The Attachment Confessions
From FA to Secure AF: How Attachment Science Changed My Life...for real. From the moment I discovered attachment science, everything – literally EV-ERY-THING – about every relationship I’d ever been in finally made sense. And now, I’m learning what it takes to earn my attachment security and have the best possible relationships from now on. Here on The Attachment Confessions, we’ll dive deep into the mind-blowing and freakishly accurate world of attachment science, my childhood, my relationships, and my journey of going from FA to secure AF. We’ll also highlight guests sharing their own attachment lived experiences, bring on a variety of attachment & relationship experts, and sprinkle in listener Q&A episodes.
Episodes
Attachment Styles Ranked: Who's Most Likely to Ghost, Cheat, Self-Sabotage & Heal — TAC 1-Year Anniversary Episode!
ONE YEAR, Y'ALL!!🎉
365 days ago, I sat down in front of a microphone, said "what's up guys" for the very first time, and had absolutely no idea if anyone would ever listen. And here we are — one year, 32 episodes, and 7,000 downloads later — and I am still completely floored that this podcast exists, and that you are here💜
To celebrate, I brought back one of TAC's all-time favorite guests — our ve
Escaping a Covert Narcissist: How Mia Hanks Turned 29 Years of Hell into an Award-Winning Memoir
"I became a prisoner in a golden cage — and I wasn't even aware that I was helping to build it."💔
Those are Mia Hanks' words. And if they just stopped you cold — this episode is for you.
Mia J. Hanks spent nearly 30 years married to a covert narcissist. Not the loud, obvious kind — the kind that operates in the shadows. The kind that makes you question your own reality, your own worth, your own sa
Confessions from the Couch: How One Therapist Confronted Her Own Insecure Attachment Issues to Find Healing (feat. Caasi O'Day, LCSW)
What happens when the person who helps everyone else heal finally has to look in the mirror?💜
Caasi O'Day is a licensed clinical social worker and therapist, but not the kind you're probably picturing. She grew up as the "difficult" kid, the lost cause, the one clinicians whispered about in the hallways. At 15, she was shipped across the country to live with her godparents. Somewhere in the middle
Dating Red Flags & Deception: How to Spot Them Early & Protect Your Heart (Feat. Cray App Founder Justin Smith)
This episode is for every single person who has ever looked back on a relationship and thought – "The signs were there... why didn't I see them?"😩
Justin Smith spent years in a marriage with someone he thought he knew completely. When the truth finally surfaced, it wasn't just painful – it was the kind of disorienting, trust-shattering experience that makes you question your own judgment entirely.
Emotional Safety & Communication in Relationships: What Every Attachment Style Gets Wrong (and how to get it right) Feat. Certified Marriage Coach Kameran Al-Areqi
Y'all – "communication issues" might be the most common complaint in relationships. But here's what most people don't realize: you can't fix your communication until you fix your emotional safety💜
This week I'm joined by Kameran Al-Areqi — Gottman Certified Marriage Coach, straight-shooter, and one of the most practically brilliant guests we've had on TAC. Kam is breaking down exactly why so many
Call Her Insecure: How Hookup Culture is Wrecking Your Attachment (feat. Attachment Expert Bev Mitelman)
Here's something nobody in the modern dating conversation wants to say out loud: Hookup culture isn't freedom. It's a trap. Especially for those of us with insecure attachments.
This week I'm joined by Bev Mitelman – Certified Relationship & Attachment Trauma Practitioner and founder of Securely Loved – for one of the most important conversations we've had on The Attachment Confessions. Bev br
Boundaries & Anxious Attachment: The True Cost of Having Zero Boundaries — And How to Finally Make Them Stick
Let me ask you something — how many times have you said yes when you meant no? Stayed silent when you should have spoken up? Set a boundary and caved on it within five minutes?🙋
Same, y'all. Same. And as a healing fearful avoidant, I am so done letting that be my story. This episode is a wake-up call — for my anxious preoccupieds, my fellow fearful avoidants, and honestly anyone who's ever abandon
Inside the Trenches: A Fearful Avoidant & Dismissive Avoidant Couple's Tell-All (feat. Tesha & Taylor)
What happens when two avoidants fall in love? In this raw, eye-opening episode, we go inside the trenches of the most painful relationship dynamic — the Fearful Avoidant and the Dismissive Avoidant — with real-life couple Tesha & Taylor.
This is not a highlight reel. This is the unfiltered truth about what it actually looks like to love someone when each of your biggest needs are your partner'
FA & DA Relationship: Why the Fearful Avoidant / Dismissive Avoidant Dynamic Hurts the Most (and how to make it work)
Y'all – this one is personal. The fearful avoidant / dismissive avoidant relationship dynamic is, without question, the most painful attachment combination out there. And as a healing FA who's been on both sides of it? I know this one all too well.
In this episode, we're getting into exactly why the FA/DA pairing starts off feeling like fate — and why it almost always ends in flames.
What we cove
Your Attachment Questions Answered: Listener Q&A
Hello, Confessions Fam! Welcome back for episode 23!
He’s baaack! Everyone’s favorite Dismissive Avoidant (actually, recently discovered Fearful Avoidant who leans avoidant) – Brent Stokes – is joining the pod again to help answer YOUR questions!
You’ve inquired – and as your semi-fearless host, I’m here to give you my {not so} expert attachment advice, purely based on my past year of personal hea
Secure Attachment Explained: A Deep Dive into the Born & Raised Secures
Grab a hankie for your happy tears — because episode 22 is all about the holy grail of attachment styles: the Born & Raised Secures🙌
This is the final episode of TAC's 4-part attachment style deep-dive series, and we're going out with a bang. Because honestly? After three episodes unpacking insecure attachments, nothing feels better than getting an up-close look at what secure attachment actua
Disorganized Attachment Explained: A Deep Dive into the Fearful Avoidant
Grab your one-way ticket to cringeville, y'all — because episode 21 is a deep dive into the most complex attachment style of them all: the Fearful Avoidant. And since this one hits particularly close to home for yours truly, I am not holding back any punches💜
Sometimes called disorganized attachment, the FA is my own attachment style — and this episode is my most personal deep dive yet. Whether yo
Avoidant Attachment Explained: A Deep Dive into the Dismissive Avoidant
Grab a pillow to scream into – because episode 20 is all about the Dismissive Avoidant😅
The DA tends to get the most attention of all the insecure attachment styles — and for good reason. It's the most predictable, yet often the most frustrating, confusing, and heartbreaking attachment to be on the receiving end of. Whether you're a DA yourself or you've loved one, this deep dive is going to make
Anxious Attachment Explained: A Deep Dive into the Anxious Preoccupied
Y'all — before we get into today's topic, I have to share some news that still has my jaw on the floor. The Attachment Confessions has been named one of the Best 30 Attachment Theory Podcasts in the US by Million Podcasts, ranking alongside some of the leading experts in attachment theory. I am truly flabbergasted and so incredibly grateful. All glory to God — and to YOU, my confessions fam!🎉💜
Now
Love Languages vs Attachment Styles: What's the Difference — And Which One Actually Predicts Your Relationship Patterns?
One of the most common questions I've gotten since starting this podcast is about love languages — and how they relate to attachment styles. So in the spirit of Valentine's Day, we're getting into it 💜
You've probably taken the love languages quiz. You know your results. But here's what most people don't know — your attachment style is actually what predicts your preferred love languages. They're
Conflict in Relationships: How Securely Attached Couples Fight Differently (and what we can steal from them)
Conflict. Just the word makes my body tense up. And if you're anything like me, yours probably does too. 😅
But here's the thing – it's not conflict itself that destroys relationships. It's how we handle it. And for those of us with insecure attachments? We were never really taught how to do it right. Episode 17 is all about changing that.💜
What we cover in this episode:
Why conflict feels so scar
Insecure Attachment Patterns: How to Stop Repeating Them & Actually Take Accountability (yes, even the hard stuff)
What's up, guys! Welcome back for episode 16 of The Attachment Confessions!
"I am who I am – take it or leave it!"
Sound familiar??
Maybe you've had partners make similar claims? Perhaps your current partner has told you this a time or two? Or shoot, you might even be the guilty party, just like I have been in past relationships!
Today's episode is all about facing the person we see in the mirror
Dating & Relationship Resolutions For 2026
Happy New Year's Eve, everyone! Welcome back to The Attachment Confessions!
Since we are on the cusp of a new year, there's no better time than now to set some solid dating and relationship goals.
Whether you're single, dating, or already committed to someone special, this week's episode is packed full of resolutions to ensure that your love life thrives in 2026.
Cheers to the new year!
xo - Chel
Love Bombing 101: How to Spot It, Why We Fall for It, and How to Get Out
Hello confessions fam!! Welcome back to The Attachment Confessions!
On today's episode, we're diving into a topic that has been all the rage on social media in the dating world, especially over the last few years – love bombing.
Not gonna lie you guys, just the mention of that term gives me full-on body chills. In the worst way!
Love bombing is essentially bombarding a new romantic interest with o
My Fearful Avoidant Attachment Healing Journey: An Honest Update — What's Changed, What Hasn't & What I've Learned Thus Far
Y'all — I just finished Dr. Sarah Hensley's 4-week hybrid group coaching program. And I have SO much to say💜
If you've been following along, you know I've been in the thick of it — doing the actual work of earning my attachment security, not just talking about it. Episode 13 is my full, honest debrief. The highlights, the hard parts, and everything in between.
What we cover in this episode:
A wee
Inside the Dismissive Avoidant Relationship: Brent's Real DA Lived Experience [Part 2]
Brent is back — and this time we're getting into the good stuff 👀
In part 1, Brent walked us through how his dismissive avoidant attachment formed in childhood. In part 2, we're picking up right where we left off — diving into how those DA tendencies actually played out in his romantic relationships, including a real behind-the-scenes look at how his attachment showed up in his marriage.
And the p
Inside the Dismissive Avoidant Childhood: Brent's Real DA Lived Experience [Part 1]
Y'all have heard my fearful avoidant woes plenty by now — so it's time to hand the mic to someone else🎙️
Introducing a brand new series here on The Attachment Confessions: Guest Lived Experiences — where guests from all walks of life and across every end of the attachment spectrum give us a real, unfiltered insider look at what it's like to live with their insecure attachment style.
And our very
Narcissist & Codependent Relationships: The Toxic Dynamic Explained Through an Attachment Lens
Today we are taking our previous discussion on narcissism a step further and examining the most painful duo that exists – the narcissist / codependent toxic relationship dynamic.
From an attachment lens, the codependent partner subconsciously enters relationships with their anxious attachment in the driver's seat, leaving them totally vulnerable to the charm, manipulation, and control of the narc
Attachment vs Narcissism: How to Tell the Difference — and Why It Matters for Your Healing
Hey everybody! Welcome to episode 9 of The Attachment Confessions!
On today’s episode, we're doing a deep dive into a topic that a number of you have asked me about – narcissists. Particularly, where does narcissism fall on the attachment spectrum? When it comes to how the two of these coincide, there actually is no correlation at all whatsoever.
Narcissism is a highly complex psychological constr
Should I Break Up or Stay? How Attachment Styles Affect the Hardest Relationship Decision
What’s up, everybody! Welcome to EPISODE 8 of The Attachment Confessions!!
Guys – We’ve hit a milestone making it this far. Fun fact – 90% of podcasts don’t make it past episode 7, which is B-A-N-A-N-A-S. But here we are, episode 8 baby! Thank you so much for giving me space in your life and joining me on this attachment healing adventure! It seriously means the world *insert joyful teary-eyed emo
Breakup Pro Tip for Every Attachment Style: The No-Contact Rule
What's up, guys! Thanks so much for stopping by for episode 7 of The Attachment Confessions!
Today we're continuing our breakup series with an episode featuring some sure-fire ways to stay strong during the dreadful post-breakup season, including a spotlight on one pro tip in particular that has gained massive popularity over the last few years among attachment experts and relationship coaches ali
Breakups: How Each Attachment Style Handles Splitting Up
What's up, everyone! Welcome back for episode 6 of The Attachment Confessions!
Today's episode centers around one of the questions I get asked most about when it comes to attachment – Breakups.
UGH. Breakups. The dreaded B word.
Breakups. Are. The. Worst.
But just like so many other things when it comes to how we handle the highs and lows of relationshipping, there's actually a science behind ho
Cultivating Secure Attachment: Why Fostering Healthy Attachment in Our Kids is So Crucial (and how to get it right)
On today's episode, we take a deeper dive into one of the early attachment experiments that our guest from episode 4, Brie Neil, mentioned toward the beginning of our conversation – Mary Ainsworth's 'Strange Situation' experiment. This experiment is what piqued Brie's interest in attachment science, and I gotta tell you, I was already obsessed with attachment before, but learning about the 'Strang
Attachment Specialist Brie Neil Joins the Pod!
What's up, guys! Happy Wednesday!
I am SO incredibly excited to have my VERY FIRST guest on the pod with me today!!!
Brie Neil joins The Attachment Confessions to nerd-out with me on all things attachment science!
Brie is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in attachment. She is the owner of Thrive Counseling Clinic in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where she focuses on individual therapy, couples th
My Attachment Red Flags: The Fearful Avoidant Patterns I Ignored for Years (and finally owned up to)
Y'all – I may end up regretting this, but today I'm spilling some tea on a few of the Fearful Avoidant red flags I've experienced in my past relationships. A couple stories are sins of my exes, a couple stories star yours truly, but ultimately, the real red flags are all mine to carry.
Whether I put up with bad behavior from partners way too many times to count, or I myself was the one exhibiting
My Fearful Avoidant Origin Story: How Tracing Back My Attachment Finally Made Sense of My Relationships
I promised you guys real and raw on The Attachment Confessions — and episode 2 delivers. This one got a little emotional (okay, a lot emotional), but it's the episode that ties everything together. 💜
If attachment styles are formed in childhood, then understanding my fearful avoidant origin story means going back to when I was 13 years old — the moment everything I thought I knew about my family c
Attachment Theory Explained: The Beginner's Guide to All 4 Styles
Welcome to the very first episode of The Attachment Confessions — I'm Chelsea, and I am so glad you're here!
Attachment science genuinely changed my life, and this podcast exists because I believe it can change yours too.
In this episode, we're starting from the beginning. I'll walk you through the history of attachment theory — who developed it, when it emerged, and why it still matters deeply to
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