The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes)
Lauren Hayes 24 episodes Oct 20, 2026
The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes) is a podcast about modern love, ethical non-monogamy, and how these relationship styles are portrayed in mainstream media. It began as a deep dive into the drama of the reality show The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives before evolving into a broader look at non-monogamy in pop culture. Hosts Lauren, an ENM relationship coach and swinger, and Ben, an ex-LDS polyamorist, share their own experiences while dissecting TV shows and media narratives. Together they offer candid, often funny conversation meant to make listeners rethink what love and relationships can look like.
Episodes
Lauren Ben Salt Lake (a Vicky Cristina Barcelona Story)
Send us Fan MailIt’s the changing of the seasons for Lauren and Ben, from end-of-summer concerts to the beginning of empty nesting (hello, Tuesday night swinger parties). This episode, they dive into Woody Allen’s 2008 film Vicky Cristina Barcelona and ask the big question: are you a Vicky, a Cristina, or the type who just follows the honest guy? The film may give us one of the most beautiful thro
Talking About The Invite (And We Can't Stop)
Send us Fan MailWe reviewed The Invite! It has everyone talking, including us. I don't usually give this away in the description, but I loved this movie so much I want everyone to know... and to go see it themselves. Listen as Ben and I break down the movie's most defining moments and relate them to our own lifestyle and relationship experiences. This one is so much fun! (And apologies t
Down to Feel Good St. Louis
Send us Fan MailLauren and Ben return with a deep dive into HBO Max's DTF St. Louis - a weatherman, a case of peyronies, and a friendship intimate enough to be its own subplot.Is it a show about ethical non-monogamy? Not exactly. Infidelity is doing a lot of the heavy lifting here, but is it sex positive? Weirdly, mostly yes. Lauren and Ben work through where the line is between "ethical
She’s Gotta Have It — and So Do We
Send us Fan MailBen and Lauren kick off this week’s episode with a few spicy tales from her latest swinger shenanigans at a lifestyle resort- because why ease in when you can dive right in? It’s late October, which means it’s officially Swinger Christmas (aka Halloween), so the party-talk begins.From there, they turn their attention to She’s Gotta Have It (2017), the bold, unapologetic series abou
Splitsville: Comedy Win, ENM Fail
Send us Fan MailLauren and Ben dive into Splitsville—the gloriously unhinged new movie where a handjob-fueled car crash leads to divorce, an “open marriage circus,” and a bro-fight so long it could’ve had intermission popcorn. Lauren actually saw the whole film (so you don’t necessarily have to), while Ben only managed the trailer—though that doesn’t stop him from handing out hot takes and wishing
Trigonometry & the Awkward Art of Adding a Third
Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben kick off with Ben's hilariously mundane life updates - school stress and parties - while Lauren reveals about her French nudist swinger village jaunt, where badges are mandatory but clothing is not. This episode covers everything from unicorn cakes to awkward throuple jealousy. They dissect "Trigonometry," a slow-burn British gem where a couple accide
Season 2 Trailer: The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes) has Evolved (as everyone should)
Send us Fan MailWe started out as a reaction podcast to The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives because we haaaate it when our community is represented by those who know nothing about our community. Well, we were fooled by the click-bait, and it had little to do with our community. Ben and I pivoted and now we review shows with ENM themes. We review them and discuss how ENM is portrayed...and if the show
Dying for Sex (and Lasagna)
Send us Fan MailOne host just got back from a 2500-couple sex convention. The other is sleepy by 11 PM. Let the games begin. Lauren and Ben tackle the profound TV show Dying for Sex. But not before they workshop the best story for a sprained finger. The whole thing descends into anarchy when Lauren realizes she missed the episode with all the kink, leaving Ben to explain dom/sub dynamics, dick-kic
Compersion Season 2: ENM & The How Not To
Send us Fan MailFresh from the dusty desert plains of a Burning Man-esque festival, a sleepy Lauren and Ben kick things off with tales of naked bike rides, spanking vs. stomach-raspberries (you'll have to listen to find out who chose what), and a goddess statue with vape-juice teats. Then, they dive into the final season of "Compersion," a show with a plot so bonkers it leaves Ben s
Compersion Season 1: A (kinda) Cautionary Tale
Send us Fan MailLauren kicks things off by humbling Ben’s enthusiasm—turns out she’s not soooo good, just “regular good.” From there, they dive into a lively pre-show chat that includes music festival misadventures and an unfiltered look at Lauren’s “Sacred Sluts” project. Then it's time for a no-holds-barred breakdown of Compersion Season 1: morning-after mishaps, questionable partner choice
A Love Story: A Professor, a Triad and a Super Hero
Send us Fan MailLauren and Ben trip over pleasantries straight into naked hot tubs, Tropicana slander, and the dread of floppy poolside antics. On this episode they dissect a movie about a polyamorous relationship (in the 20's!) and Wonder Woman's kinky origins. Professor Marston and the Wonder Women gets a solid review, along with plenty of made-up speculation. There are tangents on pow
Wanderlust, Winding Through ENM, & Wasted Ski Days
Send us Fan MailLauren’s fresh off a very successful swingers’ trip (tan lines included!), while Ben’s still mourning a flat tire that ruined his ski plans. Ouch! They dissect Netflix’s Wanderlust, calling out TV’s obsession with simultaneous orgasms and the awkwardness of meeting your partner's other partners.The conversation takes a heartfelt turn as they discuss the complexities of telling
Wanderlust is Not a Bust
Send us Fan MailTune into "Examined Lives " where Lauren, the Swinging Lifestyle Coach, and her friend Ben dissect Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) in pop culture. This week, they discuss BBC's (now seen on Netflix) "Wanderlust", where a couple messily cheats their way into non-monogamy. They debate infidelity-as-a-gateway to non-monogamy, the perils of office masturbation (in a
Couple to Throuple Again and Part II
Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben are back with their review and commentary on the rest of the Peacock series, Couple to Throuple. They'll break down the pairings, the swaps, and everything in between. Expect some drama, some laughs, maybe even a few tears—and of course, they’ll share their favorite contestants. Plus, stick around till the end for a fresh and funny take on the term compersion!
Three's Company: Love, Drama, and Boundaries on Couple to Throuple
Send us Fan MailIf you’ve ever wondered what happens when The Bachelor meets ethical non-monogamy (ENM), here it is. Lauren and Ben dive into Couple to Throuple, the Peacock reality show that’s equal parts fascinating, cringe, and surprisingly educational. Spoiler: It’s not just about threesomes—it’s about feelings, boundaries, and the emotional ride of adding a third to your relationship. STD He
Easy Does It: Open Marriage Gets Real on the Small Screen
Send us Fan MailLauren and Ben are back with a fresh take on their podcast! Say goodbye to Mormon wife drama and hello to a spicier exploration of non-monogamy in mainstream media. In this episode, they dive into Netflix's "Easy," following the adventures (and misadventures) of Andy and Kyle - a power couple testing the waters of open marriage. Our hosts break down the show's
Topless Tastings & The ‘Book of Rumors’ Season Send-Off
Send us Fan MailIn this episode, Ben shares his experience at a body-positive, topless whiskey-tasting party, and Lauren recounts a comedy competition where swinging humor sparked mixed reactions—and some unexpected misunderstandings. With Halloween, aka “Swingers’ Christmas,” approaching, Lauren and Ben discuss their costume collections and themed parties.They recap The Secret Lives of Mormon Wiv
We are Not in Utah Anymore
Send us Fan MailListen in as Lauren and Ben talk about episode 7 of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, which all takes place in Sin City. The women are getting along better than ever (sans Whitney) but now the husband and boyfriend cause most of the drama. Sexy male strippers & gambling are the backdrop, and we’ll discuss oily bodies, toxic monogamy & relationship and also the question of w
Peach on the Beach and Cream Colored Jeans (E6)
Send us Fan MailIn this spicy episode Lauren and Ben discuss labiaplasty, why no one does paintings of balls and whether rubbing oil on a Chippendale's chest will keep you out of (Mormon) heaven. Speaking of heaven, Ben describes the Mormon afterlife and spoiler alert: the most obedient people still might get to have sex. STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout.Retreats: https://www
Book of Broken Friendships
Send us Fan MailIn this episode, Lauren and Ben discuss friendship, ENM, stress, conflict and soda shops. While this episode focuses on the fracturing of the #MomTok gang, we discuss vulnerability and a different way to look at their conflict . We'll also discuss some Words of Wisdom in ENM / The Lifestyle as well as more on the LDS church. As always, join them for fun, silliness and a bit o
Garments, Drama, and Oh Boy, the Truth Box! (E4)
Send us Fan MailIn this episode, Lauren and Ben discuss Episode 4 of 'The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives', sharing their personal updates before diving into THE key event, the “sh*t show” of the birthday celebration weekend. Ben educates us on the history and current use of Mormon garments, inspired by their favorite quote “Can we Door Dash garments?” The Truth Box serves its purpose at th
Saints & Sinners - The Big Divide
Send us Fan MailIn this episode, Lauren and Ben discuss Episode 3 of 'The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives', sharing their personal updates before diving into key events such as a potluck confrontation, a controversial graduation party, and the impact of breaking community norms. They provide insights into Mormon culture, including health codes and gender roles, and compare these to norms wi
Seeking Pleasure Can Get Out of Hand
Send us Fan MailLauren and Ben discuss the complexities of episode two from the series 'The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.' This episode, recorded 11 months post-Taylor's arrest, features Taylor's baby shower as a focal point.The hosts examine themes including the empowerment of women as breadwinners, the impact of swinging on their brands, and the pervasive shame surrounding se
The First Look at The First Book of Taylor
Send us Fan MailIn the inaugural episode of The Examined Lives of the Secret Wives, hosts Lauren and Ben dive into their review of the reality show The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives through the lens of ethical non-monogamy.Lauren, a swinger, and Ben, who is polyamorous, set the stage by introducing themselves and sharing their frustrations with how the media often misrepresents their communities.Th
Introducing: The Examined Lives of the Secret Wives!
Send us Fan MailJoin Lauren Hayes, your Swinging Lifestyle Coach and expert in ethical non-monogamy, alongside her co-host Ben, an ex-LDS polyamorous friend, as they dive into the reality TV show The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Together, they peel back the curtain on how the show portrays relationships, particularly in the LDS and swinger communities.Lauren and Ben take on each episode, discussi
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