PsycHacks
PsycHacks offers short, thought-provoking episodes several times a week on various psychological topics, inspired by clinical practice. Each episode aims to help listeners see themselves or their world from a new perspective.
Episodes
Episode 630: A means to an end (three lessons)
In a rapidly changing world, understanding that everything you have is a means to an end can protect you from the unnecessary suffering arising from inappropriate identification. In this episode, I present three lessons on using loss, uncertainty, and disruption as opportunities for growth. Learn how disciplined detachment and intelligent flexibility give you the best chance of surviving – and thr
Episode 629: Wanting a wife (the secretary problem)
Why are modern marriages breaking down? In this episode, I argue that one of the root causes is that both men and women are wanting a wife. The secretary problem reveals an enduring male preference: men will enter into relationships with women who help them. However, mismatched expectations around roles, reciprocity, and value exchange are frustrating the formation of relationships today.
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Episode 628: Smart people are happy (understanding intelligence)
Contrary to popular belief, smart people are happy because they successfully apply their intelligence to the problem of their own happiness and fulfillment. Understanding intelligence as the ability to solve problems allows us to remove this construct from the academic realm. I discuss why the need to be “right” can distract us from building a life worth living, and how to direct our thinking towa
Episode 627: Just be yourself (the best and worst advice)
Is “just be yourself” good advice? In today's episode, I explain why authenticity only works after disciplined self-development has generated competence, confidence, and results. The truth is that becoming who you want to be generally requires first trying to be someone you're not. This is why “just be yourself” is both the best and worst advice: its relevance depends on which stage of becoming yo
Episode 626: Wounds (your greatest gift)
Our deepest wounds can become enduring sources of wisdom and value when we refuse to let pain define us. In this episode, I explain how suffering – when mastered through discipline and intention – can be transformed into something meaningful and productive. Once your scar becomes a star, you may discover that you can bless your pain for the benefit it has given others.
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Episode 625: Detach (how men show up)
Attachment theory dominates modern dating advice, but this might be leading men in the wrong direction. In this episode, I explain why emotional attachment matters more for women, and how its misapplication distorts expectations in relationships. Instead, I argue that men should detach – not out of indifference, but in order to lead with clarity and confidence. This is how men show up at their bes
Episode 624: The samurai (a model for men)
The samurai stands as a model for men, embodying disciplined strength without sacrificing emotional depth. Rather than suppressing sensitivity, the samurai integrates masculine resolve with feminine awareness to achieve mastery in both action and perception. Through a balance of toughness and refinement, he demonstrates how strength can elevate feeling rather than destroy it.
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Episode 623: How women win (happy hunting)
In this episode, I explain how women win in the sexual marketplace by shifting from passive dating to strategic selection. From a woman's perspective, preparation – not promiscuity – is the key to long-term success. I encourage women to engage in hunting, which requires a fair amount of research and purposefulness to be successful. This allows them to utilize their sexuality intentionally. Happy h
Episode 622: The bird test (responding to women)
The bird test is a viral relationship trend that claims to measure emotional attunement through smalls bids for attention, fostering unrealistic expectations about availability and validation. Relationships require respect for the other's time and energy – not performative displays of responding to women. The truth is that a lack of situational awareness is actually a sign of low emotional intelli
Episode 621: Bonding (what nature can teach us)
The science of bonding reveals how oxytocin shapes different attachment patterns in men and women. By examining these attachment asymmetries, we can gain insight into the hidden forces that guide commitment, attraction, and relationship stability. Discover what nature can teach us about love, family, and the foundations of lasting connection.
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Episode 620: The end of thought (you can't talk to some people)
In today's episode, I explain how therapeutic language can be weaponized to silence disagreement and stigmatize opposing views. When emotions fuse with beliefs, ordinary conflicts can rapidly escalate into moral condemnation and actionable accusations. Rational dialogue collapses because you can't talk to some people who interpret disagreement as a personal attack. Cognitive fusion is the end of t
Episode 619: Timing (why people get married)
How much of dating really comes down to timing? In this episode, I argue that being in the right place at the right time matters a lot more than finding the right person. Using the metaphor of musical chairs, I reveal why people get married – and it's more often to do with readiness, not romance. If you're serious about settling down, this will change how you think about strategy, opportunity, and
Episode 618: Men have a culture (it needs to be preserved)
Men have a culture – a shared system of values like honor, discipline, and duty – that could disappear in just a few generations if it is not consciously transmitted. Drawing on the lived experience of losing my ancestral identity, I argue that masculinity functions as a living tradition rather than merely a biological fact. Modern social forces are accelerating the erosion of masculine norms, pot
Episode 617: I don't need a man (how women use men)
What do women really mean when they say, “I don't need a man”? The answer reveals how women use men – a reality that is (quite literally) hidden in plain sight. The truth is that both men and women objectify each other – albeit in different ways. However, it is generally in everyone's best interest to accept reality and operate in the sexual marketplace with their eyes open, as this isn't going to
Episode 616: She'll wait (why she won't forget about you)
Worried she'll lose interest if you're not available to her? In today's episode, I explain why she'll wait when attraction and emotional investment are high. The truth is that your absence might do more to inflame her emotions than your presence ever could. Appreciating the underlying emotional dynamics will help you understand why she won't forget about you – and why insecurity can sabotage your
Episode 615: Disagreeable women (the duty to follow)
What happens when strong personalities clash with relationship roles? In this episode, I discuss disagreeable women and why that trait can be an asset in leaders – but a liability in followers. It's for each person to look inside him- or herself and determine whether he or she has the potential for leadership. Those who can't (or won't) lead have the duty to follow.
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Episode 614: Use the city (get in, get out)
Thinking of moving to the big city? In this episode, I explain why it is essential that you use the city strategically – otherwise, it will end up using you. In today's world, cities are best treated as temporary launchpads for opportunity – places to build income or meet a partner. However, once you've secured those advantages, the smart move is to look for the door. Get in, get out. When it come
Episode 613: Give him the money (women don't share)
A striking new study corroborates my economic model of relationships. Apparently, when men earn more money, they are more likely to start a family – whereas women are significantly less likely to do so when given the same advantage. The data suggest that women don't share in the same way men do. If we want to fix declining birth rates and prevent population collapse, it will become increasingly im
Episode 612: Make your own mistakes (you have a right to your pain)
In a world full of advice, you still need to make your own mistakes. Real wisdom doesn't come from influencers or books – it comes from the lessons of lived experience. Through the lens of Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, I demonstrate why the journey is necessary to discover what was always within reach. When life's lessons hurt, remember: you have a right to your pain – it's the price of genuine un
Episode 611: The diamond mine (men are the prize)
Who is the prize in modern relationships: the man or the woman? In this episode, I break down the viral debate and offer a comparison between top-tier men and women. While a top-tier woman is a diamond – dazzling and expensive – a top-tier man is a diamond mine – productive and valuable. Men are the prize because assets that generate value always outperform liabilities that consume it.
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Episode 610: Turning it around (how to start winning in life)
Feel like nothing is going your way? In this episode, I break down the psychology of turning it around when you're stuck in a rut. The key is to understand the role of inertia and momentum in human behavior and why small, strategic wins are essential to changing direction. Learn how to start winning in life by (temporarily) lowering your threshold of achievement and building “win chains” that crea
Episode 609: Performative masculinity (it's not what you think)
We hear a lot about performative masculinity these days – but it's not what you think. In this episode, I argue that this term has been widely misused and clarify that women have been performing masculinity on a mass scale. Behaviors like protectiveness, dutifulness, and aggressiveness become hollow signals when they produce no real-world effects. Do not mistake the theatre for reality.
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Episode 608: You do not need entertainment (how to get more done)
The average American now spends 11 hours a day consuming media – and it's quietly draining our collective vitality. The truth is that you do not need entertainment nearly as much as you think you do. In this episode, I'll discuss how to get more done by cycling effort rather than defaulting to screens when you feel tired. If you're serious about building a meaningful life, this episode is for you.
Episode 607: Protecting against gold diggers (show them the money)
Successful men often ask me how to effectively integrate protecting against gold diggers into their dating strategy. The answer is simpler than you think. The key principle? Show them the money, but never allow them to separate your resources from your presence. Gold diggers will attempt to do so and will resort to emotional manipulation strategies when they encounter resistance – non-exploitative
Episode 606: The time to live (your second birthday)
Most men live as if they have unlimited tomorrows – but the time to live is now. In this episode, I confront the illusion of future fulfillment and the trap of endless striving. All great and lasting works are produced after a man's second birthday: the moment he wakes up to his own mortality. Procrastination is a form of arrogance, as it presumes time enough to act. If you've been postponing your
Episode 605: Let men solve problems (he's not your girlfriend)
Why do women get frustrated when men try to offer them solutions? In this episode, I argue that relationships suffer when we ignore men's natural strengths and insist they conform to women's communication preferences. Therapeutic culture maintains that listening is the answer. However, that's rarely true. It's important for women to remember he's not your girlfriend. When women let men solve probl
Episode 604: Optimization fatigue (why you feel worse as you get better)
Are you exhausted from trying to optimize every area of your life? In this episode, I discuss optimization fatigue and how constant self-improvement messaging quietly drains your energy. This is why you feel worse as you get better, even when you're making real progress. It turns out that optimization isn't actually optimal for either growth or outcome. If this is you, it may be time to step off t
Episode 603: Bad boys (why women want them)
Why are women consistently drawn to bad boys – even when they expressly say they want the opposite? Although bad boys are essentially intimidating and antisocial, their disregard stimulates women's emotions and their aggressiveness serves as a female safety cue. This is the reason why women want them: the danger they represent signals protection and an invitation to social freedom.
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Episode 602: How to get over an ex (the two best strategies)
Heartbreak can steal months – or years – of your life, if you let it. In this episode, I break down how to get over an ex using psychological truths – not wishful thinking. The two best strategies for doing so are exposure and extinction, and they both arrive at the same destination, namely: neutrality in the face of the lost object. If you're ready to reclaim your dignity and move on for good, th
Episode 601: A useful eight (my ideal woman)
Many people have asked me about my ideal woman. My answer is simple: my ideal woman is a useful eight. She is attractive enough to captivate my sexual interest, but not so attractive as to make herself impractically high-maintenance. Furthermore, she adds value to my life – rather than depletes it. I offer this practical framework so that other men might benefit in their own vetting processes.
Joi
Episode 600: Cheap sex (it's not all bad)
There are many people who lament the current state of the sexual marketplace. Characterized by (relatively) cheap sex and inappropriate expectations, dating in today's day and age is like living in the lawless wild west. However, it's not all bad. One of the many silver linings here is that the devaluation of female sexual access has created the practical necessity for women to improve their value
Episode 599: She who cries wolf (is she seeing clearly?
Women initiate the lion's share of divorces. Are they detecting real threats to their relationships or are they crying wolf? Heightened threat sensitivity in conjunction with neuroticism can turn fake problems into real problems by eroding trust, credibility, and long-term stability. The fact is that false positives can be just as destructive as false negatives. The question for she who cries wolf
Episode 598: Relaxing into her feminine (the soft life)
It is not uncommon to hear a woman today speak of “relaxing into her feminine.” When a strong provider arrives to pay the bills and solve the problems, she is finally free to luxuriate in her feelings and fully experience her womanhood. And while there is nothing inherently wrong about the soft life, such a perspective begs the question: why is it so difficult for femininity to appear outside of i
Episode 597: Sex isn't special (feelings don't count)
Though it might feel precious to certain individuals, sex isn't special in the modern sexual marketplace. In reality, emotional attachment accounts for most of the inflation of its perceived value. However, feelings don't count. Like selling a family heirloom in a pawn shop, these emotions add nothing in the objective value exchange. And the more spiritualized sex becomes, the less it can (and sho
Episode 596: An ordinary life (it's not for everyone)
Settling down can offer peace and stability for some. However, such an arrangement can be suffocating and stultifying for others. An ordinary life is best suited for ordinary people. Those with extraordinary talents, passions, or ambitions will likely find it difficult to thrive under such conditions. Marriage: it's not for everyone – and that's okay.
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Episode 595: Height (tall men have it easy)
Height matters to women – far more than it probably should – and this increasingly exaggerated preference is distorting the entire sexual marketplace. However, men under six feet aren't out of the game yet. Several factors within their domain of control – like their fitness, their finances, and their mindset – can offset a genetic disadvantage they can do little to change. Tall men have it easy –
Episode 594: The democratic lie (we are not created equal)
The democratic lie is the cherished belief that all men are created equal. And the corollary to this belief is that any inequality that does exist must originate from social causes. However, we are not created equal. Even a cursory examination of your senses confirms this fact. Biological differences in intelligence, attractiveness, and ability create real advantages and disadvantages in social ac
Episode 593: His money is my money (modern slavery)
Some women in relationships believe that “my money is my money, and his money is my money.” This is a dangerous double standard that goes well beyond financial entitlement. Since money is the abstraction of time spent in labor, and labor is always spent in the application of the body, financial entitlement is effectively laying claim to another's labor – and the body that produced it. This is a fo
Episode 592: Why you were lied to (and why it hurts so much)
The lies that hurt the most are the lies you wanted to believe. Most of us want desperately to realize our ego ideals: the version of ourselves we would most like to feel that we are. However, this is precisely where we are most vulnerable. You can reclaim your emotional equilibrium by facing the truth about yourself. This is why you believed the lie and why it hurts so much.
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Episode 591: You are a killer (dominate your mind)
If you want your mind to be a peaceful garden, then you must cultivate the willingness to destroy whatever threatens it. Freedom and self-mastery are won through disciplined aggression against destructive thoughts and internal programming. No one will free you: you must fight for your own liberation. Embrace the fact that you are a killer, and dominate your mind.
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Episode 590: Why the world is falling apart (turning down the genie)
Many people today lament the end of the world. And while we are entering into a period of rapid change, the real cause isn't political or ideological. We're in this situation because no one is turning down the genie: our magical technologies that effortlessly fulfill desire. It's not in our nature to turn down easy gratification – and expecting others to do so is unrealistic. This is why the world
Episode 589: The female idol (the corruption of dating)
Modern dating has turned women into idols – and men into worshipers making endless sacrifices. Pedestalization, gift giving, and “high effort” dating all mirror the ancient practice of religious rituals in which value is sacrificed in the hopes of securing a divine blessing. The advent of the female idol has led to the corruption of dating – and we are all worse off for it.
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Episode 588: Love and justice (order and chaos)
We collectively have a strange attitude toward love and justice. We desire – even expect – others to approach divinity in their capacity to love, but we reject the fundamental basis of their capacity to judge. This has led to the systematic destabilization of society, which seeks to prioritize love – and its exemptions for the individual – over justice – with its universal mandate. All societies m
Episode 587: The reality of modern family (what's the point?)
The modern nuclear family is a private-sector surrogacy. The necessity of dual incomes has not only radically altered the sexual marketplace, but it has subverted domestic life into an unsustainable absurdity, as well. Given the addition effort and expense associated with maintaining this arrangement, we are justified in asking: “what's the point?” The reality of modern family is now very differen
Episode 586: What do you want to have for dinner? (no straight answers)
The question “what do you want to have for dinner?” isn't about dinner at all – it's a covert test of value, attention, and emotional investment. In this episode, I discuss how men and women use the same conversations to gather very different kinds of information. This is why so often there are no straight answers from women: some of the information they seek cannot be collected through direct que
Episode 585: Women are dirty (understanding their dark desires)
Contrary to popular belief, women are not made of sugar and spice. Their sexual fantasies are far more devious and socially unacceptable than most people realize. By examining women's prototypical romantic fantasy, we can approach an understanding of their dark desires – an analysis corroborated by many examples hidden in plain sight. Women are dirty: make of it what you will.
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Episode 584: Become a monster (owning your darkness)
You are the monster you a running from in your nightmares. How could it be otherwise? Shadow work is the process of owning your darkness and integrating it into your conscious personality. The impulses and desires we disavow tend to become the evils we project into the world. You can either become a monster – or be hunted by the monsters of your own making.
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Episode 583: Staying at home (no one wants to do it)
For the last few decades, both men and women have been trying to talk the opposite sex into staying at home with the kids. However, if this were as wonderful as both sides make it out to be, then each would be clamoring to do so themselves. The fact is that no one wants to do it, because staying at home is associated with certain challenges that many adults are ill-prepared to meet. It's time we m
Episode 582: Women walking away (are men to blame?)
The results are in: women are more dissatisfied in their relationships than men are. However, before we interpret this as yet another signal that men need to “do better,” we need to ask ourselves: are women more satisfied out of their relationships? In reality, there is a host of evidence to suggest that women exhibit lower satisfaction than men in a variety of contexts – suggesting that their rel
Episode 581: Sex and attention (the most reinforcing good)
The most reinforcing good you can give to a man is sex, and the most reinforcing good you can give to a woman is attention. This asymmetry is responsible for the power imbalances in many exclusive relationships, in which women typically eliminate their competition, but retain their optionality. Fairness and equality aren't the same thing – and what's good for the goose isn't always what's good for
Episode 580: Modern women (you can't have it both ways)
In the wake of the death of the lady, we see the rise of modern women. Today's women are attempting to secure the benefits associated with both of their roles in the historical sexual marketplace without any of the liabilities – and this is creating a host of intersexual misunderstandings. The truth is that you can't have it both ways – irrespective of whether you're a man or a woman. However, for
Episode 579: Death of the lady (where are all the real men?)
Modern women ask “where are all the real men?” However, to answer this question, we need to look through the lens of the traditional sexual marketplace and the historical divide between “ladies” and “prostitutes.” Learn how these roles shaped male behavior, female strategy, and the rise (and fall) of chivalry. The death of the lady has ushered in the contemporary sexual marketplace. First in a two
Episode 578: Is having a boyfriend embarrassing? (single is not a flex)
Is it really cringe for women to have boyfriends now? In today's episode, I respond to Vogue's viral article (“Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?”) and explain why the trend against relationships isn't quite as empowered as it seems. Learn how social validation, political ideology, and intrasexual competition shape what women are told to value. The truth is single is not a flex.
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Episode 577: Get better (advice for men)
Telling men to “get better” is vague, moralistic, and (typically) rooted in frameworks that prioritize women's needs and desires. However, men can – and should – get better. In today's episode, I argue that men get better by becoming stronger, richer, and more attractive – as these things might be the closest we get to inherent goods. Ignore the voices pushing weakness and decline. Invest in yours
Episode 576: She takes and takes (why he feels used)
Some men complain to me about their women: “she takes and takes.” However, the real problem in the relationship is that he gives and gives. This is why he feels used. In this episode, I discuss how poor boundaries, emotional discomfort, and scarcity mentality all conspire to make men complicit in their own relational resentment. Cultivate abundance – and the optionality it passively generates – an
Episode 575: The ring test (love and business)
The ring test is one that I would encourage every man seriously considering marriage to conduct, as it will expose a woman's true motivations for wedlock – and your own latent romanticism. Marriage is not about love. Marriage is a business contract that is primarily concerned with the ownership and distribution of resources. Before you propose, ask the only questions that really matter: “Can I aff
Episode 574: How to find yourself (understanding what you really want)
Finding yourself is not something that people do, once and for all. This is because we are always in the process of becoming who we are. At these moments of reflection, it's important to know how to find yourself. The key is understanding what you really want and developing the capacity to understand the feedback provided by your emotions when they come into contact with experience. If you fill yo
Episode 573: Body count (beyond the number)
Many men obsess over a woman’s “body count.” But the truth is that men will never learn the truth – and what they do learn won't reassure them. In this episode, I discuss why digging into a woman's sexual history is generally not a good idea, and why body count is an imperfect proxy for purity, loyalty, and long-term compatibility. It's time that men move beyond the number.
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Episode 572: The love trap (she can't fix you)
Many men believe that a woman's love will fill the emptiness inside of them – but it can't. This is the love trap. The bitter truth is that you can't feel another person's love. You can only feel your own love coming out of you. Consequently, it's a good idea for men to heal this emptiness on their own – through purpose, faith, and action. She can't fix you.
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Episode 571: How relationships work (on value)
In today's episode, I discuss the fundamental truths with respect to how relationships are created and maintained. It all centers on value. It is neither the good nor the loving nor the virtuous who are desired for relationships, but the people from whom others want things. This is how relationships work. Ignore these principles at your own risk.
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Episode 570: You can't cheat yourself (understanding self love)
While you can occasionally trick others, the truth is that you can't cheat yourself. This is why all real growth arises out of discipline and self-love. When people want something more than they want the process of obtaining it, they will be tempted to fraud. However, you can resist this temptation by understanding self love as sacrifice in the service of your goals.
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Episode 569: Man up (for the benefit of women)
Modern culture tells men to “man up” – but not for their own sakes. In today's episode, I expose how society defines masculinity for the benefit of women, and why this does men a disservice. The dominant culture does not want strong, prosperous, masculine men – but it's time for men to reclaim their self-definition.
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Episode 568: My new book (why you should read it)
I'm proud to announce that I've recently completed my new book, Starry Night. Since it's a bit different from my usual fare, I thought I would make an episode on why you should read it. Starry Night is a piece of historical fiction relating the final days of the painter, Vincent van Gogh. Through multiple perspectives, the story explores genius, madness, love, and the tragedy of suicide. It’s a ph
Episode 567: If he wanted to (maybe he would)
A popular meme that is circulating the internet involves women posting videos of men demonstrating uncommon provision and devotion with the caption: “if he wanted to, he would.” The idea here is that women should never accept less than full princess treatment in their romantic relationships. However, there is more to this trope than meets the eye. In today's episode, I discuss some of the surprisi
Episode 566: The primary lie (you can't always get what you want)
The primary lie is responsible for the vast majority of relationship dysfunction and the attendant relationship dysfunction industries, namely: the belief that you can have any relationship with anyone. It turns out you can only have certain relationships with certain people. However, people remain willfully blinded by their hope and their attraction. The truth is Mick was right: you can't always
Episode 565: As little as possible (why men need to do the bare minimum)
Women often complain online about men doing “the bare minimum” when planning and executing dates. In today's episode, I present a number of arguments why it may – in fact – be in men's best interests to do as little as possible, especially early in the courtship process. Besides enabling men to establish sustainable reinforcement protocols, doing as little as possible helps men separate the women
Episode 564: Garden tools (how to capture male attention)
In today's episode, I'll be discussing garden tools – but not the horticultural type. The fact is that hoeish behavior persists on the population level because it works. Women who behave this way know how to capture male attention and resources. That said, while it may not be possible to turn a hoe into a housewife, you can – in fact – turn a housewife into a hoe.
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Episode 563: The prison planet (the nature of existence)
In honor of my father's 75th birthday, I'm going to talk about one of his favorite concepts: the prison planet. Once you accept the fundamental premise of this model, a great deal of human suffering – past and present – begins to make sense. People exist in various degrees of unfreedom, and no one quite remembers how this happened. By understanding the nature of existence, we can make better choic
Episode 562: Bait your hook (how will you be used?)
If you're fishing for relationships, you have to bait your hook – because fish don't bite steel. Of course, this runs the risk of being exploited for your bait. However, you can significantly reduce the likelihood of this occurring with a little common sense. Just remember that you can't dictate what fish are supposed to like. Bait your hook appropriately and you'll never be at a loss for food. Th
Episode 561: The spark (dating for feels)
Many young people are in search of the spark: a certain quickening of the blood that supposedly indicates that they've found “the one.” However, dating for feels generally only makes any sense if certain conditions are met. Assuming the spark is a kind of signal detection software for your unconscious love template, following this feeling only “works” if you had a good model to begin with. Otherwi
Episode 560: Dread (understanding evil)
The mission of this channel is to reduce unnecessary human suffering, and one way to do this is through a proper understanding of evil. One underappreciated source of evil is dread: the deeply unnerving uncertainty that attends awareness of our mortality. Attempts to both avoid dread and foreclose on it create a good deal of misery in the world. However, alternatives exist that can make life less
Episode 559: She can cry (how to deal with an emotional woman)
The sight of a crying woman can be a source of great distress for a man, which can motivate him to do all kinds of things he wouldn't ordinarily do in order to “make her feel better.” However, in most cases, there is typically nothing to be done. She can cry, and she is entitled to her feelings. This is dealing with an emotional woman.
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Episode 558: You are a parking space (how to suffer less)
A great deal of the unnecessary suffering on this planet arises from inappropriate identification, which leads to narcissistic injury. A way to prevent this from occurring is to consider the idea that you are a parking space. Rather than identifying with anything that resides there, you can see yourself as the container which holds what you temporarily have. This is how to suffer less.
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Episode 557: The look (speak with your eyes)
As a man, it is your job to convey sexual intent in the early stages of the courtship process, and this is done most effectively using non-verbal forms of communication. Today, I'm going to be describing – and demonstrating – “the look:” a way of looking at women that cultivates sexual tension without being creepy. Learn to speak with your eyes – as your mouth is better served for other things.
Jo
Episode 556: The art of surrender (how to let go)
When caught in the jaws of life, it is immensely useful to practice the art of surrender. In so many words, this is the art of waking up to the fact that your helplessness and powerlessness are nothing new. You've always ever been in the passenger seat – and that's okay. By practicing this art before you need it, you'll be better equipped to make use of it when the time comes. This is how to let g
Episode 555: AI relationships (the future of dating)
Mark my words. AI relationships will be commonplace by the end of this decade, and these agents will soon constitute the sexual marketplace's most threatening competition. Given that most relational needs are psychological, the mind does not need ontologically objective means to satisfy them. And AI agents will likely create less unnecessary suffering and relational chaos than other relational alt
Episode 554: Becoming a real woman (the Scarlett effect)
The Pinocchio story teaches us that men might have to pass through a trial to become fully human. Similarly, women might have to go through an ordeal of their own in order to attain to their full humanity. I call this the Scarlett effect, as it is exemplified in the character arc of Margaret Mitchell's Scarlett O'Hara. Only when broken by life does Scarlett become fully human. This is the process
Episode 553: The price of safety (the man or the bear)
Everything in this world has a cost, and the price of safety is civility. In order to live in society, the more powerful have to be induced to not impose upon the less powerful – an arrangement the less powerful have traditionally bought with respect. Reneging on this agreement is a form of tempting fate. In choosing between the man or the bear, women often select the option they've provoked the l
Episode 552: Don't chase (the power of attractiveness)
Almost every dating coach tells his or her clients not to chase the opposite sex. However, if both sides listened to this advice, wouldn't that lead to a stand-off in the sexual marketplace? It would, if both sides were indefinitely equal with respect to their power balance – and this is not the case. In general, the more powerful force the less powerful to act. This is the power of attractiveness
Episode 551: Why women get ghosted (they're not worth it)
Many women incorrectly believe that sleeping with a man will decrease the likelihood that he consider her as a long-term prospect. However, this is not true. In some cases, the sex is the most positive aspect of the nascent relationship. The reason why women get ghosted after sex is because they've anchored their opportunity at too high a price point. Men who don't return have decided that the wom
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15 MINS OF FAME
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15 minutes de grâce et de vérité
15 Minutes of Infamy
15 Minutes with Jesus: Christian Meditation, Guided Prayer, Bible Study, Emotional Healing, Devotional, Hear God’s Voice
