Unraveling Me
Join host Kara Rubinstein Deyerin as she speaks with people impacted by NPEs (non-parental events), DNA surprises, adoption, assisted reproduction, or other unexpected information bombs that reveal the truth about their identity and family relationships. The podcast explores the myriad ways why knowing the truth about who you are and who your family is matters.
Episodes
S1E49 Unraveling Stephanie
S1 E49 - Unraveling Stephanie Stephanie’s story is about what happens when a lifelong search for roots finally begins. It is also a reminder that success does not always mean finding every answer. Sometimes it means discovering where you come from, building relationships along the way, and finding the courage to keep searching. Stephanie was adopted at three years old from a Mother Teresa orphanag
S1E48 Unraveling Thomas J
S1 E48 Unraveling Tom J Tom Junod has spent much of his career investigating other people’s lives. His profile of Fred Rogers inspired the film A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, and his essay The Falling Man became one of the most recognized pieces of writing about 9/11. But in his memoir, In the Days of My Youth I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man, Tom turns that investigative lens on his ow
S1E47 Unraveling MP
S1E47 Unraveling MP MP grew up feeling like the odd person out. He looked different from his brothers, struggled to connect with the man he believed was his father, and was repeatedly reminded that his interests, personality, and appearance did not fit the rest of his family. At 13, he unexpectedly learned that his parents had married after he was born. That first crack in the family story left h
S1E46 Unraveling Sheridan
S1 E46 – Unraveling Sheridan By 40, Sheridan believed she had already done the difficult work of understanding her childhood. The man named as her father on her birth certificate died by suicide when she was six, leaving her to grow up beneath the weight of grief, religious shame, unanswered questions, and the childhood belief that perhaps she had not been enough to make him stay. In her late
S1E45 Unraveling Matthew
S1 E45 - Unraveling Mathew Mathew grew up without a consistent father in his life. In 2013, he took a DNA test simply hoping to learn more about his ancestry. Eight years later, a Facebook message asking whether he was related to someone led him back to those results. His mother refused to tell him the truth. As Mathew built relationships with his new paternal family, his mother and much of his ma
S1E44 Unraveling Susan & Marci
S1 E44 – Unraveling Susan & Marci This episode is about living between worlds and eventually discovering that identity does not have to fit neatly into a single category. We can be fully connected to more than one culture, build families through both genetics and choice, and create a sense of home around the people who truly see us. Susan and Marci both grew up in white adoptive families, visi
S1E43 Unraveling Ashley
S1 E 43 – Unraveling Ashley Ashley grew up in what she describes as a hurricane—an unpredictable childhood shaped by physical and emotional abuse, fear, and the constant need to stay small and safe. As an adult, therapy helped her recognize just how unhealthy the family system had been, and she eventually made the difficult decision to cut contact and build a life that felt completely differ
S1E42 Unraveling Mary
S1 E 42 – Unraveling Mary - Mary always knew she was adopted. She grew up with loving parents, an adopted brother, and a younger sister, and while she was curious about where she came from, searching for her genetic family was something she could put off—until a comment from her young daughter made her see that the unanswered questions did not belong to her alone. That moment eventually set Mary
S1E41 Unraveling Ona, Nina, Christine & Sarah
S1 E41– Unraveling Ona, Nina, Christine, and Sarah This episode is a powerful reminder that family truth rarely lands evenly. One sibling may feel immediate joy while another needs distance. A parent may have been loving and present for one child while remaining absent, or causing profound harm, in another child’s life. A discovery can validate feelings carried since childhood while also creating
S1E40 Unraveling Dee
S1 E40 – Unraveling Dee - At 23, while grieving the death of the mother who raised her, Dee learned another life-changing truth: she was adopted. For her entire childhood and young adulthood, Dee had believed the story she was given. She never questioned whether she belonged to her family and had no reason to investigate what her parents told her. Suddenly, she was mourning her mother while
S1E39 Unraveling Priscilla & Bill
S1E39 – Unraveling Bill & Priscilla - This episode is a testament to persistence. Sometimes the truth takes decades, thousands of names, and one final piece of evidence to uncover—but being able to say “I know” instead of “I wonder” can bring a profound sense of peace. Bill was one of the earliest people to take a Y-DNA test, but for more than 20 years, one question remained unanswered: why di
S1E38 Unraveling Lynne
S1 E38 – Unraveling Lynne - Lynne’s story exposes what can happen when fertility practices operate through secrecy, misinformation, and little accountability. Her parents were told to treat their children as genetically their own and never speak of the circumstances surrounding their conception. But silence did not erase the truth. It left Lynne without an accurate medical history, a coherent und
S1E37 Unraveling Shelli
S1 E37 Unraveling Shelli - Shelli’s story is about surviving childhood without the care every child deserves, doing the hard work to become healthy, and learning that patience is sometimes part of protection. Shelli spent much of her childhood raising herself. She grew up with a mother who could be magnetic and beautiful to the outside world, but emotionally unavailable and rejecting at home. Her
S1E36 Unraveling Steve & Becky
S1 E36 Unraveling Steve & Becky - Steve and Becky’s story is raw, funny, painful, and almost unbelievable—except it is true and documented. Their book, DNA Did Not Anticipate, takes readers even deeper into the twists, losses, discoveries, and moments of healing that followed Steve’s DNA surprise. It is part memoir, part mystery, and part roadmap for anyone trying to make sense of a truth they
S1E35 Unraveling Michelle S
S1 E 35 Unraveling Micelle S - Michelle’s story is layered, funny, honest, and full of hard-earned wisdom. She shows us that adoption is not a single event, but something that shapes a person across a lifetime—in identity, relationships, parenting, advocacy, and healing. Michelle grew up knowing she was adopted, and by many measures, she had what people often call a “good adoption.” She was loved,
S1E34 Unraveling Jennie
S1 E34 Unraveling Jennie - Jennie’s story is about more than a DNA test. It is about secrecy, loyalty, medical truth, sibling connection, and the complicated grief of realizing that the people who loved you also kept something essential from you. Jennie took a DNA test because she wanted to know more about her father’s side of the family. Her dad had died of cancer when she was 23, and with her mo
S1E33 Unraveling Joesph & Charity
S1E33 Unraveling Joseph & Charity - Charity spent most of her life believing a painful story about her origins. Raised by her maternal grandparents after the death of her mother, she endured a childhood marked by abuse, silence, and the belief that searching for her father would only uncover more pain. For years, she was told she was conceived through violence and taught not to ask questions.
S1E32 Unraveling Melody
S1 E32 Melody: Melody took a DNA test for one reason: to search for the younger brother she had not seen since childhood who’d been relinquished to adoption. Instead, her results revealed a truth she never expected. Raised African American, Melody opened her DNA results and found close white relatives, no close matches on her mother’s side, and an ethnicity estimate that made no sense with the fa
S1E31 Unraveling Dr. Syb
S1E31 Unraveling Dr. Syb: Dr. Syb spent 42 years feeling like something didn’t fit. Then, at a family funeral, a cousin confirmed what her body, spirit, and intuition had long known: she had been adopted. Born during the Baby Scoop Era and raised in a same-race domestic adoption, Dr. Syb grew up in a loving family—but one built around a secret she was expected to carry quietly once the truth came
S1E30 Unraveling Nick
S1 E 30 Unraveling Nick Nick was supposed to receive a DNA test for his birthday, but his parents asked that the gift be delayed. The next day, they sat him down and told him the results might reveal something unexpected. What followed led Nick to a truth he never imagined. Through both his book Inconceivably Connected and the "Inconceivably Connected Podcast", Nick has transformed his own d
S1E29 Unraveling Monica H
S1 E 29 Unraveling Monica H Monica was adopted as an infant and raised in Alaska rough-and-tumble 1970s oil boom in a home where much was left unbroken. From early on, she learned to navigate instability, dysfunction, and sexual, emotional, and physical abuse – without the language or support to make sense of it. At 15 after experiencing a sexual assault, Monica became pregnant and was pressured
S1E28 Unraveling Maria
S1 E28 Unraveling Maria In this wide-ranging and deeply insightful conversation, Kara and Maria explore what happens when personal discovery intersects with law, ethics, culture, and belonging. Maria was 53 years old, standing in her kitchen, when a DNA test result upended everything she thought she knew about her identity.Raised in a deeply Catholic family, with a Filipino immigrant mother and an
S1E27 Unraveling Aaron & Jess
S1 E27 Unraveling Aaron & Jess In this thoughtful and often funny conversation, Kara, Aaron, and Jess explore what happened when a long-abstract donor relationship became real—and how that reality slowly reshaped all of their lives. What begins as a donor-conception story becomes something much more unexpected: a conversation about the many ways family can take shape. Years after choosing an u
S1E26 Unraveling Amanda
S1 E25 - Unraveling Amanda - Amanda speaks with honesty, perspective, and compassion—for herself, her parents, and the complexity of the choices made long before she had a voice in them. In this thoughtful and deeply reflective conversation, Kara and Amanda explore what it means to carry a truth for years, sometimes quietly, sometimes in pieces, and what it takes to finally live openly inside it.
S1E25 Unraveling Lisa
S1 E25 - Unraveling Lisa - Lisa took a DNA test out of curiosity: something light, something fun. But when her results came back, they didn’t just surprise her. They unraveled everything she thought she knew about who she was. In this conversation, Lisa shares how a single test led her to uncover donor conception, connect with a half-brother, and rethink the meaning of family, culture, and self. R
S1E24 Unraveling Monica
S1 E24 Unraveling Monica B - In this powerful and deeply human conversation, Kara and Monica explore how meaning can emerge even from the most chaotic beginnings. Monica’s story begins with a series of events so unlikely they almost feel fictional—until they lead to a life-altering truth. After her father’s sudden death, Monica found herself entangled in an unbelievable web with the FBI, her famil
S1E23 Unraveling Donna
S1 E23 - Unraveling Donna - In this powerful conversation, Kara and Donna explore what it means to survive a traumatic upbringing, uncover a hidden genetic story, and rebuild a life rooted in truth. Donna speaks with honesty, grit, and hard-won clarity. She does not soften the truth of what she lived through, but she also makes space for joy, connection, and healing. Her story is a reminder that t
S1E22 Unraveling Randi, Kirk & Athena
S1 E22 - Unraveling Kirk and Randi - In this episode, Randi and Kirk share their deeply human, nonlinear journey of welcoming Kirk’s newly discovered daughter, Athena, into their family. What began as a destabilizing revelation became an ongoing process of reckoning, repair, growth, and choice.At its heart, this episode is about commitment—the kind that says: we will face this together. We will m
S1E21 Unraveling Diana
S1 E21 - Unraveling Diana - Diana speaks candidly about identity, secrecy, and the emotional toll of discovering that official records cannot always be trusted. Her journey spans continents, generations, and legal gray zones. And yet, through genealogy work, writing her book Connected: Finding My Truth, and helping others uncover hidden histories, Diana has transformed her pain into purpose.Diana
S1E20 Unraveling Angie
S1 E20 - Unraveling Angie - In this candid and emotionally layered conversation, Kara and Angie explore what it means to live between bravery and fear, loyalty and longing, compassion and grief. Angie was a seasoned mental health therapist, international wellness presenter, and expert in stress management when she did the very thing she tells her clients not to do—she ignored the truth. After taki
S1E19 Unraveling Linda
S1 E 19 - Unraveling Linda Linda speaks candidly about fear, obligation, guilt, and the slow unraveling required to rebuild a life rooted in truth. Her story is about reclaiming agency after manipulation, breaking generational silence, and choosing to breathe again after everything falls apart. This episode is a testament to resilience, discernment, and the courage it takes to say: My story belong
S1E18 Unraveling Andrea
Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we lea
S1E17 Unraveling Melanie
1E17 – Unraveling Melanie - This episode is a powerful reflection on identity, race, motherhood, and resilience—and on what it takes to keep going, even when the road home is one you have to build yourself.Melanie was adopted at birth into a white, religious family in the segregated American South. Raised as a transracial adoptee in a household shaped by silence, fear, and rigid expectations, she
S1E16 Unraveling Cassandra
S1 E16 – Unraveling Cassandra - This episode is a powerful meditation on truth, belonging, and the slow work of integration. She reminds us that identity isn’t rebuilt overnight—and that learning who you are is often a lifelong process, especially when the truth arrives after everything else is already in motion.Cassandra’s story begins on what she calls her “re-birthday”—the night a DNA test reve
S1E15 Unraveling Athena
S1E15 Unraveling Athena - This is a story about identity, patience, accountability, and what can happen when honesty finally replaces silence. Athena’s journey is a reminder that rejection doesn’t always get the final word—and that healing can unfold slowly, imperfectly, and still be real. Athena grew up without a father, raised by a single mother who told her the truth early on: she didn’t know w
Unraveling Me Special Edition
UM Special Edition – When Adoption Is Framed as a Solution - This conversation is not about debating politics. It is about lived experience, accuracy, and accountability. It centers the voices of those most affected by adoption—and asks what the public deserves to understand when adoption is elevated during moments of national influence.SHOW NOTES: A Super Bowl commercial titled Adoption
S1E14 Unraveling Bryan
S1 E14 Bryan - This episode is a deep dive into the science of stress, identity, and connection—and a compassionate challenge to rethink how we parent, partner, and relate. Bryan grew up adopted in Oklahoma, raised in a home shaped by love, trauma, and silence—where no one yet had the language to understand how early separation, in-utero experiences, and generational stress shape a child’s nervous
S1E13 Unraveling Jennifer
S1E13 Unraveling Jennifer - This is a story about identity, betrayal, resilience, and the hard-earned strength it takes to break cycles—especially when the people who caused the harm refuse to own it. Jennifer’s honesty is fierce, her humor is sharp, and her perspective is a lifeline for anyone who’s had a long-held secret kept from them. Jennifer thought she was taking a DNA test “for fun”—a si
S1E12 Unraveling Brenna
S1E12 Unraveling Brenna - Brenna’s story shows that unraveling doesn’t always begin with discovery. Sometimes it begins years earlier, in care, conflict, and quiet endurance, so that when the truth finally arrives, you’re prepared to hold it. Brenna was 54 years old, married, and raising two children when her mother, who had been living with dementia and in Brenna’s care for years, revealed a life
S1E11 Unraveling Laura & DNAngels
S1E11 - Unraveling Laura & DNAngels - This is a story about identity, truth, secrecy, grief, and grit. It’s about what happens when one woman refuses to stay in the dark—and builds an entire movement to help thousands of others step into the light. Laura never set out to shake up the world of DNA surprises. In 2017, she just wanted to build a legacy tree for her grandchildren. As a longti
S1E10 Unraveling Renee
S1 E10 Unraveling Renee - This episode is about truth-telling, family preservation, and what happens when we finally look critically at systems built on silence. Renee speaks candidly about the emotional toll of relinquishment, the lifelong consequences of secrecy, and the uncomfortable truths many would rather avoid. Her story challenges the dominant narrative of adoption as a simple good and ask
S1E9 Unraveling Lorenzo
S1E9 Unraveling Lorenzo: Lorenzo’s story highlights how DNA discoveries are rarely a single moment—they unfold over time, intersecting with grief, loss, and major life transitions. His experience speaks to the complexity of identity when ethnicity, culture, genetics, and family narrative collide. Lorenzo’s journey began with concern for his father’s rapidly declining health. Dementia, neurological
S1E8 Unraveling Lauren
Unraveling Lauren: This is a story about identity, truth-telling, and what happens when the missing piece of your story finally comes into focus. Lauren brings humor, honesty, and hard-won clarity to a journey many donor-conceived people will recognize—but everyone can relate to.Lauren LoGiudice grew up in a loud, loving Italian-American family: tall, lanky, pale, and unexplainably not Italian-loo
S1E7 Unraveling Marcie
S1E7 – Unraveling Marcie - This episode is a profound look at identity, secrecy, reunion, and the lifelong impact of being denied your own information. Marcie’s story shows that unraveling can happen at any age, and that even those who’ve spent a lifetime helping others make sense of their origins can still be blindsided by their own. Her journey is a reminder that identity is not a fixed thing—it
S1E6 Unraveling Lauren
S1 E6 - Unraveling Lauren C - Lauren’s story is a reminder that family trees aren’t just diagrams—they’re living, shifting truths. And sometimes the truth has been whispering to us for years before we finally hear it. Lauren had been building her family tree since 1977. Cemeteries, phone calls, interviews, handwritten charts, decades of work, 68,000 names, and the belief that she knew exactly wher
S1E5 Unraveling Mark
S1 E5 – Mark Hansen - Mark’s story sits at the intersection of fertility fraud, misattributed parentage, and the long-term trauma caused by secrecy. It is raw, candid, and deeply human. This episode is about truth-telling, consent, identity, and the lifelong impact of what happens when people in power make choices without it. And how you can turn your pain into power. Mark was 47 years old, sitti
S1E4 Unraveling Oliver & Melissa
S1E4 - Unraveling Oliver: This episode is about adoption, silence, identity, and the long interior journey many adoptees walk before saying their questions out loud. Oliver’s story is gentle, thoughtful, and profoundly human—a reminder that even truths revealed late in life still deserve space, compassion, and voice. Oliver grew up in a Dutch Indonesian family, surrounded by people who looked just
S1E3 Unraveling Bruce
S1E3 – Unraveling Bruce: Bruce’s story is raw, honest, and deeply human. It reveals the long shadow that secrecy casts—and the resilience required to rebuild identity at any age. This episode is about race, truth-telling, and the quiet survival strategies a child learns when the world insists he is something he cannot understand. And it is a testament to what can happen when, even late in life, we
S1E2 Unraveling Jodi
S1E2 Unraveling Jodi - Kara’s first guest is Jodi, her “opposite twin” in the DNA surprise world. Raised in a tiny Midwestern farm town as the only person of color in her community, Jodi spent her childhood trying to be perfect so no one would notice how different she looked. At 45, a half-price DNA test confirmed what her mirror had been whispering for decades—and upended everything she thought s
S1E1 Unraveling ME
THE BLURB: Kara grew up believing she was half Black but learned she was actually half Jewish instead. Jodi, by contrast, grew up believing she was 100% Black only to learn she was 50% Black and 50% Ashkenazi Jew. How does one wrap one's mind around a radical re-imagining of who one is and where one came from? And why is it such a legal struggle to learn these truths about ourselves?SHOW NOTESEver
Unraveling Me: A Quick Intro
Join host Kara Rubinstein Deyerin as she speaks with people who, like her, are impacted by NPE's (non-parental events), DNA surprises, adoption, assisted reproduction, or other unexpected information bombs that reveal the truth about who they are and their family relationships and secrets. As anyone who's ever experienced such an event can tell you, it separates you from you. From knowing your own
Recommended
True Crime Classics
The Healer Revolution
Becoming: HER with Nikki Spoelstra
Booked, Blonde & Busy w/ Olivia Ponton
McKinsey on Consumer and Retail
megahired.com
Hard Knocks Podcast
Effective Weight Loss for Moms | High protein, Strength Training, Lose Weight, Meal Planning, Fat Loss, Healthy Habits
The Human-Animal Connection - Pet Life Radio Original
Infinite Health with Dr. Arasi Maran
The Daily
World News Tonight with David Muir
