Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships
Multiamory offers support and advice for modern relationships, covering monogamy, polyamory, swinging, casual dating, and other non-traditional relationship styles. The podcast is part of the Pleasure Podcasts network and aims to provide a welcoming space for anyone who does relationships differently.
Episodes
592 - Intimacy When Sex Is Off the Table - Listener Q&A
Today we're tackling another listener question about intimacy that doesn't involve sex. Whether it's a physical reason or just a desire to be intimate without having sex, we all want to connect this way sometimes. We're going to talk about some techniques from sex therapy, the science of great sex, and why non-sexual touch can be so beneficial. If you want to have one of your questions answered on
591 - Shift Anxious Attachment with Your Body, Not Your Brain (with Orit Krug)
We're excited to welcome Orit Krug back to the show to talk about anxious attachment from a somatic perspective! We'll be discussing relationship anxiety, the research there is on body-based intervention, and a demo on what addressing these anxieties looks like.Find more about Orit and her work on her website, follow her on Instagram, access free somatic meditations there, and visit multiamory.com
590 - Is Non-Monogamy Worth the Struggle?
This week we're hearing from some of our listeners. We recently polled listeners and asked you all to tell us what the hardest, complicated, messy parts of non-monogamy are, as well as the reasons why you wouldn't trade it for anything. We're going to hear from a few listeners about their struggles and joys, and answer the questions ourselves. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.
589 - This Too Shall Pass: The Science of Acceptance
Join our community and get the companion PDFEverything ends, from relationships to feelings to situations, to eventually, lives. We often frame this idea as something bad that's better not to think about, but in this episode, we're exploring how learning to accept this impermanence can help us enjoy our lives in the moment more. More importantly, this is a skill we can practice and improve upon. W
588 - Bridging Financial Gaps in Polyamory
We're talking about money this week, specifically financial gaps in non-monogamous relationships. Money is one of the most fraught topics in any relationship, and in polyamory things can get even more complex. We're going to be discussing some research about why money creates so much friction in relationships and as always, we'll have some actionable takeaways at the end to help you navigate finan
587 - Discomfort Around Sex: Listener Q&A
We're tackling another listener question this week and talking about discomfort and guilt around sex in non-monogamy. Even those of us who have been non-monogamous for a very long time still experience shame and guilt concerning sex with others sometimes. We'll be discussing some personal anecdotes and ways you can tackle these feelings when they come up. If you want your question answered on a fu
586 - How to Support Your Partner Through a Breakup
Today we're revisiting a topic we've covered before...supporting a partner through a breakup. We're going to focus on managing your own emotions and feelings during a loss you're not a part of, particularly if you have mixed feelings about the situation. We'll discuss the science of the matter, understanding your partner's grief, giving them practical support, and some actionable ways to take care
585 - The First Study on Relationship Anarchy with Dr. Nicole Thompson
We're excited to welcome Dr. Nicole Thompson onto the show to talk about her research on relationship anarchy!Dr. Nicole Thompson (she/her) is a queer Sex and Relationship Therapist, researcher, educator, and host of Modern Anarchy podcast. She is the founder of The Pleasure Practice, where she provides psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy and leads global educational programs on non-monogamy and se
584 - Buddhist Perspective on Compersion with Dr. Marie Thouin
We're excited to share a discussion between Dedeker and Marie Thouin about compersion from a Buddhist perspective. Dr. Marie Thouin is a leading expert and scholar on compersion in consensual non-monogamy and beyond. She authored the first-ever scholarly book on compersion, two pioneering research studies, and the first-ever encyclopedia entry on compersion. Her work has been featured in several a
583 - Is It a "Me" Problem or a "We" Problem? How to Know What to Bring to Your Partner
Today we're tackling another listener question from one of our Supercast subscribers! How do you discern what's a "you" problem versus a problem you should bring up with a partner? We're going to talk about the research on self-disclosure as well as some frameworks and tools to help you tell the difference. If you want a question of yours answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming part of
582 - Long Distance Relationships: Are They Worth It?
Today we're diving into the topic of long distance relationships! Are they worth having? What does the research say? We'll be discussing all of this and sharing some ways to evaluate whether or not a long distance relationship is best for you. We'll also be going into what makes them so hard, some specific non-monogamous pitfalls, and what makes them actually work better than some people expect. J
581 - Humor and Attraction with Dr. Paul Eastwick
Today we're excited to be joined by Dr. Paul Eastwick to talk about humor and the part it plays in attraction. Paul Eastwick is a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis and the author of the book "Bonded by Evolution" that offers an exciting new look at the science of attraction and compatibility. Along with Eli Finkel, he hosts the podcast Love Factually where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dram
580 - Actually, You Should Be Testing Your Partner
Have you ever tested a partner? Found yourself engineering a situation, dropping a hint, waiting for them to text first, all so you can see if they're as committed to you as you are to them? Uncertainty is hard in relationships, and if we don't feel safe enough to ask directly, we sometimes test our partners in ways that are sneaky, manipulative, and frankly, exhausting for everyone involved. This
579 - Polysaturation vs. New Poly Energy: Listener Q&A
This week we're sharing another Q&A episode! We'll be discussing a listener question from one of our Supercast subscribers. Today we're chatting about how to know when you're polysaturated versus feeling restless in a way that signals you need something new. Want to have your question answered on a future Q&A episode? Visit www.multiamory.com/join to become a Supercast subscriber!Join our amazing
578 - Getting Back Together with an Ex: Great Idea or Terrible Idea?
We're back and refreshed after a week off, and for this week's episode, we're talking about getting back together with an ex. We'll be discussing some personal stories and reasons why we feel the urge to get back together with past partners. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. Get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord communit
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Multiamory.com/surveyJoin our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. Get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community!Whatever you want to learn, MasterClass has something for you, taught by experts in their fields. Support the show and get an exclusive 15% offer at multiamory.link/masterclass.Skillshare is an online learning community
577 - Should You Push Through the “Ick”?
Have you ever felt the "Ick"? Maybe you were in the beginning stages of a relationship and still evaluating if you're attracted to someone, getting to know them, and maybe, just maybe, one day you feel the Ick. Or maybe this is common for you; you get turned off by someone early on in a relationship and it's starting to feel like your standards are too high or like you can't find anyone you're int
576 - In Praise of Indirect Communication: Is Directness Actually Superior?
Today we're going back to our roots and discussing communication again! We're diving into direct and indirect communication during this episode, and talking about high context versus low context communication, the cultural and neurological differences that various types of communication show up in, and more. Direct communication is often hailed as the "better" form of communication, but we'll expl
575 - I’ll Never Be Their First Priority: Listener Q&A
This week we're answering a question from a listener in another Q&A episode. We're going to be diving into feeling like you're never a priority for your partner, and what to do when you're kept a secret from friends and family.If you'd like a question of yours answered on a future Q&A episode, visit multiamory.com/questions.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. Get a
574 - How to Make Calendaring Not Suck
Today we're covering a topic that causes a lot of friction in a lot of relationships: scheduling. Sometimes, coordinating time with people we love - whether it's family, partners, or friends - feels impossible. And it turns out, it actually is impossible to do perfectly. We're going to be delving into why scheduling feels so terrible, some of the research that reveals what happens when couples sha
573 - Is the Non-Monogamy in Vicky Cristina Barcelona Realistic? Film Critique with Love Factually
Today we're excited to be sharing an episode with Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick of the Love Factually podcast! We're critiquing Vicky Cristina Barcelona's portrayal of non-monogamy and discussing the film as a whole. Eli Finkel is a professor at Northwestern University, with appointments in the psychology department and the Kellogg School of Management. He also serves as a founding co-director of t
572 - Building Commitment Off the Relationship Escalator
Today we're talking about milestones in relationships, and how to build commitment when you're actively trying not to stay on the relationship escalator. We'll be discussing traditional milestones, why they're valued, how relationship milestones with one partner can affect other partners, and some of the research around jealousy and envy in these situations. We will also dive into some non-escalat
571 - They're Unwinding from Monogamy. Should I Wait Around? Listener Q&A
Today we're diving into a question from one of our listeners about partners who recently left monogamy and are still adjusting to stepping off of the relationship escalator. If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a Supercast subscriber!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. Get access to ad-free episodes, group video disc
570 - Play as Resistance: featuring Gary Ware from Breakthrough Play and Normalizing Non-Monogamy
This week we're featuring an episode from our friends Emma and Fin at Normalizing Non-Monogamy with guests Gary Ware and our own Jase Lindgren! Emma, Fin, Gary, and Jase talk about play during this interview, how important it is for our health and wellbeing, and how to frame play as resistance in times of geopolitical upheaval. Be sure to check out Normalizing Non-Monogamy's other episodes and tak
569 - Why is Everyone So Tired of Dating?
Today we're tackling a concept that's on a lot of people's minds lately: burnout. Specifically, we'll be discussing dating burnout and fatigue, which seem to be rife on social media, dating apps, articles, what have you. We'll be diving into what the data says about the increase in dating apps, how it's creating fatigue across the dating community, and whether meeting online or organically is bett
568 - When You Want More Time But Your Partner Won’t Give It
Today we're talking about time, both quality and quantity of it, and what to do if you and your partner end up clashing over it. We're going to discuss some research about shared time together as well as some of the different types of time you could be lacking in your relationship. Whether you're dating someone busy or you're the one who struggles finding time for a partner, we'll have actionable
567 - Is Toxic Individualism a Real Problem?
Today we're answering a question about toxic individuality, inspired by a post about not being able to share certain things with a partner. We'll touch on the idea of how much is too much information to share with partners about each other, managing compulsory non-monogamous baggage, and more. If you want a question answered on a future episode, consider joining our Supercast community at www.mult
566 - More Than a Numbers Game: Dating Truths from Feeld's Data Team
Today we're diving into one of our favorite things - data! We're excited to welcome Sy Dusk and Alexandra Kilpatrick from Feeld. Sy is a data analyst and Alexandra is the head of UX research at Feeld, and both of them helped analyze our co-sponsored research survey on non-monogamy (find the study here: http://multiamory.com/study). We'll be exploring what the data says about how non-monogamous fol
565 - Results Are In: The Largest Non-Monogamy Study
Today we're excited to be joined by Brett Chamberlin and Dr. Amy Moors to discuss the recent results of the largest non-monogamy survey done to date. Brett Chamberlin (he/him) is the Founder & Executive Director of OPEN, a grassroots nonprofit advancing legal rights and cultural acceptance for non-monogamy. Under his leadership, OPEN has passed landmark non-discrimination protections in multiple c
564 - Help! My partner's dates are difficult to endure! Listener Q&A
Today we're tackling a listener question from one of our Supercast supporters. We'll be discussing in depth how to help regulate yourself when your partner goes on dates, even if you have a solid self care plan in place. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. Get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community!Get 10% off sexual
563 - The Episode to Share with Your Parents: Remastered
This week, we're sharing a remastered version of an episode that aired back in 2023. This is the episode to share with parents, family, or other loved ones when you've come out as non-monogamous to them. For those who've had a loved one come out recently as non-monogamous, polyamorous, or relationship anarchist, this episode is for you! Maybe you’re feeling confused. Maybe you’re feeling scared fo
562 - Polyamory in a Red State with Stacey McLarty
We're excited to invite Stacey McLarty to the show as our guest today! Stacey is a Texas attorney who supports individuals and chosen families through affirming, wholistic legal services. She combines two decades of legal experience with her own lived experience in the non-monogamy, kink, and burner communities. She regularly leads workshops on legal and relationship topics and is currently writin
561 - Level Up Your Polyamory: Common Newbie Mistakes (and How to Fix Them)
Happy New Year to you all! For our first episode of the new year, we bring you our hot new take with much wizer eyes on an older episode from back in 2016 about five mistakes newbies make in polyamory. Get the accompanying PDF on Supercast here: 561 Companion PDFOur initial list of newbie mistakes focused more on structural things, while responses from listeners on our recent Instagram story showe
560 - I'm Solo Poly, But I Want More: Listener Q&A
Today we're tackling two listener questions about being solo polyamorous and wanting a more entangled or anchored relationships, either with existing partners or while seeking such a relationship. We'll talk about the feasibility of escalating existing partnerships, as well as making time for deeper, more entwined relationships while still spending time with existing partners. If you want your que
559 - The Struggle of Loneliness
We're covering the topic of loneliness in today's episode. In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness a public health crisis, and the physical health risks associated with loneliness are indeed staggering. We're going to dive into why loneliness seems to be at an all time high, pick apart some nuance regarding gender, age, and loneliness, and in the third part of the episode, go over so
558 - This Is Your Brain on (Jealousy) Drugs
Today we're bringing back a remastered episode from way back in the day. We're going to be revisiting our first episode about jealousy, diving into the science behind it, why we feel it in certain situations, what's happening inside our bodies, and some tips on how to manage struggling with jealousy. We'll also be sharing a discussion about evolutionary psychology that previously was exclusive to
557 - Is Sexual Rejection Hurting Your Relationships?
Today we're exploring rejection, specifically sexual rejection, and how it can affect our relationships. We'll first get into rejection itself and bids for connection, then discuss why we struggle with this. We'll go over Emily Nagoski's Dual Control model, and lastly, we'll talk about how to become pros at receiving no. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. Get acce
556 - How Much is Too Much Information About My Other Relationships? Listener Q&A
Today we're tackling a listener question about sharing information within polyamorous relationships. We'll be talking about how much information is okay to share in relationships and how to make sharing it easier so everyone involved retains their autonomy. 2024 study by Dr. Sharon M. Flicker referenced: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38177605/ If you want your question answered on a future Q&A e
Let's Have Some Fun For a Change! See You On The Foosball Court - Relationship Recess 2026
Get your tickets now before prices go up at the end of January!Tickets and details here: multiamory.link/recess2026Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. Get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community!Whatever you want to learn, MasterClass has something for you, taught by experts in their fields. Support the show and get an
555 - Reclaiming Spirituality as a Queer, Polyamorous Person with Brian G. Murphy
We're thrilled to be welcoming back Brian G. Murphy as a guest to the show!Brian is an organizer, author, and certified relationship coach helping LGBTQ+ and polyamorous people build thriving relationships on their own terms... without shame or "should"s. Brian is also co-founder of QueerTheology.com, a resource hub, podcast, and online community, which explores how queerness and spirituality enri
554 - Persuasion or Coercion? Navigating Polyamory Under Duress
Today we're talking about polyamory under duress (PUD). Being non-monogamous comes with its own set of challenges, and sometimes when external pressure or internal conflicts can make it even more stressful. Dealing with polyamory under duress can be very difficult for our mental and emotional wellbeing, so today we're going to discuss why someone might be feeling duress in polyamory and who might
553 - What Can Swingers and Polyamorists Learn From Each Other? With Mr. and Mrs. Jones of the We Gotta Thing Podcast
We're excited to present a collaborative episode with Mr. and Mrs. Jones of We Gotta Thing podcast! Mr. & Mrs. Jones are the hosts of the We Gotta Thing podcast. They are social swingers who place the highest importance on their primary relationship while seeking friendships and meaningful sexual experiences with others, together as a team. Their podcast chronicles their journey into and through t
552 - Why Your Partner Doesn’t Plan Stuff (And What You Can Do About It)
Today we're talking about planfulness, or thinking ahead and planning things like scheduling time together, managing life's obligations, or making date or travel plans. Some of us struggle with this, while others are skilled at it. We'll be discussing the individual differences in planfulness, why they exist, and what you can do to lessen the load on yourself if planning is difficult for you.Here'
551 - My Partner Dates People Just Like Me: Listener Q&A
Today we're tackling a question from a listener about managing jealousy and fear around a relationship where your partner dates other people like you. We'll be discussing insecurity, jealousy, self-love, and more while we break down this question and try to provide actionable advice. If you want your question answered on a future Q&A episode, consider joining our Supercast community!Join our amazi
550 - We Still Play Medieval Dating Games
Today we're joined by a special guest we've had on the show before, Professor Annalisa Castaldo, to explore 'The Art of Courtly Love,' a medieval manuscript written 900 years ago that resembles a strange combination of romance novel, pickup artist manual, and incel manifesto. Professor Castaldo will be talking with us while we connect these medieval concepts of relationships to modern dating and d
549 - What's Really Driving Your Love Life: The 8 Worldly Concerns
Today we're discussing the Eight Worldly Concerns, or four things we desperately chase and four we desperately avoid, that have driven human behavior for more than 2500 years. We'll go over the origin and history of these eight concerns, why they matter to relationships, and of course, we'll be talking briefly about each concern and some practical applications for everyday life. The companion PDF
548 - Conversations to Have Before Moving in Together
Today we're dusting off an old episode about cohabiting with a partner. In it, we talk about why people move in together, questions to ask yourself about possibly moving in with a partner, and of course, conversations to have with your potential living partner. We also discuss some specific points about non-monogamy and cohabitation, and how to be or choose a good platonic roommate was well. Join
Help us make history: The biggest non-monogamy study ever conducted!
Participate in this anonymous 20-30-minute survey here: Chapman University StudyThis year, we've partnered with OPEN and Dr. Amy Moors at Chapman University, a leading non-monogamy researcher, to bring a new level of academic rigor to this research!Why participate: This data directly supports advocacy work – previous surveys helped win legal protections in major cities. Eligibility: 18+ and practi
547 - Help! My Partner is Dating My Best Friend: Listener Q&A
Today we're back with another Q&A episode from one of our Supercast subscribers. We'll be talking about relationship dynamics and what to do when a partner is dating a close friend, how to navigate the situation, and tips on better communication for everyone involved. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. Get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and o
546 - Therapy Myths That Hurt Your Relationships (with therapist Joe Nucci)
Today we're welcoming therapist Joe Nucci to the show to talk about myths about therapy and the effect they can have on your relationships. Joe is a licensed psychotherapist and content creator. His debut book, published by Harper, is called Psychobabble: Viral Mental Health Myths and the Truths to Set You Free. It's available wherever you get books starting September 23rd, 2025.Find more about Jo
545 - AI Relationships: Ethics, Intimacy, & Algorithms with Dr. Julie Carpenter
Today we're chatting with Dr. Julie Carpenter about AI and its role in our relationships.Dr. Julie Carpenter is a social scientist who studies how people relate to AI in its many forms, and how these interactions inform evolving ideas about self, identity, agency, and connection. Her research investigates the stories people construct around artificial beings and how those narratives influence the
544 - Are You Sabotaging Your Relationships by Seeking Security?
Today we're discussing our drive to seek security in relationships, especially as economic uncertainty increases, and how sometimes, that can turn around and bite us. We'll be talking about why we seek security in relationships, some paradoxes of security, and as always, some tools to help better understand your own behavior around seeking security in your relationships. Join our amazing community
543 - My Metamour Refuses to Meet Me: Listener Q&A
Today we're fielding another question from one of our Supercast subscribers. We'll be discussing how to handle your metamour not wanting to meet you or be a part of your life. If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, become one of our Supercast subscribers!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. Get access to ad-free episodes, group video dis
542 - Is Emotional Intelligence the Key to Getting Out of Our Own Way?
Today we're talking about emotional intelligence, self-sabotage, and being objective about our thoughts and emotions. Have you ever had a thought that won't go away for a long time, especially a negative one about yourself? Sometimes our insecurities take advantage of us and encourage us to engage in self-sabotaging behavior. We're going to talk today about how to practice emotional regulation, se
541 - Make Agreements with Yourself, Not With Your Partner
We're revisiting agreements, but this time with ourselves, not others. We're going to be talking about agreements, self agreements, how they differ from boundaries, and ways to generate self agreements so that you can start exploring what you expect from yourself in relationships versus what you expect from others. Dedeker's ConstitutionFor subscribers only:Create Your Own Self Agreements Exercise
540 - Banish the Ghost of Relationships Past
This week we're bringing back a remastered episode about the ghosts of relationships past...and getting into a good relationship after being in a bad one. Do you have trouble trusting a good relationship? Are you always waiting for the other shoe to drop and things to turn bad? You might be suffering from relationship PTSD, which can inhibit your ability to enjoy a good, healthy relationship. Part
539 - Introducing My Polyamorous Partner to My Monogamous Parents: Listener Q&A
This week, we're answering a question from one of our subscribers: how do I introduce my polyamorous partner to my monogamous parents? We'll be discussing ways to approach coming out to family, share some tips on how to make social situations run smoothly, and ways to handle potential conflict or big emotions. If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a
538 - When Knowing Better Doesn't Mean Doing Better
Today, we're discussing why we struggle to put the communication and relationship lessons we learn into practice. Current generations are more therapy-literate than ever, but that doesn't mean our relationships are healthier. What happens when everyone knows the psychological buzzwords but hasn't done the deeper work of integration and change? We're diving into the reasons why learning how to do r
537 - Breaking the Cycle: Releasing the Grip of Control
Welcome back to our series on control! This week, we're talking about control from the perspective of the person who wants to have the control or power in the relationship. There are a multitude of reasons why someone might want to control another person, which we're going to explore in this episode. We'll also discuss the science of control, and talk about a few ways one can move away from contro
536 - Finding Your Voice: Navigating Control and Taking Back Your Power in Relationships
Welcome to part one of our deep dive into control in relationships! Every relationship has power dynamics, but when they get out of control it can be devastating. In this episode, we'll be discussing the experience of loss of control in a relationship, why it might happen, and what to do if you find yourself on this end of the control spectrum. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic
535 - How Do You Maintain Equity Across Multiple Relationships? Listener Q&A
Today we're tackling a question from one of our Supercast subscribers about equity in multiple relationships, feel prioritized, and how to handle tough conversations about energy, money, and mismatched desire in relationships. Become one of our Supercast subscribers at multiamory.com/join to get your question answered on a future Q&A episode!Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic ret
534 - When We're Asked to Change (and When It's Okay to Refuse)
This week, we're diving into what happens when a partner asks you to change, whether it's a small behavioral change or a big fundamental or values change. Regardless of what kind, change can be difficult, for both the one asking for change and the one being asked to change. We're going to discuss the feelings that arise when being asked to change as well as evaluating what is and isn't acceptable
533 - How to be Dateable with Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu
Today we're joined by Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu from the podcast Dateable to talk about--you guessed it--how to be dateable. We're going to be talking about traditional dating advice, dating archetypes, different perspectives on dating, and more!Julie and Yue are active daters turned dating insiders, and top influential voices of modern dating, relationships, and connection in the digital world.
532 - Is Attachment Theory Just Bullsh*t?
We're returning to attachment theory this week as we go over some of the criticisms it has faced since rising in popularity. For some, attachment theory has been a powerful tool of self-discovery, but others dismiss it as pseudo pop psychology. Where do you fall on that spectrum of credibility? Today we're discussing the cases for and against attachment theory and whether or not non-monogamy can h
531 - What's Wrong with Enjoying Consensual Sex with Multiple People? Listener Q&A
We're back with another Q&A episode this week! Today we'll be discussing some listener questions about using the word "love" in a relationship, polyamorous identity, and talking about non-monogamy with friends and family who think it's all about the sex. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use cod
530 - Why You Keep Having the Same Fight – 3 Toxic Patterns that Keep Us Stuck
Today we're bringing back a popular episode on relationship conflict. We're talking about three different patterns that show up in conflicts, how to recognize which one is showing up for yourself, and discuss some ways to disrupt the pattern and create new choreography with your partner(s). Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sli
529 - Yes, You Can Think Your Way Out of Your Feelings (Sometimes)
Today we're discussing cognitive reappraisal, or the notion of thinking your way out of a negative emotional response to a given situation. We'll be going over research available on cognitive reappraisal, what it looks like in real life, and whether or not it's just gaslighting yourself into feeling like your relationship is better than it actually is. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory
528 - The Art of Stepping Back: De-escalation
This week we're getting into the nitty gritty details of ending relationships, whether it's by breaking up or de-escalating. We'll be discussing all the different ways relationships constantly change, defining some terms for uncoupling, how to navigate the challenges of separating, and some practical ways you can make these transitions smoother, healthier, and a more positive experience for everyo
527 - Why Your Search for Closure Isn't Working
Today we're talking about a universal human experience: wanting to feel better after a relationship ends. However, a lot of us end up seeking the wrong type of closure, and we can stay stuck in pain for even longer. In this episode we're going to discuss the difference between searching for answers and wanting to feel true acceptance, the science behind our need for closure, and of course, some pr
526 - How do you make space for a primary relationship while keeping a non-primary one? Listener Q&A
Today we're answering some more listener questions! We'll be tackling some questions about moving too fast in relationships, relationship hierarchy, and primary versus non-primary relationships. Want your question answered on a future Q&A episode? Become on of our Supercast subscribers at multiamory.com/join on a sliding scale!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. Ge
525 - Your Metamour is Not the Villain with Alex Alberto
Today we're talking about metamour relationships with Alex Alberto. Alex is a queer author, publisher, and filmmaker. Last year, Alex published their memoir, “Entwined: Essays on Polyamory and Creating Home” through Quilted Press, a collective of independent authors they co-founded. This year, Alex is producing a short film called “Coming Out Polyamorous for Thanksgiving,” which is based on an ess
524 - From Worried to Empowered: Taking Action for Relationship Rights with Experts Diana Adams and Brett Chamberlin
We're excited to welcome Diana Adams and Brett Chamberlin back to the show to discuss advocacy, relationship rights, and more. Diana Adams (they/them) is an international legal leader in advocacy for queer family forms beyond the romantic dyad. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit advocating for diverse family structures, & runs a boutique law firm providing med
523 - How do I cultivate polyamorous community? Listener Q&A
We're back with another Q&A episode! Today we're answering some questions from our Supercast subscribers about organizing local polyamory meetups, how to handle guilt you feel even when a partner is telling you not to feel guilty, and strategies to deal with missing a partner you don't live with. If you want to have your question answered on a future Q&A episode, visit multiamory.com/join to becom
Our Audiobook is here!
Our audiobook is out now at all major audiobook retailers! Learn more at multiamory.com/bookJoin our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. Get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community!Whatever you want to learn, MasterClass has something for you, taught by experts in their fields. Support the show and get an exclusive 15% offer at
522 - The Power of Denial: Are You Lying to Yourself?
Today we're tackling a heavy topic: denial. Most of us have dealt with this at one point or another, especially when it comes to relationships, whether it's denial that that relationship is over or whether or not someone is attracted to you. We'll be doing a deep dive into why we often fall into denial, whether or not denial can be a helpful force in our lives, and how to know if you're in denial.
521 - Finding Fairness in Non-monogamy
Today we're talking about equity, equality, and fairness in all relationships, but particularly non-monogamous ones. We'll discuss the differences between equity and equality, perceived fairness, equity among multiple partners, and more! As always, we'll have some practical takeaways at the end of the episode to help you be more aware of equity and fairness in your relationships and how to communi
520 - Do You Treat Your Partner Worse Than You Treat Your Friends?
Today we're chatting about romantic relationships, friendships, and the ways we often treat the two differently. Why do we think of our romantic partners as our most intimate and important connections, and yet sometimes don't treat them with the same respect and kindness we do our friends? We'll be talking about why we tend to do this and how we can foster more understanding in romantic relationsh
519 - Competing for Attention: Why Your Partner's Distraction Hurts
Today we're talking about attention and attentiveness as a relationship resource. It's natural for us to want to feel loved, important, and listened to, especially by our partners and family. But distraction happens, particularly nowadays in a digital age, and if your partner is distracted by work, their phone, other partners, or just other life priorities, it can be really distressing to feel lik
518 - Talking to Kids about Non-Monogamy (with Evolving Love)
Today we're answering some more listener questions, and we're also being joined by Abbey and Liam from the Evolving Love Project to get their perspectives on non-monogamy and parenting. We'll be discussing some questions about parenting, meeting like-minded people, guilt, and missing non-nesting partners.Abbey and Liam have been together for over twelve years and non-monogamous for over a decade.
517 - Breaking the Approval Cycle
Today we're talking about the need for approval many of us feel every day and the impact it can have on our relationships. We're discussing what approval-seeking and people-pleasing are, whether seeking approval is always harmful in a relationship, pros and cons of seeking approval, and more. As always, we'll also share some actionable tools at the end of the episode to increase self-esteem, reduc
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