Per My Last Email
Was that email rude? Does my boss hate me? Is this place toxic…or is it me? Work raises a lot of questions—and too many of them get stuck in our heads, rattling around until we feel overwhelmed and unqualified. No more. Join leadership coaches Jen Dionisio and Sara Wachter-Boettcher as they tackle the topics that come up over and over again with their clients: confusing performance reviews, dysfunctional project teams, and bosses with way too few boundaries. You’ll hear stories from real people struggling with the same stuff you are—like how to say “no” to a new project, or why it’s so hard to speak up in meetings. Because it’s not all in your head: work gets weird. We’ll help you get through it—no passive-aggressive emails required.
Episodes
How do I give myself permission to rest?
It’s our final episode of this season of Per My Last Email, and we’re tackling a topic a lot of people struggle with: rest. Today’s letter-writer was recently laid off, and they know they need to to take a break. They can afford to take a break. Their partner supports them taking a break. And yet… they’re still struggling to let themselves actually do it. Listen in as Jen and Sara help this writer
My team expects me to solve all their problems—help!
Today’s letter-writer has become a human “answer machine”: She’s her team’s first (and only) stop to get questions answered and problems solved. But these constant interruptions are leaving her with no time to do her own work, and making her question her skills as a manager. Listen in as Jen and Sara help this manager see that sometimes, stepping back is actually the best support you can give your
Should I give up on success?
Today’s letter-writer is filling about five different roles at his company—and feels like he’s failing at all of them. Add in gaslighting executives and the finite number of hours in a workday, and he’s about ready to shut down entirely. Should he just take off all these extra hats and quiet-quit? Should he just care less about work? Listen in as Jen and Sara help him decide which balls to drop an
Can I get a do-over?
Today’s letter writers thought they had their work lives sorted. But… turns out, maybe not. Should they start a new job search? And if they do, what questions should they ask themselves—and their prospective employers? Listen in as Jen and Sara help these folks pause their panic and get choosy—instead of waiting around to be chosen. Links:Check out the First Round Review’s The 40 Best Questions t
My team won’t stop trauma dumping—help!
It’s Groundhog Day for today’s letter-writer—every time she meets with her direct report for a one-on-one, they spend the entire meeting trauma dumping. It’s gotten to the point where this manager is feeling herself zoning out during their time together, and she’s worried she’s become a bad manager. Is it her job to be the team’s emotional sponge, regardless of all the other responsibilities she’s
Should I feel guilty for leaving?
Today’s letterwriter feels like she’s living a double life. As the only content strategist at an enterprise-level org, she’s burning herself out leading too many initiatives and trying to convince too many people to care about her work… only to go home and spend her evenings applying for jobs elsewhere. Should she feel guilty for being such an outspoken voice for change—while secretly thinking abo
How do I weather this storm?
Today’s letter writers are facing different challenges, but both are looking for the same thing: a way to anchor themselves when things are feeling stormy. One has reached a huge moment in their career—but stress in their personal life is threatening to derail them. The other has been looking for work so long they’re starting to forget who they are and what they care about. Listen in as Jen and Sa
Who’s the boss?
Today’s episode is all about ineffective leadership, and these letterwriters have a lot to say. One is fed up with their VP’s pattern of not advocating for their team…a pattern which seems to have cost their team tens of thousands of dollars in bonuses. The second writer is stuck in a culture of backbiting, fingerpointing, and a leadership team that even takes credit for other people’s work. Join
Can I say no to this promotion?
This week, we hear from letter-writers who are up for promotions at their workplaces—but are having some mixed feelings about accepting them. One is less than thrilled at the increased scope of operation tasks, but is scared to reject a sure thing and look for other opportunities. Another has been promoted four times in the last eight years and wants a chance to settle in and grow their team. Joi
Where are they now?
It’s a Very Special Episode of Per My Last Email! This week, Sara and Jen share updates from four previous letter writers. One was upset by their company’s unfair hiring practices. Another felt they had outgrown their current role, but was scared of moving on. Yet another was contemplating burning it all down and opening a juice bar far, far away. And our last writer was processing being ghosted a
How do I hit the reset button?
This week, we hear from letter-writers who are feeling trapped by their workplace relationships. One has a colleague who constantly escalates problems to management without talking to them first. Another quit their job a month ago, but is still being asked for free labor from their old workplace. Join Jen and Sara as they help these letter-writers prepare to have some difficult conversations, rese
How do I navigate being an “only?”
Today, Jen and special guest host Roberta Dombrowski tackle letters from “onlys”: folks who are the only woman, person of color, adoptee, etc. in their workplace. One writer is the only Black leader in their org navigating a disgruntled coworker who wants to take their job (and hands-off management to boot). Another is feeling frozen out by their former boss after a particularly personal-feeling l
Is my reputation trashed forever?
Today’s letter-writers are in their “Reputation” eras…and they’re struggling to move forward with management that has preconceived notions about their performance. One writer is receiving biased feedback from a manager, and oh yeah, they might also be missing out on secret company equity. Another is dealing with the aftermath of being passed up for the role they’ve been acting in for two years. Li
Where did I go wrong?
Listen up, managers: this one’s for you. Today we’re hearing from letter-writers who’ve been struggling with giving feedback to their direct reports. One dilemma involves a team member whose work isn’t up to snuff—and their manager is putting in way too much overtime trying to fix it. Another deals with a team member who went over their manager’s head…and now the manager’s reputation is at stake.
Is this worth it?
This week’s letter writers are looking to change their relationships to work. One is wondering if it’s time to leave UX all together and monetize a hobby instead. The other is a budding thought leader…who gets the ick whenever they say “thought leader.” Sara and Jen have brought out all their best questions and resources to help these folks get unstuck and plan their next career move—without ignor
Why does my manager keep doing that?
Our letter writers today are really going through it—public undermining, misogyny, gaslighting, intense micromanagement. So how can you speak up or push back when your manager is making you miserable? And what if it feels pointless to even try? Sara and Jen jump in with tools for holding difficult, but healthy, conversations with your manager—and also how to avoid letting bad managers suck up all
What’s my role here?
Today’s episode is all about job titles—and all the weird feelings that come with them. Our first letter writer enjoys their work and is paid well, but feels like they’ve been leveled lower than their peers. Another is considering a “demotion” to manage burnout, but is worried about taking a long-term hit in their career. They’re turning to Sara and Jen to help them get unstuck—without racing back
How can I make this place do better?
Today’s letter writers are working to make change in their organizations…but they’re running into all kinds of roadblocks. One wants their discipline to get more respect, but feels ignored and outnumbered. The other is pushing their company to hire more inclusively than “people we already know”—and hitting a brick wall. They’re both frustrated and exhausted. Listen in as Sara and Jen help them dec
Where do I go from here?
Career transitions are always hard, but today’s letter writers are having an especially tough time deciding what their next move should be. One’s finding that their field of choice isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Another’s struggling to know how to position a harmful past experience in a way that doesn’t count them out of future opportunities. Both are feeling really stuck—and looking for help fr
Who left the gaslight on?
“Prioritize better,” “lead more,” “be more assertive.” In today’s episode, Sara and Jen take on questions from listeners who are deep in the midst of corporate gaslighting and help them understand their feelings, assess their options, and find a way forward—without just working harder.Links:Read Sara’s article: Hey Designers, They’re Gaslighting YouCheck out “Gaslighter” by The ChicksIs Therapy-Sp
Can you keep a secret?
“Transparency” sounds like a good thing…but is it always? When should you share personal info with your boss? What if you know a layoff is coming? This week, Jen and Sara look at tough situations about disclosing information—and help two listeners with very different scenarios decide whether spilling the tea is the right thing to do, or if it’ll cause more harm than good. Links:Explore the depths
What do I do with all this despair?
What do you do when your burnout doesn’t just feel like exhaustion, but more like disillusionment—and maybe even cynicism? In today’s episode, Sara and Jen tackle questions from listeners who are struggling to keep afloat amid job search burnout, career malaise, and the kinds of communication breakdowns that leave us questioning, well, everything. Links:Layoffs.fyi is tracking aggregate numbers of
You’re getting paid how much?!
Managers being paid less than their ICs, punitive raise structures, cryptic pay bands…this week’s submitters are really going through it. But how do you start the compensation conversation when information is hard to come by? And what do you do when you’re told that there’s no way you’ll get a raise—just accept being paid less than your peers forever? This week, Sara and Jen tackle questions of pa
Who am I without this job?
For many of us, our work identity and sense of self have become tied in a big knot. When your job has become your identity, it's easy to get stuck. How do you know when it’s time to stay and fight for change, or move onto something new? This week, Sara and Jen work through dilemmas from folks looking for a way forward—without losing themselves in the process.Links:If Books Could Kill: Men Are From
When mission-driven gets messy
It shouldn’t be this hard to find a job that pays you well, fulfills you, and keeps your values intact. But when disillusionment and burnout strike, it can be hard to deal with workplace tradeoffs. Is the answer simply to strike out on your own?Navigating uncertainty, building your identity outside of work, and juggling passion projects: this week, Sara and Jen tackle dilemmas from folks looking f
Why you gotta be so rude?
Ever dealt with someone demanding that you find them a new job? Or have a friend and colleague go cold and ghost you the moment you get laid off? What about getting berated and then iced out by the head of your org? Other people’s unkind, over-the-top, and just plain rude behavior can make you question everything—even yourself. So how do you find a path forward? That’s what Sara and Jen tackle in
Can I uphold my values and still get a job?
Dehumanizing hiring processes, swoop-and-poop bosses, and maybe the biggest question of all: does my design work even matter if I don’t care about propping up capitalism? This week, Sara and Jen answer dilemmas about pushing back against exploitative requests, working around a faux-inclusive boss, and managing disillusionment with design. And through it all, a theme emerges: How do you handle the
My manager is MIA—help!
Canceled 1:1s, unrecognized accomplishments, meetings that drag on for eternity…oh my. When you have a conflict with your manager, it can feel incredibly risky to speak up. But having the courage to broach a difficult topic can be the first step toward real change. In this episode, Sara and Jen talk self-advocacy: how to identify your needs, outline desired outcomes—and actually START the conversa
I have a job. These layoffs still feel rough.
Layoffs are on a lot of people’s brains right now—but the challenges and complicated feelings aren’t limited to those who were laid off. In a bit of a companion to last week’s episode, Sara and Jen help listeners work through how to move on after others have lost their jobs, how to find your footing if your role has changed in a post-layoff reorg, and how to be present and supportive to loved ones
I got laid off. Should I panic?
From the surprise notice, to the advance tipoff, to the not-even-one-year-in-your-role dissolution, layoffs take many forms. But hardly any of us give ourselves the space to grieve the loss before we throw ourselves back into the job search. This week, Sara and Jen discuss how to be kind to yourself after a layoff, build a sustainable action plan even in a tough job market, and avoid sinking into
How do I handle this person’s bad behavior?
Boundary-trampling coworkers. Absentee HR reps. And a whole lot of weird boss behaviors. This week, Sara and Jen help listeners make sense of toxic, abusive, and otherwise harmful situations—so they can process their feelings, get the support they need, and take meaningful action. Links:“Grey rocking” – how to bore a toxic narcissist out of your lifeGot a work situation eating away at you? Send it
How can I get my boss to have my back?
What do you do when your needs aren’t being met or your boundaries are getting trampled? On today’s episode, Jen and Sara walk listeners through ways to advocate for yourself at work—without justifying your existence, begging for your boundaries to be respected, or feeling like a failure if it doesn’t work. You’ll come away with a few scripts you can try in your own workplace—and our very sincere
My review sucked—now what?
You deserve an equitable, actionable, and thoughtful performance review. So how do you move forward when you get…something else entirely? That’s what we’re tackling in our very first episode. Listen in as Jen and Sara coach people through big dilemmas—and even bigger feelings—about the wild and weird world of performance reviews. You’ll leave with new tools to help you rebound after unfair or unex
Introducing: Per My Last Email
Introducing Per My Last Email—coming April 13How can I get my boss to advocate for me and have my back? Should I disclose my disability? Why can’t I juggle all of this work? Work raises a lot of questions—and too many of them get stuck in our heads, rattling around until we feel overwhelmed and unqualified. No more. Join hosts Sara Wachter-Boettcher and Jen Dionisio for this brand-new podcast desi
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