September: A Podcast For Loveships
September is a weekly podcast for Loveships, exploring the tools and technologies that build and sustain life-changing love relationships. Hosted by writer and facilitator Alexis Pauline Gumbs and artist and entrepreneur Sangodare Wallace, the show draws on their 17-year partnership built on the premise of Loveship as a spiritual practice and resource in community. Topics include conflict, contrast, responsibility, repair, emotional intimacy, and navigating the ever-changing seasons of life. Each week offers heartfelt conversations that honor relationships as sacred ground.
Episodes
51. The Monk & The Evangelist
In this episode we are invited into Sangodare’s sermon on relationship as an “advanced course”. They describe how their and Alexis’ life callings are are complementary and emphasize that community work should match the capacities, styles, skills, and personhood present, like mutualistic exchange in a mycorrhizal forest, and name culture, club, and campus as ways to remember, accompany, and create
50. Love To Navigate
In their 50th episode and one-year podcastiversary, Sangodare and Alexis explore the idea of navigation as facilitation in relationships and gatherings. Using Harriet Tubman they emphasize orienting to deeper values when maps fail, practicing dynamic navigation, and remembering that a detour is not necessarily a departure. They note their upcoming 18th anniversary and share exciting plans for fut
49. All Aboard
On this episode hosts Alexis and Sangodare introduce the loveship pillar practice “All Aboard,” describing relationship as a sacred container where all ages, parts, and messy or activated versions of self are welcome. They define ‘homefulness’ and offer journal prompts to help you discern what you’re inviting into your intimate space and what you’re letting go of. They offer 3 North Stars and clos
48. Love to Eat
On this episode hosts Alexis and Sangodare discuss the literal, social and spiritual impacts of physical nourishment. They explore the idea that nourishment comes in many forms and how proper or improper physical nourishment affects how they show up in relationship. They discuss how food is a conduit to getting our needs met, and emphasize the self-care inherent to meeting this requirement.Nourish
47. Love the Creative Power of Difference
This episode’s core teaching is valuing the creative power of difference, with hosts Sangodare and Alexis drawing on Audre Lorde’s “Difference and Survival” to frame differences as polarities that spark possibility, expanded choice, collective flourishing, and a living Earth. They discuss how differences in gender expression and money stories can create dissonance but also curiosity, intimacy, and
46. Love to Countdown and Celebrate
On this episode hosts Alexis and Sangodare. This episode is an instagram live about relationships as spiritual practice that Alexis and Sangodare did to celebrate the ONE MONTH COUNTDOWN to their 18th anniversary in Loveship! There are great questions and lots of silliness. Enjoy!If you want to support this podcast and have access to monthly live sessions with us and other goodies, join us on P
45. Love to Nourish: Nourishing Our Love
On this episode hosts Alexis and Sangodare ask listeners to notice what experiences sustain versus deplete. A story about an upgraded all-inclusive resort in St. Lucia comically illustrates how what looks valuable may not be nourishing. They offer journaling prompts, share three “North Stars” about nourishment, and announce Sangodare’s wedding officiating plus the September Chrysalis Experience re
44. Love to Work It Out
On this episode hosts Alexis and Sangodare discuss how grace, generosity, clear communication of needs, and non-judgment help them stay on the same team when neurodivergence, grief, or overwhelm makes tasks hard. They share an Audre Lorde excerpt about labor, love, fun, and purpose. They offer three “North Stars” and announce registration for the September Chrysalis Experience cohort during their
43. Do NOT Love to Whisper
On this mini episode hosts Alexis and Sangodare offer a clip from a live episode in the spring about using your voice. Because love is living with purpose, join us for our second Chrysalis Cohort this September! More info here:https://www.blackfeministfilmschool.com/offers/oKhBLdfoIf you want to support this podcast and have access to monthly live sessions with us and other goodies, join us on Pat
42. Love You For Lifetimes
On this episode hosts Alexis and Sangodare challenge the idea of separation across time, using Jewelle Gomez’s Black lesbian feminist vampire novel The Gilda Stories as a sacred text about kinship and multi-lifetime impact. They share three of their own practices for “living beyond one lifetime.” They offer three “North Stars” and announce registration for the September Chrysalis Experience cohort
41. So Special, So Special, So Special
On this episode hosts Alexis and Sangodare focus on reclaiming the term “special” in a sincere way. They argue systems like capitalism and empire discourage recognizing inherent dignity and discuss why this self recognition is not vanity but deeply spiritual work. They close by announcing registration for the September Chrysalis Experience retreat via mobilehomecoming.org.Reclaiming SpecialWhy Spe
40. Love To Let It Flow
On this episode hosts Sangodare and Alexis discuss purpose as “love flowing into form,” how society and capitalist value stories can separate people from purpose, and how natural gifts often become last on the to-do list. They unpack over-prioritizing support for others at the expense of their own creative practice, the need to value our most precious connections to source and consent around purpo
39. Love To Offer Our Lives
On this episode hosts Sangodare and Alexis introduce love as a collective superpower, arguing that love’s fullest power is not individual or confined to isolated couples or the nuclear family but lives on the scale of community and collective freedom. Drawing from Angela Davis’s autobiography, they highlight how her story centers collective support and love as forces that propelled her political c
38. An Unreasonable Love (Go Knicks!)
On this episode hosts Sangodare and Alexis celebrate the New York Knicks winning their first NBA championship in 53 years, and how sports and fandom connects to the legacy of collective love and teamwork. Using Alexis’s Dad’s Knicks loyalty as a metaphor, they offer three north stars about how love is it’s own reason and answer a listener question about whether or not it makes sense to have a goal
37. Urgent versus Important
On this episode hosts Sangodare and Alexis distinguish what is urgent (time-based) from what is important (value-based) amid capitalist pressures. Using experiences around Black Feminist Film School production and podcast scheduling, they emphasize that clarity about the important attracts community support, while urgency can undermine rest and presence. They invite listeners to a virtual Juneteen
36. We Go Together (Announcement)
If you want to support this podcast and have access to monthly live sessions with us and other goodies, join us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/did-i-mention-we-159287534Join before June 19th (Juneteenth!) to be at our first virtual hangout session. #datenightYou can also send us a tax-deductible donation via “text to give." Send a text to this number: 53-555. All you have to put
35. Love To Shake It Up
In this episode hosts Sangodare and Alexis define what it does and doesn’t look like to spend intentional time together. They distinguish vacations, staycations and jaunts and how they draw distinction and boundaries between these experiences and work and family trips. They recount a recent jaunt involving deep conversations, play, and a near–EV battery mishap and cite Gwendolyn Brooks on blooming
34. I Love Every Age Of You
In this episode hosts Sangodare and Alexis explore non-linear time, queer time, and the practice of loving every age of oneself and one’s partner. Using a conflict about an expensive pillow after mattress shopping, they discuss feeling unseen, re-parenting each other, and how multiple selves show up in adult life, while clarifying boundaries and rejecting any justification of harm to minors. They
33. Love to Hold It Down
In a live episode at North Star Church of the Arts in Durham, Sangodare and Alexis use a seafaring metaphor to explore what it means to be “anchored in love”. They unpack how preparation, resourcing and kindness can keep a “love ship” steady through change. They discuss identifying resilience strategies before you need them, discerning when to move versus be still, and remind us that being able to
32. Love Through The Dark
In this episode hosts Alexis and Sangodare explore the idea of the “dark night of the soul,” through poetry and a very literal dark-night story of their own. They offer three “North Stars” to help listeners return to love even through the darkness, and answer a listener question about a time they each had to “compost” habits and beliefs that did not serve their highest purpose.Navigating spiritual
31. Love To Be Late
Hosts Sangodare and Alexis reflect on time as a social construct and discuss their contrasting time styles. They share time keeping systems that have worked for them and illustrate how shared practices can align intentions, remembering that ultimately, love is always on time. A listener question prompts discussion of repetition, purpose, and consistent relationship practices. They close with annou
30. Purpose as the Root of Love
Hosts Sangodare and Alexis explore the idea of a “loveship” ad a relationship as spiritual practice. They urge listeners to treat purpose as the seed and root of love, contrasting “happily ever after” with “purposefully ever after,” and grounding the discussion in Audrey Lorde’s mantra, “I am who I am doing what I came to do.” They argue that purpose is an ongoing relationship with one’s aliveness
29. Love the Place You Live: A Live Durham Episode
In this live recorded episode, hosts Alexis and Sangodare welcome the audience into their playful, tangent-filled “living room”. This episode’s theme is loving the place you live: sharing why Durham supports their purpose, community circles, creativity, and wholeness despite concerns about change and cost. They offer three “North Stars” and answer a listener's question about staying present i
28. Love Anniversaries & Loveship Milestones
It's our half-birthday—our podcast's 6 month anniversary!If you want to support this podcast and have access to monthly live sessions with us and other goodies, join us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/did-i-mention-we-159287534For more on our coaching and community building offerings, Click Herehttps://www.mobilehomecoming.org/loveshipAnd because love is living with purpose, jo
27. Grounded: Sky Will Learn Sky
In this episode Alexis and Sangodare discuss relationship ground rules. They explore contemplative presence before action, awe and surrender to one’s power and surprises in partnership, and repeatedly expanding definitions of what’s possible. They also announce an upcoming Black feminist breathing gathering and a live podcast taping.What Alice Contrane teaches usExpanding the Definition of what’s
26. Celebrate the Squabble: There is One Right Way to Make a Grilled Cheese Sandwich
In this episode Alexis and Sangodare offer a relationship practice: “celebrate the squabble,” framing conflict as a generative opportunity for growth rather than something to fear, and grounding it with levity and curiosity. Drawing on Audre Lorde’s image of love acting “like a drug or a chisel,” they share about their first fight and seeking support that holds conflict as teacher rather than a br
25. Metronomes of Love: Influences, Cycles, and Ground Rules in Relationship Rhythms
In this episode Sangodare and Alexis reflect on their “love ship” as a rhythmic, metronome-like practice shaped by consistent internal and external influences. They discuss their first live podcast recording at Gladys Books and Wine, and responding to audience questions from that event, they cite influences on their relationship including Love on the Spectrum and Couples Therapy. They also describ
24. Loveships Live: Ocean Rhythms
Alexis and Sangodare host a magnetic live recording at Gladys Books and Wine. They discuss the origins of the “love ship” and introduce the idea of “polyrhythm,” where each person carries different beats, such as one handling business while the other opts out. They offer three “North Stars” and address audience questions about social media’s impact on dating and relationship visibility and approac
23. The Goal is Freedom: Love Beyond Roles
On this episode Alexis and Sangodare discuss attraction, complementary energies, and how partners can evolve beyond fixed gender roles, drawing on Toni Cade Bambara’s “On the Issue of Roles” to emphasize revolution as freedom. They share an Ifa initiation transformation, offer three “North Stars,” and answer a listener question about spouses in business conflict: align on shared goals, seek suppor
22. Let’s Get Physical Embracing Physical Intimacy and Embodied Love
Sangodare and Alexis delve into the importance of physical intimacy and the practice of embodying love. They reflect on their personal journeys with working out, the significance of ancestral figures like Pat Parker and Audrey Lorde, and the scholarship of Mecca Jamila Sullivan. They emphasize the interconnectedness of our hearts and bodies, providing practical insights into embracing one's p
21. We Free: Creating Our Own Love Ceremonies
On this episode Alexis and Sangodare delve into the concept of creating personal and communal ceremonies that honor individual and collective cycles. They explore reclaiming traditional holidays like Valentine's Day and a look at the importance of defining what is sacred in relationships. The hosts share personal stories and rituals, emphasizing transformation, consistent presence, and the li
20. Embodied Conflict: Relax, Relate, Release
In this episode Alexis and Sangodare explore what happens when relationship conflict shows up in the body. They discuss the powerful practice of expressing emotions and using physical manifestations, like a crick in the neck, as signals to address hidden feelings. Drawing on wisdom from classic TV and their own experiences, they encourage listeners to relax, relate, and release. They address a lis
19. Romancing the Stone: Embrace Self-Love First
In this episode Alexis and Sangodare explore the profound importance of self-love as a foundational practice in relationships. The episode draws inspiration from black feminist literature and discusses the concept of 'romancing the stone'—the idea that we should lavish love and care on ourselves before extending it to others. Practical advice includes creating accessible self-love practi
18. Wingspan (not Wingman): Love and Accompaniment
Hosts Sangodare and Alexis delve into the concept of 'Wingspan' to illustrate how supporting each other enhances our capacity for love and connection. Drawing on Audre Lorde’s challenge “I am not supposed to exist. But I do,” the episode meditates on flocking, and the supposedly impossible flights on bees to celebrate the power of shifting the energy and moving towards the futures we en
17. Turning Towards Love: Embracing Levity in Relationship Challenges
In this heartwarming and insightful episode, Alexis and Sangoare highlight the philosophy of 'staying in the ship' despite disagreements and hardships. It includes a hilarious anecdote involving nature and it’s wild things, a powerful insights from Bayard Rustin about the enduring power of love and a listener’s question about self-acceptance and readiness for partnership. This question i
16. Loveship Is and Loveship Ain't
How do you reconcile a childhood vision of knights, white horses, and Babyface soundtracks with the reality of queer love and liberation?To kick off the new year, Sangodare circles back to a foundational conversation about the definition of Loveship. While technically still on hiatus (Alexis returns next week!), this episode bridges the gap between Sangodare’s childhood "hopeless romantic&quo
15. Calling Us All Home
In this episode, Sangodare weaves today's conversation with an archived conversation wherein hosts Sangodare and Alexis reflect on the power of one's call to support us to find home in our own bodies. The hosts draw insight and inspiration fromBayard RustinFannie Lou HamerJames Baldwinand ancestral legacies.If you want to support this podcast and have access to monthly live sessions with
14. Balancing Boundaries and Blessings in Community
In this episode, hosts Sangodare and Alexis reflect on the intertwined nature of boundaries and blessings in personal and communal relationships. The discussion includes practical advice on setting boundaries while maintaining community connections, supported by an awesome listener question and personal anecdotes. The hosts emphasize the importance of honest communication, creative solutions, and
13. Vision and Possibility in Love: Honoring Heritage and Embracing Expansion
In this episode, hosts explore the themes of vision and possibility. The discussion includes creative processes for visioning, such as making vision boards and asking generative questions, inspired by Zora Neale Hurston's concept of “organized curiosity.” The hosts offer three 'North Stars' for expanding vision and conclude by promoting their audio course 'Wide Futures'.Vi
12. I Love Myself Enough
In this episode, hosts Alexis and Sangodare discuss the continuous journey of self-discovery and self-love, drawing inspiration from Essex Hemphill's ceremony of affirmation in the face of external and internalized oppression. They share personal experiences of self-realization, touching on the challenges and triumphs of understanding one's identity. The hosts outline three 'North S
11. Partner and Parent Patterns!
In this episode, Alexis and Sangodare reflect on the impact of family-of-origin dynamics on how we love romantically. With a grounding sacred text from Audre Lorde's essay “Eye to Eye”, they reveal how recognizing these patterns can lead to healing and liberation. The episode emphasizes intentionality in relationships, the importance of community support, and celebrates the love and influence
10. AffOrmations: The Answer is in the Question
In this solo episode, Sangodare unpacks afformations (not to be confused with affirmations) and their transformative power in all areas of life. Sangodare explores their learnings from the book ‘Afformations: The Miracle of Positive Self-Talk’ by Noah St. John, emphasizing the importance of belief, generative practices, and asking the right questions. They highlight how altering self-talk can crea
9. We Love Celebration: Celebrating Community, Relationships, and Personal Growth
In this episode hosts Sangodare and Alexis celebrate the power of joy and gratitude within their community, relationships, and personal growth. they emphasize the importance of celebrating their elders, relationships, and the journey of black lesbians. The hosts introduce celebration as a technology, which they leverage to foster community and progress. They share personal anecdotes about turning
8. Embracing the Power of Requests: A Loveship Practice
In this episode, Alexis and Sangodare unpack the power of making requests, emphasizing the importance of learning to make and receive requests in relationships as a practice of vulnerability and community building. They discuss how asking for what we want can enhance cooperation and trust. The episode encourages listeners to see requests as acts of generosity and steps towards deeper connections.T
7. Boundaries as Blessings in Loveships
In this episode, hosts Sangodare and Alexis discuss profound themes around communicating desires and boundaries in Loveships. They share personal anecdotes, highlight insights from black feminists like June Jordan and Prentis Hemphill, and provide guidance on practicing healthy caring, non-codependent relationships. They emphasize the importance of community, mutual respect, and open communicatio
6. Inherently Valuable: Worthiness in Relationships
This discussion highlights our universal need for love and intimacy, and how the perceived scarcity of these elements can lead to lowered standards and feelings of unworthiness. Drawing on Ntozake Shange’s mantra “I found God in myself and I loved her fiercely, the episode underscores the importance of recognizing our intrinsic worth and the examples of love and intimacy that truly resonate with o
5. Transformative Power of Heartbreak and Growth in Relationships
In this episode, hosts Sangodare and Alexis delve into the concept of heartbreak as a crucial part of spiritual growth and self-awareness within relationships. The episode shares personal stories of past heartbreaks and the lessons learned from those experiences, emphasizing the importance of intuition and self-trust. They outline three 'North Stars' guiding through heartbreak: understan
4. Expanding Intimacy and Dedication in Relationships
In this episode hosts Sangodare and Alexis explore the multifaceted concept of intimacy as a vital part of loving relationships, romantic, platonic and otherwise. They discuss various forms of intimacy, reflecting on personal experiences and offering practical advice for expanding love and self-love. Listener questions address how to build healthy relationships despite past toxic experiences. Addi
3. What is a ‘Love Ship’? Relationships as a spiritual offering
In this episode, hosts Sangodare and Alexis explore the concept of the 'love ship' as a profound spiritual practice and a journey in relationships. With references to black feminist thought and their personal experiences, they outline three 'North Stars' guiding love ships: spiritual depth, mutual participation, and constant compassion. The episode also addresses a listener&apo
2. The Power of Dedication: Cultivating Love as Spiritual Practice
In this episode, hosts Sangodare and Alexis introduce Dedication as a spiritual technology for enriching relationships and community, emphasizing that recognizing our connections to others can transform mundane interactions into powerful experiences. They explore the importance of dedication in bringing forth the best versions of ourselves and fostering deeper connections. They also share practice
1. Manifesting Love as a Spiritual Practice: Technology
In this heartfelt first episode of their podcast, Sangodare and Alexis celebrate their 17th anniversary and discuss their journey of relationship as a spiritual practice. They delve into topics such as manifesting a partner through self-awareness and intention, healing from past relationships, and the importance of knowing and articulating desires. They share personal stories, including Sangodare’
Trailer - Welcome to September: A Podcast For Loveships!
Welcome! Join us, Alexis Pauline Gumbs and Sangodare Wallace, as we share our 17-year journey of approaching our romantic relationship as a sacred gift and offering to the community. In this podcast, we explore the transformative power of relationships and discuss what it means to love as a spiritual practice. Each week, we will share our insights and respond to questions from the community, focus
