Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want
Pleasure Uprising, formerly The Desire Gap Podcast, explores why people feel disconnected from desire, pleasure, and partners, arguing that this disconnection stems from cultural and familial conditioning rather than personal flaws. Host Dr. Laura Jurgens, a somatic sex and intimacy specialist, explains that pleasure, secure attachment, and authentic desire can be learned. Each episode provides body-based tools rooted in nervous system science and attachment theory, going beyond typical relationship advice. The show aims to help listeners unlearn guilt and shame, and build genuine embodied connection and pleasure.
Episodes
The Trust Wound: Why Being Vulnerable Feels So Dangerous
I used to chase accomplishment hard, and I dismissed soft skills and people skills entirely — mostly because I had no idea how to do them. I'd put on this dissociated charm self when I met new people, which wasn't connection at all. It was a disarming move. If I could charm you first, you couldn't get to me. Underneath all of it was a deep fear of being publicly rejected.A close col
Is My Vagina Normal? Undoing Vulva and Labia Shame
Around 40, I realized I felt disgust about my own genitals. I'd been carrying middle school bullies' words about female bodies in my head for more than thirty years without ever once questioning them, and it wasn't until I started trying to reclaim my own sexuality that it smacked me in the face. It's very hard to feel pleasure in a part of your body you feel bad about.If any o
The Dependency Wound: When Care Was Never Something You Could Count On
One partner wants sex constantly and can't understand why they're being refused. The other has quietly stopped wanting it at all and feels like they're constantly being pestered. Most people assume these two have opposite problems. Often times, they don't. They have the same challenge underneath, but they are coping in different ways.We're going beyond the standard "a
Body Shame and Your Sex Life: It's Not Your Fault, and Only You Can Fix It
Body shame is pervasive, especially for women but increasingly for everyone, and it gets in the way of much more than how we feel in a swimsuit. It gets in the way of presence, pleasure, and our capacity for real connection. This is the first episode in a series I'm doing on body shame. If you've ever been so in your head about how you look that you couldn't stay present with a part
The Safety Wound: When Your Body Was Never Home
Part 2 of the Attachment Wounds & Erotic Emotions SeriesMaybe you have a tendency to intellectualize or spiritualize your experience, but not always fully feel it. Or maybe you can only really arrive in your body when something intense is happening. This episode is about how that happens, how it shapes your erotic needs and the way you show up in intimacy, and what to do about it, if you choos
Beyond Anxious and Avoidant: Here's What's Actually Driving Your Desires
That thing that turns you on but you've never quite been able to explain? Or the relationship dynamic you keep recreating? Those aren't random. And they aren't fully explained by your attachment style.This is the introduction episode for a series on attachment wounds and erotic desires. Before we get into the specific wound patterns, I'm laying the foundation — what attachment
What Makes a Great Lover? Research Shows It's These 8 Traits
If you're searching for how to be a better lover, chances are you're encountering a lot of opinions that aren't rooted in fact. Most of us absorbed a version of what makes a great lover without ever being taught it — from movies, porn, romance novels, and a culture that never corrects those images with reality. The result is a subconscious checklist that includes perfect technique,
When Parenting Your Partner is Killing Your Desire
You love your partner. You're pretty sure you're still attracted to them. So why does your body say no — and why does it feel so connected to the fact that you've reminded them three times this week to do one thing?It is connected. The slow creep of feeling like your partner's parent is one of the most consistent desire-killers I see in my practice. In this episode I'm bre
Even Light Power Play Needs a Negotiation (Here's How to Make It Sexy)
Most people who are experimenting with power play and BDSM aren't doing anything extreme. They're just two people who trust each other, trying to "spice it up." But skipping the negotiation conversation because it feels like it has to be a mood killer is a rookie move that can lead to real problems. I'm not talking bruises here, I'm talking about emotional distance, s
Joy and Pleasure After Sexual Self-Abandonment
Sexual self-abandonment is what happens when we stop having sex for ourselves. We may or may not actually stop having sex -- we might be doing it for someone else. For their desire, on their timeline, their idea of what sex should look like, while our own wants, our own pace, our own boundaries quietly went missing somewhere along the way.That's what this episode is about. How we get there —
What Two Feminist Relationship Coaches See in Heated Rivalry, with Maggie Reyes
It's Pride Month, and I am celebrating with my dear friend and fellow feminist relationship coach Maggie Reyes by doing something I've been wanting to do anyway: sit down and talk about Heated Rivalry — the show, the books, why we love them, and what they actually teach us about real relationships.Beware: There be spoilers ahead, matey. This is a fun one, and it goes deeper than fangirli
From Avoiding Sex to Loving It: Real Client Data
If you've been wondering whether your sex life can actually be different, this is the evidence.This episode is like the before and after photos you've been needing that real people get real change. We're going into details about specific goals and what actually changes when people do real, structured work on desire, intimacy, and connection. Not inspiration. Not theory. Real people,
The Last Place High Achievers Give Themselves Permission
You've solved harder problems than this. So why is this one still stuck?This episode is for the high achievers who have done real work on themselves — the therapy, the books, the hard conversations — and still can't get traction when it comes to desire, intimacy, and their closest relationships. It's not because you haven't tried hard enough. It's because you've been
Coming Home to Your Body: What Sexual Embodiment Actually Feels Like
Most people who feel disconnected from their desire, their body, or their partner aren't broken. They're just exiled — from themselves. And nobody ever taught them the way back.This episode is about what it actually feels like when you find it. The felt sense of coming home to your own body's sexuality — as a resource, a grounding force, and the place from which real confidence, rea
The Cult Dynamics Hiding Inside "Sacred Sexuality" Spaces — with Anke Richter
You don't have to join a compound to end up in a high-control group. Sometimes it starts with a neo-tantra festival. A weekend workshop. A community that feels like finally, finally, you found your people.Anke Richter is an international cult journalist, author of the bestseller Cult Trip (HarperCollins), and founder of Decult — the first cult awareness conference in Australasia. She spent si
The Men Behind "Sexual Polarity" Have a Lot to Answer For
If you've ever left a sacred sexuality workshop feeling worse about yourself than when you walked in — or heard a friend blame herself for not being "receptive enough" — this episode is for you.Sexual polarity teachings are everywhere right now. They promise to unlock your feminine energy, reignite desire, and deepen connection. Sounds great. The reality is different. They're b
Why Therapy Hasn't Fixed Your Sex Life (and What Actually Does)
You've done the work. Real work. Therapy, couples counseling, the conversations, the books. You understand yourself better than you ever have — and you still feel the same way in your body.That's not a sign you're beyond help. It's a sign you've been using the wrong tools.This episode explains why the things most people reach for — talk therapy, mindset work, even good com
Low Libido Isn't a Mindset Problem: Why You Can't Think Your Way to Desire
If you've been trying to figure out how to want sex more and nothing is working — this episode is going to explain why. And it's probably not the answer you've heard before.A lot of people struggling with low desire or low libido have already done the reading. They understand the concepts. Their body still hasn't gotten the memo. That's not a character flaw. It's the
Sexual Shame: Why We All Have It and How to Give It Back
Most people carry sexual shame so quietly and for so long that it starts to feel like a character trait rather than something that was handed to them. It isn't. Every flavor of shame — about wanting too much, too little, taking too long, not taking long enough, about your body, your history, your desires, your "low libido" — came from somewhere specific. And that somewhere is not yo
Pleasure Uprising: Why Culture Owes You an Apology
Have you ever followed the "right" advice and ended up further from yourself?That's what this episode is about — and it's also why we're now Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want. The evolution of this show mirrors what happens in my practice all the time: when you stop trying to fit yourself into the frame someone else handed you, something
Confident, not controlling: what "take charge in bed" actually means
When a woman asks a male partner to "be more assertive in bed," those words are typically landing differently than she intends — and differently than he's hearing them. This is a gendered language problem, and it's causing real confusion, frustration, and disappointment in real relationships.There is a real vocabulary mismatch about "dominance" and "assertiveness
Why you don't want the honeymoon phase back (and what's actually better)
You've heard it a thousand times: "keep the spark alive, get back to how it used to be, recreate that honeymoon phase magic." But what if that's the wrong goal entirely?Here's what nobody tells you: the honeymoon phase was a drug state — literally. A neurochemical cocktail of dopamine, norepinephrine, and nerve growth factor that made you want constantly, but didn't a
BONUS: Your Kids Are Watching: Teaching Embodied Consent (Podcasthon for Freedom Network USA)
BONUS: Teaching embodied consent at home—for your kids AND your relationship.This special Podcasthon 2026 episode benefits Freedom Network USA, the largest coalition working on human trafficking in the United States. Prevention of sexual violence starts in families— and most of us were never taught how to practice true embodied consent ourselves.In this episode, you'll learn:Why teaching cons
Touch Aversion: When your partner's touch makes your skin crawl (and what helps)
Does your partner's touch make your skin crawl? You're not broken—and this is fixable.Touch aversion is when affectionate or sexual touch from your partner feels wrong in your body— irritating, threatening, or like you need to escape. This can happen even with light, loving touch. This isn't about attraction. It's a nervous system response— and it's more common than you th
The Golden Rule of Sex (and why that Other One does NOT apply)
Treat others the way you want to be treated? Great rule. Terrible sex advice.In this episode I'm breaking down the principle that actually works — go at the pace of the slowest body in the room, with open curiosity — and why applying the wrong golden rule is one of the most common ways couples accidentally shut down desire without even realizing it.I talk about what going slow actually asks o
How to know when it's time to stop learning and start doing
Ever notice how sometimes the answer isn't more information — it's actually doing something with what you already know?Like when your car is broken, you don't actually need more information from the mechanic after a certain point. You need someone to get under the hood and DO the work. I recorded this episode because I kept seeing the same pattern: people who've been reading bo
The one thing you haven't tried for mismatched libido
You've read the books. Maybe you've done therapy. You've tried scheduled sex, date nights, "just doing it." And you're still stuck.Here's why: you've been trying to fix a layout problem with decorative solutions.In this episode, I break down the kitchen remodel analogy— why desire gaps need something very different than what most people try. You need a compr
How do I fix my desire gap when my partner won't go to therapy?
If you're ready to work on your desire gap but your partner won't go to therapy or coaching, this episode is for you.The answer to "can I actually fix this alone?" is yes — and today I break down exactly how individual work changes the entire relationship dynamic, even when only one person is ready to start.Drawing on systems theory and real client stories, we'll cover why
Is your 'low libido' actually your body setting boundaries?
Avoiding sex? Feeling the "ick" when your partner initiates? Going to bed at 8pm to dodge intimacy? You probably think you have low libido. But what if that's not what's actually happening?In this vulnerable episode, I share my own story of years spent in what I call "the messy middle"—that phase where you've stopped having sex you don't want, but you haven&
Too tired for sex? How burnout kills desire, with Dr. Amy Grimm
When you're running on empty, sex feels like just another demand on your already depleted system. But burnout isn't just affecting your work life—it's killing your desire and disconnecting you from your partner.Dr. Amy Grimm, veterinarian and certified burnout coach, joins me to explore how chronic stress impacts intimacy. We discuss what both high and low desire partners need to kn
The 1-minute body practice that unlocks what you actually want sexually
Before you can solve your desire gap, you need to know what you actually want. This super simple, somatic practice helps you stop overthinking sex, connect to your body's truth, and find the safety you need to access authentic desire. Whether you want more or less sex than your partner, self-attunement is the foundation for everything. Learn the simple 1-minute body check-in that reveals your
ADHD & Desire Gaps, Part 2: How to stay present during sex
Part 1 in this series covered how ADHD affects desire. Now let's get practical.Mid-sex, suddenly thinking about work emails and grocery lists? Your partner can tell you're not fully there . . . and it doesn't feel great to you either. You're not a bad lover, your ADHD brain is just incredibly loud.This episode covers the most common in-the-moment challenges and what to do about
Why "love should be effortless" is ruining your relationship
You've been sold a lie: that if your relationship needs work, something is fundamentally wrong. That love should just happen naturally if you're compatible. That needing help means you're failing.This myth keeps people stuck in mediocre relationships, avoiding problems, and thinking they're failures when they struggle. And it's complete bullshit.Here's the truth: We l
Why do I want sex so much (or so little)? Understanding your desires
If you're dealing with a desire discrepancy, you probably think you know what you want: more sex, or less sex. But what I've learned is this: there's always more under the surface. And that information is gold for figuring out the way forward together.If you're the higher-desire partner, what are you actually seeking when you want sex? Is it validation? Connection? Reassurance
AI and your sex life: when it helps & when it causes more harm
Thinking about asking ChatGPT about your desire gap at 2am? You're not alone—lots of people are turning to AI for relationship help. And I get it. It's free, private, and you don't have to admit to another human that you're struggling.But here's what you need to know: AI can be genuinely helpful for some things—like understanding new concepts, normalizing your experience,
The 10 biggest mistakes people make with desire discrepancies
This is THE episode to share. After 100 episodes and years of working with couples on mismatched desire, I'm breaking down the 10 mistakes that keep you stuck—from obligation sex and taking rejection personally, to making every touch sexual and believing someone is broken. These patterns make total sense, but they backfire hard. If you or someone you know is dealing with a desire gap, start h
What to do when depression & antidepressants kill your libido: real talk & my story
Depression tanks your libido. Then you finally get help with antidepressants—and your sex drive tanks even more. If this is you, you're not broken. You're dealing with a real, common side effect that nobody wants to talk about.In this episode, I break down the double whammy of depression and SSRIs on your sex life: how depression shuts down motivation (including for sex), why antidepress
When holiday stress kills desire (your sex life doesn't need to be a Hallmark movie)
If you're not tearing each other's matching pajamas off for holiday romance, you're not broken - you're normal. The holidays come with dreamy visions of mistletoe magic, but the reality is stress, family drama, overbooked schedules, and exhaustion.In this episode, we tackle:Why holiday pressure kills intimacyThe common patterns that widen desire gaps (and how to avoid them)Low-
What you're really working toward with mismatched libidos
Most people think the goal with mismatched libidos is making the lower-desire partner want more of the sex you've been having—or making the higher-desire partner want less. But that's not it. And it wouldn't work anyway. I walk through the actual goals when you're healing a desire gap. They boil down to maximizing sexual compatibility, emotional connection, and quality of commu
You DO have options: what higher-desire partners can actually do
Feeling stuck, powerless, and like your needs don't matter? This episode is for you.A listener wrote: "I feel like you only talk about what the low-libido partner needs. What about me?" He's right—I needed to address this more directly.In this episode, I break down the "power imbalance" myth, clarify what you can reasonably expect in a monogamous relationship, and tal
Why obligation sex destroys desire (and what works better)
You think having sex when you don't really want to will keep your partner happy. But obligation sex actually destroys desire—and doesn't help either of you in the long run.Research shows that when you cross your own boundaries repeatedly this way, your desire drops even further. Resentment builds. And your partner can wind up feeling even more unwanted.I break down what actually happens
Your brain is keeping you stuck in a desire gap (here's how to override it)
You know your desire discrepancy is a problem. You've known for months, maybe years. So why haven't you done anything about it? It's not laziness or lack of care—it's your brain doing exactly what evolution designed it to do. Here's how to override it. This episode helps you understand the neuroscience of "the comfortable pain trap," the real cost of waiting, and
ADHD & Desire Gaps, Part 1: High libido, low libido, or sometimes both
If you have ADHD and your sex life feels challenging, you're not broken - your brain just works differently. Maybe you have super high libido and use sex or masturbation to feel at home in your body. Or maybe your libido is low because sex hasn't been working for your body or you're stuck in your head and you don't know why or how to fix it. Or maybe you're both, depending
Getting on the Same Team, Part 2: How to talk about sex without fighting
You know you need to talk about your desire gap, but every time you try, it devolves into a fight. Someone gets defensive or spirals into shame, and you're right back where you started – or worse.In this episode, you get the exact framework for having the conversation that actually works to get you started on the road to solving your issues together. You'll learn how to check if you&apos
Getting on the Same Team, Part 1: Stop venting to friends and start solving the problem together
You're both in pain about your desire gap, but you're processing it separately – venting to friends, talking to therapists, building separate narratives about what's wrong. Meanwhile, the gap between you keeps widening. Sound familiar?Most couples approach mismatched libidos like adversaries: one person wants more sex, one wants less, and now you're fighting about whose needs m
What your body learned about love before you could talk: Healing attachment wounds with Dr. Aline LaPierre
Why does your body shut down during intimacy even when your mind wants connection? Why does rejection trigger panic that feels way bigger than the situation? The answer might have nothing to do with your current relationship—and everything to do with attachment wounds living in your nervous system.In this episode, Laura talks with Dr. Aline LaPierre, creator of NeuroAffective Touch, about how our
Desire Solutions: Signs that you're rushing penetration & what to do instead
Why does penetration feel painful, numb, or just... meh? And why does rushing to it kill desire over time?If you're experiencing pain or numbness during sex, struggling with low libido, or wondering why your partner seems less and less interested, this episode is for you. It reveals one of the most common desire killers: penetration before the body is actually ready.You'll learn how much
Desire Killers & What To Do Instead: Pouting When You Don't Get Sex
Tired of the cycle where you don't get sex, so you sulk, which makes your partner want sex even less? You're not alone – and you're definitely not getting the results you want.In this episode, we break down why pouting, withdrawal, and passive aggression after sexual rejection literally kills desire and pushes your partner further away. If you're the higher-libido partner feeli
Sex Help for Smart People Evolves to The Desire Gap Podcast: Unpacking The #1 Issue I See
This episode is all about why I'm making a change in this podcast, including why that is going to be extra great for you as a listener. In fact, you're going to get even more of my focused expertise, aimed at the issue that affects 80% of people in relationships at some point: libido mismatch. I'm keeping all the no-nonsense, research-based, caring content you know me for. What you
What is Embodiment? Why Somatics Are Key to Better Sex and Relationships
Your body remembers every touch, every rejection, every moment of connection—even when your mind has forgotten. But most of us are living from the neck up, disconnected from our bodies and the wisdom they hold about our desires, boundaries, and authentic selves.In this episode, I'm demystifying embodiment and somatic (body-based) approaches for intimacy issues. I'll break down what it ac
Is It Okay to Fantasize During Sex? A Guide to Helpful vs. Unhelpful Mental Erotica
Many people worry that fantasizing during intimacy means something is wrong with their relationship or attraction to their partner. In this episode, we explore why mental wandering during sex is completely normal and can actually enhance your experience. Learn the difference between healthy fantasy that keeps you present and embodied… versus problematic fantasy used for dissociation or avoidance.
Situationships and Friends with Benefits - What Works and What Doesn't
Are casual-sex relationships always problematic, or can they actually work for some people? In this episode, we break down the key differences between "friends with benefits" (clear boundaries) and situationships (confusing lack of clarity). Learn why catching feelings during casual sex is completely normal and healthy, when these arrangements can work, and crucial signs they're not
How to Talk to Your Partner about What Turns You OFF
We're going to get really nitty-gritty here today and give you the full details on why, when and how to tell your partner what turns you off. I'll also give you the important exceptions -- that is, when NOT to frame something as a turn-off. Plus you'll get a step-by-step guide on how to have these conversations -- and my Golden Rule for how to make them WAY less hard. Send Laura Fa
Can You Really Learn Relationship Skills Through Pleasure? The Science Says Yes
What if getting better at relationships and intimacy could actually feel amazing? In this episode, we look at the evidence to challenge the assumption that learning relationship skills has to involve painful, difficult conversations or years of heavy therapy.Drawing on science about how our brains learn best, we talk about why pleasure and play are actually superior teachers when it comes to intim
Your Partner Can Tell When You're Pretending. Here's Why That Matters for Your Sex Life.
You can say "I'm fine" and mean it completely. Your partner will still know something's off. They won't know what exactly. Their brains will fill in the "what" with the worse case thing. Research on communication tells us that 87% of what people understand from us has nothing to do with our actual words — it's tone, body language, micro-expressions. And when
Why Do I Have Low Desire? 10 Questions to Figure It Out
Even though nearly everyone will go through periods of low sexual desire in their lifetime, most people have no idea how common it is or that it's solve-able. Sadly, a lot of people feel like there is something wrong with them, or like they are broken. This episode will normalize what you're going through, plus give you 10 important questions to help you identify the root causes of your
How To Stop Avoiding Your Own Desires & Figure Out What You Really Want
Are you secretly scared of your own desires? I see this all the time in my practice – we avoid knowing what we truly want because we're terrified of disappointment. But here's the thing: your desires are there whether you acknowledge them or not, and avoiding them is just quitting in advance (there's no benefit). In this episode, I'm walking you through a powerful exercise that
When Touch Feels Off: Why It Happens & How to Fix It
Have you ever been with someone you love, but their touch just felt... wrong? Or maybe your partner has told you that YOUR touch feels off, and you have no idea what you're doing wrong?I'm diving deep into this incredibly common issue that so many couples face but rarely talk about. First, I want you to know: you're not broken, and neither is your partner. This happens to normal hum
Spontaneous vs. Scheduled Sex: How Do We Find The (Right) Time?
It can be hard for couples to find good times to connect sexually. Busy lives or different sleep schedules are just some contributing factors that make finding time for sex especially challenging. Add to that an expectation that sex is "supposed to be spontaneous" and we have a recipe for frustration. Join me for an exploration of where the whole "thing" around spontaneity come
Are We Just Too Sexually Incompatible? How to Know.
If you're asking yourself whether you and your partner are just too sexually incompatible for your relationship to work, this episode is for you. (Tip: It's also for people you know who seem to be asking themselves this all the time. Please share it and you could save someone a lot of angst). Join me as we dive into the hidden issues underneath this question. If you or someone you know i
What Really Turns Me On? With Danielle Harel, PhD
Don't miss this important (and fun) conversation with Danielle Harel, PhD, co-founder of the Somatica Institute. We talk all about discovering your deep turn-ons, how to know and ask for what you like, and why everyone's arousal pathway is different. We also flirt and laugh a lot while we demonstrate a mini-conversation to have with your partner. Grab the Somatica Institute's guide
How Faking Orgasms is Actually Harming Your Sexuality
Join me today as I walk through what's really underneath the tendency and temptation to fake orgasms. It's totally understandable but there are hidden costs to you and your relationship. You'll learn what this habit is actually all about and how to start creating the safety you need in order to have authentic pleasure, connection and communication. Send Laura Fan MailGet my free gui
Helping Men Last Longer with Caitlin V
Premature ejaculation or "PE" is one of the most widespread challenges for men and couples that include men. There's no special pill being sold on TV. And while it's not quite that easy to find good help -- we got you! There ARE solutions that work way better than trying to think about baseball or frantically masturbating before a date. Join me for a fun and important conversa
The Connection Between Self-Compassion & Great Intimacy (Plus How To Boost Yours)
It may be surprising, but how we treat ourselves is irrevocably linked to how happy we are in our connections with others. Tune in to this heartfelt episode for shortcuts on how to have a better relationship with yourself, first and foremost. You'll be amazed at how that will transform your relationships with everyone else (and your sex life!)Send Laura Fan MailGet my free guide: Get Out of Y
Pitfalls of "Polarity:" 5 Rules to Avoid Harming Your Sex Life
Applying the idea of "polarity" without full knowledge can actually undermine you and harm your sexual connection. So it's best to be informed. Some people act like the idea of "polarity" applied to relationships is some sort of universal truth, but the reality is that it's just a made-up concept that is really only helpful in. I’m going to break down what polarity ac
Kind Boundaries & Building Secure Attachment: A Guide
This episode will walk you through how to have boundaries that feel great. Good boundaries feel like a big hug for you, rather than a barbed-wire fence to control others. We'll also cover why kind boundaries are critical to creating secure attachment. Don't miss this one!Send Laura Fan MailGet my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and &quo
Giving and Receiving Oral & Troubleshooting (Plus: Why People Often Dislike 69)
Today we're talking about common challenges & solutions for giving and receiving oral sex. Plus, since this is episode 69, I'm celebrating with some cautionary tales around 69, and I'll cover why so many people just don't like it (plus what to do instead). Send Laura Fan MailGet my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "
Why Your Brain Lies to You About What's Possible in Desire and Relationships
There's a version of stuck that doesn't feel like stuck. It feels like facts. I've never been comfortable with my body. We've always had mismatched desire. This is just how I am. Your brain uses your history as evidence — and the longer the pattern, the more airtight the case seems.This episode is about that specific trap: using the past to predict what's possible, especia
Is It So Bad To Be A Tease? Redefining & Reclaiming Play
Ever wish you had more make out sessions with your partner(s)? Ever wish you felt 100% allowed to just flirt or kiss and then . . . stop? Do you ever wish you could get physical affection without feeling like you're on the hook for getting your partner to orgasm? If so, this episode is for you! It's also for anyone who notices their partner avoiding sex. And anyone who, on reflection, no
Monogamy, Non-Monogamy & Choosing Your Relationship Structure on Purpose
Both monogamy and non-monogamy are valid choices, but a lot of people default into the modern-day societal norm without even fully discussing it or considering the options that best align with us. This episode provides an introduction to the different choices for relationship structures available. Whatever you choose, I encourage you to make it an intentional decision for you and your partner or
Big Picture Know-How For Great Sex & Relationships
This episode gives you the bird's-eye view of what we all need to know and understand in order to have our best sex life and best relationships. You might want a pencil and paper for this one!Send Laura Fan MailGet my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guideMore links: Substack
Hidden Intimacy Challenges for Over-Achievers & What to Do About Them
I'm breaking down the special challenges that over-achievers tend to have with intimacy, sex, and relationships today. I'm also going to tell you exactly how to overcome those challenges. If you're a person who's afraid of failing in relationships and intimacy, or frustrated that other humans and our own bodies don't come with better manuals -- I've got you. Send Laur
Want Better Sex & Relationships? Practice This.
A lot of people want great relationships and sex lives. Not a lot of people are doing anything useful to get there. Today's episode will walk you through a super common trap most people are stuck in -- and show you how to get out of it. I will explain exactly what you need to start practicing to get what you want. Send Laura Fan MailGet my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to
Which Comes First for You: Physical or Emotional Connection?
People have different ways of getting to connection. Some people find emotional connection necessary before they feel safe to connect physically. Some people want physical intimacy in order to access emotional connection. If you are different than your partner in this, it can cause a lot of strife. This episode unpacks this common issue and helps you understand how to start solving it. Send Laura
Saying No Without Guilt in Relationships & Sex...and everywhere else too
Saying yes to things you don't want to do is not helping your relationships. It's not being "nice" either. Today's episode will help free you from guilt that keeps you from showing up authentically and saying no when you want to. Learn how and why your "no" can be a gift to others, and why it can really liberate your relationship from hidden...or not so hidden...
Kissing: Challenges, Explorations & Tips
This episode dives into all things Kissing. We'll cover basic Do's and Don'ts, and unpack common concerns about this very common activity. Many couples communicate pretty poorly if at all about their desires and preferences around kissing, which makes it very hard to get what you want. I'll help you get free of that and understand how to improve your kissing situation, whether
Christina & Brooke Share Wisdom from the Middle of the Change Process
Sometimes at the end of the journey it can be hard to even remember what it was like to be in the middle. Listen in to my interview with a wonderful couple of humans, Christina and Brooke, who are currently working with me. They openly share how they started out disconnected with lots of resentment. They discuss what they've learned so far and how they feel now mid-way through the process of
How People-Pleasing Kills Intimacy & What to Do About It
There are 3 things I really want you to know about people-pleasing and intimacy. When you're a people-pleaser, you'll often feel like you're doing things to make others happy or doing things out of obligation. You'll also often feel like you're not getting the appreciation you want, like you don't have space and time for yourself, and/or like you are just tired of peo
Three-somes & Group Sex: Fantasy, Reality & Avoiding Pitfalls
Lots of folks fantasize about threesomes or group sex, and some of us decide to try it for real. Both can be fun. This episode will guide you through how to have more fun with fantasy and how to make real-life group sex a good experience for everyone. Plus, I'll give you my best tips on how to find other partners and deal with the logistics of setting it up so everyone has a good time. If you
Paths to Sexual Confidence: Real vs. Fake Confidence or Arrogance
A lot of people want more confidence but are afraid of fake confidence and arrogance. You’re right to be wary of that. It’s not helpful to be falsely confident or arrogant in intimate relationships and sexuality. Today we're going to talk about why, how to avoid fake confidence or arrogance, and how to build real confidence and empowerment instead. We'll talk about why it's the oppo
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