THE PDA PARENT PODCAST
Calm Parenting Podcast 29 episodes Nov 10, 2026
The PDA Parent Podcast helps parents support children with Pathological Demand Avoidance, or PDA. Host Kirk Martin, a PDA dad, shares insights, strategies, and real-life experience aimed at helping kids build confidence and capacity. The show focuses on approaches that avoid force, avoidance, and walking on eggshells. It is connected with CelebrateCalm.com/PDA.
Episodes
PDA Kids in Burnout: Healthy Alternatives to Only Using Screens #30
When your kids are overwhelmed, upset, or in burnout, how can you help them regulate their nervous system without using just screens? I want to give you several alternative action steps and practical scripts to use in these situations…so your kids learn healthy ways to regulate their nervous systems. This will also help us as parents model how to handle distress and discomfort. If you wan
Stop Daily Battles: After School, Homework, Bedtime, and Food Autonomy for PDA Kids. #29
Sometimes every afternoon and evening with a PDA child can be like walking through a minefield with multiple explosions. When every interaction is viewed through the lens of walking on eggshells to avoid placing a "demand," routines become forced, unnatural, and filled with anxiety. Learn creative new scripts and strategies to transform the most stressful parts of your day. P.S. Want
You Do Not Have to Active Or Accommodate Your PDA Child—There Is A Middle Ground #28
Have you been told that your only two choices with a PDA child are to either "activate" their nervous system or "accommodate" them to keep the peace? This rigid framework leaves parents walking on eggshells and kids feeling helpless. Instead of oscillating between controlling your child and surrendering through endless accommodations, you can guide them through discomfort, normalize their
Worried About Your PDA Child & Social Skills? Hope & A Different Perspective. #27
When our PDA kids opt out of group chats, sit alone at lunch, or skip school assemblies, our immediate parental reaction is to worry and try to "fix" their social skills. But what if we're measuring them against the wrong standard entirely? Instead of viewing social retreat purely as a deficit, we explore how PDA kids often possess incredible self-awareness, a low tolerance for superficia
What Your PDA Child Desperately Wants You to Know About Their Lives #26
When I resist, it’s not because I need control—it’s because I’ve had none. I’m not trying to make your lives harder. I’m trying to protect something essential inside me." In this short, but powerful episode, you will gain deep insight into what your child with PDA is really thinking and feeling. Please share with others. Want personal mentoring with me and extra insights about your c
Is PDA Really A Nervous System Disability? The Answer Has Profound Consequences. #25
I completely understand why empathetic parents and experts would claim that PDA is a nervous system disability. But I think it can lead to kids feeling a loss of autonomy, parents feeling paralyzed with indecision, and endless accommodations that make kids feel helpless instead of competent and confident. If PDA is not a nervous system disability, that is GOOD NEWS because it means we hav
The Secret to Motivate PDA Kids Internally When They Reject Every External Demand #24
Constant demand avoidance can leave you feeling exhausted and stuck. But behind the refusal lies an utterly fascinating internal world where your kids are building, tinkering, creating, designing, and wrestling with big ideas. Many kids with PDA are secretly pushing and challenging themselves in ways no external reward or consequence could ever match. Discover how shifting your
Dads: 8 Minutes To Become The Calm, Authoritative Leader Your Kids & Wife Respect #23
When your child digs refuses to listen, your instinct as a Dad is just like mine was: “I can’t let this kid get away with this. How will this child ever succeed in life?” That standard playbook backfires with these kids. So like a good quarterback, we call an audible to a play that works better. I promise if you will take on this challenge to try a different approach, it will become the g
I Am Concerned Our PDA Kids Won’t Launch In the Real World. Alternatives to Screens & Burnout. #22
I don’t do fear with parenting, but I am genuinely concerned about mainstream PDA advice that is handicapping many of our kids and robbing them of their childhood. Some recommend letting kids stay isolated in bedrooms and on screens for months. If this doesn’t sit right with you, then I want to provide some alternatives that I believe are actually more compassionate for our kids. I hope y
Everything Can Be Challenging With A Child with PDA! #21
What other parents take for granted can be a huge struggle for your child—and for you. Because you are likely that exhausted caregiver just trying to get through the day. I want to give you specific actions steps and the process we use to address tough issues like potty training, hygiene, eating, and more. I think you’ll find this case study practical and insightful. To get this kind of p
4 Options for Handling Tough Situations With PDA Kids #20
Your kids are going to resist, feel anxious about, want to quit, or refuse to try new experiences such as summer camp. There isn't just one way to handle this and it won't always work. And that's okay. I share four real life case studies to demonstrate how different parents and different kids responded to tough situations. I hope you find this insightful, practical, and encouraging.
PDA Kids Demanding & Saying Mean Things? 7 Minutes, 1 Big Idea. #19
Your child yells and demands that you bring them food or do something for them, and when you do, they berate you for not doing it right. The conventional wisdom is that your only options are to accommodate your child or you’ll trigger their nervous system. Those are NOT the only options—those are the extremes! I want to give you a middle ground so that you are not left feeling like a punc
Ask Your Child If You Have Pathological Demand Acceptance? #18
Many parents going through our PDA Parent Program said this question has helped them see their child with PDA in a completely different way and changed their relationship. A Dad said he’s been so busy trying to please others that he was embarrassed about his son’s behavior—this helped reframe how he saw his child’s demand avoidance. This is a short, but powerful episode I hope you’ll shar
Getting PDA Kids To Dentist, On Plane (I Disagree with “Not Won’t. Can’t.”) #17
How can you get kids with PDA to do hard things like go to the dentist or get on an airplane? The common sentiment, “Not Won’t. Can’t” can be debilitating for our kids when it becomes the reflexive response. In this episode, I give you alternate scripts and options to build your child’s confidence in the toughest situations. Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program at
PDA Kids Who Feel Wronged: 8 Ways To Deal With Unfairness & Losing At Board Games #16
Do you have a child with PDA who struggles with feeling wronged, who misinterprets others’ intentions, or who doesn’t deal well with unfairness like a brother getting a bigger scoop of ice cream or losing at board games? I want to give you very specific scripts and action steps to help your kids (and yourself!) to learn how to deal with unfairness, losing, and disappointment in life. Get
When Your PDA Child Struggles With Authority Figures At School #15
Your kids will and should struggle with a more authoritarian approach at school. They may roll their eyes at a teacher or resist that “because I said so” mentality. I want to give you some insight you can share with your child’s teachers AND a script your kids can use to advocate for themselves in a healthy way. Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program at ht
PDA & School: How To Help Teachers Help Your Child #14
How can we help teachers understand PDA? What specific tools will help our kids with PDA in the classroom? What is really important and what isn’t? I give you scripts and practical strategies. Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program athttps://celebratecalm.com/pdaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/p
Should You Let Your Kids Demand That You Bring Them Food? #13
I want to give you reasonable alternatives to delivering food to your child’s room AND a challenge that may or may not work…but would be fascinating to try! Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Why Your Child’s Fierce Autonomy is Good & How to Get Husbands/Siblings To Understand #12
If you misunderstand your child’s motives and need for autonomy, it will provoke fierce defiance, pain, and pushback. I want to show you exactly how to help kids who don’t always want to be helped; help siblings who may not understand why you give your child accommodations; and help a spouse who is reluctant and thinks you’re just letting your child get away with things. Get personal
Child Won’t Go Anywhere, Rejects School Work #11
You have been here before. You may be in this situation now. Your child has shut down and refuses to do anything. You can’t force, bribe, convince, or threaten. But I don’t want you to feel helpless. I share a real world case study with some big insights and strategies that may help you help your child feel confident and successful again. Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Par
Motivating A PDA Child? Discover What They Care About #10
Your kids will take risks, be vulnerable, do hard things, and use their big hearts when they care about something. But it can’t be at your urging and they don’t value the same things you do. So let’s discover how to internally motivate them! Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Ca
PDA, Perfectionism, Physical Illness & School Refusal #9
Do you have a child with PDA who struggles with perfectionism? This will cause our kids to lash out, get stuck, shut down, and be extremely frustrated. I want to give you 12 insights, action steps, and scripts to help your kids. For more information, visit https://celebratecalm.com/pda/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/priva
We Got Our PDA/ADHD/ND Son Off Screens & Out of the House! #8
Some kids refuse to get off screens or go to school. Some refuse to leave their room. I know you never envisioned your home life being this challenging. Maybe you thought you’d have a few power struggles with your kids over the years, but nothing like this. I want you to know you’re not alone and it’s not your fault. I also want to give you practical ideas to make progress so both you and
Hygiene & Bedtime Struggles with PDA Kids? 5 Quick, Creative Ideas #7
Does your child struggle with taking a shower, brushing teeth, and bedtime? This can be debilitating and cause daily stress and power struggles—and tension between parents. I want to share a huge insight at the root of this that you may not have considered AND some practical strategies to help with hygiene and more. Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program at https://
Getting A Child With PDA (And Their Parents) Unstuck #6
It is so common for us to feel stuck as parents or paralyzed with fear when your child with PDA is resisting, shutting down, or anxious. But giving kids too much autonomy with tools can leave them feeling helpless. In this episode, I want to give you more options for handling tough situations so you can feel more confident leading…and your child can feel more competent handling tough situ
How to Address Unfairness When A Sibling Has ADHD, PDA, ND #5
Whether you have a child with ADHD, PDA, Dyslexia, SPD or any other difference, siblings ARE going to feel like they are being treated unfairly. I want to give you very specific scripts and ways to reframe this family dynamic in healthy ways. (Be sure to check out CelebrateCalm.com/PDA for additional episodes on PDA). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Pri
Kids With PDA Are NOT Demand Avoidant #4
Kids with PDA do not avoid demands. They categorically reject external demands that are deemed unnecessary…in order to focus on completing projects that are very demanding internally. If we don’t understand this correctly, we will hurt and harm our kids. I think you will find this episode very insightful and helpful. Learn more about the Confident Parents, Confident Kids PDA Parent Progra
When PDA Kids Resist | What My Son Taught Me About Anxiety #3
This is what children with PDA often feel: “I already know I am struggling. I don’t want to hear that another person is 100% focused on MY anxiety. I already think I am weak for being afraid when other people aren’t…and now my mom and dad are just reinforcing how weak and scared I am.” I want to share unique strategies to help your PDA kids without the shame, pressure, or accommodations.
How To Get PDA Kids to Do Hard Things Without Accommodations #2
Our PDA kids will resist so many things. You can’t push, force, bribe, convince, or threaten them. It won’t work. But you can go way beyond giving accommodations or letting kids get away with things…and do hard things alongside your PDA child. There are lots of insights and practical strategies here you can use in daily life. Learn more about the Confident Parents, Confident Kids PDA Pare
What It Feels Like To Be A Child with PDA #1
Why do your kids feel so frustrated and misunderstood? Are they really demand avoidant and controlling? Or are we missing something? This short episode revealing what many kids with PDA really feel on a daily basis may be worth sharing with a reluctant spouse or your own child. This is an excerpt from the Confident Parents, Confident Kids PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pd
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