Berner Phone
Comedian Des Bishop and special guests take calls from listeners, offering advice on pet peeves, secrets, life dilemmas, dating, and career questions. The podcast encourages audience participation via Instagram prompts, blending humor with real-life issues.
Episodes
Happy Accidents
This week, Des reacts to your butterfly effect moments. NEXT WEEK'S PROMPT: Weird things people have said while you're grieving, funeral stories, anything grief/death related! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbi
Your Prompt Suggestions
Des reacts to your prompt suggestions. Next week we're doing HAPPY ACCIDENTS - what was a moment in your life that changed everything for you, butterfly effect style? Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Faceb
Workplace Annoyances
Des reacts to what's bugging you at work this week. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy
Religious Trauma
This week, Des reacts to your religious trauma and gives a history lesson on the Irish famine. NEXT WEEK'S PROMPT: WHAT/WHO IS BUGGING YOU AT WORK? Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.f
Childhood Neglect
This week, Des decides whether or not the Dialers were neglected as children. NEXT WEEK'S PROMPT: RELIGIOUS TRAUMA / GOING TO YOUR RELIGIOUS FRIEND'S HOUSE Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https
Celebrity Rumors and High School Incidents
Des revisits some classic celebrity rumors and reacts to "the incidents" at your high schools. NEXT WEEK'S PROMPT: RELIGIOUS TRAUMA & MORE CELEB RUMORS! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https:/
Wedding Traditions That Need to End (with Kelsey Cook)
Des is joined by guest and newlywed Kelsey Cook to discuss wedding traditions that need to end. Watch Kelsey's new special HAPPY HOUR on Netflix! FOLLOW KELSEY: Tickets: https://punchup.live/kelseycook/tour Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kelseycookcomedy/ Pretend Problems Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pretend-problems/id1717496693 Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voi
Ghost Stories
This week, Des the non-believer reacts to your ghost stories. Give us some prompt suggestions in the comments! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/
Book Club Bonus: Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke
It's finally here - the Yesteryear episode. What book should we read next? Let us know in the comments! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbish
What's Bugging You?
Today, Des reacts to what's bugging the Dialers, plus some leftover call-ins from the past couple weeks. NEXT WEEK'S PROMPT: GHOST STORIES! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.
Things You Thought Every Family Did
This week, Des reacts to the weird things your families did that you thought were completely normal until you found out not everyone's family did them. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www
Things You Used To Judge People For
Today Des reacts to things you used to judge people for but don't anymore, like being a Karen, children crying in public, and counting a pregnancy in weeks. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https:
Mispronounced Words
This week, Des reacts to the Dialers' least favorite mispronounced words. We'll do another one of these episodes in the future - call in and comment below with more words! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop F
Things Your Teenage Self Would Be Embarrassed By
What do you do today that you think your teenage self would be embarrassed by? A few Dialers offer birdwatching, wearing granny panties, and gardening. Let us know in the comments what your teenage self would be embarrassed by! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/de
Annoying Sounds
Today, Des reacts to all the sounds that annoy the Dialers, like garbage trucks, kids coughing, and ASMR. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbi
Creative Insults & More Things We Believed As Kids
Today Des listens to your creative insults and some more things you believed as kids. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https:
Silly Things We Believed as Kids
Des reacts to silly things the Dialers believed as kids, like getting arrested for turning on the lights in the car and watermelon seeds growing in your stomach. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: h
Biggest Gripes of 2026 (So Far)
This week, Des is solo and responding to the Dialers' biggest complaints about 2026 so far. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube:
Funniest Things Said During Sex
This week, Des records solo from an undisclosed location and listens to voicemails about the funniest things people have said during sex. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/
What Generation Do You Wish You Grew Up In?
This week, Des listens to voicemails from Dialers who wish they grew up in a different generation. From club culture and technology to roller skating and funeral etiquette, Des explores what makes people long for another era. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desb
Niche Collections
This week, Des listens to voicemails about the strangest things people collect. From animal bones and troll dolls to rosary beads and matchboxes, the Dialers call in to share the unique collections they've built over the years. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/de
The Truth About GLP-1s, Peptides, and Fibermaxxing (Bonus Episode)
Surprise! It's a bonus episode! Dr. Elizabeth Kazarian joins Des to discuss GLP-1s, medical misinformation, and the overlap between politics and alternative health. Dr. Kazarian also shares insights on menopause and testosterone therapy, concerns about the peptide craze, and her hopes for expanded stem cell research. FOLLOW DR. K: https://www.instagram.com/drkazarian/ Call (917) 512-1758 to le
This Should Be Illegal
Des is solo this week, listening to voicemails answering the question: "What was normal in your childhood that's illegal today?" From leaving kids in the car and bringing them into bars to getting a bar of soap in your mouth for cursing, Des reacts to the Dialers' nostalgic stories from a very different time. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.liv
Des Solves Your Problems
Des is solo this week, giving advice to the Dialers on everything from how to handle a straight man making too many gay jokes to whether you should bring a gift to a destination wedding. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/des
Irrational Childhood Fears (with Vittorio Angelone)
This week, Des is joined by comedian Vittorio Angelone! They discuss childhood fears like sharks living in pools, quicksand, and getting drafted. FOLLOW VITTORIO: Tickets: https://vittorioangelone.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vittorioangelone YouTube: www.youtube.com/@vittorioangelonecomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@vittorioangelone X: https://x.com/vittorioangelon MIKE & VI
Is This Normal? (with Katie Boyle)
This week, Des is joined by comedian Katie Boyle to decide if the Little Dialers are weird or normal. FOLLOW KATIE: Website: https://www.katieboylecomic.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katieboylecomic/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katieboylecomic YouTube: www.youtube.com/@katieboylecomic THE SHIFT PODCAST: Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-shift/ Spotify: https://o
Wisdom from Your Grandparents (With Caroline Baniewicz)
Caroline Baniewicz is back this week and helps Des respond to wisdom from your grandparents. FOLLOW CAROLINE: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinebaniewicz TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinebaniewicz YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@carolinebaniewicz Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carolineebaniewicz/ Leave us a voicemail: https://telbee.io/channel/msnxcnbe39nmb9rpvbi_eq/ind
The First Song You Loved (with Caroline Baniewicz)
This week, Des is joined by friend, comedian, and professionally trained opera singer Caroline Baniewicz! The Dialers share the first songs they remember falling in love with, and Des and Caroline share their own picks from childhood. Caroline reflects on growing up listening to Christian music, and Des talks about how he felt watching an early Justin Bieber music video. FOLLOW CAROLINE: Instagr
Why Do Men Do This?
Why do men play so many video games? Why do they loudly grunt at the gym? How are they able to use 12-in-1 body washes and still have great skin? This week, Des is solo and attempts to explain men. Leave us a voicemail: https://telbee.io/channel/msnxcnbe39nmb9rpvbi_eq/index.html FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https:/
What's Bugging You?
What's bugging everyone this week? Des discusses running influencers, Reddit commenters, and the protein craze. Leave us a voicemail: https://telbee.io/channel/msnxcnbe39nmb9rpvbi_eq/index.html FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.co
More Things That Are Embarrassing That Shouldn't Be
Des returns with part two of last week's prompt, "What is embarrassing that shouldn't be?" Let us know in the Spotify comments what prompts you'd like him to tackle next. Leave us a voicemail: https://telbee.io/channel/msnxcnbe39nmb9rpvbi_eq/index.html FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop
Things That Are Embarrassing That Shouldn't Be
This week, Des is solo and fired up by your responses to the question, "What is embarrassing that shouldn't be?" From waiting too long in a buffet line to using the bathroom on a plane, Des breaks down some of the most unnecessarily embarrassing moments we all deal with. Leave us a voicemail: https://telbee.io/channel/msnxcnbe39nmb9rpvbi_eq/index.html FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/
Episode #133: Advice With Maggie Hughes DePalo
This week, Des and Chris are joined by comedian Maggie Hughes DePalo answering all the dialers needs for advice. Get tickets to see Hannah on tour here. Get tickets to see Des on tour here. Get tickets to see Maggie on tour here.
Episode #132: AITA?
This week Des and Chris are back answering whether the dialers are in fact the a**hole. Get tickets to see Hannah on tour here. Get tickets to see Des on tour here.
Episode #131: Traditions That Should End
This week, Des and Chris are weighing in on all of the dialer's least favorite transitions that have got to go.
Episode #130: Cheesy Slogans To Live By
This week, Des and Chris are back on a dialer-heavy episode talking about their best cheesy slogans for life. Get tickets to see Hannah on tour here. Get tickets to see Des on tour here.
Episode #129: Craziest Things You've Done For Love
This week, Des and Chris are joined by Ali Kolbert reacting to the most unhinged things that the dialers have done for love! Ali is currently on the road with Hannah so check them out at a show and see all of their dates below Get tickets to see Hannah on tour here. Get tickets to see Des on tour here. Get tickets to see Ali here.
Episode #128: Worst Financial Decisions
Des and Chris are back this week hearing the worst thing they ever spent money on and how much they spent. Get tickets to see Hannah on tour here. Get tickets to see Des on tour here.
Berner Phone #127: Green Flags with Caitlin Peluffo
Today we're joined by guest host Caitlin Peluffo to talk about the dialers top green flags in dating and beyond! Get tickets to see Hannah on tour here. Get tickets to see Des on tour here. Get tickets to see Cailtin on tour here.
Berner Phone #126: Hills To Die On
This week, Des and Chris are back finding out what hills the dialers will die on. Get tickets to see Hannah on tour here. Get tickets to see Des on tour here.
Berner Phone #125: Passive Aggression
The dialers are sharing the most passive aggressive things they've done or had done to them. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows cookunity.com/BERN for 50% off with code BERN functionhealth.com/BERN or code BERN25 for $25 credit
Berner Phone #124: Little Gripes Part 2
The dialers are annoyed by so much that we had to do a part 2. get tix to Hannah's tour get tix to Des' tour
Berner Phone #123: Little Gripes
From nose breathers to doing dishes, the dialers are sharing the small annoyances that can ruin their day. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone 122: Wildest Holiday Traditions Part 2
We're back this week with more unique holiday traditions. We're in the thick of the holiday season so the dialers need a distraction. Put your headphones on, ignore your family fighting in the background, and enjoy this episode. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone #121: Wildest Holiday Traditions
We're getting in the holiday spirit this week. The dialers shared their family's craziest holiday traditions. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone #120: Controversial Takes Pt. 2
The dialers had so many good hot takes that we had to do a second episode. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone #119: Controversial Takes
The dialers are letting us in on the thing they hate that everyone else seems to love. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone #118: Local Gossip
We'd rather get involved in other people's drama than deal with our own, so we asked the dialers to tell us their juiciest local gossip. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' show
Berner Phone #117: Live Call-Ins
We took a risk and tried live call-ins for the first time in Berner Phone history. The only reason we pulled off the admin is because Hannah wasn't involved. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des's shows
Berner Phone #116: Relationship Turnoffs
The dialers called in and shared their biggest turnoffs in relationships. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone 115: Customer Service Horror Stories
The dialers are sharing their craziest customer service stories that prove the customer isn't always right. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone #114: Dating Tips & Tricks
Des is joined by special guest Gabby Bryan to give their best shot at dating advice. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone 113: What's Bugging You?
Instead of taking it out on their families, the dialers are airing their grievances on the pod and letting us know what's been bugging them. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone 112: Family Secrets
We have a juicy one today - the dialers are spilling their family secrets. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone 111: Relationship Hypocrisy
Chris is back and we're in studio. The vibes are high and we're discussing double standards in relationships. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone 110: Ruthless Advice
Des is giving advice on the questions you don't want to ask your friends. Shop at REVOLVE.com/BERN and use code BERN for 15% off your first order. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone 109: Weirdest Crushes
The dialers are asking us to hear them out on their most out-of-pocket crushes. get tickets to Hannah's tour get ticket to Des' shows
Berner Phone #108: HAN SOLO
Hannah is a solo parent to the pod this week and she's answering the dialer's burning questions. Shop at REVOLVE.com/BERN and use code BERN for 15% off your first order. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone #107: The Art of Gentle Revenge
Revenge is an art and the dialers may have mastered it. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone #106: Dialer's Choice
We're letting the dialer's choose their own adventure this week. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone #105: Advice to Your Younger Self
The dialers are sharing the advice they wish someone had given them 10 years ago. get tix to Hannah's tour get tix to Des' shows
Berner Phone #104: Nonsexual Turn Ons
This week we're celebrating some of life's simple pleasures. The dialers are sharing the nonsexual things that are arguably better than sex. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des's shows
Berner Phone #103: Chaos Goblins
We went rogue this episode and didn't have a prompt. So without futher ado, let's hear what the dialers are up to and wanting to discuss this week. get tickets to Hannah's tour get ticket to Des' shows
Berner Phone #102: Are you better than everyone?
We asked the dialers to share what makes them feel better than everyone else. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows
Berner Phone #101: What's Bugging You
Who needs therapy when you have Berner Phone? The dialers are getting the things that are bothering them off their chest this week. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to see Des live
Berner Phone #100: What Did You Just Say?
Hannah has some exciting news and the dialers are sharing the craziest things someone has said to their face. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to see Des live
Berner Phone #99: Things That Make You Feel Old
Being called ma'am for the first time can really stick with you - just ask Hannah. This prompted her to ask the dialers to share the moments that have made them feel old. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to see Des live
Berner Phone #98: It Shouldn't Be Awkward Pt. 2
A prompt so nice, we had to use it twice. The dialers are sharing the random moments that make them feel awkward in public. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to see Des live
Berner Phone #97: It Shouldn't Be Awkward
There are many things in life that shouldn't be awkward like waiting in line and sitting in traffic, but somehow our brains trick us into thinking we're embarassing ourselves. The dialers are sharing the random moments that make them feel awkward in public. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to see Des live
Berner Phone #96: Our Worst Crash Outs
Crashing out is the cool Gen Z way to say mental breakdown. We've all been there, and the dialers are sharing stories of the crash out moments they'll never forget. get tickets to Hannah's tour see Des live
Berner Phone #95: The Most Inspirational Quotes
If you post an inspirational quote on social media your friends might question your mental stability, so we had the dialers share them here instead. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to see Des live
Berner Phone #94: Lockdown Positivity
The pandemic had a lot of lows, but today we're looking on the bright side. The dialers are telling stories about the positives that came out of lockdown and we share our own story. Get tickets to Hannah's new tour Get tickets to see Des live
Berner Phone #93: Dumb Stuff for Hot People
We've all stayed in a relationship a few months too long solely because the person was hot. The dialers are sharing stories of the craziest things they've ever done for a hot person. Get tickets to Hannah's new tour Get tickets to see Des live
Berner Phone #92: Ruthless Life Advice Pt. 2
The dialers were in need of some more life advice and no child gets left behind on this pod, so we delivered.
Berner Phone #91: Ruthless Life Advice
The dialers asked for our advice and we didn't hold back.
Berner Phone #90: Nickname Origin Stories
We're all trying to feel connected to those around us and nicknames are one of the most fun ways to do that. The dialers are sharing the origin story of their nicknames and Hannah shares some of her more traumatizing nicknames.
Berner Phone #89: Gifting Mistakes
Gifts can make or break a holiday, birthday, or even a relationship. The dialers are sharing the best and worst gifts they've given or received.
Berner Phone #88: Deinfluencing You
Despite Hannah promoting her book for the past two weeks, we're talking about the things you shouldn't buy. Sometimes the items we think will make our lives easier actually turn out to do more harm than good.
Berner Phone #87: Best Phone Apps
Our screen times are alarmingly high so we figured we should at least find out what the dialer's favorite and most useful apps are.
Berner Phone #86: More Couples Fights
It's a new week, but couples are still fighting. Hannah and Des are back trying to save some relationships with advice on how to move past menial arguments.
