How To! with Mike Pesca
You've got questions. We find answers. We all need advice, but it's not always clear who to ask. Each week, Mike Pesca invites a listener on the show to tackle a real problem, like protecting our elderly loved ones from scammers, emigrating as a throuple, and speaking without saying "um" - all with help from world-class experts: attorneys, doctors, entrepreneurs, authors, researchers - who actually know what they're talking about. Think of it as eavesdropping on someone else's therapy session, without the co-pay or awkward silence.
Episodes
How to Bounce Back From Injury
Jami's dealt with chronic knee instability and dislocations since childhood, two major surgeries, years of tedious rehab. Now she wants to actually trust her body again before starting a family, not just tolerate it. She talks to Tom Morrison, a mobility coach who thinks most people rehab wrong: too much isolating single muscles in a gym, not enough moving joints through their full range the way r
How to Improve Cyclists' Safety from Dangerous Non-Cyclists' Behavior
Amateur cyclist and university associate professor Wendy loves riding her bike with her young son and local road group, but aggressive drivers, close calls, and a deep-seated hostility toward cyclists leave her fearing for their safety on the road. Enter Meredith Glaser, CEO of the Urban Cycling Institute and professor of cycling at Ghent University, who advocates for shifting away from defensive
How To Stop Being an Emotional ATM
Last week, our expert Arthur Brooks gave us some surefire advice for resetting the parent-child relationship so your kids don't treat you like an emotional ATM. On this episode of How To!, he's going to teach our listener, Karen, how to balance the books, so to speak, by taking some withdrawals of her own. He has some surprising tips for how to restrain yourself from swooping in to save the day wh
How to Get Your Kids to Take Good Risks
Today on How To!, Freddy, a physician, scientist, and father, struggles with how to mentor his 12-year-old daughter, who prefers her safe comfort zone and strongly resists new experiences, travel, or unfamiliar foods. Host Mike Pesca brings on stand-up comedian and Parenting is a Joke podcast host Ophira Eisenberg to discuss strategies for nudging risk-averse kids to embrace uncertainty without ov
How to Feel Good in Your Clothes
Today on How To!, Michael, a retired FDNY captain who used to rely on a uniform every day, finds himself staring blankly into his closet and canceling dates because he does not know how to dress. Host Mike Pesca brings on Tavia Sharp, an executive image and personal brand strategist and founder of Styled Sharp, to help Michael navigate post-retirement style, move past 1990s baggy clothing trends,
How to Hire Someone and Be a Good Boss
Comedian and Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! panelist Paula Poundstone splits her time among a grueling tour schedule and a chaotic home life, but she wants to find the focus necessary to manage her household staff and stop letting her deep aversion to conflict ruin her business. Enter Nedra Glover Tawwab, relationship expert and author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, who advocates for establishing ext
How To Keep Cool in a Crisis
Originally Aired on Oct 12, 2021 On this episode of How To!, the second in a two part-series, Dan Christensen, a bus driver in Portland, Oregon, and Matt Smith, a crisis intervention trainer and the co-founder of Aegis Training Solutions, are back to teach you what to do when a fight is already underway. Dan talks about his experience with the 2017 Portland train attack that left two people dead.
How Constraints Make Us More Creative
Ofra splits her time among a number of hobbies in her retirement, but she wants to stop feeling rudderless and find the focus necessary to write a book of observational humor based on her twenty-year career as a psychotherapist. Enter David Epstein, workplace researcher and author of Inside the Box, who advocates for creating artificial structure and imposing concrete deadlines rather than falling
Should I Choose Passion or a Stable Job?
India splits her time between contract production and agency work, but she wants to stop prioritizing other people's projects to scale her personal brand. Enter Simone Stolzoff, workplace researcher and author of The Good Enough Job, who advocates for building a multi-pronged freelance career rather than recklessly burning your ships. He introduces India to an evaluation rubric for vetting new bus
How To Make New Friends as an Adult
Steven racks up acquaintances on group mountain bike rides, but he cannot turn a casual trailhead hello into a real friendship. For decades he coasted on the built-in connections of being in a band, working in a lab, and having a wife who did the social legwork. But now he needs to make some new friends. Enter Dr. Marisa G. Franco, University of Maryland professor and New York Times bestselling au
Beating Yourself Up? The 10-Second Play That Outsmarts Your Inner Critic
This week we're sharing a special episode from our friends at Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin — the Webby Award–winning podcast hosted by psychotherapist and mental strength trainer Amy Morin, whose TEDx talk has been viewed more than 25 million times and whose books have sold over a million copies in more than fifty languages. Every week, Amy shares a practical, research-backed mental
How To Ditch Your Distractions Once and For All
There's one thing that all of Helena's personal projects have in common: they remain unfinished. The family photo album is empty, as is her mom's recipe book. And the lavender garden is still unplanted. Helena is not lazy. In fact, she's a busy lawyer who has no problem finishing tasks at the office. But she's also a busy mother raising a family, and free time is hard to come by. So how can Helena
How To Get Into Wine
Today on How To!, Ross, a TV director who enjoys a drink but feels intimidated by the pretension of the wine world, levels up his wine knowledge. Mike brings on journalist and The Corrupt Wine Writer Substack author Joel Stein to cut through the snobbery, explain why you shouldn't be afraid to ask for help at a wine shop, and offer practical tips on how to order confidently at restaurants without
How To Connect With An Audience
Guitarist and orchestrator Dillon Kondor knows his way around a stage. It's everything in between the songs that trips him up. Speaking to a crowd, filling the silence, not coming off stiff or defensive, that's where his confidence disappears. After too many gigs derailed by awkward pauses and self-protective sarcasm, Dylan reaches out to Mike for help. On this episode of How To!, Mike brings in t
How to Coach Your Kid
Brian stepped up to coach his 7-year-old daughter's soccer team to save their season, but there's one major catch: he's never actually played the sport. Now battling imposter syndrome and the pressure of intense parental expectations, he feels completely overwhelmed. On this episode of How To!, we bring on former Major League Soccer goalkeeper Jeff Attinella to demystify the art of youth coaching.
How To Maximize Your Credit Card Points
Al has over a million American Express points and dreams of booking another once-in-a-lifetime luxury vacation for his family. But the opaque, frustrating system of transferring and redeeming rewards has him completely paralyzed. On this episode of How To!, Mike brings on Elliot Rosenberg, founder of the luxury points concierge Stratys, to demystify the credit card game. They discuss how airlines
How To Bounce Back From Burnout
When Betsy joined her last workplace, she thought it was a perfect fit. It was on a list of Best Places to Work and she got to be creative while helping people. But as the startup rapidly grew, the company culture changed and Betsy started to lose herself amid the stress. Then she got laid off. Honestly, Betsy was relieved, but now she's gotta figure out what's next. On this episode of How To!, we
How To Manage Your Anger
Tyler holds himself to high expectations, placing a deep value on self-sufficiency and the social contract. But as a science teacher and dad to a blended family, he gets incredibly frustrated when others do not hold themselves to those same standards. On this episode of How To!, Mike brings on psychologist Dr. Ryan Martin, known as the Anger Professor, to talk through the realities of male anger a
ENCORE How To Make a Huge Decision In 60 Minutes... Or Less
To move or not to move? That is the question for Tiffani. She is desperate to get out of her hometown in rural Oregon and find a place with affordable housing, better dating prospects, and a ballroom dance studio nearby… or at least a P.F. Chang's closer than a four hour drive away. The problem? Her preferred destination would mean moving clear across the country. On this episode of How To!, decis
How To Solve a Mystery
Brett has spent her career in foreign policy — shaping strategy, advising governments, moving pieces on a board whose outcomes she may never live to fully see. It's meaningful work. It just never feels finished. So she's started thinking about a different kind of problem: the kind with a beginning, a middle, and an answer. Oh, also, and these mysteries keep presenting themselves in her workplace,
How To Communicate with Your Pet
Living with a cat often feels like a game of high-stakes interpretation, especially when an 18-pound Maine Coon is performing a 4:30 AM tap dance on your head. Today on How To!, Mike Pesca is joined by cat owner Steve, who shares the reality of navigating the vocal demands of his feline companions, Mr. Bad and Vincent Then, cat behavior consultant Dr. Mikel Delgado steps in to debunk the "alpha" d
How to Not Say "Um"
Relying on filler words like "um," "like," and "you know" is a universal habit that clutters our speech and betrays our nerves, but simply willing yourself to stop only makes the problem worse. Today on How To!, Mike Pesca is joined by renowned data journalist and author Nate Silver, who bravely steps up as the guinea pig to have his own fast-talking, filler-heavy conversational style diagnosed in
How To Protect The Elderly From Scammers
Getting older brings new vulnerabilities, especially when navigating the sophisticated, ever-evolving world of financial scams targeting seniors. Today on How To!, Mike Pesca is joined by journalist Nancy Rommelmann, who shares the harrowing personal reality of watching her mother fall prey to predatory phone calls and a corrupt accountant. Then, AARP's Senior Director of Fraud Victim Support, Amy
How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health with Dr. Will Van Derveer
Stand-up comedian and philosopher Myq Kaplan has built a successful career exploring the human condition, but navigating his own underlying anxiety presents a very different challenge. He knows how to handle recreational and spiritual psychedelic trips in the jungles of Peru, but the leap to "crossing the streams" and using these substances in a formal, clinical therapeutic setting feels uncertain
How To Make A How To Podcast
Mike Pesca has built a long career as a news analyst and podcaster, but taking over the How To! franchise presents a very different challenge: learning the ropes of the advice show genre. He knows how to dissect complex political events, but the leap to solving eccentric listener dilemmas while maximizing entertainment value feels new. On this episode: How To!'s Mike Pesca turns the microphone on
How To Ghostbust The Old Fashioned Way
Enid Baxter Ryce has built a fascinating career as an artist and university professor, but her unique living situation presents a very different challenge: navigating life on a massive, decommissioned, and potentially haunted military base. She knows how to uncover the historical art left behind in the empty barracks, but the leap to understanding and confronting the supernatural entities that mig
How to Emigrate as a Throuple
Dan Savage has built a legendary career giving sex and relationship advice, but as the U.S. political climate shifts, he's yearning to chase a very different dream: relocating his polyamorous family to Europe. He knows how to navigate complex relationship dynamics, but the leap to untangling international immigration law feels intimidating and technically out of reach. On this episode: How To! wit
How To Be a DJ, Not a Playlist with Tom Nash
Stewart has built a respectable career as a lawyer in Montreal, but he's yearning to chase a very different dream: becoming a club DJ. He knows how to curate a killer playlist, but the leap to commanding a live room feels intimidating and technically out of reach. On this episode: How To!'s Mike Pesca brings on Tom Nash, a former top Sydney club DJ (known as DJ Hookie) who spins using prosthetic h
Announcing: How To! with Mike Pesca
How To! has a new host - veteran journalist and podcaster Mike Pesca, host of The Gist, Not Even Mad, and Funny You Should Mention podcasts. It's the same great Ambie Award nominated show, covering new topics, with new experts, and Mike's signature humor. You've got questions. We find answers. We all need advice, but it's not always clear who to ask. Each week, Mike Pesca invites a listener on the
How To Start Writing (w/ Anna Quindlen & John Dickerson) Encore
You've probably heard about the importance of journaling, putting thoughts on paper to help process the daily vicissitudes of life. But it's easy to stall once you see a blank page or get self conscious about what exactly you're writing. On this episode of How To!, we bring together Anna Quindlen, bestselling novelist and author of the new book Write For Your Life, and John Dickerson, co-host of
Now Is the Time to Escape Your Bad Relationship. Here's How. (Encore)
Dating is always tough, but during a pandemic it can feel downright impossible. "I'm incredibly lonely, and it's impossible to meet anybody my age right now," our listener Sarah said. Feeling isolated, Sarah has clung to a friends-with-benefit situation with Matthew, her friend and dance partner. But at 36, Sarah knows the relationship isn't meant to last. On this episode of How To!, we bring on L
How To Rob a Bank (Encore)
Joe Loya robbed over 30 banks during an 18-month span before going to jail. In this episode of How To! Charles wants to rob one bank on a Saturday afternoon, and get away scot-free. Can Joe teach Charles the tricks of the trade? Or will he shatter his dreams, and a few stereotypes along the way? Also, is it a good idea to carry a microphone while attempting a robbery? Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsW
How To Never Miss a Deadline (Encore)
Avalon is driven, creative, and… can't meet a deadline to save her life. In her defense, she's a card-carrying member of the gig economy, juggling a complicated schedule as a DJ and visual artist. Avalon's tried to organize her life using a bullet journal, but procrastination keeps getting in the way of her career pursuits. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series on time manage
How To Know When to Quit Your Job (Encore)
Victor's job—at its core—is to change the world. But he feels like he's plateaued within his large humanitarian and development organization, and is now on the verge of jumping ship. On this episode of How To!, Annie Duke, author of Quit: The Power Of Knowing When to Walk Away, helps Victor decide if he should recommit to his current job or move on to something else. She explains the cognitive bi
How To Confront a Vindictive Neighbor with Tig Notaro (Encore)
The trouble began when Sarah put a fern in front of her new condo. Nice, right? The woman who lives in the unit above didn't think so, and without warning sent Sarah a slew of passive-aggressive notes. Sarah thinks it's all a big misunderstanding, but now her neighbor refuses to even speak to her. Sarah is wracked with anxiety, struggling to sleep, and contemplating moving out. On this episode of
Our Favorite Advice of 2025
In 2025, our listeners contacted How To! for advice about outsmarting student loans, moving to a new city, hosting a low-key gathering, living with chronic pain, quitting a dream job, letting go of ADHD shame, and yes, losing your virginity in your 40s. Today on the show: Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin get updates from some of those advice-seekers—and they check in with Jeff, whose famil
Quick Fix: Date Night Done Right
Tired of being the project manager for date night? On this bonus episode of How To!, Jackie Kelley explains how to make logistics equitable and easy—so your partner can help. Plus: a tip for quickly finding restaurants when date night is spontaneous. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the sho
How To Create 'Marriage Rules' as a Couple
Cohabitation can be bliss—except when it comes to your partner's incompatible approach to household tasks. Bonnie likes things clean, organized, and prompt. Vince, on the other hand, is a classic procrastinator. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on self-described "human glitterbomb" Jackie Kelley to offer up some practical "marriage rules" designed to improve everyday communicati
Quick Fix: Sexual Fawning
In this bonus episode, Dr. Ingrid Clayton discusses another aspect of everyday life where fawning can show up and take over: sex. Ingrid tells How To!'s Courtney Martin about the ways we lose ourselves during sex—and how we can reconnect with our needs. How To!'s Quick Fix is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is
How To Stop Fawning
When clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and complex trauma survivor Dr. Ingrid Clayton learned about fawning — the fourth "F" after fight, flight, and freeze — she felt like this was the missing piece that explained her whole life. On this episode of How To!, Ingrid talks to Courtney Martin about what can happen when you find yourself in a chronic fawning response, and how to break free. Do
How To Sing in Front of Other People
Slate staff writer Rebecca Onion wants to improve her singing voice, but she's unsure about belting it out in public. On this episode, How To!'s Carvell Wallace introduces her to G. Phillip Shoultz III, associate director of VocalEssence, for advice on strengthening her voice, performing with confidence, and (gasp!) auditioning for a vocal group. If you liked this episode check out How To Write
How To Give to a Good Cause—and Make It Count
With the year-end giving season underway, you might be wondering how much to donate and where you can make the biggest impact. On this Giving Tuesday, How To!'s Courtney Martin brings on Grace Chiang Nicolette of the Center for Effective Philanthropy to explain how to pick the right organizations and ensure your dollar goes as far as possible—regardless of how much you're giving. You can hear more
How To Learn to Love Your City
It wasn't long after Melody Warnick moved to Blacksburg, Va., that she realized its nickname—"Bleaksburg"—wasn't a joke. Feeling stuck, she devised a research-based experiment to acclimate to her new city. On this episode: Melody explains how she went from hating Blacksburg to loving it (and how you can deepen your connection to the place where you live). Listen to part one of our conversation her
How To Move to a New City
Kerry is ready to leave rural Virginia and move to a walkable, vibrant city. The only problem? She can't decide which walkable, vibrant city is right for her. On this episode, How To!'s Courtney Martin brings on Melody Warnick, author of This Is Where You Belong and If You Could Live Anywhere. Melody asks Kerry what she's really seeking in a new place—and introduces a process that can help make
Quick Fix: The Reality of Owning a Home
In this Quick Fix bonus episode, Carvell Wallace talks with home improvement expert Mercury Stardust about her first year of homeownership. The ups and downs of that experience are the subject of Mercury's upcoming book. How To!'s Quick Fix is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode is membe
How To Take Charge of Home Repair (with Sam Sanders and Mercury Stardust)
In the second half of How To!'s wide-ranging conversation about home improvement, gender, sexuality, and much more, journalist Sam Sanders and author Mercury Stardust (aka The Trans Handy Ma'am) talk with co-host Carvell Wallace about a truly daunting idea: skipping the contractors—and doing the work yourself. This episode is available to Slate Plus members now. Non-members will be able to listen
How To Talk to Contractors (With Sam Sanders and Mercury Stardust)
Sam Sanders is many things: journalist, podcaster, pop-culture obsessive, and a familiar voice from public radio. He's also "quite possibly the world's most hesitant homeowner." Sam wants to fix up the house he recently bought, but three things are holding him back: First, he doesn't have a clue where to start. Second, he's not very handy. And third, he's intimidated by the thought of talking with
How To Stop Snoring
Andrew Zaleski couldn't stop snoring. Fed up, he did what any good journalist would do: He started digging. On this episode of How To!, Andrew tells Courtney Martin about his investigation into sawing logs, his experiments with anti-snoring devices, and what he learned from sleep experts while reporting his recent story for Slate. Episodes Mentioned: How To Stop Snoring (and Breathe Easier) How
How To Survive Getting Fired
If you recently lost your job—or think you might lose it soon—Laura Brown and Kristina O'Neill are here to help! On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace talks to the authors of All the Cool Girls Get Fired about what to do when you get the ax—and how to turn termination into a real opportunity. If you liked this conversation, check out the Slate podcast Death, Sex & Money's recent episode on
Quick Fix: Dismantling Male Supremacy
Journalist and activist Soraya Chemaly decided to write her new book All We Want Is Everything: How We Dismantle Male Supremacy before the 2024 election. No matter the result, "there was going to be a huge backlash," she says. "I thought we should talk about this problem, which I define as a problem of male supremacy being invisible." Soraya breaks down how male supremacy operates, our hopes for
How To Harness Your Anger
Contemporary women are primal-screaming and hitting rage rooms, but are these really the solutions to our personal and political anger? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin talks with Soraya Chemaly, journalist and author of Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger, about her own recent upsurge of anger. Soraya explains how to identify, understand, and harness what's bottled up inside y
Quick Fix: Starting Conversations About Identity
In this special bonus episode, youth mentor Ashanti Branch talks with our listener Jen about her son's early observation about his skin color—and how to sustain conversations with young kids about race and identity. If you liked this episode check out: How To 'Do the Work' of Racial Justice Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-
How To Raise a Boy
Jen is raising a pretty stellar 9-year-old son. With his tween and teen years on the horizon, she wants to steer him toward kindness, acceptance, and openness—and away from the pitfalls of toxic masculinity. On this episode, How To!'s Carvell Wallace brings on Ashanti Branch, founder of The Ever Forward Club and host of unMASKing with Male Educators. Ashanti offers his advice on talking with boys
How To Quit IVF (and Start a New Chapter)
After seven years of trying to conceive, Lauren is ending fertility treatments and starting a new journey: adoption. She's excited about this unexpected detour into parenthood—but she's also grieving the loss of something deeply personal that she desired for so long. On this episode: How To!'s Courtney Martin brings on Ada Limón, author of the new book Startlement and the current U.S. poet laureat
Quick Fix: The Afterword
In our latest mailbag episode, Courtney and Carvell had so much to say about books that we're bringing you even more in this Quick Fix bonus chat about audiobooks, cozy mysteries, and romance novels. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherev
Update: Losing Your 'Virginity' at 43
In this mailbag episode of How To!, we get an update from Elizabeth, the 43-year-old listener who contacted us for advice on her plan to have sex for the first time. Then, co-hosts Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace get listeners' takes on our most talked-about episodes of the year—and the staff holds an impromptu idea meeting for upcoming episodes. Links Mentioned: My Old Books Do you have a p
Quick Fix: Carvell's Take on Hypnosis
Two days after his experience with hypnosis, Carvell answers his How To! coworkers' burning questions: What does he remember (and not remember)? Does he feel any different? And most important: Would he do it again? Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spo
How To Use Hypnosis
Much of our common understanding of hypnosis has been gleaned from mind-control plots in Hollywood movies or hokey on-stage demonstrations. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Stanford University psychiatrist and researcher Dr. David Spiegel to talk about what hypnosis is (and isn't), as well as its potential to address stress, pain, and even athletic performance. Plus, with Carv
Quick Fix: How to Be an Atheist Chaplain
Vanessa Zoltan's decision to enroll at Harvard Divinity School as an avowed atheist might seem unusual—at first. In this Quick Fix bonus episode for Slate Plus members, Zoltan talks with Carvell Wallace about becoming an atheist chaplain and why operating outside of organized religion helps her connect with people in times of need, regardless of what they believe. Do you have a problem that needs
How To Quit Your Dream Job
Alice has an objectively cool job. She programs film festivals and gets to watch documentaries for a living. But that living is also stressful: It's low-paying, seasonal work that provides some status, sure, but not much stability. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on atheist chaplain and author Vanessa Zoltan, who spent two years helping countless people decide whether to quit (o
Quick Fix: Meet Your Neighbors
When was the last time you said more than "hello" to your neighbors? On this installment of How To!'s Quick Fix, Katherine Goldstein shares advice from her How To Find Your People Club project and helps us break the ice with bubbles, stoop coffee, and a dash of courage. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might
How To Host With Ease
Krystina used to host gatherings all the time. Then came kids and the pandemic, and the parties ground to a halt. She's feeling a renewed urge to bring people together—specifically her inspiring, badass female friends—but every time she starts to plan something meaningful, she balks. On this episode: How To!'s Courtney Martin connects Krystina with Katherine Goldstein of the Substack and podcast T
How To Be a Better Coach (Encore)
When Kelly volunteered to be the head coach for his son's baseball team, he was nervous. He had no formal training, but he knew he wanted his players to have equal playing time—and have fun. Which they did, until the yelling started and the season ended in a stunning loss (and quite a few tears). What can Kelly do better next season? In this encore episode of How To! from 2021, Amanda Ripley conne
How To Declutter Your Digital Life
Safiya is one clumsy coffee spill away from catastrophe. A Gen Xer who hasn't yet embraced the cloud, she stores thousands of digital files, documents, and photos on devices with maxed-out storage limits. On today's episode, Carvell Wallace brings on Caitlin McGarry, senior editor at Wirecutter. Caitlin talks with Safiya about practical ways to delete and organize—and how we can all build healthi
Quick Fix: Three Pillars of Parenting
When working on her new book, Hello, Cruel World!, science journalist Melinda Wenner Moyer interviewed a wide variety of researchers about raising resilient kids. On this episode of How To!'s Quick Fix, Melinda shares the top three pieces of advice she heard from them. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might h
How To Raise a Kid in a Polarized Family
Sarah loves her in-laws, even though their politics send her running for the exits. Now, her daughter is starting to ask questions about her grandparents' patriarchal, conservative views. How can Sarah raise her kid to be self-assured, justice-oriented, and open-minded—without spoiling the connection between her in-laws and the grandchild they adore? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin bri
How To Let Go of ADHD Shame
Jessi navigates life with ADHD using a complex web of coping strategies. She used to strive for absolute perfection, but feels overwhelming guilt when she forgets something or loses focus at work or at home. On this episode, How To! co-host Carvell Wallace introduces Jessi to Dr. Sarah Wheeler, an educational psychologist who specializes in ADHD. Dr. Wheeler shares her own experience with ADHD and
How To Gossip for Good
Psssst. You didn't hear this from me, but gossiping—can be good for you! Our series on embracing your inner antihero wraps—for now—with a guilty pleasure: gossiping. Normal Gossip host (and beloved former Slatester) Rachelle Hampton sits down with How To!'s Carvell Wallace to dish on the right way to gossip, the link between whisper networks and safety, and the importance of leaving no receipts. T
How To Be an Ethical Hater
Our series on embracing your inner antihero continues with a look at superheroes who definitely don't wear capes: ethical haters. Slate culture writer Scaachi Koul sits down with How To!'s Carvell Wallace for a conversation about the power of haterade—and why "hating up" distinguishes ethical haters from run-of-the-mill, establishment negativity. Links Mentioned: Sucker Punch by Scaachi Koul Scaac
Quick Fix: The Let Them Theory
In this Quick Fix bonus episode, our conversation about how to get revenge continues. Writer and comedian Matthew Dicks weighs in on the "let them" mindset popularized by podcaster Mel Robbins. "I don't understand why we would let terrible people continue to be terrible," he says. And, Matt explains the tiny moment of social-media comeuppance he delivered to Donald Trump. Links Mentioned: Mel Robb
How To Get Sweet, Sweet Revenge
Jordan is mired in a bitter war over off-leash pups at an unofficial dog park. With pro-leash forces deploying fake signage, ambush videos, and questionable zip-tie tactics in a campaign of shame aimed at her fellow dog owners, Jordan is ready to take matters into her own hands. In this first installment of How To's guide to becoming an antihero, Courtney Martin brings on writer, storyteller, and
Quick Fix: Slow Down (and Try This Art Exercise)
In this bonus episode for Slate Plus members, two How To! producers follow Oliver Burkeman's advice and head to the art museum to stare at some art. The challenge originates from Harvard professor Jennifer L. Roberts, who assigned her students a task in deep observation… and patience. Leland Bell, "Temma in Orange Dress" Wendell Castle, "Walking Cabinet" Tony Oursler, "MMPI (Self-Portrait in Ye
How To Stop Giving 110%
Kate is juggling a lot: work, kids, caregiving for an elder, a dance troupe, the PTA, community organizing. Oh, and she runs a '90s-themed DJ night, too. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks and Meditations for Mortals, to talk with Kate about how to stop doing everything all the time. If you liked this episode check out: How To Mana
How To Start Reading Books Again (Encore)
Kate stopped reading in 2016. Since then, she's tried to find her way back to it but something's not clicking, and it's left a book-shaped hole in her heart. Reading used to be something she really enjoyed, took pride in, and loved connecting with people over. On this episode of How To!, co-host Carvell Wallace brings in Maryanne Wolf, director of UCLA's Center For Dyslexia, Diverse Learners, and
How To Balance Mind, Body—and iPhone
Mary is juggling a busy career and family life and, like many of us, she feels guilty about the time she spends on her phone. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin talks with author and teacher Molly Caro May about how she's helping others rethink—and rewire—their dependency on devices with an approach that's focused on the mind-body connection. If you liked this episode, check out How To M
Quick Fix: Drawing as Stress Relief
In this bonus episode for Slate Plus members, our conversation about harnessing the power of drawing continues as Wendy MacNaughton walks Courtney through a drawing meditation that helps people relax and refocus. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spoti
How To Draw Outside the Lines
Drawing isn't just child's play. It's a shortcut to joy, presence, and connection—all things we could use a lot more of these days. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on artist, graphic journalist, and founder of DrawTogether Wendy MacNaughton to explain how everyone at the grown-ups table can start drawing, too. Courtney's blind contour drawing If you liked this episode check out
How To Live With Chronic Pain
Mavi was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis more than 15 years ago. Since then, she's managed her symptoms and myriad life changes—but the past several months have been dominated by intense, chronic pain. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Toni Bernhard, author of How to Be Sick and How to Live Well With Chronic Pain and Illness, to talk with Mavi about making peace with this new
Quick Fix: Siblings Get the Freshman Blues, Too
Our conversation about families and college life continues in this special bonus episode for Slate Plus members. Carvell Wallace talks with our listener Jennifer and Texas Tech administrator Christine Self about how to help younger siblings when an older brother or sister heads off to school. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646
How To Send Your Kid to College (and Keep Your Distance)
Jennifer is about to send her oldest child off to college in the fall—and her kid isn't the only one who's anxious about the transition. On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace and Jennifer talk with Christine Self, director of parent and family relations at Texas Tech University, about navigating a huge change, making the most of campus visits, talking about alcohol, and how much access
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