The D. Tales with Allison Kahler
Allison Kahler 41 episodes Nov 10, 2026
The D. Tales with Allison Kahler explores real divorce stories alongside grounded expert insight, helping listeners find clarity and move forward on their own terms. Episodes focus on the questions, doubts, and moments of reckoning that often accompany divorce, from deciding whether to stay or leave to wondering what is normal or whether one might regret the decision. Each show combines candid personal stories with conversations about the emotional, legal, and financial realities of divorce. The podcast aims to normalize the uncertainty and isolation many people experience, offering diverse perspectives rather than a single right answer.
Episodes
Ep. 41: So You Think You Want a Divorce — Where Do You Even Start?
Most divorces don't start with a decision. They start with "where do I even begin?" And from there to the final agreement, there's no instruction manual.Today's conversation with divorce coach and former family law attorney Molly Saxon explores the confusion of not knowing where to start, the "in-between" when lawyers are talking to lawyers, and why getting a roadmap can feel both reassuring and v
Ep. 40: I Let Go of the Marriage. Why Am I Still Holding On to My Dress? (Solo)
If you've kept your wedding dress, engagement ring or wedding photos after divorce, does it mean you haven't let go? Maybe. For me, the honest answer is complicated: the hardest things to release are the ones that really did spark joy.In this solo episode, I take Marie Kondo's famous question to the keepsakes from my marriage: “Does it spark joy?” I share what I've let go of so far, what I’m still
Ep. 39: Reimagining Retirement After Gray Divorce
Today's conversation with Andrew Hatherley takes us on his journey from seven years of separation and a plan to retire at 60 to launching "The Gray Divorce Podcast" at 59 instead. He shares what those seven years cost him, how he rebuilt his life and career — one small decision at a time — and why the question isn't when you can retire, but what you're retiring to.In this episode:Why Andrew’s sepa
Ep. 38: The High-Achieving Woman's Divorce — Anger, Burnout, and the Way Through
She out-earned, over-functioned, and held everyone together — and somewhere in there, the anger arrived with nowhere to go. Today's conversation with Certified Family Law Specialist Katie Padilla covers what that anger is actually telling you, how to wield it responsibly, and how collaborative divorce can keep it from boiling over into litigation.In this episode:How today’s high-achieving woman ca
Ep. 37: Do You Really Need a Divorce Lawyer — Or Can You DIY It?
Today's conversation with family law attorney and Hello Divorce CEO Erin Levine unpacks the three things that make divorce so hard — cost, conflict, and confusion — and why handling parts of it yourself may protect you more than lawyering up.In this episode:The 3 problems Erin built Hello Divorce to solve — cost, conflict, and confusion — and why the legal forms themselves set up a fight before an
Ep. 36: Let's Talk About Sex, Baby — Sexless Marriages and Mismatched Libido
Most of us have never said out loud what we actually want in bed — not to a partner, not to a friend, not to ourselves. Relationship coach Anna Howerton returns to the show to talk about a topic that often remains unspoken — sex. We’re talking sexless marriages, mismatched libido, sex as grounds for divorce — and what changes when you get to pick again.In this episode:Why sex is the thing that mak
Ep. 35: "Trust Your Gut" Is Useless If You Can't Hear It (Solo)
If someone has ever asked what your gut is telling you and you had absolutely no idea how to answer — this one's for you. In this solo episode, I share the coaching tool that helped me understand why that inner voice gets so hard to hear, and the voices that were running the show during my divorce.In this episode:Why the advice to just "trust your gut" can fall flat during divorce — the inner voic
Ep. 34: Can Mediation Work If Your Divorce Isn't Amicable?
Today's conversation with attorney and certified divorce mediator David Fein makes the case that mediation isn't reserved for couples who still get along — it's for anyone who'd rather shape their own agreement than let a judge take the simplest way out. And what you decide in mediation isn't permanent: it's a living document you can renegotiate as your family changes.In this episode:Why you don't
Ep. 33: Surviving a High-Conflict Divorce — and Thriving
This is a story about navigating a high-conflict divorce — and rebuilding your life at the same time. Claire Adamou left her home and moved into her sister's converted garage with her two young children. The night she hit rock bottom became the turning point where she took her power back. Claire shares how she stopped handing that power to her ex, why she started dating before her divorce was fina
Ep. 32: Reinventing the Life You Were Supposed to Want
Elise Madrick had the high school sweetheart, the Chicago suburb, the literal white picket fence — and had spent 14 years quietly abandoning herself to keep it. Today's conversation with the reinvention coach traces what it actually takes to leave the life you were supposed to want and to rebuild as someone new.In this episode:How one ordinary moment can make it clear a marriage is over — not beca
Ep. 31: What Actually Makes a "Good Divorce"
Today's conversation with Sarah Armstrong — author of “The Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce” — unpacks what actually makes a divorce a "good" one: not luck, and not a quiet settlement, but something parents can quietly design, one deliberate child-centered choice at a time.In this episode:What a "good divorce" really is — a phrase Sarah's seven-year-old daughter Grace coined — and why it's a posture
Ep. 30: Two Days Apart — My 41st Birthday and 8 Years Divorced (Solo)
In this solo episode, I'm celebrating my 41st birthday — which falls just two days before the 8th anniversary of my divorce. I reflect on a life that looks nothing like I once planned, and why this year I'm trading goal-setting and resolutions for presence, self-appreciation, and simply settling in.In this episode:Why the timing of my birthday and divorce anniversary feels bigger this year — I'm c
Ep. 29: Rewilding the Woman a Marriage Tried to Tame
Today's conversation with Nicole Marrè — women's empowerment coach and founder of Goddess Rewilding™ — traces her path out of a controlling marriage and into the work of helping women awaken to their wisest, wildest, and wholly feminine selves.In this episode:How a controlling marriage kept Nicole in constant fight-or-flight — and the neuroscience that explains why willpower alone couldn't free he
Ep. 28: Custody Battles: Legal Do's and Don'ts to Protect Your Kids and Your Sanity
Today's conversation with matrimonial attorney Mia Poppe blends hard-won legal wisdom with her own divorce experience to show that surviving a custody battle is as much about steadying your mind as building your case.In this episode:What "custody at issue" really means — and why mitigating the impact on your kids matters more than "winning"The documentation do's and don'ts — keep any journal at yo
Ep. 27: Indestructible — Becoming the Hero of My Own Story
When her life came apart, Ally Fallon did the only thing she knew how: she wrote it down. This is the story of how losing everything taught her she was indestructible.In this episode:The day everything became clear — how a discovery on her husband's iPad set off 48 hours of decisive actionWhy "you can be in love or in control, but not both" named what her marriage really wasHow confusion became th
Ep. 26: How to Tell People You're Getting Divorced — Without Regrets
You can always tell — but you can never untell. Today's conversation with therapist and author Oona Metz is a guide to talking about your divorce with intention: who to confide in while you're still deciding, how to tell the adults and kids in your life once you have, and how to signal it to the world without saying a word.In this episode:Why the two most common mistakes are opposite extremes — te
Ep. 25: Dear Diary — Getting Lost in France and Finding Myself
In this Dear Diary episode, I read back through the journals from a month I spent traveling France alone in 2017 — deep in the divorce contemplation season — and trace how a trip I took looking for answers became the one where I finally found myself.In this episode:The Art Institute afternoon that started it all — how a Jackson Pollock and Monet's haystacks cracked open the difference between seei
Ep. 24: Co-Parenting as a "Mommune" — Can Divorce Be Good for Kids?
When Bella, Sue, and Julia's marriages ended, they didn't just survive divorce — they built a "mommune": a chosen family of moms who show up at each other's doors, raise their kids as a team, and discovered the best thing to come out of their divorces was each other.In this episode:How three Long Island moms met in the middle of their own divorces and built My Two Homes — the support community tha
Ep. 23: This Is Your Brain on Divorce — What Psychedelics Actually Do
Today's conversation with psychedelic-assisted therapist Dr. Nick Brüss explores why divorce activates our most protective parts — rage, blame, the inner critic — and how healing comes from turning toward them rather than numbing them, with or without psychedelics.In this episode:Why "this is your brain on drugs" gets psychedelics backwards — what psychedelic-assisted therapy really does is help y
Ep. 22: Starting Fresh When Divorce Happens — with Olivia Howell
Today's conversation with Olivia Howell, CEO and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry, is about what it actually takes to begin again after divorce, why the hardest part isn't replacing what you lost, and why no one should have to start fresh alone.In this episode:The toothbrush holder that changed everything — how one small, ordinary object became Olivia's permission to claim a new life: "this is
Ep. 21: Prenups & Postnups — Does True Love Need Them?
Sparked by the cultural firestorm around Belle Burden's “Strangers,” today's conversation with matrimonial attorney and CDFA Lisa Zeiderman opens up the talk we avoid: prenups, postnups, and why the most loving move is having the hard money conversation before you need it.In this episode:What Belle Burden's “Strangers” teaches about financial blindness — and the choices we make out of loveWho actu
Ep. 20: My Adventures in Dating After Divorce — So Far (Solo)
In this solo episode, I'm spilling the tea on my own adventures in dating after divorce — approximately 27 first dates, 3 pseudo-relationships, 1 situationship, and the 5 lessons it's taught me so far.In this episode:Why this episode felt scarier to record than my divorce stories — recording from the "messy middle" while I'm still living itThe early days: electric first kisses, my 3-date curse, ge
Ep. 19: "My Body Woke Up" — Coming Out and Coming Home to Myself
After 25 years of marriage, Lisa Madsen's body "woke up" — and everything she thought she knew about love, marriage, and who she was came up for question.This is a story about coming out later in life, choosing to stay married while building a life with someone new, and discovering that when it comes to marriage, divorce, and family, there are no rules — you get to make them up.In this episode:The
Ep. 18: Overcoming Financial Anxiety in Divorce with the 6 Pillars of Intentional Money
Today's conversation with financial advisor and CDFA® Leah Hadley explores what it looks like to rebuild a relationship with money that supports the life you actually want — especially during divorce, when financial anxiety and avoidance can take over.In this episode:Why divorce creates a real cash-flow shock at every income level — the same income suddenly has to support two householdsThe 6 pilla
Ep. 17: Loneliness Isn’t Being Alone — It’s Being Disconnected From Yourself
Today’s conversation with holistic performance coach Dr. Brian Paris explores why loneliness isn’t the same thing as being alone — and how coming back to yourself changes everything about how you move through divorce, co-parenting, and love.In this episode:How Brian’s post-divorce loneliness revealed a deeper fear — “will I be alone forever?” — and what it showed him about self-connection“I master
Ep. 16: The Stories We Hide Behind — and the Ones That Set Us Free
This is a story about… stories. The stories we hide behind. The stories we get stuck in. The stories we tell to justify the other stories. And the honest ones that set us free — the kind that allow us to feel seen, connect with others, and unlock true intimacy.In this episode:Why the "resilience" Renee built at 6 was actually a shield — and how it shaped a marriage where neither she nor her then-h
Ep. 15: Dear Diary — The Day I Became Allison Kahler Again
D-Day — your divorce day — can be years in the making and over in minutes. In this second "Dear Diary" solo episode, I revisit my own D-Day through the journal entries I wrote in the days before, during, and after — one of the most life-changing, yet surprisingly anticlimactic, moments of my life.In this episode:The quote I journaled on my 33rd birthday — 2 days before my divorce was finalized — t
Ep. 14: Dismantling the Life You Built to Find the One That Fits
This is the story of a woman who spent years shrinking into boxes that weren't built for her — and turned the ending of nearly everything into the beginning of a life that's finally hers.In this episode:The unbelievable synchronicity of endings — finalizing her divorce, selling her business, and parting with her longtime nanny all in a single day — and the beautiful new beginning it opened up on t
Ep. 13: Healing Isn't Feeling Better — It's Feeling Everything
This is a story about a self-described "recovering nice guy" who spent decades outsourcing his self-worth — and how he learned that healing isn't feeling better, it's feeling everything.In this episode:How the sensitive kid underneath armored up behind toxic masculinity — and why that armor "doesn't discriminate" between what it keeps out and what it keeps inHow a first separation, a cancer diagno
Ep. 12: "Will I Be Okay?" — The Real Money Question in Divorce
Today's conversation with CFP® and CDFA® Bridget Borel unpacks what divorce money fears are really about — and why it's not "how much?" but "will I be okay?"In this episode:Why a financial professional experienced helplessness and shame around the money side of her own divorce — compounded by losing her mother at the same time"Money isn't math, and math isn't money" — how this reframe changes ever
Ep. 11: Inside Couples Therapy — Where Staying and Leaving Both Take Courage
Today's conversation with licensed marriage and family therapist Shelly Stover reframes what "success" looks like in couples therapy — and explores how grief, attachment styles, and agency shape the path forward, whether that's choosing each other or choosing yourself.In this episode:Why attachment is a strategy, not a label — and how the same person can show up differently in different relationsh
Ep. 10: Dear Diary — I Knew. I Just Didn't Trust That I Knew.
This is the first episode of what I'm calling "Dear Diary" — where I go back to my journals and share what I actually wrote during the hardest parts of my divorce. In this one, I revisit the contemplation years — and what I found is that I knew what I needed to do. I just didn't trust myself enough to do it.In this episode:The journal entries from early 2017 that reveal what I already knew — and c
Ep. 09: Regulating Your Nervous System in Divorce
Today's conversation with divorce attorney and mediator Mardi Chadwick-Balcom reframes divorce through the lens of the nervous system — and explores how staying regulated can change not just your experience, but also the outcomes you walk away with.In this episode:Mardi's early work in domestic violence law — and what it taught her about conflict, power, and the realities of family courtHer own di
Ep. 08: How Conscious Bachelorhood Can Help Men Heal
Today’s conversation with men’s coach Luke Entrup explores how divorce can become the catalyst for radical self-examination and personal transformation — and the role “conscious bachelorhood” can play in men’s healing and growth.In this episode:How a structured discernment process helped Luke and his then-wife identify their unmet needs — and determine whether they were truly capable of meeting ea
Ep. 07: Outgrowing the Only Love You've Ever Known
This is a story about outgrowing a love that shaped you — and realizing that love alone isn’t always enough to sustain a marriage.In this episode:Meeting at age 10, marrying at 27, and divorcing at 28 — growing up inside one love storyThe quiet voice that said something wasn’t right — even when nothing was “wrong”Cultural expectations, faith, and the martyr mindset that made leaving feel selfishTh
Ep. 06: Before You Sign — Protect Your Future and Your Peace
Today’s conversation with family law attorney and author Bree Sullivan-Howell explores what it takes to protect your future in divorce — without losing your peace or your faith in the process.In this episode:The costly mistakes people make when they sign divorce papers too quickly — and why some decisions can’t be undoneWhat it really means to “protect your future” in divorceWhy giving away your b
Ep. 05: Wearing the Divorce Badges Proudly
This is a story about what happens when an outcomes-driven approach to love falls apart — and what emerges when you stop trying to “make it happen” and finally “let it happen” instead.In this episode:Andrea’s initial shame of being divorced twice before 40 — and the power of owning her narrative insteadThe disconnect between the suburban fantasy she once imagined and the more authentic, “blissfull
Ep. 04: Why “Fair” Can Be the F-Word in Divorce
Today’s conversation with California attorney-mediator Melissa Farag explains why “fair” is often the wrong goal in divorce — and what actually leads to better outcomes.In this episode:How Melissa’s upbringing and her own divorce experience shaped her passion for mediationWhat people usually mean when they say they want a “fair” divorce — and why that goal often backfiresThe three phases of the di
Ep. 03: When Your Body Tells You It’s Time to Leave
Sometimes your body knows before your mind does.This is a story about listening to your body and intuition — and the permission it can take to follow what you already know.In this episode:Diana reflects on how childhood conditioning, religion, and cultural narratives shaped her understanding of love and marriageThe physical and emotional warning signs she ignored — and what her body was trying to
Ep. 02: From Unseen to Deeply Chosen — Finding Love Again
This is a story about the quiet ache of not feeling seen — and what it takes to find your way to being deeply chosen again.In this episode:Anna shares what it was like to marry young, grow up together, and slowly grow apartHow a life that looked picture-perfect on the outside still felt lonely on the insideThe moment she realized she wasn’t being seen — and couldn’t unsee itWhy divorce doesn’t hav
Ep. 01: Why I’m Telling My Divorce Story Now (Solo)
Divorce isn’t a single event — it’s often years in the making.In this solo episode of The D. Tales, I share my story of the long, lonely years of divorce — and the shame and fear that made them so hard to talk about.In this episode:Why my divorce felt less like a single event and more like a decade-long transitionHow perfectionism, faith, and expectations made silence feel safer than honestyWhat t
Trailer
The D. Tales with Allison Kahler is a podcast about divorce and rebuilding life on the other side — blending real divorce stories with grounded conversations with experts to help you find clarity and move forward with courage.Whether you’re quietly questioning, actively separating, or thoughtfully rebuilding, this show creates space for the questions most people carry alone — and reminds you that
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