The Office ASMR - A Podcast to Sleep To – Listen to All Episodes Online

The Office S06E23 - Body Language (Sleep Podcast) Oct 31, 2025 00:32:34 You ever notice you can only ooze two things: sexuality and puss? Man, I tell ya.The Introduction references "The Chump" but the narrated episode is actually "Body Language" Connect over on ⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠: ⁠⁠http://twitter.com/asmroffice

The Office S06E22 - Secretary's Day (Sleep Podcast) Oct 24, 2025 00:30:07 You gotta milk them, or else they'll moo like crazy.Connect over on ⁠Twitter⁠: ⁠http://twitter.com/asmroffice

The Office S06E21 - Happy Hour (Sleep Podcast) May 7, 2022 00:27:17 I wear a tend to wear something low cut, get men to flirt with me... And Bob beats them up. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E20 - New Leads (Sleep Podcast) Apr 23, 2022 00:24:13 You couldn't handle my undivided attention. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E19 - St. Patrick's Day (Sleep Podcast) Apr 16, 2022 00:22:53 It is St. Patrick's Day. And here in Scranton, that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E18 - The Delivery Part 2 (Sleep Podcast) Apr 2, 2022 00:25:18 Kevin has an enormous heart. Literally he has an elephant heart, he had a transplant. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E17 - The Delivery Part 1 (Sleep Podcast) Mar 26, 2022 00:21:41 Pregnant Pam and I, we get hungry at the same times so we've been eating together a lot. Not all meals. Just, second breakfast, lunch, second lunch, and first dinner Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E16 - Manager and Salesman (Sleep Podcast) Mar 12, 2022 00:24:53 Manuel who? Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E15 - Sabre (Sleep Podcast) Feb 26, 2022 00:24:03 Have you tried making everything smaller. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E14 - The Banker (Sleep Podcast) Feb 19, 2022 00:24:42 I don't want to tell the truth. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E13 - Secret Santa (Sleep Podcast) Feb 15, 2022 00:24:41 You can't yell out 'I need this I need this' as you pin down an employee on your lap. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E12 - Scott's Tots (Sleep Podcast) Jan 29, 2022 00:23:18 Five minutes ahead of schedule... Right on schedule. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E11 - Stakeholder Meeting (Sleep Podcast) Jan 15, 2022 00:24:02 Well that was apple-picking day. There was no need to yell that day. You know I was just excited to find the car. Perfect end to a perfect day. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E10 - Murder (Sleep Podcast) Jan 1, 2022 00:23:26 Nah. Just poopin'. You know how I be Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E09 - Double Date (Sleep Podcast) Dec 25, 2021 00:25:15 Pam. She's gonna punch the crap out of your face after work. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E08 - Koi Pond (Sleep Podcast) Dec 18, 2021 00:27:35 Oh you're paying too much for worms man. Who's your worm guy? Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E07 - The Lover (Sleep Podcast) Dec 11, 2021 00:22:30 You know, I really would've appreciated a heads up that you were into dating mothers. I would've introduced you to mine. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E06 - Mafia (Sleep Podcast) Nov 28, 2021 00:23:34 If the salad is on top, I send it back. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E05 - Niagara pt. 2 (Sleep Podcast) Oct 30, 2021 00:23:04 The boat was actually plan C. The church was plan B. And plan A was marring her a long, long time ago. Pretty much the day I met her. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E04 - Niagara pt. 1 (Sleep Podcast) Oct 9, 2021 00:30:11 It's amazing: a three ounce fetus, is calling the shots! It's so bad ass. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E03 - The Promotion (Sleep Podcast) Oct 1, 2021 00:23:34 To be fair, Jimothy-- ah that sounds weird. Are you ok with being called Jim? Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E02 - The Meeting (Sleep Podcast) Sep 11, 2021 00:27:27 Please don't talk about my breast milk. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S06E01 - Gossip (Sleep Podcast) Sep 4, 2021 00:27:43 If I can't scuba then what's this all been about?? What am I working toward? Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E28 - Company Picnic (Sleep Podcast) Aug 28, 2021 00:25:37 I heard him asking for a shoe that could increase his speed, and not leave any tracks.I heard him asking for a shoe that could increase his speed, and not leave any tracks. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E27 - Cafe Disco (Sleep Podcast) Aug 14, 2021 00:24:26 You all took a life here today. You did. The life of the party. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E26 - Casual Friday (Sleep Podcast) Jul 31, 2021 00:23:43 Oh it is on like a prawn who yawns at dawn. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E25 - Broke (Sleep Podcast) Jul 24, 2021 00:23:00 Just crunch 'em. Just crunch 'em please. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E24 - Heavy Competition (Sleep Podcast) Jul 17, 2021 00:26:37 Their meatball parm is their worst sandwich! Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E23 - The Michael Scott Paper Company (Sleep Podcast) Jul 10, 2021 00:27:32 P is being a giant B. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E22 - Dream Team (Sleep Podcast) Jul 3, 2021 00:29:53 You get paid by the year at the bowling alley? Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E21 - Two Weeks (Sleep Podcast) Jun 26, 2021 00:22:27 You don't have to kiss his ass anymore. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E20 - New Boss (Sleep Podcast) Jun 19, 2021 00:23:43 What is a two way petting zoo? Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E19 - Golden Ticket (Sleep Podcast) Jun 12, 2021 00:26:12 Ok I'm going to ask you something and I want you to be honest. What is a pallet. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E18 - Blood Drive (Sleep Podcast) Jun 5, 2021 00:26:01 Really Jim. On Cupid's birthday. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E17 - Lecture Circuit Part 2 (Sleep Podcast) May 29, 2021 00:22:40 Why is there a Chiclet on my cake? Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E16 - Lecture Circuit Part 1 (Sleep Podcast) May 22, 2021 00:22:53 I think sometimes people are really mean, to the hot, popular girl. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E14 - Stress Relief (Sleep Podcast) May 15, 2021 00:48:14 Boom Roasted. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E13 - Prince Family Paper (Sleep Podcast) May 8, 2021 00:24:55 A painting, can be beautiful, but I don't want to bang a painting. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E12 - The Duel (Sleep Podcast) May 1, 2021 00:35:25 I've had two men fight over me before. Usually it's over which one gets to hold the camcorder. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E11 - Moroccan Christmas (Sleep Podcast) Apr 24, 2021 00:27:25 It's Christmas. And you're singing about nudity and France. Here's my episode on TV Trivia: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1uS2FW6srG6YdZxdXdLTh5?si=1f014a753f9e4d46 Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E10 - Surplus (Sleep Podcast) Apr 17, 2021 00:26:54 You are the silent killer. Go back to the annex. Here's my episode on TV Trivia: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1uS2FW6srG6YdZxdXdLTh5?si=1f014a753f9e4d46 Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E09 - Frame Toby (Sleep Podcast) Apr 10, 2021 00:35:45 I love catching people in the act. It's why I always whip open doors. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E08 - Business Trip (Sleep Podcast) Apr 3, 2021 00:26:18 No, David. You listen to me. Why did.. you send her away? That... God... you knew I liked her and you just, sent her away. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E07 - Customer Survey (Sleep Podcast) Mar 27, 2021 00:25:15 Describe him exactly. What color mustard is his shirt? Yellow or Dijon? Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E06 - Employee Transfer (Sleep Podcast) Mar 20, 2021 00:26:17 My wish has come true, incidentally. Because, you've met me, and you are happy. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E05 - Crime Aid (Sleep Podcast) Mar 13, 2021 00:26:10 this next item is sure to spring steam from your ears if you don't win it Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E04 - Baby Shower (Sleep Podcast) Mar 6, 2021 00:26:33 Jan had the baby, and Michael wasn't there to mark it. So the baby could be anybody's. Except Michael's Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E03 - Business Ethics (Sleep Podcast) Feb 27, 2021 00:25:39 I watched Cookie Monster sing Chocolate Rain about a thousand times. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

Season 4 Bonus: Goodbye Stranger (Sleep Version) Feb 21, 2021 00:19:07 Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S05E01 - Weight Loss (Sleep Podcast) Feb 20, 2021 00:44:27 Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them. Or he quits them. Because they're unfair. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S04E18 - Goodbye Toby (Sleep Podcast) Feb 13, 2021 00:50:25 What Gives You The Right? Good Night. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S04E17 - Job Fair (Sleep Podcast) Feb 6, 2021 00:27:17 Hiya Pumpkin, it's Creed. So we're gonna ditch this bitch. You in? Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep

The Office S04E16 - Did I Stutter? (Sleep Podcast) Jan 30, 2021 00:29:08 Andy and Angela seem very happy… I hope nothing horrible ever happens to them. Check out my guest appearance on The One With Friends Podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-one-with-friends Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep Good Night.

The Office S04E15 - Night Out (Sleep Podcast) Jan 23, 2021 00:26:27 “If I’m dead, you guys have been dead for weeks.” Check out my guest appearance on The One With Friends Podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-one-with-friends Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep Good Night.

The Office S04E14 - Chair Model (Sleep Podcast) Jan 16, 2021 00:32:20 Hey I'm serious. It's happening. And when it happens, it's going to kick your ass Beesly. So, stay sharp. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep Good Night.

The Office S04E13 - Dinner Party (Sleep Podcast) Jan 9, 2021 00:25:18 The thought of popping one of your beets into my mouth makes me want to vomit. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep Good Night.

The Office S04E12 - The Deposition (Sleep Podcast) Jan 2, 2021 00:22:44 Irie, sorry. 'More tomorrow. XOXO, Michael.' Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep Good Night.

The Office S04E11 - Survivor Man (Sleep Podcast) Dec 26, 2020 00:26:25 You are-- You are as creepy as a real serial killer. For real. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep Good Night.

The Office S04E10 - Branch Wars (Sleep Podcast) Dec 19, 2020 00:23:13 Wanted, middle-aged black man with sass. Big butt, bigger heart... I can't, do this. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep Good Night.

The Office S04E09 - Local Ad (Sleep Podcast) Dec 12, 2020 00:22:16 I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep Good Night.

The Office S04E07 - Money (Sleep Podcast) Dec 5, 2020 00:45:37 Oh I thought you asked me what our chances were of being murdered here tonight. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep Good Night.

The Office S04E05 - Launch Party (Sleep Podcast) Nov 29, 2020 00:42:04 Wait. Alfredo's Pizza Cafe, or Pizza by Alfredo. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Don't miss Scrubs ASMR where I narrate every episode of Scrubs to help you fall asleep Good Night.

The Office S04E03 - Dunder Mifflin Infinity (Sleep Podcast) Oct 31, 2020 00:44:48 For the record, I have never been involved with anyone at work, in any capacity. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S04E01 - Fun Run (Sleep Podcast) Oct 24, 2020 00:57:33 It was on company property, with company property. So, double jeopardy we're fine.  Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E23 - The Job (Sleep Podcast) Oct 17, 2020 00:51:41 I blogged the whole thing. www.creedthoughts.gov.www/creedthoughts. Check it out. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E22 - Beach Games (Sleep Podcast) Oct 10, 2020 00:31:24 Wait... if this job is in a well, I don't want it. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E21 - Women's Appreciation (Sleep Podcast) Oct 3, 2020 00:45:21 If that’s flashing, then lock me up. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E20 - Product Recall (Sleep Podcast) Sep 26, 2020 00:22:47 No, no, I need two men on this-- That's what she said-- No time!-- But she did-- No time! Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E19 - Safety Training (Sleep Podcast) Sep 19, 2020 00:32:17 I Braveheart. I am. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E18 - The Negotiation (Sleep Podcast) Sep 12, 2020 00:32:28 Make one tiny mistake you're dead. I made one tiny mistake. I wore women's clothes. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E17 - Cocktails (Sleep Podcast) Sep 5, 2020 00:24:14 Early worm gets the.. worm. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E16 - Business School (Sleep Podcast) Aug 29, 2020 00:23:30 Poop is raining from the ceiling. Poop! Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E15 - Phyllis' Wedding (Sleep Podcast) Aug 22, 2020 00:24:11 Why are all these people here? There's too many people on this earth -- we need a new plague. Who are all these people!? Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E14 - Ben Franklin (Sleep Podcast) Aug 15, 2020 00:37:37 Secrets, secrets, are no fun. Secrets, secrets, hurt someone. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E13 - The Return (Sleep Podcast) Aug 8, 2020 00:32:08 YOU'RE IN THE CEILING! Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E12 - Traveling Salesman (Sleep Podcast) Aug 1, 2020 00:22:21 I'm not falling in a chocolate river. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E11 - Back from Vacation (Sleep Podcast) Jul 25, 2020 00:24:10 A sensitive email has been released to the office. It contains a file. A picture. Filename is Jamaica Jan Sun Princess. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E10 - A Benihana Christmas (Sleep Podcast) Jul 18, 2020 00:44:26 Ok. Cindy. Yo! Cindy, Cindy! Hold its neck back, insert the knife beneath the jaw, bring it all the way around. There's gonna be a good amount of blood. But don't let that bother you. Have a bucket there. For the blood, and the innards and the feathers. I can't believe I forgot to make a reference to The Wolf of Wall Street. I've failed you.  Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmro

The Office S03E09 - The Convict (Sleep Podcast) Jul 11, 2020 00:23:40 These people don't realize how lucky they are. This office is the American dream. And they would rather be in the hole. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office S03E08 - The Merger (Sleep Podcast) Jul 4, 2020 00:37:04 You have a lot to learn about this town, sweetie. Connect over on Twitter: http://twitter.com/asmroffice Good Night.

The Office ASMR - A Podcast to Sleep To

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