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Relationships Made Easy

Relationships Made Easy

Dr. Abby Medcalf 395 Episodes Aug 17, 2026

This podcast offers research-backed strategies to improve relationships with partners, family, friends, and yourself. Hosted by psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Abby Medcalf, it combines straight talk, humor, and science to help you communicate effectively and set healthy boundaries. Each week, listeners learn practical tools for building happier relationships.

Episodes

394. Why You’re Nicer to Strangers Than to the People You Love
394. Why You’re Nicer to Strangers Than to the People You Love Aug 17, 2026 1683 You were perfectly nice to the guy at the coffee counter this morning, and you were patient with the coworker who asked you the same question for the third time, and then you walked through your own front door and said something to the person you love most that you would never in a million years have said to either of those strangers. So, if you’ve ever thought, why am I so mean to the people I lo
393. You Can Become Securely Attached (Even If You Didn’t Start Out That Way)
393. You Can Become Securely Attached (Even If You Didn’t Start Out That Way) Aug 10, 2026 2633 You've taken the quiz and you've read the books, so you know your attachment style. But last night your partner said, "We need to talk," and your whole body went off like a car alarm. That anxiety or panic is an insecure attachment style doing its thing. So, the real question is: can you actually change it? And the real answer is yes, you can. It's called earned secure attachme
392. How Do You Actually Build Emotional Intimacy?
392. How Do You Actually Build Emotional Intimacy? Jul 20, 2026 2773 You can be married for thirty years and still feel lonely with the person sleeping next to you. If this is (or has been you), what you’ve actually been missing isn’t more time together, more sex, or more communication. You’re missing emotional intimacy. Today I’m walking you through what emotional intimacy actually is, the four things people confuse it with, why it’s so hard to build, the four bui
391. How Do You Know If You’re Really in Love?
391. How Do You Know If You’re Really in Love? Jul 13, 2026 2849 Today I’m going to walk you through what “in love” really means at the brain level (spoiler: it’s not just chemistry), why fear sounds so much like love your nervous system can’t tell them apart, the four fear thoughts that masquerade as love and how to spot each one, what real love feels like in your body, and how this should look at different stages of a relationship so you can tell whether you’
390. “But It Felt So Real”: Why Red Flags Don’t Look Like Red Flags
390. “But It Felt So Real”: Why Red Flags Don’t Look Like Red Flags Jul 6, 2026 2860 Today I’m not doing the standard “look for red flags” thing. Ugh, I hate that phrase. It puts the whole burden on you to spot something that, by its nature, doesn’t look like a flag at all. (And then when you don’t see it, somehow that’s your fault? Nope. Stop. We’re not doing that here.)The reason red flags feel like green flags is that high-intensity behaviors mimic the outputs of real love, thi
389. Why You Always Feel Like an Afterthought
389. Why You Always Feel Like an Afterthought Jun 29, 2026 2587 You wanted them to choose you without being asked because you believe that if you have to ask, it doesn’t really count. You want a partner who puts their work down first. The parent who calls to see how you're doing. The friend who reaches out for no reason. When they don't, something in you decides it means there’s something wrong with you, and you add it to a growing list of evidence tha
388. Why Fairness Is Destroying Your Relationship
388. Why Fairness Is Destroying Your Relationship Jun 23, 2026 2729 That's not fair.You said it as a kid. You've thought it as an adult. Maybe you thought it this morning when you were loading the dishwasher while your partner sat on the couch. Maybe you thought it when you were the one who made the dinner and then also had to clean up because somehow that's just how it goes. Maybe you're thinking it right now, because you're the one reading th
387. Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Partner
387. Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Partner Jun 15, 2026 2377 If you've ever said, "My picker is broken," I want you to stop right there. Your picker isn't broken. It's working exactly the way it was trained to work. The problem is what it was trained on, and that's something you can actually change. In this episode, I'm going to walk you through the three psychological mechanisms that explain why you keep ending up in the same pa
386. Why You Do What You Do: An Introduction to Internal Family Systems
386. Why You Do What You Do: An Introduction to Internal Family Systems Jun 8, 2026 2634 You've tried to change. You've done the work. And you still find yourself asking: why do I keep doing this? Today, I want to give you a framework that might finally answer that question. It's called Internal Family Systems, or IFS, and it explains why you react so differently depending on who you're with, why self-compassion feels impossible no matter how many times someone tells y
385. Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? What the Research Actually Says
385. Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? What the Research Actually Says Jun 1, 2026 2475 If you've spent most of your life being told you're too sensitive, too emotional, too intense, that you need to toughen up, let things go, stop taking everything so personally, this episode is for you. Today, I'm going to walk you through what the research actually says about being a highly sensitive person, or HSP. We'll look at what's happening in your brain, why the world fe
384. You're Not Feeling Guilty. Here's What's Really Going On.
384. You're Not Feeling Guilty. Here's What's Really Going On. May 25, 2026 1647 There's a word people use all the time that’s causing you a lot of unneeded suffering, mostly because you’re using it incorrectly. That word is guilty. You say you feel guilty for canceling plans. Guilty for not calling your mom back sooner. Guilty for wanting more space in your relationship. Guilty for saying no. But the vast majority of the time, what you're calling guilt isn't guilt
383. Are You Enmeshed or Just Close? Here's How to Tell
383. Are You Enmeshed or Just Close? Here's How to Tell May 18, 2026 2996 Have you ever felt guilty for wanting space? Like needing a little distance from someone you love means something is wrong with you, or with the relationship? Or maybe you've watched someone you're dating and thought, "Why does their family seem to know everything about everything and have an opinion on all of it?" What you might be looking at, in both cases, is enmeshment. Today w

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