Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.
Doing It Together is a podcast that explores the dynamics of low libido, sex, and intimacy in heterosexual marriages. Host Janna Denton-Howes, a relationship coach and sex educator, challenges common labels like 'low sex drive' and addresses root issues such as shame, emotional safety, and porn use. The show aims to help couples build a sex life that both partners genuinely enjoy, free from obligation or pressure.
Episodes
Learning to Trust Your “No” - with Sara | Ep. 205
In this episode, Sara shares the powerful journey of realizing that much of what she believed she was supposed to want sexually wasn’t actually what she wanted. She opens up about feeling inadequate, questioning what was wrong with her, and the relief that came from learning to recognize a “no” in her own body.Sara and Janna also explore what changed in her relationship when they took intercourse
Are You Going Through the Motions? - with Katie | Ep. 204
Katie spent years believing her sex life was good enough, until she began questioning how much she was actually enjoying it and how much she was simply tolerating. In this conversation, she shares how marriage, children, menopause, and cultural messages gradually disconnected her from her own desires.Katie and Janna explore why so many couples follow a formula for sex instead of discovering what g
What Your Anger Is Trying to Tell You - with Renee | Ep. 203
What if your anger isn't the problem—but a sign that something finally makes sense? In this episode, Janna sits down with Renee to explore the surprising emotion that surfaced as she began unlearning decades of harmful messages about women, sex, and marriage. What she once believed was a personal failure turned out to be something much bigger, and that realization changed everything.Together, they
What Sex Was Never Meant to Do - with John | Ep. 202
What if sex was never meant to create connection—but to celebrate the connection that's already there? In this episode, Janna sits down with John for a thoughtful and honest conversation about one of the most common dynamics in long-term relationships: when one partner looks to sex for closeness while the other needs closeness before they desire sex.John shares how he came to realize that he was a
What Happened When She Stopped Believing She Was the Problem - with Penny | Ep. 201
When Penny began questioning the messages she'd received about sex, she uncovered something far deeper than a lack of desire. For years, she'd been taught that sex was something she owed her husband rather than an experience she was allowed to enjoy herself. Penny shares how those beliefs shaped her marriage, her sexuality, and her sense of self—and what finally helped her begin experiencing intim
200 Episodes Later: Janna Gets Honest About the Last Four Years- with Janna's Daughter | Ep. 200
For the 200th episode of the Doing It Together podcast, the tables are turned as Janna sits in the guest seat while her daughter interviews her about the journey behind the microphone. Together, they look back on four years of honest conversations about sex, desire, marriage, and relationships, exploring how the podcast has evolved, the lessons learned along the way, and the moments that have chal
When Sex Becomes Emotional Currency – with Joanna | Ep. 199
Has sex become less about connection and more about keeping the peace? In this episode, Janna talks with Joanna about a pattern many couples quietly fall into, where sex becomes a way to restore harmony, avoid conflict, or make a partner happier rather than an experience rooted in mutual desire, pleasure, and connection.They unpack the emotional weight behind this dynamic and explore how it i
Why “Fixing” Your Partner Can Destroy Connection - with Derek | Ep. 198
What happens when loving someone means letting go of the need to fix them?Derek shares his journey of realizing that his attempts to rescue and support his wife were unintentionally creating distance between them. After years of trying to pull her out of pain and show her how wonderful life could be, he discovered that what she needed most wasn't someone to turn on the light—it was someone willing
Mutual Attunement for a Better Sex Life | Ep. 197
What if one of the keys to a more connected relationship isn't communicating better—but paying closer attention?In this episode, Janna and her husband pull back the curtain on a practice they've been intentionally developing in their marriage: attunement. Rather than waiting for your partner to tell you exactly what they need, attunement is the skill of noticing, anticipating, and staying emotiona
Two Sisters, Two Stories, One Impossible Standard - with Lauren & Christine | Ep. 196
When Lauren was invited to share her story on the podcast, she hesitated. Talking publicly about your sex life isn't easy—especially when your experience doesn't fit the cultural script of what a "healthy" woman is supposed to want. Then she surprised us with an unexpected suggestion: what if her sister joined the conversation?What followed was a candid, funny, and moving discussion between two si
Men, Marriage, and the Conversations We Were Never Taught to Have - with Brian | Ep. 195
In this surprisingly vulnerable conversation, Brian — a former fire chief turned maintenance mechanic — shares his story of growing up with almost no sex education beyond, “don’t get her pregnant,” and the quiet pressures men often carry alone. Together, we explore fear, conditioning, hard conversations, and what it looks like to begin questioning long-held patterns later in life.At 58, Brian open
Real Couples, Real Stories, Real Change: Inside Doing It Together | Ep. 194
At the end of each eight-week round of Doing It Together, Janna hosts a farewell call where couples gather together and she asks one powerful question: What surprised you most about your Doing It Together journey?In this episode, you’ll hear honest reflections from real couples about their experiences — what they learned, what they had to unlearn, and how their relationships changed along the way.
What It Really Feels Like to Go Through Doing It Together- with Justin | Ep.192
On the podcast today, Justin (the male mentor for the men’s group) and I pull back the curtain to share as real and honestly as we can what it feels like to progress through the Doing It Together program.We talk about:What do the men’s calls actually feel like?What do women talk about in week one?What happens when someone’s partner isn’t taking things as seriously?What emotions come up through the
The Hidden Reason Sex Started Feeling Unsafe - with Erica | Ep. 192
What if the problem in your sex life isn’t low libido… but the pressure, expectations, and conditioning you’ve been carrying for years? In this conversation, Erica shares how she spent years believing she was broken, trying everything from therapy to self-help advice to “fix” her lack of desire — only to discover that the real issue had far more to do with safety, pressure, and the scripts women a
Why “Meeting His Needs” Is Killing Your Desire - with Dr. Lori Brotto | Ep. 191
Why do so many women feel disconnected from sex—even in loving relationships? In this episode, we unpack the two core motivations behind intimacy: avoidance and approach. When sex is driven by pressure, obligation, or fear—like avoiding conflict, guilt, or rejection—it’s no surprise that desire fades. Yet, this pattern is so normalized that many women end up believing something is wrong with them,
Why Your Partner Isn’t Hearing You (Yet) - with Anthony | Ep. 190
Anthony shares his journey from defensiveness and disconnection to truly hearing his partner for the first time. Like many couples, they found themselves stuck in a cycle of repeating the same conversations, hoping something would finally click… but real change didn’t begin until willingness entered the picture.Anthony opens up about the moment he recognized how deeply his upbringing had shaped hi
Why Intercourse Doesn’t Feel Good for Many Women - with Anne | Ep.189
Why are we still defining sex in a way that doesn’t feel good for many women?In this eye-opening episode, my guest Anne and I challenge one of the most normalized (and harmful) beliefs about intimacy: that intercourse is the main event. Through Anne’s story, you’ll hear how cultural messaging, lack of real education, and silent expectations led to pain, confusion—and feeling broken.But this conver
6 Stories That Show You’re Not Alone in Your Sex Life Struggles | Ep. 188
I’ve been scratching my head for years trying to figure out how to help couples talk to each other about sex and share the helpful information on the podcast.I knew that a simple, non-threatening video was necessary for both men and women to be able to send to their partners to explain the basic concepts. I also knew that I needed to make the podcast accessible for newbies with an easy “start
Breaking the "Duty Sex" Cycle in Marriage - with Jo | Ep. 187
Jo shares her journey from confusion and pressure around sex to rediscovering connection, safety, and genuine pleasure with her husband.She opens up about:How cultural messaging shaped her relationship with sexThe hidden impact of “obligation” and silent pressure in long-term relationshipsThe turning point that helped her and her partner finally understand each otherWhy emotional safety—not techni
When You Feel You're the 'Broken One' in Your Relationship - with Liz | Ep. 186
Do you ever feel like you are the one with all the "baggage" in your relationship?This is exactly how Liz felt for years. In every category she looked- religious, cultural upbringing, and past life choices, she felt inferior to her spouse. To make up for the gap, she tried to be the “perfect” wife by providing her husband sex and keeping her body up even through four pregnancies. No surprise,
Mutual Vulnerability for a Better Sex Life | Ep. 185
When a couple can meet each other with non-judgmental empathy, it draws you closer to each other. Nobody is shamed, questioned or put down and it leads to a deeper intimacy.This is the power of mutual vulnerability and it’s one of the bedrocks of a healthy marriage (and sex life).But most people don’t do a very good job at it! (which makes sense- who taught us how???)In today’s podcast episode, my
Improving Gender Equality at Home - with author Kate Mangino | Ep. 184
In my work, I highlight the terrible things that gender inequality does to a couple’s sexual relationship but it extends far beyond the bedroom impacting connection, financial health, individual happiness, physical health, and, ultimately, relationship satisfaction.Which is why as soon as I finished the book, “Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home” by Kate Mangino, I knew I needed her
We Burned Our Sex Life Down & Built Something Better - with DeeDee | Ep. 183
After decades of quiet frustration in their sex life, DeeDee and her husband made a bold decision: they would burn their “traditional” sex life to the ground and rebuild something that actually worked for them.For most of her life, DeeDee struggled with low libido. It affected her relationships, her self-esteem, and especially her marriage. She tried everything—books, advice, and years of therapy—
Anxiety & Sex: What Men and Women Feel | Ep. 182
This episode provides an update on what Janna and her husband are working on in their sex life. Both talk about how anxiety affects their sexual experience in different ways. Janna shares her anxieties about:trying to have an orgasm and it not progressinggetting in her head about what “should” happen nextbeing worried about his experience and if he's "getting bored”Dwayne shares his anxieties abou
Navigating Sex Addiction as a Black Man - with Dr. Kervins Clement | Ep. 181
My podcast guest is Dr. Kervins Clement and his story is one that I hear about all the time- where a dependency on porn use and masturbation is justified as helping the relationship when, in fact, it often does the opposite. In this episode we explore:How Kervins’ own recovery shaped the way he now works with men and couples.What his research revealed about the role of culture and history in
RE-AIR: Details of a Sex Life Two Years Post Doing It Together - with Justin & Sandra | Ep. 180
We're re-releasing one of our most listened to episodes! If you’ve been curious about what the concepts of Doing It Together can do for your sex life and marriage in the long term, you'll want to listen to Justin and Sandra's story.Married for 19 years, they took Doing It Together two years ago and they graciously share VERY specific details about what their relationship and sex life look like now
Why Trying Harder Is Making Your Sex Life Worse | Ep. 179
There is no shortcut to heal from a toxic world that has tricked us into thinking sex is just a series of acts designed to physically stimulate us. The only way through is to slow down, unlearn and heal- not just for your marriage but for your well-being. It’s understanding safety, not just physically, but emotionally.It’s questioning the model of sex you were handed, instead of trying to per
For Men: How to Reduce Pressure for Better Sex - with Justin | Ep. 178
Justin joins me for a foundational episode in which we zoom out and discuss the role that men play when their wives have “low libido”. He starts off by sharing how he felt when his wife stopped wanting to have sex with him- the feelings of confusion and worrying if he had done something wrong.Then we take a journey through the unique ways men can contribute to a great sex life, how to create
Low Libido & Bad Sex- What Women Don't Say | Ep. 177
Many women I talk to struggle enjoying physical touch during sex. They don’t know their experience can be any other way so they continue trying to enjoy things they don’t like and then label themselves as “non-sexual”. In our conversation, my husband and I discuss:• why so many women push themselves to initiate or say yes even when their body is clearly uncomfortable • why discomfort is so of
The Power of a Sex Reset | Ep. 176
In today’s episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on one of the most important elements of moving towards freedom in your relationship and that is…a reset from sex.It’s something that you may have heard many times on the podcast in interviews with alumni of Doing It Together but it’s the first time I’ve addressed it directly.If you are tired of the mental energy sex is taking up in your life right
When Your Husband Wants Sex and You Feel Anxious | Ep. 175
Today on the podcast I recorded a short and sweet solo episode for you but really it’s a love-letter to my former self. Anxiety (just a different term for “fear”) is telling you something and if you are feeling it around sex, there is something to learn. And I promise you, it’s not that you are broken and that nothing will ever work. I used to believe that too but that thought will only keep you s
The Expectations for Sex on Special Occasions | Ep. 174
Since we’re headed into a time of the year where there may be some extra space as a couple, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about expectations around sex and special occasions. I know this happens more often with birthdays and vacations but it’s possible that in the lull between Christmas and New Years some pressure could creep in.In this short episode, we discuss why this happens,
Why Sex Often Doesn't Feel Good For Women | Ep. 173
The idea that men are so simple to please and women are a difficult maze of sensitive knobs and dials, often leaves female pleasure forgotten about.But what if something else was happening? What if our culture has only taught men and women about men’s bodies and pleasure? What if women’s genitals and orgasms felt impossibly difficult because we are all trying to approach them like men’s? This
When Talking About Sex is Difficult as a Couple | Ep. 172
Janna and her husband discuss the ins and outs of talking about sex as a couple- why so many people struggle with it, their personal challenges with communication, and what they're currently experimenting with to try to improve.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open f
Teaching Teens Consent - with Janna's daughter | Ep. 171
It’s been a dream of mine to be able to chat with my daughter on the podcast and get her take on some of the concepts we discuss here.In this episode, we touch on what she is learning in her class about consent and rape culture, her take on what’s happening in teen relationships, and a bit of advice for parents thinking about teaching consent to their own kids.Looking for where to start? Get Janna
Does Husband Hygiene Impact a Wife's Libido? | Ep. 170
Over the last 8 years Janna has specialized in helping women with low libido, she frequently hears them share about how difficult it is to talk with their husbands about personal hygiene.“My husband always has bad breath.”“I wish he would shave before coming to bed.”“Is it too much to ask to wear clean boxers?”In this episode, Janna and her husband, Dwayne, discuss the trends she's been seeing, th
How to Stop Feeling Emotionally Disconnected During Sex | Ep. 169
If you’ve ever felt emotionally disconnected during sex, you’re not alone. Janna and her husband Dwayne talk through the common reasons this can happen (for both men and women), how to recognize when you’re feeling out of sync, how to share that with your partner, and the steps you can take to make those moments feel more connected more often.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos fo
I'm Re-Married! My Personal Update | Ep. 168
Janna shares a major life update with her listeners and introduces a very special guest.In early October, she married her new partner, Dwayne. Together, Janna and Dwayne openly and courageously reflect on the past few years — including Janna’s divorce, how they met, and what sparked their connection.They also give listeners a candid look into their intimate life and explain how the principles of D
How Following the “Good Wife” Formula Led to a Nervous Breakdown - with Lisa (Part 2) | Ep. 167
Part 2 of Lisa’s story is a must-listen episode. She opens up about how decades of prioritizing her husband’s sexual needs while ignoring her own led to a nervous breakdown that affected her both physically and emotionally.Lisa believed she was doing the right thing—following the “marriage formula” and giving him what he needed to keep the peace and manage his moods. But deep down, her body was be
How a Lack of Guidance Creates Fear and Confusion Around Sex - with Lisa (Part 1) | Ep. 166
In Part 1 of Lisa’s story, she looks back on her youth and the awkward search for answers about sex and sexuality as a now 59-year-old woman. Her parents spoke in vague, confusing terms and never provided real context, which she found bizarre. The explanations she did receive made her body’s natural changes sound painful and frightening. While there was plenty of playground gossip, there was no re
What If I'm Not Attracted To My Husband? Plus More FAQ's | Ep. 165
Janna answers recent questions she's received about her program for couples, Doing It Together.Questions include:What if I don’t feel physically attracted to my husband?What is your opinion on sleep deprivation and sex drive?How do you rekindle connection if you didn't start with a lot of chemistry in the first place?What happens if my husband has decided he likes something during sex that I DONT?
Couples Share Their Unexpected Doing It Together Wins | Ep. 164
As the last round of Doing It Together came to a close, Janna and her team hosted one final Zoom call with all the couples. It wasn’t just a goodbye; it was a celebration of the journey they had taken together. At one point, Janna posed a simple but powerful question: “What’s been the most surprising thing you’ve discovered through this experience?”The answers that followed were nothing short of i
How to Decide if Doing It Together is the Right Next Step | Ep. 163
The doors to Doing It Together are open for the Oct/Nov round! In this episode, Janna goes over the program details, what couples can expect to learn, and how you can decide if Doing It Together is the right fit for your marriage.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open
IVF, Intimacy, and the Breaking Point That Changed Everything - with Reese | Ep. 162
In Part 2 of Reese’s episode, he opens up about the emotional rollercoaster of trying for children, including multiple rounds of IVF and the strain it placed on intimacy in his marriage. Disconnected from his feelings, he carried a lot of anger and tension, making everything feel heavy and difficult.After reaching a breaking point, Reese stumbled across Janna’s podcast during a late-night search.
Secrets, Screens, and the Struggle for Real Connection - with Reese | Ep. 161
Reese learned at a young age that secrets stay safe behind locked doors. When he discovered adult images online, what started as curiosity quickly turned into a regular habit—and soon, a strong screen addiction took hold.Over time, the influence of these images began shaping how he viewed relationships with women. He became fixated on unrealistic performance expectations, while true emotional conn
The Wake-Up Call That Changed His Marriage - with David (Part 2) | Ep. 160
In Part 2 of David’s story, he opens up about the early days of his marriage and the life event that triggered a sharp decline in their sex life. He remembers feeling lonely but not fully understanding why. Although he and his wife had many conversations about what she was experiencing, her perspective never quite clicked for him.That changed when she began listening to Janna’s podcast and finally
How a Psychotherapist Came to Understand His Own Intimacy Struggles - with David | Ep. 159
David, a Mexican American, grew up navigating the influence of two cultures—his Hispanic, Catholic upbringing and the American, white culture around him. He describes his Hispanic roots as warm, physical, and affectionate, yet completely silent when it came to conversations about sex. While his parents assured him he could talk to them about anything, the unspoken rule was clear: sex was a taboo t
Why Safety Matters More Than Libido - with Natalie | E. 158
When Natalie met her husband, they clicked instantly. After marriage, their sex life was good at first, but over time her desire began to fade. Things worsened after having kids—she describes her husband’s advances as “feeling like another need to fill.” He urged her to “fix” her low libido, but deep down, she knew it wasn’t her hormones that needed repairing. Something felt off, though she couldn
The Real Reason Sex Started to Feel Off - with John (Part 2) | Ep. 157
In Part 2 of John’s story, he shares how he met his wife online and how quickly their relationship progressed. They moved in together almost immediately, and he describes their sex life early on as “frequent, enjoyable, and exciting.” But over time, the honeymoon phase faded. Their sexual connection began to feel like something they should do, rather than something they wanted to do.Even though th
Exploring the Backlash of Performance Anxiety - with John | Ep. 156
As a teenager, John felt uneasy about the new sensations of arousal in his changing body. He wasn’t sure how to handle them, which led to persistent discomfort, performance anxiety, and awkward early attempts at intimacy with girls.During his university years, John moved past some of his self-doubt—but his behavior in relationships took a troubling turn. He describes feeling like he was “trying to
Healing The Secret Strain in a Picture-Perfect Marriage - with Andrea (Part 2) | Ep. 155
When Andrea met her husband, they shared an instant connection. She describes their early intimacy as “fun, easy, and pressure-free.” But after they got married, things began to shift. Sex became complicated, and Andrea started to wonder if something was wrong with her. She found herself checking the calendar, counting the days, and feeling her anxiety grow.On the outside, their relationship looke
Empowered or Objectified? 90's Girl Power Through Teen Eyes - with Andrea | Ep. 154
Andrea, now 37, grew up in the 1990s, shaped by the influence of pop icons like Britney Spears and the Spice Girls. Back then, “girl power” looked like tube tops, perfect hair, and using every ounce of energy to grab—and most importantly, keep—the attention of boys.As a teenager, Andrea poured her focus into chasing male approval. But when the attention finally came, and kissing or more was expect
A 20-Year Journey Through Painful Intimacy - with Shannon (Part 2) | Ep. 153
In Part 2 of her episode, Shannon opens up about the next chapter of her story. After meeting her husband, she eagerly took the lead in their relationship—from their first kiss to exploring intimacy together. Remaining a virgin until marriage was deeply important to her, so they waited until their wedding night to have intercourse.But the moment she had waited for her entire life turned out to be
From Purity Promises to Parenting With Truth - with Shannon (Part 1) | Ep. 152
Shannon grew up in a conservative Christian household during the 1990s, at the height of the purity culture movement. At just 14 years old, she signed a contract pledging to remain a virgin until marriage.Now, Shannon shares what she was taught during that time, how she navigated the strict “rules” meant to preserve her so-called purity, and how those experiences have shaped the way she now talks
Why You Don’t Know What You Like And How To Figure It Out - With Jess | Ep.151
Jess and her husband went through a slow but steady decline in intimacy, eventually reaching a point where they hadn't had sex for years. While her husband assumed she had no interest, Jess thought about it constantly—carrying deep feelings of shame and guilt. They never spoke about it, and Jess felt completely stuck, unsure of how to move forward.Then Jess discovered Janna’s podcast. She listened
What Happened to the Spark? A Journey Through Marriage, Motherhood, and MS - with Kate (Part 2) | Ep. 150
In the second part of Kate’s story, we discover what shifted in her marriage that caused her once-strong sexual desire to disappear—and why sex became a low priority in her relationship.When Kate started dating her future husband, she worried the passion might fade. But to her relief, it didn’t. Their sex life remained fun, exciting, and free of guilt. Everything changed, however, after they had c
Shame-Free Sexual Freedom, Then Something Changed - with Kate (Part 1) | Ep. 149
Kate’s story differs from many shared on this podcast. She was raised by atheist parents in a non-religious household. Although sex was never talked about, she educated herself by stealing books about sex from her grandmother’s library. In her 20’s, she was part of the slam poetry scene and she and her friends “slept around a lot” having fun and feeling completely free of shame or guilt. When
Details of a Sex Life Two Years Post Doing It Together - with Justin & Sandra | Ep. 148
If you’ve been curious about what the concepts of Doing It Together can do for your sex life and marriage in the long term, this is the episode for you! Justin and Sandra, married for 19 years, took Doing It Together two years ago and they graciously share VERY specific details about what their relationship and sex life look like now. They open up about how they’ve learned to talk, play, remain cu
Answering Questions From Men & Women About Doing It Together| Ep. 147
Janna answers questions she's received from men and women about her Doing It Together program.Questions include:• I’ve never had a sex drive—not even before marriage. Will this program help me?• My husband is a good guy. What if the problem really is just me?• What if I already tried therapy, supplements, hormones, books, scheduling sex… and nothing worked?• Is this the end of sex as I know it?• C
The Most Effective Way A Man Can Help His Wife With Low Libido - with Ryan (Part 2) | Ep. 146
In part two of Janna’s conversation with Ryan, he opens up about his decision to wait until marriage to have sex—a choice rooted in a desire to escape the guilt he’d carried for most of his life. While the experience was fine at first, their intimacy gradually faded. Over time, Ryan began to feel isolated and deeply unloved. Determined to fix their relationship, he turned to podcasts and books for
Growing up with God, Google & Guilt - with Ryan (Part 1) | Ep. 145
In Part 1 of Ryan’s story, he opens up about his early experiences learning about sex—lessons that came in crude form on the school bus, mixed messages from his Christian upbringing, and early exposure to internet pornography. This exposure led to an addiction that left him feeling trapped and overwhelmed with guilt. Ryan shares what it took for him to finally reach out for help, and the powerful
Overcoming Emotional Distance in Long-Term Marriage - with Bill | Ep. 144
At 62, Bill has been married to his wife for 32 years. They waited until marriage to become intimate, but soon after discovered she had endometriosis, a condition that made intercourse painful and unfulfilling. As a result, she began to withdraw—avoiding physical affection and emotional affirmation to steer clear of intimacy. Meanwhile, Bill deeply missed the emotional closeness they had shared du
How to Schedule Sex and Not Dread the Date - with Carey (Part 2) | Ep. 143
I’m continuing my powerful conversation with Carey from last week. If you haven’t heard that episode yet, I highly recommend going back to Episode 142 to catch up—she opened up so vulnerably about her 30-year marriage and the challenges she’s faced with intimacy over the years.In this episode, Carey shares how her entire understanding of sex has evolved, the hard truths she and her husband had to
How Early Messages About Sex Distort Intimacy in Marriage - with Carey (Part 1) | Ep. 142
In this honest and vulnerable two-part episode, Carey shares the hidden struggles she faced with intimacy throughout her 30-year marriage while raising seven children.At just nine years old, Carey was exposed to adult magazines that distorted her understanding of intimacy. By 13, she found herself in relationships where intimacy felt more like something expected of her than something she chose.Mar
REAIR: How Men Can Rethink Their Roles To Support Gender Equality - with author Michael Kaufman | Ep. 141
In this reair of Ep. 111, Janna chats with Michael Kaufman, the author of The Time Has Come: Why Men Must Join the Gender Equality Revolution. Michael, a renowned advisor, activist, and keynote speaker, shares his insights on how traditional male roles in the bedroom and beyond often don’t benefit women. They dive into why it's crucial for men to confront their own privilege and engage in open dia
Breaking Free from Decades of Pain and Pushing Through Intimacy - with Amy | Ep. 140
Romance novels promised Amy that her man would always know exactly what to do. The church assured her that sex would be wonderful once she was married. But when her first wedding night was filled with pain instead of pleasure, she was shocked.And the pain never went away. Over the course of her 30-year marriage, it evolved from undiagnosed endometriosis to rheumatoid arthritis to menopause. She fe
How to Overcome Fear to Have Honest Conversations With Kids About Sex - with Janna and her teammates | Ep. 139
One of the most common questions we get is: "How do I talk to my kids about sex?" In today’s episode, Janna sits down with her teammates, Melissa C. and Melissa W., to discuss how they approach these conversations with their kids, whose ages range from 6 to 21.They share stories from their own childhoods, reflecting on how they navigated these topics largely on their own, and the education they w
One Year Update After Taking Doing It Together - with Chris | Ep. 138
It’s been a year since Chris and his wife of 21 years took the Doing It Together course, and he’s here to give an honest update on how things are going.For two decades, Chris and his wife struggled with intimacy, trying everything they could think of to improve their connection. From counseling and self-help books to even participating in a university sex study, they explored every option. Despite
Why Low Libido Is a Couple’s Issue, Not Just Hers to Solve - with Luke | Ep. 137
Luke and his wife have been married for 25 years and have struggled with sex through most of that time. Things changed after kids and his wife experienced post-partum depression. Her libido plumeted and didn’t come back. Luke took the stance that this was her problem to solve and waited for years for her to 'fix' herself.It wasn’t until they found Janna and the Doing It Together program that Luke
Escaping the Constraints of Traditional Gender Roles in Marriage - with Jaime & Josh Fisher | Ep. 136
Janna discovered Jaime and Josh through their shared Instagram profile, @marriageishappening, and was so moved by their marriage story that she invited them to join her on the podcast.Married at 21 with four kids soon after, they initially adhered to traditional gender roles—Jaime stayed at home while Josh worked outside the house. Jaime, an extrovert, describes early parenthood as a time filled w
Are You Truly Listening to What Your Partner Is Saying? - with Keith (Part 2) | Ep. 135
Keith continues his story from Episode 134, diving deeper into his experience of starting the Doing It Together (DIT) program with his wife. Having gone through his own therapy, Keith thought he was way ahead of the game when he began DIT. However, he quickly realized the role he played in his relationship dynamic was much more complex than he had originally thought. In this episode, Keith shares
Breaking Free from the Traps of Tough-Guy Culture - with Keith (Part 1) | Ep. 134
In this two-part episode, Keith shares the first part of his story. Growing up as a child of color, Keith learned early on what was and wasn’t acceptable to express around his family and friends, especially the men and boys. While the women in his life supported his artistic side and sensitivity, Keith feared being labeled as weak or ridiculed by the men. His culture taught him that toughness and
Adventures in Online Dating, Faith, Betrayal & Low Desire - with Brandi | Ep. 133
In this enlightening episode, 40-year-old Brandi shares her inspiring journey of self-discovery and rekindled desire. Growing up in southern Utah within the Mormon faith, Brandi's sex education was rooted in the belief of abstinence until marriage. After her first marriage ended due to years of betrayal, she ventured into the eye-opening world of online dating before meeting her current husband.&n
Feeling Broken and Alone While Searching for Answers About Low Libido - with Kate | Ep. 132
Kate and her husband started out having what she describes as a great sex life. It felt exciting, easy and fun and her pleasure was easily accessible. As the years passed and life got more stressful and overwhelming, her desire plummeted. She couldn’t understand what happened. She started keeping a calendar to track how often they had sex and if too much time went by she would shame herself into d
Couples Share How Their Relationship Thrived by Doing It Together | Ep. 131
On the final day of the last round of Doing It Together, Janna and her team gathered all the husbands and wives for a farewell Zoom call. During this heartwarming session, she asked, "What’s been your most unexpected takeaway from this program?"The couples’ honest responses were deeply moving. After just eight weeks on their journey, they had already made remarkable progress in rekindling their in
The Doing It Together Team Answers Your Questions - with Janna, Melissa & Justin | Ep. 130
In this special episode, Janna talks with her coaching teammates, Justin and Melissa, about the upcoming round of Doing It Together, what couples can expect from the program, and common questions they are asked about low libido and sexual connection from both men and women.Justin and Melissa answer:What are men and women worried about when considering joining Doing It Together?What would you say t
Understanding Anxiety and Emotional Suppression in Men - with Kris | Ep. 129
From a young age, Kris learned to suppress his emotions and handle his feelings alone. His friends, family, and culture reinforced this mindset, showing him quick fixes for managing his growing anxiety, such as drinking alcohol, using drugs, or turning to adult entertainment. Over time, he became an expert at burying his emotions, but this came at a cost—dark moods, silence, and withdrawal from hi
Overcoming Years of Silent Tension & Unspoken Emotions - with Chloe | Ep. 128
Chloe and her husband, married for 12 years, struggled with their intimate relationship from the very beginning. However, they found it difficult to have honest conversations with each other. Both raised in Britain with the belief in keeping a “stiff upper lip,” discussing emotions or sensitive topics didn’t come naturally to them. Her husband’s moods often turned dark and tense, and Chloe learned
Tim's Journey from Confusion to Clarity in His 30-Year Marriage | Ep. 127
Tim and his wife have been married for 30 years. Their initial connection was deep and fulfilling, but once they got married, something changed. His wife began to touch him less and less, and Tim felt rejected and confused. This led to frequent arguments. After their three kids moved out, Tim hoped things would improve, but they didn’t. He fell into an emotional spiral, convincing himself that the
"I’m Too Young To Not Want Sex" - with Bri | Ep. 126
33-year-old Bri was convinced something was wrong with her. She hadn't been intimate with her husband in over two years, and their once passionate relationship had dwindled to a series of weekly arguments and frustrations on both sides. She was convinced she had low libido because she was too young to have lost interest in sex—what else could it be?After following Janna for several years, Bri and
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