Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak
An ongoing conversation about wellness from two obsessive friends, Jacqueline Novak and Kate Berlant. They have been inviting eavesdroppers into their conversations since 2020, and now their award-winning podcast returns. New episodes every Tuesday.
Episodes
REMIX: The Law Offices of Berlant & Novak Pt. 1
Emails were drafted, calls were made, and a law office was opened. This week the hags bring you a remix chock full of some of their favourite moments featuring grievances, injustices and scams. You pay for the lock… a nut should never have entered the home… I’ll see you in court. Welcome to the Law Offices of Berlant and Novak.
A Zero Involved (RE-RELEASE)
This week the hags are away and bringing you a favorite from the Poog archive: A Zero Involved.A masseuse in Kate’s home reminds her of the necessity of addressing the angels and eating pears. New blocks are located, while Jacqueline scrambles pancakes. What else does one put in a dishwasher? Phone call avoidance and the myths of protein. The hours you’re asleep still count, but where doe
Hypochondriac’s Riddle
Poog is at the doctor’s office this week, as Kate visualizes her partner and mother for safety during a neck angio CT scan. Jacqueline is at the hotel she never has to check out of — her parents’ house. The idea of a single tit when the robe opens. Is the valet not fundamentally validated? The stench of B vitamins, the presence of a mini fridge, and a drink likely pulled from a barrel. Ka
There’s Always a Way
Are you aware that your site is down? Jacqueline calls in from her Toronto tour stop and the meds are running out, while Kate is podcasting from the neighborhood fishbowl. Eating in front of the TV, coffee tables and cold cream. The hags map out a year in Spain... but has it been Canada the whole time? Always a buyer, never a seller. Jacqueline explains how to wash underwear in a Nespress
The Myth of the Heckler
The nectarines were not ripe, nor were the figs sweet. Recent weeks have seen the hags confronted with uncharmable doctors and unruly hecklers. Jacqueline recounts stories from her day job at the FBI and Kate’s full-body scan results are in. Illness, the corner restaurant and a double date to The Odyssey. Sometimes the doctor agrees with your diagnosis.
REMIX: Poog 101 Part Two
This week on Poog, we're bringing you another round of the hags' most formative moments: Jacqueline teaches Kate the Pallbearer Shuffle. The uppermost Pringle is considered. Shopping in Target before a cameo on Bonks That Kill. A technique for social media moderation is proposed. Jacqueline sings a little ditty about Jack and Diane, while Kate’s LAX uber gets stolen by a Brody Jenner look
REMIX: Poog 101
This week on Poog, we're bringing you a collection of some of the hags' most formative moments: Mornings could be huge. It was mushrooms the whole time. Movie theatre epiphanies and medical-grade ugliness. Lying about Juilliard and being a young prodigy.
Preparation Killed
The Habit covers everything but the face. Jacqueline reflects on the self-authority lockdowns produced, while Kate revisits the birthplace of Poog. A honey and milk scrub conjures fears of dissection. Awards for ghost kitchens through the lens of fertility and zits in a line. Jacqueline shares the results of a skin check. Placebo works, folks! Drawing the blinds and doing incantations ove
REMIX: Kate's Lies
I work nights! This week on Poog, we're bringing you our favorite moments when Kate just...made things up. Whether to avoid a friend, defuse a fight, or to just have some fun — Kate's getting creative with the truth and Jacqueline's analyzing why she can't get enough of it.
Pause for Blueberries
Entering the stage in character. This week, hags are dropped in as Kate walks and Jacqueline cooks. Both hotel rudeness and home deliveries abound. Tofu strategies and the origins of Dimes Square. Jacqueline pinpoints the tough thing about all products and services, though foot nor shoe should sticky laminate meet. Kate spots husband-wife hags and five-broom rankings are doled out to som
The Courage to Unpack
Nerves cringe, fear wells up inside and doubt floods the way. A man arrives at Kate’s door and Jacqueline delivers a monologue. Unearthing the long lost comedy club cheque and dirty underwear — the hags are already convinced the saffron is working. Youtube is up on Kate’s TV, while Jacqueline is turning her’s off. Reading aloud on the ADD balance board, tea has always been the a
It’s Just a Guy in His Car
This week, Jacqueline’s on eastern time while Kate holds it down in pacific. The kind of pain others can see and ceaseless reinvention. When the computer takes the long way home and the case for stealing at the airport. Barfing in Denver, intuitive booking and full-body scans. A hard brush the morning before the dentist... when sickness hits. The Yogurt Shop Murders and harrowing Uber rid
Two Jackalopes
Frozen Poog is served. Mr. Novak has entered the group chat and fears of lyme disease resurface. Jacqueline explains the celebrity kook, while Kate takes the long walk home that heals. Naming the competitor and the Erewhon of New York. Playing the free thing off as a special treat... own up, folks. Kate won’t be shamed for eating fast and Jacqueline takes the new subway. The International
Fear of the Reformer
It’s robe dinner, and the hags are thinking live. Kate channels the rage of knocking furniture during a home workout, while Jacqueline dissects “cramps”. Should we all be on peptides? When a waiter re-serves your leftovers and memories of living at Sea. Typing out each other’s addresses. Couples Therapy, Taxicab Confessions and a new savior. Overvaluing the smooth canvas. Kate may be gett
Eat the Apple that Falls
Blowing back our cheeks and headed for the farm. It’s time to learn how to survive. Kate is alive in her army jacket, while Jacqueline reminisces about her barn coat. Paging Dr. Me. The kabocha pushes back and the fear of bad arugula. What color is Jacqueline’s hair? A salad bar in the fridge and a harness on Boo's back. The possibility of abduction brings uncertainty, but it’s the reinte
Pronouncing the Interior
Lost in the curtain and looking up rugs. This week, a manifested paediatrician, the willingness to sing, and a foretold pilgrimage. Kate shares her true feelings about choreography, while Jacqueline engages in extreme massaging of the neck. Self-containment and ghosting the ghost tour. If that’s not Gaia, what is? An update on Kate's nightstands and Jacqueline’s scrolling relationship. Bl
Nightstand Revolution
The revolution will be nightstand. Kate's long-awaited allergy test comes back and Jacqueline sifts through the confounding results. Mismatched woods or matching? Grohl Bowls and a minimum age for doctors. A thorough investigation of nightstands and the appropriate price to pay for them. Facebook Marketplace and a reduction in narrative are prescribed. Kate lists all that lies beside her
More Connected Than Ever
It’s the first episode since reclamation. Poog is back, this time as an independent podcast. The spirit of sovereignty finds Jacqueline and Kate levitating in the studio, face to face. It’s sacred phones only, it’s gm lowercase only. Jacqueline finds herself all bags, no drink in hand, and 5 hotels deep. On New York time, Kate did the unthinkable. A transatlantic state of focus, old nudes
Act Outs
It’s almost eerie what you can act yourself into. Jacqueline is sourcing Christmas for comfort and Kate is experimenting with corkage fees. An update on the cruel barista drives Kate and Jacqueline to revisit role-play, as eavesdroppers weigh in. A 4pm ‘Matcha & Myss’ is considered and the healing archetype of Larry David is called upon. Avoidance drives Kate to act out purchasing a p
Berlant & Novak Remix: ADHD Culture
What am I bringing back out of the trash? Jacqueline frees Kate from ADHD paralysis, as countless hacks are shared. A hamper in every room! Running down the clock and days spent in parking lots. A leaning tower of pants and folding within reason. Revisiting Kate’s ‘bad phone’ — or ‘correspondence’ — system. DIY desk-making has always been huge for Jacqueline. Chugging water with a hand up
Paris Again
This week, we’re taking free feeders behind the paywall, and over to Paris. Jacqueline and Kate found themselves in the city of love at the same time, last spring… and it was incredible. This episode was heard first by our Premium Subscribers, as part of the monthly bonus recordings Kate and Jacqueline record for them. If you want to get monthly bonus episodes along with other perks, head
Soot Happens
In this special recording from the Berlant & Novak vault, Kate suffers chimney sweep-induced TMJ flare. What to do when the line goes dead and the mailbox is full? It’s a dirty job. A jaw dislodged and the practice of refunding, examined. Free soot-foot photos, a corner cobweb, and a rage that shakes. Cleaner Gary didn’t lie: soot is the most difficult thing to get out. Jacqueline’s v
Berlant & Novak Remix: Call the Front Desk
Is it a three or four-broom hotel? Memories of Kate’s first Ritz and the dread of lobby coffee. Hags are always welcome at Jacqueline's Copper Inn. Is that a BJ stain on the performance velvet couch? A tough Ludlow and what to do when the cleaner walks in on you naked. Kate makes a call to the front desk after a disturbing night in Bend, Oregon… He’s God fearin’.
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Berlant & Novak Remix: When We Were Girls
Mister Cabbage, it’s me. Jacqueline’s honest answer elicits laughter from a school psychologist & an attic tutor rewards Kate with candy. Childhood photos and the formative experience of shopping with a peer. Student council and film club. Framing a child? When Jacqueline was a candle maker and Kate went to The Price Is Right. The 13-year-old period fear that still lingers, and the li
Regardless, It’s Bad
Let’s start with the goal, right? Eclipse season looms large, as Kate and Jacqueline meet eyes under the studio lights. A search for meaning around some light symptoms inspires a Novak analysis. Caroline Myss graces Hag ears as Jacqueline bemoans Kate not submitting to this recommendation earlier. The ego wants to call even when there is no question. Male healers are remembered for their
O'Doul's and Diet Coke
It’s never personal, except for when it is. In studio this week, where Jacqueline’s headache is quelled with Kate’s purse pills. At hag homes, small rooms get big beds. Kate’s ass is on a pillow and her legs are against the wall. Hags must beware a tight neck. When the barista harbors a personal grudge and top hats stay hidden. Complementary schismogenesis means the martini tastes better
Silent, Internal, and Painful
Glory when someone submits to your recommendation. Jacqueline and Kate revisit the hardest acting challenge: surprise. The Hags’ second ever guest breaks in unexpectedly much like a tiger into a church, and childhood memories of vomit re-examined. Jacqueline was cabinet maker before she was ever a standup comedian. And Uncle Fester meant more than you know to Kate. Sometimes the art is to
Probably the Ugliest Woman
Kate and Jacqueline analyze what made a man on Twitter say such a nasty thing. The hags reflect on the indecency of Pop Crave and the courage it takes to feel ugly next to beautiful women. Jacqueline recounts interactions with trolls and Kate considers starting a Serial-esque podcast to get closure. Some of these men have dogs — daughters, even. Ultimately, this is the abstraction of viol
Defending Your Frogs
Standing by with joy in their hearts, a mosquito enters the frame. At the beach, Jacqueline and Kate expanded their fields before a setting sun. Reckoning with pendulums, the hags consider the one-song party, the subjectivity formation of teen shopping, and the dangerous effects of music. A cat in the home means new patent possibilities from Jacqueline. Condoms for your ear, analog visor
Souls and Goals and Roles
A theme of unconscious irritation suggests the podcast is entering its red period with Idiopathic Rosacea and Iatrogenic Eustachian Tube Dysfunction as the new hosts. Kate texts her doctor throughout the episode. Jacqueline’s secret merchandizing history reveals she’d rather be in Quadrant 2. One must live with some altitudinous awareness. Mel Brooks, Teresa of Avila, Caroline Myss, and D
Wretched Valley Beauty Closet Cleanout
Kate had a disgusting chicory latte, her back bumper is fucked, and she is in a horrible mood. Jacqueline, buoyed by the bounty of her tech gears smells a classic episode brewing. A live product inventory unfolds and Kate’s mood lends itself to merciless clutter purging. None of us should take her mood personally. Repurposing old iphones, a turtle conservatory, and a highly scented serum
Professional Sleeper
The hags are back on seasonally appropriate fixations, gifting the eavesdroppers a real ear-load. Springform pans, relinquished and reacquired. Whisperings of a tart, darting and diagonaling in the market. A mother wakes in the night to witness a cake’s density. The cornerstone is the cornerstone. Cord inventory, face-first casting, a shoe garage. What is it to monger?
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Don't Touch the Earth
At the dawn of the new year, Christmas needs unpacking. Jacqueline's voice breaks in elf mode and Kate secures a coveted table. Armed with two pens and a watercolor set, ritual pulls them in. Boo the Cat announces himself and the tiger breaks in, starving for a moment. A storage unit gets unlocked as liquid code unfolds. A rare sighting of a bride at ease. Never so far from Paris as the
A Toast to Hags at Midnight EST! With Aura Cleanse.
Jacqueline Novak and Kate Berlant celebrate the arrival of 2026 with a heartfelt toast to their hag listeners. A somatic release, an aura cleanse, and a margarita. Wish all hags a Happy New Year on instagram and tag @poogpodcast. What a year it was. Thank you for being hags. It's just the beginning!
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LED Meltdown
As the New Year draws close, the veil is thin. Lost in parking structures, falling to pieces in Lowes, an unusual approach to calling on a handyman almost doesn't work. King sized bed frames forthcoming, questions of nightstands appear. To resent, to resist, to long for clean Gwyneth-mother-hands. Christmas happened. The hags read aloud an intimate and high stakes text thread. When Kate i
Adult Children of Christmas
Yuletide is upon us and the hags are patently giddy. Jacqueline self-imposes limits in pursuit of a floor lamp while Kate fixates on a door protector for her wreath. A lighting specialist cold calls after hours and a candy cane’s glow keeps the neighbors awake. A scream, transmuted into jingle bells. When an artist produces Christmas for an only child. Chocolate bone broth, cake by the ha
An Xmas Treat: 'Twas The Night Before Christmas
Get cozy for Kate and Jacqueline’s cold (and wintry) reading of “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.” aka “A Visit from St. Nicholas.” Lock this in like peppermint, because it a likely to be a most merry new hag tradition.And don’t miss this year’s extra special premium holiday drop. A Christmas Miracle: 2024 Live at Hollywood Forever (Show #2, never released in any form!) in full video glo
Sleep is Surgery
The hags emerge from Thanksgiving, bubbling over with conversations to be had. Kate enjoys the non-hierarchical airline while Jacqueline holds onto the menu at an airport lounge. A company covering your ass is a friend for life. The preferred form of satire? Absolute realism. An unlabeled jar, unmistakably daughter-made. A lifetime of preemptively bracing for every possible misinterpretat
The Judgment of a Child
It’s top of the mornin’ Poog as the hags encourage eavesdropping at dawn. Jacqueline’s honest answer elicits laughter from a school psychologist. An attic tutor rewards Kate with candy. Cutting out the stain as the only elegant solution. The impossibility of appointments, referrals kept in a clock tower. Blue-blockers secured thanks to a strong relationship with a local optometrist. Mom a
Pig to Poog Slaughter
It’s nearing the holidays as the hags absentmindedly podcast. Jacqueline champions the versatility of the couch while Kate confronts her fear of the quick-pickle. The will to leave, moved only by appointment. Healing the brain through the nose. Sunset in the eyes, pasta at room temp, and the elegant simplicity of one jean per hook. Illicitly floating a percussive massager across the masse
Stepmom Fall
It’s autumn in Los Angeles and this one’s a real eavesdropper’s delight. Pepper-plumped lips and french vanilla at the gas station. A dream of tandem haircuts where chopped tresses are swept into a single dustpan. Stripped of association, is the long nail attractive? Jacqueline enjoys a ride down a sales funnel. Kate greets a dog and suffers the consequences. A cruel observation about jew
Altitudinous Privacy
The hags are back, lying prone in mild Trendelenburg. Jacqueline tests competing wearable devices at once. Kate forces community at The Grove, where leopard abounds. Hens clucking about chair structure? It’s the music of the every day. The hope of a whisper campaign, trusting the ears to guide. Two couples, four Oaxaca bowls. A vat of rosewater, King of the locker room, and extreme temper
A Moving Banana
It’s Headache Poog for the hags as the Advil promise rides again. Jacqueline packs density on half-caff while Kate activates her symptom radar. They discuss the hatred of live wood, unsafely sexualizing the bedpost, and life at The Towers. The etiquette of approaching a seated celebrity with your compliment is to accept the role of trash. A tragic game of “Guess What’s in My Mug?” Rubber
From Jacqueline re: Today's the Last Chance for Lifetime Lock-in
Hello folks. Just Jacqueline, I don't know if you can hear the sound of my Chi Vitalizer Pro Swing, um, or the, uh, top, top tap of my, my coffee, uh, but I'm here to tell you free feeders that this is your reminder. Okay? Today's the last day to do the big anniversary sale to go premium and not just go premium, but, but, but go Dear Friend Tier at $8 a month, when, as you know, normally
Morning Nose
It’s raining in LA—a snow day—and the hags are back to Morning Poog. Jacqueline channels a football coach while Kate recovers from an animal in the floor. They delight at the emerging seasonal offerings, if only for the sake of marking time. A poet shares an affiliate code. More than ordered arrives in a package. The unconscious massage of the sternocleidomastoid. A scheduling bonanza, th
The Haunted Car Wash
Halloween nears and the hags are back in the studio. Jacqueline discusses up lighting, Kate fears for the movie she hasn’t yet seen. Spontaneous toning in the home, boldly tearing off the vinyl. A discovery that London might withhold liquids from artists. Broth sidecar. Red light rotisserie. Send back what’s not yours, gently and lovingly to the source.
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A 4-Minute Phone Call + a Special Lifetime Offer
A phone call from today to celebrate 1-year anniversary of going indie. The hags hopped on a zoom on-the-go for a spontaneous minisode with a red hot promo. An upgrade offer is now LIVE thru NOV 5 for a LIFETIME DEAR FRIEND MEMBERSHIP for 20% off…so for about 8 dollars a month, you’ll can lock in the $10/month therefor life. Finally enjoy the monthly bonus episode, product corner, and a
**Water Flows Where Water Goes**
The hags are back in the studio. Kate’s been on symptom watch and Jacqueline's been convex in a red light bed. A jaw pops from the revelation that Christmas is not far. Unless you open your termini your facial massage cannot de-puff. A generator hides behind camouflage that announces it and the smell of chlorine doesn’t automatically mean you’re in a Four Brooms venue. The hags reconsider
HARDLY RF LOLOL
It’s basically the beauty sandwich. Taking a break from mainlining electrolytes. On second thought, no Mayo Clinic sweatshirt. Ice-ass cold. A Filofax youth. The pharmacy’s aluminum garage. Buying spiritual in a used book store. An incantation of safety to the self. A year of no hats. Throwing around the word proprietary. FMC.
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The Poshmark Murders
You cannot fill the hole until you drill the hole. It doesn’t have to be unreal to be life-changing. Suckered by the protein algorithm into another cottage cheese recipe. An ADD-only island to thrive among likeminded. An altar with a sense of humor, aiming to impress. The failed promise of the giant chessboard. The first marg lays down a red carpet for the second. Rumor or research? I’ll
Go Buy a Smile
Crank up the tunes during turbulence. The right to narrative continuity. The AmEx lounge—a glimmer in the desert. Two jousters with veiled competitive jovial hostility. Ordering hungry, paddling feet in ecstacy upon arrival. Fear observed, performing the self for others. Allergen extravaganza of opacity. As always, all information is sacred and interesting. Depersonalized service.
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Animatronics Are Back
Pulling one away from the group. The manipulation of the sleep state. A shameful u-turn. Don’t stack hell with a good thing. Dressing made from rind. Divine meal, top to bottom. Morning baths. Egg whites in a carton. Goodbye phone, hello book of symbols. Notes of autumn haunting. Oil cleanser—real for everyone.
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He's God Fearin'
Motion light at ankle height gives way to a paranormal event. Praying for morning, staring at the doorway to the darkness of the woods. Deviant spiritual art on the internet. Masculinity that’s not afraid. Another river, energy flows across them. Spirits love to drain batteries, so we tie the velvet bag a little tighter.Producer: Annie BernsteinEditor: Kati SkeltonMusic: Naomi McPherson
Anything Can Lead to Anything
Reaching for archetypal energies. Marinating green beans village-style. Neighborhood bakers. Staring into the eye of the fig—frozen, dried, sweetened. Unhinged solutions, no more nesting bowls. A warm metallic packet. You doubt me, but you love me in the night. Christmas is en route.
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The Reward is Transcendence
***In celebration of the re-release of the Lychee Martini gummies from Rose Delights, we're putting out a never-before-heard episode, recorded at Jar a year ago.***What is the origin of the flask? Candied garlic on the fries. Imagine receiving sambuca with two beans. The dog doesn’t live for you. Channeling the confidence of the red onion. Gotta hydrate, in theory. Building—any hauntings?
Mansion Cheese
Doctoring a clock. Every day is an inside joke. What good is a dead HiZoo? Sexless UV hats. Deva Curl’s hand sucking eroticism out of the head. Sturm caved, you’re next. Rerouting the smock to a safe center.Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/HAGS! #honeylovepodDownload Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/who45ewg and use code THATSMONEY10 #CashAppPod As a Cash App pa
Thick with Fairies
Walking around like a mouthguard cooling into position. Prostrating before nature, bulking the facial muscles, and making money in the rock climbing position. There’s no WiFi in the Scottish caves. A crazy amount of ice, clanging against itself. Endlessly reproducing the past—the spectacle of continuation.One Skin: For a limited time, you can try OneSkin with 15% off using code HAGS at on
Never Require Continuity
Grumpy on a plane, the wheels retract like a stuck garage. Something off at the front desk and scared of an upgrade. The foot de-gloved. Over-ordering in a new town. Take the comforts where and when you can. Rediagnosed by every book. The airport lounge at capacity. Overnight flight, no lodging when you hit the ground. Saved by new brows.Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at Qu
Let Her Rest
The only thing worse than a bad show is a good show. The facts are the facts. The king leaves less floor room. Incoming hotel room calls. Ceremonial piss. Moved by soft technology. Attractive words. Contact stress. Watch the little lady go by. Medieval beans. Hoping for miracles day-of. Third eye pinned open by Insta. Danger, danger, danger. Kate tricks the algorithm with her perverse cur
The Ontology of the Birthday
Midnight birthday wish and the somber passage into a new day. Ojai as a Spiritual Vortex where an absence of Airbnbs proves relevant to transcendence. A light champagne pour, to sing for another table, a new blush. Kate discovers the 'Instapot:' wonders, cackling in the frozen vegetable aisle. The writer's booth at the local bar for Jacqueline, the mysterious regular. Digging deeper on
Soy Sisters
Journal around the neck. Two wet lips on the cheeks. God, Coca-Cola, Titanic, Titan Submersible. Thrown from a desk twice. Two seconds of terror. Mangled loosely in the chair. Rivers of time. Manifesting the past. Dodging embarrassment, into the riptide. Constant fear of the light-colored sofa.Oneskin: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code HAGS at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpodQuince: G
Something Horse-Related
The glory of a thin book. A wild outsider. The cruelty to our mothers. Cryptic texting. Ironic consumption of dinosaurs. When I need you, you provide nothing? By the way, here they come. Chocolate soup. Turn the bowl upside-down. Where is Souen West? The nap that comes from reading. Looking for hostility. 99 out of 100 people don’t win the raffle. Getting the works.
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You’re Pixelated as Usual
Careful you don’t get Max’d. Jumping on the ground to achieve a euphoric state. Tap, Tap, Tapping on the bones for strength. The sugar of the crowd, blood on the cave wall, and a spiritual logic. New client specials rock and they work. A meme enjoyed, supine as Clive Owen breaks through. Needless to Say, I Booked Elsewhere.Cozy Days Discount: Up to 45% off with code HAGS from July 11-13,
Aspirationally Rude
The conduit burps continuously. Raising the liver. Feet tied at the bottom like a little bow. Lunch is an utter derailment. Hurting the hand while trying to move at the speed of one’s thinking. Huge eye roll to the camera in the corner. Passage of time strikes right in the heart. Another one about sex and boys? Mister Cabbage, it’s me. A woven placemat, a frame under the plate. LYMA Laser
The Copper Inn
Gonzo journalism. One sprig of parsley on every plane meal. Panic clouding the mind. The smell of the subway. Manifesting the illness, manifesting the solution. Hubris and negligence. A high self-diagnosis moment, proudly bearing pit stains. Take the online quiz and introduce Ollie to your pet. Visit https://ollie.com/HAGS today for 60% off your first box of meals! #ToKnowThemIsToLoveThem
Lie to Me, Baby
Scrolling during sex. The novelty of rice and pasta in a drawer. The four-hour facial. Old writerly Novak reemerges. Tits or gossip for a mere fifty bucks. Maintaining mood across centuries. A bespoke app. Praying for more. Unwashed throws. ritual.com/HAGSLuxury shouldn't be out of reach. Go to cozyearth.com/HAGS for up to 40% off Cozy Earth’s best-selling temperature-regulating sheets, a
High Stakes Masculine
Is this thing on? Sifting through comments. How to make a dog from white rice. Eyes on the road, for once. Anxiety dissolves into freedom. Fun to buy or fun to own? Clear-headed about the paranormal. The allure of people and their workflows. Appealing sounds at The Garden. Infant jest. Ollie Dog Food: Take the online quiz and introduce Ollie to your pet. Visit https://ollie.com/HAGS today
AI Betrayed Me
Our ancestors stood on rocks. Who wants to be our guinea pig? Forgetting within minutes about owning it.Food as a palliative. Fantasies about mechanical automation. Wildly signing up for services seeking pure objective truth. A call down for a Nespresso machine. Aesthetic for cheap. Loretta Lynn suite.
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A Pat and a Spat
Button up, button down. The one traveling woman in the world. Is warrior the hardest pose? Submit to waiting. The name is a word. Kate gets on better terms with London food. Unfiltered Roman amaro. Brought to tears by good copywriting. That’s a star, who is that? The cough of a child. Duckbill: Reclaim your time at getduckbill.com, and get 50% off your first 2 months with the code HAGSOll
My Stubborn Spirit
The first cup of coffee is a doorway. Illegal tomato gallery in the fridge. Take the safety rails off the fidget spinner. Abandonment of the future self. There's no such thing as a dread-free artist. Get off the cross—we need the wood. Nursing Ascentia. So and so got up on the skis today for their first time. Cover the penalties later. Completely detach getting up from meaning. The Ecstat
A New God Every Two Years
The hippocampus 'delible after all? When there is no hack, just get it from the beet. A glorious return policy, shadows on the face, and melting suede coat. Another appointment booked. Accessing hyperfixation, raising horses on organic feed for the makeup brushes. KB in the fast lane, hands at 12 and 3. Kate’s Damn Tea. JN writing in Hudson. Six nights in a row at the same restaurant. D
A Peaceful Genius
JN’s back in the states but still living out of her European suitcase. Kate’s new cocktail. A spiritual vapor, a bruised martini, a lemon tryst, and an evening prayer. Dilution is key after JN spends time with a cookbook. Voicing your greatest fears in the Apple store. Is it really ever the jeans that you’re hoping for? We’re getting the fish. A warm Celsius. The Merrel effect. You shou
As Always Perfect
Maintenance—it's not for all of us. The shock of girls being so messy. Can a nut milk ever be creamy? Kate's sudden interest in whole milk. The shape of the word despair. Intentionality visible in a hairstyle. We welcome all questions about the moon. Chips kept hot in a porcelain bowl over a flame. Beet red from anger or humiliation? Tap, tap, tap—making choices. Our commitment to dramati
Merch That Matters
Both hags are stateside. Jacqueline comes at you from her childhood home. Kate shares her neurologist’s three pieces of parting advice. Something’s special is happening in a jar of non-organic Almond butter. A favorite barrier gel cream, smaller microphones, and weeping in JFK. In Act 4’s Product Corner (premium subscriptions only) Kate’s new preferred electrolyte is revealed and Jacqueli
Ask Me Why I Know
Jacqueline has made it "home" to her preferred London rental after a harrowing journey through Ireland and Amsterdam*. Kate has left London where she saw the second ghost of her life and sawed through a grisly steak at a beloved restaurant. Which do you fear more? Oversalted or undersalted. Negotiating the greek drama of which hag was spared a cold or fated to have one. Bemoaning the phon
I Work Days
The hags are in Europe. Jacqueline joins from a hotel room in Dublin, sick with a cold, praying to angels. Kate joins from London where in a state of suspension, she lives out of one suitcase and between two rooms. Bless the body when it does its job. Rumor is drain the necks. Decision-induced euphoria. Morsels of freedom. ‘Scuse me, ‘scuse me, I've got a show’ mode. An idea: institute dr
Massive Buccal Overload
With the "States" forgotten, Jacqueline and Kate are both in London, dealing with restaurant "bookings." An animal darts past Jacqueline explaining the screeches from the night before. Kate's suffering - broken headphones - needs to be witnessed by three. Competitive airplane seat wipe down. One-shot television. Name-brand meds hidden in a teddy bear. Two Y2K cameras found at Portobello
Precious Cargo
Jacqueline gets a fly fisherman’s vest to avoid crossing rooms while Kate diligently prepares for travel. The morning shed trend and how to use an hour? Two pomodoros or (10 +2)5. Kate asserts her place in line and immediately regrets it. Swallowed by a whale, you remain inside life. The daily reminder that it’s darkest before dawn. Adopting a mother and son cat duo. A cat called Yardwork
Tryptophan: The Pride of the 90s
Kate texts Jacqueline whenever she drinks Celsius because it's that rare. Topical magnesium so special it’s kept in the back of Erewhon. To start a rumor you were cut out of The Brutalist. When Rocket Money points out you’re paying them monthly. Accepting your cold is the only way it lifts. A spaghetti squash is forever. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with
Three Baths A Day
Jacqueline overhears two energy healers talking shit about a third. Ego versus essence. Not everyone spends their time in the aisles of self-help. Admiring angry. A decorative rug in the bathroom versus an absorbent stone. When ginger chews took a town by storm. Milkshake on a long car ride. Kate needs a burger twice a month. Burning $500 in the woods is an active sacrifice. Is hot sauce
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