How To Deal
How To Deal is a podcast for parents aiming to raise emotionally healthy children. Hosted by therapist and bestselling author Eli Harwood, also known as The Attachment Nerd, it offers real stories, expert advice, and practical tools for building stronger relationships with kids and oneself.
Episodes
#39 Nerd Notes | Victim Mentality vs. Real Harm
In this solo episode, Eli dives into one of the most nuanced — and most needed — conversations in the world of relational health: the difference between genuinely being victimized and holding a victim mentality. With warmth and clarity, Eli walks you through the key markers of each, why abusive people often claim victim status, and why asking this question of yourself is actually a sign of health,
#38 How to Deal with Raising Conscious Sons and Daughters in an Anxious and Chaotic World | With Dr. Shefali Tsabary
Dr. Shefali Tsabary, Columbia-trained clinical psychologist and multiple NYT bestselling author, joins Eli to discuss her groundbreaking new companion books: Raising Conscious Sons and Raising Conscious Daughters. Together they unpack the unique, gender-specific wounds our children carry — and what conscious parents can do to protect and restore their children's authentic selves.Key TakeawaysBoys
#37 How to Feel Worthy | With Dr. Marisa G. Franco
What if feeling unworthy isn't a flaw — it's a memory? In this deeply moving episode, Eli sits down with NYT bestselling psychologist Dr. Marisa G. Franco to unpack the science of self-worth: where it comes from, why it gets stuck, and how you can actually change it. From memory reconsolidation and inner child healing to attunement, identity, and the power of community, this conversation is a must
#36 How to Deal with The Mental Load | With Eve Rodsky
Eli sits down with Eve Rodsky — Harvard-trained lawyer, NYT bestselling author, and founder of the Fair Play movement — to dig into the invisible crisis hiding in most partnerships: the unequal mental load. From the blueberries text that changed everything to a card system now translated into 27 languages, Eve shares why fairness in the home isn't just a relationship issue — it's a systemic one. T
#35 How to Deal with Rejection Sensitivity | With Dr. Sasha Hamdin
Eli sits down with board-certified psychiatrist and ADHD specialist Dr. Sasha Hamdani to unpack one of the most misunderstood emotional experiences: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). Together they explore the neuroscience behind why some of us feel rejection so intensely — and why that sensitivity might actually be a gift. Dr. Hamdani also shares personal stories and practical tools from her up
#34 Teaching Kids Self-Trust in a Manipulative World | With Dr Naaila Chagani
In this episode, Eli sits down with Dr. Naaila Chagani (Hudani), a child development specialist with a PhD from Tufts University, to explore the concept of "heart safety" — teaching children that their inner emotional world belongs to them and cannot be rearranged by someone else.Drawing from both personal lived experience as a bonus mom and rigorous research, Dr. Naaila shares a compassionate, nu
#33 Nerd Notes | Co-Regulating with Our Neurodivergent Children
In this solo episode, Eli Harwood (the Attachment Nerd) unpacks one of the most misunderstood intersections in modern parenting: raising a neurodivergent child while trying to break generational cycles. With personal stories from parenting her own AuDHD daughter, Eli walks through the full sensory landscape — including the three "hidden" senses — and explains how to adapt secure attachment practic
#32 How to Deal with a Spicy One | With Mary Van Geffen
Episode SummaryEli sits down with international parenting coach and author Mary Van Geffen to talk about raising "spicy ones" — those intense, strong-willed, wonderfully complex children who need more than most parenting books can offer. Together they unpack what it means to be the parent of a spicy child, how our own childhood wounds get triggered by these kids, and what it actually looks like in
#31 How To Use Play To Set Limits and Boundaries | With Dr. Kim Van Dusen
How to Deal with Parenting Through Play | Dr. Kim Van DusenEpisode SummaryWhat if the secret to fewer tantrums, less mealtime drama, and a deeper connection with your kids wasn't stricter rules — but more play? In this episode, Eli sits down with Dr. Kim Van Dusen, PsyD, licensed marriage and family therapist and registered play therapist known as The Parentologist, to talk about how to weave play
#30 How to Deal with Feeling | With Dr. Marc Brackett
Episode SummaryEli Harwood sits down with Dr. Marc Brackett — founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and bestselling author — to tackle one of modern parenting's biggest challenges: how do we raise emotionally intelligent kids when most of us never received an emotion education ourselves? Marc shares the science behind his RULER framework, why "there is no such thing as a
#29 How to Deal When Your Kids Are at Odds with Each Other | With Dr. Laura Markham
Episode SummaryIn this deeply personal and research-backed conversation, host Eli Harwood sits down with Dr. Laura Markham — clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and founder of PeacefulParentHappyKids.com — to tackle one of the most exhausting realities of family life: sibling conflict. Together they explore what the research actually says about why siblings fight, what parents can do about
#28 How to Be Honest about Motherhood | With Libby Ward
Episode SummaryEli sits down with Libby Ward — writer, speaker, and author of Honest Motherhood: On Losing My Mind and Finding Myself — for a deeply honest conversation about what it costs mothers when they sacrifice themselves completely. Together they explore the myth of selfless motherhood, the reality of generational trauma, and why radical honesty — with yourself first — is where real change
#27 Navigating Marriage in the Parenting Years | With Eli Weinstein
Episode SummaryTherapist, author, and host of The Dude Therapist podcast Eli Weinstein, LCSW joins the show to talk about one of the hardest (and least talked about) relationship challenges: staying connected to your partner while you're deep in the trenches of parenthood. Eli brings his signature no-BS warmth and humor to share real, actionable tools — including the "First On Scene" rule, the Hud
#26 How to Deal with Sex Talks | With Kimberly Wolf
Episode SummaryIn this episode, Eli sits down with sex educator and Harvard-trained expert Kimberly Wolf to tackle one of the most anxiety-producing topics in parenting: talking to your kids about sex, bodies, and healthy relationships. Kimberly brings a practical, shame-free, and deeply reassuring framework for parents at every stage — from toddlers to teens — with one clear message: you don't ha
#25 How to Deal with Feeling Disconnected from Your Sweetheart | With Morgan Burch
Episode SummaryRelationship coach Morgan Burch joins Eli to unpack one of the most common — and most painful — dynamics in modern partnerships: the moment you need your partner most is exactly when neither of you has anything left to give. Together, they explore the "hero child" wound, why co-regulation matters more than date nights, and practical tools like the Mirror Game and the DIC Talk that c
#24 How to Deal with Raising Secure Digital Citizens | With Jessical Joelle Alexander
Episode SummaryIn this episode, Eli sits down with Danish parenting expert and bestselling author Jessica Joelle Alexander to tackle one of the most pressing questions facing parents today: how do we raise kids who are safe, healthy, and confident in the digital world — without resorting to fear, shame, or oversimplification? Jessica shares the Danish philosophy behind her work, the story of how s
#23 Wired for Connection — 50 Years of Attachment Research with Dr. Alan Sroufe
Episode SummaryIn this episode, host Eli Harwood sits down with Dr. L. Alan Sroufe — Professor Emeritus at the University of Minnesota and lead researcher of the landmark Minnesota Longitudinal Study of Risk and Adaptation — to unpack over 50 years of groundbreaking research on how early relationships shape who we become. From the origins of secure attachment to the surprising durability of worldv
#22 The Art and Science of Playful Parenting | With Mia Wisinski
Episode SummaryWhat if the secret to surviving modern parenting chaos was something you were already born knowing how to do — play? In this warm, funny, and genuinely useful conversation, Eli sits down with Mia Wisinski, founder of Playful Heart Parenting, to explore how playfulness isn't just a "nice to have" — it's one of the most powerful tools we have for co-regulating our kids, building secur
#21 How to Deal with Trauma Triggers as a Parent | Nerd Notes with Eli
Episode SummaryIn this solo episode, Eli Harwood (The Attachment Nerd) takes a compassionate dive into trauma — what it actually is, how it gets lodged in our bodies, and most importantly, how we begin to move through it. Eli breaks down the difference between a true trauma trigger and a new event, shares a deeply personal parenting story about her own trauma response, and offers practical, access
#20 How to Deal with Sleep Stuff | With Rachael Shepard-Ohta from Hey, Sleepy Baby
Episode SummaryIn this episode, Eli Harwood sits down with Rachael Shepard-Ohta — founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby and host of the No One Told Us podcast — for an honest, research-grounded, and deeply human conversation about infant and toddler sleep. Together, they dismantle the sleep training culture war, explore what science actually tells us about infant sleep variability, and offer practical, comp
#19 How to Deal with Parental Stress (Scripts + Strategies) | Nerd Notes with Eli
Episode SummaryStress is universal — but how we respond to it isn't. In this solo episode, Eli Harwood (the Attachment Nerd) breaks down what stress actually is, why your personal history shapes your stress response, and how to manage it in a way that protects both your well-being and your relationship with your kids. From completing the stress cycle to talking to your children about fight-or-flig
#18 Navigating the Complex Terrain of Foster Parenting | With Laura Foster Partner
Episode SummaryIn this episode, Eli sits down with Laura, the Foster Parent Partner — author, content creator, and foster care advocate with nearly 300K followers — to have an honest, compassionate conversation about the realities of foster parenting. They explore what it truly means to show up for kids from hard places, how foster parents can survive a broken system, and why even one safe home ca
#17 How to Deal with Talking to Your Kids About Porn | Nerd Notes with Eli
How to Deal with Talking to Your Kids About PornographyEpisode SummaryAfter a disturbing news story surfaced exposing widespread abuse on a major pornography platform, Eli Harwood (the Attachment Nerd) is stepping up with a calm, practical guide for parents. In this solo episode, Eli walks you through exactly how to have an honest, age-appropriate, shame-free conversation with your kids about porn
#16 How To Deal With the Adolescent Rollercoaster | With Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett
How to Deal with Raising Tweens & Teens with Dr. Cara Natterson & Vanessa Kroll BennettEpisode SummaryIf you're a parent staring down the tunnel of adolescence and feeling the dread building — this episode is your permission slip to exhale. Eli sits down with Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett of Less Awkward for a warm, wildly informative, and surprisingly funny conversation abo
#15 How to Teach Kids Emotion Regulation | With Jon Fogel
Episode SummaryIn this warm and moving episode, Eli sits down with Jon Fogel — parenting educator, pastor, and author of Punishment-Free Parenting — to talk about his brand-new children's picture book, Set My Feelings Free, co-authored and illustrated by his wife Jess Fogel. Jon unpacks the surprising science behind Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, why music is the key to teaching kids emotional regulati
#14 How To Deal With Your Child’s Sensory Needs | With Tia Gamelin
Episode SummaryIn this episode, Eli sits down with Tia Gamelin — neurodiversity-affirming pediatric occupational therapist, ADHD coach, and mother of four — to explore the hidden sensory world underneath your child's "difficult" behavior. Together they unpack why behavior is always communication, why there are actually eight senses (not five), and how understanding your child's sensory profile can
#13 How To Make a Parenting U-Turn | With Wendy Synder
Episode SummaryIf you've ever whispered to yourself, "Is it too late? Have I already done too much damage?" — this episode is for you. Eli sits down with Wendy Snyder, founder of Fresh Start Family and author of the brand-new book Fresh Start Your Family, to talk about the most hopeful truth in parenting: it is never too late to start over. Wendy shares her own raw journey from a reactive, overwhe
#12 How To Use Music and Rhythm To Regulate Ourselves and Our Kids | With Kira Wiley
Episode SummaryDid you know humming can literally lower your heart rate in the middle of a parenting meltdown? In this episode, Eli is joined by bestselling children's music artist and mindfulness expert Kira Willey to unpack the science of why rhythm is one of the most powerful regulation tools available to parents and kids — and how to start using it today.From butterfly taps to transition songs
#11 How To Deal With Boredom | With Lizzie Assa
How to Deal with Kids Who Say "I'm Bored" — with Lizzie AssaEpisode SummaryParenting coach and author Lizzie Assa joins Eli to unpack why modern parents have accidentally taken over their children's play — and how to give it back. From reframing boredom as a bid for connection, to setting up "play pockets" around your home, this episode is a practical, permission-giving guide to raising kids who c
#10 How To Be a Secure Parent in the Midst of a Crisis
Episode SummaryIn this powerful solo episode, Eli Harwood gets real about one of the hardest parenting challenges there is: how do you help your child feel safe and secure when you don't feel safe yourself? Drawing from a deeply personal experience — her six-year-old daughter's unexpected ICU admission — Eli walks through the core principles of attachment-based parenting under pressure. Whether yo
#9 How to Deal with Clutter & Be a More Present Parent | With Katy Wells
How to Deal with Clutter (ft. Katy Joy Wells)Episode SummaryFeeling overwhelmed by your home — and how it's affecting your ability to show up for your kids? In this episode, Eli welcomes holistic decluttering expert and author Katy Joy Wells to explore the surprising connection between a cluttered home and your capacity to be a present, secure parent. Katy breaks down the four types of clutter, ex
#8 How To Prepare Your Kids for a World Full of Cults | With NXIVM Whistleblowers Sarah & Nippy
How to Prepare Your Kids for a World Full of CultsEpisode SummaryIn this powerful episode, host Eli welcomes NXIVM whistleblowers and A Little Bit Culty podcast hosts Sarah Edmondson and Anthony "Nippy" Ames to talk about what cultic abuse actually looks like — and more importantly, what parents can do to help protect their children from it. Together, they explore the psychology of manipulation, t
#7 How to Teach Young Kids About Body Safety & Consent | With Jayneen Sanders
How to Deal with Teaching Kids Body Safety & Consent | Jayneen SandersEpisode SummaryIn this deeply important conversation, Eli sits down with internationally acclaimed children's book author and publisher Jayneen Sanders to explore how parents can teach body safety, consent, and boundaries to children of all ages — from infancy through the teen years. Together they discuss why body autonomy i
#6 How to Deal with Our Highly Sensitive Kids | With Kristin Gallant, co-founder of Big Little Feelings
How to Deal with Raising a Highly Sensitive or Neurodivergent KidEpisode SummaryEli sits down with Kristin Gallant, co-founder of Big Little Feelings, to dig into one of the most misunderstood parenting challenges: raising a child who feels everything — deeply, loudly, and fully. Together they unpack what it really means to have a "big feeler" in your home, why the goal was never to make sensitive
#5 How to Deal with Mom Guilt | With Jessica Tomich Sorci
Jessica Tomich Sorci, LMFT and creator of the Mom Parts Method, shares insights on transforming mom guilt and shame using Internal Family Systems therapy. She reveals why these painful feelings aren't signs of failure, but actually pathways to healing both ourselves and our mothering.Key TakeawaysGuilt has purpose: It's a reminder when we've acted outside our values and creates opportunity for rep
#4 How to Deal with Safety Without Scaring Your Kids | With Dannah Eve,
In this powerful conversation, safety expert Dannah Eve, known as The Street Smart Blonde with over 4 million followers, combines her academic knowledge with street smarts to deliver life-saving insights. We explore practical strategies for keeping our families safe without living in constant fear.## Key Takeaways- **Live aware, not in fear** - Dannah's motto emphasizes empowerment over paranoia-
#3 How to Deal With Bias as Parents | Destini Ann Davis
We all have biases. Every single one of us.They're the mental shortcuts our brains built when we were young—and most of us never thought to question them. But what happens when your child starts forming their own identity, and it challenges everything you thought you believed?In this episode, Eli sits down with Destini Ann Davis—bestselling author of Very Intentional Parenting, certified parenting
#2 How To Deal With Big Kids and Bigger Feelings | with Alyssa Campbell
Your kid finally learned to regulate their emotions... and then they turned 8 and it all fell apart. Sound familiar?In this episode, Eli sits down with Alyssa Campbell—co-author of the New York Times bestseller Tiny Humans, Big Feelings and her new book Big Kids, Bigger Feelings—to unpack why the pre-teen years hit so differently (and why your biases might be making it worse).They dive into:Why th
#1 How to Deal with Parenting When You’re Trying to Break Cycles (with My Mom, Babs Slaton)
What would you tell your younger mom self?In this deeply personal first episode, Eli sits down with **Babs Slaton, MA, LPC**—fellow therapist, colleague at the PASS Center, and the original cycle breaker in Eli's family. Babs was the first person in their family system to look around at the dysfunction and say, "This feels insecure. We need to figure something out."Babs shares the five things she
Guiding Young Hearts: Helping Children Through Loss
In this insightful talk, Eli explores the multifaceted concept of loss from a child's perspective, providing parents and caregivers with a comprehensive framework to understand and aid children during these challenging times. From the little losses to the big ones, discover strategies and insights to navigate these poignant moments in a child's life.
Mastering Your Calm: A Parents Guide to Co-Regulation
In this episode, we'll delve into calming yourself when a loved one is upset, exploring the parent-child dynamic of co-regulation and debunking misconceptions about calmness.For full episode please become a member of the Nerd Herd. Details can be found at www.attachmentnerd.com
How to Repair With Your Child When You Are the One Who Messed Up
In this episode, we dive deep into a very personal, yet universal, parenting experience. Our host shares her journey of miscommunication and repair with her son, revealing the raw and tender dynamics of the parent-child relationship.We discuss how easily we can misread situations, and how a moment of jest can turn into a moment of distress. But more importantly, we explore the aftermath: the proce
Taming Tiny Tempers: Helping Kids Manage Anger
Dive into this episode as we explore effective strategies for co-regulating and guiding children through their emotional journey. Discover how empathy and understanding can foster a nurturing environment that supports emotional growth, equipping kids with the tools they need to express and manage their anger in healthy ways. Stressed by parenting struggles? I get it. That's why I created Attachmen
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