Home Podcasts Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want
Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want

Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want

Laura Jurgens, Ph.D. 133 Episodes Aug 17, 2026

Pleasure Uprising, formerly The Desire Gap Podcast, explores why people feel disconnected from desire, pleasure, and partners, arguing that this disconnection stems from cultural and familial conditioning rather than personal flaws. Host Dr. Laura Jurgens, a somatic sex and intimacy specialist, explains that pleasure, secure attachment, and authentic desire can be learned. Each episode provides body-based tools rooted in nervous system science and attachment theory, going beyond typical relationship advice. The show aims to help listeners unlearn guilt and shame, and build genuine embodied connection and pleasure.

Episodes

The Trust Wound: Why Being Vulnerable Feels So Dangerous
The Trust Wound: Why Being Vulnerable Feels So Dangerous Aug 17, 2026 1734 I used to chase accomplishment hard, and I dismissed soft skills and people skills entirely — mostly because I had no idea how to do them. I'd put on this dissociated charm self when I met new people, which wasn't connection at all. It was a disarming move. If I could charm you first, you couldn't get to me. Underneath all of it was a deep fear of being publicly rejected.A close col
Is My Vagina Normal? Undoing Vulva and Labia Shame
Is My Vagina Normal? Undoing Vulva and Labia Shame Aug 10, 2026 1925 Around 40, I realized I felt disgust about my own genitals. I'd been carrying middle school bullies' words about female bodies in my head for more than thirty years without ever once questioning them, and it wasn't until I started trying to reclaim my own sexuality that it smacked me in the face. It's very hard to feel pleasure in a part of your body you feel bad about.If any o
The Dependency Wound: When Care Was Never Something You Could Count On
The Dependency Wound: When Care Was Never Something You Could Count On Aug 3, 2026 2218 One partner wants sex constantly and can't understand why they're being refused. The other has quietly stopped wanting it at all and feels like they're constantly being pestered. Most people assume these two have opposite problems. Often times, they don't. They have the same challenge underneath, but they are coping in different ways.We're going beyond the standard "a
Body Shame and Your Sex Life: It's Not Your Fault, and Only You Can Fix It
Body Shame and Your Sex Life: It's Not Your Fault, and Only You Can Fix It Jul 27, 2026 1986 Body shame is pervasive, especially for women but increasingly for everyone, and it gets in the way of much more than how we feel in a swimsuit. It gets in the way of presence, pleasure, and our capacity for real connection. This is the first episode in a series I'm doing on body shame. If you've ever been so in your head about how you look that you couldn't stay present with a part
The Safety Wound: When Your Body Was Never Home
The Safety Wound: When Your Body Was Never Home Jul 20, 2026 1168 Part 2 of the Attachment Wounds & Erotic Emotions SeriesMaybe you have a tendency to intellectualize or spiritualize your experience, but not always fully feel it. Or maybe you can only really arrive in your body when something intense is happening. This episode is about how that happens, how it shapes your erotic needs and the way you show up in intimacy, and what to do about it, if you choos
Beyond Anxious and Avoidant: Here's What's Actually Driving Your Desires
Beyond Anxious and Avoidant: Here's What's Actually Driving Your Desires Jul 13, 2026 2311 That thing that turns you on but you've never quite been able to explain? Or the relationship dynamic you keep recreating? Those aren't random. And they aren't fully explained by your attachment style.This is the introduction episode for a series on attachment wounds and erotic desires. Before we get into the specific wound patterns, I'm laying the foundation — what attachment
What Makes a Great Lover? Research Shows It's These 8 Traits
What Makes a Great Lover? Research Shows It's These 8 Traits Jul 6, 2026 1684 If you're searching for how to be a better lover, chances are you're encountering a lot of opinions that aren't rooted in fact. Most of us absorbed a version of what makes a great lover without ever being taught it — from movies, porn, romance novels, and a culture that never corrects those images with reality. The result is a subconscious checklist that includes perfect technique,
When Parenting Your Partner is Killing Your Desire
When Parenting Your Partner is Killing Your Desire Jun 29, 2026 2060 You love your partner. You're pretty sure you're still attracted to them. So why does your body say no — and why does it feel so connected to the fact that you've reminded them three times this week to do one thing?It is connected. The slow creep of feeling like your partner's parent is one of the most consistent desire-killers I see in my practice. In this episode I'm bre
Even Light Power Play Needs a Negotiation (Here's How to Make It Sexy)
Even Light Power Play Needs a Negotiation (Here's How to Make It Sexy) Jun 22, 2026 2283 Most people who are experimenting with power play and BDSM aren't doing anything extreme. They're just two people who trust each other, trying to "spice it up." But skipping the negotiation conversation because it feels like it has to be a mood killer is a rookie move that can lead to real problems. I'm not talking bruises here, I'm talking about emotional distance, s
Joy and Pleasure After Sexual Self-Abandonment
Joy and Pleasure After Sexual Self-Abandonment Jun 15, 2026 1710 Sexual self-abandonment is what happens when we stop having sex for ourselves. We may or may not actually stop having sex -- we might be doing it for someone else. For their desire, on their timeline, their idea of what sex should look like, while our own wants, our own pace, our own boundaries quietly went missing somewhere along the way.That's what this episode is about. How we get there —
What Two Feminist Relationship Coaches See in Heated Rivalry, with Maggie Reyes
What Two Feminist Relationship Coaches See in Heated Rivalry, with Maggie Reyes Jun 8, 2026 3807 It's Pride Month, and I am celebrating with my dear friend and fellow feminist relationship coach Maggie Reyes by doing something I've been wanting to do anyway: sit down and talk about Heated Rivalry — the show, the books, why we love them, and what they actually teach us about real relationships.Beware: There be spoilers ahead, matey. This is a fun one, and it goes deeper than fangirli
From Avoiding Sex to Loving It: Real Client Data
From Avoiding Sex to Loving It: Real Client Data Jun 1, 2026 2168 If you've been wondering whether your sex life can actually be different, this is the evidence.This episode is like the before and after photos you've been needing that real people get real change. We're going into details about specific goals and what actually changes when people do real, structured work on desire, intimacy, and connection. Not inspiration. Not theory. Real people,

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