
Unmasking the Abuser - The Podcast
This series exposes the specific moves used by abusers to lure in and trap their partners in toxic relationships. It teaches how to recognize abusers' ploys and tricks from the earliest stages of a new relationship, along with crucial knowledge to break free and stay safe. The podcast is based on workshops and seminars by Dr. Dina McMillan, who has been offering this program since 2007. The information is appropriate for ages 13 and above.
Episodes
Episode 51 - Setting Yourself Up for Trouble?
Abusers are master manipulators, wielding cunning tactics to ensnare their prey -but what makes you a target? In this gripping episode of Unmasking the Abuser, I peel back the curtain on the hidden beliefs and behaviors that leave you vulnerable to predators, no matter how much you know about their schemes. From subtle habits to deeply held convictions, discover the surprising ways you might be un
Episode 50: Your Superpower Cheat-Sheet!
Dive into the riveting world of Unmasking the Abuser with our milestone 50th episode! Now in its electrifying 5th season, this podcast, hosted by renowned social psychologist Dr. Dina McMillan, is your ultimate weapon for outsmarting manipulators and abusers. Dr. McMillan masterfully distills complex graduate-level social psychology into a powerful, concise cheat sheet, blending fresh insights wit
Episode 49 - Does Being Woke Make You Vulnerable to Abusers?
For years, I’ve seen a gap in understanding manipulation, hesitant to address it until now. Compassionate, trusting people are preyed upon — not just by romantic Abusers, but also by some social and political movements. These groups mirror the worst Abusers: demanding blind loyalty, erasing boundaries, and punishing dissent or even questions with brutal ferocity. Some are able to hide in plain sig
Episode 48 - Key Components of Coercive Control Part 1
Coercive control has been a hot topic in recent years, with some jurisdictions even making it illegal. Lawmakers recognize the serious risks victims face - even without victims being subjected to frequent bouts of physical violence.But what exactly is coercive control? How does it take hold in a relationship, and why do victims often accept it without realizing the danger? Are they willing partici
Episode 47 - Too Clever to Fool!
We all like to think we're too smart to fall for the same mistakes twice. But the truth is, some devious manipulation tactics can slip past our defenses again and again -especially if we don't recognize them, if we're distracted, or if we believe our past experiences make us immune.In this eye-opening episode of Unmasking the Abuser, we dive deep into the most effective manipulation
Episode 46 - Safely Navigating the Holidays with Strength and Sanity
The holiday season often brings joy, smiles, and shared meals, but for those in toxic relationships, it can also mean stress, conflict, and emotional strain. In this episode of Unmasking the Abuser, we go beyond offering sympathy to provide practical, actionable advice for managing an abusive partner or family member during the festive season.Staying true to the solution-focused approach you’ve co
Episode 45 - Setting You Up for Manipulation Part 1
Ever feel like your decisions were made for you before you even knew it? It’s not magic—it's a set of cunning maneuvers social psychologist Robert Cialdini calls "Pre-Suasion". In this episode, we dive into the clever, subtle tactics that influence how we make choices long before a pitch is even made. From strategic questions to the power of background music, we examine the hidden m
Episode 44: Circles of Intimacy - the Key to Deciphering Your Relationship Health
Ever wonder just how much you care for the people in your life - or how much they truly care for you? Discover a straightforward approach to finding out, no awkward conversations or confrontations required. Join us for an eye-opening episode and strengthen the bonds that matter most. The Circles of Intimacy is a simple tool that allows you to gauge the strength of your feelings for the people in y
Episode 43 - Key Secret Uses of Fear
Fear is a powerful tool of manipulation. But equally potent is the art of calming those fears to gain control — a tactic Abusers and Manipulators know all too well. In this episode of Unmasking the Abuser, we’ll expose how abusers exploit the power of reassurance, distraction, and false security to make you ignore genuine threats.From minimizing risks to offering protection, these strategies are s
Episode 42 - Misusing the power of FEAR
In this crucial episode, Dr. Dina McMillan dives into one of the most powerful weapons in a manipulator’s toolkit—fear. Fear is a natural, protective instinct that helps keep us safe. But once manipulators learn what makes your heart race and your stomach drop, they can exploit it to control you. In this episode, Dr. McMillan explains the different types of fear and the main strategies employed b
Episode 41 - The Lasting Damage from the Covid Era
In this compelling episode of Unmasking the Abuser, we explore an event that touched everyone’s lives—the Covid pandemic. More than just the fear of the virus itself, we dive into the emotional and social rifts caused by differing responses to mandates and directives. How has the Covid era shaped our world today? Can the wounds it opened be healed? And how prepared are we for the next potential cr
Episode 40 - Missed Info about the First Tactics on The List
In this episode, we dive into one of the most overlooked but crucial phases of manipulation: Testing and Training. While tactics like Love Bombing and Gaslighting grab headlines, these initial maneuvers — Testing and Training — lay the groundwork for all the other manipulative strategies. Without successfully testing new targets and then training them to comply, Abusers and Manipulators wouldn&apo
Episode 39 - Finishing the eBook: Key Tactics of Abusers Defined
In this vital episode, we wrap up the eBook, Brief Overview of Abusers' Strategies and Tactics, covering Chapter 7: "Tactics of Abusers," Chapter 8: "Honorable Mention Tactics," and the concluding section.Just like the eBook itself—available for only $10 at www.drdinamcmillan.com—this episode gives you the essential tools to recognize and counter abusers' most insidio
Episode 38 - Establishing the Groundwork
In this crucial episode, we delve further into the explosive insights unveiled in my latest eBook, "Brief Overview of Abusers' Strategies and Tactics."We explore chapters four through six, uncovering not just the selection process —how Abusers pinpoint their romantic victims based on specific traits — but also the deceptions, strategies, and facades they employ to conceal their true
Episode 37: Discussing the New Book - Brief Overview of Abusers' Strategies
I put a lot of thought into creating my eBook, Brief Overview of Abusers' Strategies and Tactics. I'm excited to dive into its key insights in this episode and the next.Research shows that the more often you engage with information across different formats, the better you retain it — especially when you pair it with a visual reference. This is exactly why I’m breaking down the eBook here
Episode 36 - Making Yourself Manipulation-Proof
This is another key episode with a slightly different twist. Most of the time we discuss ways to recognize efforts to take advantage of you, using slick words and clever moves to influence, persuade and exploit.This time we stand back and discuss three core factors that can improve your shield against these devious efforts. These simple moves can make it less likely any tactics of persuasion will
Episode 35 - The First 30 Days
Some of the most crucial information about abusive relationships is how they start. What are they like at the very beginning? Most victims and survivors don't recognize the manipulation that happened at the start. That's why this can be a key to preventing new victims in the future.This episode provides a general overview of the manipulative moves and maneuvers that are used most often -
Episode 34 - Oops! I Did It Again! The Valentine's Day Chapter
Important Valentine's Day Episode - no roses required.Most of our episodes are about choosing a better romantic partner. This episode is all about YOU, whether you're female or male, in a relationship or single. It guides you as you identify any beliefs or behaviors that are holding you back, causing you or your partner pain. It helps expose the mistakes you repeat - no matter how much
Episode 33: I Want You Back!
This is one of the most important Episodes we've done. Inspired by a request from a podcast audience member, this Episode explores the tricks and maneuvers used to entice a mistreated partner to return to an abusive relationship.How is it done? What does it take for someone who's fed up and perhaps deeply afraid to dive back into a highly volatile and even dangerous situation? What strin
Episode 32: Surviving Family Gatherings - A Holiday Special
This short podcast needs to be bookmarked and saved somewhere convenient. It contains key tips for emotional survival during the holiday season - or any time your family gets together. If you have a volatile partner, a difficult relative, a troublesome partner of a relative, don't go into their lair without protecting yourself. That's what this Episode is all about.All always, the crucia
Episode 31: Exposing a Secret Danger
This is still the only podcast series that exposes the specific tactics used by Abusers to lure in and trap romantic partners. It offers rare insight into manipulation that's relevant everywhere in your life, not only in romance.But have you ever wondered if we've missed something - another risk factor that could be significant?In this explosive episode, we discuss a crucial danger that&
Episode 30 - An Exciting Journey through a Lived Experience with A. Garcia
I'm always learning. This episode is an incredible shared experience with A. Garcia, a woman who's experienced severe abuse and violence. She decided to use what happened to her as a platform to help others. The interview was via Zoom, not in a studio, but I promise you'll get so caught up you won't mind.Please listen as A. discusses what she endured, and how she is a big prop
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 29 - Crucial Info about Change
In the last Episode we looked at the efforts made to help Abusers to change. Batterers' Intervention Expert Kevin Tarrance from the Department of Children and Families in Florida shared his insights. He offered the various stages he believes Abusers have to traverse in order to fundamentally alter their expectations and behaviors in their intimate relationships. In this Episode we look at cha
Episode 28 - About Abusers Examining Change PART 1
This is an exciting episode, and not only because I had to quickly learn how to use a virtual interview on Zoom as a podcast episode. Whether or not Abusers can change is the #1 question I'm asked by those who've been involved with these individuals. Yes and no. That's the answer and why it takes two episodes to discuss it.I interviewed my first guest, Kevin (Michael) Tarrance, an
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 27: Crucial Beginnings
This is a must-listen Episode. I discuss why my book, But He Says He Loves Me, is still essential knowledge for anyone wanting to quickly and clearly spot the signs of an abusive relationship. I've just finished production for the audio version of the book - out soon - and offer some exciting previews for my listeners.The book, But He Says He Loves Me, was written in two voices: myself as a d
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 26 Special Holiday Edition!
The holidays are here! Well, if you count family birthdays, reunions and other special events, the holidays are always here. How do you get through with your sanity intact? How can you still grab joy even if some family members insist on being difficult? Is it even possible?This special holiday edition is filled with tips on how to handle difficult people and situations during family get-togethers
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 25 - Broad Brush Strokes
If you only listen to one Episode of this series, this podcast Episode is it. We cover the basics of the entire abuse prevention program: Selection, Main Tactics and Honorable Mentions. All of Abusers' secret and most effective tactics laid bare for you to examine.The insights here offer a powerful review session for regular listeners and can bring new listeners up to speed.In addition, the
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 24 - Tricks of the Trade
We've discussed Abusers' tactics at length. I thought it would also be useful to cover some of their most common tricks - smaller moves that may be part of a bigger tactic. The 15 most common tricks are included in this Episode.These tricks are sinister, effective, and can cause a lot of trouble. That's the bad news. The good news is these moves are often easy to spot. They'r
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 23 - Protecting Your New Superpower
With previous Episodes you've done a lot of work to develop a new superpower, a set of valuable skills that help you identify Abusers early, to spot the tactics of manipulation, coercion and unfair persuasion in romantic and non-romantic settings.In this Episode we talk about how to protect your new knowledge, how to shield yourself from influences that would try to prevent you from using wha
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 22 - The Key to Resilience, Part 2
As promised, this is the crucial second Episode on Resilience, filled with crucial insights and key tips to start building this central core life skill right away. No life is without pain, trouble, disappointment, regret. Resilience is the ability to thoughtfully regain your strength and determination after facing situations of uncertainty, loss, failure, crises or major disruption to your life. Y
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 21: Resilience Part 1
Resilience is such an important topic, yet it gets far too little attention. It's often included in expensive leadership courses, but what about everyone else? What about our need to understand, develop and use this key tool in our ever-changing lives?Resilience is important enough to deserve two episodes. Episode 1 provides the crucial foundation, offering a clear, detailed description of re
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 20 - The Gift of Fear
I think the concept of fear has been misrepresented in recent years. After all, if we don't feel fear we'll take unnecessary or even foolish chances. We'll ignore the instincts that tell us to get away from something or someone dangerous.This series has never tried to dampen all fear. We've honed those instincts, sharpened them with specific knowledge of tactics, and applied th
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 19 - Between the Sheets
Sex is an important part of adult relationships. In this Episode, we look at sexuality and Abusers: what sex means to them, how they treat their partners sexually, the sexual weapons they'll use if the relationship ends. Sex definitely doesn't mean intimacy. It involves manipulation, coercion, humiliation and pain. Sex can also be used as an enticement in the beginning, another importa
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 18 - Secrets and Lies
This Episode covers some crucial information about how secrets can make you vulnerable to manipulation and the way secrets always grow into bigger and more harmful lies.We also chat about ways to get back into the romance game after you've been hurt - some simple but powerful tips to keep you from repeating your past mistakes, or jumping into love with someone who will quickly make you regret
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 17 - Getting to Know You
Are you interested in finding out some simple ways to get to know a new potential romantic partner? Ever wondered what you should ask, or wish you had a a few tips of what to do?That's what this Episode is all about. We start with some insights from Robert Greene's book, "The Art of Seduction", exposing some ploys to be aware of when you're out and about.Then, stepping a l
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 16 - Circles of Intimacy
Have you ever thought about your relationships and wondered how much you really care for the people in your life - or worried about how much they truly care about you? The Circles of Intimacy is a simple set of 2 small tests with a few questions that can help you know. Test 1 helps you establish how you feel about each person in your life. Test 2 gives you important insight into how much the peopl
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 15 - Strengthening Our Shield
I believe it's incredibly valuable to expose the specific tactics used by Abusers to manipulate their targets into relationships. But this knowledge cannot work alone. Potential targets must also recognize where they're vulnerable. They have to explore where their beliefs, values, even fantasies will unwittingly encourage them to ignore the wisdom that can keep them safe. This Episode i
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 14 - Toxic Relationships
This episode continues our important discussion on troublesome relationships that aren't romantic. They can be family, old friends, and even work relationships. Some are simply challenging others would qualify as toxic. How do you know for certain?I'll show you in this Episode. We go through a short number of questions you can ask yourself about your relationship with anyone. Each type
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 13 - Widening the Scope
We've talked a lot about abusive relationships and how to avoid choosing an abusive partner. But what about Abusers you don't choose - your family member, a neighbor, a work colleague, a boss? What about an old friend or a new friend who seems great at first?Episodes 13 and 14 will explore the dynamics and the key warning signs of abusive relationships that aren't romantic. These to
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 12 - Pretty Woman (about Female Abusers)
In this Episode, I fulfill a promise I made to my male listeners and discuss the means and methods used by female abusers when pursuing male targets. Most of their ploys and maneuvers are identical to those used by abusive males - so listening to previous Episodes is a must. But there are some differences due to gender roles and cultural norms that are highlighted here.In the second part of this E
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 11 - Home Alone
It wouldn't be fair to teach you all about the tactics used by Abusers and not also discuss some of the beliefs and behaviors that make women vulnerable. This Episode touches on some of the most common dreams and ideals held by women that can lead them straight into the arms of an Abuser.We also touch on a topic that's painful but necessary - what to do if you're already in a relati
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 10 - Remember!
In this important Episode, I show you easy ways to remember Abusers' tactics. Simple rhymes are used as mnemonic cues (memory triggers) to help listeners learn the short list of tactics they need to know to stay safe. We also look at ways to recognize the signs of someone else - someone you know and care about - being manipulated into a relationship with an Abuser. Your superpower gets strong
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 9: Outrunning the Beast
Learning the tactics of manipulation used by Abusers to entice new partners is fantastic! But is that enough to keep you safe in Real Life if (or when) you're targeted by one? In this Episode we discuss strategies you can use to both accurately identify a potential Abuser and get away as quickly as possible. We even discuss how to keep from mislabeling someone as an Abuser because you defined
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 8 - Locking the Door Behind You
This is an exciting episode where we finish the List of Tactics used by Abusers to lure in new romantic partners. We describe what happens and explain why these moves are so successful in trapping teen girls and women in these highly toxic relationships.These is crucial knowledge if you want to be fully informed about abuse and Abusers, and be able to quickly identify the ploys when they're u
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 7 - Alone Together
In this Episode we explore more frighteningly alluring moves used by Abusers to build strong emotional bonds and gain premature commitment from their target. We discuss how they encourage targets to turn off their awareness and put those rose-colored glasses firmly in place. Also included is a tactic that's rarely acknowledged or discussed that fosters the growth of destructive behaviors and
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 6 - Pain Plus Razzle-Dazzle
In this Episode we show how Abusers use a dynamic group of cunning manipulation tactics to strengthen the emotional bond and further dominate their partner. This Episode demonstrates how an ongoing patter of hurtful comments combined with showy, positive gestures and focused attention from the Abuser can distract a target from realizing how much trouble she's in. The Abuser uses intensity an
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 5 - Pretending to be Prince Charming
In this episode, we look at two tactics that are actually sets, they're behaviors that are like two sides of the coin. One side is all compliments, charm, promises and gifts. The other side consists of comments to make you doubt yourself, your abilities and your ability to realize your goals unless you agree to a relationship with the Abuser. These tactics are clever, effective and incredibly
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 4 - The Tactics Begin!
In this important episode, the cunning tactics used by Abusers begin to be described in detail. In this first of the Tactics podcasts, we describe Testing, Training and Domination as moves to gain control over a new romantic target. We also look at a key group of tactics that aren't quite as common in a set called 'Honorable Mentions'. These include Finding Allies, a Tactic called &
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 3 - Abusers' Strategy
This episode begins the exploration the grooming process that can be so alluring and how Abusers act to increase their likelihood of success. We also examine a few realistic scenarios that help Abusers gain control over their target, and expose some personal factors that can make even smart, savvy women vulnerable to manipulation.This is the podcast series that does so much more than entertain. It
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 2 - How Abusers Select their Targets
In this Episode, we give a detailed description of what is meant by the term 'Abuser', including the estimated proportion of Abusers in the general population. Then we discuss the key methods Abusers use to select and lure their targets into a toxic relationship.This is the podcast series that does so much more than entertain. It's designed to help you develop your manipulation supe
Unmasking the Abuser Episode 1 - Secrets About Abusers
Have you ever wondered about the men who abuse their romantic partners? Are they aware of what they're doing? Can they change to become loving husbands and fathers? This episode explores the minds and hearts of Abusers, based upon nearly 700 in-depth interviews and 20 years of experience by Dr. Dina McMillan. Find out what's really happening in Abusers' heads and hearts, and learn w
Unmasking the Abuser Trailer 1
Have you ever wondered why so many women experience abuse in their relationships? Want to know how to keep yourself and your loved ones safe? This trailer outlines the new podcast series, Unmasking the Abuser, that finally exposes the secrets and manipulative strategies used so successfully by Abusers. The series can help you identity - accurately and early - the maneuvers and tricks used by Abuse
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