Coming Back Online
Coming Back Online is hosted by Derek. It features honest conversations about weed, clarity, and coming back to yourself. The podcast explores personal growth, reflection, and reconnecting with your own path. Episodes may touch on cannabis use, mental clarity, and self-discovery.
Episodes
Taking the Good Days With the Bad | Learning to Show Up in Sobriety
Recovery isn’t always a straight line, and showing up for yourself on the hard days is something I’m still learning how to do.In this episode, I talk about where I’m at in my journey, what my first year of sobriety taught me, and how different things feel today. I share why I’m learning to sit with difficult emotions instead of making impulsive decisions, giving up, or walking away from something
When Sobriety Changes Your Relationships
What happens when getting sober means more than just giving up the substance?Sometimes it means changing your friendships, your routines, your hobbies, your relationships—and even the way you see yourself.In this episode, I talk about the uncomfortable reality of outgrowing parts of your old life while still loving the people who are part of it. You can’t force someone to want recovery, and you do
When Cannabis Stops Serving You: CHS, Dependence & Finding Your Way Back
In this episode, I’m talking openly about my experience with Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS), what it was like realizing cannabis was no longer serving me, and what can happen when you finally decide it’s time for a change.We’ll talk a little about the different phases of CHS, what may be happening physiologically in the body, and some of the things I experienced along the way. But more import
You Don’t Have to Hit Rock Bottom to Quit Weed
Maybe you’ve been smoking weed every day for years. Maybe you’ve told yourself you’re going to stop, only to find yourself smoking again a few hours later. And maybe you’re starting to realize that you don’t even enjoy it the way you used to. In this episode, we talk about why quitting can be so difficult when weed has become part of your routine, how boredom, stress, anxiety, and habit can keep y
From Rock Bottom to Purpose: Rebuilding My Life After 25 Years of Weed
n this deeply personal episode, I share the story I’ve never fully told—from the lowest point of my life to the mission that’s now giving me purpose. I open up about my divorce, quitting weed after 25 years, depression, suicidal thoughts, turning 40 alone, and what it was really like rebuilding my life from the ground up. I talk about the unexpected challenges of early sobriety, why I believe comm
The Grief Nobody Talks About When You Quit Weed
Talking honestly about what happened when I finally quit smoking weed after 26 years.Nobody prepared me for the grief. Not just grieving the plant itself, but grieving the version of me that believed I needed it to get through life. I smoked because I was hurting, because I was escaping, because it became my comfort. Over time, that comfort turned into emotional, physical, and financial dependen
No Longer a Prisoner in my own Body
For years, I thought I was trying to escape stress, anxiety, boredom, and pain.What I eventually realized was that I was trying to escape myself.In this episode of Coming Back Online, I talk about what happened after quitting weed, why recovery was never just about substances, and what it means to slowly rebuild trust in yourself after years of numbing, distracting, and disconnecting.We talk about
Control the Controllable-Everything else is Noise
In this episode, we’re talking about one of the most powerful shifts you can make in your life — learning to focus on what you can actually control. We live in a world full of noise, unpredictability, and other people’s behavior, and most of it is completely out of our hands. But how you take care of your mind, your body, and your habits? That’s yours.I get personal in this one — talking about my
What serves you, What doesn't, and how to know the difference
In this episode, I’m responding directly to comments and messages from people going through all kinds of struggles—grief, divorce, depression, feeling stuck, feeling empty, and wondering what’s missing in their lives.We talk about the importance of listening to your body, paying attention to the signals your life is giving you, and being honest about what’s helping you and what’s holding you back.
Your Questions about Weed, Sobriety and Healing
In this episode, I’m answering some questions and messages I’ve been getting on social media about sobriety, healing, and what actually helped me quit smoking weed after struggling with it for a long time.I talk about some of the things that helped me personally, but also why recovery isn’t the same for everybody. What works for one person might not work for someone else. A big part of the process
Coming Back Online | My Story With Weed, Dependence & Trying to Find Myself Again
This is the first video episode of Coming Back Online — a podcast about long-term weed use, dependence, sobriety, mental clarity, and trying to reconnect with yourself after years of feeling disconnected.In this episode, I open up about what originally got me started smoking weed, how it slowly became part of my identity and everyday life, and the complicated relationship I developed with it over
Unfiltered thoughts on CHS, Dependence and my History with Weed
This episode is honestly just me talking.No heavy editing.No perfect structure.Just a real conversation about my history with weed, dependency, creativity, comfort, escape, and the role it played in my life for a long time.I grew up around it.A lot of my friends smoked.It became part of hard times, good times, relationships, routines… life.But I also started dealing with serious stomach issues and
The Addiction No One Talks About (Weed, Stagnation & Potential)
In this episode, I talk about a side of addiction that doesn’t get enough attention—the kind that doesn’t destroy your life overnight, but slowly keeps you stuck.After watching Anonymous People and reflecting on my own journey, I started to see addiction differently. Not just as something that causes chaos, but something that can quietly hold you back from becoming who you’re meant to be.This epis
The Hidden Cost of Comfort: Unpacking Cannabinoid Hypermesis Syndrome, the Mind-Gut Connection
What if the thing you’ve been using to feel better… is actually what’s making you sick?In this episode, we unpack Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) — a paradoxical condition where chronic cannabis use can lead to severe nausea, stomach pain, and cycles of physical distress.But this isn’t just about CHS.We go deeper into the mind–gut connection, the rise of high-potency THC, and how the body c
When Weed Stops Working: My 20-year Wake-Up Call
For over 20 years, weed was a constant part of my life.In this episode, I share why I finally decided to walk away from it — and the surprising backlash I’ve received online for talking openly about my experience.Some people have reached out with gratitude, saying they feel the same way and want their clarity back. Others have gotten defensive or angry. And that reaction made me realize something
When Weed Started Hurting Me: CHS, Anxiety and Learning Real Strength
In this episode of Coming Back Online, I share a deeply personal conversation about long-term cannabis use, Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS), and the connection between gut health, anxiety, and emotional regulation.For years, I didn’t fully understand why my body felt off — stomach issues, nervous system dysregulation, anxiety spikes, and periods where I just didn’t feel like myself. What I
When Weed Stops Working: My 26-year relationship with Getting High
For 26 years, weed was part of my identity.I started smoking at 15.It felt cool. It felt freeing. It felt like it helped me cope.But somewhere along the way… it stopped working.In this episode, I talk honestly about my experience with long-term cannabis use — how it changed over the years, how the potency feels different now, the questions around pesticides and chemicals, and the severe stomach sy
Listening to My Body: My Experience With CHS-Like Symptoms After Long-Term Weed Use
In this episode, I share my personal experience with long-term weed use and the symptoms I went through that resembled Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS). I want to be clear — I was never officially diagnosed. This is not medical advice. This is simply my lived experience.After more than 25 years of using weed, I noticed patterns in my body, my motivation, my energy, and my overall quality of
Starting Over at 41
For a long time, I used weed to cope.It started as a way to feel less, to quiet my mind, to escape the weight of things I didn’t know how to process yet. Over time, what felt like relief slowly turned into numbness — and I didn’t even realize how disconnected I had become from myself, my purpose, and the life I wanted.In this first episode of Coming Back Online, I share the real story behind my re
Recommended
پلی لیست | PlayList
Conspiracy Files with Paige Carter
Bad Friends
Learn 50 English Phrases While You Sleep | Everyday English Phrases & Vocabulary
This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
Dateline NBC
Back to the 80s Radio
Crime Stories with Nancy Grace
Bible Tea
این نقطه
TED Business
Dark Night Tales with Brian King
