and more interested in building than destroying.In this episode of Oldest Stories, we enter the Sargonid period
The Doom of Sargon II
This episode examines the final major campaign of Sargon II of Assyria (reigned 722–705 BCE) and the long conflict with the Chaldean ruler Marduk-apla-iddina II (Merodach-Baladan) for control of Babylonia. Early in Sargon’s reign the Neo-Assyrian king suffered a serious defeat near the city of Der when an Elamite army intervened in support of the Babylonian revolt. The loss allowed Merodach-Balada
AI and History
How does one "do" history, and can an AI do it? The answers:1. You don't "do" history, you feel it.2. AI can do the actions of history, but it can't feel it.Bonus rant: I never liked the idea that the point of history is to learn from the past. Yes, there is learning to be done, that can be both useful and fun, but I feel that this reduces history to something less than
The Golden Years of Sargon II
Oldest Stories Album available here: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/oldeststoriesmusic/oldest-stories-vol-1 but also possibly on your favorite music distributor service also. Check it out!This episode examines the middle years of the reign of Sargon II of Assyria (r. 722–705 BCE) during a brief period when the Assyrian Empire faced unusually little large-scale war. Following Sargon’s major vict
Neo-Assyrian Imperial Administration
This episode explores how the Neo-Assyrian Empire actually functioned at the administrative level under Sargon II, focusing on imperial bureaucracy, logistics, and governance. Using surviving Assyrian letters and court records, we examine the real machinery of empire: provincial governors, royal magnates, intelligence networks, military command structure, taxation, construction logistics, and the
The Great Invasion of Urartu
In this episode of Oldest Stories, we cover Sargon II of Assyria and his most famous campaign: the Great Invasion of Urartu (714 BCE), centered on the extraordinary Assyrian text known as Sargon’s Letter to Ashur. This episode examines the Neo-Assyrian Empire, Assyrian military strategy, intelligence networks, and imperial warfare in the late 8th century BCE, drawing directly from Assyrian royal i
The Composition of the Sargonid Army
In this episode, we break down the composition of the Neo-Assyrian Army under the Sargonid dynasty (Tiglath-Pileser III, Sargon II, and their successors) and explain why Assyria’s battlefield dominance in the 8th–7th centuries BCE was not just “more men” or “more brutality,” but a specific military system built around logistics, organization, and a flexible combined-arms force.You’ll learn what th
The Environment in which the Assyrian Army Emerged
In this episode of Oldest Stories, we step back from the famous conquests of the Neo-Assyrian Empire to ask a more fundamental question: what did ancient warfare actually look like on the ground, and how did the Assyrian army emerge from thousands of years of evolving combat traditions? Focusing on the world that produced the Sargonid military system, this episode examines the deep origins of orga
A Tour of Dur-Sharrukin
Today we attempt an immersive historical reconstruction of Dur-Sharrukin, the short-lived but astonishing capital built by Sargon II of Assyria in the late eighth century BCE. Set primarily in 706 BCE, this episode takes the listener on a guided tour of the city at the height of its splendor, using a fictional Urartian envoy as a narrative lens to explore what may be the most ambitious urban proje
The Rise and Fall and Rise Again of Dur-Sharrukin
Apologies for my voice and the lack of graphics. Been sick again and barely got this out today.Episode 179 examines the founding, construction, abandonment, and rediscovery of Dur-Sharrukin (Khorsabad), the short-lived royal capital built by Sargon II of Assyria in the late eighth century BCE. The narrative begins with the history of early Mesopotamian excavation through the career of Paul-Émile B
The Ascendency of Sargon II
Sargon II of Assyria faces a crisis of legitimacy after a humiliating defeat, but transforms potential disaster into triumph through military genius and calculated brutality. This episode chronicles his desperate 720 BCE campaign from Mesopotamia to the Levant, where he perfects combined arms warfare and decimates Samaria so thoroughly that ten tribes of Israel vanish from history.Following his co
The Ill-Omened Origins of Sargon II
Listen all the way to the end for a special musical feature about Sargon II. This episode explores one of the most pivotal and least understood turning points in Neo-Assyrian history, examining the rise of a king whose origins, motives, and very name remain contested even after a century of scholarship. These are the Oldest Stories, available at OldestStories.net. Note that the song at the end of
Shalmaneser the Least
In 727 BCE, the death of Tiglath-Pileser III—one of Assyria’s greatest reformers and conquerors—brought to the throne his son Ululayu, known to history by his regnal name Shalmaneser V. This episode of Oldest Stories examines the short, poorly documented, yet pivotal reign of Shalmaneser the Least, exploring the troubled transition between the age of Tiglath-Pileser’s reform and the rise of Sargon
Tiglath-Pileser Defeats Israel
Yes, there are more important things in the Syro-Ephraimite war than Israel's defeat, but the whole three year campaign is hugely important in world history, even if the things we consider to have been important were really just sort of side shows to the main action. We follow the full campaign in detail as Tiglath-Pileser confirms his final near eastern conquest.I am also doing daily history
Mesopotamia and the Occult: Discussions on the Ancient World
Nathaniel Heutmaker of the Grail Sciences Podcast and James Bleckley of the Oldest Stories podcast sat down to discuss Mesopotamian myth from an occult perspective. But they ended up sitting for hours and hours over multiple days and got off track more than once. Because I find a bunch of it interesting, I cut the most interesting clips together for you today, so hear you can hear Nathaniel's
Mesopotamia and the Occult: The Mortal King in Depth
Gilgamesh is the oldest and greatest hero of recorded human legend. The epic as a whole questions what it means to be human, warns of the dangers of spurning a beautiful woman, and meditates deeply on the meaning of immortality. All that plus a good adventure story at the same time! James Bleckley of the Oldest Stories Podcast sits down with Nathaniel Heutmaker of the Grail Sciences Podcast to dis
Mesopotamia and the Occult: Dying and Rising in Depth
Dumuzid, the oldest known exemplar of the dying and rising king, is also in many ways the most exceptional. Lover of Inanna, he was apparently quite done with her passionate antics and celebrated when she died, only to be dragged into the underworld for his impiety. But what does it really mean and why has the image endured? James Bleckley of the Oldest Stories Podcast sits down with Nathaniel Heu
Mesopotamia and the Occult: The Passionate Woman in Depth
Inanna, queen of heaven, who descended into the underworld. It is among the oldest stories of the mythology of the world, but also one of the most significant. James Bleckley of the Oldest Stories Podcast sits down with Nathaniel Heutmaker of the Grail Sciences Podcast to discuss this ancient tale from both an historical and an occult perspective. The Grail Sciences Podcast covers the deeper meani
The Four Failures of Tiglath-Pileser III
In this episode of Oldest Stories, we explore the later reign of Tiglath-Pileser III, one of the most transformative kings of the Neo-Assyrian Empire. By the late 8th century BCE, Assyria’s power seemed unstoppable, yet beneath the victories lay structural weaknesses.We examine four key failures that reveal how the empire actually worked:The eastern provincial revolts of 737 BCE, exposing the limi
Deportation, Castration, and Education - The Foundations of Neo-Assyria
What do mass deportation, smashed testicles, and elite boarding schools have in common? In this episode, we take a hard look at the shockingly effective—and horrifyingly brutal—bureaucratic machine that powered the Neo-Assyrian Empire.With the rise of Tiglath-Pileser III in the 8th century BCE, Assyria transformed into one of the most ruthlessly efficient states the ancient world had ever seen. At
The Full Story of Ea-Nasir's Copper
You have seen the memes, and maybe you are even familiar with them, but today we look at who was the famous Ea-Nasir, why people would buy from him, and what scams he was probably running. We ask how often Mesopotamians complained about things, and we learn a bit along the way.In this episode, we go far beyond the famous complaint tablet to uncover the full economic and historical context of Ea-Na
Establishing Assyrian Dominance
In 743 BCE, Tiglath-Pileser III—known in the Bible as Pul—led the Assyrian Empire into its most powerful and centralized form. This episode of Oldest Stories chronicles the dramatic military and political resurgence of Neo-Assyria as it faced two major threats: the rising Urartian kingdom of Biainilli to the north and the rebellious patchwork of Neo-Hittite and Aramean states in Syria. With detail
Tiglath-Pileser's Revolution
This episode is the essential starting point for understanding the Neo-Assyrian Empire. In 745 BCE, a relatively obscure man named Tukulti-Apil-Esharra—better known by his biblical name Tiglath-Pileser III—seized the Assyrian throne in what would become one of the most transformative moments in ancient Near Eastern history. This episode explores how Tiglath-Pileser's revolutionary reforms resh
The Assyrian Deep State
This is where to start for the Neo-Assyrian Empire’s epic tale. In this foundational episode, we return to the heartland of Assyria at its lowest point—between the conquests of Shalmaneser III and the revolutionary rise of Tiglath-Pileser III. It is a time of political decay, military paralysis, and divine silence. We explore the full sweep of Assyrian history from its founding in the third millen
OS 168 - The Golden Age of Urartu
In this episode of Oldest Stories, we return to the Armenian Highlands in 786 BCE to witness the death of King Menua of Urartu (Biainilli) and the rise of his son Argishti I—a transition that begins the golden age of the Urartian kingdom. Explore the geopolitics, warfare, urbanization, and social engineering of one of the most impressive and least understood Iron Age empires.We trace Argishti I’s
OS 167 - The Northern Wars: Etiuni, Urartu, and Diauehi
Buy the Oldest Stories books!: https://a.co/d/7Wn4jhS :In this episode of Oldest Stories, we explore the complex military and political history of Urartu during its northern campaigns in the early 8th century BCE. As King Menua consolidates power and expands Biainilli influence into the Armenian Highlands, he clashes with the highland polities of Etiuni and Diauehi—two distinct yet influential gro
OS 166 - The Forges of Urartu
Sorry for the late post - Spotify had this scheduled, but didn't post it on the correct day.Today we look at the daily life and industry of the Armenian highland kingdom of Urartu through the eyes of three Hurrians, a miner, a smelter, and an iron worker. This is a historical fiction, but it is based on what we can know about the industries and daily life of that era. I am also doing daily his
OS 165 - The Kings of Urartu
Today we witness the transformation of Urartu—called Biainilli in its own time—from a fledgling mountain kingdom into a formidable Iron Age empire that would challenge Assyria itself. Following Sarduri’s founding of Tushpa, his successors Ishpuini and Menua laid the military, economic, and administrative foundations of a true state.We explore the first co-regency in Urartian history, Ishpuini’s ea
OS 164 - The Rise of Urartu
In this episode, we explore one of the most dramatic and mysterious transformations in ancient Near Eastern history: the sudden rise of the Kingdom of Urartu—known to its own people as Biainilli—under the leadership of Sarduri I, son of Lutipri. From roughly 835 BCE, Sarduri doesn't merely shift a capital; he constructs an entire state system seemingly from the ground up on the eastern shore o
OS 163 - The Birth of Urartu
Explore the fascinating rise of Urartu, an ancient kingdom forged in the crucible of war and environmental hardship. In just two decades during the mid-9th century BCE, this mountainous backwater transformed into a powerful and advanced state, boasting fortress cities, aqueducts, and cutting-edge metallurgy. How did the disparate Hurrian tribes of the Armenian Highlands unite under King Sarduri I,
OS 162 - The Rise of Phrygia
In the wake of the Bronze Age Collapse, a new power emerged in central Anatolia—the Phrygians. This episode examines their origins, tracing their migration from the Balkans and their settlement in the lands west of the former Hittite heartland. Drawing from archaeology and historical sources, we explore how the Phrygians established themselves as skilled wool workers, metalworkers, and cavalrymen,
OS 161 - A Kingdom of Honey and Blood: The Suhu Rebellion
Suhu is a only modestly important region, and the independant kingdom that lived on the Middle Euphrates from perhaps 775 BCE to 744 BCE is barely more than an historical footnote. And yet, because they wrote their stories on stone stele, we can talk about the two kings Shamash-Resha-Usur and Ninurta-Kudurri-Usur. They loved their tiny nation and lived for its prosperity, building orchards, canals
OS 160 - Graham Hancock and the Philosophy of Archeology
Graham Hancock is a complicated man. On one hand, he is exposing a lot of people to some of the most cutting edge archeological investigations and open questions in history, and doing it in a way that is engaging, entertaining, and gets non-experts excited about the field. On the other hand, his methodology is fundamentally unsound, to the point that even if he is right in his thesis of an ancient
OS 159 - Slaves and Bronze in Iron Age Assyria
Reading 2800 year old slave documents, we learn a great deal about what concerned the people of Assyria on a day to day basis, at least the ones who lived in and around the major cities. From these documents we can see how the economy is changing, and how many parts of life are just as they have always been, for better or worse.
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OS 158 - The Glorious Magnates of Assyria
Today we talk about the governors Nergal-Erish and Mannu-ki-Mat-Assur as they play their part in building the Assyrian empire in a number of often unheralded and underappreciated ways. Then we look at important developments in Babylonia related to the Chaldeans and Itu'eans.
Mannu-ki-Mat-Assur's archives: https://oracc.museum.upenn.edu/atae?zoom=67&bkmk=P527340
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OS 157 - Women and Horses, the Constraints of Assyria
Today we blame the decline of Assyria on horses, and look at Adad-Nirari's desperation to get more of them. Also we see more of the historical Shammu-Ramat, the source of the Semiramis myth. There is also a brief discussion of the uncertain Messiah of 2 Kings 13.
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OS 156 - The Mythical Semiramis in Ancient History
The tale of Semiramis is one of those myths that everyone used to know, and many people used to take quite seriously. It is a tale from the Greek era which purports to tell the whole story of the great and ancient Babylonian and Assyrian empires, ultimately based on a now-lost set of legends that grew around the historical queen Shammu-ramat, wife and Queen of Shamshi-Adad V and mother of Adad-Nir
OS 155 - The Angry Puppet: Shamshi-Adad V
The angry and impotent king Shamshi-Adad would accomplish quite little during his reign of the Neo-Assyrian empire, but he would manage to completely annihilate the resurgent Babylonians and set them back a full century, while also marrying Shammu-Ramat, the inspiration for the mythical Semiramis, and allowing the Assyrian Empire to descend fully into the Age of the Magnates, or Assyrian Feudal Pe
OS 154 - Assyrian Civil War: Magnate Edition
The final years of Shalmaneser III's reign over the Neo-Assyrian Empire, was a pivotal period marked by civil war, political intrigue, and shifting power dynamics. As Shalmaneser aged and relied more on his top general, Dayan-Assur, did his appointment of his younger son, Shamshi-Adad, as successor trigger a bitter seven-year conflict (827–820 BCE) with his elder son, Assur-Danin-Apli? This poorly
OS 153 - Shalmaneser Delegates Authority
The latter half of Shalmaneser's reign is less celebrated, but no less important. We see major campaigns against Urartu, Que, and Parsua, but more importantly we see some of those campaigns led by an unexpected figure, Dayan-Assur. We are rapidly building up to the civil war that opens the Assyrian Feudal Era, with epic poetry, political dynamics, and lots and lots of hard to remember names!
If
OS 152 - The Smothered Spark of Babylon's Dark Age
Today we see the political aspect of Babylon during its dark age, focusing on the 10th to 9th centuries BCE. Highlights are reigns of kings like Nabu-Mukin-Apli, Nabu-Shuma-Ukin, and Nabu-Apla-Iddina, tracing the political fragmentation, famine, and external threats faced by the city. The episode also highlights Babylon's struggle against Aramean raids, the rise of new dynasties, and the city's co
OS 151 - The Glowing Embers of Babylon's Dark Age
Today we talk about why, exactly, Babylon was unique and look at how during this dark age they were still creating unique and interesting literary works. This gets pretty wide ranging, from defense to omen texts to political reform to the origins of the Chaldeans. The podcast has gone back to audio-only, the video side of things was taking too much away from the important parts of the show. Advice
OS 150 - The Battle of Qarqar
The lead-up to and significance of the first great battle of the iron age. Qarqar changed the equation for the Assyrian empire, which has until now been expanding without serious resistance. We will learn about the geopolitical significance of Damascus and Israel, watch the Assyrians struggle and grow as a result, and reach the peak of early Neo-Assyrian military achievement.
If you like the show
OS 149 - Shalmaneser Upends the Levant
Today we examine the situation in the Levant from the Bronze age Collapse to the entry of the Assyrians, and then follow Shalmaneser's levantine campaigns as they reshape the region through violence and indigenous reactions. We reach the end of Ahumu the Aramean's anti-Assyrian activities, and ponder some of the big questions of the series, like what motivates Shalmaneser and what happens
OS 148 - Shalmaneser Takes the Throne
A big transition of power as Shalmaneser peacefully takes the crown from his psychotic father, then immediately heads north for some war crimes. Big discussion today about how the Assyrian empire really works, what holds it together, and how Shalmaneser heralds a new phase in near eastern history. I even have a new background to mark the new era, for those watching on video.
Also, for those not o
OS 147 - From the River to the Sea
From the Tigris River to the Mediterranian Sea, Assurnasirpal completes the greatest campaign any Mesopotamian king has managed since the time of Sargon the Great, nearly 1500 years prior. Made possible through logistics, a firm grip on his Mesopotmaian heartland, and his own personal spark of genius, our psycho king turns up the charm to travel further than blade alone could allow, reshaping the
The Early History of Near Eastern Cavalry
Bonus episode today, a bit of a crossover with the bronze age stuff I am doing on Youtube about the video game Total War Pharaoh. Despite that, I think it will be of general enough interest to go on the podcast feed because the history of cavalry and the evolution and impact of the horse is keenly relevant here in the iron age, ironically more so than in the bronze age that the game is trying to s
OS 146 - How Assyria Operated
Today we look at the psychology and genius of Assurnasirpal and get a good look at both the strengths and weaknesses of the Assyrian terror-based governance strategy. A massive feast will be held, the Babylonians will be resurgent, and a massive uprising will threaten Assyrian invincibility.
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OS 145 - The Early Neo-Assyrian Army
Today we pause and look at the early Neo-Assyrian army itself, the arm of the empire that was doing all the conquering. It is an infantry focused force, but we also have some to say about the world's first cavalry forces, as well as the prestigious but declining chariot. Sprinkling in some of what we know about Assyrian military tactics, strategy and psychology, we can see that the success of
OS 144 - Call of Calhu
Calah, Nimrud, Kalhu - the new city of Assurnasirpal which will serve as imperial capital for the next century and a half has many names, but is built on a foundation of blood and plunder. We look at the city today, the grand buildings and mighty feasts held to inaugurate the new city, but our focus is on the death and slavery upon which it, like the empire, it would serve, is built upon. In the p
OS 143 - Assurnasirpal Has Too Much Energy
Is Assurnasirpal II, king of Assyria, a relentless narcicisstic psychopath? Or is he a profoundly competant, ruthless tyrant? Can he be both, and does it really matter? Today we begin the first set of great conquest narratives of the Assyrian empire, unrivalled in their detail and shock value by any previous Mesopotamian king. We are deep into the Royal Inscriptions today, with a look at his listi
OS 142 - The Assyrian Empire Takes Shape
King Tukulti-Ninurta II slows down the pace of conquest for a crucial decade. Conquest still happens, and at a breakneck pace, but compared to what we have seen and will see, it is much slower. More importantly, Tukulti-Ninurta spends a lot of his time focused on really establishing what has already been built, constructing more buildings, conducting diplomacy, building out the administration, and
OS 141 - The Unintended Aramization of Assyria
Today we see Adad-Nirari bring huge quantities of Arameans into the Assyrian empire. This will change the linguistic fabric of the entire near east in time, but as we will see, at the time it just seemed like a set of good decisions, or at least imperialistic decisions. We also discuss what it is to be an Assyrian, and why no one was overly concerned about the sort of ethnic conflicts that seem to
OS 140- The Dawning of a New Assyrian Empire
The king today is Adad-Nirari II, but we have a lot to discuss in the background as well. The Nairi get their spotlight right before they get destroyed, and we look at the dating system for the Neo-Assyrian period and why it is so reliable, compared to the earlier parts of ancient history. And we also ask what an Empire is and whether or not the Neo-Assyrian Empire counts as one, which it does. Ad
OS 139 - An Iron King for an Iron Age
Today we talk about iron working, economics and climate change. Then we watch Assur-Dan II flay his enemies alive and hang their skins from the city wall. The doldrums of the Bronze Age Collapse are now officially over and a new age is rising - an age of iron and an age of empire. The most exciting and historically important period of Mesopotamian history begins now. Also, check out the spin off c
OS 138 - Erra and Ishum Threaten Destruction
Most of our modern end of the world literature is set in the future, but the Babylonians, in the midst of a dark age, set their end of the world literature right in their own times, since for them it may have seemed like the world itself was ending. Erra, also called Nergal, wants to destroy a bunch of stuff because that is his nature. He tries protecting the universe, but gets frustrated with tha
OS 137 - The Oldest Dreams
Do dreams count as literature, are the dream records we have an accurate depiction of ancient dreams, and does reading a dream account from a man 3000 years dead give us any insight into his state of mind? Today, we read through a bunch of dreams, read about dreams, and just generally ponder some of this stuff.
I have books! About Ancient Mesopotamia! And more on the way! Check them out here!
OS 136 - The Fifty Shades of Marduk
The thrilling conclusion of the Enuma Elish is an extended hagiographical top-50 list extolling the virtues of Babylon's patron god. As we are now well into the period where Marduk is unquestionably supreme within Babylon's walls, it is high time that we focused out attention a bit more on just who this Marduk fellow truly is. We look at the context of the naming, the fact that by some cou
OS 135 - Middle Class Demons of Mesopotamia
Today we look at Pazuzu, Lamashtu, Samanu, Mushussu, and Lamassu. These are not the great gods of myth, nor are they the personal gods that would have absorbed the majority of the average Mesopotamian's attention and worship. They exist somewhere in the middle, in the realm of magic, of diseases, of charms, and of the middle spirit realms. This means there isn't a good place to talk about
OS 134 - Poverty, Pessimism, and Comedy in Ancient Mesopotamia
Today we read through the Dialogue of Pessimism and the Poor Man of Nippur. Both are comedies with a bit of edge to them, though in very different formats, showing the richness of ancient literature. Dialogue of Pessimism is basically a two-man standup routine, with a fair amount of philosophical ideas thrown in as part of the comedy. Poor Man of Nippur is a farce mixed with a revenge tale, ground
The Theology Within History
Today we overview the historical portions of the bible and look at the fallibility of heroes, resolving moral conflicts with God, and the historical problems with strict literalism. I have gotten specific questions on these three topics over the course of the series, but rather than answering the specific questions, I thought it would be more useful and interesting to consider the underlying issue
Isaiah 55
Christmas Special! We are reading Isaiah chapter 55, a pretty short one, partly because it is nice, and partly because it illustrates the theological maturity present very early in Jewish history. Also, if you got any money for Christmas, you should spend it on the Oldest Stories book: https://a.co/d/3CzuRQQ
The Witness of Lamentations
Today we read through the five poems of Jeremiah's Lamentations over the destruction of Jerusalem. We look in particular at the historical context and the humanness of this 2600 year old performance, but also at some of the theological innovations that, already at the start of the Babylonian exile, are marking the exilic Jews out as a faith distinct from their neighbors and unique in the world
The Book of Job in a Near Eastern Context
Today we go on a wide ranging survey of the Near Eastern predecessors to the Book of Job, including the biblical books that also speak to the same themes, before looking through the Book of Job to see a fairly unique answer to the question of why do good things happen to bad people.
The first Oldest Stories book, covering Sumer and Akkad, is available for purchase: https://a.co/d/64mxp6w
OS 133 - Jerusalem Falls
Today we ask the question - Who put the "Deuteronomic" in the Deuteronomistic Histories? Plus thousands of people die, so all in all a pretty jam packed episode. Our focus is King Josiah, about whom much ink has been spilled, and after him we will briefly look around at the emerging Babylonian Empire, then quickly destroy Jerusalem to finally round out our extended look at biblical histo
OS 132 - Judah Ascends
Israel has been destroyed by the Assyrians, and Judah very nearly follows. But Jerusalem never does fall to the Assyrians, and the re-emergence of the southern kingdom is almost as shocking as the internal discord that accompanies it. We look today a lot of prophets and religious policies alongside military issues, because these do seem to be driving politics and polarized factionalism in a big wa
OS 131 - Israel's Brutal Judgement
The first Oldest Stories Book is available for purchase: https://a.co/d/64mxp6w
Today, we go in depth with what it might have been like as the Assyrians invaded, first Israel and then Judah, looking deeply at the battle of Lachish. Today's is a tale of hard times and despair, though today is more the despair at what is coming, and next time will be more the despair at what has passed. Of cours
Oldest Stories is now a Book!
Celebrating 1 million downloads and my birthday, the first Oldest Stories book releases on November 24th, 2023. Pre-order is available only for the digital editions, you will need to wait until the release date for a physical copy, but definitely at least think about it. I am very excited.
Amazon link: https://a.co/d/hKmiIrY
OS 130 - Israel Runs Out of Names
Today we are in a mad gallop through decades and kings, each of them having pretty short, one or two episode lives, and also mostly having the same or extremely similar names to get everything super confused. This part of Israelite history moves pretty quickly, but there are a lot of interesting things that can be pulled from relatively short mentions, plus we get the first and only artistic depic
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