Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse
This podcast helps listeners understand and recover from narcissistic abuse. Hosted by retired psychologist Dr. Kerry McAvoy, it explores the dynamics of toxic relationships, manipulative tactics, and stages of abuse. The show offers practical steps for healing and reclaiming self-worth. It aims to provide emotional freedom for those who have experienced such relationships.
Episodes
You've Been Brainwashed! How Manipulators Train You to Never Leave
Were you brainwashed to stay — and didn't even know it? A cult doesn't need a compound, robes, or a manifesto. All it needs is two people: one who sets the rules and one who lives by them. Dr. Kerry reads your most powerful wake-up moments — from the woman who recognized every cult trait laid down in the first three months of a nine-year relationship, to the viewer who grew up in a home
Born into a Cult. Then Married a Narcissist. Is Coercive Control Stealing Your Life?
Were you born into a cult — or did you unknowingly marry one? If you've ever felt trapped, controlled, and unable to trust your own reality — whether in a religion, a family system, or a relationship — you may have been living inside a cult of two. Narcissistic abuse operates through the same coercive control and psychological manipulation that keep cult members from ever questioning their re
You Saw the Red Flags and Stayed Anyway. Here’s the Real Reason Why
Why can you spot every red flag, name every tactic, and still find yourself in another toxic relationship? A commenter recently wrote that she had been raised by three narcissists, married to one, dated another for five years, recently lost a friendship to one, and a former partner just resurfaced. She wrapped up by saying “the law of averages can't explain it. So what can?” In this episode,
Nobody Taught Us What a Healthy Relationship Looks Like — Here's the Cost
Nobody taught us what a healthy relationship should feel like. Not in school. Not in graduate training. Not in the culture we grew up in. And that missing lesson? It's costing survivors years of confusion, repeat heartbreak, and an obsession with understanding the very people who harmed them. This week marks a major shift for Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse. After a year of flying solo
Alpine Divorce: When Narcissistic Abuse Turns Physically Dangerous
Have you heard of an Alpine Divorce? During a listener’s two-year marriage to a psychopath, her husband took her hiking and then left her clinging to a rock in gale-force winds while he filmed her terror and laughed. This is what’s commonly called an "Alpine Divorce." It is also an example of malignant sadism.In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks one of the most chilling tactics in a danger
Narcissists Are Waging a Secret War Against You: 5 Dark Psychology Experts Expose Their Tactics
As we honor Memorial Day, there's another war, something that rages invisible, deliberate, and inside the most intimate relationships. This episode is dedicated to you.In this special compilation, 5 world-class experts answer the questions survivors ask most: How did I end up here? Why didn't I see it coming? And why was I the one chosen?Discover how narcissists and dangerous personalit
Why Your Kids May Have Blamed You for the Narcissist's Abuse — and What to Do Now
A listener from Texas writes in: after escaping a narcissistic marriage, her adult daughter is now demanding that she admit that she was an abuser too. How does she reach her daughter now? In this episode, Dr Kerry unpacks one of the most painful and least-talked-about consequences of narcissistic abuse — what happens to your children when you stay. How do you hold two devastating truths at the sa
Childhood Neglect: The Hidden Damage From Narcissistic Families That Follows You Into Every Relationship
Did you experience childhood neglect? If you keep repeating painful patterns in your relationships — choosing wrong partners, feeling invisible, never asking for what you need — this might be why.Dr. Rachna Buxani, author of "Unseen," joins Dr. Kerry to expose the hidden roles children are assigned in narcissistic family systems — and the lasting damage those roles leave behind in every
The Real Reason You Can't Stop Snooping on Your Narcissistic Partner
A YouTube viewer asks: What about someone's makeup drives them to snoop instead of simply addressing the red flags?In this episode, Dr. Kerry digs deeper into a question raised in the February 19, 2026, Fan Mail segment, Feeling the Urge to Snoop on Your Partner? Here's What It's Really Telling You. Learn why victims of narcissistic abuse feel compelled to hunt for proof and why it
Dreading Their Next Message? How to Stop the Toxicity With a Narcissistic Co-Parent
Are you bracing for impact when your phone buzzes?Does every conversation turn into a nasty fight?This week, Sol Kennedy joins Dr. Kerry to reveal why co-parenting is never get better when dealing with a narcissistic or an emotionally immature co-parent. Learn why courts don't understand narcissistic co-parents will never become reasonable and why most co-parenting apps only make the conflict
5 Years of Stalking Hell After an Interaction With a Neighbor
What happens when a simple, healthy boundary triggers five years of stalking, dismantling your life? A viewer declined an odd social interaction with a neighbor that then sparked a stalking campaign that has followed her and her 15-year-old daughter across state lines. Learn what’s called "street theater” and how these repeated tactics were ussd to make this victim sound crazy. In this episod
Confessions of a Womanizer: "How I Became a Narcissist's Perfect Victim"
What happens when the man who spent years love bombing and manipulating women becomes the victim of the very same tactics?This week, Wade Belair joins Dr. Kerry for a raw, unflinching conversation about the shocking overlap between closeted men and narcissistic abuse — and what genuine healing actually requires.Wade grew up the privileged son of an iconic retail brand founder — raised in an elite,
The Dark Truth About Growing Up Without a Mother’s Love
A listener from Australia writes in: "l have been jealous of women who are loved unconditionally because being raised by a mother who cannot or does not love you, fully and completely without condition, entangles every aspect of you until many women are seething with anger, confusion, and hate." In this episode, Kerry McAvoy, PhD explores why the mother wound - the emotional neglect left
Why We Fail to See the Warning Signs When Women Become Dangerous (feat. Anna Motz)
Why are we more afraid of a violent woman than a violent man, even though men commit the vast majority of violent crimes? This week, forensic and clinical psychologist Anna Motz joins Dr. Kerry to pull back the curtain on one of society's most carefully avoided truths: women are capable of real violence, and we've been trained not to see it. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT Find the exclu
When You Finally Leave—Why a Narcissist Becomes a "Monster”
If you're experiencing betrayal trauma after discovering your spouse's secret life, how do you finally leave a long-term narcissistic partner without triggering their rage? A listener from the US writes in, "We've been in and out of therapy for 7 years trying to save our marriage. Two months ago I found out he wasn't sober again. I left and I'm now living with my moth
Keep Finding Yourself in the Same Toxic Relationships? How to Break the Pattern
Have you ever looked back at your relationships and realized they all feel disturbingly familiar? That's not a coincidence — it's your relationship blueprint at work. This week, therapist, bestselling author of Why Do I Keep Doing This?, and mental health YouTuber Kati Morton joins Dr. Kerry to break down why so many of us keep repeating toxic relationship patterns — and what it actuall
Is Your Partner Hiding Money? How Narcissists Use Finances to Control You
Why does a partner hide money, and is it always a sign of financial abuse? A viewer from the US writes in, "He is very good at hiding money using apps and credit cards. How do I find out what he's hiding?" In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down the difference between financial secrecy and financial abuse and how to reclaim your power in an unsafe relationship.Submit Your Question If
Why Covert Narcissists Always Make You Feel Guilty (Even When You've Done Nothing Wrong)
Covert narcissism (NPD) is the hardest form of narcissistic abuse to identify — and the most damaging. Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling like you did something wrong — even though you can't quite explain what? In this episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy sits down with Dr. Anthony Mazzella (The Narcissism Decoder) to break down exactly how covert narcissists use guilt and victimhood
Why Narcissists Always Make Their Victims Look Unhinged
Why does the person who calls out a narcissist end up looking like the unhinged one? A Facebook follower writes in, "Why does the person recognizing and confronting the narcissistic behavior often appear unhinged to everyone else?" In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why narcissists always appear calm and credible while their victims come across as unstable. Submit Your Question If you&a
The #1 Mistake People Make When Divorcing a Narcissist
Are you walking into your divorce expecting the court to finally see the truth about your narcissistic ex? This week, divorce attorney Hannah Bell Hembree joins Dr. Kerry to pull back the curtain on what really happens in the courtroom when you're leaving a narcissist. With nearly two decades of legal experience and her own custody battle behind her, Hannah shares the hard truths every surviv
How to Help a Friend Who Can't Walk Away from a Narcissistic Relationship
My best friend divorced her narcissistic ex two months ago — but she keeps talking to him, then ignoring him, then reaching out again. She says she wants to move on, but she can't seem to break the cycle. In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why leaving a narcissist doesn't automatically break the trauma bond — and what's really driving the painful push-pull your friend can't es
The Scary Reason Why Gaslighting Actually Works (And You’re a Part of the Problem)
Have you ever tried to walk away from a toxic person, only to find yourself right back in the middle of their reality?This week, Dr. Robin Stern (author of The Gaslight Effect) joins Dr. Kerry for a conversation that will change how you view manipulation. Most people think gaslighting is just about lying—but the truth is much darker. It’s a "relational mess" that requires two people to f
Do Narcissists Enjoy Hurting You? Here's Dr. Kerry's Hard Truth
Why does someone who divorces a narcissist keep going back to them? A listener writes in, “My best friend divorced her narcissistic ex two months ago — but she keeps talking to him, then ignoring him, then reaching out again. She says she wants to move on, but she can't seem to break the cycle.” In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why leaving a narcissist doesn't automatically break the
How to Tell You've Met a Narcissist: Coach Dan Ratner's Best Sniff Test
Have you ever felt completely drained after spending time with certain people in your life? This week, Coach Dan Ratner joins Dr. Kerry to explore the hidden world of emotional vampires: the 12 types of energy-draining people we all have in our lives and why narcissists are the most dangerous of them all. Dan shares his powerful KEEPER framework for identifying who truly deserves a place in your l
My Brother Is Stealing My Mother's Final Years & She Refuses to Stop Him
Take the Toxic or Troubled? Quiz and get specialized help for your specific situation. https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/toxic-troubled-surveyMy 62-year-old narcissistic brother moved in with my 86-year-old mother "temporarily" after his divorce six years ago. Now she's suffocating, the rest of the family stays away, and she won't let anyone intervene. In this episode, Dr. Ker
Want to Spot Red Flags the First Time You Meet? How Abusers Reveal Themselves Through Their Words, Featuring Dr. Jennie Young
Ever ignored a gut feeling on a date because you wanted to "give him a chance"? This week, Dr. Jennie Young — PhD linguist and creator of the viral Burned Haystack Dating Method — reveals how the words men use in dating profiles and early messages expose exactly who they are before you've even met. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsle
What to Do When You Can't Leave: How to Protect Yourself from a Coercive Partner
My husband forces sex on me, erupts in rage, and his wealthy family would never believe me — and I don't think I can leave. In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why you can't make an unsafe person safe through effort alone — and why that means your only real lever is increasing your own protection. Learn a practical two-stage framework to manage this impossible situation. Submit Your Que
Why Am I Not Getting Better? The Hidden CPTSD Symptoms That Can Stall Your Healing
You've done the work. Read the books. Tried the strategies. So why aren't you healing? This week, survivor and educator Ellen Tift reveals the hidden CPTSD symptoms quietly keeping you stuck—and why naming them might be the most powerful thing you can do. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here. MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW 🔹
Watch Out for These 7 Empathy Weaponization Tactics That Will Trap You
Have you heard, ‘If you truly understood me, you'd give me what I want?” This week's Fan Mail comes from a listener in Sweden who asks Dr. Kerry to explain how empathy gets weaponized. In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down the 5 types of empathy (affective, cognitive, compassionate, somatic, and perspective-taking) and explains why having empathy doesn't make someone safe. Follow o
Why Did They Pick You? The Trait in ‘Good’ People Narcissists Love to Exploit
Why do narcissists target good, empathetic people in relationships?This week, forensic psychologist Dr. Peter Favaro reveals why being a good person might actually make you MORE vulnerable to narcissists—and how that one irrational belief creates the exact confusion toxic people exploit. Wondering if you met a “bad person?” Find out with this free gift from Dr. Kerry! PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGME
Why Narcissists Follow You When You Move Away—And How to Create Distance That Actually Works
My narcissistic brother is relocating to town after I moved away to escape him—why is he doing this? In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why narcissists will often close the gap when there’s physical distance. How do you gain psychological distance when you can't move away? She also offers helpful strategies for creating boundaries when distance fails. Submit Your Question If you'd like
Struggling with Post-Separation Abuse? Get Real Help from a Surprising Direction
Are you struggling with post-separation abuse and drowning in documentation? This week, Anne Wintemute introduces AimeeSays—an AI tool that helps abuse survivors make sense of chaos, document their experience, and present their story in a way family court will actually hear. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here. MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA
Feeling the Urge to Snoop on Your Partner? Here's What It's Really Telling You
"I found proof he was cheating—but was snooping really what I needed to finally leave?” This week's Fan Mail comes from a listener in Dublin, CA, who, after reading Dr. Kerry's book "Love You More," recognized her own relationship mirrored Dr. Kerry's experience, including the urge to snoop. In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why the urge to snoop is actually all the
How Narcissists Trap You: A New Movie Shows Gaslighting & Coercive Control
Ever wonder why narcissists feel impossible to leave—even when you know something's wrong? This week, filmmakers Ali & Stefanie Schmahl reveal how their docu-fiction hybrid "I Love You My Narcissist" portrays what no other film has: the internal experience of being slowly trapped by someone you love. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT Find the exclusive second segment and weekly ne
When Your Abuser Won't Leave and Won't Change: Here's Your Options
"My abusive partner refuses to leave or get help—and I'm trapped in a 'silent divorce.' What are my actual options?" This week's Fan Mail question comes from a YouTube listener navigating an impossible situation: a long marriage, adult children, religious pressure against divorce, and an abusive partner who wants to maintain the status quo without doing any of the wor
Why You’re Struggling to Feel Empathy for Yourself — Tammy Triolo
Lost empathy for yourself? You've already lost the fight. This week, Tammy Triolo reveals the shocking connection between self-empathy loss and narcissistic abuse. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here. MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW 🔹 Tammy walks you through recognizing when thoughts are just thoughts—not truth—and how to stop su
Gaslit by Your Doctor? Why Healthcare Attracts Narcissists and How to Protect Yourself
“My doctor keeps telling me it's all in my head—but I know something's wrong. Why won't they listen?" This week's Fan Mail question comes from a podcast listener who writes: "Dear Kerry, could you do a podcast on the topic of narcissism, psychopathy and healthcare?…” In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down why healthcare settings attract people who crave power and cont
You’ve Been Made to Think It’s Your Fault: The Truth About Predatory Behavior
Ever wonder why you didn't see it coming? This week, Don Hennessy joins Dr. Kerry to expose the hidden playbook male predators use to infiltrate your mind—without you knowing it happened. We unpack the shocking truth about what predators are actually really after. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIE
Does Narcissism Come and Go? Why Narcissists Seem Better & Then Suddenly Aren't
Does Narcissism Come and Go? What "Good Periods" With a Narcissist Really Mean This week's Fan Mail question comes from a listener in Dubai who writes: "Can narcissism in a person wax and wane? There's been years when my husband was acting like a narcissist, and then there's also been chunks of years where he's been incredibly supportive and uplifting. Can a narc
Coercive Control: How It Steals Your Freedom (Before You Even Realize It) — Dr. Christine Cocchiola
Slowly losing control in your relationship—but can't quite put your finger on what's happening?This week, Dr. Christine Cocchiola breaks down coercive control as the invisible foundation beneath all abuse. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW 🔹 Think you might be losing yourself, but not sure h
Narcissist vs. Narcissist: What Happens When These Two Toxic Personalities Match-Up
"My coworker is a narcissist—and so is our boss. What happens when two narcissists have to work together?" This week's Fan Mail question comes from a YouTube listener who writes: "Thank you for all your content! Very helpful. I am curious to know - what tends to happen when 'a narcissist meets a narcissist' - meaning they are introduced to each other, are coworkers or
Gone No Contact? Why Some Parents Have to Push Away Their Kids
Why do loving parents sometimes push away the very children they'd do anything for? This week, Catherine Hickem joins Dr. Kerry to unpack one of the most painful dynamics in modern families—parental estrangement. We explore how unspoken expectations create invisible walls, why parents mistake control for connection, and how grief work (yes, grief work) is the secret to letting your adult chil
Is It Really Estrangement… Or Is Your Toxic Ex Playing Parental Alienation Games?
A listener pushes back and asks, "How do we know the parent claiming alienation isn't actually the abuser manipulating the narrative?"When a child rejects contact with a parent after separation, is it parental alienation or justified estrangement?In this week's fan mail, a listener pushes back with a challenge about a previous episode that aired October 16, 2025, titled "W
Devastated After Betrayal? Here's Why: The Hidden Abuse That No One Talks About
Ever wonder why betrayal feels so devastating—like more than just cheating? This week, Hope Ray joins Dr. Kerry to introduce the concept of betrayal violence: the intersection of infidelity and abuse that most people don't recognize. We explore how sexual secrets strip partners of their consent and autonomy.PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newslet
Can Someone Be Both Covert AND Overt? Understanding Narcissistic Types & What Actually Matters
"My partner has traits of both covert and overt narcissism—is that possible?" This week's Fan Mail question comes from a podcast listener who writes: "Can a person be both a covert and an overt narcissist? I'm hearing the descriptions of each and my partner has traits of both." In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down the confusing language around narcissistic types—wha
You Can Love Them and Still Be Exploited: Sexual Coercion with Cult Expert Pamela Takefman
Ever wondered how someone can exploit you sexually while you still love them?This week, Pamela Takefman joins Dr. Kerry to explain how sexual coercion works—and why it doesn’t always require kidnapping or obvious physical force to be real. Learn how perpetrators gradually test boundaries until extreme exploitation feels normal, and why loving your abuser doesn’t mean the abuse isn’t real.PODCAST E
Narcissistic In-Laws: Why They Deny the Truth (and What to Do)
Ever wonder why your in-laws rallied around your abusive partner instead of protecting you? This episode explores one of the most painful dynamics in narcissistic abuse: when families choose to protect the abuser and paint YOU as the problem. We revisit a past interview with Rossana where she shares her firsthand experience of this dynamic along with a Fan Mail listener who experienced something s
When Dangerous People Don't Look Scary: How to Spot the Dark Triad Personality Type
Can a psychopath be a good person? And how do we spot dangerous people when they seem so charming? This holiday special brings you an in-depth answer to one of your most-asked questions with highlights from Dr. Kerry's interview with Tara Blair Ball about the Dark Triad Personality. We explore why dangerous people don't look scary and the critical difference between niceness and kindnes
How Do I Know If I'm in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship? Watch for These Signs
"How do I know if I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship?" asks a YouTube listener. In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why even asking this question is an important sign of possible trouble. Dr Kerry will outline what emotional abuse actually looks like (hint: it's not about one-off incidents—it's about patterns) and why you might feel like you're shrinking or wa
When Your Family Chooses the Narcissist Over You: What Survivors Must Know
Ever felt like you're the problem in your family—even when you're the one being hurt?This week, Ágatha Peters joins Dr. Kerry to explore how cultural expectations and family loyalty create the perfect conditions for narcissistic abuse to thrive undetected. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW 🔹
Why Does Surviving Narcissistic Abuse Turn You into Someone You Don't Recognize?
You dodged a bullet!" No—the bullet hit me. I just survived.This week's Fan Mail question comes from a YouTube listener who writes: "People tell me I dodged a bullet. But the bullet hit me—I just survived. I feel like it turned me into a monster. The PTSD caused me to start reacting more strongly to smaller triggers and even did abusive things myself in what I felt was self-defense.
How are Narcissists Made: Is it Trauma or Genetic? Here's What Dr. Salerno Thinks
Is narcissism caused by genetics or trauma? Ever heard “narcissists act that way because of bad parenting" or “because they’ve experienced trauma?” This week, Dr. Peter Salerno returns to challenge everything you thought you knew about the cause of narcissistic personality disorder. We're diving into the controversial science of heritability. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENTFind the exclu
Were You the Family Scapegoat? Why Sensitive People Get Targeted First
This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a Spotify listener: “Can you please do an episode on scapegoat children?”Why do some people get scapegoated, especially in families? Dr. Kerry explains the role of the scapegoat and how families use this person to address systemic stress and dysfunctional. Submit Your Question If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://kerrymcavoy
How Dangerous People Target You (Without You Even Knowing it!)
Ever wonder why you didn't see the danger coming?This week, Dr. Leslie Dobson joins Dr. Kerry to unpack the psychological mechanisms that drive narcissistic and antisocial behavior. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENTFind the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW🔹 Red flags you're missing: how to spot pressure, boundary testing, and groomi
Why Don't Narcissists Feel Regret? And 4 Other Questions You Need Answered, Featuring Dr. Les Carter
Dr. Les Carter has spent decades studying narcissists, and in this retrospective, he reveals what most people miss until it's too late.We revisit five groundbreaking conversations about what's really happening behind the mask.Get a glimpse into the weekly Substack newsletter with this week’s complimentary copy. Sign up today using this link.Dr. Carter may have produced his last video, bu
Does the Dark Triad Personality Type Really Exist & Is This Person Dangerous?
“Is the Dark Triad a real disorder—or just a dangerous type?”This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener in Germany who writes after a recent video:“You called ‘dark triad’ a personality disorder, but it isn’t in the DSM-5. Isn’t it a subclinical descriptor?”In this episode, Dr. Kerry clarifies what is the Dark Triad and why we need to get better at spotting this type of personality. Submi
When You Feel Less & Less Safe: How Coercive Control Steals Your Freedom & Choice
Ever feel like you’re slowly running out of air in a “nice” relationship?This week, Eleni Sagredos joins Dr. Kerry to unpack how coercive control hides behind charm and “preferences.”PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENTFind the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW 🔹 Learn how escalation works—and why “just leave” can be a privilege, yet safety plann
How Do I Help My Adult Son Who's in an Abusive Marriage?
“My son’s in a toxic marriage—how do we help without making it worse?”This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener in Raleigh, North Carolina:“My adult son is in a toxic marriage with a likely narcissist. He’s miserable, says he wants out, but stays—partly because of their three young kids. How can we support him when he shares the emotional abuse without pushing or making things worse?”In
How Abusive Relationships Shatter Your Identity & Cost You Your Voice
Ever feel like you can’t find “you” anymore? That you’re second-guessing everything, going numb, or swallowing your words just to keep the peace?This week, psychologist Dr. Shahrzad Jalali joins Dr. Kerry to unpack how long-term emotional abuse scrambles your nervous system and leads to identity confusion. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENTFind the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.
My Abusive Husband Claims He’s Trauma-Bonded to Me!
“My abuser claims he’s ‘trauma bonded’ to me…Can that be true?This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener on YouTube who wants to know how common it is for an abusive partner to be trauma bonded. Hers claims to be. She’s wonders if this true or if her partner is attempting to dodge responsibility. Submit Your QuestionIf you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://ker
Has Your Adult Child Gone No Contact? Here's How to Rebuild That Damaged Relationship
Has your adult child gone no contact? Cut off all communication with you? Are you struggling to figure out how to repair things with them?This week, psychologist and author Dr. Joshua Coleman, author of Rules of Estrangement, joins Dr. Kerry to unpack why estrangement is on the rise and what actually helps parents reopen the door.Podcast Extra Exclusive InterviewFind the exclusive second segment a
Can a Psychopath ‘Choose’ to Be a Good Person?
“Can narcissists or psychopaths ever live moral lives?”This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener who asks: “Do you think there are some narcissists or psychopaths who genuinely try to live moral lives—perhaps guided by religion or conscience—or are they all just pretending?”Her question was prompted by years of watching her ex, a man she believes to be a malignant narcissist, play the pa
Why You Keep Picking Narcissists and What to Do About It, Featuring Jessica Baum
Ever wonder why you keep attracting the same kind of person—the ones who feel magnetic at first but end up draining you emotionally?This week, therapist and author Jessica Baum, creator of Anxiously Attached and SAFE: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building Secure Relationships, joins Dr. Kerry to explore the hidden attachment wounds that pull us toward toxic partners. Podcast Extra Exclusive Int
Why I Stopped Being the Perfect Wife and Daughter-in-Law
“How can someone seem loving for years—then suddenly turn cruel?”This week’s Fan Mail revisits a letter that struck a nerve with listeners. A woman wrote about her daughter-in-law, who had seemed like a wonderful addition to the family for seven years—until she “suddenly turned into a monster.”But after the episode aired, Dr. Kerry received another listener’s response who offered the opposite pers
Can You Spot the 5 Types of People Who Could Ruin Your Life? Here's Bill Eddy's List
Ever feel blindsided by someone who seemed charming, helpful, or even caring—only to realize later they were quietly dismantling your peace?This week, conflict expert Bill Eddy, author of The Five Types of People That Ruin Your Life, joins Dr. Kerry to unpack the five high-conflict personality types most likely to cause chaos in relationships, workplaces, and families.Podcast Extra Exclusive Inter
My Ex is Blaming Me For His Broken Relationships With Our Kids
“Why does my ex always blame me when the kids want nothing to do with him?”This week’s Fan Mail comes from a listener in Rochester, New York, who writes about the heartbreak of watching her children pull away from their abusive father, only to be blamed for it.Her ex insists she’s turned the kids against him, while his family defends him as “such a good man” who’s “done so much for us.”In this epi
Why Narcissists Use Secrets to Avoid Intimacy
Ever feel like your relationship was the most intoxicating connection of your life—only to discover shocking lies and betrayal later?This week, intimacy expert Gary Katz reveals how narcissists protect themselves by keeping secrets, building false connections, and manipulating trust.Podcast Extra Exclusive InterviewFind the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.More About the Podcast
My Husband Claims His Facebook Account Has Been Hacked!…
What do you do when the evidence points to betrayal, but your partner insists you’re crazy?This week’s Fan Mail comes from a listener in Atlanta, Georgia, who describes the heartbreak of suspecting her husband of nearly 50 years is living a double life. Despite finding suspicious phone activity and even an STD clinic reference, her husband denies everything—blaming and belittling her instead.In th
Why It’s So Hard to See Predators Coming: The Story Behind Netflix's Bad Vegan
Predators are often hiding in plain sight—and even the smartest, most capable people can miss the red flags. In this episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy talks with Sarma Melngailis, the former restaurateur whose story was told in Netflix’s Bad Vegan. Sarma opens up about how she was manipulated, criminalized, and misrepresented—and why her memoir The Girl with the Duck Tattoo finally tells the truth. Resour
What to Do When You Lose Custody in Court: Answering Your Fan Mail
This week’s Fan Mail brings us two powerful questions: • From Syracuse, New York: “The family referee took my custody and handed it over to the father who was absent for years. My children have been separated from their siblings, and I’m only allowed one hour a week of visitation. The court won’t let me present my evidence, and I feel silenced and helpless. What can I do?” From Wichita, KansasAnd
Podcast Trailer: Welcome to Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse
Join Dr. Kerry McAvoy on Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse for real talk about toxic relationships and recovery. Mondays feature expert interviews, Thursdays bring our new Fan Mail Q&A. Get clarity, validation, and tools to heal.Stay in Touch with Dr. Kerry!YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. KerryKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivat
When Men Say They’ve Been Abused: A Conversation with Josh from The Derelict Podcast
Disclaimer: This interview features perspectives from a male divorce coach navigating toxic dynamics. While some views expressed differ from those of trauma-informed psychology, I found it valuable to explore these tensions in real time. Please listen with care, and note that I challenge certain assumptions as we go. This week, I sit down with Josh Tomeoni, a divorce coach who shares his story of
When Your Therapist is the Narcissist! + Answering Your Fan Mail
What happens when a narcissistic therapist uses their professional training against you?This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener in Seattle who writes: “I dated a narcissist who was also a licensed clinical social worker. Can you talk about the weaponization of therapeutic training by narcissists?”In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks how narcissistic mental health professionals can use ps
How the Victim’s Personality & Attachment Styles Shape Healing and Recovery - Featuring Chelli Pumphrey
Do you know what one of the most dangerous traps you can fall for? Believing that you can “fix” a narcissist’s early attachment wounds. In this exclusive episode, therapist and author Chelli Pumphrey explains why narcissists rarely have secure attachments.PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW Find it here for the exclusive interview and weekly newsletter. MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA 🔹 What’s the atta
Can You Really Heal a Trauma Bond? + Why Do Narcissists Cheat? Answering Your Fan Mail
Can you really heal a trauma bond—or is the damage permanent? This week’s Fan Mail features two powerful questions. The first comes from a YouTube listener who asks: “Is it really possible to break a trauma bond? Even Dr. Ramani says she still struggles daily—so what’s the point of fighting, especially if kids are involved?” The second comes from a listener in New York, New York who wants to know:
When Your Mother Hurts Instead of Loves You: Understanding The Controlling Mom
Can you ever be “good enough” for a difficult mother? In this episode, psychotherapist Katherine Fabrizio, author of The Good Daughter Syndrome, reveals why empathic daughters feel trapped in cycles of guilt, exhaustion, and approval-seeking—and how to reclaim your power and identity finally. Tronick’s Still (Blank) Face ExperimentPODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW Find it here: https://substack.co
Why Do We REALLY Stay? Answering Your Fan Mail
This week’s fan mail dives into two powerful questions about surviving emotional abuse.First, Dr. Kerry explores what it means when you stop crying—and why emotional shutdown can be a survival mechanism in toxic relationships. Then she tackles whether the sunk cost fallacy is really what keeps us stuck with a narcissist, or if something deeper is at play.Submit Your Question!If you would like your
How to Outsmart a Narcissist in Court: Family Law Secrets from Michele Locke
Going through a custody battle or divorce with a narcissist? The you know the legal system can feel stacked against you.This week, former family law judge and attorney Michele Locke reveals exactly how narcissists twist the truth, exploit legal loopholes, and weaponize the court process — and what you can do to outsmart them.Podcast Extra Exclusive InterviewFind it here the exclusive interview and
Practical Steps to Stopping the Crazy Confusion: Answering Your Fan Mail
What do you do when you can’t just cut off a toxic person?This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a YouTube listener who asks: “How do I stop the cognitive dissonance and self-doubt when I can’t go no-contact with a toxic person?”In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why cognitive dissonance is such a powerful trap in emotionally abusive relationships—especially when you’re forced to maintain conta
Why We Miss the Abuse — And How to Break Free from the Confusion
Why do so many survivors miss they’re being abuse?In this Labor Day Special, I’m revisiting three powerful interviews that follow the journey from denial to freedom.Whether you’re still in or out of a toxic relationship, learning to recognize the psychological patterns can help you plan your next step toward freedom.Have a Fan Mail Question? Submit it here!Submit your question to be answered on ai
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