Morning Announcements
Morning Announcements is your daily news rundown from Betches News--because the world’s a mess, and someone’s gotta explain it. Every morning, Betches co-founder and host Sami Sage cuts through the chaos to break down what actually matters, one unhinged headline at a time. All in under 10 minutes, so you can stay informed without spiraling.
Episodes
Wednesday, October 14th, 2026 - Guilfoyle Fired, OpenAI Got Bugged, Pope Leo Has Lung Cancer
Today's Headlines: Kimberly Guilfoyle resigned as US ambassador to Greece after her grifting became too public to ignore, announced by new White House press secretary Katie Zacharia during her first briefing — which lasted 14 minutes, eight of which she spent reading from a script, and within 48 hours it emerged she claimed to have passed the bar in China, where noncitizens aren't allowed to take
Tuesday, October 13th, 2026 - DHS Raids Ilhan Omar, Elon's Tries To Buy Midterms, Pro-Collins PAC Bought Ads in Wrong Portland
Today's Headlines: DHS raided Ilhan Omar's home as part of a criminal investigation into alleged immigration fraud in her family's paperwork, Trump told reporters he had "nothing to do with it" and it's "really up to the DOJ," which is what he says about all his revenge prosecutions. Meanwhile, a federal judge ordered the Trump administration to stop cutting down trees at East Potomac for Trump's
Monday, October 12th, 2026 - Trump's Illegal Russian Oil Deal, Houthi Saudi Strikes Kill 13, Guilfoyle On The Chopping Block
Today's Headlines: Here’s what you may have missed over the weekend: Trump announced a deal to lift sanctions on Russian oil and import it — violating a law Congress passed 100-0 in 2022 banning Russian energy imports — calling it an "energy ceasefire" that Ukraine, which is actively hitting Russia's oil refineries, was not part of and wasn't told about. Zelensky called it "not fair and not honest
Friday, October 9th, 2026 - Trump Skips Iran Strike, Hegseth Will Livestream Execution, Guilfoyle's $100K Amex Scheme
Today's Headlines: To end the week, Trump decided not to strike Iran before the November 3rd midterms, primarily because high gas prices are already threatening to cost Republicans one or both chambers of Congress. Trump declared anyone using the term "artificial intelligence" instead of "super intelligence" to be "THE ENEMY," while the White House continues using "AI" on its own website, and hand
Thursday, October 8th, 2026 - Voting Machine Seizure Plans, Trump Advisers Aid Putin's Allies, Paxton Trashes Trump
Today's Headlines: Pardoned election denier Tina Peters met with Trump at the White House to discuss how Howard Lutnick could legally seize voting machines before the midterms, it remains a mystery why she was even pardoned by democratic governor, Jared polis. Trump also told reporters he "could have done very bad things" to Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, and Barack Obama but chose not to out of resp
Wednesday, October 7th, 2026 - Trump: Let Iran Take Out LA, ICE Detained 500 US Citizens, Measles Hits 30-Year State Record
Today's Headlines: Another day of mad king things. Trump told a Nebraska rally crowd to "let them take out Los Angeles, let them take out San Diego," suggesting Iran could destroy two major American cities and that high gas prices are "a small price to pay" — California Governor Newsom responded by calling for the 25th Amendment. Meanwhile, Marco Rubio unveiled a new standard US passport design fe
Tuesday, October 6th, 2026 - Bolsonaro’s Son Wins, Cornell Seven Update, Starbucks Lied About Sugar
Today's Headlines: We’re starting today with news out of Brazil. Flavio Bolsonaro — son of coup-attempting former president Jair, who is currently serving 27 years in prison — won Brazil's presidential election in a shocking first-round victory over progressive incumbent Lula, with four Bolsonaro family members also in Congress, which is hopefully not a preview of anything. In recall news, Nestlé
Monday, October 5th, 2026 - Russian Plague Death, Epstein Whistleblower Dead, Trump Doxxed Tom Cotton, Anthropic Lobbied the Vatican
Today's Headlines: This weekend has brought a lot, some would say too much, disturbing news. A lab worker at an anti-plague research institute in Siberia died after breaking a test tube containing pneumonic plague, with around 200 people placed under medical observation and several hospitals under quarantine — and yes, Kash Patel's Russia trip is coming up soon, which is a fun coincidence. Speakin
Friday, October 2nd, 2026 - Trump's Insurrection Act Threat, Letitia James Takes Cornell, US Tourism Tanks
Today's Headlines: Trump told TIME he won't rule out invoking the Insurrection Act around the midterm elections, threatened to "annihilate" Iran again, and expressed enthusiasm for data centers — while separately telling reporters that Iran was probably behind the pilot stabbing on the FlyDubai flight and that if confirmed, "Iran will be hit very hard, don't worry." A third aircraft carrier and 9,
Thursday, October 1st, 2026 - FlyDubai Near-Hijacking, Hegseth's State of the Force Rant, Trump's Sketchy Midterm $500 Checks
Today's Headlines: A FlyDubai pilot stabbed his co-pilot mid-flight, the plane nosedived 17,000 feet in under two minutes, and six passengers stormed the cockpit to overpower him before an emergency landing in Saudi Arabia. In adjacent news, the UK confirmed "strong indications" that Iran was behind last weekend's suspected bomb plot at the military base used by the US during the Iran war, which I
Wednesday, September 30th, 2026 - Jack Smith's Botched Hearing, SCOTUS OKs Third Country Deportations, Cornell Scandal Deepens
Today's Headlines: Republicans dragged Jack Smith back to Congress to testify about his Trump investigations, tried to catch him in a lie about attending a basketball game, and got the team name wrong — so he wasn't even at the game they accused him of attending, which is a new low for congressional gotcha moments. Meanwhile, Trump is personally handpicking the taxpayer-funded TV ads praising hims
Tuesday, September 29th, 2026 - Trump's Taxpayer-Funded “PSA”, FBI Got Hacked, Cornell Gang Rape Scandal
Today's Headlines: Trump is airing a taxpayer-funded TV ad nearly identical to one of his 2024 campaign ads, ending with "paid for by the US government," which the White House is calling a public service announcement. Ok. The FBI was hacked by a criminal group called ShinyHunters who obtained tens of thousands of current and former employees' social security numbers, secret job assignments, and me
Monday, September 28th, 2026 - NATO Prepping Evacuation, SCOTUS OKs Trump's Shady Voter Rolls, OpenAI's Massive Security Problem
Today's Headlines: So NATO is preparing for war, aka potential Russian aggression, with Poland and Lithuania developing cross-border civilian evacuation plans for the Baltic states and practice exercises scheduled for next week. Meanwhile, five people were arrested near a UK Royal Air Force base used by the US during the Iran war, on suspicion of planning a terrorist attack after someone spotted t
Friday, September 25th, 2026 - China’s Xi Likes Granite, USS Lincoln Suicide Attenpts, Trump Ignores Press Ban Court Order
Today's Headlines: Trump spent day two of Xi Jinping's state visit showing him the White House construction zone and reporting that Xi "likes granite" and is "an expert on stone," while mortgage rates hit 7% for the first time since early 2025 and the state dinner guest list included Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Sam Altman, Jeff Bezos, and Supreme Court Justices Roberts, Kavanaugh, and Coney Barret
Thursday, September 24th, 2026 - UN Day Two, Xi Visits DC, Tuberville's Furry Senate Rant
Today's Headlines: On the second day of the UN General Assembly, Zelensky called on the world to stop buying Russian oil to pressure Putin into ending the war, Venezuela's acting president-puppet Delcy Rodriguez promised elections "soon," and AI executives appealed to the UN Security Council for global cooperation on AI risks. Xi Jinping then visited Washington for a state visit complete with a re
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2026 - Trump’s UN Iran Threat, Susan Collins Corruption Exposed, Russia’s AI Disinfo Campaign
Today's Headlines: Trump addressed the UN General Assembly, told the world he's deciding between making a deal with Iran or "annihilating" them "into hell with no chance of survival," celebrated taking over Venezuela's oil, and yelled at CNN's Kaitlan Collins when she showed up with UN credentials — because apparently he thinks the press ban extends to international diplomatic gatherings. He also
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2026 - NATO on War Alert, We Almost Bombed China, Trump Banned Major News Outlets
Today's Headlines: Europe is preparing for war, or so it seems — the official government accounts of France, Germany, the UK, and Switzerland all posted cryptic warnings about imminent conflict, the UK told citizens to stockpile food and water for the "most dangerous period in decades," Germany is preparing hospitals for Russian attacks, and Poland's PM warned Russia could launch disguised drone s
Friday, September 18th, 2026 - Trump's Bomb Stock Trade, Russian Assassins Indicted in NY, OpenAI's Models Going Rogue Again
Today's Headlines: There’s quite a bit of geopolitical drama going on. Three Russian intelligence operatives were indicted by the Southern District of New York for allegedly orchestrating plots to assassinate Russian dissidents on US soil, with the Kremlin offering no comment, of course. Trump is planning to sell $2.8 billion in bombs to Israel — including 40,000 two-thousand-pound bombs — while h
Thursday, September 17th, 2026 - The EU Wants Canada, Fed Raised Rates, Trump Threatened to Withhold FEMA Over an Election
Today's Headlines: The EU is floating the idea of Canada becoming its first-ever associate member in response to Trump's trade war — which would be a historic geopolitical realignment — and separately proposed banning children under 13 from social media entirely across member states, with 13-15 year olds getting supervised mini accounts with one hour daily limits, Europe is actually doing the thin
Wednesday, September 16th, 2026 - Kash Testified About Bestiality, Kennedy Center Is Closing, Diesel Hit $6 A Gallon
Today's Headlines: Kash Patel testified before Congress for four and a half hours, during which Republican Senator John Kennedy asked why he would "even get into bestiality" — a reference to the FBI's new hiring policy — and Kash responded that "we're not into bestiality" before claiming the policy change was to help trafficking victims, which is not what the policy said, making it one of the more
Tuesday, September 15th, 2026 - Mail Voting Victory, Putin’s friend Paid for Don Jr.'s Wedding, Mitch McConnell Is Alive
Today's Headlines: The Supreme Court blocked Trump's executive order restricting mail-in ballots with less than two months to the midterms — genuinely good news, though just one prong of a multi-pronged operation that also includes the DOJ sending threatening letters to 30 election officials demanding voter data, and a DHS whistleblower accusing the department of illegally directing agents to acce
Monday, September 14th, 2026 - Trump’s Weekend Gaffes, AI CEOs Want Regulation, TX Stops Counting Maternal Deaths
Today's Headlines: Trump skipped the 9/11 memorial ceremony in New York to fall asleep at the Pentagon's 9/11 ceremony. He then flew to Ireland where the Irish president seated him behind a notably small desk, protests featured an inflatable Trump being inflatable-Netanyahu'd in the streets, and he called Irish reunification "fantastic" and "a cool thing," breaking 28 years of official US neutrali
Friday, September 11th, 2026 - 9/11's 25th Anniversary, ABC Kills Talarico Interview, Trump’s Voting Restrictions Blocked Again
Today's Headlines: Today marks 25 years since September 11th — 2,977 people killed that day, and over 5,000 first responders who have since died from toxic exposure at Ground Zero. The 9/11 Memorial added a seventh moment of silence this year specifically to honor those who died in the years following. The Republican convention pregamed the anniversary with "Trumpapalooza" — featuring a "God Made
Thursday, September 10th, 2026 - Fetterman Goes Full MAGA, Trump's Illegal Cash Gifts to Aides, South Park now South America
Today's Headlines: The dumb (with a b) Republican convention kicked off in Dallas with John Fetterman appearing in a video praising Trump and calling Democrats extremists and socialists to no one's surprise. In semi-related news, Ken Paxton lost the endorsement of his own former top law enforcement official — a decorated Texas Ranger who blew the whistle on Paxton to the FBI in 2020 — to Democrati
Wednesday, September 9th, 2026 - Trump Angers Iceland, Smithsonian Chief Resigned, 9/11 Air Quality Docs Released
Today's Headlines: So Donnie’s AI slop posting frenzy over the weekend caused Iceland to summon the US ambassador after he posted a map with the American flag over all of North America, Greenland, and Iceland — Denmark called it "disturbing and completely inappropriate" — and Iceland is now accelerating its EU membership vote, having previously moved it up after Trump confused them with Greenland
Tuesday, September 8th, 2026 - Trump Went Brunette, Canada's Tariffs Hit at Midnight, Hunter Biden $LAPTOP Meme Coin
Today's Headlines: It was a wild Labor Day weekend for Trump who spent the holiday posting AI images of himself as the Hulk, on the moon, with George Washington, and a map renaming New Mexico to "New America" and stepped off Air Force One as a brunette. Meanwhile, Tweedles Dum and Dee, Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff visited Kyiv for peace talks with Zelensky, raved about how respectful Putin has
Friday, September 4th, 2026 - Gloria Steinem Dies at 92, ICE Building National Voter Database, Leon Black Ghosted Congress, AI Outage
Today's Headlines: Today's episode is dedicated to Gloria Steinem, who passed away at 92 years old. In what can only be described as a fitting tribute, ChatGPT, Claude, and Grok all went down simultaneously shortly after, forcing people to use their actual brains for a few hours. On the Immigration beat, ICE is spending $5 million to build a national voter database on behalf of DHS, acquiring vote
Thursday, September 3rd, 2026 - US Accused of War Crimes, Apple Caves on Lake America, Massie Names Epstein Associates
Today's Headlines: Iran accused the US of a war crime after strikes hit a wedding killing four civilians, the US denied targeting civilians, Iran responded by launching missiles at US bases in Jordan, Kuwait, Iraq, and Bahrain — so the ceasefire is going great. The USS Abraham Lincoln's 5,000-person crew finally docked in Thailand after nearly nine months at sea, were told by the military not to s
Wednesday, September 2nd, 2026 - Bond Markets Tank, SCOTUS Clears Ballroom Bunker, USPS Whistleblower Warns of Potential Voter Suppression
Today's Headlines: The US launched strikes in the Strait of Hormuz for the second day in a row without saying what they were targeting, two more oil tankers got attacked, and JD Vance's Yale buddy Dan Driscoll quit as Army Secretary after Hegseth got paranoid about their friendship and blocked Driscoll's plans to modernize the Army for drone warfare — so the guy who wanted to prepare for the futur
Tuesday, September 1st, 2026 - Iran Strikes Back On, Yosemite Is Being Privatized, Pentagon's Secret Influencer Army
Today's Headlines: And we’re back to actual warring again. The US and Iran are shooting at each other again for the first time in a month — US strikes on Iranian rocket launchers, Iran hitting US bases in Jordan and the UAE — and when reporters asked Trump if he'd rule out nukes, he said yes and no in the same breath and called it a stupid question, which is on brand. Trump also personally called
Monday, August 31st, 2026 - Olivia Rodrigo Raised $20M for Women, Lake America on Google Maps, Sony & Warner Sue Anthropic
Today's Headlines: This weekend was a mixed bag of news so let’s start with good news. Olivia Rodrigo raised $10 million at her Daisy Chain Fields festival for women's charities including Planned Parenthood and the Center for Reproductive Rights, then Melinda French Gates walked onstage and doubled it to $20 million. MapQuest made a surprise comeback to number two in the App Store as a result of G
Friday, August 28th, 2026 - Trump Renamed a Lake, Sailor Punished for Jumping Ship, ICE arrested 49,000 people in July
Today's Headlines: Donald Trump signed an executive order renaming Lake Ontario to Lake America — yes, really — musing that maybe he'll rename the Atlantic and Pacific next, while Canadian PM Mark Carney responded that "Ontario" is a 400-year-old Wendat word meaning "the lake is beautiful, the lake is big," which is a more dignified response than the moment deserved. Back to actual issues, Iran ha
Thursday, August 27th, 2026 - Meta’s $17B Settlement, Argentinian Beef Recalled in FL & TX, CIA's Secret Moscow Visit Explained
Today's Headlines: We’re almost to the weekend and we’re starting off with tech and medical science. Meta settled its youth addiction trial for $17 billion paid over ten years across 47 states — with new safety requirements for minors including time limits, night mode, and hidden like counts. Of course the company's stock went up after the settlement, which tells you everything about who won. Bill
Wednesday, August 26th, 2026 - CIA’s Secret Russia Trip, Tulsi Warned Trump About Everything, Measles Deaths
Today's Headlines: Dolly Parton, the legendary country singer, songwriter, actress, and philanthropist, has died at 80. Beyond music, she leaves behind an extraordinary legacy of generosity and her work supporting medical research. Shifting gears, the CIA director made an attempted secret trip to Moscow with the plane sitting on the ground for eight hours and no explanation of who Ratcliffe met wi
Tuesday, August 25th, 2026 - Trump Tried to Kill Live Nation Case, SCOTUS Clears Mail Voting Restrictions, 200K Visas Getting Revoked
Today's Headlines: The Wall Street Journal revealed that Trump personally called a senior DOJ official to settle the antitrust lawsuit against Live Nation — days before trial, after Live Nation's CEO met with Trump at the White House to "discuss Kennedy Center bookings". Live Nation reportedly promised $10 billion in US investment in exchange for a favorable settlement so generous that most states
Jon Ossoff Talks Like A Millennial Raised On AIM Away Messages ft. Alex Pearlman
Sami Sage sits down with comedian and political commentator Alex Pearlman to talk about why the Democratic Party has no leader, why politicians under 45 who grew up online (Ossoff, Mamdani, AOC) actually know how to communicate, and why Alex is touring 12 cities to get people off their phones and back into real conversations. They also cover Kamala's 2028 odds, the DSA's messaging problem, and get
Monday, August 24th, 2026 - IndyCar Freedom 250, Mystery Ground Beef, Canada Trade War, Trump Attacking Law School Accreditation
Today's Headlines: It was quite a weekend! Trump turned DC streets into a 1.7-mile IndyCar speedway for another Freedom 250 event, took a ceremonial lap in the presidential limo with Melania — not Natalie — while his Qatari plane did a flyover. In other shady news, Trump announced he's importing up to 300,000 metric tons of "product for ground beef" without specifying what the product is, where it
Friday, August 21st, 2026 - Melania Appears, USS Lincoln Crew Is Free, North Korea Rejected Trump, FBI Raided Swalwell's House
Today's Headlines: Melania Trump made a surprise White House appearance — her first in weeks or possibly months — to announce a foster care initiative, opening with "I heard you missed me, here I am," which nobody would have thought twice about if it hadn't come directly after Jon Ossoff's comment that Trump wants to "travel with Natalie." The timing really did the heavy lifting there. Walmart pos
Thursday, August 20th, 2026 - mRNA Skin Cancer Vax Works, Elon's Buying the TX Senate, New White House Helipad
Today's Headlines: Trump spent yesterday morning showing off his new White House helipad and giving an unprompted infomercial for Scott's Miracle-Gro that spiked the company's stock — a useful distraction from reporting that his aide Natalie Harp, the Human Printer, worked at the White House for a year without a security clearance because she refused until Trump personally intervened. He also TACO
Wednesday, August 19th, 2026 - The Trumps Got a Crypto Bank, Meta Trial Starts, Hegseth 2028?
Today's Headlines: The Trump family received a conditional bank charter for their crypto firm World Liberty Financial — co-run by Eric Trump and Steve Witkoff's son — allowing them to issue their own stablecoins, which means more money for them and more risk in the financial system. Meanwhile, Disney and ABC are suing the FCC for retaliating against them politically by reviewing their broadcast li
Tuesday, August 18th, 2026 - Trump Threatened to Bomb Oman, Egg Recall Death Warning, SCOTUS Told Trump to Pay Carroll Again
Today's Headlines: Trump threatened to "bomb the shit out of" Oman — a longtime US ally and the country currently facilitating Iran negotiations — because Iran and Oman are having side talks about the Strait of Hormuz that don't include him, and when asked why, he said "I don't think they behave very well," which confused even Fox News. Jared Kushner and Netanyahu spent several hours reaching the
Monday, August 17th, 2026 - Trump Asks SCOTUS to Save His Bunker, Sailors Are Starving at Sea, Blanche Says DOJ Works for Trump
Today's Headlines: Todd Blanche went on Meet the Press and admitted he cannot pledge DOJ independence from the White House, and that the DOJ may ask the Supreme Court to intervene in 22 cases where judges blocked Trump's election interference efforts — specifically the administration's attempt to get voter rolls including names, addresses, and partial social security numbers from 30 states and DC.
Friday, August 14th, 2026 - Sailor Suicide Crisis Update, Trump's Fake Assassination Threat, Kennedy Center Defies Judge
Today's Headlines: The USS Abraham Lincoln is being replaced by the USS George Washington after reporting that sailors who had been at sea for over 250 days without disembarking attempted to take their own lives — Hegseth insists the conditions are being "completely misrepresented," Democrats in Congress are demanding answers, and the Pentagon quietly swapping out the carrier while denying there's
Thursday, August 13th, 2026 - Karoline Leavitt Quits, Navy Sailors Are Jumping Overboard, Josh Kushner & Bob Iger Buy The Lakers
Today's Headlines: Karoline Leavitt is leaving her job as White House Press Secretary at the end of August, officially to spend more time with her family, though the timing — coming weeks after her boss used the press corps as an Iran assassination decoy — raises some questions. On the never-ending reflecting pool drama, Jeanine Pirro convened a rare special grand jury to investigate the reflectin
Wednesday, August 12th, 2026 - Trump Fled in a Catering Truck & Got a Diamond Ring, ICE’S Shock Gloves
Today's Headlines: Trump secretly escaped Air Force One in a catering truck at the NATO summit in Turkey due to an Iranian assassination threat — leaving the press corps and cabinet members including Marco Rubio sitting inside the plane he'd just abandoned as a decoy. The plane he fled was the Qatari hand-me-down that clearly wasn't secure enough for the president. When asked if he'd declare a nat
Tuesday, August 11th, 2026 - Trump's Anti-Vax Executive Order, Zuck's 6500-Word AI Manifesto, July Is Hottest Month on Record
Today's Headlines: Trump signed an executive order overriding the CDC's vaccine schedule authority, requiring the MMR vaccine to be broken into three separate shots at separate visits — while claiming he broke up his own kids' vaccines into five stops because he's "seen proof" that vaccines cause autism, which he described as a soda bottle poured into a child's body. Trump also admitted there was
Monday, August 10th, 2026 - Trump’s Personal Atty Is AG, Meta Paid Neo-Nazi’s To Post, Iran Still Won’t Open The Strait
Today's Headlines: Todd Blanche was confirmed as attorney general 50-49 at 4am on Saturday — with spineless Bill Cassidy, who already lost his Senate seat thanks to Trump, casting the deciding vote anyway — cementing the man responsible for Ghislaine Maxwell's emotional support puppy as the top law enforcement officer in the United States. On an equally depressing note, Ohio congressman Max Miller
Friday, July 31st, 2026 - Iran Hacked Minnesota's Water Supply, Secret Service Stalked Comey, Claude Hacked Three Companies
Today's Headlines: Iran may have hacked over 30 Minnesota water systems, with the FBI investigating amid existing warnings that Iranian hackers have been specifically targeting water and wastewater infrastructure. Speaking of hacking, Anthropic's AI models hacked into three companies during tests, topping OpenAI's model which only hacked one, which is either a quality gap or a concerning arms race
Thursday, July 30th, 2026 - Rand Paul's Fauci Circus, Iran War Back On…Again, Elon’s Coming for the Midterms
Today's Headlines: Congress was quite busy. Rand Paul turned the Senate into a personal vendetta circus, dragging Anthony Fauci in for a hearing where he pleaded the Fifth almost 100 times — because the entire point was to find something to criminally prosecute him for despite Biden's preemptive pardon — and Paul is now threatening to hold Fauci in contempt of Congress for asserting his constituti
Wednesday, July 29th, 2026 - AI Is Destroying Rare Books, ICE Undercover at Airports, Beshear’s Ultimatum
Today's Headlines: Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear issued Mitch McConnell an ultimatum — prove you can serve or resign — pointing out that if Mitch can chat with Scott Jennings for 20 minutes he can call into a Kentucky news station. Lindsey Graham's memorial service at the Capitol brought together an unlikely guest list including Zelensky and Netanyahu, both of whom used the funeral as an opportun
Tuesday, July 28th, 2026 - Mitch's “Proof” Of Life 2.0, ICE's DNA Database, Trump Takes Mail Voting to SCOTUS
Today's Headlines: Mitch McConnell's office released a photo with his wife and a doctor's note confirming he's still in a rehab facility and won't make it to the Fancy Farm Kentucky annual picnic, because THAT’S what everyone was concerned about. To add to the depraved and morally corrupt Republicans news, Ohio congressman Max Miller, whose ex-wife filed roughly 2,000 pages of court documents alle
Monday, July 27th, 2026 - Trump Cancelled Blue State Grants, the Pentagon Fudged Iran Casualty Count, 19 Million Eggs Recalled
Today's Headlines: The White House Correspondents Dinner happened over the weekend — Trump did an hour of his greatest hits, mocked Kaitlin Collins and his own guest Nicki Minaj, and Wolf Blitzer presented the Wall Street Journal with an award for uncovering Trump's Epstein ties while noting the reporter had to move after Trump doxxed her home address in a lawsuit, which is a sentence about the cu
Friday, July 24th, 2026 - Trump Planning Massive Iran Strike, Saudi Nuke Deal Dying, Death of Nolan Wells
Today's Headlines: Trump announced a nuclear deal with Saudi Arabia, then posted a P.S. the next day conditioning the whole thing on Saudi Arabia normalizing relations with Israel — a condition so significant it threw the entire deal into jeopardy before Congress even had a chance to reject it — while simultaneously telling Axios he's "close" to ordering a massive Iran strike "bigger than ever bef
Thursday, July 23rd, 2026 - US Signs Nuke Deal With Saudis, Trump Threatens War Crimes, OpenAI's AI Goes Rogue
Today's Headlines: Trump attended the dignified transfer of four service members killed in Iran, then immediately posted that the US would bomb a bridge or power plant in Tehran every time Iran fires anything at a Strait of Hormuz ship — which legal experts would describe as a war crime — before heading to Georgia for a rally where he called the Iran war a "skirmish," invented a weak nickname for
Wednesday, July 22nd, 2026 - Hegseth Wants $1.5 Trillion More For Iran, Measles & Cyclospora Hit Record Highs, Trump Finances Going To BBC
Today's Headlines: Pete Hegseth went to Congress to ask for $1.5 trillion more for the Iran war — on top of the $37.5 billion already spent — while the Pentagon has been quietly underreporting troop injuries, with the New York Times revealing over 400 Americans have been hurt, nearly 100 just in July, which the Pentagon characterized as "mostly mild concussions" which is indeed, an injury. The 17
Tuesday, July 21st, 2026 - Kash Is Going to Russia, DOJ Targets Journalists’ Family, FBI Won’t Probe ICE
Today's Headlines: Kash Patel scheduled a trip to Russia in October with no disclosed agenda or meeting list, which is a perfectly normal thing for the FBI director to do while leading an agency that investigates Russian interference. In tariff news, Trump dropped new tariffs on Canada — specifically cars, alcohol, cheese, and hockey sticks — on products covered by the USMCA trade deal he negotiat
Monday, July 20th, 2026 - Tate Brothers Arrested, Trump Selling Insider Trading Service, Four US Troops Killed in Iran Strike
Today's Headlines: Andrew and Tristan Tate were arrested in Miami by US Marshals at the UK's request, facing 59 total charges including rape, sex trafficking, assault, and charges related to indecent images of a child — their attorney says they're innocent, they'll fight extradition. On the corruption beat, Trump is now selling hedge funds early access to his Truth Social posts for $100,000 a mont
Friday, July 17th, 2026 - Trump's Big Boy Speech, Blanche Forced To Meet Epstein Survivors, Diarrhea Mystery Solved
Today's Headlines: Trump's Big Boy speech was overhyped, overproduced, and deeply disappointing — with NBC and ABC refusing to air it. In true Donald fashion, he threatened to shut down both networks and the content itself were his greatest hits of repeatedly disproven 2020 election claims delivered at an off-pace that makes more sense now that we know his teleprompter operator was placed on leave
Thursday, July 16th, 2026 - Hegseth's “High T”, Todd Blanche's Freudian Slip, JD Vance Goes Epstein Truther on Rogan
Today's Headlines: Pete Hegseth announced that the military will now annually screen all service members over 30 for testosterone deficiency with voluntary testing for under-30s who are concerned, and testosterone replacement therapy available to anyone who wants it — which is gender-affirming care, offered by the guy who banned gender-affirming care. In Congress hearings, Todd Blanche's attorney
Wednesday, July 15th, 2026 - Elon Musk's WI Bribery, ICE's Deadly Week Forces Pause, Blanche Blocks Epstein’s Zorro Ranch Probe
Today's Headlines: ICE has halted most traffic stop arrests nationwide after killing two people in one week who weren't even their targets — and before that pause could even be properly announced, a third ICE-related death occurred in Florida when a man fleeing an early morning gas station stop was hit by a tractor-trailer, bringing the week's total to three. Elon Musk has been referred for potent
Tuesday, July 14th, 2026 - ICE Kills Yet Again…Again, Trump's Void IRS Settlement & Planned Election Gaslighting Speech
Today's Headlines: Lindsey Graham's sister Darline Graham Nordone was appointed to his Senate seat within days of his death — never held office, framed as a neutral placeholder, and now South Carolina's first female senator, which would be more historic if it weren't handed to her by Trump as a favor. The FBI also showed up at Graham's DC home less than 48 hours after his death with at least 8 age
Monday, July 13th, 2026 - Lindsey Graham Dead at 71, Iran War Escalates, Housing Bill Became Law
Today's Headlines: Senator Lindsey Graham died Saturday night at 71 from a ruptured aorta, just hours after returning from Ukraine where he'd met with Zelensky and signed a new sanctions deal against Russia — the internet immediately blamed the Russians, his office says it was heart disease. South Carolina's governor will appoint a replacement to finish his term, a special Republican primary is se
Friday, July 10th, 2026 - ICE Kills Yet Again, Ken Paxton Voted Illegally, Walmart Is Finally Cutting Prices
Today's Headlines: Mitch McConnell is still missing with zero health updates, Elaine Chao's spokesperson says she left for China two days before he was hospitalized and has since returned. Mitch’s absence is now actively complicating Senate business since he sits on the Appropriations Committee that needs to pass a government funding bill by September 30th — so the republicans need him conscious a
Thursday, July 9th, 2026 - Platner Is Out, Trump’s NATO Chaos, Mitch Watch Still On, Prince Harry Loses Daily Mail Suit
Today's Headlines: Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear had to write his own senator a letter asking if he's alive, after Trump blew up the cover story that multiple Republican senators had "just spoken to McConnell" by telling reporters on Air Force One that he has "no idea" what condition Mitch is in. The clock is ticking to August 4th, when Kentucky's Democratic governor loses the ability to appoint
Wednesday, July 8th, 2026 - Iran War Is Back On, Platner Won't Leave, Trump Is Redecorating Again
Today's Headlines: Graham Platner still hasn't dropped out of the Maine Senate race despite Bernie withdrawing his endorsement and a second sexual assault allegation — this time from an ex-girlfriend who says he removed condoms during sex without her consent, which is classified as sexual assault in several countries — and his campaign's response was to call it politically motivated and bring up B
Tuesday, July 7th, 2026 - USMNT Eliminated, Platner Sexual Assault Allegation, DOJ Leaked Its Own Sealed Report
Today's Headlines: The US lost to Belgium 4-1 in the World Cup Round of 16 despite Trump personally calling FIFA to get Balogun's red card suspension reversed, which worked, and Belgium won anyway — so the meddling was both successful and pointless. On the election beat, Graham Platner, who won Maine's Democratic Senate primary a few weeks ago despite a Nazi tattoo is now facing a heavily corrobor
Monday, July 6th, 2026 - Freedom 250 Was a Scam, Trump Called FIFA, McConnell's Wife Flew to China
Today's Headlines: Trump's July 4th celebrations were a disaster on every front — his Mount Rushmore speech was cancelled by a hailstorm, the National Mall events were evacuated due to severe wind and rain with guests sheltering in the African American History Museum, and his record-breaking fireworks show was obscured by its own smoke, leaving DC with the worst air quality in the world by 7am. Ma
Thursday, July 2nd, 2026 - McConnell’s Secret Heart Attack, DSA Beats Dems in CO, Trump's Qatari Plane Takes Flight
Today's Headlines: Mitch McConnell has apparently been on death's door for three weeks and nobody thought to mention it — Punchbowl News reported yesterday that he was found unconscious after likely suffering a heart attack, with EMS dispatch audio referencing CPR in progress for a cardiac arrest, while his office has been telling us he's "working closely with staff," which is one way to describe
Wednesday, July 1st, 2026 - SCOTUS Saves Birthright Citizenship, Trump’s Crypto Grift Pays Off, Pardons For $2M, Where’s Mitch?
Today's Headlines: The Supreme Court ended its term with three rulings: birthright citizenship was technically upheld 6-3, but the fine print is alarming — the actual split on birthright citizenship itself was 5-4, Kavanaugh wrote a wink-wink concurrence suggesting Congress could legislate it away, and Thomas wrote a 91-page dissent about an explicit constitutional sentence, so Trump immediately a
Tuesday, June 30th, 2026 - Clarence Thomas' Secret Capitol Visit, SCOTUS Expands Presidential Power, Polymarket Fakes Wins
Today's Headlines: Clarence Thomas showed up to Congress yesterday and was all sus about why, though Politico reported Republicans say he was there for the special members-only doctor's office. The Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that mail ballots postmarked by election day can be counted even if they arrive up to five days later — not what Trump wanted, who went off on the justices despite his own voters
Monday, June 29th, 2026 - The America 250 Fair Flopped, Iran War Back On, Americans in Blue Districts Live Longer, Potential Putin Coup Brewing
Today's Headlines: Trump's America 250 Great American State Fair opened on the National Mall in the rain, the power went out, the ferris wheel didn't work, there was no fair food, at least 10 states declined to send delegations, and Trump called it "packed to the brim" — the North Carolina booth displayed a Confederate flag overlay on a video loop before sponsors pulled out, which is on brand for
Friday, June 26th, 2026 - Meta Tried to Silence Careless People, SCOTUS Ends TPS for Haitian and Syrian Refugees, Epstein Files Updates
Today's Headlines: Meta tried to silence former employee Sarah Wynn-Williams from promoting her tell-all Careless People for over a year through an arbitration agreement, she's now suing in federal court, and the book sold 130,000 copies anyway. On the Epstein files, Leon Black is testifying to Congress today about his $170 million payment to Epstein and his alleged use of Epstein as a hush money
Thursday, June 25th, 2026 - Mamdani Picks Sweep NY Primaries, Trump Holds Housing Bill Hostage, Hegseth’s Military Purge
Today's Headlines: In a rare occurrence, we’re starting with good news. The FDA approved a new drug called Trodelvy that reduces aggressive triple-negative breast cancer progression by 40% compared to chemo — affecting 48,000 Americans a year — science is awesome. Zohran Mamdani swept Tuesday's New York primaries, no he wasn’t on the ballot but all three of his DSA-endorsed challengers defeated in
Wednesday, June 24th, 2026 - Tulsi Gabbard Was Run by a Cult, Senate Passes War Powers Resolution, SpaceX Stock Is Already Tanking
Today's Headlines: Anti-ICE protesters in Texas were sentenced to between 50 and 100 years in prison after a judge stacked consecutive sentences for each count — normally they'd run concurrently — in what was explicitly viewed as a test case for how courts will handle dissent against the Trump administration, and separately the DOJ indicted 15 Minnesota protesters for "violently opposing federal l
Tuesday, June 23rd, 2026 - Is Mitch McConnell Still Alive? Trump's Election Law Ultimatum, Keir Starmer Resigns, Tucker Dumps The GOP
Today's Headlines: Mitch McConnell has been hospitalized for over a week with his office offering nothing beyond "he's still working closely with staff." Meanwhile, JD Vance called the Iran talks a "classic Trump deal" while the administration temporarily lifted oil sanctions letting Iran sell oil in US dollars for the first time since 2018 — when Trump blew up the original deal — with Iran saying
Monday, June 22nd, 2026 - Trump Blew Up Iran Talks, Got Dumped by Meloni & Arrested an Olympian, DOJ Won't Kill the Traitor Fund in Writing
Today's Headlines: Oh boy, what a weekend! Trump deployed the National Guard to the reflecting pool, where they arrested a 67-year-old former Olympic cyclist who stopped during a bike ride and touched the water to feel the liner — charging him with destruction of government property. Trump posted that "multiple individuals" were arrested for vandalism and threatened "years in jail." The algae situ
Friday, June 19th, 2026 - Obama Center Opens, ICE Deaths Double Under Trump, Reflecting Pool Paint Is Already Peeling
Today's Headlines: The Obama Presidential Center officially opened on the South Side of Chicago yesterday — a 19-acre campus with a museum, library, gardens, and a sledding hill — on Juneteenth, the same day Trump signed a worse version of Obama's Iran deal at Versailles, which is the kind of historic irony that writes itself. The Knicks held their ticker tape parade in downtown Manhattan to celeb
Thursday, June 18th, 2026 - Iran MoU Signed, GA Primaries, Education Department Gutted, Bradley Cooper Might Play A J6 Cop
Today's Headlines: Trump signed the Iran peace deal remotely in a hastily arranged gaggle — not the formal Swiss ceremony originally planned — after the two-page memorandum was leaked ahead of signing, forcing him to spend his G7 time defending a deal he'd spent two days trying to keep secret. The terms are as follows: immediate ceasefire on all fronts including Lebanon, the US ends its naval blo
Wednesday, June 17th, 2026 - Kash's FBI Slush Fund, Trump's Crypto Bank, Study Shows Tariffs Failed, Reflecting Pool Is Green
Today's Headlines: Kash Patel allegedly authorized a taxpayer-funded slush fund to pay loyal FBI agents roughly $40,000 each — over a million dollars total — which Democratic congressman Jamie Raskin described as either corrupt cash payments to friends or hush money for agents who witnessed his drinking, and separately, Patel blew the cover of a sealed ongoing investigation by tweeting that the FB
Tuesday, June 16th, 2026 - Iran Peace Deal Details, Newsom DOJ Probe, UK Social Media Ban, Anthropic Shuts Down Its New AI Models
Today's Headlines: Trump attended the G7 in France while touting his Iran deal as a global security breakthrough, despite refusing to release the actual terms — which Iranian state media helpfully shared anyway: Iran gets $24 billion in unfrozen funds plus a $300 billion reconstruction fund, the Strait reopens in 30 days under Iranian arrangements, and the US commits to full withdrawal and non-int
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