The cult.ture podcast
Belief is powerful, but in the wrong hands, it can become a tool for control. Step into the shadowy world of cults and high control groups, where manipulation masquerades as salvation and escape is never simple. This podcast holds space for the real stories with survivors and those who dared to walk away. Join our community and be part of the conversation that challenges the way we see belief, control, and recovery.
Episodes
34-Stop the Shunning: A Conversation with Bethany Leger
In this episode of cult.ture, Derek sits down with author, speaker, and Stop the Shunning creator Bethany Leger.
Raised as a Jehovah's Witness, Bethany shares her journey from questioning the organization to ultimately leaving alongside her husband. Together, they explore the emotional realities of shunning, the complexities of family estrangement, and what it means to rebuild a life after a high-
33-Novice Enthusiasm: Creativity After Control — with Sean Miller
In this episode of cult.ture pod, Derek and Trent sit down with artist, writer, and former Jehovah’s Witness Sean Miller for a raw, grounded, and deeply human conversation about life after high‑control religion.
Sean grew up as a born‑in JW, the son of a respected elder, and followed the expected path of baptism at 16, auxiliary pioneering, regular pioneering, ministerial servant. But beneath the
32-Blood Doctrine, Programming & Conditional Love | Audrey’s Story
Audrey joins Trent and Derek to share her experience growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness and what ultimately led her to leave in 2025.
In this episode, Audrey opens up about the emotional pressure of trying to live a “perfect” life inside the organization, the fear surrounding blood transfusions, purity culture, elder involvement in marriage and sexuality, conditional relationships, and the difficul
31-Lydia's Story: Approved, Watched, Controlled
In this episode, we sit down with Lydia, a former Jehovah’s Witness who grew up in a fourth-generation family deeply rooted in the organization.
From a young age, Lydia was seen as “exemplary”, giving talks at assemblies, pioneering, and doing everything expected of her. But beneath the praise was something else: pressure, anxiety, and a growing disconnect from her own identity.
We explore what it
30-Breaking Free from a Catholic Cult: Ryan’s Story
Ryan, host of The Truth That Heals, joins us to share his story of growing up Catholic and eventually being pulled into a high-control religious group that claimed legitimacy within the Church.
What began as a calling rooted in faith turned into over a decade of control, fear, and psychological manipulation.
In this episode, we explore:
How spiritual language is used to recruit and control
The ro
29-Everything Changed: How Jordan Left a High-Control Religion
What happens when you choose yourself… and lose everything?
In this episode of cult.ture, Derek is joined by Jordan, a former Jehovah’s Witness who shares his journey of waking up and walking away from a high-control religious system.
Jordan opens up about:
Growing up in the Jehovah’s Witness organization
Struggling with identity and sexuality inside a restrictive belief system
The moment ev
28-Finding Your Life After: Correen Hardin on Leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses
In this episode of cult.ture, Derek and Trent sit down with Correen Hardin, author of Best Life After, to explore what life can look like after leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Correen shares her personal story of growing up inside the religion, the complex process of leaving, and the emotional and psychological realities that follow when someone steps outside a high-control belief system. The convers
27-A Thousand Tiny Cuts: Patriarchy, Control & the Cost of “God’s Will”
On this episode of cult.ture pod we sit down with Katherine Spearing the author of A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts, founder of Tears of Eden, trauma recovery coach, and survivor of the Christian patriarchy movement.
Katherine grew up in a world where women were expected to move from the authority of their father to the authority of their husband. College wasn’t encouraged. Autonomy wasn’t modeled. And
26-From Shunning to Rebuilding with Griswold House
In this episode, we sit down with McKenzie and Marcell childhood friends who grew up inside Jehovah’s Witnesses, lost each other to shunning, and eventually found their way back to one another after deconstructing.
Marcell shares what it was like growing up in poverty, finding “divine” love inside the organization, and fully believing it was the truth even while quietly believing he would die at A
25-Finally Waking Up — Fear, False Prophecy, and Life After
Stephanie spent most of her life carrying a fear she didn’t choose.
Raised as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, baptized at just fourteen, and taught from early childhood that the end of the world was “right around the corner,” Stephanie grew up measuring her life in countdowns: 1914, Armageddon, obedience, and survival.
Although she physically left the organization in 1998, the fear never left her.
It
24-Put It on the Shelf: Mormonism, Control, and the Cost of Faith
In this episode, we sit down with Amy, who grew up deeply embedded in Mormonism as the daughter of a bishop and mission president.
From early-morning seminary and strict behavioral rules to temple rituals that demand lifelong commitments without full consent, Amy shares what it was like to grow up inside a system that quietly governs every part of life from what you drink to how you think.
Togethe
23-Leo’s Conversation — The Body Keeps the Truth
Leo grew up Jehovah’s Witness in a home where abuse was happening and being ignored.
In this conversation, Leo speaks about what it means to survive when harm is known, authority goes unquestioned, and silence is treated as righteousness.
This episode explores:
How religious authority can shield abusers
What happens when elders “handle it internally”
Dissociation, lost memory, and trauma hel
22-From Black-and-White to Color with Jamie
Jaime joins Derek and Trent to share what it was like growing up Jehovah’s Witness in a divided home never fully belonging in either world, and carrying fear long before she had words for it.
Jaime talks about the slow unraveling: raising three kids inside the routine, living under constant self-monitoring, and realizing her children were afraid she might stop speaking to them if they didn’t belie
21-Devan's Story: What Survives After the World Doesn’t End
In today’s episode of cult.ture, Derek and Trinity sit down with Devan, someone who wasn’t raised in the Jehovah’s Witnesses Faith, but still grew up inside a high-control Christian system that shaped every corner of his childhood.
Devan’s early years took place deep in the Oregon woods at an isolated fundamentalist Baptist camp, where his father ran the ministry and his family lived off the land.
20-Agency, At Last: Abby’s Exit From Control
Abby’s story moves from love-bombing and baptized hope to grief, coercive control, boundaries, and finally freedom and family. She shares how vulnerability was targeted, why she pursued baptism after trauma, and the cost of “paper-thin comfort” in a doomsday framework. We talk stalking elders, weaponized “good example” theology, and the moment she chose safety over image. Abby also remembers her b
19-Above Water: Freedom, Friction, and Finding Your Compass - Dustin Returns
Content note: Mentions religious trauma, suicide, and substance use. In the U.S., dial or text 988 for support.
Derek and Trinity welcome back Dustin Jetmore for a raw check-in since disassociating from Jehovah’s Witnesses (letter July 4, announcement July 10). We revisit the 2019 Love Never Fails convention, Derek’s last through the moment the veil lifts: choreographed “love,” scripted routes, ev
18-PIMO to POMO: Drag, Therapy, and Saying No with Juan
Juan spent years PIMO—Physically In, Mentally Out, performing the part while hiding his truest self. We trace the pressure to baptize, the “bad association” rules that killed sports and friendships, and how family + culture can be weaponized to keep you compliant. Therapy (and the XJW community) gave him language for boundaries and room to say who he is: pansexual, a drag artist, and done pretendi
17-Growing Beyond the Box with Micah Allen Losh
Author–poet Micah Allen Losh (Mentally Diseased, The Apostasy Trilogy) joins Derek for an unflinching look at life inside a doomsday faith and the long road out.
Micah reads a poem written during 77 days in jail his first sober stretch in years and traces the journey from a childhood of constant Armageddon fear and being labeled “blood guilty” to the moment he could say: “That person no longer exi
16-Smooth Operator to the New Personality: A solo chat with Mitch
Derek sits down for a solo chat with Mitch (@exjdub) an elder’s kid who spent decades performing inside Jehovah’s Witnesses to talk about abuse, denial, power, and the long work of becoming real. For the first time publicly, Mitch shares the abuse he endured, the moment his abuser said “I don’t remember it never happened,” the night he numbed out with a bottle of rum, and why therapy finally helpe
15-Vibration & Curiosity: Beyond the Kingdom Hall to the 5th Dimension
Derek reconnects with Erika for a solo chat to trace a complicated path through and beyond the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Loved at home yet the “black sheep” in the Kingdom Hall, Erika was baptized at 17 to ease expectations, married at 18, and soon found herself in a life that never fit. She opens up about anxiety and meds, disfellowshipping, the pull of shunning, and the return for reinstatement.
Dere
14-From Anger to Appreciation: Josh Morton’s Healing Path
When COVID moved meetings to Zoom, Josh Morton finally had room to breathe and realized he’d been drowning. In this intimate conversation with Derek and Trinity, Josh traces his path from teenage baptism to early marriage, double-life betrayals, and devastating family loss. He opens up about navigating guilt, anger, and shame and the moment an EXJW content cracked his certainty.
Josh also unpacks
13-Privileges, Reproval, and a Quiet Fade: Ben at 25
Ben walked away from the fear and into his actual life. Raised fourth-generation JW between California, Phoenix, and now Seattle, Ben talks about growing up in the JW Library era, carrying constant Armageddon anxiety, getting publicly reproved, and what it took to quietly disappear. We get into dating after high-control beliefs, rebuilding community, reclaiming holidays and heritage, and why “putt
12-Cierra: Truth in Grief, Generational Echoes, and Finding Peace
At 25, Cierra sits with us to talk about growing through anxiety, depression, and the long tail of generational and religious trauma while still choosing love for the people in her life. She describes a transformative season with grounding in nature, and learning to protect her peace alongside the complicated grief of losing her father (Jan 2020) just months after a cousin’s death.
We also unpack
11-The Inspired Hustler: Speaking Up, Breaking Free, and Living Fully
In this heartfelt and unfiltered episode, Trinity and Derek sit down with Derek's sister Jessica from The Inspired Hustler to explore the emotional terrain of growing up in a controlling religious environment, navigating step-family dynamics and being under care by controlling and abusive parents and the courage it takes to break free even at a young age.
From the raw realities of being a young ou
10-Unwinding the Narrative: Chad on Vulnerability, Loss, Creativity, and Leaving Bethel
In this deeply personal and refreshingly candid episode of cult.ture pod, Chad joins Derek and Trent to share his journey of self-discovery, creative exploration, and the emotional complexities of leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses faith. From confronting self-critical patterns through personal pursuits to embracing vulnerability in public conversations, Chad opens up about the challenges and triumph
9-Listener Questions Answered: Freedom on the Other Side
Life after leaving a high-control group can feel uncertain but it’s also full of possibility. In this listener-driven Q&A episode, Trent and Derek share their answers to questions like the most meaningful support they've received, the turning points that shaped their journeys, and the message they would give to anyone who feels trapped but longs for a new life.
Support cult.ture pod over on
8-From Disassociated to Free: Dustin's New Path
They said his name from the platform. They told the congregation he was no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
To them, it was a warning.
To him, it was the first public step into freedom.
In this upcoming episode of cult.ture, Dustin shares what it’s like to go from being part of a community that claimed to love him, to recently disassociating and choosing to leave the Jehovah’s Witness faith beco
7-Pieces of Jenn: Her Side of the Story
This episode contains discussions of suicide, sexual assault, and abuse. Please listen with care and prioritize your mental health.
In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Derek and Trent sit down with Derek’s sister, Jenn, for a raw conversation about survival, identity, and healing.
Jenn opens up about growing up under the shadow of a controlling, ego-driven father and the silent wounds of
6-Speak Their Language: JW Jargon with Trinity & Derek
Theocratic Ministry School.
New light.
Worldly.
Spiritually strong.
If you know, you know.
This interstitial episode is all about the insider lingo and a little bit of information about core beliefs of Jehovah’s Witnesses, what it meant, what it was used for, and how it shaped the way we thought and spoke.
In this episode Trinity and Derek decode the language that once defined everything. From
5-Breaking the Silence: Natty’s Story of Loss, Courage, and Rebirth
This episode contains discussions of suicide, sexual assault, and loss. Please listen with care, and prioritize your mental health.
What happens when the very people meant to protect you turn a blind eye to tragedy?
In this powerful episode, Trinity and Derek sit down with Natty, who left the Jehovah’s Witnesses—and her family—at a heartbreakingly young age after surviving an unthinkable traged
4-From Mormon Roots to Mindful Mutiny | A Solo Interview with Jeremy Van Wert
What happens when your faith, your identity, and your future are handed to you—and then one day, you wake up and ask, "Whose life am I living?"
This week Derek sits down for a solo conversation with Jeremy Van Wert—therapist, psychedelic guide, and former Mormon for a great conversation about leaving high-control religion, navigating trauma, and what it really means to reclaim your mind and to try
3-Put a Gork in It: Have your own ideas
In this episode, we sit down with @gorkmusic — musician, creative, and deep thinker — for a raw conversation about walking away from rigid systems and into the unknown. Gork shares how faith, fear, and failure shaped his path — and how he’s learning to live outside of certainty.
We explore themes of identity, masculinity, dogma, and creative rebirth. This is an unfiltered look at what it takes to
2-Who’s Interviewing Who, Really?
The mic shifts hands this week as Trent interviews Derek about life before, during, and after the world he once believed in. It gets personal, honest, and just a little uncomfortable—in all the right ways. In this episode, Derek — the voice behind the mic — shares just a portion of his own story of growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness, the silence he was taught to keep, and the long road of questioni
1-Welcome to the Fold
In our very first episode, your hosts take a seat at the table—literally and figuratively—to start unraveling what it means to grow up inside a high-control group. Joined by Trent, a fellow ex-Jehovah’s Witness, we begin with our own stories: childhoods shaped by Watchtower rules, the pressure to conform, and what it felt like to start questioning it all. This is where cult.ture begins.
https://ti
0-Into the Fog: A Cults Podcast Teaser
Belief is powerful—but in the wrong hands, it can become a tool for control. In this teaser, step into the shadowy world of cults, where manipulation masquerades as salvation and escape is never simple. This is a preview of the real stories to come—interviews with survivors, skeptics, and those who dared to walk away. Brace yourself—once inside, the fog of deception isn’t so easy to leave behind.
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