Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl
Jon Seidl, a bestselling Christian author who became an alcoholic, hosts this podcast about real stories, radical vulnerability, and remarkable comebacks of people struggling with alcoholism and addictions. The show features interviews with fellow addicts and professionals in trauma, faith, and addiction recovery. It is a place for the desperate and downtrodden, but also a place of hope and healing. Jon shares his journey to sobriety and faith, exploring messy sanctification in each episode.
Episodes
Famous Wife, Divided Life: Doug Johnson on 'The Look' That Exposed His Addiction and Finally Giving It to Jesus
Doug Johnson knew his drinking had gotten bad. There were bottles of whiskey disappearing over a weekend, around $1,000 a month going toward alcohol, Everclear mixed into sweet tea, and drinking at 10 in the morning. But he still wasn't ready to admit it was a problem. Then came "the look"—the moment his wife, Abby, looked at him and had seemingly lost all hope after making one request: don'
Drunk in the Delivery Room: Charles Reed on Crossing Lines We Said We Never Would, and His Miraculous Encounter with Jesus
Charles Reed was drunk in the delivery room when his daughter was born. Afterward, he told his wife he was going for a walk—but he went straight to a liquor store. Becoming a father hadn’t made him stop. So what finally did—and what would following Jesus require afterward? For years, Charles could close a big deal at work while hiding how badly alcohol and drugs were running his
Going All In: Emily White on Needing a 'Miracle' to Get Sober, and How Jesus Provided It
Emily White is an addiction counselor who once filled a CamelBak with alcohol to walk to class, collected a nine-month sobriety chip while secretly drinking, and was eventually kicked out of rehab. She knew recovery language—and enough Christianity to look the part—but she was still trying to become presentable before coming fully to Jesus. After more than a year in sober living, Em fo
Dying from Alcohol and Still Not Able to Stop: Karla Adkins on Why the Comparison Trap Is So Dangerous
Karla Adkins was successful, active in church, and working in health care—and yet she was dying from alcohol-related liver failure. When Karla’s doctor called and asked if she was OK, Karla said she thought she was dying. Her doctor was honest: “I think you are too.” Yet even surviving liver failure wasn’t enough to make Karla stop drinking and find true freedom. Mont
Alcohol Became Her Food: Natasha Kennedy on Losing the Ability to Eat, Turning to Alcohol, and Ultimately Feasting on Jesus
When chronic illness took away Natasha Kennedy’s ability to eat, alcohol became the one comfort she believed she had left. Instead of gorging on food, alcohol became her new gluttony. The illustrator behind the beloved children's FatCat series and author of the incredible new book Lacking Nothing: The Year I Lost My Ability to Eat and Found Satisfaction in Christ joins Jon Seidl fo
Married to an Alcoholic Pt. 2: Faith, Forgiveness, and Surrender with Dr. (and Wife) Brenda Fann Katula
What do you do when you love someone who won't stop drinking or give up their addiction? Dr. Brenda Fann Katula knows that frustration well. She understood alcohol addiction, withdrawal, and relapse. But none of that could fix her husband. In Part 2 of this two-part interview, Brenda takes us through the final stage of her former husband's destructive behavior. From an intervention, to hallu
Married to an Alcoholic Pt. 1: When Your Spouse Won't Stop Drinking, with Dr. (and Wife) Brenda Fann Katula
Dr. Brenda Fann Katula knew how to recognize alcohol addiction in an exam room. But when alcoholism took over her own home, the family physician who understood the diagnosis could not figure out how to make her husband choose sobriety—or explain to her nine-year-old son why Daddy wouldn't stop drinking. The warning signs had been there from the beginning, like the handle of rum she expected
Drinking Problem, or Problem With Drinking? Christian Podcaster Jeanette Tapley on Re-Examining Alcohol and Completely Switching Careers
Podcaster Jeanette Tapley doesn’t call herself an alcoholic. But after one sober month, she realized she had a problem with her drinking—and that the second glass of wine she couldn't say no to was doing a job she was hesitant to admit: It gave her the foggy relief she wanted when life felt heavy. Her Christian faith then forced a hard question: Why did alcohol feel easier than trustin
When God Seems Silent: Em Tyler on Hearing His Voice and Discerning the Holy Spirit
What do you do when God seems silent? How do you even hear God's voice? International speaker and author Em Tyler knows what it's like to struggle to hear God. She joins host Jon Seidl for an honest conversation about hearing God, abiding in Christ, prayer, and discerning the Holy Spirit. For those struggling with addiction or walking in recovery, these aren’t abstract questions. Sometimes w
When Harm Hides Behind "Healthy": Amber Ginter Johnson Unmasks Orthorexia, Exercise Addiction, and True Recovery
Amber Ginter Johnson spent seven years trapped in an eating disorder and exercise addiction rooted in trauma, fear, and a desperate need for control. What began as “healthy eating” became orthorexia, severe food restriction, obsessive calorie counting, and compulsive exercise—even jogging in place for three hours a day. Then Amber broke her foot, abruptly ending the routine that
When Jesus Shows Up in the Darkest Place: Arman Kaymakcian on Why Trauma and Heroin Addiction Didn't Get the Final Word
Arman Kaymakcian’s (Ky-mock-chin) journey from childhood sexual abuse and heroin addiction to faith in Jesus Christ began in unimaginable darkness. After years of using food, marijuana, drug dealing, and eventually intravenous heroin to escape his pain, Arman reached a point of suicidal desperation. He planned to step in front of a train—but walked into a psychiatric ward instead. That
The Addiction the Church Won’t Touch: Kristy McCammon Reveals Why Food and Sugar Can Be So Destructive and Addicting
We know how to talk about alcohol, pornography, drugs, and other destructive behaviors. But there is another substance Christians regularly use for comfort, escape, reward, and emotional relief. It’s present at nearly every church gathering, woven into our traditions, and rarely questioned. We’re going somewhere in this episode that we’ve never gone before. We’re confrontin
The Worship Leader with a Secret: Joel Warneking on His Double Life and Finding Freedom from Pornography
“I desperately wanted to be loved... and yet my entire life had feared that if I let people know me, I would be deemed unworthy of love.” Joel Warneking lived a double life. He was preaching, leading worship, traveling with a Christian band, and serving in ministry—all while secretly battling a pornography addiction that began when he was just eight years old. Even after confes
The 'Good Christian' with a Secret: Sherry Hoppen on How She Hid Her Alcoholism, and What Finally Brought Freedom
“I told my whole family, ‘I'm quitting.’ But in my head this voice was screaming, ‘I don't know what to do. I can't quit.’” For years, Sherry Hoppen lived between those two realities. To the people around her, she was trying. She was making promises. She was attending church, raising a family, and doing everything a good Christian woman was supposed to do. But
What You Didn't Know or Realize About Confession: Jamin Goggin on Exposing Our Secret Struggles
“The fear of our heart is built on sin’s great lie: that the place of healing is the place of harm. That the chalice of confession is filled with poison. That the medicine God has provided cannot be trusted. We have come to believe that confession is not a place of life but instead a place of death.” Those words from Jamin Goggin’s book, Pastoral Confessions, capture the he
How a Foster Mom Changed Her Mind on Addiction: Christina Dent's Life-Changing Realization
“The addiction is not who you are. This is not your identity. You are a person first and you are loved by God.” For years, Christina Dent viewed addiction the way many of us were taught to view it: as people being simply too lazy, too selfish, or too indifferent to stop. Then she became a foster mom—and what she saw changed everything. When Christina met the birth mother of one o
From Pro Basketball Coach to Rock Bottom: Travis Blakeley's Story of Gospel-Centered Recovery and Restoration
“In success, I sought to self-medicate. In failure, I sought to self-medicate.” From the outside, Travis Blakeley had the kind of life many people would envy. He grew up in an affluent area of Dallas, attended a prestigious school, followed Jesus, worked in professional basketball as a coach, executive, and broadcaster, and built the picture-perfect life in the suburbs with his wife an
Hiding Addiction While Helping Others Recover: Jed Payne on the Reality of Relapse and Being Honest
“It was such a relief to not have to lie anymore.” That’s how Jed Payne describes the moment he finally stopped hiding and came clean. Again. For years, Jed was a substance abuse counselor. He hosted a recovery podcast. He helped other people pursue sobriety and healing. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, he was spiraling back into addiction, secrecy, gambling, relapse, and despair. A
The Parts of You That Still Need Jesus: Trauma, Healing, and IFS with Kimberly Miller
"The younger we are when things happen to us and the more serious they are, the stronger the feelings are and the more often those feelings show up.” Those are the words of therapist and author Kimberly Miller, one of the kindest and most genuine people I have ever met. Kim’s work has profoundly shaped not only this podcast, but also my own sobriety journey and ministry. Her book Bound
Has the Enneagram Duped Christians? Christina Wallace Reveals Some Shocking Details
“The Enneagram was demanding that I look to it first, and only through its lens could I look to God second.” That’s just one of the revelations made by author and Oxford theology student Christina Lynn Wallace. For years, Christina loved the Enneagram—a tool that has become popular in counseling and recovery circles. It helped her understand herself. It gave language to her
Saved from Sobriety: How Brett Smith Got Sober but Realized That Wasn't Enough
“The only thing that had changed was the object of my worship—I went from worshiping alcohol to worshiping sobriety.” Those are the words of Brett Smith. For years, Brett struggled with alcoholism, eventually finding sobriety through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. He did everything right. He worked the program. He sponsored other guys. He carried the message. He went to me
Bonus Episode: Why Sobriety Isn’t the Goal (A Special Interview with Christy Osborne of Love Life Sober)
Welcome to the first ever bonus episode of the Confessions podcast! I'm trying something new, and I'm excited to hear what you think. On this special episode, you’re going to hear me on the other side of the mic—instead of interviewing someone, I'm being interviewed. The interviewer? My good friend Christy Osborne, host of the Love Life Sober podcast. In fact, this is actuall
From Pro Soccer Player to four DUIs and Nearly Losing Everything: Ian Faulkner's Incredible Journey of Restoration
“I didn’t want to be sober. I wanted to be free. True freedom is only found in Jesus Christ.” Ian Faulkner looked like he had everything going for him. He grew up in the Church, became one of the top-ranked soccer players in his area, and even played professionally for the Los Angeles Lazers. From the outside, it was the kind of story many people chase: fame, recognition, success
Theologian Brenna Blain Gets Radically Vulnerable About Her Addictions and Faith: “I Knew I Wasn’t Supposed to Do It”
“I knew I wasn’t supposed to do it but I didn’t understand why, because it felt like it was helping and I wasn’t hurting anyone.” That’s how modern-day theologian, author, and speaker Brenna Blain describes her addiction. Addictions, really. Because she didn't just develop one. Even after addressing her disordered relationship with alcohol, she went on to develo
A Pastor's Confession: Andy Reveals His Secret Addiction, Affair, and How God Met Him in His Mess
“I knew all the right things to say about Jesus, but I was living a completely different life when no one was looking.” That’s how Andy describes the reality of leading in the Church while quietly unraveling behind the scenes. Andy wasn’t just a Christian struggling in private—he was a pastor. He was preaching, leading, and helping others follow Jesus, all while hidin
Drunk Poets Society: Poet Amy Leigh Wicks on How Alcohol Stole More Than It Ever Delivered
“Alcohol is not a kind or fair lover.” That’s how Amy Leigh Wicks describes the relationship that quietly shaped her life for years—one that didn’t always look chaotic from the outside, but was slowly taking more than it ever gave. Amy is a poet, professor, actor, and mom. But long before the PhD, the published poetry books, and the life she has now, there was a diffe
The Identity Crisis We're All Facing: Jamie Winship on Fear, Finding our Identity, and His Own Alcohol Addiction
“Most people don’t actually know who they are. And when you don’t know who you are, you will always live in fear.” What if your struggles with alcohol, food, or whatever else is tripping you up wasn't about the substance as much as it was about something below the surface you never would have put your finger on? Today's guest, Jamie Winship, has a pulse on what that "thing"
He Loved Jesus but Couldn’t Stop Drinking: How JP Graves Went from Hidden Addiction to True Freedom
“You think you’re losing your best friend, but you’re gaining the ultimate friend in Jesus.” That’s how JP Graves describes what it felt like to walk away from alcohol. I felt that, too. Alcohol was always there for me no matter what. It told me I was right, it comforted me when I was wrong, and it always made it better—even if “better” was flee
When the Drinking Problem Doesn't Look Like a Problem: Heidi Mills on the Signs Alcohol Might Be an Issue
“It was taking so much more of me than it was giving.” That’s how Heidi Mills describes her relationship with alcohol—and not in a dramatic, rock-bottom kind of way. In fact, that’s what makes her story so relatable. There wasn’t a single moment where everything fell apart. Instead, there was a long, quiet, up-and-down relationship with alcohol that looked norma
Chronic Illness, Suffering, and the Idols We Don’t Recognize: Kimberly Phinney's Story of Perseverance
“Suffering brings you to the end of yourself and you have to decide—do I love the Giver or do I love the gifts the most?” That realization didn’t come easily for Kimberly Phinney. It came after years of chasing the kinds of addictions people rarely call addictions at all—perfectionism, workaholism, people-pleasing, and the relentless drive to prove your worth. And it
Your Shame Story: Dr. Zoe Shaw on Why We All Have One and What We Can Do About It
“Everyone has a shame story.” That’s from this week’s guest, Dr. Zoe Shaw. And she’s right. Shame isn’t reserved for the dramatic or the scandalous. It’s universal. It goes back to the garden. It hides deep. And it quietly shapes far more of our behavior than we’d like to admit. Dr. Zoe is a licensed psychotherapist, speaker, and author of Stronger i
Simon Cowell Gave Him a Record Deal, and Yet He Still Wasn't Fulfilled: Eddie Brett on Hitting Rock Bottom and Finding Jesus
“I feel like I’m seeing colors now that I didn’t know existed.” There should be a study done on how many recovering addicts say this exact thing (or something similar) about colors and their senses. It's what I said after getting sober and pursuing Jesus, and it's what Eddie Brett told me happened to him after he did the same thing. Eddie is someone who had it all. He
Holding Onto Hope Amidst Depression, Anxiety, and Uncertainty: Tanner Olson on Getting Through What You're Going Through
“Hope does not know how to leave. It just stays and quietly whispers, 'everything’s going to be okay. I know everything isn’t okay right now. Everything’s going be okay.'” That's from Tanner Olson, an absolutely incredible poet who has a lot to say about the things that plunge us into addiction in the first place. His poetry isn't unreachable, though. It's poetry that
He Wrote CeCe Winans' 'Come Jesus Come.' Stephen McWhirter Now Reveals His Past Struggles with Addiction and Forgiveness.
“Forgiveness isn’t condoning what happened. It’s choosing not to let it destroy you anymore. … I forgave my dad more times than I can count, and I’ll probably keep forgiving him forever.” Those are the beautiful words from Stephen McWhirter. You might not know McWhirter's name, but you do know his songs. Especially one of them. That’s because he’s t
Addiction, Trauma, and Rewiring Your Brain: Dr. Lee Warren Explains the Art of Self-Brain Surgery
“You are not stuck because of what happened. You’re stuck because your brain keeps running the same play. And your brain is always ready to run a new one the moment you tell it to.” That's just one of the incredible insights from practicing neurosurgeon Dr. Lee Warren, who joins us today to talk about a practice he calls "self-brain surgery." In this conversation, Lee explains ho
Addiction as Spiritual Warfare? Joel Muddamalle on Why Our Struggles Are Bigger Than We Think
“Addiction promises control, comfort, and rescue—but it actually strips all of those things away. It intoxicates you so you can no longer discern what’s really happening.” Is addiction merely a personal struggle—or is it part of a much larger spiritual battle? In this episode, Joel Muddamalle helps us rethink addiction through the lens of spiritual warfare, not in a s
The 'Good Christian' Missionary Who Still Struggled with Alcohol: Ali Kennedy's Story of Obedience and Letting Go
“It wasn’t about how much I drank—it was about how much mental and heart space it occupied. I loved it more than I wanted to admit.” That realization for Ali Kennedy didn’t come during a dramatic rock bottom. Instead, it came after years of managing, moderating, and justifying a relationship with alcohol that looked fine on the outside but was slowly crowding out joy,
He Relapsed After 5 Years of Sobriety: Jeramy Houghton on Obedience, Pride, and Honest Surrender
“I got prideful. I was like, ‘I’m never going to drink again.’ And then all of a sudden… it looked really good.” This conversation with Jeramy Houghton is a reminder that recovery is rarely clean or linear. Jeramy shares how growing up in an unsafe home shaped his sense of stability long before alcohol ever entered the picture. When drinking did become part of
A Poison Disguised as a Remedy: Ericka Andersen on Christian Drinking Culture and How It Harms Women
“Alcohol is a poison disguised as a remedy.” That’s the wisdom Ericka Andersen brings to this conversation—wisdom that developed after years of a quiet struggle that slowly took ahold of her and wouldn't let go. Like many evangelicals nowadays, she assumed drinking was neutral, normal, and largely harmless. But over time, she began to notice a widening gap between what alco
High-Functioning Anxiety and the Hidden Cost of Numbing Pain: Ericka Graham on OCD, Scrupulosity, and What Addictions Really Cost Us
“When I numbed anxiety and uncertainty, I also numbed beauty and joy.” That moment of clarity from Ericka Graham came after years of abusing prescription drugs, when God met her in a beautiful way involving a bumble bee and a flower. The point? Substances numb the bad, sure, but they also numb the good. But addiction isn't the whole of Ericka's story. From a young age, she also struggl
Special Needs Parenting and the Hidden Alcohol Struggle of a Christian Mom: Carol McCracken's Honest Story
“If you think you have an issue, you probably do.” That sentence from Carol McCracken gets to the heart of this week's episode. Carol didn’t fit the picture she had in her mind of what an alcoholic looked like. She was a Christian. A Bible study teacher. A ministry leader. A good mom. And for years, she told herself the same thing many of us do: I don’t have a problem&
The One Question You're Not Asking Yourself: Nicole Zasowski on Learning to Hope Again
“We can think and act our way to a new feeling. We cannot feel our way to a new way of thinking and acting.” That line from therapist and author Nicole Zasowski cuts to the heart of anxiety, addiction, and the stories we tell ourselves when life feels uncertain. Nicole is the author of What If It’s Wonderful?—a book built around a disarming and deeply important question: Wh
The Christian Leader with Secret Struggles: How Brandon Ricks Went from Burnout to Healing by Naming His Pain (Episode 31)
“I don’t want to be 60 years old having the same issues I had when I was 25.” What an honest and important statement from this week's guest, Brandon Ricks. Because the truth is, too many of us have just resigned ourselves to always being the way we are now. The fight for something different is hard, and so we give up. Brandon, though, finally had enough, and he started the painfu
What Trauma Really Is and Why Your Origin Story Matters with Therapist Adam Young (Episode 30)
“Trauma does not reside in the bad event. Trauma is what becomes embedded in your body in the wake of a bad event when there’s no one there to comfort you.” What if you've been viewing trauma all wrong? And what if you don't think you've experienced trauma but you actually have? My guest this week is renowned trauma therapist Adam Young, and we're having a powerful conversation o
The People-Pleasing Pastor Who Had an Affair: Tim Sexton's Story of Redemption (Episode 29)
“We all just have different medicines that we reach for.” That’s how Tim Sexton describes the real story behind the affair that blew up his life. Even though at one point that affair led to his downfall as a pastor, today it's not something he hides from. Instead, he's leaning into it in hopes to help others, and one of the ways he's doing that is by calling out the roots that ru
Can Christians Keep on Sinning? 'Bible Nerd' Faith Womack Reveals Why Hypocrisy Is Your Greatest Testimony (Episode 28)
“Our hypocrisy is our testimony. That’s God’s glory on display.” That truth from Faith Womack is exactly what those of us with messy sanctification stories not only need to hear, but embrace and embody. We all fall short. We all stumble. And yet, God uses our weakness—not our polished moments—to reveal His power and his grace. Faith Womack is one of the most pop
From a World Series to a Prison Cell: The Addiction and Redemption Story of Brandon Puffer (Episode 27)
“I was tormented. Literally tormented. I'd look in the mirror and go, ‘What are you doing? That’s not you.’” Brandon Puffer had everything, or so it seemed. He was a Major League pitcher with a World Series ring and was even being groomed to be a big league coach. But beneath the success were so many secret wounds that he refused to deal with. One night, after years o
How to Heal the Brokenness Inside: Counselor Chuck DeGroat on Trauma, Disconnection, and Coming 'Home' to the Most Flourishing Life Possible (Episode 26)
“Sin’s power is disconnection.” That's one of the essential ideas that runs through what therapist and author Chuck DeGroat talks about in this episode. A longtime pastor and counselor, Chuck isn't just commenting on burnout and addiction from afar—he's actually lived it. In fact, he opens up about his own journey of breaking down in his early forties, when his body and sou
The Woman Who Became a Porn Addict: Kirby Kelly Tells Her Story of Keeping Secrets and the Key to Breaking Free (Episode 25)
“Sin doesn’t care who you are or what you’ve seen—it’s coming for all of us.” That theme runs through Kirby Kelly’s story. See, she's part of a group of women you don't often hear about: females that struggle (or have struggled) with pornography addiction. Kirby's story is heartbreaking: She was exposed to pornography at four years old, again at seven, and
How Freedom From Any Addiction Can Start Today: John Elmore's Journey From Nearly Ending It All to Lasting Transformation (Episode 24)
“Getting sober without salvation is like giving a painkiller to a cancer patient.” That’s how John Elmore describes the difference between behavior modification and true transformation. He'd know. He was on the verge of ending it all with a shotgun when he finally realized his problem went deeper than just the alcohol. In this powerful and deeply personal conversation, John share
How Hannah Brencher Overcame Her Phone Addiction, and How You Can Too (Episode 23)
“I didn’t know how to sit still with myself. I didn’t want to be alone with myself.” That’s what Hannah Brencher realized when she was finally able to admit she was an addict. But she wasn't addicted to any substance. Instead, she suffered from an addiction much more common, much more acceptable: her phone. And so many of us share that addiction. Hannah, one of my fav
When Rock Bottom Isn’t Rock Bottom: How Stephanie Ziebell Went from Party Girl to Working Mom with a Wine Problem (Episode 22)
“Once I started drinking, I didn’t want to stop until something made me.” That’s how Stephanie Ziebell describes the grip alcohol had on her life. Stephanie got sober in Wisconsin—the capital of drinking culture. The place where not having alcohol at your wedding is like not having a bride. But as she shares, even in the middle of a state built on beer, Jesus met her
Curt Thompson on What We All Get Wrong About Shame, and Why Bearing Our Wounds Is So Important (Episode 21)
“Shame is first and foremost not a thing that begins with me thinking a certain thing about myself. It begins first as a thing that I feel literally in my body.” That’s how Dr. Curt Thompson reframed shame in our incredible conversation—and I think he'll probably do the same for you, too. Curt is a psychiatrist, author, and speaker who has shaped the conversation around sha
High-Performing to Healing: How Female Entrepreneur Julie Holly Found Freedom from High-Functioning Drinking (Episode 20)
“High performers can hold it together—but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy.” That’s how Julie Holly describes the tension she lived in for years. On the outside, she was a successful entrepreneur, coach, and podcaster. But on the inside, alcohol was becoming her go-to solution for stress, escape, and the ache of not belonging. And like many high-performers, her su
'Sobering': Actress Sarah Zanotti on Drunk Driving with Her Niece, OCD, and God's Radical Grace (Episode 19)
“If I’m numbing the lows, I’m numbing the highs. And then I’m just in this nothingness.” Here's the thing about alcohol: So many of us use it to numb the lows, but alcohol isn't a precision numbing agent. What does that mean? That while it can be useful to deal with the valleys, it also keeps you from enjoying the peaks. That’s exactly how Sarah Zanotti describe
What Actually Is 'Abiding with Christ'? Kyle Worley on the True Goal of Salvation and Coming Home to God (Episode 18)
“Forgiveness is not the goal of salvation. Fellowship with God is the goal of salvation.” Think about that for a second. I had to. That’s how Kyle Worley reframes the Gospel in his new book, Home with God. And at first glance, it may seem...odd. Because so many of us think salvation is mainly about getting our sins forgiven so we can go to heaven. But Kyle rightly blows that up.
Why You Do What You Don't Want to Do: Cognitive Dissonance, Parts Work, and the Power of Curiosity with Dr. Alison Cook (Episode 17)
“There’s a part of you that drinks and a part of you that doesn’t—and that doesn’t make you crazy. That makes you human.” What happens when your faith says one thing and your actions say another? And what do you do when the coping mechanisms that once helped you survive start controlling you? That’s where today’s conversation lives—right in the
The Former Megachurch Pastor Now Addicted to Grace: Tullian Tchividjian on Scandal, Repentance, and Recovery (Episode 16)
“There are really only two kinds of people in this world—people in recovery who know they are, and people in recovery who think they're not.” Tullian Tchividjian was on top of the Christian world. A bestselling author, megachurch pastor, sought-after speaker—and yes, the grandson of Billy Graham. Then everything imploded. After a very public affair and ministry collap
Generational Trauma, Epigenetics, and Family Healing with Gina Birkemeier: How to Break the Cycle (Episode 15)
“Silence isn’t honor.” Think about that phrase for a second. How many times have we believed the opposite, or been led to believe the opposite? Those words come from Gina Birkemeier. Gina is a licensed professional counselor, speaker, and the author of Generations Deep, one of the best books you'll ever read on breaking generational trauma. She’s also someone who has l
The Christian Dad Who Drank Himself to and Through a Divorce: Suburban Alcohol Culture, Repentance, and Amends with Bill Seymour (Episode 14)
“It doesn’t happen overnight. Just small little incremental concessions.” That’s how Bill Seymour describes his descent into alcoholism—one slow slide at a time. Bill didn’t grow up in chaos. He wasn’t trying to escape trauma. He was raised in a Christian home, went to church every Sunday, married his high school sweetheart, and built a successful creative
You Can't Hate Yourself Healthy: Healing and Drinking More Mindfully with Erin Jean Warde (Episode 13)
"You can’t hate yourself healthy." That’s the kind of line that sticks with you—not just because it’s catchy, but because it’s true. And for Erin Jean Warde, it was the truth that changed everything. In this episode, I sit down with Erin—an ordained Episcopal priest, recovery coach, and author of Sober Spirituality—to talk about what it looks like to build
How to Stop Drinking Without Hitting Rock Bottom: Suburban Mom Christy Osborne Shares Her Story (Episode 12)
“If alcohol is costing you your peace, it’s too expensive.” That idea is what helped Christy Osborne realize she needed to change her relationship with alcohol. Christy didn’t end up in jail. She didn’t wreck her marriage. She wasn’t waking up every morning with the shakes. From the outside, she looked like a thriving mom living the perfect life in London. But i
Anxiety, Alcohol, and the Creativity Lie We've Been Convinced to Believe: Model Kristen Bear on Finding Freedom (Episode 11)
“There is another side. You might not see it yet—but it’s there, and it’s better than you think.” What a line from this week's “Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic” podcast guest, Kristen Bear. Because that’s what this conversation is really about: building something new from the ruins on the other side of what was. Kristen is a model, actress, and
Porn, Sex Addiction, and Internal Family Systems: Why Recovery Is More Than Just Sobriety with Blake Roberts (Episode 10)
“I used to be so pissed that I’m an addict. And now I’m so grateful that I am.” That’s from Blake Roberts, a licensed therapist, writer, and someone who has walked his own road of addiction and healing. In this episode, we dive deep into his story—particularly his struggles with porn and sex addiction—and why he believes recovery is about so much more than
52 Life-Changing Lessons (Dr. Lisa Stanton Pt. 2): Episode 9
“Prayer can come before belief.” That’s the lesson that stopped me in my tracks. In this second conversation with Dr. Lisa Stanton—yes, the first-ever repeat guest on the “Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic” podcast—we go even deeper into her story, her recovery, and her brand-new book 52 Life-Changing Lessons I Learned in Recovery. Lisa doesn’t ho
Brilliant Doctor, Bad Choices (Dr. Lisa Stanton): Episode 8
“My intellect was my greatest obstacle to getting sober.” Dr. Lisa Stanton is the brilliant doctor who made a lot of bad choices. In some ways, she was too smart for her own good. Too smart to get sober, as she says. Until it all caught up with her. In this honest conversation, she opens up about her spiral into alcoholism that began in high school and accelerated through college and i
The Neuroscience of 'Renewing Your Mind' and Changing Your Habits (Dr. Lee Warren): Episode 7
“Your brain is actively rewiring itself every second. The question is: Will you do it on purpose?” That’s from my fascinating conversation with Dr. Lee Warren. Dr. Lee isn’t just a neurosurgeon—he’s a husband, father, Iraq War veteran, and grieving dad who lost his 19-year-old son in a tragic and mysterious death. He’s also one of the most compelling
The Mom with Two DUIs in 72 Hours (Kristi Tanner): Episode 6
"Alcohol was the only relationship I could count on." That’s how Kristi Tanner described her relationship with alcohol, which led to two DUIs in three days over the Fourth of July weekend. It also led to a host of other problems. In this deeply emotional and radically vulnerable conversation, Kristi—also known as the Mocktail Mommy on Instagram—talks about addiction, motherhood,
Staring Into the Abyss (Griffin Gooch): Episode 5
“When you stare into the abyss, don’t be shocked at what stares back at you.” That’s how I open this powerful episode, and it couldn’t be more fitting. This week, I sit down with deep thinker, theologian, and recovering alcoholic Griffin Gooch—whose journey into addiction began not with trauma or peer pressure, but with an overwhelming sense of meaninglessness.
Are You Caught in Mommy Wine Culture? (Jenn Kautsch): Episode 4
"Mommy needs a drink." It's become an all too popular refrain. Go to any Home Goods store or flea market, and you'll find the signs, hand towels, and artwork that declares that not only do moms need a drink, but they deserve a drink. That's the trap that Jenn fell into as she was raising her children. And today, she's doing all she can to expose the dangers and lies of mommy wine culture.&nb
The Pastor Who Became an Alcoholic (Brenton Sconce): Episode 3
Brenton Sconce had the life he thought he wanted. After serving in the church, he finally got the chance to lead his own. Life was good. Until it wasn't. After leading his new congregation through COVID, it quickly became evident that there was unrest and he wasn't the fit he thought he was. So he pulled the plug and moved back home with his wife and child. Pretty quickly, the feelings
Relapse, Trauma, and the Power of Community (Caroline Beidler): Episode 2
Caroline Beidler still vividly remembers cracking open her first beer under a big oak tree. She was 11. In this episode of Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic, host Jon Seidl sits down with Beidler—managing editor of recovery.com, author, and addiction recovery advocate—to explore her powerful story of childhood trauma, early addiction, spiritual awakening, relapse, and ultimate resto
The Bestselling Christian Author Who Became an Alcoholic (Jon Seidl): Episode 1
Welcome to the Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic podcast! In the show's first episode, author and host Jon Seidl tells his detailed story of being the Christian who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. It's usually the other way around, isn't it? And the church seems to be OK with those stories, but what about the stories that are messy like Jon's? Like yours? In an eff
Official Trailer of "Confessions of A Christian Alcoholic"
What happens when a bestselling Christian author becomes an alcoholic—not the other way around? Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic is a raw, redemptive podcast hosted by Jon Seidl, based on his powerful book of the same name. This isn’t just about addiction—it’s about the messy middle of faith, trauma, and healing. In each episode, Jon gets radically vulnerable as he shar
