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Outwitting the Manipulator

Outwitting the Manipulator

Dr. Dennis Becker & Robin Golinski 92 Episodes Oct 14, 2026

Outwitting the Manipulator is a practical communication podcast hosted by Dr. Dennis Becker and Robin Golinski. Each episode examines a specific manipulation tactic such as gaslighting, shame, trust erosion, or reframing. The hosts explain how these tactics work in real time and offer concrete language and strategies for responding while the manipulation is happening. The show is aimed at people dealing with manipulators at work, in relationships, or in family settings. It focuses on changing the outcome of an interaction rather than trying to change the manipulator.

Episodes

Winning by Breaking You: The Manipulation Playbook Behind 'Debate Bro' Culture
Winning by Breaking You: The Manipulation Playbook Behind 'Debate Bro' Culture Oct 14, 2026 2768 What passes for "debate" online is really argument dressed up to dominate, not discover truth. Robin breaks down four manipulation tactics fueling bro culture: weaponized personal vulnerability, radical disruption, manufactured stress, and character assassination. She and Dennis demonstrate each one live, share personal stories of being targeted, and give you specific counter-tactics to shut them
Stop Living Like a Victim: The Mental Housecleaning That Changes Everything
Stop Living Like a Victim: The Mental Housecleaning That Changes Everything Oct 7, 2026 2814 After 25 years in a coercively controlling relationship, author Eva Levina had to answer a difficult question: How did a strong, intelligent, capable woman stay for so long—and how could she make sure it never happened again? In this candid conversation, Eva joins Robin to talk about the subtle warning signs that are easy to mistake for vulnerability, love, or even intimacy: the tragic backstory t
Contempt Is the First Warning Sign of Abuse: A Divorce Attorney Explains
Contempt Is the First Warning Sign of Abuse: A Divorce Attorney Explains Oct 2, 2026 3125 Contempt doesn't start with violence. It starts with a comment about your skin, a look, a tone you're told to ignore. By the time it escalates, most people have spent years telling themselves it wasn't a big deal. In this episode, family law attorney Diana Romanov joins Robin Golinski and Dr. Dennis Becker to talk about the manipulation patterns she sees every day in high-conflict divorce, custody
Dropping the Bar: How Manipulation Sneaks Into Relationships Before Violence Ever Does
Dropping the Bar: How Manipulation Sneaks Into Relationships Before Violence Ever Does Sep 23, 2026 2358 In this episode of Outwitting the Manipulator, hosts Dennis Becker and Robin Golinski sit down with Stephanie MacAlister, founder of Virtua Connect Counseling Clinic (a cross-Canada virtual counseling practice), who has counseled both perpetrators and survivors of domestic violence. The conversation traces how verbal manipulation and isolation typically precede physical violence in relationships,
When Caregiving Meets Manipulation: Surviving a Sibling Power Struggle with Nicole Hilgenkamp
When Caregiving Meets Manipulation: Surviving a Sibling Power Struggle with Nicole Hilgenkamp Sep 17, 2026 2267 What happens when you're grieving a parent and the sibling who should be your ally becomes your biggest obstacle? Nicole Hilgenkamp, founder of Your Parent's Keeper [http://yourparentskeeper.com], joins Robin to share her raw story of being the "designated daughter” - chosen to manage her mother's care, only to watch her oldest brother's manipulation tear the family apart. Robin breaks down the wi
The Golden Cage: How Wealth and Status Trap You in a Manipulative Marriage, with Mia J. Hanks
The Golden Cage: How Wealth and Status Trap You in a Manipulative Marriage, with Mia J. Hanks Sep 10, 2026 1423 What happens when you have everything — the gated home, the charmed life, the husband everyone admires — and none of it is real? Author Mia J. Hanks spent 29 years married to a covert narcissist before walking away from it all. In this episode, Mia and Robin discover unsettling parallels in their stories: the slow erasure of identity, the moment a therapist's simple question exposed just how lost
What Makes Someone a Manipulator? A Debate You Weren't Expecting with Dr. Jeremy Sherman
What Makes Someone a Manipulator? A Debate You Weren't Expecting with Dr. Jeremy Sherman Sep 8, 2026 3054 When a researcher who's spent 30 years studying human behavior from the chemical origins of life to modern relationships sits down with two communication coaches, the conversation goes places nobody planned. Dr. Jeremy Sherman, author of What's Up With A**holes?, challenges Robin and Dennis on the words we use, the rules we trust, and whether anyone can truly claim to be an expert on manipulation.
Protection against Conflation and Dictating Feelings
Protection against Conflation and Dictating Feelings Aug 26, 2026 1932 Dr. Dennis Becker and Robin Golinski discuss two manipulative tactics, Conflation, and Dictating Feelings, and how to protect against them in depth. They define conflation as intentionally twisting multiple issues together so quickly that it’s hard to separate them, using examples from everyday situations and politics, and emphasize that active listening and slowing down in the moment helps identi
Smiles, Stonewalls & the Gish Gallop: Manipulation Tactics in the Owens–Wilson “Debate"
Smiles, Stonewalls & the Gish Gallop: Manipulation Tactics in the Owens–Wilson “Debate" Aug 17, 2026 3590 In this special episode, Robin Golinski and Dr. Dennis Becker break down the viral Candace Owens–Andrew Wilson exchange — not for its politics, but as a live case study in manipulation and communication style. Dennis opens by making the case that this wasn't a debate at all: no judge, no timing, no rules, which changes what counts as a fair tactic. From there the two dig into the nonverbal layer
Should Anyone Ever Be Manipulative?
Should Anyone Ever Be Manipulative? Aug 11, 2026 1877 Dennis and Robin discuss whether it is ever appropriate for regular people to manipulate, and how that differs from the harmful adult manipulation they focus on: communication used for the manipulator’s gain with little or no concern for the other person. They explore the slippery slope between persuasion and manipulation, emphasizing consent and how omission, euphemisms, and emotion-based messagi
Navigating Conflict with Civility
Navigating Conflict with Civility Aug 4, 2026 1945 In this episode Dr. Dennis Becker and Robin Golinski delve into the nuanced world of conflict and manipulation with special guest Michael Lee, director of the Civility Initiative at the College of Charleston. They explore the dynamics of conflict avoidance, the power of curiosity in defusing tension, and the importance of embracing healthy conflict. Michael shares his experiences from his podcast,
Robin and Dennis Talk Manipulation with Divorce Attorney Evan Schein
Robin and Dennis Talk Manipulation with Divorce Attorney Evan Schein Jul 22, 2026 2557 This episode features Robin and Dennis’s appearance on the Schein On podcast. Host Evan Schein interviews them about their 2021 book, Outwitting the Manipulator: Protecting Yourself in Real Time, which identifies 24 common manipulation tactics and focuses on defending yourself while manipulation is happening. Robin shares that the book was inspired by her own experience being manipulated and empha

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