Relationships Made Easy
This podcast offers research-backed strategies to improve relationships with partners, family, friends, and yourself. Hosted by psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Abby Medcalf, it combines straight talk, humor, and science to help you communicate effectively and set healthy boundaries. Each week, listeners learn practical tools for building happier relationships.
Episodes
389. Why You Always Feel Like an Afterthought
You wanted them to choose you without being asked because you believe that if you have to ask, it doesn’t really count. You want a partner who puts their work down first. The parent who calls to see how you're doing. The friend who reaches out for no reason. When they don't, something in you decides it means there’s something wrong with you, and you add it to a growing list of evidence tha
388. Why Fairness Is Destroying Your Relationship
That's not fair.You said it as a kid. You've thought it as an adult. Maybe you thought it this morning when you were loading the dishwasher while your partner sat on the couch. Maybe you thought it when you were the one who made the dinner and then also had to clean up because somehow that's just how it goes. Maybe you're thinking it right now, because you're the one reading th
387. Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Partner
If you've ever said, "My picker is broken," I want you to stop right there. Your picker isn't broken. It's working exactly the way it was trained to work. The problem is what it was trained on, and that's something you can actually change. In this episode, I'm going to walk you through the three psychological mechanisms that explain why you keep ending up in the same pa
386. Why You Do What You Do: An Introduction to Internal Family Systems
You've tried to change. You've done the work. And you still find yourself asking: why do I keep doing this? Today, I want to give you a framework that might finally answer that question. It's called Internal Family Systems, or IFS, and it explains why you react so differently depending on who you're with, why self-compassion feels impossible no matter how many times someone tells y
385. Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? What the Research Actually Says
If you've spent most of your life being told you're too sensitive, too emotional, too intense, that you need to toughen up, let things go, stop taking everything so personally, this episode is for you. Today, I'm going to walk you through what the research actually says about being a highly sensitive person, or HSP. We'll look at what's happening in your brain, why the world fe
384. You're Not Feeling Guilty. Here's What's Really Going On.
There's a word people use all the time that’s causing you a lot of unneeded suffering, mostly because you’re using it incorrectly. That word is guilty. You say you feel guilty for canceling plans. Guilty for not calling your mom back sooner. Guilty for wanting more space in your relationship. Guilty for saying no. But the vast majority of the time, what you're calling guilt isn't guilt
383. Are You Enmeshed or Just Close? Here's How to Tell
Have you ever felt guilty for wanting space? Like needing a little distance from someone you love means something is wrong with you, or with the relationship? Or maybe you've watched someone you're dating and thought, "Why does their family seem to know everything about everything and have an opinion on all of it?" What you might be looking at, in both cases, is enmeshment. Today w
382. Why You Can’t Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
You’ve tried unfollowing people, making gratitude lists, staying in your own lane. And you still compare yourself to others. So what gives? You can’t stop comparing because you were never supposed to, and comparison isn’t a bad habit you can decide to quit. It’s a cognitive function, and you can’t opt out of cognitive functions. Every piece of advice that tells you to just stop is working against
381. Why You Shut Off Your Feelings (And Why It's Catching Up With You)
You're doing fine. Really. You've got work handled, the relationship seems okay, you've moved on from that fight or that disappointment, and you're not thinking about it anymore. Except, you kind of are. You just don't know it yet. That's what compartmentalization does: it doesn't actually clear your feelings away. It boxes them up and slides them onto a shelf so you ca
380. The 7 Childhood Experiences That Shape Every Relationship You'll Ever Have
You probably know what an ACE is. Adverse Childhood Experience. Trauma, instability, the things that happened to you that you didn't deserve and couldn't control. Researchers have spent decades documenting how those early experiences affect your brain, your nervous system, your relationships, and your health decades later.But there's a side of that research that almost nobody talks abo
379. You're Not Overreacting. Here's What's Actually Happening.
You snapped at your partner over something small, and you already know it wasn't really about that. You've gotten defensive with your mom, shut down with your boss, pulled away from a friend, and each time there's that same moment afterward where you think: why did I react like that? The shame of it is exhausting. And the confusing part is that you can't always explain it, even to
378. Stuck in a Situationship? Here's What's Really Going On
I've been quoted in both the Wall Street Journal and Women's Health about situationships, and I’ve been on countless radio broadcasts talking about situationships, so apparently, I’m an expert on this topic, but somehow I've never done an episode with a situationship focus. That changes right now. Today you'll learn why you can't leave, what your brain and your attachment histo
377. Relationship Anxiety Explained: Why You Feel Insecure Even When Your Partner Is Safe
You can be in a genuinely (or relatively) healthy relationship and still feel anxious. Your partner texts you back, they show up when they say they will, and they're not pulling away or playing games. And yet, you still find yourself overthinking their tone, needing reassurance, or waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you've ever thought, "Why do I feel insecure when nothing is actua
376. Why Do I Always Feel Like a Victim? Here's What's Really Going On
Do you ever feel like life is just constantly happening to you? Like, no matter how hard you try, you end up right back in that same exhausting place, feeling small, stuck, powerless, and like you're always the one getting the short end of the stick? If you've ever caught yourself thinking, "Why does this always happen to me?" or "Why are people always treating me this way?"
375. Are You Codependent or Just a Good Person? Here’s How to Tell
You’re a caring person. You show up. You give. You’d do just about anything for the people you love. So when someone suggests you might be codependent, it stings because, from where you’re standing, you’re just being a good person. But what if both things are true? Today I’m going to show you the difference between true compassion and fear-based helping, the sneakiest place codependency actually h
374. Is It Love or Limerence? How to Tell the Difference
You know that feeling. You’re going about your day and, out of nowhere, they’re in your head again. You replay a conversation from three weeks ago. You check your phone even though you know you didn’t hear it buzz. You catch yourself spinning out a whole imaginary future and then, when they actually do text, the rush is so intense it’s almost physical. But when they go quiet? Or when you can’t tel
373. Hustle Culture Is Lying to You: Make More Money by Working Smarter, Not Harder
What if I told you that the most powerful thing you could do for your financial life has nothing to do with working harder, hustling more, or grinding until something breaks? What if the real shift is an inside job? Today, we're going to talk about the science and, yes, the spirit behind creating more money with less effort. And I promise you, by the end, whether you're a hard-nosed data p
372. Why You Can't Get Out of Bed: Understanding Nervous System Shutdown vs. Rest
If you've been on TikTok lately, you've probably seen "bed rotting," people staying in bed all day, calling it self-care and radical rest. Gen Z is embracing it as a way to recover from burnout (and I’m finding it’s not just Gen Z’s who are doing this). But here's what's actually happening: your nervous system has gone into shutdown mode. Today we're talking about the d
371. Co-Regulation Explained: Why You Absorb Other People's Emotions (And How to Stop)
Have you ever noticed how your partner's bad mood can completely derail your day? Or how when your sister calls upset, suddenly your heart is racing even though nothing's wrong in your life? Maybe you walk into the office and instantly feel tense because your coworker is stressed, or you leave a phone call with your mom feeling drained and anxious for hours afterward.What's happening i
370. Should You Have Kids or Not? The Psychology Behind One of Life’s Biggest Decisions
Deciding whether to have kids isn’t just a practical decision. It’s one of the few choices in life that can feel irreversible, identity-shaping, and loaded with expectations you never asked for. Maybe part of you imagines a future with children and feels something warm and meaningful. And another part of you imagines the same future and feels panic, grief, or a quiet sense of “I’m not sure this is
369. Avoidant Attachment: How to Love an Avoidant Partner Without Chasing or Losing Yourself
If you love someone who shuts down, pulls away, or goes emotionally quiet when things get close, this episode is for you. You might feel confused, lonely, or like you’re constantly guessing where you stand. Today, you’ll learn why people are avoidantly attached, why pursuing closeness backfires, and how to love an avoidant partner without chasing, over-explaining, or disappearing yourself.________
368. When Your Partner Needs Constant Reassurance: What Helps and What Hurts
If you love someone who needs a lot of reassurance, clarity, or emotional check-ins, this episode is for you. Today you’ll learn what anxious attachment is actually responding to, why reassurance doesn’t work long-term, and how to love an anxious partner in a way that creates real safety without losing yourself in the process.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcal
367. Why Anxious and Avoidant Partners Keep Getting Stuck in the Same Cycle
If you’ve ever been in a romantic relationship where one of you keeps reaching for closeness while the other pulls away just when things feel important, this episode is for you. If part of you feels like you’re always chasing connection, or part of you feels like too much closeness makes you want to escape, you’re not broken. You’re likely in an anxious-avoidant dynamic. Anxious and avoidant partn
366. Divorcing a Narcissistic Ex: Why It Escalates and How to Protect Yourself and Your Kids
Most people expect a divorce or breakup to be painful. What they don’t expect is for it to feel strategic, relentless, and never-ending. If you’re separating from someone with narcissistic traits, you’re likely treating it as a transition, but they’re treating it like a war. Today you’ll learn why divorcing or breaking up with a narcissistic partner follows a completely different set of psychologi
365. Should You Stay or Leave Your Relationship?
How do you know when it’s time to stop trying in a relationship? I get asked this question a lot. How do you know if you’re giving up too soon? How do you know if a relationship still deserves more effort? How do you know if you’ll regret leaving? These questions show up after you’ve already tried. After the conversations, the compromises, the therapy, the books, and the waiting. What makes this d
364. You Think Everyone Is Judging You, But They Aren’t
You think everyone is watching you. You think they noticed the weird thing you said. You think they’re analyzing your silence or your laugh or that moment you stumbled over your words. Then you replay it like it’s your job. Why can’t you stop?! You’re overthinking because your brain is running an old program from a time when belonging was survival. You’re not the problem. The wiring is the problem
363. What to Do When Your Partner Shuts Down in Conflict
Your partner is not trying to ignore you during conflict. Their brain is overwhelmed. In this episode I explain emotional flooding, why it happens, and what actually helps in the moment. You will walk away with clear steps you can use today.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/emotional-flooding-in-relationships If you want exact language for these moments,
362. They Were There But Not Really: Healing From Neglectful Parents
Ever feel like your parents were there but somehow you still grew up feeling unseen, unheard, or like you had to handle everything alone? In this week’s episode, we’re unpacking emotional neglect: what it really is, how it shapes your adult relationships, and five steps to finally heal and reparent yourself. If you’ve ever wondered why it’s so hard to ask for help, open up emotionally, or stop bei
361. How to Stop Freaking Out When Life Feels Uncertain
Your brain treats “not knowing” as danger, which is why uncertainty feels so awful. But you can train yourself to handle it. In this video, Dr. Abby Medcalf breaks down the neuroscience of uncertainty and teaches how to calm your nervous system, shift your mindset, and live beautifully even when life feels unpredictable. Includes research-backed tools and a free Uncertainty Tolerance Toolkit._____
360. Why You Keep Getting Triggered and How to Finally Break the Pattern
You swear it’ll be different this time. You’ll stay calm when your mom criticizes you, when your partner walks away mid-argument, or when your friend ghosts you for the third time. And yet…there you are again: defending, withdrawing, or apologizing just to make the tension stop. You’re not weak. You’re wired. Your brain learned long ago what to do when it sensed danger, and it still thinks those s
359. Soothing Yourself First: Why Relying on Others Isn’t the Answer
You always wait. You wait for the phone call from your partner, the text from a friend, the counselor’s time, maybe even your parent’s voice to calm you. But what if I told you that waiting is costing you your power? That you are the single most reliable person you’ll ever have to calm you down, and until you claim that, you’ll keep showing up in your relationships needy, reactive, or out of sorts
358. Holiday Peace On Demand: What to Do When Family Drama Boils Over
The holidays can bring out the best in us and the absolute worst. One minute you’re sipping cocoa, the next you’re fantasizing about running away from the dinner table and hiding in your car. You love your family, but let’s be honest: they can drive you crazy. That’s why in this episode I’m giving you tools you can actually use in real time. You’ll learn a simple 90-second reset that calms your bo
357. Talk So They Lean In: The 5 Moves for Difficult Conversations
Hard conversations don’t usually blow up because of the issue itself. They blow up because of the moves we make in the moment. You’ve been there: you bring up money, or intimacy, or family dynamics, and suddenly you’re in the middle of a fight you didn’t want, wondering how it went sideways so fast. The good news? You don’t need more guts or more clever comebacks. You need a better playbook. Today
356. When Kindness Has Claws: Dealing With Relational Aggression
Ever had someone freeze you out of a group text? Spread just enough gossip to make you doubt yourself? Smile to your face while subtly undermining you behind your back? That’s not just “drama,” it’s a form of bullying called relational aggression, and it can wreck friendships, families, and entire communities if it’s left unchecked. It’s not just drama. It’s emotional sabotage. Today, I’m breaking
355. What to Do When Someone Gives You the Silent Treatment
You’re in a conflict, and suddenly, silence. No texts. No words. Just... nothing. It’s like you’re talking to a ghost. Whether it's your partner, parent, best friend, or coworker, the silent treatment isn’t just frustrating. It can be manipulative, even emotionally abusive. Today, I’m breaking down why people do it, how it messes with your brain, and what you can do instead of spiraling. Becau
354. How to Get Motivated and Stay Motivated: Science-Backed Strategies That Work
Ever notice how you can get excited about something in the beginning, but then totally lose steam? You start a new meditation practice, promise yourself you’ll speak more kindly to your partner, or commit to exercising. At first, you feel that spark. But then life gets busy, the excitement fades, and suddenly your motivation’s gone. Here’s the problem: what you do to get motivated isn’t what you d
353. When to Speak Up: What to Do If You Think Your Friend’s Relationship Is Toxic
You’re sitting across from your friend, watching them light up when their partner texts, and your stomach turns. Something feels off. You’ve seen the controlling behavior, the subtle put-downs, the “jokes” that aren’t really funny. You love your friend, and you’re worried. But what do you do with that? Do you say something and risk the friendship? Or do you stay quiet and hope they figure it out o
352. Is Your Anxiety Trying to Protect You?
You’ve probably been taught that anxiety is a bad thing. Something to eliminate, avoid, or medicate (legally or otherwise) into oblivion. But what if I told you that anxiety, in its healthiest form, is actually trying to help you? What if anxiety wasn’t the villain in your story, but a misunderstood protector showing up in a slightly over-the-top way? This week, you're going to learn how to sp
351. Tired of Being the Scapegoat? How to Handle Blamers Without Losing Your Mind
You didn’t forget the milk, cause the delay, or ruin the weekend plans. But here you are, somehow the one being blamed. Again. Whether it’s a partner, friend, or parent, being on the receiving end of blame is frustrating, confusing, and downright crazy-making. It’s like they’ve outsourced their emotional homework to you and you’re the one getting detention. Today we’ll unpack why some people love
350. Can You Be in Love but Live Apart? The Truth About LAT Relationships
What if the healthiest thing for your relationship… was your own front door? Living Apart Together (LAT) is a growing trend where committed couples choose to maintain separate households while staying emotionally and romantically connected. It flies in the face of the cultural script that says love means living under one roof, sharing a fridge, and arguing about thermostat settings. But LAT isn’t
349. Can AI Replace Your Therapist? Here’s What You Need to Know Before You Try
Let’s be real. AI is everywhere, and it’s not just writing grocery lists or your kid’s English essay anymore, it’s sliding into the therapist’s chair. Whether you’ve toyed with ChatGPT as your late-night sounding board or downloaded an AI mental health app, it’s tempting to think: “Maybe I don’t need to pay someone $200 an hour when I’ve got free therapy in my pocket.” But is that really therapy o
348. Love Goggles: Why You Ignore Red Flags When You’re Falling for Someone
Ever wonder why love makes you overlook the obvious red flags? 🛑 Your brain is literally on a chemical high. In this episode, Dr. Abby Medcalf reveals the neuroscience of why love is blind, how dopamine and oxytocin hijack your judgment, and what you can do to see the truth before it’s too late. This isn’t about blaming yourself for missing the signs. It’s about owning your power and learning how
347. When Your Partner Takes Other People’s Side (And What to Do About It)
Learn why your partner defends others instead of validating you, why it hurts so much, how this breaks the goodwill pillar of trust, and exactly how to change this dynamic with actionable scripts and research-backed tools.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/partner-takes-other-peoples-sideGrab 5 Scripts to Get the Emotional Support You Need (Without a Figh
346. Why You Stay: The Brain Science of Trauma Bonding and How to Break Free
You know the relationship isn’t healthy. Your friends see it. You feel it. So why can’t you let go? Maybe you’ve said something like:"They’re not perfect, but we have a deep connection.""When it’s good, it’s really good.""I know I should leave, but I just can’t." Today we’re diving deep into the neuroscience of trauma bonding: why your brain gets hooked on the highs and low
345. Forgiveness Is a One-Person Job: Why You Don’t Need Them to Feel Better
We’re taught that forgiveness is a mutual thing. That it’s about making amends, talking it through, hugging it out. But the truth, the freeing and maybe painful truth, is that forgiveness isn’t a two-person process. It never has been. Today you’ll learn all about reclaiming forgiveness as something you do for you. You’ll learn the big mistake you’re making when you’re trying to forgive (it’s why i
Season 8 Sneak Peek: New Format, Big News, and How to Get Involved
In this teaser for Season 8, Abby shares a quick update on what’s changing and what’s staying the same on the Relationships Made Easy podcast. You’ll hear about the exciting launch of her second podcast (Workplace Therapy) and how you can help shape Season 8 by sending in your questions and topic suggestions.Want to dive deeper? Join Abby’s private online community, The One Love Collective, now on
344. Why Is Dating So Damn Hard Right Now? (And How to Spot Real Emotional Availability)
If you’ve been wondering whether dating is harder than it used to be, I’m here to tell you: yes. You’re not imagining things. It’s not just that you’re older, pickier, or doomed to attract commitment-phobes. The truth is, dating today has a unique set of challenges, most of which are designed to keep you swiping, second-guessing, and emotionally confused. But don’t panic. Today we’re going to brea
343. Micro-Gaslighting: The Tiny Cuts That Undermine You
You know those moments that make you pause and think, “Wait, am I being ridiculous right now?” You feel off, but you can’t quite explain why. The conversation wasn’t overtly mean. You weren’t screamed at. But still… something felt wrong. Well, you might be experiencing micro-gaslighting. We already know that gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation meant to distort your sense of reality. Bu
342. You Don’t Have to Earn It: Breaking Free from Transactional Self-Worth
If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I doing enough?” at work, in your relationships, as a parent, or just as a person, you’re not alone. So many of my clients feel like they have to prove their value through performance, productivity, or being “good enough” for someone to love or respect them. Today we’ll explore the difference between self-worth and self-esteem, the signs that your sense of worth has be
341. When Your Partner Is Being Evasive, Withholding Information, or Lying: A Guide to Navigating Relationship Deception
Nothing makes your stomach drop quite like that moment when you realize your partner isn’t telling you the truth. Whether it's an outright lie, a carefully omitted detail, or that uneasy feeling that they're sidestepping around something important, suspecting deception in your relationship is gut-wrenching. And when gaslighting enters the picture? That's when you start questioning not
340. Judgment Detox: 8 Steps to Be Less Critical and More Connected
While judgment can be a natural human response, being judgmental can erode your relationships and seriously hinder your personal growth. Yes, judgment feels good at first. It gives you a hit of certainty, a sense of superiority, and the illusion of control. But over time, it poisons your perspective and isolates you from the very connection you crave. Today we’ll talk about why you judge, the prob
339. Why You Keep Proving Yourself Right (Even When You're Miserable): The Psychology of Confirmation Bias and Defense Mechanisms
You break up with someone and suddenly, every memory is framed as proof that they never really cared. You get into an argument with your mom, and you leave convinced, once again, that she just doesn’t get you. You walk into a work meeting with the story that your boss doesn’t respect you, and now every glance or tone of voice becomes more “evidence.” Sound familiar? That’s confirmation bias, and i
338. How to Stop Taking It Personally: 5 Steps to Listen Without Getting Defensive
It’s not hard to stay calm and open when someone is complimenting your outfit or thanking you for dinner. But when they’re disappointed in you? Hurt by something you said? Frustrated by a mistake you made? That’s when your brain shifts into protect mode. And suddenly, instead of listening, you’re defending, explaining, or withdrawing. Defensiveness is one of the biggest barriers to connection, whe
337. Why We’re So Afraid to Be Alone (and the Five Steps to Feel at Ease with Yourself)
We talk a lot about loneliness these days, but we don’t talk enough about why being alone triggers such deep fear for so many of us. Is it just about relationships? Or is there something deeper, hard-wired into our biology and psychology? Spoiler: it's both. And understanding the roots of this fear is the first step to changing it. If you’ve ever felt that pit in your stomach at the thought of
336. Is Food Addiction Real? Here’s the Truth (and 5 Steps to Healing)
Let’s start with a hard truth wrapped in a soft blanket: Yes, food addiction is real, and if you’re struggling with it, you’re not broken, lazy, or weak. You’re human. You’re living in a world where the food industry spends billions engineering snacks to hijack your brain, and your biology is just doing its thing, trying to survive. Today we’ll cover all the research and the “why” of food addictio
335. Are You a Narcissist and Don’t Know It? The Truth About Healthy Selfishness vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder
“I’m just putting myself first, is that narcissistic?” “Am I being selfish or setting a boundary?” “I think I might be a narcissist.” Sound familiar? If you’ve asked yourself any of these questions, take a deep breath. You’re probably not a narcissist. But the fact that you're even wondering is worth unpacking, because somewhere between healthy self-love and full-blown Narcissistic Personality
334. Dopamine Detoxing is a Scam (But You Should Still Do It)
In today's fast-paced digital world, the concept of "dopamine detoxing" has gained traction as a method to reset our brains from constant stimulation. But what exactly is dopamine detoxing, and does it hold any scientific merit? Today, we'll delve into the science behind dopamine, debunk the myths surrounding dopamine detoxing, explore how modern motivations hijack your brain's
333. Why You (or Your Partner) Struggle to Talk About Feelings: Understanding Alexithymia
If you’ve ever felt like your partner shuts down when you ask, “How are you feeling?” or you find yourself saying, “I don’t know what I’m feeling; I just feel off,” you might be dealing with something deeper than emotional avoidance. You might be dealing with alexithymia. No, it’s not a disease. Nobody’s broken. But it’s real, and it affects your relationships, your mental health, and your ability
332. Why We Eat Our Feelings: Understanding and Overcoming Emotional Eating
Ever found yourself knee-deep in a pint of ice cream after a stressful day, convincing yourself that this is "self-care"? (Or is that just me?). Emotional eating is a common (yet sneaky) coping mechanism that many people struggle with. Why do we turn to food when we’re stressed, sad, or even bored? More importantly, how can we break free from the cycle? Today we’re diving into the psycholo
331. A New Mindset for Navigating Neurodiverse Relationships
If you’re in a relationship where one or both partners are on the autism spectrum, you’ve probably noticed that the usual relationship advice doesn’t quite work for you. You might have read articles, watched videos, or even talked to a therapist, but instead of feeling helpful, that advice often leaves you feeling more frustrated, disconnected, or misunderstood. Here’s why: you’re not just speakin
330. Codependency and Boundary Red Flags When Dating
Dating should be exciting, filled with curiosity, fun, and a growing sense of connection. But if you’ve struggled with boundaries in the past or found yourself repeatedly in relationships that drain you, you might unknowingly be attracting (or being attracted to) codependent dynamics. Today we’ll break down what codependency looks like in dating, how to spot red flags early (before you’re in too d
329. The Science of Friendship: How to Build, Keep, and Let Go of Friends as an Adult
Friendship is one of the most essential yet often overlooked aspects of our well-being. Not only does the research show that friendships keep us mentally healthy, but studies also show they keep us physically healthy. As adults, making and maintaining friendships can feel more complicated than it once did, leaving you feeling disconnected or unsure of how to build meaningful connections. Today, we
328. Stop Feeling Overwhelmed: The Four Steps to Set Healthy Boundaries with Family
Families can be wonderful and supportive, but they can also be experts at overstepping, guilt-tripping, and ignoring personal space, like a TSA agent who really loves their job. If you've ever struggled to say "no" to a family request (that felt more like a demand), you're not alone. The good news? You can establish limits and boundaries without turning into a villain or cutting ti
327. Fear of Rejection vs. Fear of Abandonment: How to Tell the Difference and Heal Both
Fear of rejection and fear of abandonment are certainly similar, but they hold some important differences. In fact, what you do to heal your fear of rejection, is not necessarily what you do to heal your fear of abandonment. Although they’re closely related, they’re still distinct emotional experiences and they show up differently in your relationships, your self-perception, and in your coping mec
326. What Narcissists Do When Backed into a Corner: Lessons from Celebrities Who Lost Control
When narcissistic, controlling people feel backed into a corner, meaning they’re exposed, challenged, or losing control, they tend to react with a range of defensive, aggressive, or manipulative behaviors. Their reactions stem from a fragile ego, a deep-seated fear of losing power, and an inability to process shame or vulnerability in a healthy way. Some of the most high-profile examples of this p
325. Seven Powerful Techniques to Breathe Yourself to Calm
It’s something you do about 20,000 times a day: breathing. But don’t be fooled by its simplicity. Breathing isn’t just about keeping you alive; it’s a powerful tool that influences your emotions, thoughts, and overall well-being. Whether you’re feeling scared, excited, worried, happy, or calm, your breath reflects it all. And here’s the best part: by learning to control your breath, you can actual
324. Emotional Triggers: Understanding Your Brain and How to Keep It in Check
Ever found yourself snapping at your partner because they left the toilet seat up (again), only to realize later that your reaction was a tad... over the top? Or maybe you’ve just quit your job because you were so mad that Bob from accounting didn’t get you that spreadsheet on time? Congratulations, you've met your emotional triggers. These are the knee-jerk reactions that can turn minor annoy
323. Reclaiming Yourself: A Step-by-Step Guide to Self-Healing and Reparenting Yourself
If you've ever felt like something was missing in your emotional development, struggled with self-worth, or found yourself repeating unhealthy patterns in relationships, you might need reparenting. In this episode, we’re diving deep into what reparenting is, my top six signs that you need to work on this, and my two-step guide to making it happen. Today, you’ll walk away with a ton of actionab
322. How to Move Past the Dysfunction or Trauma of Unhealthy Parenting
Growing up in a dysfunctional or traumatic home can shape every part of your life: your sense of self, your relationships, your ability to trust, and even how you handle stress. If you’ve ever wondered why you struggle with setting boundaries, attract emotionally unavailable partners, or feel like you have to earn love, the roots lie in your upbringing. But here’s the thing: your past doesn’t have
321. How to End a Relationship Without Breaking Each Other
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin made conscious uncoupling famous in 2014. But where does it stand a decade later? When couples decide to part ways, the process can feel overwhelming and painful. But conscious uncoupling offers an alternative: a mindful way to separate that prioritizes respect, communication, and the well-being of everyone involved, including kids if you have them. Conscious uncou
321. How to End a Relationship Without Breaking Each Other (Patreon Exclusive)
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin made conscious uncoupling famous in 2014. But where does it stand a decade later? When couples decide to part ways, the process can feel overwhelming and painful. But conscious uncoupling offers an alternative: a mindful way to separate that prioritizes respect, communication, and the well-being of everyone involved, including kids if you have them. Conscious uncou
320. How to Beat Stress and Overwhelm: 8 Research-Backed Tips for a Calmer Life
Let’s be real: life can feel like a never-ending hamster wheel. Between work, family, relationships, and that ever-growing to-do list, it’s easy to feel like you’re drowning in a sea of responsibilities. Stress and overwhelm don’t just impact your mood - they can wreck your relationships, health, and overall quality of life. But here’s the good news: you can take back control. Today we’ll talk abo
319. How to Make Long-Distance (and Live-In) Relationships Work: Proven Tips for Building Connection and Trust
Join Abby's Patreon and get ad-free and early drop episodes of the podcast!Long-distance relationships (LDRs) are more prevalent than ever. With the rise of remote work, study abroad programs, and meeting people online, couples often find themselves navigating love across the miles. Most people think long-distance relationships “never work,” but that couldn’t be further from the truth. But, yo
318. Why Body Image and Acceptance Can Be Tough: Five Steps to Make Peace with Your Body
If you’ve ever caught yourself poking at your belly or scrutinizing your thighs in the mirror, you’re not alone. Body image is something most of us grapple with, especially in a world obsessed with airbrushed perfection. But here’s the deal: you’re more than your body and learning to love the skin you’re in isn’t just about feeling good; it’s about living fully! Today we’ll discuss why body image
317. Emotional Healing Techniques: Mastering Mindfulness and Self-Acceptance/Compassion
If you want to heal emotionally, you have to focus on what you’re doing now, not what happened in the past. It’s, of course, important to speak about your past and get clear on some of your why, but the big mistake I find clients making is that they just want to keep talking about their childhood or a bad breakup and not focus on what they can do now. Talking about your past won’t heal you. Taking
316. How to Heal Yourself Emotionally: Mastering Self-Regulation for a Happier Life
You’ve talked about your past and likely know a lot of the reasons why you’ve got issues (I say with love). The problem is that even though you might know the why (or think you do), you don’t feel better. You continue to repeat unhealthy relationship cycles and you’re still not maintaining your boundaries with others. Or maybe you’re overeating or smoking too much pot. You know why you’ve got some
315. The Big Mistake You Make When Setting Goals (and How to Actually Achieve Your Goals This Year)
Let’s face it: setting goals is easy, but sticking to them? That’s a whole different story. How many times have you started the year determined to crush your goals, only to lose steam a few weeks later? The struggle is real, and you’re not alone. Studies show that only 19% of people maintain their New Year’s resolutions by the two-year mark. So why is it so hard to stick with what we set out to do
314. What to Do When They Need Constant Reassurance and Validation
We’ve all had that person in our lives who constantly needs reassurance. Whether it’s your partner asking, “Do you really love me?” for the tenth time this week, your mom needing praise every time she tries something new, or a coworker who looks to you for approval on every decision, these interactions can leave you feeling exhausted, frustrated, and even resentful. But why are some people like th
313. Entitlement in Relationships: How to Recognize It and Break the Cycle
Entitlement. It’s a word we toss around casually, usually about other people. (“Did you see how she cut the line? The entitlement!”) But here’s the thing: entitlement is sneakier than we think. It can show up in the most unexpected places, like our relationships, our workplaces, and even how we navigate society at large. Today you’ll get a clear picture of what entitlement is, why it happens, and
312. The Five Steps to Resolving Conflict in Any Relationship
Conflicts in any relationship are inevitable. Whether it's with a partner, friend, family member, or colleague, disagreements are going to happen as we all have different needs, perspectives, and boundaries. I’ve noticed that conflict avoidance has become a bigger and bigger problem since the pandemic, and I’m here to tell you: it’s quietly wrecking your mental health and eating away at the fo
