A Love Language Minute
A Love Language Minute draws from Dr. Gary Chapman's years of counseling experience, excerpts from his live events, and his answers to listeners' questions to give encouragement and practical help and hope for the relationships in your life.
Episodes
Hidden Vices
You've discovered that your husband has been using drugs and gambling. Now what? Confront your husband with tough love. Let him know that you love him too much to allow this to go on. Seek counseling for him if he's willing.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Love flows from God
It's amazing that God would want to have a relationship with us! God expresses His love for us in our own love language so that we'll know in our hearts that He loves us.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Prayer as a Communication Tool
Prayer is an effective communication tool in a marriage. When married couples pray together, they're drawn more closely to each other and to God.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Stop Preaching and Start Teaching
When your child becomes a teenager, it's time to stop preaching and start teaching. Teach your teen in a conversational style because it's much more effective than preaching at them. Preaching at your teen will drive them to go elsewhere for advice.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Why Some Long-term Dating Relationships Fail
A long-term dating relationship may fail. Why?, because the "in love" feelings wear off. Dating couples should learn to speak each other's love language in order to keep their love alive.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Abuser Blames the Abused
Domestic abusers often blame their spouse. Scripture teaches us to love our enemies. However, love can be expressed by saying "I love you too much to allow you to continue this abuse". Move out if necessary until the abuser gets their anger under control.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Learn Your Child's Love Language
Listen to your child's requests, and you'll discover their love language.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Overcoming Barriers in Communication
If you're frustrated about the lack of good communication with your spouse, ask them if they would be willing to read a book with you about how you can improve communication between the two of you.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Long-distance Relationship Challenges
What do you do when your husband's love language is physical touch but he's currently deployed? Look for creative ways to give an emotional touch while apart.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Learning Your Child's Love Language
How do you learn your child's love language? - observe how they express love to others. Children love others in the language they wish to receive.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Barriers to Good Communication
When one spouse talks all the time and the other spouse rarely talks, good communication won't happen. Listening to each other is just as important as talking.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Goals in Parenting
One of the most important goals in parenting is to make sure your children grow up feeling loved. If your children are secure in your love, they'll be far more responsive to your teaching and training.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
When Your Child Drives You Crazy
Your child drives you crazy. What can you do? The very first thing you can do is make sure they feel loved. The only way they'll feel loved is if you show them love in their own love language.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
When Your Spouse Makes Comments About Other Good-looking Women
It's not appropriate for a husband to make comments about other beautiful women in front of you. Remind him that he's married to you and his attention should be focused on you.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
You Can't Treat All Your Children the Same
What makes one child feel loved doesn't necessarily make the other child feel loved. Each one has an emotional love tank. One has a larger or smaller tank one than the other. Spend the appropriate amount of time to fill each love tank to the brim.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Barriers to Communication
If communication between spouses is practically nonexistent, make an effort to talk to your spouse about things they're interested in. Often times, they'll begin to open up.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Teaching Children Obedience
How do you teach your child obedience? State the rules clearly, and explain the consequences clearly. Then, in kindness and firmness, administer the consequences.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
A Growing Marriage While Apart
Having a growing marriage is extremely difficult when their work requires being separated for long periods of time.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Premarital Sex
Will premarital sex help a couple in the dating phase of their relationship? NO. If either of them breaks off the relationship, they'll be left with extreme emotional pain and guilt.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Walking Out
When Christian couples walk out on each other, it stems from one of three problems: 1. Lack of an intimate relationship with God; 2. Lack of an intimate relationship with your spouse; or 3. Lack of an intimate understanding and acceptance of one's self.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Barriers to Communication
You waste your energy when you argue, trying to convince the other person that you're right and they're wrong. That will never work. Instead, try to find some middle ground where you both can agree.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Quality Time With Your Teen
In this busy world, many parent find it difficult to spend quality time with their teenagers. Without focused attention, a teenager experiences increased anxiety because they feel everything else is more important that they are. That leaves their love tank empty.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Apologizing
When your spouse refuses to apologize, it makes it difficult to deal with the hurt. The Bible teaches that when someone sins against you, confront them. If they repent, forgive them.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Living Together Before Getting Married
Couples that live together before getting married are no better prepared for marriage than those who did not. In fact, their divorce rate is even higher.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Separation and Divorce
Separation doesn't necessarily lead to divorce. Separation forces us to admit we have serious problems. When we examine divorce, we realize that divorce doesn't solve anything. In fact, it creates more problems. The best of our options is to seek reconciliation.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Barriers to Communication
Since every married couple has different thoughts and feelings, there will be barriers to good communication. The best way to break down those barriers is to Listen!Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Memories of Premarital Sex
What can you do if you're married but can't get rid of the memories of your premarital sex? Confess your past sin to God and your wife, then picture the blood of Christ flowing over your sin and hiding it from your sight.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Alcohol Addiction
It's not unusual for a spouse to be an alcoholic but doesn't think they have a problem. Are you in this situation? Choose to show them your tender love. At the same time, you can exercise tough love by insisting on seeking out good counseling.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Does Separation Equal Divorce?
Does Separation equal Divorce? Not necessarily. Separation can be a time of tremendous growth. Take this time to consider the choices and actions that caused your separation and choose to make the necessary changes. With God's help, this might lead to reconciliation instead of divorce.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy in
Communication in Marriage
Listening is the key to good communication. If you listen to your spouse and try to understand their thoughts and feelings, your marriage will thrive.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Silent Spouse
If you have a silent husband, have you ever wondered why? If you're quick to criticize his ideas, he might just shut down. Your criticism will strike at the heart of his self esteem.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Obstacles to Getting Married
You and your fiancé want to get married and are applying for grad school. This might pose some challenges to your marriage. Dr. Gary Chapman recommends postponing your marriage until you both accomplish your academic goals.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Products of Divorce
Are you and your spouse the products of divorce? Having experienced growing up in a home where your parents divorced, your goal should be to never put your own children in that same situation. The key is to get a clear picture of what a healthy family looks like.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Person of Value
Behind every verbally abusive tongue is a person of value. If you can focus on their worth rather than on their abuse, perhaps you can be God's instrument to bring healing.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Intimacy in Marriage
There's something about the way we're made that cries out for intimacy. God designed marriage to be the most intimate of all human relationships.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Verbal Abuse
Those who verbally abuse their spouse are saying more about their own needs rather than their spouse's character.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Fireworks in Your Marriage
Are there fireworks in your marriage - the fireworks of romantic love? When you speak your spouse's love language, you'll touch their heart.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The Way of Love
Our mission is to make disciples. The best method to use is to love them.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Communicating With a Past Girlfriend
If you're married, it's never wise to try to reconnect with your past girlfriends. You'll be jeopardizing the commitment you made to your spouse.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Music Takes Me Back
We often connect past relationships to the music of that era. If you're married now, it's probably wise not to listen to that music any more. Then you probably won't relive those memories and be drawn away from your spouse.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Confession Before Forgiveness
Confession should ideally precede forgiveness. But if someone has sinned against you and has never confessed, ask God to help you forgive them anyway. This will allow you to rid yourself of the sin of bitterness.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
He Says You're Not Attractive
It's deeply hurtful for a husband to tells his wife that she's not attractive. His unkind comments are more than physical - they're emotional. Ask him if he feels loved by you. Learn his love language to connect more deeply with him.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Intimacy
Intimacy is at the very heart of a growing marriage. God designed marriage to be the most intimate of all human relationships. What are you doing to build intimacy in your marriage?Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Improving Your Marriage
Are you attempting to improve your marriage by trying to change your spouse? Matthew chapter 7 tells us not to judge others. Examine yourself and see if YOU are the one who needs to change.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Language of Friendship
The most common complaint of singles is that they are lonely. God didn't design us to live in isolation. Intimacy is one our deepest needs. If you're single, invest your time with others. It's the language of friendship.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Gaining Trust
Your girlfriend has trouble trusting men. How can you convince her that she can trust you? You can't convince her to trust you. What you can do is be trustworthy.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Quality Time From a Distance
A military couple's love language is quality time. How can they express their love while one spouse is deployed? Today's technology enables them to communicate electronically. So call often!Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Selfishness
Selfishness is the greatest barrier to marital unity. If we're honest with ourselves, we're all afflicted with the disease of selfishness. Selfishness is a product of our fallen nature. But as a Christian, we've been given a new nature.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Asking For Input
If you don't get good results from doing a task but you don't ask for input from someone you trust, you won't improve or grow. You'll always win when you ask for input.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
They Won't Talk
Communication is the lifeline for a growing marriage. So what do you do when your spouse won't talk? Don't condemn them. Instead, ask them questions about a topic they're interested in.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Seminars for Married Couples
Dr. Gary Chapman's seminars aren't only for married couples. Engaged couples and even single adults attend as well.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Messy Spouse
Which kind of person are you - messy or a neat freak? This can lead to tremendous frustration within a relationship. Make requests for change, not demands. Love accepts many imperfections - the things that one can not or will not change.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
When Your Child Moves Back Home
What is the loving thing to do when your adult child moves back home? Establish time limits to their stay. Formulate a financial agreement. Respect the need for privacy.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Learning Communication Skills Early
The process of getting to know each other in a dating relationship requires that there be lots of communication. If one struggles to communicate, begin to develop good communication skills early on.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Small Goals are Better Than No Goals
It's not uncommon for adult children to move back home. Meet with your child and find out what their plans are moving forward. What is their exit plan. Approach the plan step by step. Setting small goals is better than no goals at all.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Common Love Languages
The five love languages are dispersed relatively evenly between men and women. The important thing is for you to learn the primary love language of your spouse.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Age Differences
Can a wide age gap pose a problem in marrying someone? It depends on the gap. The older both individuals are, the more likely it is for the marriage to work.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The Boomerang Generation
The boomerang generation - it's when your older children leave but then move back home. This can be very challenging for the parents. Don't be afraid to talk to other parents who can share with you how they were able to handle it.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Political Issues
How can you have healthy Interactions with others on political issues? The very first step is to listen to them without being judgmental and ask them questions. Then ask them if they're willing to hear your side.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Get the Facts
When you're angry, be sure to get all the facts before you take action. It's easy to jump to conclusion about what someone did or said. Ask questions and make sure you understand all the facts.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Knowing Past Secrets
How important is it to know all the secrets of your spouse's past? Be sensitive and don't force him to share thing he doesn't want to share. If God has forgiven him, allow him to choose the things about which he's willing to share.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Do I Need to Get a Blessing?
How important is it to get your future in-law's blessing before marrying their daughter? It's definitely ideal. Take time to honestly consider the areas of their concern and admit that they might be right. In the end, you don't always have to base your decision on the blessing of your potential in-laws.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/liste
Positive Steps Toward Dealing With Anger
Taking positive steps toward dealing with anger is essential. God can use our anger in a positive way if you're willing to admit that you're angry, confront the person who's wronged you, then seek reconciliation.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Where am I Failing?
We find it easy to point out the negative areas in others, but struggle to point out any of our own. The Bible instructs us to remove the log in our own eye before trying to remove the speck in someone else's eye.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Is This a Good Time to Talk?
Anger between families members is not uncommon. Don't let it fester. Instead, ask the person with whom you're angry if it's a good time to talk. Get it out in the open, and agree to find a solution to the problem in an agreeable and positive way.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
I'm Not Good Enough
It's very discouraging when your in-laws don't think you're good enough for their daughter. The best approach is to focus on being the person your wife needs you to be. Perhaps in the future, your in-laws may change their minds about you.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Bringing Back the Spark
How can you bring the spark back into your marriage? The best way is to learn to speak your spouse's love language, and do it consistently.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Anger Was Meant to be a Visitor
We get angry when our sense of right is violated. Share your anger with someone in a positive manner, then let it go. Anger was never meant to move in permanently - it should only be a visitor.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Helping Your Spouse Succeed
Most of us are self-centered. We strive to achieve our goals but often lose our marriages in the process. If we aim to build our marriages while at the same time building our careers, both spouses win.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The Last Time You Felt Angry
Many Christians pride themselves in holding back their anger; but internalizing anger is very unhealthy. The Biblical challenge is that when we experience anger, we are to process it in a positive way.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
What Does "In Love" Mean?
What does "in love" mean? The word love means many things to many people. Feeling "in love" means exactly that - a feeling. Feeling "in love" doesn't necessarily mean you should marry that person.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Winning Back Your Girlfriend
How can you win back your girlfriend after a breakup? You can make an effort to win her back, but you can't make her love you. Be prepared to accept that your relationship is over, then trust God to bring along someone who's best for you.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Make it Happen
Why is it that raising children seems to keep you from maintaining a growing marriage? Maybe it's because you haven't managed your time well. Be intentional about scheduling time with your spouse.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Excuses for an Affair
Do you or your spouse make excuses for having an affair? Remind yourself that your marriage is a covenant with your spouse. The responsibility rests upon both you to confront, repent and restore your marriage.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Put It On Your Schedule
Do you feel you have enough time to invest in your marriage and your parenting? Yes! The problem isn't time; it's how you schedule your time.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Speak My Love Language
How do you get your boyfriend to speak your love language - words of affirmation? You can't make someone speak your love language, but you can influence them by speaking to them in their love language.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Past Physical Relationships
Should you be concerned about your fiancé's past physical relationships with other women? Absolutely. Typically, if someone is sexually involved before marriage, the probability of straying sexually after marriage is quite high.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Marriage or Parenting
Which is the greater priority - marriage or parenting? The truth is, they are both priorities. You'll regret it if you neglect either one.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Reconnecting With Past Girlfriend
Your husband has reconnected with a past girlfriend. This naturally brings back strong feelings. But remember, a marriage requires that we leave the past behind and focus on the deep bond that a marital union is meant to have.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Cultivating the Relationship
How do you keep your marriage alive now that your children have arrived? Children are a blessing from God, but children can also cause marital neglect. If you see your marriage drifting apart because you're consumed with raising your children, it's time to make a course correction.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy inform
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