Unf*ck Your Relationships
Unf*ck Your Relationships is a podcast hosted by Michelle Panning, an intimacy alchemist and relationship coach. The show focuses on helping women break free from cycles of attracting emotionally unavailable men and building fulfilling love lives. Michelle shares her personal journey of healing and self-work, offering insights and advice on dating, relationships, and self-worth. The podcast aims to empower listeners to prioritize themselves and create meaningful connections.
Episodes
The End of an Era... (and a little life update)
WORK WITH MICHELLE FOR THE LAST AND FINAL TIME INSIDE THE CONNECTED WOMAN:Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN for the LAST AND FINAL LIVE round. A course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-womanCONNECT WITH MICHELLE:Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanningWebsite: http:
Episode 246: I Ignored My Own Advice… and It Landed Me in Hospital
WORK WITH MICHELLE:Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-womanSign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run ov
Episode 245: You're Not In Love With Him. You're In Love With His Potential.
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m unpacking why so many women fall in love with potential instead of the person actually in front of them. You didn’t fall for who he was, you fell for who you believed he could become. And then you spent months or years trying to close the gap between the two, investing in the version of him you hoped would eventually show up.We talk about the fixer
Episode 244: You're Not Stuck. You're Loyal To The Wrong Version Of Yourself.
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m talking about the identity you have to grieve before you can actually have the relationship you say you want. So many self-aware women spend years healing, learning their patterns, and understanding their wounds… yet still find themselves repeating the same dynamics. What if the issue isn’t that you haven’t healed enough, but that part of you is st
Episode 243: Why You're Still Single When You've Done All The Work
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I explain the difference between high standards and high walls and why so many self-aware women end up confusing the two. You’ve done the work, you know your worth and you refuse to settle. But if every potential relationship keeps ending the same way, or you find yourself screening men out before anything really begins, it might not be discernment. It
Episode 242: The Cost of Being The Girl Who Has It All Together - An Interview With Bia Zutis
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m joined by one of my clients, Bia Zutis to talk about the perfectionism-to-self-worth journey so many high-functioning women quietly find themselves on. From the outside she looked successful, self-aware, and like she had everything handled. But underneath that? She was exhausted from performing, holding herself to impossible standards, and feeling
Episode 241: Why You Can’t Let Go (Even When It’s Hurting You)
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m unpacking trauma bonds, why smart, self-aware women stay in relationships that are hurting them, and why leaving can feel terrifying even when you know it’s unhealthy. This isn’t about weakness or lack of awareness, it’s about nervous system conditioning and intermittent reinforcement keeping you hooked. We talk about why intensity gets mistaken fo
Episode 240: Healthy vs Unhealthy Needs in a Relationship
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m breaking down the difference between healthy needs and unhealthy needs in love. Most couples aren’t fighting about the dishes or the sex or the late nights at work, they’re fighting to feel respected, safe, valued, and prioritised. We’re talking about respect, emotional safety, consistency, accountability, affection, and repair and how those differ
Episode 239: 11 Ways Low Self-Esteem Ruins Relationships
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m breaking down 11 ways low self-esteem quietly sabotages intimacy. It doesn’t just look like insecurity, it hides behind being chill, low-maintenance, and “the bigger person.” If you’re smart, self-aware, and still stuck in the same patterns, this one will be a mirror.We’re talking about conflict avoidance, over-giving, suppressing needs, reassuranc
Episode 238: 9 Ways Anxious Attachment Is Sabotaging Your Relationship (And You’re Letting It)
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships I’m breaking down nine ways anxious attachment quietly sabotages intimacy, even when you’re self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and “doing the work.” This episode is for the woman who knows she’s anxious, she’s read the books, can articulate her wounds and understands her triggers. But her relationships still end the same way. This isn’t about understa
Episode 237: How to Grow From a Girl to a WOMAN
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships I break down the pattern I see in so many smart, capable women who look like they have their life together on the outside, but keep self-sabotaging in love, money, habits, and commitment. We’re talking about the psychology of the eternal girl and why staying in potential feels safer than choosing realityI unpack how this shows up in your day-to-day life
Episode 236: The Beginner’s Guide to Shadow Work
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I break down what shadow work actually is, why so many self-aware women still feel stuck after years of healing, and how hidden parts of you quietly run your relationships, boundaries, and self-worth.Shadow work isn’t about fixing yourself, it’s about understanding the parts of you that learned to people please, shut down, over-explain, or self-abandon
Episode 235: How to Heal an Abandonment Wound
In this episode of Unfck Your* Relationships*, I break down what an abandonment wound actually is, why most women aren’t truly healing it, and how it keeps running the show in relationships, even when you’re self-aware, educated, and have “done the work.” An abandonment wound isn’t about being needy or dramatic. It’s a nervous system injury formed through inconsistency, emotional unpredictability,
Episode 234: What Actually Happens When an Avoidant Realises They’ve Lost You
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, I break down what actually happens when an avoidant realises they’ve lost you and why this moment is so often misunderstood and romanticised. Avoidants don’t experience breakups the same way anxious or secure people do. Instead of immediate grief, they often feel relief as the fear of closeness shuts off. It’s only later when distractions stop working t
Episode 233: 11 Habits That INSTANTLY Make You Hotter (that have nothing to do with looks)
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I break down why attraction has very little to do with how you look and everything to do with how you move, respond, and relate to yourself.The most magnetic women aren’t performing for attention… they’re grounded, regulated, and deeply self-trusting.I’m sharing the 11 habits that instantly make you more attractive not in a “pick me” way, but in a secur
Episode 232: If You Want 2026 to Be Different, Listen to This
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I break down the 26 lessons that quietly reshaped how I live, love, work, and stay devoted to myself. This isn’t about motivation or becoming someone new it’s about the standards, discipline, and self trust required to actually create a different year. These lessons span self trust, shadow work, relationships, embodiment, and devotion to the long game a
Episode 231: Before You Enter 2026, You Need to Let This Version of You Go
In this final episode of 2025 Unf*ck Your Relationships, I dive into why you can’t rush into goals, manifestations, or a “new version” of yourself without first allowing this year to fully complete. Before we talk about what’s next, we need to talk about what’s done because unfinished emotional cycles will follow you into the new year if you don’t consciously close them. Here’s what I unpack in th
EP 230: You Haven’t Lost Your Spark
EP 230: You Haven’t Lost Your Spark If you’ve been moving through life on autopilot, feeling flat, numb, or disconnected from yourself this episode is for you. Not because something is “wrong” with you… but because your nervous system is done carrying what was never meant to be permanent. Burnout isn’t a personality flaw. Losing your spark isn’t a failure. And this season isn’t here to punish you
EP 229: How to Make 2026 Your MOST Successful Year Yet
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, we’re building the blueprint for your most grounded, self-led, and successful year ever. Not because the calendar magically fixes your life - but because you decide to show up as the woman who no longer drags old chaos into her new chapter.2026 is a blank slate. A reset. A clean energetic line in the sand. And the version of you who thrives next year i
EP 228: How to Enter Your DARK FEMININE ERA
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships*, we’re stepping into the most misunderstood and most misused part of feminine energy: the dark feminine. Not the TikTok version. Not the “manipulate him back” bullshit. The real dark feminine. The part of you that is bold, grounded, self-protective, deeply self-respecting, and absolutely unwilling to keep abandoning herself for crumbs.Most women are liv
EP 227: How to Level Up So Fast It Feels Illegal
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, we’re diving into the identity level shifts required to level up so quickly it almost feels wrong. The truth? You’re not stuck because of timing, luck, or the men you date. You’re stuck because your nervous system is still wired for chaos, crumbs, and chasing and you keep choosing what’s familiar over what’s actually good for you.I break down the real r
Episode 226: If your friends do any of these things, cut them out immediately
Because here’s the reality:In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships*, we’re going deep into the truth about female friendships, support, and the energetics behind the women you keep around you.You cannot build a powerful life while surrounding yourself with women who are secretly competing with you, resenting you, or only “supportive” when you’re not doing better than them.And yet so many women
Episode: 225 How to RAISE YOUR STANDARDS and UPGRADE YOUR LIFE
WORK WITH MICHELLE: Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over
Episode 224: Life Lessons from a Recovering People Pleaser
Okay, babe… let's talk about people pleasing, because this episode is me calling myself (and you) all the way out. For years, I thought being the "chill, supportive, easygoing" partner made me good. But in reality? I was just betraying myself over and over. I wasn't setting boundaries, I was building walls and then wondering why everything exploded when I finally snapped. I share the story of how
Episode 223: Stop Calling It Love…You're Just Abandoning Yourself
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I'm calling BS on the fluffy, feel-good version of "self-love." Because let's be real… bubble baths and affirmations don't fix years of self-abandonment. I get raw about my own story of being the "ultimate caretaker", the one holding everything together, doing the emotional labor, and calling it love. Spoiler alert: it wasn't love, it was survival. And
Episode 222: How to Stop the Emotional Whiplash of Fearful Avoidance
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, I dive into the fearful avoidant attachment style sometimes called anxious avoidant and the blind spots that come with it. This was once my dominant attachment style, and even now I can see how it still pops up in relationships. Unlike anxious or dismissive avoidants, the fearful avoidant flips between hyper-activation (all emotion, seeking closeness, r
Episode 221: Why Logic Won't Save You in Love
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, I'm breaking down the blind spots of the dismissive avoidant attachment style. If you've ever felt confused about why you (or your partner) shut down, withdraw, or over-rely on logic in relationships, this episode will give you clarity and a new way forward. Here's what I dive into: Logic vs. Love – Why relying on logic and analysis won't create real i
Episode 220: The Hidden Patterns Keeping You Stuck in Love
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I dig into the blind spots of anxious attachment, the hidden patterns that keep you stuck in the same cycles, even when you think you've "done the work." I explain why reflection alone isn't enough, because you can only reflect on what you're consciously aware of. Blind spots live in the shadows the parts of yourself you deny, repress, or don't even kno
Episode 219: The Real Reason Anxious + Avoidant Relationships NEVER Work (Until You Do This)
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I dive into one of the most common yet challenging dynamics I see: the anxious–avoidant relationship. Instead of just giving surface-level advice like "communicate better" or "give each other more space," I explore how shadow work is the real key to creating lasting change. I share some of my own experiences with anxiety, avoidance, and love and why I r
Ep 218: Mirror, Mirror: A Conversation About Call-Outs with Connected Woman Alum Heather Rotan
Today's conversation is all about the OWN IT part of CLOCK IT, OWN IT, CLEAN IT UP…and who better to share than the accountability queen herself, my amazing client Heather! Heather is a mother of three, a healthcare executive, and a self-proclaimed attention whore who loves deeply, leads fiercely, and never backs down from a challenge…and she proved that when she finally (after THREE FUCKING YEARS
Ep 217: Self-Abandonment in Relationships: How to Stop Betraying Yourself
Not to break your entire self-image or whatever, but abandoning all your needs and desires for the sake of your partner actually doesn't make you a good person. Sorry not sorry. Sure, maybe it feels good to oh-so-f*cking-selflessly lay your needs down to fulfill your partner's instead. To be the "good girl." The "cool girl." To play the hero in his story. Right up until resentment starts burning s
Ep 216: 10 Brutal Truths About Anxious Attachment (This Will Piss You Off)
Warning: today's episode might just piss you off. It's to be expected, all right? I am called the Trigger Queen, after all. (If you're new here, just know: it's all said with love.) Buckle up, because today, I've got some fucking brutal truth bombs to drop about anxious attachment. If you're someone who anxiously attaches, at least a couple of these are probably going to make you fucking furious.
Ep 215: Trust the Process - A Conversation with Client Rochelle Powell
Welcome to a super special episode, friends: today, we have the beautiful Rochelle Powell here with us! Rochelle is one of my incredible clients, and I've been working with her for a few years now. She is an ever-evolving woman determined to experience all aspects of herself by fiercely leaning into her edges and exploring what it truly means to come home to herself. She moves through life with cu
Ep 214: Become Okay With Being Alone
If you identify as a strong, independent woman who is 100% fine being alone, this one is for you… Because I'm calling bullshit. Being single is not the same thing as being alone. And sure, maybe you're fine being single…but what do you fill that gap with? TV? Social media scrolling? Going out with friends? Swiping on the apps until your weekend is booked up? "Wait, you want me to sit there, alone,
Ep 213: Solo Travel, Self-Talk, and Skydiving: A Fearless Conversation with Connected Woman Alum Dily
Let's be honest: most people will sit down, listen to a podcast, give their best "OMG! So true, bestie!" and then promptly move the fuck on with their lives. My guest today is NOT one of those people. My dear friend Dily is here to share about her Connected Woman journey, and let me tell you…she is an amazing example of the kind of dedication and courage self-development work actually takes. Dily
Ep 212: 20 Non-Negotiables You Need to Have in a Relationship
What are your non-negotiables for a relationship? How many can you list? Ten? Five? Three? Can you name even ONE must-have for the relationship you long for, or is it just…anything goes? It is 2025, bitch. We are not fucking around with ANYTHING GOES around here. You NEED non-negotiables. You NEED things that are an immediate HELL NO and things that are an immediate FUCK YES. Otherwise, you're goi
Ep 211: How To ACTUALLY Become Secure
There is so much fluff out there when it comes to what it takes to become a secure woman that it can get you SO fucking mixed up. Luckily, I'm not here to bullshit you. Becoming secure takes fucking WORK. It's hard. It's scary. It's vulnerable. And it's all so fucking worth it. There are four shifts I made in order to become secure–and I'm sharing them with you today. They're not fluff. They're no
Ep 210: 10 Tiny Micro-Habits to Increase Your Feminine Energy
If you think the feminine is all frilly dresses, keeping house, and speaking softly… You've fallen for the simplified caricature of feminine energy the internet likes to latch on to. That is NOT the fucking feminine…though it can be one expression of it. If you've been performing what you THINK the feminine is, and you're just finding out now, I've got just the thing for you. We're going to get yo
Ep 209: When the Wounds Close: A Conversation with Retreat Alum Abigail Elizabeth
We know her, we love her, and we are THRILLED to have her back…everyone please welcome Abigail Elizabeth, business owner, badass mother of two, and an overall gem of a human being. Abigail was on just a few months ago to chat about her experience doing the work and attending my retreats, and now she's back to tell us how her life has continued to shift and change since. It can be easy to start ou
Ep 208: You Have Standards for Your Whole Life… So Why Are You Settling in Dating?
Your skincare routine? Precise. Your career? Thriving. Your friendships? Healthy. Your wardrobe? Curated. Your dating life? FUCKED. What tf happened there, exactly? You have top-notch standards for every single area of your life…but for some reason, you're tolerating all kinds of bullshit when it comes to dating. Not anymore. Sit down, strap in, and get ready to set—and HOLD—some actual fucking st
Ep 207: AI, Authenticity, and Emotional Manipulation in Modern Dating
Let me see if I've got this right: You're chatting with this man, and he's everything you've ever dreamed of. His answers are thought-provoking and emotionally intelligent. He asks questions back. He always has the perfect response…like, always. Every fucking time. And that's not even a little suspicious to you? Odds are, you haven't stumbled upon your soulmate, babe—you've just fallen in love wi
Ep 206: Why Fantasizing Your Way Through Dating is F*cking You Over
So…I did the thing. I am officially back on the dating apps. That's right, my loves—I'm back in the dating trenches. All the things you're going through? I'm going through them right along with you. (I figured if I'm releasing a program about dating, it's only fair that I do it alongside you, right?) But as long as I'm here, I'm going to talk about some of the reasons why you might not be having m
Ep 205: 5 Signs YOU are the Red Flag
If you're racking your brain trying to figure out why you can't seem to find "the one" for you…sit down a sec. I think I might've solved it. So. Your relationships keep failing. You keep attracting emotionally unavailable men. You can't find someone willing to commit. You can't track down a secure man. Your dating woes seem to have no fucking end. Now, hear me out on this one… It sounds to me like
Ep 204: Secure as F*ck: 5 Dating Don'ts Secure Women NEVER Do
At the very beginning of this year, I went through a pretty devastating breakup. It's been nearly seven months now, and I haven't dated at all since then. Not just because I wasn't going to jump right on the apps after such a difficult breakup—a girl's gotta process, after all—but because I just didn't have a desire to date. Now, that's starting to change. I can feel myself on the verge of being r
Ep 203: Behold, a Man! - A Conversation with Somatic Practitioner Jack Bohannan
Unf*ck Your Relationship may be for the girlies (mostly) but this one? This one's for the boys. Okay, real talk, this podcast is for everyone. (Love you all, proud of you for being here, XOXO.) But today, we are going to be having some guy talk…because we have an actual guy on the podcast. That's right: the elusive man has appeared on Unf*ck Your Relationships. Everyone please welcome Jack Bohanna
Ep 202: Wrestling for Control: A Discussion With "The Experience" Member Kellie Irene
I've said it before, I'll say it again, I'll say it every fucking time I have a guest on the podcast: I am so fucking excited to introduce you all to one of my beautiful clients, Kellie Irene! Kellie has done Awakening Her, The Experience, and my retreats, so she's been in my world for a while. She absolutely embodies main character energy. She's bold, courageous, vivacious…I love being around her
Ep 201: Why You Feel Like You're Too Much and Not Enough — At the Same Time
"I'm too needy. I ask for too much. I'm too emotional." "I'm not strong enough. I'm not confident enough. I'm not cruisy enough." Too much AND not enough…all at the same time? Yes, it is possible…and no, you're not the only one. I see this shit every day in my work. Women who feel simultaneously like they are too much, too needy, too difficult, while also feeling like they aren't enough to be chos
Ep 200: Truth or Trigger: Celebrating 200 Episodes of UFYR by Answering YOUR Relationship Questions!
I can't believe I'm about to say this (well, I actually can) but… WELCOME TO THE 200TH EPISODE OF UNF*CK YOUR RELATIONSHIPS! Fuuuck, has this been a JOURNEY. Most podcasts don't even break double digits, let alone triple, let alone hit fucking 200. Can I just take a second to brag on myself? Way to go, Michelle. I'm so proud of you. And I'm proud of YOU, my loves; every single one of you that has
Ep 199: Embodiment is Essential. Here's Why
So. Let's review. You're a high-achieving, self-aware woman. You've clocked your patterns and traced them back to their cause. You've been in therapy. You've read the books. You've listened to the podcasts. You've done breathwork, meditation, EFT tapping, all the things… And you haven't made any real fucking progress. Why? Why have you done all the things, but aren't getting "better?" Because mind
Ep 198: Sweet Surrender: A Conversation with Embodiment Coach Chené O'Brien
When I tell you this particular guest of mine is one of the most joyous, radiant, embodied women that I know…I hope you know that I fucking mean it. And I'm not just saying it because she's my client. Meet Chené O'Brien: a client of mine, an embodiment coach, and the owner of the hottest f*cking accent ever. Chené's healing journey started from a place of constant self-abandonment…but she clocked
Ep 197: Why You Keep Losing Yourself in Relationships (and What to Do About It)
It all happens so fast. One minute you're living your best life. You're hitting the gym. You're journaling. You're doing your embodiment practices. You're going out with your friends. You're going on solo dates. You have hobbies that you love… And then you meet someone. It is astonishing how QUICKLY I've seen women go from their glow-up era to "Wait, did I say the right thing? Did I mess up? Oh, h
Ep 196: Why You're Scared of Healthy Love (Even Though You Swear That's What You Want)
Everybody talks about wanting a man who COMMUNICATES, who's HONEST, who CHOOSES YOU wholeheartedly… Until one actually shows up. And you go running like your f*cking ass is on fire. If you grew up without a secure attachment, your brain is wired to read insecurity as desirable. Which means your brain basically can't tell the difference between a bear attack and a man telling you he really, really
Ep 195: You're Not Broken, You're Healing: Why Becoming The Connected Woman Isn't Linear
If you've ever been ugly crying into your pillow, your chest aching like someone f*cking ripped your heart out, and said to yourself, "What the FUCK? I should be over this by now!" …Then this episode is for you, babe. Welcome to the fucking club. I've worked with hundreds of women, and all of us—including me—have experienced a similar feeling while going through a breakup: the feeling that we're t
Ep 194: Do You Actually Want Him—or Does He Just Trigger Your Daddy Wound?
Do you ACTUALLY want him… Or does he just trigger your daddy wound? Ouch, right? But we really need to talk about it. I was the QUEEN of daddy issues once upon a time. So trust me when I say I get exactly how addictive this pattern can be…and how f*cking fast we need to clock it, own it, and clean it tf up. If you're always dating the guy who's hot and cold with you, the guy who's there one secon
Ep 193: Performative Feminine: The Manipulative Side of Softness
This one's going to sting, loves… But we need to talk about feminine energy. Specifically, we need to talk about performative feminine energy. We're seeing a huge resurgence in embracing feminine energy…and that's fucking amazing. We love to see it. But with that resurgence, I'm also seeing an upswing in people mistaking performative femininity for actual feminine embodiment. And if you don't know
Ep 192: You're Not 'Too Much'... You're Just Dating the Wrong Men
"You're too much." "You're too emotional." "Your standards are too high." "You're too picky." "You're asking for too much." RED LIGHT, babe. Hold tf up. Listen to me very, very, very closely. You are not too much. "But Michelle, they said—" I don't give a shit. "But Michelle, I asked for—" Did I fucking ask? You are not too much. Period. Done. End of conversation. And if people keep telling you y
Ep 191: Why You're Addicted to the Wrong Men (and How to Break the Cycle)
I hope you have a mirror on hand, babe…because you're about to take a good, long, hard look at yourself in it. Here's the thing: if you feel like you're always attracting the same emotionally unavailable men, I have good news and bad news. The good news? It's not bad luck—you're not just shit at picking men. The bad news? It's actually wired into you to want these kinds of men. "Wait, that sounds
Ep 190: How I Got Roasted by Dr. Gabor Maté
Buckle up and grab the burn cream, everyone… This is the story of how I got f*cking ROASTED by Dr. Gabor Maté. As most of you know, I recently went through a breakup, and there are a lot of f*cking complicated (and even "contrary") emotions that come with that. So when I got to go and hear Dr. Gabor Maté speak—and then got the incredible opportunity to ask a question—I asked him how to navigate th
Ep 189: Sparks Start Fires, Not Relationships: A Conversation with Relationship Coach Sabrina Zohar
So—we've talked before about how butterflies in the stomach, not being able to eat, etc. are actually signs of some fucking MAJOR dysregulation, not being in love… But what happens when you DO start avoiding that feeling…and you end up dating someone who's boring as batshit? On one hand, it is super fucking easy to mistake "safe" for "boring" when you're used to dating in dysregulation. But on the
Ep 188: Walk Away Energy: The Ultimate Power Move in Love, Business & Life
I got introduced to a new phrase (but not a new idea) by a recent Chappell Roan interview: Walk Away Energy. When asked how she stays so chill despite all her success, Chappell Roan said it was because she has "walk away energy." And I absolutely had to sit down and talk about that. "Walk away energy" is similar to the detachment idea we were talking about here recently. It's the idea that you are
Ep 187: How to Recognize YOUR Needs: A Conversation With Abigail Elizabeth
It is truly so exciting to watch one of your clients blossom…and my guest this week, Abigail, is a perfect example. Just a short while ago, she was living in her spare bedroom, trying to "fix" herself for the sake of other people…and now, I've witnessed this woman blossom and come into her own as she embodies what it means to be a high-value woman. Too many of you think that these kinds of transfo
Ep 186: The "Let Them" Theory... But Make It Shadow Work
Here's what to do if you feel someone pulling away from you. Ready? Let them. I'm serious as f*ck. If someone starts to pull away from you, if someone wants to break up, if someone refuses to meet your standards, if someone won't pick their shit up off the floor even when you've asked a hundred times… Just let them. The "Let Them" theory, coined by Mel Robbins, is literally that simple. People are
Ep 185: How to Detach & Stop Obsessing Over Him
When you hear "detachment," what do you think it means? If your mind went straight to the idea of apathy, not caring what happens or what you're doing, etcetera…you're not the only one. But you're also wrong. Detachment isn't apathy. Detachment is power. And when you master detachment…it's going to transform your whole motherf*cking life. Here are some of the things you need to detach from—and h
Ep 184: Healing from Heartbreak: BTS of My Breakup
Well. We broke up. You probably got that from the title. But in case you were wondering…no, it's not clickbait. My partner Drew and I have decided to split up. It's sad. And right. And so, so hard. I'm grieving. I'm excited. I'm struggling. I'm hopeful. There is such duality in breakups, no matter how healthy or unhealthy the relationship might have been…and navigating them in a regulated, healt
Ep 183: Let's Talk CONFIDENCE feat. Caitlin Hosking
Two words: Pretty. Privilege. It's thrown in the faces of people who happen to be conventionally attractive to imply that they have no right to complain about their struggles, particularly if they struggle with confidence. "Well, you have the perfect body, so you can't be insecure." "Well, you're pretty, so what do you have to feel bad about?" You know what's really not cute? Invalidating the expe
Ep 182: Perfectionism is Killing Your Love Life
Trying to be the perfect woman is killing your love life. I mean it—this little perfectionism thing you've got going on? It's not protecting you from anything, babe—it's actually keeping you stuck in the same patterns you've been playing out for your whole dating life. Perfectionism is not a protector—it's a prison. And until you get up the courage to show up as the person you actually are, not wh
Ep 181: How to Become the Main Character in Your Love Life
Here's an exciting little secret for you… Did you know that you've been cast as the MAIN CHARACTER in your love life? In fact, you're not just the main character. You're the screenwriter. The casting director. The costume designer. The credits have YOUR name all over them, babe… So why are you still acting like the f*cking side character? Too many of you are out here acting like you have to apolog
Ep 180: The Ultimate Glow-Up: How to Become UNRECOGNIZABLE in 2025
It's 2025. I don't know about you, but I'm so fucking excited it's a new year—and I don't plan to finish it as the same person I was when it started. I want to be UNRECOGNIZABLE by 2026…and I want to help you get there, too. I want this year to be your ultimate fucking glow-up. But first, we need to go over some pretty crucial perspective shifts. You CAN become the most confident, iconic, badass
Ep 179: 24 Lessons for 2024: A Wrap-Up for the Anxiously Attached
This one's for the anxiously attached girlies…and everyone, honestly, because there's some fucking gems in here. But if you have an anxious attachment style, these lessons go double for you, mmkay? Anxious attachment can feel like a life sentence. But the truth is, your attachment style IS something you can heal…but you have to start taking steps toward security. In today's episode, we're going to
Ep 178: How to Know When to Break Up
It's a question as old as relationships themselves... "How do I know when it's time to break up?" We've all asked ourselves this question one time or another...but almost no one really knows the answer. It's not easy to look at a relationship and decide whether it's fixable or totally f*cked. But there are some symptoms that will start to pop up when things have taken a turn for the worse...and so
Ep 177: How to be the Dream Girl in Your Love Life in 2025
In 2025, we're not settling for f*cking crumbs anymore, babe. In 2025, it's time to become the center of your own love life; to become That Girl. That Bitch. The Dream Girl. Whatever you want to call her, she's yours for the taking—if you can actually get off your ass and do the work to become her. No more putting everyone else's needs over yours. No more leading with your insecurities…or masking
Ep 176: Are You Really Grieving Him...Or Who You Wish He'd Been?
"He was everything I've ever wanted. How am I supposed to get over him?" Uh…you mean the guy you dated for two weeks, tops? Yeah…we need to chat about this, babe. Look, I'm not going to tell you that the timeframe of a relationship determines its emotional impact. It doesn't. What I AM going to tell you (because I've had to tell myself a million fucking times over) is that there's no way in hell y
Ep 175: Why You Are So Critical of Your Partner (Hint: It's Not What You Think)
Today's episode is inspired by a question a client recently put forward… And the answer is not going to be easy for most of you to hear. This client said that she always gives people the benefit of the doubt, trying to offer the most generous assumptions when it comes to their behavior…but when it comes to her partner, she immediately thinks—and says—the worst about his behavior. Why does that hap
Ep 174: The Pursuit of Perfection: What We Lose When We Refuse to be Real
I have a complicated relationship with vulnerability. When I first started this work, I couldn't even say the f*cking WORD. And even though I've gotten so much better about it…it's still terrifying. I don't want people to see me as less than perfect. I don't want them to see me struggle. Because what if they see I'm not perfect, that I don't have it all together, and I lose my credibility? What if
Ep 173: Win, Lose, or Draw: When Conflict Cancels out Connection
When you're fighting to win the argument, not to reconnect with your partner…everyone loses. We all looove winning an argument…at first. It feels f*cking great to get the last word. The high of nailing that last comeback is addicting… And so, so fleeting. It feels good in the moment to "win"...but the thing is, you haven't actually "won." In fact, odds are good that both your partner AND you have
Ep 172: How the Body Speaks: A Conversation With Somatic Practitioner Steph Normoyle
I am on the edge of my fucking seat today about getting to introduce you to my newest guest: one of my OG clients from all the way back in Connected Woman circa 2020, Steph Normoyle! Steph Normoyle is a somatic practitioner and the founder of Club Soma, a wellness space for women seeking true embodied transformation—without the bullshit. As a somatic practitioner, she helps women connect with thei
Ep 171: 7 Myths About Anxious Attachment
People have some intense fucking beliefs surrounding anxious attachment… "Anxious attachers are unstable." "Anxious attachers are just way too fucking emotional." "My anxious attachment means I'll never have a relationship—I don't deserve it." No, no, and fuuuucking no. Anxious attachment causes some wild behaviour…but none of it makes you unworthy of love. And like all behaviours, we can find way
Ep 170: Are You Secretly Controlling in Your Relationship? Uncover the Truth About Covert vs. Overt Control
Here's a question for you: Are you a controlling partner? If your gut reaction was "FUCK no! I'm not controlling at all!" or "Not a chance, my partner's the controlling one!" or some other fucking enraged denial… Let me change the question. Have you ever cancelled plans with your friends to meet up with the guy you've been on a couple dates with? Have you ever apologized first in a fight…even if y
Ep 169: How Your Inner Child Is Ruining Your Love Life
I'm going to be honest… People love to joke about something being healing to their inner child. But if you're not ACTUALLY doing the work to heal your inner child, well… Bad news. She's actually going to f*ck up your love life for the foreseeable future. I'm not saying this to put you down—it's just the truth. If your inner child is acting up, it's going to ruin your ability to have a secure, stab
Ep 168: Your Ego is Cockblocking Your Love Life
It's no secret that shadow work is the most popular girl in school when it comes to the personal development world. It's trendy. It's everywhere. Everyone's talking about it, including me… But before you get into shadow work, you have to spend some time with her less sexy sister. Everyone, say hello to ego work…and say goodbye to your aversion to vulnerability. Because without vulnerability, you
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