Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen
Writer Elise Loehnen explores life’s big questions with today’s leading thinkers, experts, and luminaries: Why do we do what we do? How can we understand and love ourselves better? What would it look like to come together and build a more meaningful world? Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media.
Episodes
Why Do We Devalue Aesthetic Intelligence? (Chloe Redmond Warner)
Chloe Redmond Warner is a very talented interior designer—and one of my closest childhood friends. To celebrate the launch of her special book This Must Be the Place, which is about how to design a home with personality, I got to interview Chloe at Godmothers bookstore. This episode is adapted from our live conversation, in which Chloe is her usual hilarious and brilliant self. She shares some of
The Secret Ingredient to Be More Creative (David Epstein)
David Epstein is a journalist and the #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Inside the Box (which we’re talking about today), Range, and The Sports Gene. He tells some fascinating stories that he uncovered during his research that challenge or complicate a lot of cultural perceptions about: freedom (often, sadly, the death knell of creativity!), originality and innovation (turns out there is an
Is "Churn" Ruining Our Relationships? (Claude Steele, PhD)
Claude Steele is a social psychologist, a professor of psychology at Stanford University, and the author of Churn: The Tension That Divides Us and How to Overcome It. Churn refers to the stress we often feel in diverse settings in everyday life; it’s the psychological reaction to being under identity threat—which is something we can all experience based on any myriad number of identity factors. St
On Finding Our Soul’s Vocation (James Hollis, PhD)
If you’ve been tuning into July’s special series of sorts, thank you, and I hope you’ve also been enjoying revisiting these conversations from the archives, or maybe you’re discovering them for the first time. Today, we have a big one with Jungian analyst James Hollis, PhD, who is the author of many, many books that are incredibly meaningful to me. And this conversation still lives up to how much
Do You Need to Put Yourself in Order? (Monthly Solo)
I’m thrilled to be back on the podcast mic again—I’ve been healing from a double mastectomy and I’m doing well! Thank you to everyone who has been thinking of me. This update covers: the surgery experience, the energy healers and lymphatic masseuse I’ve been working with, a few essential things I bought for the recovery phase, something my friends did that was a huge help, and the mini revelations
Putting Action Before Contemplation (Richard Rohr)
This special episode initially ran early in 2025 but I wanted to bump it up for those of you who missed it and also because I honestly think Richard Rohr is worthy of a re-listen. If you’re not already familiar with Richard Rohr, he’s a wonderful Franciscan friar, the founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation, and one of my most profound teachers. I really loved and highly recommend his b
When Stress Becomes Illness (Gabor Maté, MD)
Gabor Maté, MD, is renowned for his work on addiction, stress, trauma, and understanding and healing from illness. He has written several books, including The Myth of Normal. As part of a special series of sorts this month, I’m turning back to a conversation I had with him a few years ago about his perspective on the relationship between how we live, the culture we live in, and our health.
For
Conflict as a Tool for Growth (Esther Perel)
I believe this is the most-listened-to episode ever on Pulling the Thread. It’s a conversation that I had with therapist Esther Perel in 2023 that still stands to this day—but that’s Esther for you. I think it also highlights how difficult it remains for many of us to get comfortable with conflict in our relationships, and to disagree and even fight, productively, with someone else. Whether you te
Struggle Is Real—Suffering is Optional (BJ Miller, MD)
Hi, friends. For those who are interested, I’m saying more about this in my solo episodes, but as I was preparing to recover from a non-life-threatening (and yet major) health surgery, I spent some time thinking about what would be meaningful to share with you all for the next few weeks or so. And I landed on a shortlist of conversations that I’ve had on Pulling the Thread over the years that reso
A Life Update (Monthly Solo)
I spent the past month largely recovering from a (successful) double mastectomy—it was very intense, and I also had amazing care, from my team at UCLA, and from my family and friends. I am healing well and my prognosis couldn’t be better—I’m very lucky that intervention was early and I am not fighting for my life. I recorded this episode before my surgery—I did this for a number of reasons: to rec
Getting Out of the Unconscious Loyalty Trap (Mark Wolynn)
Mark Wolynn is a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, the director of the Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco, and author of the recently updated classic It Didn't Start with You (there’s also now a companion workbook). I find his work endlessly fascinating. Here, he helps us see how inherited family trauma, attachment trauma, and unconscious loyalty is often unknowingly af
Reckoning with the End of a Relationship (Belle Burden)
After the shocking end of her marriage, Belle Burden chose not to let herself get erased. Today, we talk about what she chose instead and the person she’s evolved into since writing her stunning memoir Strangers. Burden reminds me that while we can’t always understand why people do what they do, we can learn to live tethered to our own truth.
For the show notes, head to my website.
Learn more a
What’s Behind Lasting Attraction? (Paul Eastwick, PhD)
I had so much fun reading psychologist Paul Eastwick’s book Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection. A lot of his work reveals the enduring myths that are engrained in our culture and our minds about attraction, compatibility, gender differences, and relationships—and why these myths have been somewhat mistakenly connected to evolutionary psychology. The way he debunks these my
Why Women Need Fairytales Now (Sharon Blackie, PhD)
“That’s the kind of story, that's the kind of image that I'm talking about—that really just sinks into you and won’t let go,” says psychologist Sharon Blackie. Today, Blackie returns to discuss her new book Ripening: Why Women Need Fairytales Now. Once again, her perspective is helping me make sense of who we are at different stages of our lives.
Sharon's first episode on Pulling the Thread: "H
The Promise of Dark Retreat (Andrew Holecek)
“We’re all addicted to light,” says Andrew Holocek, author of Total Eclipse of the Mind: Unleashing the Power of Darkness for Creativity, Healing, and Transformation. “We’re all light junkies in the deepest possible way. And so because we're so lost in the light, blinded by the light, that I think the pendulum is swinging back. And there's a deep intimation, it may be inarticulate for a number of
Taking Your Foot Off the Gas (Monthly Solo)
As I’m heading into a series of initiations, I’m sharing a few challenges (opportunities!) that I’m sure many of you are familiar with: our struggle to prioritize ourselves, worrying over what will happen if I slow down, wanting to have faith in myself in the way that I have faith in other people and in the world. In this month’s solo episode, I’m also sharing a bit about my upcoming move from Sub
Designing Your Own Ritual (Bruce Feiler)
New York Times–bestselling author Bruce Feiler is back after just a few years with another great one, A Time to Gather: How Ritual Created the World—and How It Can Save Us. Today, he reveals what he’s learned about the rise of reinvented rituals. He shares some incredible stories of people around the world who are creating rituals for all kinds of moments—from celebrating professional and personal
The Most Dangerous Idea Ever Created (Ibram X. Kendi, PhD)
Ibram X. Kendi, is the author of the #1 New York Times–bestseller How to Be an Antiracist. His new book is Chain of Ideas: The Origins of Our Authoritarian Age. It is incredibly insightful and illuminating in terms of mapping out how we got to where we are, around the world. And what Kendi shares in our conversation today is also quite helpful in terms of pointing us in a new direct
Not Operating by the Checklist (Stacey Lindsay)
I met Stacey Lindsay about a decade ago and worked with her for a few years—she’s a curious, compassionate journalist and writer—but I didn’t know much of her own incredible personal story until I read her new book Being 40 and had this conversation with her. We talked about the meaning of this decade of our lives, but more broadly, we talked about the scripts and checklists that women a
Solving Medical Mysteries—and the Diagnosis Crisis (Alexandra Sifferlin)
In 2018, health and science journalist Alexandra Sifferlin began her investigation into the American diagnosis crisis: Why are so many people being misdiagnosed? What is the cost of this error? Who is trying to change the system—and what does a better healthcare system (for all of us) look like? The resulting book—The Elusive Body—is a fascinating read. Today, we cover the major parts of Sifferlin
Could We Accept Stillness? (Monthly Solo)
I had some personal highs this April, and also a strange feeling (for me, someone who is constantly in motion, always moving forward) of being a bit unmoored—a reminder of needing to wait, of letting cycles be, of accepting stillness (or trying to, at least). I’ve also been thinking of a (related) Carissa Schumacher metaphor—the idea that each of us prefers a different part of the cycles of life:
What’s Your “Why”? (Rachel Goldberg-Polin)
In her moving and beautiful book, When We See You Again, Rachel Goldberg-Polin writes about her love for her son, Hersh, who was stolen from a musical festival on October 7, 2023, and executed after 328 days of being held hostage. While I completely understand the instinct to turn away, I also really hope you will stay with us for this conversation, if you can. Rachel is incredible, and there
Changing Your Attachment Style (Amir Levine, MD)
Psychiatrist Amir Levine, MD, is the coauthor of the mega-bestseller Attached. In his new book, Secure, he takes another look at the four attachment styles and the myths surrounding them to show how each of us—regardless of our starting point—can flex and become more secure in our relationships. In this (delightful) conversation, he also explains why certain seemingly insignificant minor
A Numerologist Predicts the Future (Janine Slome)
I had a fascinating numerology reading with Janine Slome, and have been wanting to get her on the podcast for some time. Here, she shares a brief background on numerology, and why the practice can serve as both a potent portrayal of life and a map to guide you along your path. We also talk about karma—where it comes from, the different types, what to do about it. And Slome shares several predictio
How Change Really Happens (Eric Zimmer)
“I think we can take the same mindset to any change that we make, which is that getting off track is not something in you, it's part of the process itself,” says Eric Zimmer, host of the podcast The One You Feed. “And so the question just becomes, how do I get back on track with the minimum amount of emotional drama?” In this conversation, and in his new book, How a Little Becomes a Lot, Zimm
The Elements of Intuition (Monthly Solo)
In my latest episode sans guest: What I learned from a new Yeshua journey with medium Carissa Schumacher. Why it’s difficult for many of us to actually listen. Why I prefer the concept of contribution over purpose. One of my favorite stories recounted by Michael Meade about the old woman at the end of the world. A reflection on what’s your thread to add. A framework for understanding power and dif
Are You Mad at Me? (Meg Josephson, LCSW)
Meg Josephson is a psychotherapist and the author of the instant New York Times–bestseller, Are You Mad At Me? In her own life and in her work with clients, she’s come to focus on why many of us have an overactive fawn response. (You’re likely familiar with the other classic responses: fight, flight, freeze, and perhaps faint.) The fawn response can look different depending on the p
The Deep Need for Individuation (Satya Doyle Byock)
One of my favorite repeat guests is back: I’m talking to psychotherapist Satya Doyle Byock about the duality of individuation and community. We get into the difference between individuation and individualism, and why it’s critical for all of us to individuate—to go on our own journeys—so that we can genuinely be a part of the collective, and not just subject to herd mentality. We also chat about o
Remembering How to Play—Even When We're All Grown-Up (Cas Holman)
“This is, I think, when people need more help remembering how to access their play or kind of letting themselves play—because adults do play,” says Cas Holman, a world-renowned designer and the author of Playful: How Play Shifts Our Thinking, Inspires Connection, and Sparks Creativity. Today, we talk a bit about Holman’s unique approach to play for kids, but mostly we talk about what she’s doing t
When We’re in the Middle of the Story (Terry Tempest Williams)
“Glorians are unearned, unbidden, freely given,” says legendary author and mentor Terry Tempest Williams. “And to me that's also what grace is—those moments of grace that we didn't anticipate, we didn't deserve, we couldn't have imagined. And here they are. And I think that's another element that is deeper than hope. And do we recognize grace when it comes in all its different manifestations?” For
The 3 Great Insights of Kabbalah (Daniel Matt, PhD)
“And that may be its greatest contribution—to insist that God is equally male and female,” says Daniel Matt, PhD, a scholar and teacher of Kabbalah. Matt shares radical revelations, some dangerous reinterpretations, and beautiful lessons from the mystical teachings of Kabbalah and the Zohar (which is the main book, or as Matt calls it, the masterpiece of Kabbalah).
For the show notes, head to
How Do We Respond to Evil? (Monthly Solo)
I’m reflecting more deeply on evil in the present moment: What is evil? What’s our relationship to it? How do we increase our tolerance for acknowledging dark energies so that we can moderate and metabolize them—and keep ourselves and others safe? This episode is not meant to scare; my intention is really the opposite, as I don’t find fear to be helpful here. I’ll be sharing a few sources and ways
Past-Life Memories, Near-Death Experiences, and More (Marieta Pehlivanova, PhD)
Marieta Pehlivanova, PhD, is a research scientist at the University of Virginia’s Division of Perceptual Studies (DOPS), which is a highly unique research group that investigates the mind’s relationship to the body, and the possibility of consciousness surviving physical death. They study children who report past-life memories, people who have near-death experiences, and more. Their work is fascin
Who Else Is in Our Cosmic Neighborhood? (Avi Loeb, PhD)
“I think that we are most likely to benefit from such an encounter than to suffer from it,” says physicist Avi Loeb, PhD, who describes himself as an optimist in the search for extraterrestrial intelligence. Today, Loeb shares: What astronomy and dating have in common. His theories on the three interstellar objects that have been observed (including 3I/ATLAS). Why it’s likely that other intelligen
Life’s Lightning-Bolt Moments (Lucy Kalanithi, MD)
Lucy Kalanithi, MD, continues to instill hope in me. Today, she shares lessons from her life and her work as a primary care physician (she’s also Clinical Associate Professor of Medicine at Stanford University)—along with reflections on the legacy of her husband Paul Kalanithi, MD, who wrote the now canonical memoir When Breath Becomes Air before his death in 2015.
For the show notes, head to
How to Matter—To Yourself and Others (Jennifer B. Wallace)
Journalist and bestselling author Jennifer B. Wallace shares the key ingredients to feeling like you matter, and to making others feel like they matter, too. She covers my favorite stories and stats from her new book Mattering, along with the practical tools, habits, and practices she leans on in her own life. We talk about the importance of putting a bow on things; how we can use the mattering le
How Spiral Dynamics Can Help Us Respond Right Now (Monthly Solo)
In this month’s solo episode, I’m sharing more about the model of developmental psychology that I’m finding incredibly useful right now: Spiral Dynamics. As a framework, I think it can help us understand our world and culture better—and it can guide us in the best, and most effective ways to respond to it.
If you want to go deeper into Spiral Dynamics, there is a ton more for you in the show not
Letting Money Stories Go (Tori Dunlap)
Tori Dunlap is the author of Financial Feminist and the host of the podcast of the same name. She has a very compelling way of helping women to effectively approach (and earn) money, while addressing underlying emotions, traumas, triggers, and stories. I think you’ll find her advice helpful if: You’ve ever been told, or thought, that you’re bad with money. You feel like you need to justify any spe
How to Grow Your Soul (Michael Meade)
Michael Meade is a groundbreaking storyteller, author, and scholar of mythology, anthropology, and psychology. He blew my mind with a historical gem that he shared in this conversation. I was also moved by his perspective on our “crisis of masculinity” and the manosphere, what might be the antidote to monoculture, and why the hero’s journey is a bit of a fallacy. And, even more so, his case and ho
Pulling The Thread Presents: Super Traits from Kelly Corrigan Wonders
Kelly Corrigan Wonders recently launched a 6-part series called Super Traits, featuring conversations with people like NBA coach Steve Kerr, writer George Saunders, and do-gooder Father Greg Boyle, all masters of the super traits. These deep dives are one part inspiration and one part How To guide on how to get yourself in the right headspace for a great 2026. Tune in to hear fantastic conversatio
Are You Always Saying “No” to Yourself? (Liz Moody)
”That’s what everything comes back to for me—are you feeling the way that you want to feel every single day?” says podcast host and author Liz Moody. “And if you’re not, how can I give you more tools and more resources to do so?” Here, I asked Moody to share her life mottos, philosophies, habits, and ways of thinking that I find particularly compelling. Such as: Your body is for living, not looki
What Every Astrological Sign Should Know for 2026 (Jennifer Freed, PhD)
Psychological astrologer Jennifer Freed shares a preview of 2026, her tips for each sign, and, of course, many more nuggets of her signature wisdom.
For the show notes, head to my Substack.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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3 Things to Leave Behind (Monthly Solo)
Here’s my take on New Year’s resolutions and what I think many of us are ready to resolve and let go of.
For the show notes, head to my Substack.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Here’s a Fun One for the Holidays (Nora McInerny)
This week—for some joy, levity, and laughs—I asked my very funny friend to keep us company. Nora McInerny is an author and the host of the podcast Thanks for Asking. Today, she’s sharing some holiday traditions that would be fun to try out with your family or friends, along with a minimal gift-giving method that truly impressed me. We talk TV show recommendations for the season, personality survey
Things That Are Hidden from Us (Anna Malaika Tubbs, PhD)
Anna Malaika Tubbs is the New York Times–bestselling author of The Three Mothers and Erased. Today, we talk about some of the cultural forces and figures that have certainly shaped us—but that have largely been hidden from us.
For the show notes, head to my Substack.
Get 50% off Monarch, the all-in-one financial tool, at www.monarch.com/thread.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information
A Psychic Medium on What’s Ahead (Carissa Schumacher)
This is an unusual episode with one of my favorite psychic mediums, Carissa Schumacher—who is also a channel for Yeshua, or Christ Consciousness. Wild, I know! Here, Carissa is sharing insights pertaining to what is going on in our upside-down world currently, and what is ahead for us in 2026 (and even beyond, going into 2027 and 2028). She covers the major themes of the new era we’re entering, an
How to Release Your Burdens (Thomas Hübl, PhD and Richard Schwartz, PhD)
Two of my favorite teachers started collaborating with one another to help us to individually, and collectively, release our burdens, heal, and deepen connection: Internal Family Systems (IFS) founder Richard Schwartz and group facilitator Thomas Hübl. Today, they share their process, helpful exercises and tools, and more from their new book, Releasing Our Burdens.
For links to my previous episod
The 3 Major Bridges in Your Life (Lisa Miller, PhD)
“ We know in clinical science, there is nothing that is a quarter as protective against suffering as spirituality,” says psychologist Lisa Miller, PhD, author of The Awakened Brain. Miller shares poignant research and patient experiences that changed the way she thought about mental health, and her life. She outlines three significant windows in our lives—and how we might approach each. And she al
Are We in the Presence of the Trickster? (Monthly Solo)
In November’s solo episode: A major reframe I had. What you might learn from the Trickster archetype. Little ways I’m finding meaning in the universe. Other ways of thinking about the process of evolution and change. How we might hold inspiration and discernment at once—and why this is crucial. Thoughts on the guru-ification of our culture and other things happening in our upside-down world. The (
How to Let Go of the Desire to See People Punished (James Kimmel, Jr.)
James Kimmel, Jr., PhD, is an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine and the author of The Science of Revenge. He’s known in part for identifying compulsive revenge seeking as an addiction. He explains how perceived wrongs, grievances, and revenge desires—and how we deal with them, or not—affect us all. Actually trying to get revenge is pretty much always a lost
How to Follow Messages from the Other Side (Laura Lynne Jackson)
Renowned psychic medium Laura Lynne Jackson shares how each of us can use our own intuition and respond to messages from our teams of light, as she calls them, to live a more meaningful, connected, and fun life. She also shares the download she received from the other side that prompted her to write her new book Guided, which follows her New York Times bestsellers Signs and The Light Between Us.
Understanding the Masks we Wear (Satya Doyle Byock)
“We’re in a time of masking and masks, whether we know it or not,” says psychotherapist Satya Doyle Byock. “And my hope is that us talking about it draws that into greater consciousness for people to make decisions about when to put them on and when to take them off.” Today, we’re talking about persona, in the sense of the masks we wear for various reasons (some beneficial, some nefarious). And, h
Psychic Espionage, Bending Spoons, and Going Back in Time (Dean Radin, PhD)
“I believe basically what I’ve seen in the laboratory,” says scientist Dean Radin, PhD. “I'm driven by experience just like anybody else, except my experience is experiment.” Radin studies things like telepathy, consciousness, quantum physics, and more parapsychology. He shares some of the most fascinating discoveries from his lab, broader research, and new book The Science of Magic. Such as, how
What I Realized While Doing a Manifestation Program (Monthly Solo)
In my one episode sans guest this month, I’m reflecting on: how we might enjoy solitude more (and fear loneliness less), the manifestation program I just finished (called the Money Challenge), how I’m feeling about attention and power these days, and a couple of other micro and macro realizations that are surfacing right now.
For the show notes, head over to my Substack.
See omnystudio.com/listen
A Deeper, Simpler Manifestation Process (Jessica Gill)
“There are so many blessings in the in-between,” says Jessica Gill, chief content officer at To Be Magnetic and cohost of the Expanded podcast with Lacy Phillips. “You can manifest amazing mini manifestations or just kismet opportunities or these things that you wouldn't even believe would transpire in the midst of doing this work.” Today, Gill breaks down the deeply intuitive—and simple, but not
Getting Out of the Self-Justification Trap (Carol Tavris, PhD)
Social psychologist Carol Tavris, PhD, breaks down cognitive dissonance, why it’s so hard for us to see our own blind spots, the power and danger of self-justification, and the pyramid of choice that can lead us to some unexpected places. She also shares some fascinating findings about anger and catharsis that turn a few assumptions on their head. In doing so, she helps us understand our own behav
Do We Misunderstand the Point of Monogamy? (Dan Savage)
Longtime sex-advice columnist and author Dan Savage shares how he thinks about monogamy, marriage, infidelity, and repair. We explore how sex and relationships get conflated. We get into identities, orientations, preferences, language, and how we’re raising kids today. Also, Savage’s take on heteropessimism, what makes a man an attractive partner, and a word he introduced me to: tolyamory, meaning
The Intrinsic Order that Emerges from Within Chaos (Elinor Dickson, PhD)
“We have to let go of our own patriarchy,” says Elinor Dickson. “And we’re afraid to because it represents control for us.” Dickson spent more than 35 years as a Jungian therapist, and she cowrote the seminal Dancing in the Flames with her good friend Marion Woodman. She’s one of the wise elders of our time. We explore the new universal mythos our culture so badly needs, Dickson’s fascinating hist
Using Triangulation to Better Understand Yourself (Monthly Solo)
In this month’s solo episode, I’m exploring the parts of our culture and our collective that we can own—and impact. And I’m sharing more on the power of triangulation, and how you can use certain systems and tools to better understand yourself, your roles, and what you might be trying to do in work and in life.
For ALL the show notes, head over to my Substack.
See omnystudio.com/listener for priv
Rebuilding a Life (Jen Hatmaker)
The hilarious Jen Hatmaker (New York Times–bestselling author and host of the podcast For the Love) joins me to chat, in part, about her new memoir Awake. We talk about the moment in her life when everything seemingly dissolved (including her marriage of 26 years and her relationship to the church) and the much deeper awakening that she entered from there, when she truly started to rely on herself
What’s Your Zone of Genius? (Katie Hendricks, PhD)
Katie Hendricks, PhD, is known for helping people use their body’s innate intelligence. She shares some of her most powerful tools and teachings, including: Her fear-melters for when we get caught in fight, flee, freeze, or faint mode. How to play with your pace so that you’re able to get present, instead of just feeling at the effect of everything coming at you. The loop of awareness, which is a
Chasing Love (Elizabeth Gilbert)
“I don't think anybody manages to go through their experience incarnated in human form and not have chapters of your life that are like, what literally just happened?” says Elizabeth Gilbert. “How did I end up here and who am I? And where did the ground go beneath my feet?” Today, Gilbert shares the story behind her new memoir, All the Way to the River: Love, Loss, and Liberation. She rightly desc
Stop Trying to Kill the Ego (Satya Doyle Byock)
“This waiting for approval from daddy—all of that is so antithetical to actually living your own existence,” says psychotherapist Satya Doyle Byock. Today, Byock returns for a conversation about the ego, why it gets a bad rap, and why we need a strong sense of self to be in relationship with anyone. Also: our culture’s ascension myth, and why we have a tendency to misinterpret Jungian psychology a
7 Tools for Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness (Courtney Smith)
“What does it mean to make change in my life—not from a place that there was something wrong with me?” asks my coauthor Courtney Smith. “But I made choices that have gotten me here. I respect and value those choices. I understand I wouldn’t be here without them. And I'm also choosing to do something a little bit different going forward.” Courtney is a coach, group facilitator, and Enneagram expert
4 Things I Learned This Summer (Monthly Solo)
Today it’s just me, sharing a few revelations I’ve had this summer around: The set ages we seemingly get stuck at. Emotions I’m connecting to for the first time in my life (and how certain codes of anger have helped me). How busyness impacts our physical patterns and the way we hold our bodies, or clench our weight. And practicing rejection and building our capacity to hear no, while simultaneousl
There Are Two Moves When Faced with Uncertainty (Francis Weller)
“We’re not empty containers just being filled up with fear and terror and trauma,” says psychotherapist Francis Weller. “We’re also medicine carriers.” Many of you will know Weller from his moving conversations about grief with Anderson Cooper, or his beautiful book The Wild of Edge of Sorrow. Weller’s new book, In the Absence of Ordinary, is exactly what we need now. Today, we talk about the wisd
How to Fully Engage with the Rest of Your Life (Sharon Blackie, PhD)
“If we stop transforming, and we try to hold ourselves back, we’re effectively stagnating and killing the life that’s ahead,” says psychologist and author Sharon Blackie, PhD. Today, we talk about what Blackie has learned from studying myths and fairy tales, and working to reimagine the stories that currently define women’s lives. She shares a much-needed, wise, and beautiful perspective on the re
The 63-Second Chance to Rewire Your Brain (Caroline Leaf, PhD)
“We can’t change what’s happened, but we can change what it looks like inside of our mind-brain-body network,” says neuroscientist Caroline Leaf, PhD. Here, Leaf shares what she’s learned about how our minds work, and how we can change a thought, a habit, a pattern. And we get into the compelling 63-second intervention from her new book, Help in a Hurry: Simple Tips for Finding Peace When You're O
When We’re Committed to the Most Extreme Reaction (Thomas Hübl, PhD)
Thomas Hübl (a frequent guest here) is a renowned teacher whose work has focused on resilience and healing trauma. In this conversation, we explore: Some of our biggest fractured interpretations of the world, and how we can gain more clarity and connection. The impulse to become very certain about something very quickly, and our tendency to see other people in 2D—and the consequences of doing so.
So You Want to Write a Book? (Monthly Solo)
In this month’s solo episode, I’m sharing some thoughts on why everyone seems to want a book under their belt, why that may or may not be the right move for you, as well as concrete tips and takeaways about what to think through before you begin putting words on paper. Most importantly, I share some tips and frameworks for getting you through the creative process once you begin.
For the show note
Who Am I If I’m Not Pleasing Anyone? (Meggan Watterson)
Today, I’m talking to Meggan Watterson—theologian and author of The Girl Who Baptized Herself—about the importance of being embodied, the search for self, where we derive power, and the way that culture is edited and passed down to us. Watterson tells the incredible stories behind the Gospel of Mary (and what happened to Mary Magdalene), and the Acts of Paul and Thecla (and what happened to Thecla
How to Be an Effective Idealist (Rutger Bregman)
Rutger Bregman is the New York Times–bestselling author of Moral Ambition. Today, he shares his model for living a more meaningful life. It’s not about being an idealist, or following your “passions.” It is, in many ways, about effectively solving the problems in our lives using the talents we already have.
For Rutger Bregman’s work (including that amazing viral Davos clip, in case you missed it)
What Would Happen If We Related to Money Differently? (Elizabeth Ralph)
“What matters is: Are you free?” asks Elizabeth Ralph. “Do you feel free?” Ralph is a former finance trader, and the founder of the Spiritual Investor, where she now helps people reach financial freedom in less traditional ways. Together, we explore some of my own (self-limiting) stories around money, and how our ego and identity gets wrapped up in our relationship to money. Ralph coaches us throu
The Gold of Midlife (Chip Conley)
“The midlife crisis is not a dark night of the soul,” says Chip Conley, founder of the Modern Elder Academy. “It’s a dark night of the ego.” Conley, who is also the author of Learning to Love Midlife, outlines the main myths that we’re led to believe about midlife—and some optimistic data about what actually happens during this chapter of our lives. He shares different frameworks for navigating th
Is This Our Push Up the Spiral? (Monthly Solo)
In this month’s solo episode, I’m sharing: The tools and people helping me to manage my fear right now. Thoughts on growing up versus waking up. The most important things I’ve learned from the Spiral Dynamics theory of human development, and Ken Wilbur’s concept of holarchies. What makes me believe there is a way for many of us to expand our worldviews and push up the spiral now. And more.
For
How to Think About Genius (Helen Lewis)
In her new book, The Genius Myth, journalist Helen Lewis explores how and why we label certain people geniuses; and the impact this has on said geniuses, us, and culture at large. Today, we talk about our perception of the exceptional, and some of our more pernicious and dark misperceptions.
For the show notes, head over to my Substack.
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A Formula for Coming Alive (Shannon Watts)
“Living on fire is really a metaphor for figuring out two things,” says Shannon Watts. “What is limiting you. And what is calling you.” Watts spent 11 years as the full-time volunteer lead of Moms Demand Action, which she founded. Now, as she puts it, Watts continues to summon the audacity of other women. Today, she shares so many useful life nuggets from her new book, Fired Up: How to Turn Your S
Finding Faith in our Future (Krista Tippett)
“You're going to find a lot of people doing their best, revealing how beautiful and strange we are, and how remarkable we can be,” says Peabody Award-winning broadcaster and founder of On Being Krista Tippett. In this conversation, Tippett shares where we might turn for more hope and pleasure, and how she thinks about what shapes our presence in the world.
For the show notes, head over to my Su
Should Romantic Love Be at the Center of Our Lives? (Melissa Febos)
In her new memoir, The Dry Season, Melissa Febos (award-winning author of Girlhood) examines her (and our culture’s) relationship to love, to falling in love with someone, to being in love with someone. Today, we talk about why she decided to spend a year celibate after a particularly rough breakup, and what more she wanted from a relationship, from herself, and for her life. We talk about being c
Moving Away from Hierarchy (Danielle Gibbons)
Okay, this is a wild one. Danielle Gibbons is not a psychic, but she is a channel—she channels messages from Mother Mary. Today, she’s sharing her origin story, and a message from Mother: about how to create something sustainable and meaningful, adapt to these ever-evolving times, and find a little bit of beauty right now.
For the show notes, head over to my Substack.
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