Lotsa Pasta
Lotsa Pasta is a horror storytelling podcast focused on things that go bump in the night. It reads creepy online fiction from sources such as CreepyPasta, NoSleep, Unsettling Stories, Not Hot but Spicy, and Stories to Read Alone at Night. A colorful cast of characters joins to explore the unlimited world of scary stories and internet horror. The show is hosted by Captain Death.
Episodes
Episode Three Hundred Twenty-Two: Tribute Part Two
What happens when you take a beloved cult classic series of books, do none of the research work involved, and ape the shit out of the fanbase? I kid, but not really. Tribute to Terror is born out of a love and deep respect mixed admiration for Alvin Schwartz and Stephen Gammell’s Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark series from the late 90’s. Tribute is just as it says: a love-letter to what we once
Episode Three Hundred Twenty-One: Tribute Part One
What happens when you take a beloved cult classic series of books, do none of the research work involved, and ape the shit out of the fanbase? I kid, but not really. Tribute to Terror is born out of a love and deep respect mixed admiration for Alvin Schwartz and Stephen Gammell’s Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark series from the late 90’s. Tribute is just as it says: a love-letter to what we once
Episode Three Hundred Twenty: The Grilled Cheese Episode
Who the hell is that creeping around the corners of my isolated house in the middle of the night? Cannibal Siren? Is that you? No, it’s just my one-eyed cat. That’s not a joke, my one-eyed cat really does peer at me from around corners. She’s missing her left eye, so it’s pretty funny to see her peering at me from right-hand side walls. It’s even funnier when it’s on the left-side cause then I’m l
Episode Three Hundred Nineteen: Mother Beckons Part Five
WELL, we’re here kids. Step out. Stretch your legs. Get yourself some fresh air. Don’t worry, it’s not real- it’s all just what Mother wants you to see and what she wants you to feel. Don’t worry, she’ll take care of you. She’ll hide you from the evil and sinful and treacherous that seek to do you harm, that value your life no more than a number or a tortilla chip. So useless, so brittle, so easy
Episode Three Hundred Eighteen: Mother Beckons Part Four
Don’t make me turn this car around, kids… we’ve still got some ways to go. Where are we going? I’m not quite sure, yet. We’ll figure out when we get there, and I promise the answer is DEFINITELY not ‘the friends we made along the way.’ If that were the case, we’d be kinda screwed, right? Lest we ignore the literal Nazis, the Neo-Nazis, Black Jesus, Drug Addicts, Uncle Adolf, and maniacs we’ve met
Episode Three Hundred Seventeen: Mother Beckons Part Three
Grab my things, child - we’re hitting the road. And by hitting the road I mean, we’re going places. You + Me = Going Places, kid! The places we’re going, you ask? Nowhere good. No, that’s literally what it’s called, “Nowhere Good, PA.” Cause everyone knows only creepy shit happens in Pennsylvania (it’s where this is recorded, after all). On today’s episode we see the end of some controversial narr
Episode Three Hundred Sixteen: Mother Beckons Part Two
Have we learned anything today, kids? No? What do you mean NO? Listen to MOTHER, y’all - she’s trying to speak to you! You just have to open yourself up to her …And do a TON of LSD. What could POSSIBLY go wrong? The correct answer is thus: Yes, we’ve learned a lot, whether we liked it or not. When we read chapters 1-20(plus author asides) we laid down the building blocks to which this story will g
Episode Three Hundred Fifteen: Mother Beckons Part One
Come unto these Yellow Sands, indeed, my children. And by come I mean cum cause we’re gonna be talking magical space pussies, LSD binges, and Japanese train videos on today’s episode. And who is that with me? You know him, you love him, okay, maybe you only tolerate him: it’s WhereAmi? And needless to say, neither of us know where the hell we are. There’s a lot of theories going around right now t
Episode Three Hundred Fourteen: In Memorium: Rimurapa Whakamataku
I loved all these stories today. Man, what an episode. Is every episode with Kitty AKA Torus Filth a gold standard? Why, yes, yes they are: CAN CONFIRM. My #1 FAN brings the energy and the stories match it. We’re here for a classic episode where we find a bunch of random stories on NoSleep and we dive in balls-deep. But that’s not all, this episode is also dedicated to the lovely fur babies we los
Episode Three Hundred Thirteen: Things That Goosebump in the Night 4
Let me guess… You expected someone or something else for 4/20? Well, I’m sorry to disappoint because it was ALWAYS going to be SKELLYBONES and it was ALWAYS going to be BOOSEGUMPS - so gather up your britches, bitches, cause we going to bump tonight. And by bump, I mean goose, because on today’s episode we’re getting more terrified than the terrifier. We be visiting TERROR TOWER. You know, I thoug
Episode Three Hundred Twelve: Paid by Poltergeists Part Two
Does this story dare go to places and say things I’d never think I’d hear Tenron say before? Yes, yes it will. Like an addict who fixes for his next dose, I’m waiting on Patty B’s next cigarette to help me push through. If only I could get that DAMN CIGARETTE. Anyways, Tenron Otrin and I are back to finish Patricia Barnes’ story about being a hitman for ghosts. Did it go where I wanted it or expec
Episode Three Hundred Eleven: Paid by Poltergeists Part One
I know what you’re thinking. We could all use a lady like Patty B in our lives. Oh, you’re not thinking that? Well, it’s probably just because you haven’t met her yet. Let me introduce you to two people: One you know, One you don’t. The one you know: Tenron Otrin, here to join me on this special 2-parter with -the one you don’t know- Patricia Barnes AKA Hitman for Ghosts! She’s the revenging reven
Episode Three Hundred Ten: Girl Power
Valentine’s day might be behind us, but there’s still some love to spread around to my hot females, as Sofa King would say. This one is dedicated to my favorite female co-host in the world, Cannibal Siren, and what better way to celebrate than by reading a middling to generic YA story together. I don’t know what else to tell you. I don’t vet this shit! It’s got spunk, it’s got girl power, it’s got
Episode Three Hundred Nine: Happy Valentine's Day, Hal
We love our fans. What isn’t to like about them? They’re slightly autistic. They appreciate our sense of humor and spook. They’re along for the ride. And, most importantly, they send us KILLER stories like today’s treat brought to us by Patreon Subscriber HAL. Fuck yeah, dude. First off, thank you for the sandwich - it goes without saying. Second off, what a recommendation for today! We might not
Episode Three Hundred Eight: Glitch Got Ghosts
What d’ya get when you mix 3 dozen eggs, 2 spooky boys, and a little dented-headed fuck named David? BULLSHIT, that’s what (gottem). Dear David was brought to you by a ghost-lover named Glitch Blob who wanted to get spooky on a Sunday afternoon instead of playing Phasmophobia for the 9 millionth time. Who can blame him? With Captain Death at the wheel, you know Glitch is standing on the side of th
Episode Three Hundred Seven: The 2025 SeasonHELL Movie Review
What happens when we trap Mark Rooster in a room and force him to talk about movies for 3 hours? OH, YOU THINK YOU KNOW? WELL, JOKES ON YOU. I HAD SOMEONE HELP ME THIS TIME! It’s Deputy Dewey! Mark didn’t even see it coming. Even though I called him, and asked him, and this happened at his house and everything - there was no way. 2025 was such a great year for movies and for horror as a genre in g
Episode Three Hundred Six: Halloween Horror Nights 2025
Let’s start the year off in a new way, yeah? New Year, New Me - right? When I thought about reviewing Halloween Horror Nights all these years I had one constant thought - what if I used my own footage? Well, yeah, I do that here, but I can’t record in the houses themselves, though, so what do we think next? Ah yes, use other channels’ footage and give them ample credits and shoutouts. Yes, thank y
Episode Three Hundred Five: Pen to Paper Part Six
It was a simple premise… What if WE wrote our own stories? I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are? So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out. I want to thank all the guests on today’s episodes for being some of the reasons that I keep doing this. Kitty, first off, for being the biggest and bestest fan
Episode Three Hundred Four: Pen to Paper Part Five
It was a simple premise…
What if WE wrote our own stories? I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are?
So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out. I want to thank all the guests on today’s episodes for being a bunch of real gents. Ramses, first off, for sharing his wonderful fucking story with me and for
Episode Three Hundred Three: Pen to Paper Part Four
It was a simple premise… What if WE wrote our own stories? I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are? So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out. I want to thank both of my guests on today’s episode for being a couple of fucking overachievers. Who would’ve thought that two of my closest friends would have
Episode Three Hundred Two: Pen to Paper Part Three
It was a simple premise…
What if WE wrote our own stories? I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are?
So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out. I want to thank all of my guests on today’s episode for being the oldest and goldest of the bunch. You know who it is, the ones who’ve been around since the BE
Episode Three Hundred One: Pen to Paper Part Two
It was a simple premise… What if WE wrote our own stories? I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are? So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out. I want to thank all of my guests on today’s episode for bridging the gap between the NEW and the OLD. Some of these guys have been around for a while and it show
Episode Three Hundred: Pen to Paper Part One
It was a simple premise… What if WE wrote our own stories? I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are? So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out. I want to thank all of my guests on today’s episode for breaking us in and being a part of this from the top. This is the SACRIFICIAL grouping - the first people
Episode Two Hundred Ninety-Nine: For the History Books
On today’s solo episode we have a casual fan interaction and questionnaire to start things but then we get into the REAL REAL, and I’m talking R E A L with it. I don’t even want to spoil it. I barely want to put the names down but I feel I’d be doing a disservice to everyone if I didn’t source my shit so if they loved something they know what it is and its title and author. FUCK. What a dilemma.
Episode Two Hundred Ninety-Eight: An Ode to Danny
Look at us, Ramses. Here, again, reading submissions from our once-loyal fan Danny boy. And here we are, again, looking for Danny. It’s been a couple months since Halloween and we still don’t have any sign of him. Is he out there? Hopefully. Is he still sending us requests? No, not at all. Do I miss it? Maybe. It’s hard to say if you miss something until it’s gone, right? At the time, I was like,
Episode Two Hundred Nintey-Seven: This Coat Rack Can't Hang Part Four
What’s better than the beginning of a story? The end of a story. That’s right. I got you. You didn’t see that coming. You couldn’t possibly see that coming. Maybe you did, it is the finale episode for this story after all, we’ve been talking about it for a while. Maybe you did know. Maybe you knew too much. You know what they say about people who know too much. They suck. Yeah, I said it. I got yo
Episode Two Hundred Ninety-Six: Things That Goosebump in the Night 3
What a fun time we have together, Mr. SkellyBones. Let this be a chronicle of our friendship even when I’m long gone, dead and buried. Well, hopefully cremated with my ashes spread around some shitty location in Orlando, Florida that is not The Haunted Mansion found in the Magic Kingdom on Walt Disney World theme park property. Or Horrorland. If you can find it, let me rest there, if possible, cau
Episode Two Hundred Ninety-Five: This Coat Rack Can't Hang Part Three
What the heck is going on in here? I mean, we keep ending up back in this basement despite all the shit going on and there is A LOT of SHIT going on. Let’s just say that this episode goes to places I never even knew possible, even considering the basement. When we’re not in the basement, who know’s where this is going. At least in the basement, we know where’s it’s going, right? WRONG. It’s going
Episode Two Hundred Ninety-Four: Shidding & Farding & BUTCHERING
Well, this is surely a splendid evening with Mr. Heavyhands. We hold ourselves with the utmost decorum, and only the finest quality of conversation. You may say we’re gentlemen, but we claim to be normal folk, you can tell by our wit and our banter as such. We may be reading a story called Butcherface, but we’re also talking about shitting our pants and farting on the podcast. I know, I know. This
Episode Two Hundred Ninety-Three: This Coat Rack Can't Hang Part Two
It’s part two and it’s NOT an electric boogaloo, to say the least. It’s more like an exposition boogaloo and let’s just say that the buck doesn’t stop, there. This stories is elevating itself and self-conflating itself in ways I never thought possible and on ONE hand I think I’m being too critical; Because I do really like this story and it makes me think and it tickles that part of my brain where
Episode Two Hundred Ninety-Two: The Spaghetti & Meatballs Show
On today’s episode we harken back to a simpler time, an easier time, a time of peace, a time of tranquility, a time of getting too high and reading random stories we found on the internet. This morning, join Midnight Bride, Afternoon Groom, and I for a quaint English breakfast where the only English muffin you’ll be getting are the words on this page spoken sensually to your ear-holes. Does Aftern
Episode Two Hundred Ninety-One: This Coat Rack Can't Hang Part One
It’s a new series with Cannibal Siren, folks! I know it’s what you wanted, what can I say, I know what the people want. Unfortunately, however, we’e not monster-fucking on this one. Oh, no. No, no. Not that way, at least. There is consent involved in what Cannibal Siren does. Let’s not get too far away from it, there is a monster in this one, and he’s getting close to us in all the worst ways; Non
Episode Two Hundred Ninety: Definitely Not Afraid of Children
It was a cold, wintery night when Scutch MacGee stumbled through my door. He was confused, parked in the wrong driveway, and immediately remarked on how he almost got stuck in patches of ice. We greeted each other as brothers, arms wrapped in a warm embrace. We sipped on Whiskey based on his first-born’s namesake while we conversed about horror movies and shit to get excited about this upcoming ye
Episode Two Hundred Eighty-Nine: Yet Another SeasonHELL Movie Review
What happens when we trap Mark Rooster in a room and force him to talk about movies for 3 hours? Well, this episode happens. Not much more to say here, to be honest. We start with stuff I feel like I missed talking about in 2023 and then we move onto 2024, just to catch up on everything. There’s some good, there’s some bad, and there’s some indifference from both of us and not just Mark. He has op
Episode Two Hundred Eighty-Eight: Welcome to The Backrooms
So you’ve survived THE CUBE er- I mean, THE SQUARE (for copyright reasons) and you think you’re home free, right? No religious allegories, no last minute judgement calls that wastes all your time, just you, me, the boys, and some open road. WRONG. SO WRONG. The BACKROOMS surround us as we find our way through a mysterious facility. Just a moment ago the space we were in was trying to kill us at al
Episode Two Hundred Eighty-Seven: A Very Merry Pastas Part Twelve
On the Twelfth creep of Christmas, Frowns gave to me… Depression. Seasonal depression, to be exact. Yes, this is the 12th Christmas episode we’ve had in the 8 years of having done this show and I feel like we’ve simultaneouslyhit the low and the bar on this one. The low because TWELVE seriously? TWELVE Christmas episodes? God damn it. The bar because this one features a story that actually creeped
Episode Two Hundred Eighty-Six: McRibbed for your Pleasure
What is a friend to do when the other suggests to do something against both of their better judgement? Do we give in to the based and peer accusations of what it means to be human, to be an animal with no regret? Or do we limit ourselves, our potential, and return, seamlessly to the void to live in silence? No, I mean, yeah, we read Harry Potter erotic fan-fiction on this episode. Definitely. When
Episode Two Hundred Eighty-Five: The Horniest Magicians
What can I say about Magic that hasn’t already been said by someone either more stupid or more smart than me? I don’t know, I don’t think anyone can answer that question - So I asked WhereAmI? To come here and also not answer it - cause we gotta read a provocative story about some older dude lusting after a young “boy.” Yeah, you heard me. No, this wasn’t on purpose and no I never vet my stories b
Episode Two Hundred Eighty-Four: Viva Las Spookas
It’s fun to reminisce with friends about past horrors, right? Well, this one is a bit more literal as the first thing Royale w/ Cheese wanted to talk about was Halloween Ends and that’s a past horror to me for all the wrong reasons. No, the name of the day is JASON EGAN and we’re talking his IP based escape rooms offered off the strip in Las Vegas, NV. We first did The BLAIR WITCH, then we did SAW
Episode Two Hundred Eighty-Three: Halloween Horror Nights 2024
I’VE BEEN AWAY. TO A DISTANT LAND. AGAIN.You might also say WHEREAMI? AGAIN. Cause he’s here too. We’re back in Cali, baby. We went to Disneyland again but THIS TIME we got into the OOGIE BASH and it was pretty alright! OH NO, BUT REALLY, we’re into the total again because it is our second time at Halloween Horror Nights Hollywood. I also wanted to take the time to talk about Halloween Horror Nigh
Episode Two Hundred Eighty-Two: The Vamp-Wire Part Two
What can I say about dead celebrities that hasn’t been said already? A lot actually. Which is why I’m not going to say anything. I’m really not. So anyways, we’re continuing the investigation we last left off with on the previous episode. I mean, we have our answers, we know where things are going, right? Maybe not literally but how could you possibly know where part three is going to end. Will ou
Episode Two Hundred Eighty-One: The Vamp-Wire Part One
What can I say about vampires that hasn’t already been said? Well, they live forever, so they have to be pretty savvy business men, right? Not what you expected me to say, either, huh? Well, it’s not what I expected to be reading with this group of jack-offs. Or should I say jack-ONS because they were on this shit like flies. By that I mean, they read and performed pretty damn well, in my opinion.
Episode Two Hundred Eighty: What's Up, Pup?
Everyone loves a good dog, right? I mean, if you don’t, I don’t trust you. I don’t think you deserve my trust if you don’t love a good doggo. I know someone who loves good pups: Midnight Bride. She’s got herself a good little goblin faced, Steve Buscemi of a dog. She’s a sweet lil sprinkle-bear. She can’t help that she was born with the face of a bat and the body of a chihuahua. But I digress, we’
Episode Two Hundred Seventy-Nine: Straight Outta Deepwoods Part Three
What conclusion awaits us at the end of this thrilling chapter? Something trivial that will tie everything up way too nicely despite all the questions and remaining answers and issues are directly in front of our literal fingertips, right? No, again, no inbred, redneck melon-heads. No old, garden variety homeless people. Just Grimes. Just a big old bitch of a stone statue. The possibilities have b
Episode Two Hundred Seventy-Eight: Straight Outta Deepwoods Part Two
What mysteries lie in the fictional town of Lannenberg(burg?) Pennsylvania? Who knows because it doesn’t actually exist and I’m confused as to why this is a plot point when it could have just taken place in Harrisburg. No inbred, redneck melon-heads. No old, garden variety homeless people. But yes, yes, a giant demon statue made of stone and sin called Metar- I mean -GRIMBUS. The possibilities are
Episode Two Hundred Seventy-Seven: Straight Outta Deepwoods Part One
What mysteries lie deep in the woods of Pennsylvania. Inbred, redneck melon-heads? Regular old, garden variety homeless people? A giant demon statue made of stone and sin? The possibilities are endless here on Lotsa Pasta with our guest Ramses Vanderslice. I know we last had a really silly Halloween but Ramses is back to get into a multi-chapter story with me this time, reminiscent of our time che
Episode Two Hundred Seventy-Six: SINergy
Cannibal Siren and I are on another level today. We’re operating on a whole other spectrum. An AUTISTIC spectrum. No, not really. We just got that synergy going on. Oh, I mean, SINergy. Right, cause we both full of that godly No-No. What’s more in style with the kids now-a-days, being all shitty and stupid or being reliable and respectful. That’s not a question for a reason, we know the answer. Ge
Episode Two Hundred Seventy-Five: Why the Long Face?
We’re back in the kingdom of HO-HOs and Lititz, PA. Yes, that’s right, the SOFA Kingdom, to be exact. This time, joined by the royal family as Sofa Queen also joins us on spectator duty while the King and I have our jolly time. That being said, these stories were random as all hell but also fun as all hell and I blame all of that on Sofa King - he’s just that kinda guy. He read through my list, he
Episode Two Hundred Seventy-Four: ExtraTERRORestrial VI: Goon to the Moon
I meant to sing a little song to Scutch when I saw him a couple months ago and recorded this episode but I forgot. Of course, it’s because I got too drunk and because I was too excited to talk to him about Game of Thrones and Aliens. You know, the usual. Why wouldn’t I be excited about that, Scutch is one of my favorite people on the show because of his life experience and perspective on things an
Episode Two Hundred Seventy-Three: Bedtime Stories with Grandpa Part Two
Grandpa really puts life in perspective. Sometimes you just get caught up chasing things you don't understand and next thing you know, you're old, and broken, and telling your grandson a bunch of bullshit because your brain doesn't work right anymore and almost everyone you know is dead. Crazy. Anyways, here's some more stories! Who knows which direction they'll go. Did you understand the last epi
Episode Two Hundred Seventy-Two: Bedtime Stories with Grandpa Part One
The Deputy is back and he killed the Sheriff himself. What more need be said? A lot, I suppose. Join us for some NIGHT SWIM and join us for some more hard-boiled cops that play by the rules. No, nothing weird about that. Totally by-the-books procedural here. Nothing out of the ordinary going on. Just regular old story-time with Grandpa. Definitely no nightmare inspiring unsolved mysteries here. De
Episode Two Hundred Seventy-One: Things That Goosebump in the Night 2
So, Slappy haunted my dreams as a kid, that’s no surprise. I’ll talk about that forever. I’ll talk about how the Goosebumps TV show haunted me as a kid. That’s fine. Curse me, if you will. But maybe it is all rose-tinted shades from here on out or really, what are a couple of 30-year old men doing reading Goosebumps anyway? Are we really that far out of the recommended audience to glean anything f
Episode Two Hundred Seventy: A Very Merry Pastas Part Eleven
I’m gonna make that joke about how I drug myself every Christmas Eve, now. Well, I guess I already did, didn’t I? Christmas is supposed to be a day about getting together with the family or those close enough to be blood, and sharing some special time with each other where you don’t just sniff each others farts and lick each others assholes. I mean, if you end up doing either of those literal thin
Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Nine: A Very Merry Pastas Part Ten
I’d make a joke about how I drug myself every Christmas Eve, but it seems too easy. The truth is, I drug myself throughout this entire season. I can’t stand it, to be honest. The entire capitalist, competitive spirit of gift-giving mixed with overbearing debt and rising suicide rates and low mental health for the entirety of winter keeps me as dreary and bleak as the 5PM snow-blind darkness. But h
Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Eight: Hail to the King 3
BUT YOU’VE GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS. Ain’t that right people? Today’s episode introduces us to a new guest that needs a perfect introduction in an otherwise perfect little contained episode. Royale w/ Cheese wanted to get broken in on some of the King and who am I to supply him with anything but. This is the third time we’re reading King, as we’ve read The Jaunt and The Raft on two other episodes, but t
Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Seven: Hell-o-ween Weekend
The world is changed. I feel it in the creeps. I feel it in the pasta. I smell it in the weed. Much that once was across the fucking planet is now here, for those of us crazy enough to accept it. It began with the forging of a spooky podcast. Three close friends gathered, seeking immortality amongst the internet sovereign. Seven trolls, great trouble makers and jokesters of the caverns old. And ni
Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Six: Halloween Horror Nights Retrospective
Today is a personal episode for me. I don’t share much about my personal life and I do that on purpose as to not mix what it is about performing on this show with what it means for me to live my life as myself. You see, what I do here on this program is put on a performance, much like in my life, to display that of a regular, spooky-loving dude. But really, it is much more than that. I live the sp
Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Five: Happy Halloween, Danny
What can I say, I’m sentimental. I appreciate nostalgia. I like to get back to the classics every once in a while, remind myself where we came from and what we grew out of. And that’s why we’re going to read some dumb ass, stupid ass stories on todays episode. Really get the blood flowing, you know? These are all submissions and recommendations from a listener of ours Danny, and I hope he hears th
Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Four: The Devil and the Details
So, the Devil walks into a bar. No, that isn’t the start to a joke or anything, I’m literally telling you the Devil just walked into the bar. Fine, don’t believe me. But let me tell you, she looks hot as hell. What can I say, a fiery redhead always makes my tongue dry. And what better to whet the whistle than some whiskey. That’ll do the trick. Let’s hear what she has to say, shall we? I hope it’s
Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Three: Halloween Horror Nights Hollywood 2023
I’VE BEEN AWAY. TO A DISTANT LAND. You might even say, WHEREAMI? No, really, you might say that, cause he is here too. Where? CALIFORNIA, BITCHES. We went to Disneyland cause he’s never been but ALSO we went to Super Nintendo World because that’s over here too. OH, NO, BUT REALLY, the thing that this episode is about - obviously. Look at the title. It was WhereAmI?’s first time going to Halloween
Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Two: It Isn't a Podcast
Quick episode gets quick write-up intro. Tom Bongbadil was in town, I strapped him down to a chair and made him read with me. That’s it. Wanna fight about it? I wouldn’t. We read two no sleep stories this episode, and both are OKAY. Nothing ground breaking, nothing amazing, but fun to read nonetheless. OH, and the episode begins with a nostalgic breakdown of a game we play where we basically LARP.
Episode Two Hundred Sixty-One: Not Hot But Spicy, Bb Vol. 8
What can I say about Not Hot But Spicy forums that hasn’t been said in this episode or any of the other 7 episodes? Nothing. That’s right, NOTHING. If you’ve gotten this far, you know what we’re all about and I’m not gonna pretend like you don’t. Well, I am, in the episode itself I am, yes, but for this short description and time-stamp list, I’m gonna be a cock and say that you’re fine, everything
Episode Two Hundred Sixty: Deputy on Duty Part Three
You ever get released from your really strict and kinda crazy mental asylum just to go to another mental asylum that isn’t as bad? Me too. I have feelings about this ending. They’re not good feelings. They’re feelings I usually associate with bowel movements. You wanna talk OWLS? Nah, me neither. They’re weird and boring and like to throw up. I mean, yeah, they’re cool but WHO cares. Bit of an owl
Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Nine: Deputy on Duty Part Two
You ever get blamed for a murder you didn’t commit and get institutionalized because you plead insanity instead of going to jail? Yeah, me neither. I wonder where we’re going to go from here. Who can tell what is real and what is not, especially when that was kinda the point of the first ‘part’ of this series. Mineral Wells lingers as much as the CRAZY WATER does, so what even are expectations. “W
Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Eight: Deputy on Duty Part One
You ever get stopped by the cops and have no idea what’s going on despite having just fled a murder scene and know you’re completely innocent and that ghosts are to blame? Yeah, me either. Deputy Dewey stopped me on the way home today and said he wanted to check my trunk for some bones and I thought it was a euphemism for anal and let’s just get to the point here: I was wrong. He was really tellin
Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Seven: Of Demon and Dearest
How do YOU feel about fossils, folks? I feel pretty good about them, myself. They’re bones, I’m bones, so we’re all bones. I get that. I feel good about that, like I said. I also feel pretty good about the stories we read on this episode. Yeah, we get off track as per the usual, but we read some really great stuff today and I’m excited to see what everyone thinks about it. Sleep Paralysis is incre
Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Six: The Nature and the Natural
Lets get back to what made this show so special in the first place. Let’s pick random stories from a huge list and have no expectations about what we’re getting into and how the title may or may not hit its mark. What? No, that’s not what we always do, even with some of our series! That’s impossible. That could never be the truth. We can’t possibly, also, talk for like an hour before reading any o
Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Five: Taken to Ransom Part Two
Is this going to be better or more exciting than the other part? No, not really. I’m just laying it all out there that we totally didn’t know what we were getting into and that’s why it’s so disappointing now that we’re on the other side. This is probably even the same author from the first part revisiting his same story/ARG years later and trying to blow it all back up to get things going again.
Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Four: Taken to Ransom Part One
What can I say about this next series with WhereAmi? That already hasn’t been said on some of his other episodes… We’re easily excitable. We over-exaggerate. We use hyperbole a bunch. We’re eager. We get into the hype. And that… honestly, promotes a set up for disappointment. And that disappointment usually comes in the form of #wasdemons. Yes, folks, we have another #wasdemons two part story with
Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Three: From Midnight to Afternoon
New season, new talent. What can I say? We gotta keep the train rolling and we gotta keep picking up passengers and sharing the load. Fucking fat load, you know what I’m saying. Fucking HUGE load for Lotsa Pasta, right? RIGHT. So who better to spread that load than a married couple. First married couple on the show? That’s cute. And you know one of them already, Midnight Bride was introduced with
Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Two: Always More in Store
What better way to break up a massive sausage fest with a bunch of hunky boys than by calling in our favorite resident soul sucking temptress from the deep: Cannibal Siren. I know it probably only seems like a single episode between our last reading of STORIES TO READ ALONE AT NIGHT but I was excited after talking to Mark over at One-Page-Wonder(the author of all Stories to Read Alone at Night) an
Episode Two Hundred Fifty-One: Welcome to the Square
WELCOME TO THE THUNDER-DOME, FUCKERS. I mean, uh, scratch that, uh, welcome to the… square? Right, that’s what this is called? Yeah. The SQUARE. Not the cube, we didn’t have time for that. That’s too much. I’m lazy. We needed something that did less. Thus, the Square. If you’ve seen the cube, you get the gist. We wake up. We don’t know where we are. We’re in new clothes, our things taken from us,
Episode Two Hundred Fifty: Interview with a Creeper FT. Stories to Read Alone at Night
What an episode awaits us today, in this new year. The first of its kind, an interview of sorts, we welcome an AUTHOR to join us at the table of tomfuckery. MARK! AKA One Page Wonder AKA Stories to Read Alone at Night author joins us for a brief chat and story today, and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out. What a guy, to sit there and deal with Cannibal Siren and I as we both gush and cr
Episode Two Hundred Forty-Nine: A Very Merry Pastas Part Nine
Oh, cum all ye faithful. Cum right here and now, please. Come listen to this week’s Christmas episode. YES, another one of these. And I incorrectly thought it was our tenth - it’s actually our ninth, BIG DEAL. And guess who’s back for another Christmas episode? Tenron Otrin! Yes, for his second Christmas episode! Nice. Oh, and Frowns McBooHoo is here too, I guess. Nothing new and exciting there. T
Episode Two Hundred Forty-Eight: ExtraTERRORestrial V: Deep in Uranus
Aliens. What more do I need to say. They are a wonder to us humans, as there is no definable evidence out there that we are alone or otherwise. That’s why we, here on Lotsa Pasta, like to get stoned and talk about it - because there is no wrong answer. You can never be too calm or too crazy when talking about aliens. Got a personal experience, let’s hear it. Had a dream about being anally probed,
Episode Two Hundred Forty-Seven: Apartment Fuckery Understatement Part Four
It’s the last understatement for this part of the series folks, as we’ve reached our finale on what it means to live in the embodiment of spooky. The atmosphere: spooky. The residents: spooky. The elevator: spooky. The landlord: spooky. Me, I’m well spooked. Cannibal Siren is loving this shit, however, and even though I’m spooked, I am too. This is peak Reddit NoSleep, folks. I don’t think I’ve be
Episode Two Hundred Forty-Six: Lindsay Lohan and the Beast from Hell
Mark Rooster has climbed in out of the cold, and I’m trying to talk him into my bedroom like Baby, it’s cold outside. Just like the beautiful, fresh December air that joins Mark Rooster today, he also brings gifts: a veritable Krapmus here to spread the Christmas cheer, eh? For today’s episode is all in thanks to Mark Rooster’s beautiful mind. I’m not talking Russell Crowe, either, I’m talking Lin
Episode Two Hundred Forty-Five: Apartment Fuckery Understatement Part Three
So many twists and turns in this serious, my head is about to spin around like that bitch from The Exorcist, minus the split pea soup. I’m enjoying myself, don’t get me wrong, but we’re losing good characters and putting other good characters in danger almost constantly. Things get a bit more challenging this episode because it looks like our Michael Caine impersonator Derek is missing and we fina
Episode Two Hundred Forty-Four: A Sumptuous Sacrifice
The kingdom is crippling in debt and it’s all because of this no good inflation. Times they are a changing, Sofa King, and Bob Dylan ain’t the only one suckin and blowin to get by, apparently so is Sofa Prince; I hope to never meet him. As a good host to our good king, I -of course- offered him a sumptuous meal upon his arrival and today we have quite the menu of creepy cavettatappi. Sofa King is
Episode Two Hundred Forty-Three: Apartment Fuckery Understatement Part Two
Part Two and things are getting super cereal. Serial? Yes, the stakes are up. Steaks? More people die and more people get eaten, that’s all I’m trying to say right now. Join Cannibal Siren and I for a quick re-cap and discussion of ideas as we get into what may be going on at the heart of this story. We get new time with new characters and we find out more about what’s going on all over the apartm
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