Awaken into Love Podcast
Awaken into Love Podcast, hosted by Kiyomi LaFleur, offers an empowering perspective on relationship OCD and anxiety. Drawing from her personal experience as a former ROCD sufferer and over a decade as an expert, Kiyomi guides listeners toward awakening from ROCD and finding deeper connection with themselves and their partners. The podcast provides education, inspiration, and motivation, but emphasizes it is not a substitute for professional therapy.
Episodes
What I Wish I Knew About ROCD 10 Years Ago (Solo Episode with Kiyomi)
After 10 years of supporting people with Relationship OCD (ROCD) and relationship anxiety around the world, there are a few things I wish I could go back and tell myself at the beginning of my own journey. In this solo episode, I reflect on the lessons I've learned through my own healing, as well as a decade of walking alongside thousands of individuals navigating ROCD. We explore: ♡ Why you're no
When ROCD Feels Too Real: A Man's ROCD Journey (ft. Cameron)
What happens when relationship doubt feels so real you believe you have to leave? In this episode of Awaken Into Love, Kiyomi sits down with Cameron to explore his lived experience with Relationship OCD (ROCD), from the moment doubt appeared early in his relationship, to the shame, emotional suppression, and fear that followed. Cameron shares what it was like navigating ROCD as a man, including th
How I Almost Lost My Relationship To ROCD/RA (ft. Martina)
Today, Manon (Awaken into Love Director) sits with Martina, a longtime Awaken into Love ROCD/RA community member and HOME member (our ROCD/RA peer-support group) whose journey will resonate with anyone who has ever questioned their relationship, doubted their feelings, or felt shame about their intrusive thoughts. In this deeply vulnerable conversation, Martina shares how ROCD first showed up thre
What if I Outgrow My Partner? I feel stuck, I want to expand! (ROCD/Relationship Anxiety)
In this episode of Awaken into Love, Kiyomi dives into one of the biggest and most confusing parts of life with ROCD: expansion. How do you grow, evolve, and follow your purpose when your mind is constantly pulling you back into fear and doubt? We explore: The paradox of wanting change while fearing it Common fears around outgrowing your partner or making the wrong choice How society's messages a
Am I the Only One STILL Struggling? (Thriving With ROCD/OCD)
We're back for season 2 of the Awaken into Love podcast! In this first episode, Kiyomi and Manon explore what it really means to thrive with OCD and ROCD, beyond perfectionism, societal pressure, and comparison. This is the first part of the conversation. For the complete VIP episode, our Thriving Masterclass, and the LIVE deepening circle on Sept 27, join us inside our new membership: Awaken into
How I Saved Myself and My Relationship (ft. Kim)
In this new episode, we sit down with Kim, a beloved member of the Awaken Into Love community, to talk about her powerful journey through ROCD (Relationship OCD), anxiety, and healing. Kim opens up about discovering ROCD later in life after years of uncertainty, perfectionism, and self-doubt—and how the Awaken Into Love course and peer support community (formerly KIC, now HOME) helped her find cla
I Thought I Was Crazy...Until I Found About ROCD (ft. Sherin)
In this new episode led by Manon, our Director & ROCD/RA Expert at Awaken into Love, Sherin (Awaken into Love Graduate & Member of Our HOME peer-support group) shares her struggles with Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD), detailing the shame and guilt that accompanied her feelings of disconnection from her partner. After two years of suffering in silence, discovering the existence o
17 Years Later: How ROCD/RA Changed My Life (ft. Kiyomi)
In this deeply personal episode, Kiyomi reflects on the journey that began in 2017 with her first vulnerable video about Relationship OCD (ROCD). She shares how that one act of courage has grown into a global movement through Awaken into Love, helping thousands find words for their pain and a path toward healing. Kiyomi revisits her journals, old Facebook photos, and memories from 17 years of liv
What if ROCD Ruins My Partners Life? (Ft. Isla)
🎙 In this powerful and vulnerable episode of the Awaken into Love Podcast, Manon sits down with Isla, a graduate of the ROCD course and former member of HOME, our peer support group (formerly known as KIC). From a small seaside town in Scotland, Isla opens up about her six-year journey with ROCD, retroactive jealousy OCD, neurodivergence (ADHD and exploring autism), and the hidden grief beneath o
"How I Broke Free from Relationship OCD/ Relationship Anxiety" (ft. Monica)
In this heartfelt episode of the Awaken into Love Podcast, host Manon (Awaken into Love Director) sits down with Monica, a cherished member of the Awaken into Love community, to discuss her transformative journey through Relationship OCD (ROCD). Monica shares her story of discovering ROCD after a challenging period in her relationship and how she learned to navigate OCD, anxiety, and depression. T
Navigating Big Life Decisions with Your Partner (ft. Jillian)
How do you navigate big life decisions when you experience Relationship OCD? How do you make "big" steps when you experience thoughts that tell you to run? Maybe you're thinking about comitting deeper, moving into together, getting engaged, getting married, having a baby, getting a pet together or maybe it's another transition that doesn't seem "big" in societies standards. Whatever it is! This is
Change the Way You Relate to ROCD/RA (ft. Kat Williamson)
Could changing the way you relate to Relationship OCD/Relationship Anxiety help heal ROCD? Understand how parts work, art therapy and acceptance commitment therapy can help your own healing journey with ROCD. This is especially important for people who are looking for new ways of healing. Meet Kat Williamson, our Awaken into Love coach. Kat is here to help you move through the storm of relationshi
The REAL Reason You Have Relationship OCD/Relationship Anxiety (the blessings and gifts of ROCD)
Could there also be a deeper, mysterious reason for why you're experiencing Relationship OCD and Relationship Anxiety? Could Relationship OCD/Relationship Anxiety in someway be helping you? What if the reason wasn't because you were bad, wrong or a reason that there was something fundamentally wrong with you... What if Relationship OCD / Relationship Anxiety was there to tell you something DEEPER
Do You Ever Feel Like Giving Up? Listen to this FIRST (ROCD/RA) (ft. Manon)
Do you ever feel like just ENDING your relationship? Maybe the ROCD/RA has been there for a while and you question why you keep going. You tell yourself that "it's taking too long", "its not worth it" and other thoughts that make you feel like you should just break up. In this podcast episode, I interview Manon Lamarque who flew all the way from France to Colorado to sit with me to help you. Manon
How to Heal ROCD/RA Through the Body (ft. Erin Logan)
In this podcast episode, I interview Erin Logan, former awaken into love and as she expressed, proud former KIC member, holistic somatic coach and certified mind body coach who is also certified in somatic attachment therapy. We talk about the power of healing through the body, why you can't "heal" through the mind (through thinking) and why the body is the gateway toward true integration and expa
What to do if ROCD/RA has been present for YEARS (ft. Maya)
If you feel like ROCD/RA has been there for a long time, and it's felt lonely, then this one episode is for you. In this podcast episode, Kiyomi interviews Maya from Germany where she expresses how she's experienced ROCD/RA for 8 years. Her determination to do her inner work and embrace healing has reshaped her path. Discover how she found the strength to over come, and gain insights into thriving
What Does ROCD/RA REALLY Feel Like?
What does having ROCD/RA REALLY feel like and what does a person without ROCD/RA do? In this podcast episode, I talk about the extraordinary difference between both. This episode isn't meant to bring about negative comparison but to help you empower yourself to recognize that these feelings, thoughts, and sensations are NORMAL. It is not the thoughts that matter, but how we REACT to them that mak
What is Retroactive Jealousy? (ROCD/RA/Conscious Love)
Do you get obsessive and compulsive about your partner's romantic history? Do you fixate on if your partner thinks about other people and if they'll cheat? Do you compulsively ask your partner for reassurance about yourself and their romantic history? Do you look through their phone and fixate over people they could be speaking to? Maybe you also feel controlling about who they can speak to and wh
Answering the Questions I've Been Avoiding...
I've waited long enough, and it's time. I feel as though I owe you all an explanation. I have so much to share with you. I'm ready to finally dive in and come clean to you about where I've been this past year and what's happened. In this episode, I tell you what I've been doing, why I haven't been as present on social media, other very personal questions you've been asking me, and more. My intenti
Is ERP the ONLY way for ROCD/RA? What does it mean if ERP doesn't work for you? (ft. Erin)
ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) in the world of OCD is labeled as the "gold standard for OCD", and while it may work for many, it MAY not work for everyone... and that's okay. In this podcast episode, I interview Erin, a member of my Inner Circle (KIC) who brings her wisdom and knowledge through ROCD/RA. We talk about why ERP was more traumatizing for her and why it's important to remind pe
Are You SECRETLY Waiting For The Shoe to Drop in Your Relationship?
"Waiting for the shoe to drop" is something that will resonate with you if you're constantly on alert waiting for the next OCD thought to come, or you feel uneasy in safety, connection, and peace with your partner, feeling as though something could be ALWAYS BE WRONG. Waiting for the shoe to drop almost feels secretive, like something that's hidden because the behavior is usually so deeply ingrain
Why loving-kindness is CRUCIAL for ROCD/RA
Self-compassion and kindness is one of the most crucial and important pieces to finding freedom from Relationship OCD and Relationship Anxiety. In this podcast episode, Kiyomi takes you through a loving-kindness meditation practice to help you kick start your week with self-love and gentleness for your heart.
How Projection is Tainting your Relationship w/ ROCD/RA
Did you know that unconscious projection in a relationship can cause suffering and ROCD/RA? When I learned about the psychology of projection years ago, it blew my mind and I have a feeling it'll BLOW your mind too. In this podcast episode, Kiyomi interviews Dani from Germany all on her healing around Projection. We talked about what projection is and how it may be showing up in your relationship
I'm Trying To Fix My Partner (ON-THE-SPOT MINI COACHING on ROCD/RA)
Do you notice yourself trying to FIX or CHANGE your partner? Do you fall into a codependent dynamic of trying to heal your partner and vice versa? In this podcast episode, Kiyomi takes Manon through a mini, LIVE coaching session. They talk about why people fall into fixing roles, resentment in relationships, the energetics of being in this dynamic, and many a-ha moments as to why what ROCD/RA is t
Why You Need To Work With Trauma To Heal From ROCD/RA
What is trauma and why is trauma connected to ROCD/RA? Are specialists missing a key component piece if they don't address trauma? Why true and deep healing takes place in the body and how to start the process yourself. In this podcast episode, Kiyomi interviews Lara, a ROCD Academy course and AIR graduate with 7 years of wisdom and knowledge in bodywork. Join them in this special podcast episode
Is My Partner "Enough"? (Relationship OCD/Relationship Anxiety)
Is your expectation of your partner realistic? Are they actually "enough" or are you playing into expectations that will keep disappointing you? Learn some of the expectations that are guaranteed to keep you stuck and awaken further with us in this episode. For more, download our FREE ROCD/RA checklist at awakenintolove.com
COMMUNITY: Healing ROCD/Relationship Anxiety
In this unique, three-person podcast episode, Kiyomi, Alexis, and Manon speak about the ONE surprising thing that will help you heal and integrate faster with Relationship OCD & Relationship Anxiety: Community. They talk about why group and community work is so crucial for healing, why we aren't meant to heal alone and why we need others, the science behind community and healing, why we need commu
ROCD/Relationship Anxiety during engagement and proposal (ft. Shauna)
People usually talk about the proposal and engagement period as being... incredible or HAPPY! Some say it should be one of the best times of your life! But, maybe you're feeling something very opposite. Is it really okay to feel feelings and thoughts aside from happiness and ecstasy? What if these feelings you're feeling are wrong and not "normal"? Join Kiyomi as she interviews ROCD Course & AIR g
Why Holistic Health is SO Important for ROCD/Anxiety (ft. Sarah Hook)
Have you ever wondered how your physical health may be connected to your mental health? Have you noticed your mood and ROCD getting worse around your menstrual cycle? It's true! Our physical health is incredibly connected to our mental health and it can immensely affect ROCD, anxiety, and our overall mental health. In this episode, Kiyomi interviews Sarah Hook (@the_healing.place) a holistic exper
Are You Spiritually Bypassing ROCD/Anxiety?
Are you triggered by spirituality? Do you get anxiety about your relationship when you hear phrases like "trust your gut", "intuition", "higher power" or even activities like tarot cards, astrology, or dreams? What if you're unknowingly using spirituality to disempower yourself and your relationship? In this podcast, Kiyomi & Manon (subconscious mind coach, trauma-informed certified with expertise
Is This ROCD or Relationship Anxiety? (ft. Sarah Yudkin)
Labels, labels, labels! Are you experiencing Relationship OCD or Relationship Anxiety? Is there a possibility to experience BOTH? In this podcast episode, Kiyomi interviews the amazing Sarah Yudkin (@youloveandlearn on Instagram and youloveandlearn.com). We decided to come together in today's episode to talk to you about RA and ROCD, the differences, the similarities, empowering yourself, what to
TOP Awakening Reminders for 2022!
May you have an Awakened 2022, loves! In this podcast episode, Kiyomi talks about collective grief and sadness, new years expectations, the trauma response, leads an inner smile meditation to help the nervous system, goes through different aspirations and reminders Kiyomi will be speaking about for the year of 2022. She also ends with some journaling questions to kick of this new year in awakening
How To Handle the Grass is Greener Syndrome w/ ROCD (ft. Alexis)
Do you constantly wonder if there's something "better" out there? Do you notice yourself thinking of a better partner, better career, better location? Do you notice yourself especially dreaming during these challenging times collectively? Well, you're not alone. Join Kiyomi and the co-founder of Awaken into Love, Alexis, as we dive into our own personal challenges and how we've been experiencing t
A Guide to Healing SELF-BLAME for ANYONE (ft. Dehlia)
Do you easily fall into self-blame and shame? Do you feel guilty over things that cause you to become obsessive and make you feel unworthy? If so, you're not alone. In this podcast, Kiyomi interviews Dehlia, who speaks about her journey with shame, self-blame, and ROCD. We talk about how to unpack self-blame, how to recognize when you're in the loop, root causes, internal vs. external focus, relig
Want To Feel More Connected To Your Partner?
Do you have questions and doubts like... "What if I'm not connected to my partner?" "Why do I feel so disconnected from them?" "How long is too long to feel disconnected?" "How do I feel connected to my partner?" Understand the hidden meaning behind "connection" with ROCD/anxiety, our view of what connection is, why you feel the need to always be attached, and how to do exposure work with "connect
ONE Thing We Do Everyday That Can Hurt Your Relationship (And How to Fix it)
In this podcast episode, Kiyomi dives into the ONE thing most of us do every day that can hurt ourselves and our relationship: Overuse of social media. She talks about her own challenging journey with social media, her dark night of the soul, why we get so hooked on social media, and how we can use it in a way to make it work for our relationship and for us.
How to Find the Right ROCD Values (ft. Jamie Lee)
In this podcast episode, Kiyomi interviews ROCD advocate, Jamie Lee (jamielee_rocd). They speak about Jamie's journey being a ROCD advocate, how to work with feelings and sensation that feel challenging, the problem with labeling and boxing our human experience as a compulsion, falling into the trap of judging feelings & sensations, the power of becoming awareness & the observer, moving toward val
Getting EMPOWERED from ROCD/Anxiety & LDR (ft.Piera)
In this podcast episode, Kiyomi interviews Piera from Chile, South America. This is probably one of the most empowering episodes on this podcast, and even though we speak about LDR (Long-Distance Relationships) this episode is going to apply to all of you! She offers you so much of her own wisdom, healing, and how she's using ROCDAnxiety as a way to be her highest version of herself and in partner
Things You NEED To Hear ("Tough Love") About ROCD/Anxiety
In this episode Kiyomi talks to you about things you need to hear but feel resistant to hearing about Relationship OCD/Anxiety. Think of this episode like the "tough love" you need to hear for you to truly find freedom from ROCD and anxiety. It's an episode you didn't realize you needed!
Healing ROCD/Anxiety Through Compassion (Guided Meditation)
In this podcast episode, Kiyomi takes you through a transformational guided meditation through the power of compassion. In the beginning, she speaks about why compassion is so important for ROCD/anxiety and mental health, why she keeps seeing the healing benefits of compassion with her clients and why she believes it's crucial for deeper intimacy in relationships. *Skip to 7:30 for the meditation*
Can Uncertainty Be A Good Thing? (Kiyomi's Personal Awakened Share)
In this podcast episode, Kiyomi talks about how uncertainty, although uncomfortable and sometimes scary, can be a good thing. She speaks about how her current events in her life have been pushing her grow and how to make uncertainty work for you. Instead of seeing it as something scary, uncertainty can push you into your deepest growth, expansion and awakening.
Are You Afraid What Others Think of You & Your Partner with ROCD? (ft. Katie)
Are you worried or fearful of what others think about you and your partner? Do you constantly obsess about what they've said or haven't said about your relationship? Have you had an experience with a therapist who said something triggering? If you said yes to any of these, then this podcast is for you! Let's dive in!
How to make ROCD/Anxiety Work For You (ft. Nicholas)
In this podcast episode, Kiyomi interviewed Nicholas, founder of @thewaveandtheocean on Instagram. In this powerful episode, they speak about what it's like being a male and having Relationship OCD, the stigma attached, and common characteristics that come with being a male with ROCD. They also talked about marriage, commitment, feelings of boredom in security, attraction. They also spoke heavily
The Power of Impermanence (Kiyomi's Personal Awakened Share)
In this podcast episode, Kiyomi reflects on her recent, personal journey with impermanence. She speaks about how her recent experiences have allowed her to be more grateful, aware, and alive even though the experience have been painful. She shares how you can use the awareness of impermanence to have greater peace, fulfillment, and love in your life with yourself and your relationships.
When Spirituality is Triggering: With ROCD/Anxiety (ft. Christianna)
Do you get triggered by spirituality in your relationship? Do you look at astrology, psychics, and angel numbers and believe it tells you to leave your relationship? Do you feel triggered constantly believing that your intuition is telling you to leave and feel disempowered? In today's podcast episode, Kiyomi interviews Christianna, an Awaken into Love graduate on spirituality. They talk about the
The Power of Healing the Inner Child to Heal ROCD/Anxiety
In this podcast episode, Kiyomi interviews an Awaken into Love graduate representing her healing from ROCD/Anxiety from the Middle East. She talks about what inner child work is, how she started, the resistance of inner child work (she felt crazy starting so if that's you, you're not alone!), how inner child work has helped heal her ROCD & OCD, and how you can start the inner child work process b
Are You Resisting Healing with ROCD? (ft. Manon)
Are you experiencing resistance in your healing with Relationship OCD/anxiety or your growth? If so, what does that mean? Maybe you don't know what resistance is and you're thinking they're "true" thoughts. In this podcast, Kiyomi interviews Manon on her journey on how to help you understand thoughts and feelings that were part of the resistance, how resistance is part of healing, what it's showin
Am I healing with ROCD? What Is Healing? (ft. Alexis)
In this podcast episode, Kiyomi and Alexis talk about healing with Relationship OCD. They talk about what they believe healing to be with ROD, what it looks like, misconceptions on healing, normal blockages, and resistances that happen when we're going into the journey of healing, what worked best for Kiyomi during her journey of ROCD, our views on ERP and why we are slightly different and toward
The Joel & Kiyomi Episode (Interviewing My Husband!)
In this podcast episode, I interviewed my husband and we got really vulnerable and personal (and at times, very emotional). We spoke about our journey together with ROCD, what helped him during my journey with ROCD, ways to build deeper intimacy through difficulty, things we wish we did back then, our sex life during ROCD, what ROCD can teach you, and how to make it work for you (yes, it can build
Help and Support For You & Your Partner w/ ROCD (ft. Halley and Bryce)
In this podcast episode, Kiyomi interviews Halley and Bryce, a couple navigating and growing through the challenges that come with Relationship OCD. The three of them discuss the challenges, "mistakes" that they've learned from when working with Relationship OCD, hidden compulsions, how to work through the importance of boundaries and taking care of oneself, and additional empowering tips on havin
Is this "normal" with Sex & Intimacy w/ ROCD? (ft. Lauren)
In this podcast episode, Kiyomi interviews Lauren, a ROCD Course/Community graduate and AIR member on sex and intimacy with Relationship OCD. Kiyomi and Lauren discuss the shame that can come with the topic of sex and intimacy and how this shame fuels Relationship OCD and anxiety. They discuss topics such as media influence on sex, ROCD behaviors such as avoidance during sex, sex, and compulsions,
Leaning into the Grey of Sexuality (SOOCD) ft. Heather
In this podcast episode, Kiyomi interviews Heather, an AIR member and ROCD Course graduate on her experience with sexuality and sexual orientation. Heather speaks about her own experience with sexual orientation OCD/HOCD and how epiphanies and realizations that she's had during her journey entwined with ROCD.
Are These Difficult Feelings Part of ROCD?
In this episode, Kiyomi speaks about difficult feelings you may be experiencing with Relationship OCD. How one technique and perspective can change your relationship to your emotions, how this perspective changed her life and ROCD, the core emotions that fuel other difficult feelings that you didn't realize you were experiencing and how to start integrating the emotions to create deeper intimacy w
People Pleasing in ROCD (What You Need to Know) (ft. Eszter)
In this podcast episode, Kiyomi interviews ROCD Course Community graduate and AIR member, Eszter from Hungary. In this episode, Eszter talks about her surprising journey with people pleasing in Relationship OCD. We learn about how anxiety and ROCD has helped her, what it's taught her, how to know if you have a coping mechanism of people pleasing, ways it shows up in ROCD and your relationship, how
Transforming Anger in ROCD (ft. Palak)
In this podcast episode, Kiyomi interviews Palak, an AIL ROCD Course Ambassador and AIR member. They both speak about the importance of anger, how anger may be showing up in your relationship, in Relationship OCD and how to transform it in a way where it gives you a greater sense of awakening and freedom within yourself and your relationship.
Hopeless to Hopeful in Times of Uncertainty
In this podcast, Kiyomi addresses emotions you may be feeling with the climate of the world. If you're feeling hopeless, anger, sadness, fear or despair due to external situations like politics, then this podcast is for you. In this podcast, Kiyomi talks about 3 truths to hold on to during these times, different tools you can use when things feel uncertain and what to do if you and your partner ha
Heartbreak in Relationship and Why It's Normal (ROCD) ft. Emma
In this episode, Kiyomi interviews an ROCD Course & Community graduate and AIR member, Emma. Emma talks about heartbreak within one relationship, why you may be experiencing heartbreak, why heartbreak is okay and normal, societal pressures and expectations that worsen ROCD, how heartbreaks have helped her and 5 ways you can work with heartbreak.
Start Your Day in Connection
It can feel lonely and isolating having Relationship OCD and relationship anxiety. In this podcast, Kiyomi takes you through a guided practice to help kick start your week feeling more connected and less alone. This podcast episode will make you feel understood, and is geared to inspire hope as you start your day and move into a new week of awakening in connection.
Is ROCD Really About My Partner & My Relationship? (ft. Beau)
In this podcast, Kiyomi interviews Beau, an Awaken into Love graduate. Beau talks about her own healing with Relationship OCD /anxiety and how her healing journey really surprised her. We go over how ROCD really isn't about your partner, why ROCD helped her, what created her ROCD, guilt and shame while doing the inner work, perfectionism and projection, the most surprising thing about healing and
How Cancel Culture is Negatively Affecting Your Relationship
In this episode, Alexis and Kiyomi talk about into how cancellation culture is negatively affecting your relationship and how it's making your Relationship OCD worse. They also talk about how to recognize cancel culture and how you can use this awareness to awaken and deepen your connection in your relationship to your partner, others and yourself.
How Childhood Abuse/Trauma Can Create ROCD (ft. Montana)
In this episode, Montana joins me to talk about how her childhood abuse/trauma created and affected her Relationship OCD. In this very informative and inspirational podcast, we dive into her own success and healing with ROCD work, her own past and how it's shaped who she is today. If you are a survivor of childhood abuse, or have the triggers around "what if my partner is abusive?", "what if my pa
5 Hard Relationship Truths That Will Set You Free
In this podcast, I go over 5 Relationship Truths that will set you free if you experience doubt, anxiety or relationship OCD! At the end, I will give you exercises to help you awaken deeper in your relationship and your life.
How Relationship OCD Helped me Awaken
In this podcast, I talk about how Relationship OCD has helped me awaken. Although ROCD was one of most difficult things I've encountered in my life, it taught me lessons that I would never want to take back. In this podcast, I talk about what I learned, how the suffering has helped me, our clients and members at awaken into love and ultimately, how it can help you and your relationship.
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