
Absolutely Not
Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe space for listeners to tell-all and complain about everyday struggles. No topics are off-limits as she breaks down the challenges of doing too much and too little at the same time. The podcast features humor, authentic discussions, and a hotline for life complaints. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.
Episodes

Forecast: Hot Takes!
On this episode, Heather is on a tear after some heated meetings as well as cancelled flights. While she had to miss the World Cup due to her own flight being canceled, she is here to teach everyone about flight etiquette. She chats about critics of The Odyssey, Lindsey Graham’s ladybugs, and how Jeff is turning off every light now that they are homeowners. Heather takes

Throwback: No Snackin’ in the Back
On this replay episode from November 2, 2022 Heather is back from taping her first special, Son I Never Had, in Lexington, Kentucky. She is full of gratitude as well as adrenaline after filming. Son I Never Had is now available to stream on Hulu and to watch for free on Youtube! Episode Sponsors:Head to TryFirstleaf.com/absolutely to sign up and you'll get fifty percent off yo

Pitbull & Miss Worldwide
On this episode, Heather is back from one of the most insane weekends of her life. Manifested so hard that she ended up in Hyde Park with Pitbull breaking a world record for most bald caps! She chats about how emotional it was to see the Bald-es as well as meeting Armando. She also details the rest of the weekend in London from Wimbledon to Kesha. Be sure to watch Youtube for an exc

Heavy Flow in Portofino
On this episode, Heather is back from Europe and shares the highs, lows, and heavy flows of her anniversary vacation including the story of finally securing The Bag in Paris. She explains why sometimes you just have to do it for the plot and how a decade of dressing as Pitbull led to a surreal full-circle moment.Episode Sponsors:Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/abso

Memories with James Abrahart
On this episode, Heather is in LA and brings one of her oldest friends from childhood, James Abrahart to the pod. JHart is an award winning music producer, singer and reality star. Their lore starts in James’ parents basement where they used to create rap albums and eat way too many Pubsubs. They chat about their wild childhood neighbors of Whitney Houston and T-Boz, as well as them

Replay: No Passport, No Problem
On this replay episode from June 15, 2022 she is getting ready for her wedding in Italy, and fast forward to 2026 her and Jeff are on their way to Florence for their anniversary. You’ll hear Heather have a mental breakdown from the complete shitshow that has been her wedding prep. You’ll see that she has turned into one of THOSE brides and is ready to tell everyone to fuck off all wh

American Tourist
On this episode, Heather is coming to you all live from a fabulous hotel in Florence, Italy where she and Jeff are celebrating their wedding anniversary. She starts off the pod chatting about her big move without one very important person- Robin. Heather chats about how Off Campus has changed her brain chemistry. She brings us up to speed about her first days of travel to Italy and

Di-ancé with Rosebud Baker
On this episode, Heather welcomes Rosebud Baker back to the podcast. Rosebud has been busy since the last cruise. She now has a 2 year old daughter, is getting divorced and even had time to write a book! Fully Baked is a memoir that tackles family tragedy, motherhood, addiction all with honesty and humor. She also chats about her time and her departure from SNL.Episode Spon

Have What It Takes with Sharon McMahon
On this bonus episode, Heather continues her conversation with Sharon McMahon, covering a hypothetical run for office, a special tribute in Heather's act, and the story behind the “I Love Sharon McMahon” billboards.Episode Sponsors:Give your skin the affordable, luxurious glow up it deserves. Go to Naturium.com/ABSOLUTELY for 10% off your first purchase today.Shop at Sephora or get 10% of

WTF Government with Sharon McMahon
On this episode, Heather welcomes America’s government teacher, Sharon McMahon. They chat about their shared last name, lake life in Minnesota, and of course WTF is going on with our country and government. Sharon breaks Heather’s questions down in a way that anyone with extreme ADHD can understand. Episode Sponsors:Visit www.vivrelle.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for your first month

Know The Assignment
On this episode, Heather is back in ATL after shooting her 3rd special in Knoxville, TN. She chats about the crazy audience members, going through a McDonalds drive-thru, how she was booking a vacation while she should’ve been concentrating on her special. It’s been a long weekend, and the next few days she will be kicking her heels up. She takes on some of the most unhinged voicemails to

Tour Trials & Tribulations with Andrew Collin, Raymond Padilla and Christina Tompkins
On this episode, Heather brings the road dogs to the studio to give us all an in-depth recap of tour life. Andrew, Raymond, Christina and Heather reminisce about their favorite cities, toughest shows, the origin of Texas Tony and someone's reliance on Recticare. Episode Sponsors:Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on

Bonus: Conspiracy Theory Hot Takes
On this bonus episode, Heather is excited to chat about conspiracy theories. Last week we gave you a prompt about your favorite theories. We spiral on the missing scientists, data centers, lost planes, the moon landing, the Antarctic ice wall and finding love with aliens. Episode Sponsors:Help protect your home systems – and your wallet – with HomeServe against covered repairs. Plans star

F*ck Yo Couch
On this episode, Heather is coming to you from the new NYC Dear Media studios. Fresh off the heels of Netflix is a Joke, she has some explaining to do about her show in LA. She got to see friends and foes alike! We get voicemails from women buying $20 panties and girlies having a cruise reunion at the special taping. Episode Sponsors:Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to

Ole Miss Divas with Jay Jurden
On this episode Heather brings hilarious comedian and friend Jay Jurden to the pod. Jay and Heather go all the way back to the undergrad theatre department at Ole Miss. They reminisce about their hate for Lane Kiffin, being a theatre major together and how their paths lead them to Netflix is a Joke festival. You can catch Jay’s latest special, Yes Ma’am, on Hulu. Episode

Replay: Life's a Sprint
On this replay episode, Heather tells us what really happened at Netflix is a Joke in 2024. She gives a full recap of her time in Golden state and spills the tea from the comedy shows, after parties and more! She opens up about how her life has felt like a sprint and she just made it through the finish line, yet feels hungry for more. She also answers some of the best Absolutely Not's and

Mean but True with Suzanne Lambert
On this episode, Heather welcomes Suzanne Lambert to the podcast to chat about all things growing up in Georgia, the drama of politics and spray tans. The commiserate about sorority life, hotties in the senate, and Connecticut Karen’s. Episode Sponsors:Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely.For

We’ll Cry In June
On this episode, Heather is in full overstimulation mode as she juggles work chaos, no WiFi, and a rogue bird. She explains why “we’ll cry in June” has become her current life motto and is ready to launch a full investigation into the missing scientists. She then gets to your calls about birth conspiracies, offline shopping problems, and frat formals.Episode Sponsors:Head to Biologica.com

Alternative Experiences
On this episode, Heather is back from her unreal show at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville. She chats about the afterparty on Broadway where she was pouring lemondrop shots for the girls where she is brought back to her days behind the sticks. After having a conspiracy dinner in the Turks, she came home to binge watch multiple documentaries. She takes voicemails from peo

Trying Consistency
On this episode, Heather is down in the basement and going through a lot right now. Her fat kneecap is fat, but a visit to the Dr.’s office leads to hearing a missing puzzle piece about her Dad. She also chats about the Buff City Soap mafia coming for her. We hear voicemails from one of our Love on the Spectrum favorites, a mom debating about using her kid on TikTok and

Replay: Master Scammers Part 2 with Raymond Padilla
In honor of Masters Week, we are replaying a 2023 episode where we join Heather as she sits down with the ultimate scammer, Raymond. We discuss how they scammed their way into the Masters tournament, yet again. It is an in-depth observation into the golf world that rarely few people get to see. They get into just how much merch they bought, how swollen their feet were and how many a

Big Bold Bitches with Becky Robinson
On this episode, Heather welcomes Becky Robinson back to the podcast studio after breaking the hard news that Becky cannot join us on the Absolutely Knot Cruise 2.0. They chat about the happy memories from the cruise. Becky lets us know how she lets loose when she comes home from the road. Episode Sponsors:When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at Be

Spring Break Guardian Angels
On this episode, Heather is at the LA studio and welcoming her first live callers! These hussies really bring some wild spring break Absolutely Not’s to Heather and we are forever changed! We have callers that were down at the Villages, on a hetero bachelor party in Baltimore, wheelin’ and dealin’ in Daytona as a newly crowned amateur stripper, a near miss on girls gone wild Gen Xer

Bonus: Arigato Gozaimasu with Jeff Daniels
On this episode, Heather welcomes Jeff to the studio to discuss all things Japan! They go through their wagyu dinner reservations, baseball with Ohtani, treats from 7-11 and overall Japanese culture. They give you everything you need to know before heading over to Japan for the first time. Episode Sponsors:Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart,

Blonde Blindness
On this episode, Heather is back in Robin's Basement and ready to take on the chaos of the week. She has some exciting news about an upcoming live voicemails episode- make sure to take notes on how you can be chosen to chat with Heather. She has fresh highlights, lashes and is contemplating how a government shuts down. She chats about life as a tee ball mom as well as he

Consciously Unconscious
On this episode, Heather is back from Japan and has already put on her Nurse Ratchet outfit. There is no rest yet, she has to now take care of a toddler, figure out what to do with a frozen Christmas ham and get a surgery scheduled. She takes on voicemails about the origins of tiramisu and men holding their own baby showers. Episode Sponsors:Head to https://www.squarespa

Replay: Princess of Peace
On this episode from March 9, 2022, we hear Heather go on a real tear about International Women's Day. Coming off of a great weekend in Albany slinging jokes on tour, she's back with attitude and some Heather health advice (we all know she is not a Dr., but wears a short white coat). Heather also takes voicemails from the hotline. Episode Sponsors:Visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim

Get Thee to Therapy with Nicole Byer
On this episode, Heather welcomes fellow comedian Nicole Byer. They chat about meeting in the NYC comedy scene, the Heated Rivalry boys, and disassociating while on stage performing. They take on a voicemail about having sex dreams about a boss. You can find Nicole’s new crowd work special on YouTube, out on tour and or on any of her many podcasts.Episode Sponsors:Your emotional wellbeing

Choosing the Bear
On this episode, Heather has skeeted into the house fresh off a nose bleed. She is ready to take on her birthday month of March! She shares details of an upcoming shoot she is nervous about and her shows in Texas and her roots in the rodeo. Heading to Japan soon, she is ready to adopt Punch herself. She takes on a voicemail about the theatre kids version of the high school sp

Well Endowed with Vivian Tu
On this episode, Heather welcomes back your rich BFF, Vivian Tu, back to the pod. She is ready for all of you to be well-endowed, but wants you to make sure you don’t fall for the traps of online marketing. Vivian wants you to ask yourself- are you buying the thing or the feeling? Heather goes to her threads to ask Vivian what the people have questions about. Episode Spon

Red Envelope Olympics
On this episode, Heather is fresh off her sleep apnea test and ready for Chinese New Year. While she is awaiting results, she is fully immersed in the nail-biting world of the Winter Olympics. She takes voicemails from listeners who want to know more about going on WWHl and how Andy Cohen feels about her, as well as a reluctant cat daddy and a MIL who is just trying to help!Episode Sponso

Smiling with Kaitlan Collins
On this episode, Heather welcomes the iconic CNN white house correspondent, Kaitlan Collins to the pod. We get to hear all about flying on Air Force One, being in the press room, and of course her recent question and reaction she received from the President. They touch on the Epstein files, the presses’ relationship with Karoline Leavitt, and knowing which Truth social posts are act

Bamboozled in St. Barths
On this episode, Heather is back from a wild weekend in St. Barths. She leaned in and was ready to go, but of course got bamboozled while partying. She chats about the island experience, what you need to know before you go and how you need to always ask for an itemized receipt. She takes a voicemail about Robins’ lives and chats about her new special taping that she cannot

Connect the Dots
On this episode, Heather checks in from an icy, chaotic winter weekend. She gets deep into mahjong, considers stepping away from TikTok, and reflects on the current political landscape—speaking honestly about the fear, frustration, and responsibility that come with it.Episode Sponsors:Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com.Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your

People talking, You’re walking!
On this episode, Heather chats about nesting at home in Atlanta. She is out at the home goods, eating mushrooms she finds at Home Goods, and wearing cozy sweaters. She reminisces about jam band concerts, ahead of the summer concerts she is excited to go to and also the possibility of a Spice Girls reunion. She dissects voicemails about St. Barth's STD’s, age gap relationships, chroni

We Will Overcome
On this episode, Heather is on the “becoming Chinese” side of tik-tok, where she is being motivated to eat something warm in the morning and work out ( like everyone else at the year). She chats about the Ole Miss loss, why she isn’t at the Golden Globes and her healing titty wound. Voicemails from you guys get her yapping about pasta, the gym and sorority spring recruitment.E

Third-Degree Titty
On this episode, Heather welcomes 2026 with a fresh calendar and a fresh injury— her burnt titty. She celebrates the highs of Ole Miss making a national run and the lows of credit card points betraying her Japan plans. She then dives into your voicemails full of fresh starts, fiery horses, and big “new year, same bitch” energy.Episode Sponsors:Shop in store and online at NordstromRa

Clockin’ Back In
On this episode, Heather is ringing in the New Year with her favorite people, YOU! 2025 has been a series of ups and downs, but as we all know we can attribute this to not finishing the Vision Board last year. Heather is giving the best practices for you all to make your own vision board for 2026. She also goes through what everyone chimed in with what their 2026 goals are.&nb

Return of Rose and Thorn w Jeff Daniels
On this episode from the Christmas of 2022, Heather is sitting down with her Italian stallion to recap 2022 highs and lows as well as doomsday prep for 2023. Jeff and Heather both share their "rose and thorn" of the year and never really address how over-budget the wedding really was. It is too touchy of a subject and they will push onto their therapists 10 years down the road.Episod

Parisian Butter Run
On this episode, Heather is back from her Parisian getaway with Jackie Schimmel. She chats about her very adult gift decisions, how she tried to bamboozle the Hermes sales associate, the French version of Erewohn, and where she wants to travel to next. She takes on your voicemails about grandparents during the holidays,secret santa woes, and of course, Christmas trees people.&nb

Sparkle in the Eyes with Jared Hughes
On this episode, Heather welcomes friend and interior design extraordinaire, Jared Hughes. Jared and Heather chat about how he got into design with his 6th grade bedroom, how to make sure you get the best antiques from your aging relatives, and how to work an estate sale. They take on the voicemails about holiday etiquette and gift giving.Episode Sponsors:Find Kahlúa Dunkin Cara

5 Years Left with Atsuko Okatsuka
On this episode, Heather is back in LA and welcomes Atsuko Okatsuka to the pod. Heather has shown up to the recording dress in her last dusty Brooks and Dunn t-shirt, while Atsuko is in a full conductor designer outfit with a shrimp bolo tie. They debate whether or not they are brain rotting being on their phone all the time on tour, ridiculous personal Yelp reviews, and if it's bett

Return of Rebootin’ B*tch
On this episode replay from 2021, we're having a post-thanksgiving bitch fest because everyone has been forced into unwanted family-time and now we're all chain-smoking near the garage. IT'S A MESS. It's time to reboot bitches, and take some time for yourself-because if we don't, we won't make it out of the holiday's alive!Episode Sponsors:Shop my favorite pajamas at SKIMS.com. and if you

Scream Cream
On this episode, Heather is suffering from a wine headache, but ready to recap her weekend in Oxford for the Ole Miss game. She chats about the Lane Kiffin conspiracies of Gators, LSU and Theo Von. She takes on the voicemails from people seeking gay bar advice, an unlikely cease and desist, and what it’s like to have your life flash before your eyes.Episode Sponsors:Pick up GOODLES on you

Sex in the Kitchen
On this episode, Heather is coming off the high of the LA show, as well as the Dodger’s World Series Win, but also the low of fighting for her life with some sort of stomach bug in Austin. Heather also has a HUGE family announcement that is causing anxiety but all the excitement. She takes voicemails from Ole Miss tailgaters, Trader Joe’s virgins as well as a show-goer who needed medical

Mountain Dew Margs
On this episode, Heather is in NYC after a slew of shows across Texas, Kentucky and Ohio. So many characters came out to the show, but nothing like Midland Moms drunk on Mountain Dew Margaritas. We also get a Texas Tony update! She takes voicemails from an unlikely DUI charge, doulas dilemmas, debates about starting a travel show.Episode Sponsors:Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can sa

All Dogs Go To Heaven with Raymond Padilla
On this episode, Heather and Raymond welcome Dog the Bounty Hunter and his late wife, Beth to the pod. They threw together their costumes in 20 minutes to make for a ridiculous take on these two TLC legends. The chat about their favorite movie theatre snacks and how they will never be as put together as Mary Beth Barone and Benito Skinner. They take a voicemail about a very controversial

Return of Burnt My Grundle
This week, we’re taking it back to one of the most iconic episodes in Absolutely Not history: Burnt My Grundle. In this replay, Heather relives the madness of a piping hot Starbucks to the lap, and goes through some of the most chaotic voicemails. If you’re new here, buckle up. If you’re an OG, you already know this one is a classic.Episode Sponsors:Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial,

Unwell B*tch
On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after the UNWELL weekend in Vegas . She had two insane shows in Florida, flew Breeze nonstop to the Cosmo, and then hung out with Alex Cooper and every housewife you can imagine. While God is good, someone is testing her or has put on a voodoo hex. Rigs is back in the VET ER, Macaroni maybe has a UTI and the rest of our pets heads are fall

For the Girlies
On this episode, Heather is fired up about the new Taylor Swift album, seeing Tate McRae in concert and all things that make being a girl the best. She chats about her amazing show in Seattle followed by a humbling flight home. She takes voicemails from other TSwift lovers, bad ass women driving themselves to their own delivery and who pilates is really made for. Episode Sponsors:Go to Sq

FORE
On this episode, Heather is back from the Ryder Cup with a few things to say. Episode Sponsors:To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolutelyFor a limited time, Boulevard is offering new customers 20% off your first year subscription. Visit JoinBlvd.com to learn more.Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely.

Workin' to the Bone
On this episode, Heather is excited for the week ahead at the Ryder Cup. She is headed up to New York to host a party at the 1st tee and needs all the single girlies to come through. She also cannot wait for you to see her in the custom Ralph Lauren fits. She chats about upcoming shows- have you gotten your tickets yet?! She takes voicemails from listeners with viral video trolls, Turo re

Back to the Red Carpet
On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after hosting the EMMY’s Live from the Red Carpet for E! She chats about how hot this carpet was, the celebs and friends that she saw, and what after parties she got to hit. She dreams about her future in television and how she would crush Dancing with the Stars. We have voicemails from yacht sellers, girls with jealous SIL and a girl that

Trust Your Gut
On this episode, Heather is coming to you from her hotel room in LA. She chats about her shows this past weekend in Omaha and Denver as well as the exciting week ahead where she will be back working with E! on the EMMY’s red carpet. She dives into your voicemails from fans in the front row, to buying an international home and whether your nail lady has your back. Episode Sponsors:Th

Hope and a Prayer
On this episode, Heather is in Atlanta and gearing up for a couple of wild upcoming weeks. She chats about the stresses of still living with Robin and solutions like joining a dojo or becoming a kickboxer. Decision fatigue has fully set in. She takes your voicemails about psychotic husband behavior, how to be a good neighbor, southern pronunciations, what the heck is happening with

The Showgirl is Back!
On this episode, Heather is back in the Atlanta studio after getting back on the road with The Bamboozled Tour in Memphis and Charlotte. The Showgirl is back on the road and another showgirl is engaged! She chats about what went down in each city and goes down sorority rush memory lane. We get back to the voicemails where she takes on another type of wedding proposal, airline

Well Done but Juicy with Retta
On this episode, Heather is in LA and welcomes her fabulous friend, Retta to the pod! Retta and Heather met at a friend's birthday in Mexico and connected over margaritas and steak. They chat about auditions, how Glen Powell smells, and what’s a must have in her dressing room. Episode Sponsors:Find Duke’s Mayo at your local retailer. If it’s not there, riot (respectfully) Visit dukesmayo.

Return of Joy Ride to the ATM
This week, we’re reminiscing tales from Heather’s last tour ahead of some stops in Tennessee and Texas. In this replay episode, she breaks down the details of the insane predicament she found herself in at the Memphis airport. She also ran into a couple Lasso kids in Texas and was slinging art in Mississippi for Robin like drug dealer from the 80's. That and more!Episode Sponsors:Find Duk

Who’s Unc Now?
On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after her annual European summer vacay. She has weeded through her tik-tok trolls only to realize she has come out ahead as America’s Unc. She relives her boat days, her Air France journey home, and her back to school shopping memories. She takes voicemails from girls on a best friend trip to Italy, gift giving and golf bag woes, and why s

Stronger than Ozempic
On this episode, Heather is recording straight from a pool house in Mallorca—armed with nothing but her phone, a questionable Wi-Fi signal, and enough acid reflux to ignite a small fire. She’s giving us a mid-vacation dispatch packed with thoughts on travel etiquette, her ongoing battle with GLP-1, and a passionate tribute to the unsung pop legacy of Brooke Hogan. Plus, a quick tour updat

Two Weeks Too Long (Replay)
On this replay of the pod from almost exactly 3 years ago, we get Heather fresh off her extra long honeymoon. While she should feel refreshed, renewed and wildly in love- she is lucky to not be in an italian jail cell after clearly spending too much time with her new husband, Jeff. She breaks down the importance of communication, how much wine she drank every day at lunch and her plans to

Summer at Chateau McMahan with Robin
On this episode, Heather welcomes the one and only Robin McMahan to the studio. Robin is back from Portugal with a group of fabulous older women and bestows some advice before Heather's trip. They discuss the infamous EGG HAT, European Zara’s and the price of seabass. They obviously go into Robin’s dating dilemmas. They take your voicemails about boomers, summers at Chateau McMahan and th

Zoom Out with Jackie Schimmel
On this episode, Heather is in LA and welcoming her favorite bitch, Jackie Schimmel, who is about to head out on her own tour- Dim the Lights. They discuss how we all need to zoom out, berating each other's husbands, and social boundaries. Jackie takes Heather down on her unsolicited kindness to strangers while Heather then gets to the bottom of why Jackie didn’t join us on the cruise.&nb

Nothing Natural
On this episode, Heather is on the up and up after the events of the last few weeks. She chats about how turtles and cardinals are now showing up as signs, what it was like 100 years ago, and how she plans to spend her time in Europe. While her life may be hectic right now, she turns to your voicemails to bring her back to reality. She hears about Louisiana gay uncles, how comfortable peo

Bouncing Back
On this episode, Heather is back in the Atlanta studio after a very stressful and eventful week. Definitely feels like she can't get her neck above water and brings you along her insane days. She relives her experience at the emergency vet that could rival The Pitt, getting her pap on her anniversary, and receiving a very special gift that may be light at the end of a very long tunnel. Sh

Bat in the Balenciaga (Replay)
This week, we're pulling another classic episode out of the archives for the newcomers. This one features one of the wildest voicemails we've heard yet, a mom having to break the holy water out for her daughter, and a surprise cameo from Robin.Episode Sponsors:Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/absolutely.Go to Quince.

The Artist’s Way with Tinx
On this episode, Heather welcomes her friend from the internet Tinx to the pod after they both separately went to Beyonce the night before! They question why they have never met up for a 3 martini lunch and why finance bros get to enjoy them all the time. They connect on being pulled in too many directions and how they should start the Artist Way this summer. With an overdue book pro

North Face, Baby
On the episode, Heather is fresh off her NYC takeover—including a memorable night at The Beacon. Now she’s back in her basement, recording old-school style and fighting off whatever funk the universe sent as a reminder to sit down and reset. She’s booking check-ups, trying new beauty hacks, and figuring out what’s going on with her wonky wrist. Plus, she shares her run-in with cosmetic co

Wiggin’ Out with Andrea Lopez and Anna Roisman
On this episode, Heather is back in NYC and welcomes two cruising hussies to the pod. Andrea and Anna are hosts of their own pod Big Wigs but are famously known for their impressions. They chat about how they met, the cruise, their favorite Boar’s Head meats, and being related to a serial killer. We also get a surprise appearance from two of their favorite Calabasas characters.Episo

In Her Color Palette with Kelsey Cook
On this episode, Heather welcomes Kelsey Cook to the podcast studio. Kelsey is another fabulous comic that is on tour and has released her new special, Mark Your Territory. They connect on never being to Coachella, the similarities of boomers and millennials, survival jobs and where they stand on Crumbl cookies. Kelsey also finds out that she is actually another race because she

Atlanta is Family
On this episode, Heather is in the studio after a big weekend performing at her home theatre - The Fox. She chats about how doing a show at home can be more stressful than any other cities and how the acquaintances come out of the woodwork to get those free tickets. She tries to relax on Sunday by putting out all her lawn furniture for the summer but the heat index had other plans. She is

Daaaa Pope
On the episode, Heather is feeling nautical (and musical) in a fully bedazzled ship captain’s hat. She has some hot takes on the newly appointed American pope and shares some of the gifts she received on the cruise. She dives into Robin’s controversial stance on why dining out on Mother’s Day is an absolute no and then provides advice to your voicemails about breakups, cocktails, and shor

When Life Gives You Lemon Drops
On the episode, Heather is home for a few days and back in the Atlanta studio. She has been enjoying her few days at home, before it’s back on the road. She goes over how Robin’s trip to Portugal has been going and how her own show in Chicago went. She takes on the voicemails to find probably the #1 absolutely not of all time. Can this be the one?Episode Sponsors:AG1 is offeri

This is Healing
On this episode, Heather is taking it old school and recording live from a hotel room in Miami. No, she isn’t still on the cruise, she is back to working girl life as a corporate girlie. She gives the cruise recap from her perspective and how emotional it made it. She also chats about another milestone-reaching 1 million miles on Delta. She wraps it up with more cruise voicemail

Live from the Lido Deck with Tina Tompkins & Raymond Padilla
On this truly iconic episode, Heather is coming to you live from the Absolutely Knot cruise. She has a live audience on the deck and two guests to bring you all the on board updates and of course, Absolutely Not’s. If you have all the fomo, you will not want to miss this one. Episode Sponsors:Our favorite cookware set will save you $150 versus buying the items individually. Pl

Masters Sans Scammer
On this episode, Heather is physically on the cruise, but has brought you a Master’s recap prior to boarding the ship. She chats about her time at the Par 3, trying to be everyone else’s photographer, and of course the coveted merch haul. She also has a message for the millennial white women's fashion choices. Episode Sponsors:Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re

Virgin Cruisers with Rosebud Baker
On this episode, Heather is back with Rosebud Baker for a light pregame just in time for The Absolutely Knot Cruise. Rosebud chats about her relationship, becoming a mom, and taking her comedy in a new direction this time around on tour. They also drop some piping hot takes on the Real Housewives and give the scoop on their upcoming cruise shenanigans. It's been a long road and the ladies

We’re Not Isolating!
On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after a great show in Raleigh and then being a guest on Adam Ray’s Dr. Phil Live in Atlanta. Like everyone else, she has been attacked by the insane pollen that is plaguing the south, but she is rejoicing with some amazing news she received this past week! She gets back to the voicemails from all of you!Episode Sponsors:Nutrafol is offerin

Medicated Adults with Salty Locks Sisters Boho Britt and Amber
On this episode, Heather welcomes Boho Britt and Amber from Salty Locks Extensions and Studio 285. Heather believes that being close to your glam team is one of the most important things you can cultivate and these two sisters have truly become part of the family. They chat about a ChatGPT boyfriend, catchphrases and even quantum physics. They are two business baddies that will also be jo

Gotta Yap A Little
On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after a fantastic weekend of birthday shows in the DMV. She had a hell of a time celebrating her 38th with the shows at Capitol One Hall and partying with her friends there. She makes a plea for Tatte to come to Atlanta. She discusses how the vibes are in DC and explains who her new favorite southern auntie Doctor is. She takes your voicemails a
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