Practicing Love: Have the Best Love and Sex of Your Life After 40
Love between humans is not easy, and most of us never had great examples or education about emotions, communication, sex, or what keeps love alive. When you add the challenges of aging to the mix, love becomes even more complicated. Many people end up settling, or giving up on what they want most. But you don't have to! Dating and relationships become easier when you hear people share vulnerably about their struggles, and how they've created more connection and excitement. The host brings 20 years of experience coaching thousands of people to help you see what's possible, and how the practice of love makes it possible to have the best love and sex of your life.
Episodes
#65: What Men and Women Don't Know About Each Other — And What it Means for Love
How would your relationships be different if you could experience the world from the other side of the gender divide, and understand how a man or woman (whichever you are not) feels and experiences life? Would it bring more compassion for the things that irritate you? Today's guest has something very few people can offer: a real life perspective on living as both a woman and a man. Since Jason Hil
#38: AI Matchmaking: AI Reshapes Dating for Lasting Love
Dating feels brutal for so many relationship-ready singles, especially over 40. In this episode, Shana James talks with Adam Cohen Aslatei, CEO of Three Day Rule, about how AI is reshaping modern matchmaking and how AI makes it easier for people to date and find real, emotionally available love. They explore dating burnout, why the apps are failing people, the power of intentional dating, and how
Why Passion Fades in Relationships: How to Ignite and Reignite the Spark
Passion doesn't fade because "that's just what happens." Passion fades because couples are missing a few essential skills. When you learn them, you can create spark and reignite it in long term relationships. In today's video, I break down some deeper reasons passion fades in long-term relationships and marriages, based on 20 years as a dating and relationship coach and the teachings from my book
#36: You Don't Have to Be the Hero: The Shift from Overgiving to Real Love
We explore what happens when being "the one who saves" starts costing you connection with yourself and others. Brent Perkins joins me to unpack how overgiving and self-abandonment can masquerade as love, and what it really takes to move from trying to be the hero to letting yourself be human. You'll learn to give without depletion, create agreements instead of expectations, and practice the art of
#64: When Her Sex Drive Fades: What Most Men Don't Realize
What happens when the woman you love stops wanting sex? For many men, a fading sex drive feels like rejection, loneliness, or even a sign that the relationship is dying. You may wonder: Am I still attractive? Does she still want me? Did I do something wrong? After more than 20 years of coaching men and couples, I've found the answer is usually more nuanced. Women often don't stop wanting sex. The
#63: What 20 Years of Coaching Men Taught Us About Love, Loneliness, and Lasting Relationships
#62: The Hidden Reason Even Good Relationships Drift Apart
Have you ever looked at someone you love and wondered, What happened to us? Most people assume relationships drift apart because the spark fades, communication breaks down, or life simply gets in the way. But what if the real reason is much simpler and more hopeful? In this conversation, bestselling author and executive coach Jamie Smart shares a perspective that has transformed the lives of thous
#61: How to Navigate Baggage While Dating, Without Letting It Ruin Love
Everyone talks about "baggage" in dating. But what does that actually mean? If you're dating in midlife, chances are you—and everyone you meet—have lived through heartbreak, divorce, health challenges, parenting, financial ups and downs, grief, or complicated family dynamics. The goal isn't to find someone without baggage. It's to discover whether your lives, values, and emotional realities are co
#60: Why High Achieving Couples Lose Connection and How to Get it Back
Why do so many ambitious, successful couples end up feeling more like roommates than romantic partners? It's rarely because they stopped loving each other. Most people assume intimacy begins in the bedroom. Andrew and Kiana Joyner believe it begins at the kitchen table... in the everyday moments where partners feel heard, understood, appreciated, and emotionally safe. When those moments disappear,
#59: The Dating Move That Tells You Everything (Before You're in Too Deep)
Many people enter dating determined to avoid conflict. They smile through uncomfortable conversations, overlook comments that don't sit right, or convince themselves they're being "easygoing." Especially for those dating after 40 or dating after divorce, staying agreeable can feel like the safest way to protect themselves from rejection or disappointment. But according to relationship and dating c
#58: The Dead Bedroom Fix: Why Intimacy Dies and How to Bring It Back
What happens when the person you love feels more like a roommate than a romantic partner? A dead bedroom isn't just about sex. For many people, it feels like rejection, loneliness, and the slow loss of emotional connection. It can leave partners wondering: "What's wrong with me?" "Why doesn't my partner want me?" "Can we ever get back what we had?" In this episode of Practicing Love, I sit down w
#57: Stop wondering if they like you: The dating question that changes everything
If you've ever left a date replaying every moment in your head, analyzing every text message, or wondering whether you said the wrong thing, you're not alone. For many people, especially those dating after 40 or dating after divorce, first dates aren't actually about getting to know someone. They're about trying to figure out whether you're being liked. In this solo episode of Practicing Love, dat
#56: How to Create a Conflict-Proof Relationship
What does it take to create a relationship that survives life's challenges and? My guest, Geoff Laughton, has been married for 44 years. He and his wife have been through experiences that would have ended many relationships, but their marriage has continued to deepen and evolve. In this conversation Geoff shares why conflict isn't something to avoid, but one of the greatest opportunities for grow
#55: What Women Wish Men Knew About Sex, Desire, and Connection
Most men were never taught how to navigate a woman's desires. In fact, many were taught to fear them. In this candid and sometimes provocative conversation, intimacy expert Susan Bratton and I explore what becomes possible when women stop hiding what they want and men stop seeing desire as something they have to control, manage, or perform around. Susan has spent decades helping people create wha
#54: Stop Getting Ghosted: The First Date Move You need to know
Dating after 40, especially dating after divorce, is supposed to get easier. You know yourself better. You're done with the games. You're clear on what you want. But somehow, the dates still feel like performances. The apps still feel like a chore. And getting ghosted still stings just as much as it did decades ago. That's exactly where this episode begins. In this solo episode of Practicing Love
#53: The Real Reason Love Feels Harder to Find After 40 (It's Not What You Think)
Most people dating after 40s have a theory about why love hasn't happened yet. The age. The baggage. The kids. The schedule. Relationship and dating coach Shana James says every one of those theories is wrong, not because the challenges aren't real, but because they're symptoms, not the cause. In this episode of Practicing Love, Shana explains that the real obstacle is almost never circumstantial.
#52: The Truth About Betrayal: Why It Happens and How Couples Heal
Betrayal can feel like it shatters everything. Trust, safety, identity can be gone in an instant. But betrayal is also more complex than we've been led to believe. In this episode of Practicing Love, I'm joined by The Therapy Brothers, Brannon and Tyler Patrick, who specialize in helping individuals and couples navigate betrayal, addiction, and the painful path of rebuilding trust. We explore what
#51: How I Found Love Without Games (And How You Can Find Real Love Too)
What if dating could be enjoyable, and you could let go of the stress of performing, proving, and wanting to be chosen... especially when dating in midlife and wanting real love? In this special episode, I'm joined by my partner, Marc Hopkins, for a real and honest conversation about how we actually found love — and what we did differently than in our past relationships. We didn't fall in love by
#50: How to Keep Love Alive: Real Practices for Conscious, Lasting Partnership
What if love could actually get easier over time? And could deepen instead of fade? In this episode, I'm joined by Ben and Kerena Saltzman — partners who don't just talk about conscious relationship, but live it. They share what they do to keep love alive, not by avoiding conflict, but by learning to love each other well. They talk about how it can be intentional, even when things feel messy. We
#49: What to Do When Your Partner Doesn't Meet Your Expectations
Why do so many relationships feel frustrating, confusing, or disappointing, even when there's real love? What if the biggest source of conflict in your relationship isn't your partner, but your expectations of them? In this episode, I talk with psychologist and author of Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex. We explore how quickly we create stories about who our
#48: Where Science and Spirituality Meet in Love and Relationship
In this episode of Practicing Love, I talk with tech modern mystic Renée Blodgett, about where science and spirituality meet in love and relationship. We explore real-life relationship dynamics, like how awareness, vulnerability, and presence directly impact and deepen intimacy, from Renee's spiritual perspectives. We talk about what's beyond traditional conditioning around love and sex, how overd
#47: What Men Miss About What Women Need for Great Sex
Most men want to please the women they love. But many don't understand what actually helps a woman open, relax, and experience truly satisfying sex. In this episode, I talk with Certified Sexologist Kevin Anthony, host of the Love Lab Podcast, about what men often miss about what women need to make sex great for them. For many women, great sex doesn't start in the bedroom. It begins with safety,
#46: Calling in "The One": How to Become and Attract a Soul-Aligned Partner
What if calling in "the one" who is a soul-aligned partner isn't about doing more, but about coming home to who you truly are? In this episode, Shana James sits down with Self-Love & Relationship Coach Risa Gaull, who reminds us of a powerful truth: you are the love you seek. If you've read Calling in "The One" by Kathryn Woodward Thomas and wondered how to truly become and attract a soul-aligned
#45: Money & Intimacy: How to Talk About Finances Without Shame in Relationships
Money can feel even more vulnerable than sex. In this episode of Practicing Love, I sit down with money coach and Gentle Money author Adam Koren to explore why finances carry so much emotional weight — and why so many couples struggle to talk about them without tension, shame, or defensiveness. Most of us were never actually taught how to manage money in a grounded, relational way. And yet we ofte
#44: What Every Man Needs to Know About Women's Menopause for a Relationship to Survive
Menopause isn't just a women's issue. It's creates a relationship struggle for both partners. And for many couples, it's the moment things fall apart. In this episode of Practicing Love, I talk with men's guide Mark J. Platten about why relationships during menopause and midlife feel so challenging, and what men are rarely taught about how to show up. Most men enter relationships with what Mark ca
#43: Desire Differences: What to Do When Sex Feels Blocked or Stuck
What happens when desire fades, sex feels effortful, or intimacy keeps getting interrupted by resentment, pressure, or exhaustion? In this episode of Practicing Love, I'm joined by Elana Auerbach, author of The Sure Thing: A Pleasure Practice to Revive the Spark, for a refreshing and deeply human conversation about desire differences, sensual connection, and what actually helps when intimacy takes
#42: Reclaim Eros: Erotic Intelligence for Deeper Love, Intimacy, and Vitality
Reclaiming eros can impact every area of your life! In this episode of Practicing Love, Shana James is joined by Erotic Wholeness Guide Darshana Avila, whose work has been featured on Netflix's Sex, Love & goop, The Guardian, The New Yorker, and more. Together, they explore an expanded understanding of eroticism — not as performance or sexuality alone, but as the life force energy of Eros that su
#41: How to Have a Deeply Connected Relationship and Ecstatic Intimacy
A Conversation on Real Connection & Ecstatic Intimacy What do we actually long for in love? In this episode, Shana James is joined by Joanna Shakti, founder and facilitator of Ecstatic Intimacy, for a rich conversation about authentic connection, emotional depth, and intimacy that doesn't require shrinking, over-giving, or shape-shifting to be loved. Joanna introduces the concept of ecstatic authe
#40: How Not to Get Divorced: A Divorce Coach's Keys to Stay in Love Longer
On today's Practicing Love podcast, Shana James is joined by divorce coach and NLP practitioner Rachael Sloan for a powerful conversation about how relationships break down — and how they can be repaired before it's too late. Rachael works primarily with men navigating separation and divorce and is the creator of the Better Beyond Divorce program. Together, Shana and Rachael explore emotional regu
#39: Why Communication Breaks Down in Long-Term Relationships — And How to Rebuild Connection
Why does connection and communication break down in long-term relationships, even when love is still there? In this episode of Practicing Love, Shana James and Hannah Chapman explore the hidden dynamics that cause couples to talk past each other, shut down, or feel chronically misunderstood. Drawing from vulnerable relationship experiences and decades of coaching, this conversation illuminat
#37: How to Heal Attachment Wounds and Feel Safe in Love
How do you have a relationship that feels peaceful and loving, rather than feeling like a rollercoaster? In all phases, from dating to long term relationships, this is something clients tell me they want most. Therapist and author Jessica Baum joins me to explore why safety is essential for real love, and what the foundations of a healthy relationship are. We dive deep into attachment theory, nerv
#35: How to Rebuild Trust After Betrayal
Trust can break in small ways, or shatter completely. Craig and Michelle Pera, founders of The Mindful Habit, join us to talk about how they help couples navigate trust challenges — from minor breaches to sex and porn addiction. Drawing on their professional experience, and own healing journey, they give you practical tools to rebuild trust, deepen connection, and restore intimacy in your relation
#34: You're the Prize: Build Self-worth and Confidence in Relationships
If you want to feel more loved and respected in your relationships, this episode is for you. Shana talks with Karen McMahon, founder of Journey Beyond Divorce about how claiming your self-worth and setting healthy boundaries can transform your love life. The more you stand in your truth, protect your heart, and create deeper, more fulfilling connections Find out how to have the best love and sex o
#33: Feel, Heal, and Let That Sh*t Go: Emotional Potty Training for Lasting Love and Better Relationships
Most of us never got the "emotional potty training" we needed as kids. Instead, we learned to hide, suppress, or ignore our feelings, which often wreaks havoc in our adult love lives. In this Practicing Love episode, I talk with therapist Rachel Kaplan, author of Feel, Heal, and Let That Sh*t Go, about why learning to feel our emotions is the missing key to deeper intimacy, resilience, healing, an
#32: Why Shared Values Aren't Enough for a Lasting Relationship
If you think shared values are the key to making a relationship last, think again. Shana James talks with Nick Brancato, author of Prioritize Us: Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test, about why relationships fall apart despite shared values. We discuss the real keys to lasting love and intimacy. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! Music from #Uppbeat (free for Cr
#31: How to Stop Repeating Parent Wounds and Create a Conscious Relationship
If you've ever found yourself replaying childhood wounds in your romantic relationships, this episode explores how parent-child dynamics often show up in love. And how you can break the cycle and create a relationship rooted in wholeness, sovereignty, and joy. We look at the path from codependency to conscious connection — and what it takes to truly heal the mother and father wounds. Find out how
#30: Unlearn Childhood Patterns to Build Real Love
The relational patterns you learn in childhood shape your romantic relationships, often without you knowing it. In this episode, we dive deep into how early experiences influence adult love — and what it takes to unlearn those patterns to build real, lasting connection. Host Shana James and executive coach Jake Fishbein explore emotional resilience, trust, and the courage to embrace vulnerability
#29: Relationship Agreements: The Key to a Stronger Partnership
A big reason many relationships fall apart is because most couples don't make clear, conscious agreements. In this episode, I talk with Krista and Will VanderVeer (hosts of The Art of We podcast) about how relationship agreements can profoundly deepen intimacy, support emotional repair, and help couples navigate the ups and downs of love with more grace and clarity. Find out how to have the best l
#28: Anger in Relationships - How to Stay Connected When You're Upset
We talk about the moments when anger builds within us, moments when a partner pulls away in anger, the downward spiral that can ensue, and how to find your way back to connection — even in the heat of the moment! Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: IHVPCN3F5C1BO2Q0
#27: How to Stay in Love When You Disagree (Even on Big Issues)
How do you stay in love when you disagree? In any relationship, disagreements are inevitable — but where do you draw the line? Can you love someone whose beliefs or values differ from your own? In this deep conversation, Sean Harvey (author of Warrior Compassion) and I explore how to stay connected even across painful divides. We talk about meeting the unmet needs beneath defensiveness, bridging p
#26: Deepening Love Through Perimenopause and Andropause
Perimenopause isn't just challenging for women — it impacts relationships and intimacy in powerful ways. In this vulnerable and eye-opening episode, men's mentor Kenny Mammarella-D'Cruz shares how he navigates fear, emotional triggers, and trauma to create deeper connection, intimacy, and love. We explore men's emotional growth, midlife relationships, and how to stay connected through hormonal cha
#25: What to Do if You've Lost Yourself in a Relationship
What do you do when you've lost yourself (or parts of yourself) in love? In this heartfelt conversation Megan Walrod, author of It's Always Been Me, explores how to reclaim your voice, stop giving away your power, and stay true to yourself in your relationships. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble
#24: Spiritual Intelligence Makes Your Relationship Stronger
On this episode of Practicing Love, we talk about spiritual intelligence, which can make relationships stronger — and hotter. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: CNP489SMTIUXHOMC
#23: A New Era of Sex with Intimacy, Confidence and Men's Sexual Health
Dr. Elliot Justin, a pioneer in men's sexual health, has developed innovative wearable technology to improve erectile function, sexual fitness, and intimacy. Having tracked over 70,000 erections, he's transforming how sexual health supports lasting pleasure and deeper connection as we age. Whether you're a man experiencing fading erections or a partner seeking greater sexual satisfaction and close
#22: What Does it Really Take to Satisfy a Woman?
What does it really take to satisfy a woman these days? In this conversation with Dr. Alanna Kaivalya, we explore the emotional, spiritual, and relational keys to true feminine fulfillment — and how both women and men can create more satisfying, connected love. Listen to this one if you're looking for more depth, and a partnership that actually works in today's world! Find out how to have the best
#21: True Freedom Creates Real Love
True Freedom is what allows us to have real love and supportive, healthy relationships. But freedom can be confusing when it's seen as an external rather than an internal quest. Today's guest talks about the surprising connection between freedom and commitment, and how you can be free in romantic relationships. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! Music from #Uppbeat (free f
#20: Emotional Intelligence in Relationships = More Love
One of the keys to healthy, strong, connected relationships is emotional intelligence. Learning to listen and love from a deeper place doesn't come easy to many of us, but it can be learned! An expert in the field of awareness and relationship skills, Daniel Ellenberg brings powerful wisdom to have stronger and more satisfying relationships. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!
#19: How to Love Someone - Shaun Emerson
Love can feel complicated. When I meet someone who sees the simplicity of love, and really knows how to love someone, I am quick to strike up a conversation to learn more. Whether you want to know what is true love in a relationship, or to bring more love to your entire life, Shaun helps you see how to get there. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! Music from #Uppbeat (free
#18: Healthy Independence in Relationships
Today's Practicing Love and Man Alive podcast guest, Dr. Fred Rabinowitz, talks about how he navigates independence and connection in his relationship. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: CHROXRSGACRHE8NP
#17: Beducated: Sex Education for Adults + Intimacy While Parenting
It's not always easy to keep sex and intimacy alive with all the responsibilities we have, and the fact pace of our world. Today, Mariah Freya, of Beducated, talks about sex education for adults, and how to support sex in long term relationships, as well as what it's like to reignite intimacy after becoming a parent. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!
#16: Communicating as a Couple to Feel More Connected
While there are overlaps, communicating as a couple is different from communicating at work or with family. In a couple, in addition to building trust and respect, you have to help someone feel so safe with you that they will be vulnerable with their emotions and their body! Today's guest shares the most important communication skills for couples to keep their relationship connected, that also wor
#15: The Way to Love a Strong and Independent Woman
Strong and independent women are pretty common these days. If you're a man or woman who loves women, this episode will help you understand how to sidestep intimidation and create an inspiring connection with this type of woman. If you're a strong, independent woman, you'll hear from another woman who has learned to let open up and love in, without having to be weak or small. Find out how to have
#14: How to Stop Being a Nice Guy in Dating and Relationships
It's amazing to be a man who loves and supports women. But beware of going overboard and losing yourself, stepping into the role of the "nice guy." Nice guys tend to get resentful, or become ghosts of themselves, especially when things don't go their way. On today's episode you'll learn how to stop being a nice guy, and instead maintain your heart and care, paired with your sovereignty and strengt
#13: How to Express Needs and Wants in a Relationship
Having needs and wants in a relationship can feel vulnerable. Ideally our partner is the safest person to express them to, but sometimes we worry the most about a partner's reaction, because their opinion of us matters. We don't want to become undesirable or abandoned, so it can feel risky. Today's guest talks about how to create the safety to share your share needs and wants. Find out how to hav
#12: Relationship Success for a Sensitive Person in Love
For a sensitive person in love, relationships can be more challenging. You can experience incredible delight and intimacy, but it's easier to feel hurt or offended by your partner's comments or actions. The highs can be amazing, but the lows can cause unbearable pain. Today, a trained therapist and psychologist talk about their struggles and what makes a relationship successful. Find out how to h
#11: Getting the Love You Want Without Demands or Complaints
How do we get the love we want in relationships? And the attention? Whether your partner is exhausted after work, or your date has a bad cell phone habit, It's easy to complain about what you don't get. Today's podcast gives you a new practice for getting the love you want, and the attention you need, instead of learning how to stop wanting attention. Find out how to have the best love and sex of
#10: How to Be Less Irritated With Your Partner
There's no relationship where you won't get irritated or annoyed, so it's best to figure out how to deal with it. Today's podcast shows you how to deal with irritation in a loving way that brings you closer with someone you're dating, or in a relationship with. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble
#9: How to Keep Passion Alive, Even With Desire Differences
Just because you're attracted to, or fall in love with someone, it doesn't mean your sexual styles or desired frequency of sex will be the same. Today's podcast focuses on how to navigate style and desire discrepancies, to keep intimacy and passion alive. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble Licen
#8: Your Relationship Doesn't Have to Look Like Anyone Else's
Without healthy relationship role models it's hard to know what we should tolerate in a romantic relationship, and what else is possible. And without seeing into others' relationships it can be hard to know if what you're doing is working, and will last. Today we talk about the vulnerability and joy of creating a unique relationship that works for you. Find out how to have the best love and sex of
#7: Stop a Relationship From Drifting, Fading or Falling Apart
Relationships are always at risk of drifting apart if you don't do anything to stop it. Today's guests are a couple who consciously chooses to keep their love alive, rather than sleepwalk through their relationship. They share their challenges and give you tools and perspectives to stop love from fading or falling apart. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! Music from #Uppbea
#6: Stop "Farting" Around and Create Real, Secure Connection
Sometimes we are aware of pain or struggle in a relationship, without realizing we are the one who has a role in creating it. To have a healthy, satisfying relationship, we have to learn how to uplift a partner, rather than cut them down. Steve Horsmon lays out a path for clearing "farts" out of your relationship. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! Music from #Uppbeat (free
#5: Anxious + Avoidant Attachment Style Doesn't Have To = The End
When one partner's attachment style is anxious, and the other's is avoidant, it can be painful for both. But you can learn to consciously communicate and create ways for each person to feel safe and valued. Today's guests talk about how to lovingly collaborate and negotiate, to meet the needs and desires of each partner. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! Music from #Uppbea
#4: How to Make it Through Challenges Together
Love can be a challenge. On this episode of Practicing Love, we delve into why it isn't like fairytales and movies tell us it should be. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: FTDWN40V3UIZ5PJL
#3: What Love is When You Don't Betray Yourself
After divorce or betrayal, many people give up on love. But discovering what love really is, and how to create a loving partnership where you don't lose or betray yourself, is one of the most fulfilling and growthful journeys in life. Ashlynn Allen helps you find the courage to experience what love can be, while you stay true to yourself. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!
#2: A Conscious Man's Foundations For a Conscious Relationship
Practicing love gets easier as you learn tools to communicate and connect consciously. Today's episode is full of wisdom from a man who has worked hard to evolve. Christopher Veal's path from being a Marine Corps officer to the host of the Vulnerable Man podcast has been raw and deep. He is full of wisdom for those who want to create a conscious, loving, fulfilling relationship. Find out how to h
#1: The What, Why, and How of Practicing Love
In this intro episode of Practicing Love, I introduce the concept of love as a practice, rather than a static feeling, or something to achieve once and for all. I emphasize the importance of exploring love with humility and curiosity, of growing (through both dating and in relationships), and the need for vulnerable honesty if we want to keep relationships alive and satisfying for the long-term. I
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