
The Fifth Column
The Fifth Column is a weekly podcast where Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch discuss news, politics, and culture with a mix of analysis, commentary, and humor. They often feature guests and aim to maintain sanity in a chaotic world. The show includes a members-only subscription edition with listener mail and occasional singing.
Episodes
The Revolution Will Be Staffed by PhDs (w/co-host Peter Meijer) - #564
-The Fifth Column whiskey racket begins-Matt moves during a heat wave… Peter Meijer reports for duty-Meijer, class traitor, explains the pied-à-terre tax-Mayor Mamdani balances the budget, if you ignore the bailout-Kmele gets Hayek’d-Machine politics was bad, but graduate student politics is worse.-Bannon’s old Leninist fantasy, now available in DSA packaging-Kamala Harris genuflects toward Mamdan
Adam Carolla Has Nowhere Else to Go (Members Only #332)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comAlso: a serious discussion of the cinematic category known as “movies where they clearly came up with the title first.”-The N-word trap at the Hudson Yards gym-Joe Jackson dressed for the evil dad part-Phil Spector and the Wall of Sound defense-Richard Simmons slaps a cage fighter-How to respond to an asshole-Con Air,
One-Hitter: Sarah Isgur Explains the Supreme Court’s Big Finish (Members Only #331)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comWe are lucky to be joined once again by Executive Editor of SCOTUSblog, Sarah Isgur, and on a day when the Supreme Court gave everyone a lot to argue about.-Trump loses, birth tourism maybe does not-Anchor babies and America’s soccer future-The 14th Amendment gets weird-A color-blind Constitution, except when it isn’t-
The Cadres and the Cabal (#563)
-Welch enters his Charles Nelson Reilly era-Laura Branigan, Happy Mondays, and songs you didn’t know were covers-Puerto Rico’s revenge-The cadres are closing in-Reihan Salam and Larry Flynt-DAC hits the media circuit and refuses to answer the easiest question in politics-Aber Kawas explains 9/11, in a Miss South Carolina sort of way-Vaporware word clouds masquerading as policy-No borders, no priso
One Hitter: The DSA Takes NYC w/ Michael A. Cohen (Members Only #330)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comMichael A. Cohen is a columnist for MSNOW, a senior fellow at Tufts University’s Fletcher School, and co-director of its Afghanistan Assumptions Project. He also writes the Truth and Consequences newsletter. He is not the former fixer of Donald Trump.-The correct Michael Cohen stops by-Mamdani flexes in the primaries a
Genocide Juice and the Socialist Machine w/Reihan Salam (Members Only #329)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-Ethnicity as performance-Manhattan politics with the president of the Manhattan Institute-Dan Goldman orders coffee, receives moral instruction-The many political personalities of Brad Lander-Taxpayer-funded activism and the Office of Mass Engagement-Mamdani and the borg beneath the campaign-AOC, cadres, and disciplin
The Iran Deal Is Bad and Everyone Is Stupid (#562)
-Kmele debuts his Sebastian Bach beach jeans-The Iran deal is like the JCPOA, but a lot worse-Lebanon sneaks into a U.S.-Iran deal-Strait of Hormuz, 60-day promises, and negotiating with hostage-takers-Why can’t the hawks ever learn?-Ukraine brings the war home to Russia-Drones, oil refineries, and the new cost of war-Europe wakes up… sort of-Meloni jabs her digits at Trump-Polymarket checks the d
Batya Ungar-Sargon and the Status Revolution (Members Only #328)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comBatya Ungar-Sargon, host of Batya! on NewsNation, returns!!! And with a new book, The Jews and the Left, about antisemitism, anti-Zionism, and why so much of the modern left has made Jews the enemy. -JD Vance, Tucker, and the anti-Israel right-The Iran deal, Rubio’s silence, and Trump’s trial balloon-What Batya got wro
The Knicks, Oyster Man, and the Infinite Lies (#561)
-The Knicks give New York its greatest night in years and OG makes his MVP case-Valid destruction or peaceful rioting?-A brief detour through America’s dumbest college mascots-Dave Chappelle and Shane Gillis give Moynihan a perfect Comedy Cellar night-Kmele roots for the Spurs, but only to punish Knicks fans-Spike Lee has been on the court long enough-Which celebrity row courtsider gets booed?-Mam
A Hamster Wheel of Shit w/Ana Navarro (Members Only #327)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comThroughout this entire interview, Ana remains furious that our office was stocked with whiskey, but only half a bottle of white wine and absolutely no pizza.-The White House press corps just takes it-Kristen Welker gets the Trump treatment (and would Trump have tried that with Tim Russert?)-Ana Navarro is here, from on
When Political Violence Has the Right Enemies w/ Noah Rothman (Members Only #326)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comNoah’s new book is Blood and Progress… not to be confused with “Blood and Soil,” a phrase Moynihan has been muttering to himself around the office.-A book squarely in the TFC wheelhouse-The teens, the twenties, the sixties, the seventies, and now-The forgotten history of left-wing violence-Italian anarchists and “propa
Populism for Morons, Journalism for Martyrs (Episode #560)
-a dog is on set and Kmele should be wearing a helmet-Bernie Sanders wants to collectivize AI-The boys bask in the warmth of collectivism-Never trust a politician giving something back to “the people”-The centrist Democrat goes missing-It’s still a Nazi tattoo, goddammit-Character is out. Winning is in-Andy the Ogre Ogles has thoughts on the gays and Ted Cruz answers the question and keeps walking
Senator Chris Murphy Wants You to Join a Cult (Members Only #325)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comChris Murphy’s book, Crisis of the Common Good, is out now-Murphy opens his book by dunking on his son’s NHL prospects-Pitching the common good-Trump is not the disease. He’s the symptom-Buy more stuff, feel worse, repeat until democracy collapses-Kids, phones and the algorithmic hell machine-Congress wants to regulate
A Great Nation in Decline Welcomes Australia’s Finest w/ Josh Szeps (Members Only #324)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comBe sure to check out Uncomfortable Conversations with Josh Szeps, Australia’s greatest podcaster and interviewer, which apparently counts.-90 minutes of Kmele cleaning his glasses-Josh is on drugs now-RIP Jack Karlson, hero of democracy manifest-we will be referring to limp penis throughout this show-Erect until the en
Ben Rhodes and the Evil Empire State of Mind (#559)
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribeCheck out Ben Rhodes new book: All We Say: The Battle for American Identity: A History in 15 Speeches-Ben Rhodes, wounded ’90s Knicks fan-Are we winning in Iran yet?-what should the President do with Iran right now?-Sanctions suck, mostly-Cuba and the Ob
Why'd You Gag Me, Preet Bharara! (Members Only #323)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comThe podcast is called Stay Tuned with Preet, and if you find yourself wanting more legal analysis from someone who knows the system from the inside and still has a sense of humor about it.-Trump 2.0 & the frictionless DoJ-The one thing Jeff Sessions did right-Even Bill Barr had his limits-Why do smart lawyers follow st
TFC LIVE in DC at w/ Lulu Garcia-Navarro & Robby Soave - Members Only #322
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comAfter 10 years of doing this podcast, this week we had our first ever DC show at the Miracle Theatre on Capitol Hill. We were joined onstage by Robby Soave of Reason, and Lulu Garcia-Navarro of The New York Times’ The Interview. Join us as we wax nostalgic about the city we love to hate, and so much more.•The Curse of
Matt Yglesias on Cancellation, Mamdani, and the AI Panic (Members Only #321)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comMatthew Yglesias is a liberal policy writer and longtime blogger. He co-founded Vox, now writes the Slow Boring newsletter, and is known for wonky-but-readable takes on housing, economics, Democratic politics, foreign policy, and the abundance agenda.-Matty finally makes it through the firewall-What type of gay is Kme
The Youngest Guy in the Worst Room in America w/ Rep. Maxwell Frost (Episode #558)
We talk about broken housing markets, broken healthcare, broken Congress, Trump’s corruption, a broken Cuba, Epstein, UAPs, and the tragedy of being a drummer with no place to practice.-Making music is for rich kids now-From jazz drummer to Hillary field organizer-Sandy Hook, March for Our Lives, and the road into politics-Florida’s felon disenfranchisement fight-Guns, swamps, Confederate flags, a
When Everyone Stops Pretending w/ Steven Pinker (Episode #557)
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe- Steven Pinker on why “common knowledge” is much stranger than it sounds-The social machinery behind weddings, money, and power-How a norm starts to die once someone breaks it and gets rewarded-Trump as the great destroyer of polite restraints-The insti
Robert D. Kaplan on a World Getting Darker (Members Only #320)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comHis next book, China Whisperers (out in November), looks at the diplomats, journalists, scholars, and China hands who shaped America’s understanding, and misunderstanding, of its chief geopolitical rival. But we pretty much cover the entire globe in this conversation.-The experts had it coming-Federalists, anti-federal
Masquerade of Morons (Episode #556)
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe-Kmele gets glasses-The return of Soho legs-Matt’s movie-theater race science-Trump sends a letter to Congress saying the war is over, Iran says, “wtf?”-Little Marco, Fog of War correspondent-A very leaky White House-Strange new respect for the anti-war
Premeditated Fingering w/ Anthony Scaramucci (Members Only #319)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comWe’re joined by Anthony Scaramucci, founder of SkyBridge Capital, former White House Communications Director, and one of the more memorable casualties of Trump 1.0-The Mooch reads the stars-The truth is out there, allegedly-954,000 seconds in the White House-The Ryan Lizza thing, briefly-the reason God made Steve Banno
David French on the Supreme Court, Race, and the Miracle That Confirmed His Faith #555
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe …and how raising a black daughter changed the way he sees America.-David French returns to the Fifth Column-SCOTUS drops of a few ruling-Free speech wins 9-0 (First Choice Women’s Resource Centers v. Davenport)-The Voting Rights Act gets another trim (L
Crimes of Boredom (Members Only #318)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comAfter the failed shooting at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, the boys sift through bad manifestos, assassination discourse, microlooting, conspiracy politics, and the strange moral permissions of America’s bored radicals.-Matt’s 15-year Werner Herzog hangover workshop-judging the newest failed killer manifesto-
Tucker, Totenkopf, and the Fascist Question w/ Michelle Goldberg #554
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe-have we met before, or did we just share a zip code?-Iran is a disaster from basically every possible angle-you don’t go to war with this president-maybe just crawl back to a worse JCPOA and call it historic-Venezuela “worked,” which is exactly why it m
Live From Village Underground: The 10th Anniversary Show w/Ryan Long (Members Only #317)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comComedian Ryan Long stops by to join the guys at their very special 10th year anniversary. A few live mics, a non-stop flow of mystery drinks, and audience participation: what could go wrong? -10 years later, the grievance ledger is still very much active-Brett Weinstein cannot think his way back from the moon-Andrew Sc
Audience of One w/ Brian Kilmeade (Members Only #316)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comThe border, the bombs, and can you guess how many Baldwins there are? -up at 2:30am, in by 4am, then 6 straight on-air hours before the fill-in shift even starts-Glenn Beck saved 5pm and accidentally birthed The Five-Fox News finally discovered the internet-2020 was insane and everyone got dumber-if the facts change ev
Nothing is Impossible w/ Mark Harmon (Members Only #315)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comHe has spent a lifetime around fame, a heroic father, football mythology, and old Hollywood… and somehow still comes off like the calmest guy in the room.-Steve McQueen and a Mini Cooper-what Carl Reiner was really like, and why Summer School still rules-growing up with Tom Harmon: Heisman winner, broadcaster, fighter
A Blockade of the Blockade #553
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe-Where have ye gone Chris Matthews?-California’s governor race is a freak show (Fang Fang rides again)-Bring Kevin Spacey to the table?-Barney Frank, Ted Kennedy, and different standards-The anti-gambling jihad-Talks about talks about talks-The good ‘ole
Supreme Court, Inferior Congress w/ Sarah Isgur (Members Only #314)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comSarah Isgur, Executive Editor of SCOTUSblog, has a book! Last Branch Standing is out today. -The Ted Lasso version of the Supreme Court-The Supreme Court is not the 6-3 cartoon people think it is-RBG thought Roe was built on weak foundations-The Court decides legal questions, not good policy vs. bad policy-Congress is
The Ceasefire That Wasn’t #552 (w/ Abe Greenwald)
-The wrong Greenwald, but the actual Abe-Everyone loves our ad spots-Iran’s deranged peace menu-Ceasefire, with extra missiles-The joint Hormuz tollbooth fantasy-What Iran lost, even if nobody can sell it-Regime change, but not the fun version-Vanceworld (probably) leaks to the Times-Trump threatens apocalypse, then shrugs-Pakistan, Vance, and easier marks-Groypers and other forms of loser energy-
Halfwits, Knuckle Draggers, and Droolers (Members Only #313)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comBEHOLD, the Mailbag (aka male-bagging, aka you-yell-at-us-and-we-tell-you-to-fuck-off)-The Easter Bunny claps for the Iran rescue-Lie long enough and eventually your conscience taps out-about that Rahm moment-who remembers Jazz Hands?-maybe woke actually is over-Bret Weinstein, vindication for the Evergreen psychos-Hel
Ten Years of The Fifth Column (#551)
The Fifth Column marks ten years with a live, loose, alcohol-assisted celebration featuring Thor Halvorssen, Pete Meijer, Olivia Reingold, Nick Gillespie, and Nancy Rommelmann, with stops along the way for Venezuela, culture war absurdity, Jewish identity, sexual politics, old stories, new grievances, and the usual refusal to keep anything on the rails. WATCH IT on Youtube:The Fifth Column (A Podc
Cuba, Race, and the American Category Problem w/Ted Henken (Members Only #312)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comOh, and Wednesday marks the 10th anniversary of this show, yes, on April Fools’. Can you fucking believe it? Join us for the only appropriate celebration, a LIVE late-night shitfest of alcohol, probable technical mishaps, and some very special guests.-Theodore Henken, plantanified yuma-Why America still can’t quit Cuba
The Limits of Sound and Fury w/ Rahm Emanuel (Members Only #311)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Maybe I wasn’t exactly a prince* Why nobody should want to stay in Washington too long* The worst job in politics* The ACA, “the three children,” and the birth of the Tea Party* The Great Recession and losing your ticket to the American dream* Trump didn’t invent the anger, he captured it* The no-drinking-until-the-m
Is Apple Still Apple? #550 (w/ David Pogue)
Kmele loves Apple products…maybe a little too much. But what a perfect guest to talk all things related to this monster company and how it’s shaped American culture and the globe as a whole.-The Newton saved Apple-What Kmele does with Apple products in the shower-The underdog with taste-Why Matt Welch hates Macs-On getting access to Apple-Project Titan and the $10 billion heartbreak-Apple as a med
The Hungarian Road to Havana (Members Only #310)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-Celine Dion, slightly less stiff-Every headline out of Hungary is insane-The Orbán character arc-The Polish miracle-Conservative 2Pac in the Borat republic-Cuba is falling apart, Hasan Piker is thriving-Cuba’s healthcare miracle, minus aspirin-Why pseudo-intellectuals love communist field trips-The pig whose vocal cor
There’s Always a New Monster to Destroy (w/ Noam Dworman) #549
-Joe Kent’s weird texts and the “Israel did Iraq” brainworm-The Jews are so fucking clever-Iraq 2003, back from the dead yet again-There’s always a new monster to destroy-Iran, nukes, and the problem with crazy people holding civilization hostage-A Ron Paul guy with a war boner-Don’t you realize you’re losing America?-Norman Finkelstein has no phone-Mearsheimering, Robert Pape, and the incentives
Cuba in the Dark (Members Only #309)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-Gov. Chris Christie debrief-Kmele nearly dies after seeing the new hidden painting on set-K-Pop Nazi Hunters and Sinners-Joy Reid says America is basically Iran now-Straight from The Communist-Lights out in Cuba-The Gains of the Cuban Revolution-”I got my job from the New York Times”-The old broken Cuban system finall
Gov. Chris Christie Tells on Everyone #548
-Gov. Chris Christie says Kmele has no excuse-Getting drunk with Colbert-No drugs, ever-RFK Jr.’s drug use-The only things Trump believes in-something is a little off about John Kasich-Olivia Nuzzi is a Freak, Crumb Cake edition-Michael Barbaro tried to take the Gov down with food-Bon Jovi, Bruce, and New Jersey loyalty tests-The Little Marco Florsheim Fib-The ultimate Kushner lore, aka The Prosti
A Brief Defense of the Vampires w/ Lloyd Blankfein (Members Only #308)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comHe also weighs in on populism, inequality, private credit, and why a country can be prosperous on paper while still feeling bleak to the people living in it.-“Blankfein hates minorities”-the economy is strong, unless you don’t own anything-get a grip, it’s not 1968-semi-charmed kind of life-from Russia to China, the cy
Many Worlds, Bad Science, and the Strangeness of Being w/Sean Carroll (Members Only #307)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comFrom the multiverse to time travel to bad studies and internet “experts,” and then all the way to metaphysics and belief, Sean Carroll explains why modern life makes everyone sound so sure about things they barely understand.-Moynihan is genuinely unnerved by space-a theoretical physicist’s favorite music is prog rock,
Iran and the Fog of Regime Change (w/Hooman Majd) - #547
Hooman Majd comes from a family that reads like a parable about modern Iran: a grandfather who was an ayatollah, an uncle who worked for the Shah, and a folk-singing aunt. Everyone’s family has a version of this, right?-Iran is a tragedy-the sense of triumph has already faded-is Hooman happy the Supreme Leader was killed?-Trump’s motive: regime change, or only regime adjustment?-a ring of fire aro
Iran and the Dee Snider Doctrine (Members Only #306)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-Matt takes off his glasses, Kmele panics-Moynihan is furious we started a war during his aggressive vomiting window-The Great Unwrapping of Liberated Iranian Women as the most convincing reason for war-Marco Rubio sells the rationale in Möbius-strip logic-the Dee Snider Doctrine-The Death of the War Powers Resolution-
One Hitter: War With Iran and Jewish Space Lasers w/ Nadav Eyal (Members Only #305)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comJournalist Nadav Eyal joins Welch and Moyniahn to game out the Iran strikes, why Gaza’s endgame is still murky, and why the “no boots on the ground” promise matters more than most hot takes admit. -Zen and the Art of Strategic Surprise-Everyone who’s anyone in the region knew this was going to happen.-Why the US was co
The Revolutionaries (w/ Ken Layne) -- #5
I first met Ken Layne sometime in 1991, back when Vanilla Ice ruled the pop charts, the Soviet Union was still a thing, and Canadians still had a reasonable expectation of winning the Stanley Cup.We have been collaborating and experimenting ever since -- a little newspapering here, some music there, various dot-com shenanigans, all of it in a spirit of adventure, learning, and hijinks. Ken has wri
State of the Union Post-Mortem with Senator Elissa Slotkin (D-MI) - #546
-Matt Welch’s Caribbean identity crisis at Da Pig Beach-The State of the Union aka a two-hour hostage note-A greatest hits, lowest lights compilation for President Camacho-The futility of “speeching” your way through a math-defying approval rating-You can’t talk your way through a 38% approval rating-Let the hockey boys drink-Dan Crenshaw is allowed to be mad-The RNC’s new guard of real fucking bo
Locker Room Talk and the Pizzagate Reunion Tour (Members Only #304)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comKash chugs it back with the toothless championsTrump and his locker room talk with the boysState of the Union and the Six Year ItchA uniquely conspiratorial moment in an already conspiratorial nationPizzaGate nostalgia hourFact checking dies in publicA laundry list of made up shit that’s not even close to being trueBab
A Big, Beautiful SCOTUS Decision (with Damon Root) MO #303
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Damon Root’s book Overruled: The Long War for Control of the U.S. Supreme Court * Basic civics, reintroduced* Root’s mood in five words* What becomes of this useless Congress?* Why not 9–0? Root on the three dissenters * The “major questions doctrine” translated* Profiles in inconsistenty* Doesn’t matter! Trump will
Ambiguity in the Age of Outrage (w/ Jon Meacham) - #545
-The dork Star Wars cantina of famous biographers-Jefferson’s hypocrisy and the impossibility of paragon standards-Lincoln was not an abolitionist-The Howard Zinnification of American history-Ambiguity as the ideological propagandist’s mortal enemy-The true (New Testament) saint of America-George H.W. Bush’s blunt admission-This president would cut your throat for a vote, then be the first to call
Voodoo Socialism and the $3 Million Rainy Day Fund w/ William Neuman (Members Only #302)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-Please say hello to our new Sunset Park neighbor-The American Chávez -The Nobel Prize Grudge-The Dictatorship That Remained-Political Pilgrims and Failed Experiments-Maria the Maid and the, “Gay Marriage Lady” slur-A Masterclass in Macro-Failure-The Media Pioneer-The Illusion of Democracy-Economic Voodoo-The “Police”
The Revolutionaries (w/ Robert Sullivan) - #4
For Christmas 2024, I was gifted Robert Sullivan’s delightful My American Revolution: A Modern Expedition Through History’s Forgotten Battlegrounds. I devoured it within 24 hours. It is no exaggeration to say that the book is responsible as anything else for this little Semiquincetennial miniseries you are (hopefully!) enjoying.As you will hear in this episode, Sullivan at the time of publication
The Great American Mustache Ride (w/ John Bolton) - #544
-John Bolton, Olympic Curling Hawk-Arguing with the 60s Since 1970-I’m kind of a Libertarian (Minus the Defense Part)-Iraq was actually kind of perfect-Federalist Papers as Foreign Aid (or maybe porn would suffice)-The Arab Spring Brain-Break-Afghanistan is Not Exactly a Nation-Regime Change, Case-by-Case-The Forward Defense of New Jersey-Ukraine and the Gray Zone Trap-The Nuclear Press Release-Tu
One Hitter- Senator Rand Paul is Lonely (Members Only #301)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-The Invertebrate Caucus-The New Tax Party-Ruby Ridge and Waco Redux-The Last Man Standing-The Crypto Appearance Problem-Government as a Mob Vig-The Fairness Trap-The Colombia Save, or how Rand prevented a military escalation by sending a quick text message to the President.-Epstein Transparency Collateral-Is Trump sti
Who's Afraid of The Big Bad Bunny? (Members Only #300)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comA deeply serious and important conversation over some listener-provided Scotch about the Super Bowl halftime show(s), the death of ad copywriting, dunking in the WNBA, pond skating, and the other Moynihan Report.•Oh good, Kmele started drinking early•About that game…•The horrible stereotypes in that halftime show•He ba
Let's Rally Together and Unfuck America (w/ John Avlon) - #543
John Avlon stops by only to learn he’s also in the Epstein files, why the Daily Beast should’ve sold dick pills, and why we need to rebuild guardrails on what some call “stolen land”* Where John is surprised to learn he’s in the Epstein files and suddenly remembers he has plans not to be here* The Ceaușescu of Long Beach * Moynihan actually voted for this guy!* Georgia, the FBI, and the Trump 2.0
Triumph of the Grift (Members Only #299)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com• Moynihan and Welch are in the Epstein files• A very indiscriminate and humiliating dump• Bannon & Epstein• Black boxes over kids, and the express train to Satanic Panic• Embarrassment is no reason• Moynihan’s Melania Review• Billie Jean is not my brother, but Jimmy Carter is my mother• That’s an awfully small ring to
The Revolutionaries (w/ Bill Schulz) - #3
What if you’re just … born wrong? (No, I don’t mean the darling little girl to the right.)You may know Bill Schulz through his years toiling as Greg Gutfeld’s “repulsive sidekick” on ye olde Fox News late-nite WTF show Red Eye (on which all of your co-hosts, and several of our guests, got some valuable reps back in the day). You may know Bill through his years on Compound Media doing shows with th
Enthusiastic Armadas, Armenian Bakeries, Ye’s Apology Ad - #542
-The NYC Rolling Hobo Express-An Enthusiastic Armada Full of Speed and Violence-Iranian Death Toll Discourse and Roger Waters Still Sucks-The Donroe Doctrine and the Near Abroad Dodge-Everyone’s Favorite Powder Keg-A Norwegian, A Rat Bag, and a Lunatic-A disgusting thing to say-Noem’s Bellebolent Hypotheticals-Stephen Miller’s Basement Lotions and the Little Rogaine Carpet-Fingerers, Reach-Arounds
TACO Tuesday in Minneapolis and the Fall of the Short King Cop (Members Only #298)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-A huge TACO Tuesday-Survival of the Spineless-Low-level insurgency infrastructure-Astroturf panic and the suspicious run to Walgreens-The problem with punching Nazis-Walz and Trump finally talk-Fuck you, Ted-The Great American Slur Revival-Short king Bovino and the self-inflicted smoke bomb-Democracy Dies in Payroll-W
One Hitter: Another ICE Shooting In Minneapolis with Peter Moskos (Members Only #297)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comOne topic in the news. One quick podcast on that single topic (rather than just texting each other about how certain media figures are vulgar, stupid, and morally depraved). Welcome back to the Fifth Column One Hitter! In the hours after ICE shot and killed Alex Pretti, we gathered at the studio to sit down with Peter
Trump Would Do Anything For Greenland (But He Won't Do That) - #541
•Don Does Davos•I Would Do Anything for Greenland (But I Won’t Do That)•Even MAGA Thought the Norway Text Was Fake News•The Danes’ Historical Resistance to Fascism•A Lament for the Belgian Congo•Cutting a Greenland Cake, and the Epidemic of Stupidity•Who the Fuck Is “We”?•Congress Could Do Something That Isn’t Impeachment•Shame Doesn’t Work•Past the Point of Passivity•Punching a Transtifa Baby•Mac
Football, Billy Joel, Van Halen, and the Fact-Checkable Life (w/ Chuck Klosterman) - Members Only #296
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comChuck Klosterman’s new book, Football is out now! (See also The Nineties, and Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs)-The music-doc cinematic universe, featuring Billy Joel and Japanese Jimmy Page-Moynihan missed the Morrissey cover-band boat-How to actually say Klosterman-From pop culture to America’s most popular TV show-It had
The Revolutionaries (w/ Jack Henneman) - #2
Two hundred and fifty years ago this very day, a gallant-strolling cat named George Washington convened in Cambridge about as high a level Patriot meeting as you could muster: John Adams, two major generals, five brigadier generals, and arguably the most connected man among the Boston rebels, Joseph Warren. There, the commander in chief persuaded his War Council of the “indispensible necessity of
How Much Benevolence Can You Take? - #540
-Good Movies We’ve Never Seen-Raw Dog Minerals-Moynihan Responds to a Cunty Troll-The Reckoning We Didn’t Have-Renee Good, a Week Removed-These People Have No Constitutional Knowledge-The MST3K of ICE Videos-The Sanctuary City Devaluation-Iranian Violence Spectacle and thoroughly verifying the dead-Weaponized DOJ: Now Featuring Powell and a Reporter Raid-The Walter Cronkite of This Generation-Low-
Why Can't We Be Friends? (w/ Ana Kasparian) - Members Only #295
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-Who Remembers the Armenians? (The Fresno ones)-The One Good Decision Gavin Newsom has made-Who Remembers Amy Cooper? (The Central Park one)-When Facts Become Partisan Coded-Journalism vs. Activism-Matt Welch Is Buffy St. Marie-Broken LA Dreams-The Actual Way to Pronounce Cenk Uygur-ICE’s Shock and Awe Theater is no lo
The Memory Hole & the Rent Freeze Trap (w/ Josh Barro) - #539
We’re joined by Josh Barro, contributing opinion writer at The New York Times and host of the Very Serious and Central Air Substack-Feldstein, Leibowitz, Berkowitz, and White Nationalist Moynihan-The Nancy Pelosi Riot, 5 years later-An ICE shooting in Minneapolis-Morally disgusting and electorally advantageous-Marco Rubio’s Spine Transplant-Memory-Holing Anarchy-The Warmth of Collectivism-Rent Con
Kevin Williamson Is The Darkness - Members Only #294
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com•Belated Christmas gifts from Matt•Who’s got the biggest war boner?•Lysander Spooner, still bringing people together after all these years•Kevin’s had four kids in 19 months. You do the math.•How to tell the kids apart? Tattoo ‘em!•Build, Baby, Build•Romney the virile tribal chieftain•Trump’s faux presidential run•Vene
One Hitter: Maduro Snatch 'n Grab with Thor Halvorssen (Members Only #293)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comOne topic in the news. One quick podcast on that single topic (rather than just texting each other about how certain media figures are vulgar, stupid, and morally depraved). Welcome back to the Fifth Column One Hitter! This time Matt and Moyn are joined by Human Rights Foundation founder—and Venezuelan dissident, despi
The Revolutionaries (w/ Charles C. Mann) - #1
Introducing The Revolutionaries, a new Fifth Column miniseries for the SemiquincentennialExactly 250 years ago yesterday, George Washington’s Continental Army attempted to drive the redcoats out of Canada, thereby protecting the rebels’ northern flank, by launching a two-pronged assault on Quebec.It was a disaster.There was snow and ice everywhere (who knew that Canada might be cold on New Year’s
Year Is Over (If You Want It) - #538
-Eggnog: What’s Actually in This Shit?-Massachusetts Pidgin-Kmele’s Kwanzaa Plans-“What We Got Wrong” (Nothing)-Eddington vs. Sinners-Spending Hundreds of Dollars to Get Drunk at Zootopia 2-Pearl Harbor: Live at Budokan-Moynihan Stroke Watch-The Ryan Lizza Self-Emasculating Saga… Continued-Mediaite’s Biggest Losers List-Batya! Recap (Now in Animation!)-Was Moynihan Wrong About the Epstein Files?-F
Sweet Baby Jesus! Are We Really Arguing About Sodomy with John Fugelsang? - Members Only #292
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comTwas the episode before Christmas, and all through the show, The hosts were debating how the political winds blow. Matt Welch was present, the whole crew was there, With Moynihan and Kmele, live on the air.The guest was John Fugelsang, with a name meaning “Birdsong,” Who’d been banished to Cali to write for so long. Wi
Black Irish, Ice Queens, and Body Snatchers (w/ Tina Nguyen) - #537
We’re joined by Tina Nguyen, Senior Reporter at The Verge, covering “Big Tech vs. Big Government death matches.” ⁃ All I want for Christmas is Wendy Williams-branded booze ⁃ Someone is a bit cracked out… ⁃ Big tech versus big government ⁃ (David) Sacks of cash ⁃ Susie goes wilding ⁃ The swamp is a viper pit ⁃ Hate the media. Need the media ⁃ A non-denial denial of a non-denial denial ⁃ MAGA’s son
Not Even Matt Drudge Can Make Today Better - On Rob Reiner, Bondi Beach, and DJT (Members Only #291)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* RIP Rob Reiner* Sorry about the horrific murders but…Go Bills!?* It was a great American who created Spinal Tap* Reaction from conservative pundits vs. conservative politicians* Trump’s derangement syndrome* And he doubles down…* The Islamist attack in Australia* Assimilation and integration: Europe vs. America* We’r
Nobody Likes a Gossip Cop (w/ Dan Abrams) - #536
Dan Abrams is the CEO and Founder of Abrams Media Chief Legal Analyst for ABC News, host of On Patrol: Live on Reelz, host of SiriusXM radio’s “The Dan Abrams Show,” host and executive producer of “Court Cam” on A&E Network.He is also the author of numerous New York Times bestselling books about forgotten trials in history and is also the founder of Mediaite.* In defense of legacy media. Sort of.*
Members Only #291 - Leader of the Asshole Nation (w/ Kevin O'Leary)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comMichael Moynihan sits down with entrepreneur, actor, and bon vivant Kevin O’Leary to talk about politics, money, and being an asshole.* The economics of...hockey? (He’s Canadian. It makes sense)* Mr Wonderful vs. Idiot King* Pierre misses the open net* Swiss watches and Swiss gold* Sell the damn chips to China!* The im
UNLOCKED Members Only #290 - AI George Washington, LSD Margaritas, and Tara Reid
It’s been a bit since it was just Michael, Kmele, and Matt at the table so we’ve decided to unlock this Members Only episode and invite everyone in. For (literally) hundreds more Members Only episodes, become a paying subscriber.•Heliocentric anime•50 Cent, documentarian•Boycott Black Murder•Glenn Beck is doing it for the kids•John Stossel walks into a bodega•And now, a few words from the father o
#535 - America's Top Breshnevist (w Brace Belden)
We’re joined by Brace Belden, co-host of the TrueAnon podcast. •They don’t make heroin anymore•The Taco Bell connection•King of the libertarians•Kmele almost dies•You say Somali, I say Somalian, let’s call the whole thing off•The people cut out of the Minnesota Somali fraud story•Does Ben Shapiro think we’re white?•A Maoist small businessman•Certain liberties•Curtis Yarvin discovers YouTube•Yarvin
UNLOCKED: Atheist in a Foxhole, w/ the Great Sebastian Junger
Periodically around these parts the audience demand for unpaywalling certain subscribers-only episodes becomes too clamorous to ignore. So it was with Members Only #286, our gripping conversation with celebrated author Sebastian Junger about his harrowing new book, In My Time of Dying.“Please consider making this a non-members only episode,” wrote beloved subscriber James G. “Ditto,” seconded Dani
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