How To Love Yourself No Matter What
This podcast is for deep-feeling women who feel stuck despite their efforts. Host Amanda Hess, a certified life coach, offers honest coaching, personal stories, and practical tools to help listeners get out of their heads, stop managing emotions like a full-time job, build self-trust, and live on their own terms. New episodes are released every Thursday.
Episodes
326. If Punishing Yourself Worked, You'd Have Healed By Now
If punishing yourself worked, you'd have healed by now. That's a line I said in a class recently, and I can't stop coming back to it. Most of us have been taught that when we're not getting what we want in life, the fix is to punish ourselves. We just don't call it that. We call it "holding myself accountable," or "making sure I don't make the same mistake twice," or needing a system and a list an
325. Invisible Sin: The Truth About The Woman Who Cheats
Today we're talking about something I've wanted to make an episode about for a long time: infidelity. Specifically, the woman who cheats.If that's you, I already know you're carrying a crushing weight — the secrecy, the panic, the shame society piles on top. Because we've all been told that cheating is the ultimate, unforgivable relationship sin. But after years of coaching and hundreds of women,
324. Everybody is not an idiot. Not even you. Why changing this one belief will change your entire life for the better
This episode is all about judgment: why we're so quick to hand out labels, and what happens when we stop. It started with a lightbulb moment at a family gathering that turned into a bit of a masterclass in how fast our brains reach for judgment over understanding.We're digging into why choosing to believe that everyone — yes, even the guy who just cut you off in traffic — is doing their best can g
323. Leaning Into the Messy Life — Why Deciding Life Is Supposed to Be Messy Will Save Your Happiness
Life is messy. Yours, mine, everyone's. And somewhere along the way we decided that was the problem. Something to clean up before we're allowed to be happy.It's not.I'm Amanda Hess, certified life coach, and this episode is about a trap I watch women live in for years. The "I'll be happy when." When the house is calm. When the hard thing is over. When I finally have it together.The messy and the h
322. Summer Shame: Why Sunshine Doesn't Always Equal Happiness
Summer isn’t always the sun-soaked paradise we imagine it to be, and today, we’re diving headfirst into the sticky, sometimes cringe-worthy world of summertime shame. It’s a unique flavor of shame that creeps up on us when we’re basking in the sun, and trust me, I’ve seen it pop up in all sorts of unexpected places. Whether it’s about how we look in a swimsuit or feeling like we should be doing mo
321. Why You Don't Have a Self-Love Problem, But a Shame Problem
Here's this episode: I'm going after the thing nobody wants to name.Everyone tells you the problem is that you don't love yourself enough. It's not. The problem is shame. That's it. That's the whole thing. Shame is what shows up the second you're anything less than perfect, and every single human on the planet has it — but women get handed a bigger pile of it. We're taught to feel shame about our
320. Take Back Your Life: The Case Against Responsibility Hoarding
Are you a responsibility hoarder? Well, if you've ever felt like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, this episode is right up your alley! We’re diving headfirst into the intriguing concept of responsibility hoarding, a term that packs a punch and might just hit a little too close to home for some of us. We chat about how many of us take on responsibilities that are way outsi
319. Sometimes the Truth Doesn't Serve You
Alright, folks! So today we’re diving headfirst into the wild world of self-criticism and the liberating idea that sometimes, the truth just doesn’t serve us. Picture this: you drop a glass and suddenly you’re the clumsy villain of your own story! But guess what? It’s time to flip the script! I’m here to chat with you about how our interpretations of our little blunders can spiral into a tsunami o
318. Navigating Family Drama Like a Pro: Patterns, Pleasing, and Perception!
Alright, folks, let’s dive into some juicy family dynamics! Today, we're peeling back the layers on why family gatherings feel like stepping into a well-rehearsed play where everyone knows their lines—especially those cringe-worthy ones. The real kicker? It’s not about the events themselves; it's about the patterns we’ve been stuck in since we were knee-high to a grasshopper. We're talking about t
317. Accountability Or Self-Love — The hidden shame of motivation and accountability
DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU SET A GOAL, PUSH HARD FOR A FEW DAYS—AND THEN FALL OFF AND WONDER WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?Like no matter how many times you try, you can't seem to make yourself do the things you say you want to do?If that's you, this episode is going to change how you see yourself.Because it's not that you're lazy. And it's not that you lack discipline.It's that the fuel you've been using
316. What Happens When the Helper Can't Handle You (When Coaches & Therapists Shame You)
What Happens When the Helper Can't Handle YouThere is a systemic failure happening in the helping industry — and nobody is talking about it.Coaches and therapists are opening emotional doors they are completely unprepared to sit in. And when you show up authentically — crying, angry, overwhelmed, resistant — instead of being held, you get shut down. Pathologized. Shamed into getting small.I'm reco
How To Become The Woman You Secretly Want To Be
Do you ever feel like there’s a version of you that wants more out of life…More joy.More confidence.More freedom.More YOU.But every time you try to move toward her, something pulls you back?In this episode, we’re talking about identity, possibility, and why becoming the woman you want to be has less to do with “fixing yourself” and more to do with what your brain believes is possible for you.I sha
314. Silence Your Inner Critic: The Power of Quiet Time
Today I’m talking about something I see constantly in women who are overwhelmed, emotionally reactive, anxious, or stuck in survival mode: the inability to slow down and be alone with themselves.So many of us are constantly doing. Working, parenting, helping everyone else, consuming self-help, listening to podcasts, journaling, trying to improve ourselves, trying to stay productive — and while non
313. How to Build a Fuck Yes Life With a Sensitive Brain
Let me tell you, if you’ve ever felt like you just can’t shake off a past hurt, you’re in for a treat. We’re diving into the fascinating world of trauma—what it really is and why it affects us all differently. I’m talking about the sneaky ways that emotional pain can manifest in our daily lives, from the tone of someone’s voice to the way silence can feel like a punch in the gut. It turns out that
312. You Don’t Need More Self-Improvement
Alright friend, grab your gardening gloves because today we’re talking about something really important: how to create a life that actually blooms.The biggest takeaway from this episode?I think we spend way too much time pulling weeds and not nearly enough time planting flowers.You know how in spring we clean out our gardens? We pull out the dead stuff, clear the weeds, make space for something ne
311. Why Mantras & Journaling Aren’t Working (And What To Do Instead)
If you’ve been repeating affirmations, journaling your thoughts, and still feeling stuck… we need to talk.Because it’s not that you’re doing it wrong.It’s that these tools aren’t actually designed to create the kind of change you’re looking for.In this episode, I’m breaking down why mantras and journaling often don’t work—especially for sensitive, self-aware women—and what to do instead.Mantras ca
310. Why You Feel “Too Emotional” (And Why You’re Not)
If you’ve ever thought “why am I so emotional?” or felt like you’re just too sensitive for this world, this episode is going to shift everything.Because what if the problem isn’t your emotions…but what you’ve been taught to believe about them?In this episode, I’m breaking down the hidden conditioning that makes sensitive women feel weak, overwhelmed, or “too much”—and why that narrative is not onl
309. How to Stop Feeling Like You’re Perpetually Dismissed
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308. Why You Can't Let Things Go (It's Not Your Fault)
Do you ever feel like you just… can’t let things go?Like something happens and other people move on—but you’re still thinking about it days, weeks, or even years later?If that’s you, this episode is going to change how you see yourself.Because it’s not that you’re overreacting.And it’s not that you’re too sensitive.It’s that your brain and body are trying to process past hurt—and no one has ever s
307. Sensitive Not Fragile
If you’ve been told your whole life that you’re “too sensitive”…and somewhere along the way you started believing that meant you’re fragile…This episode is for you.Because sensitivity is not the problem.But not understanding how to work with it?That’s where things start to break.In this episode, I’m breaking down what sensitivity actually is (hint: it’s not just crying), why so many women feel lik
306. Deciding You Are Relevant - How To Stop Feeling Invisible In Your Life
What if the reason you feel invisible… isn’t actually about other people?In this episode, I’m sharing something that came up in a coaching session — and it hit deeper than I expected.Because while most of us wouldn’t say “I feel irrelevant,” we feel it in subtle ways:When someone doesn’t listen to usWhen we don’t feel validatedWhen we feel overlooked in conversationsWhen our reactions feel bigger
305. Feeling Overwhelmed? Plant Yourself in the Moment
This episode is a little different.It’s actually a practice I shared with my private clients this week while I’m in Hawaii — and I wanted to bring it here because it’s something you can use in real time when you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or stuck in your head.This is about what I call planting yourself in the moment.So many of us live in our thoughts — spinning, analyzing, anticipating — and it p
304. 50 Years in This Nervous System: 10 More Lessons for Sensitive Women (Boundaries, Resentment & Choosing Yourself)
In episode 302, I shared the first 10 lessons I’ve learned from living 50 years with a sensitive nervous system.Today we’re continuing with the next 10.These lessons are about something I think many sensitive women struggle with: emotional adulthood.Many of us are technically adults, but we’re still letting the hurt version of us, the teenage version of us, or the people-pleasing version of us lea
303. The Real Reason Adult Friendships Feel So Hard
Many women say they want deeper friendships. They want their people — the women they can laugh with, text, and go for coffee or brunch with.But there’s a hidden pattern that quietly blocks connection.When we walk into rooms believing that nobody likes us, we become hyper-focused on ourselves — how we’re being perceived, whether we’re awkward, whether we said the wrong thing. And when our attention
302. 50 Years in This Nervous System: 10 Lessons for Sensitive Women
I turned 50 this week.And I’ll be honest — this birthday feels different.There’s awareness.There’s fear.There’s grief.And there’s a level of self-trust I would have begged for in my twenties.In this episode, I’m starting a 5-part series sharing 50 things I know at 50 about being a sensitive woman in 2026 — not just how to survive, but how to thrive.Today, I’m giving you the first 10.These are the
301. The Missing Half of Emotional Wellness: Why Fixing Yourself Isn’t the Answer
If you’ve been trying to “fix” yourself for years… this episode might change everything.So much of the emotional wellness space is focused on one thing:Getting rid of what’s wrong.The anxiety.The stress.The overthinking.The guilt.The burnout.The trauma.And while support matters, here’s what’s missing:You cannot build a thriving life by only trying to eliminate what hurts.In this episode, I’m teach
300. Love Yourself No Matter What (My Most Important Message Yet)
Hey my beautiful friend… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but welcome to Episode 300.When I started this podcast, I had no idea if anyone would listen… or if I’d even keep going. But here we are — and today I want to revisit the most important message I’ve ever shared:Loving yourself no matter what is the key to everything.Because self-love isn’t about bubble baths or positive affirmations.It’s ab
299. Why You Don’t Feel Like You Belong (Even When You’re Included)
Show notes coming soon
298. Big Girls Do Cry
I’m recording this one off the cuff, because it matters.I cry a lot. I cry every day. Sometimes I cry because I’m sad. Sometimes I cry because I’m angry, happy, proud — or because I just need to cry. I’ve always been this way, and if you’re listening to this, you probably are too.In this episode, I talk about why crying isn’t something to fix — and why nothing has gone wrong when tears show up. We
297. How Sensitive Women Can Navigate Emotional Pain Without Losing Themselves
Sensitive women feel deeply — and for many, emotional pain can feel overwhelming, unsafe, or impossible to sit with. There’s often a fear that if you really let yourself feel it, you’ll fall apart and won’t be able to recover.In this episode, I unpack why emotional pain feels so intense for sensitive and neurodivergent women — and why this has nothing to do with being fragile or broken. We explore
296. The Truth About Jealousy (And How It Shows You What You Want)
Jealousy is one of the most misunderstood emotions — and one of the most shamed. Most of us were never taught how to feel jealousy without turning it against ourselves or others.In this episode, I unpack what jealousy actually is, why it hurts so much, and how it can either become a source of unnecessary suffering or a powerful source of self-awareness. We explore the difference between clean jeal
295. Belonging, Rejection & Why You Reject Yourself In Advance
Belonging is one of our most basic human needs — but what if the biggest thing standing in the way of feeling like you belong isn’t other people… it’s you?In this episode, I break down why rejection feels so painful, how micro-rejections accumulate over time, and why so many of us unconsciously reject ourselves before anyone else ever gets the chance to. We explore how rejection is an emotion (not
294. Why January 1st Feels Heavy (And Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work)
If you’re listening to this in January (or any other time of the year) and feeling heavy, flat, emotional, or quietly overwhelmed — this episode is for you.January 1st is supposed to feel hopeful. Fresh. Motivating.But for so many women, it actually brings pressure, comparison, and a deep sense of “I should be feeling better than I am.”In this episode, I’m unpacking why January 1st can feel so dys
293. You Are Not Who You Think You Are: How to Change Your Self-Concept
As the year comes to a close, many of us are taking stock — not just of what we did, but of who we believe we are.In this episode, we’re talking about self-concept: the thoughts and beliefs you hold about yourself, how they were formed, and how they quietly shape your emotions, relationships, and choices — often without you realizing it.So many of the things we believe about ourselves feel like fa
292. Feeling Is Inevitable. Suffering Is Optional.
Feeling is part of being human. Suffering is not.In this episode, Amanda breaks down the crucial difference between feeling emotions and suffering because of them. You’ll hear a raw, honest reflection on what it’s like to try to “hold it all together,” why doing more never actually fixes emotional overwhelm, and how learning to slow down is the real way out of suffering.This ep
291. Why Emotional Burnout Happens (and How to Prevent It)
What most women call overwhelm or anxiety is often something deeper: emotional burnout — the kind that happens when you’ve spent years trying to tolerate your emotions instead of learning how to expand your capacity for them.In today’s episode, I’m sharing a private training from the podcast I create exclusively for my clients. We’re breaking down
Setting Powerful Boundaries Without Fear
The holidays bring everything — family dynamics, overwhelm, expectations, pressure — and underneath it all is the fear of speaking up in a way that feels good. In this episode, we break down what a boundary actually is, why it feels so hard to set one, and how fear and nervous system dysregulation keep you stuck in people-pleasing or emotional shutdown.You’ll learn how to identify f
289. Overthinking Part 3: How to Change the Beliefs That Keep You Stuck
If you’ve spent your whole life trying to “think more positively,” “change your mindset,” or “just stop spiraling,” this episode is going to shift everything for you.Because here’s the truth most sensitive women never get taught:Thoughts are not facts.They never have been.But when your nervous system is dysregulated (Part 1) and your emotions feel too big to hold (Part 2), your brain grabs the eas
288. Overthinking Part 2: You Don’t Have a Thought Problem — You Have an Emotion Problem
If you’ve been trying to “fix” your overthinking by changing your thoughts, but nothing ever seems to stick, here’s the truth:You don’t have a thought problem — you have an emotion problem.When your emotions feel too big, too fast, or too overwhelming for your system, your brain does the only thing it knows how to do: it starts thinking harder. It analyzes, spirals, replays conversations, imagines
287. Overthinking Part 1: Why Your Mind Races (and What’s Actually Causing It)
Overthinking isn’t a flaw — it’s a survival response.If your brain feels like it never shuts off, if you replay conversations, worry about every decision, or try to anticipate every possible problem before it happens — this episode is for you.When your nervous system has been running in survival mode for too long, overthinking becomes your body’s way of trying to keep you safe. But the truth is, i
286. What Experts Get Wrong About Sensitive Women (and How to Become the Expert on You)
What if everything you’ve been told about being “too sensitive” is wrong?In this episode, I share a deeply personal story from my early motherhood — the exhaustion, the misdiagnoses, and the moment I realized that I wasn’t broken… I was sensitive. For years, I tried to “fix” myself, believing that my emotions were the problem. But the truth is, sensitivity isn’t a weakness — it’s a form of wisdom.
285. It's Not Your Fault: Why You're So Hard On Yourself
Did you grow up in a house where everything had to be someone's fault? That type of environment creates a specific kind of wiring in your brain. The spilled glass of water that turns into chaos, the constant need to assign blame, the walking on eggshells - these experiences don't just disappear when you become an adult. They show up as that relentless inner critic, the exhausting need to control e
284. When Your Heart Hurts: A Loving Approach to Navigating Heartache
When your heart feels like it's been shattered into pieces and the pain consumes every moment of your day, you're experiencing something that every human being knows intimately: heartache.In this episode, I'll walk you through my Love Yourself No Matter What method - a three-part process that helps you regulate your nervous system, process the emotion in your body, and decide what to believe about
283. Behind the Gossip: The Truth About Jealousy
Most of us have been taught that jealousy is wrong, and that we should never feel it. But rejecting a normal human emotion only makes it come back louder and more destructive. In this episode, I share my own experience with jealousy and shine a light on the hidden connection between feeling threatened and speaking poorly about others. You'll learn ways to regulate your nervous system, reduce your
282. WHO Before HOW: How Goals Grow You from the Inside Out
Most of us think the point of a goal is to achieve it. But what if the real purpose is who you become along the way? When I laced up my skates, put on a sparkly costume, and stepped onto the ice to perform in front of judges, I thought the goal was the medal. What I learned instead was that the goal was there to help me meet every part of myself—the scared, the brave, and the resilient—a
281. Turning Fear into Fuel: The Self-Love Approach to Big Goals
Goal setting triggers panic for so many of us. The fear of not meeting expectations, the pressure of deadlines, the looming possibility of disappointment - it's enough to make anyone avoid setting goals altogether. But what if the real problem isn't the goal itself, but our relationship with failure along the way?Tune in to hear my four-step process for moving through fear and failure with compass
280. The Secret to Improving Your Relationship (Without Changing Your Partner)
So often we believe that a better relationship depends on our partner changing. But the truth is, the real work starts with you. If you’ve ever felt stuck giving too much, overcompensating, or constantly managing the relationship on your own, this episode is for you. I share practical ways to start building self-love as a standard in your life, how to navigate guilt or frustration when it arises,
279. Why Self-Love Isn’t Fluff - It’s the Key to Healing Old Wounds
Beating yourself up might feel productive, but it's actually keeping you stuck in the same painful patterns. The real work of healing from trauma isn't about fixing all your problems or thinking positive thoughts. It's about developing self-love as a skill—a feeling you can generate in your body that becomes the fuel for different actions.In this episode, I'm sharing why the skill of self-love isn
278. Letting Go of Summer & Leaning Into Fall: How to Flow With Life’s Seasons
Life moves in seasons, just like the world around us. Summer turns to fall, winter melts into spring, and nature shows us how to flow with change. Yet in our own lives, we often fight those shifts—pushing ourselves to stay in “summer mode,” always productive, always busy, always trying to feel amazing.In this episode, I’m sharing how to honor where you are right now and use each season to your adv
277. How to Stop Living with Chronic Disappointment
Do you feel like no matter how hard you try, life just keeps letting you down? Like you’re stuck in a cycle of disappointment that seems impossible to break? If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. But chronic disappointment doesn’t have to be the way you live forever. In this episode, I’m showing you how to shift out of this cycle and finally experience the joy and ful
276. The Healing Power of Grief
As a culture, we don’t know how to grieve. We’re expected to keep it together, stay strong, and move on, even though grief is one of the most universal human experiences. The truth is, when no one models how to grieve, it’s easy to feel lost, broken, or like you’re “doing it wrong.”In this episode, I’m opening up about my own experiences with grief - the loss of my mom, my mother-in-law, and even
275. How to Advocate for Yourself When Others Don’t Understand You
Feeling misunderstood is exhausting. When you’re worried about being too much or too hard to read, it’s easy to slip into performing instead of simply being yourself. And during summer, when social situations ramp up, that pressure to change or fit in can feel even heavier.In this episode, I’m talking about why advocacy feels so hard and why our nervous systems often default to people-pleasing ins
274. Creating Emotional Safety in Your Daily Life
Emotional safety is more than just a buzzword. It’s the foundation for healing and thriving in every area of your life. But for many women, creating emotional safety can feel like an abstract idea. And honestly, it wasn’t until I really started to dig into it as a coach that I understood what it truly meant.In this episode, I break down why emotional safety isn’t about being calm or waiting for ot
Introducing: How to Love Yourself No Matter What
If you’ve ever felt emotionally overwhelmed, mislabeled, or unsupported by traditional systems, this space is for you. I’m Amanda Hess, a trauma-informed life coach, and I’m here to help you reclaim your true identity beyond clinical labels and build radical self-trust.In each episode, I share honest conversations, practical tools, and stories that will help you create emotional safety within your
273. Recognize and Release Internalized Shame
Do you always think that you're the problem? Are you constantly trying to be more perfect? Are you angry at others and don't quite know why? In this episode, I'm exploring how internalized shame shows up in our everyday thoughts and behaviors, often disguised as perfectionism, resentment, or self-criticism. You'll discover practical ways to recognize shame when it arises, understand why it can't b
272. How to Build Radical Self-Trust and Overcome Self-Doubt
Self-trust starts to erode when you’re constantly beating yourself up over past mistakes. But lack of self-trust isn’t a character flaw. It’s conditioning. And the key to building radical self-trust isn't about eliminating negative thoughts or becoming perfect. It’s about learning to hold two truths at once: yes, those conditioned thoughts are loud and familiar, and yes, you can still build trust
271. How to Finally Get Unstuck
You’ve tried it all - podcasts, self-help books, courses. And yet, somehow, you always end up back where you started. The strategies that work for everyone else leave you feeling more broken, more stuck, and wondering what’s wrong with you. But here’s the thing: the problem isn’t your willpower, and it definitely isn’t your motivation. The real issue is that traditional methods don’t address what’
You Don’t Need a Plan — You Need a Strategy (Day 5 of Take Back Your Summer)
You don’t need a rigid routine — you need a framework that supports your sensitivity, your energy, and your capacity.Let’s design a summer that works for you.On today's Take Back Your Summer free, live coaching call, you’ll learn:Why typical planning advice doesn’t work for your brainHow to build flexibility without spiralingA simple strategy to enjoy your summer — on your termsJoin the call happe
270. You're Not Responsible for Everyone's Emotions (Day 4 of Take Back Your Summer)
In this week's episode, I'm addressing something that so many women struggle with quietly: feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions. Whether you grew up as the peacemaker in a volatile home or you've just always been the one who fixes things for everyone, this pattern of emotional enmeshment keeps you stuck in survival mode. You'll discover why trying to regulate everyone else leaves no on
Burn the To-Do List (Day 3 of Take Back Your Summer)
The expectations are relentless — to plan the vacations, hold the emotions, run the household, keep it all “fun.”Let’s burn that list and make a different one.On today's Take Back Your Summer free, live coaching call, you’ll learn:The truth about sensory and emotional burnoutHow masking shows up in your daily to-do listHow to build a summer rhythm that actually supports your energyJoin the call ha
You're Not Lazy — You're in a Freeze (Day 2 of Take Back Your Summer)
You’re not lazy. You’re dysregulated.If you find yourself zoning out, doom scrolling, or avoiding everything — you’re not alone.On today's Take Back Your Summer free, live coaching call, you’ll learn:Why “doing nothing” doesn’t recharge you the way you hopedHow your stress response is hijacking your plansA shame-free way to interrupt the shutdown spiralJoin the call happening TODAY at 2pm Pacific
You’re Not Failing at Summer (Day 1 of Take Back Your Summer)
Everyone else seems fine. So why does this season feel so heavy for you?Let’s talk about why your emotional experience of summer is valid — and why it’s not your fault.On today's Take Back Your Summer free, live coaching call, you’ll learn:How your nervous system experiences “freedom” as chaosWhy you feel like you’re failing at something everyone else enjoysWhat’s actually going on when your body
269. How to Create a Summer That Doesn’t Burn You Out
Summer can be a lot when you're sensitive, neurodivergent, or simply wired to experience the world deeply. The lack of routine, constant sensory input, and the pressure to “be fun” can quickly turn what should be a carefree season into a full-blown performance.But here’s the truth: having a burnout-free summer isn't about changing your mindset or pushing through. What you really need is a softer s
268. Why You Keep Checking Out (& How to Come Back In)
When you find yourself scrolling through your phone instead of spending time with family, or lying in bed when it's beautiful outside, your body has figured out something you haven't yet. You are stressed out, checked out, and shut down. In this episode, I explore why so many women feel stuck in shutdown mode, especially during summer when expectations are high and routines are out the window. I b
267. When Summer Feels Like Too Much
Summer arrives with the promise of freedom and relaxation, yet for many of us, it delivers the exact opposite - a whirlwind of overstimulation, unpredictable schedules, and mounting pressure to create perfect memories. If your experience of summer is never as relaxing as you wish it would be, listen in this week. I share three essential insights for creating a summer that actually works for y
266. Why Boundaries are Hard but Necessary for Deep Feelers
Setting boundaries can feel like a radical and scary act, especially if you've spent years people-pleasing. The discomfort that comes with saying no often feels worse than the exhaustion of constantly saying yes. For those who feel deeply and strongly, this challenge becomes even more complex because you've likely learned to take responsibility for other people's comfort, feelings, and reactions.I
265. You’re Not Broken: Breaking Free from Shame and Misdiagnosis
Have you ever been told you’re “too much,” “too sensitive,” or simply “not normal”? Those labels can feel like a life sentence - but they’re nothing more than stories you’ve been handed. Today, I dismantle the idea that you must hunt down and “fix” what’s wrong with you; instead, I re-frame intense emotions and unique wiring as invitations to understand yourself on a deeper level.I also
264. How to Calm Down When You're Emotionally Overwhelmed
Emotional overwhelm can feel like a full-body shutdown - racing thoughts, physical tension, and an overwhelming urge to escape. When these intense feelings take over, it's not because we're broken or dramatic. Our nervous system is simply doing its job, without proper context for the modern world.As a coach, I see clients trapped in stress responses they can't seem to escape from. W
263. Why Feeling “Too Much and Not Enough” Is Actually Your Superpower
One extremely common experience among sensitive women is the exhausting push-pull of feeling simultaneously being "too much" and "not enough." Through my own journey and experiences coaching others, I've witnessed how this internal conflict affects our relationships, self-worth, and ability to show up authentically. In this episode, I share my perspective on why intensity and emotional depth
Introducing: How to Love Yourself No Matter What
Are you an emotionally intense woman who’s ever felt like you’re just too much—or maybe not enough? On this podcast, I help you break free from shame, overwhelm, and the pressure to fit into someone else’s boxes. I’m Amanda Hess, trauma-informed life coach, and each week we dive into building self-trust, setting authentic boundaries, and embracing who you truly are beyond labels. It’s time to cre
262. Why Being Easygoing Doesn't Make You a Better Person
"I feel guilty after speaking up for myself." "They probably think I'm a b*tch." "I should have said that nicer." Do these thoughts sound familiar to you? The guilt you feel after stating what you want isn't random or your fault - it's systematic conditioning. In this episode, I'm breaking down why we feel this pressure to be "easygoing," where the guilt comes from when we advocate for o
261. Saying No Without Guilt: Unlearning the Good Girl Narrative
Are you constantly smiling and nodding when you really want to scream "No!"? I've been there, too. That feeling of saying yes when your body and mind are begging you to decline is a symptom of something deeper – the good girl narrative that's been ingrained in us since childhood. The cost of living as a good girl is enormous. We chase external validation, overfunction in every area of life, a
260. How to Stop Feeling Responsible for Everyone: A Guide for the Exhausted ‘Strong One
Welcome to the How to Love Yourself No Matter What podcast with Amanda Hess. In this episode, Amanda dives deep into a topic so many of us struggle with: feeling responsible for everyone around us. If you’re the person everyone relies on, the peacekeeper holding it all together, or someone who’s secretly exhausted but scared to stop, this episode is for you.Drawing from her personal experiences an
259. Understanding and Healing From Rejection Sensitivity
If you’ve ever felt like you just can’t handle rejection, this episode is for you. Amanda Hess dives deep into rejection sensitivity—what it is, where it comes from, and how it affects the way we think and feel, especially for those who are neurodivergent or have experienced trauma.Key Takeaways:What is rejection sensitivity?Amanda discusses how rejection sensitivity is the tendency to feel real o
258. Chasing Calm? Start with Emotional Safety Instead
We say we want peace, but what we really need is emotional safety—the ability to be with ourselves, feel any emotion, and know we can handle it.This 18-minute episode dives into a truth that’s often overlooked in the self-help world. Peace isn’t about having a quiet life—it’s about having a strong inner world.🧠 Timestamps & Key Takeaways:00:00 – 01:45📍 Why “peace” isn’t what you think it isAma
257. Burnout, Rewritten: What’s Really Draining You—and a Kinder Way Back
Burnout isn’t just being tired or overwhelmed—it’s what happens when your nervous system is totally tapped out. This episode is a wake-up call and a reframe. I break down what burnout really is, what it’s not, and how to start healing without adding more pressure to your already packed plate.[00:00–01:25]📍 Let's reframe burnoutI kick things off by calling out the biggest misunderstanding about bur
256. Put Yourself First—Guilt-Free (Conversation with LT Dixon)
This episode is more than a conversation—it’s a reclamation.LT Dixon joins me to share a deeply personal, powerful journey of healing, self-discovery, and radical self-love. From surviving abuse to raising five kids as a single mom, LT didn't just rebuild her life—she reinvented her identity.Together, we explore what it actually means to put yourself first without guilt, why so many women feel res
255. Feeling Invisible? Healing the Hurt of Not Being Heard
Ever feel like nobody truly sees you or hears you—like you’re speaking, but it’s not landing? In this episode, I’m sharing a personal story that cracked this experience wide open for me. If you’re neurodivergent, highly sensitive, or just someone who’s been labeled as “too much,” this is going to resonate deeply. We’ll explore what it actually means to feel unseen and unheard, why this is such a c
254. When Hope Feels Scary: Gentle Steps to Trusting It Again
Episode Summary:Do you ever find yourself holding back from feeling hope—because deep down, you're afraid of being disappointed, let down, or even embarrassed? You're not alone. In this episode, we explore how learning to build emotional capacity for hope is essential to living a life that feels meaningful, connected, and aligned with who you really are.You'll learn why hope isn't just a feel-good
253. Making Peace with the Past Version of You
In this episode, I thoughtfully explore the importance of making peace with our past selves as a key element of self-love and personal growth. Through my own personal experiences and insights, I share how embracing compassion toward past versions of ourselves, rather than judging or rejecting them, allows for genuine healing and deeper self-understanding. Recognizing our past selves as doing their
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