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Free Legal Advice

Free Legal Advice

Free Legal Advice 446 Episodes Jul 27, 2026

Free Legal Advice Podcast offers humorous and satirical takes on legal issues, targeting victims of work-related ennui, melancholy, or mesothelioma. The show provides fictional legal advice in an entertaining format.

Episodes

Episode 441 - Choosing the Right Page Every Time Since 1979
Episode 441 - Choosing the Right Page Every Time Since 1979 Jul 27, 2026 00:44:15 You stumble upon a rogue podcast. It greets you warmly. To respond in kind, go to Episode 260. To ask it to repeat itself, go to Episode 383. To sit down, douse yourself in gasoline, and light a match, go to Episode 8.
Episode 440 - Your Lifestyle Will Consist of Buying Our Things
Episode 440 - Your Lifestyle Will Consist of Buying Our Things Jul 20, 2026 00:33:39 Your lifestyle, nay, your entire personality, will consist of nothing but purchasing items with our logo on them. That will be the sum total of who you are as a human being. Your life will be measured by dollars spent on us. That is, if we did this thing right. Otherwise, it'll be business as usual. Your life will be measured by dollars spent on something else.
Episode 439 - The Holy Brotherhood of the Cold Open
Episode 439 - The Holy Brotherhood of the Cold Open Jul 13, 2026 00:35:45 Matt's got another cold-open-em-up for all you Hoggies out there in Listenerland. And for you non-Hoggies, we've got a special treat this week: The same episode the Hoggies get! That's right, instead of your usual 35-minute-long backwards recording of Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass played over the sounds of old men weeping, this week you're actually getting the real episode! It's for one we
Episode 438 - Auditory Array
Episode 438 - Auditory Array Jul 6, 2026 00:43:08 This had better be the last time Ben does an entire episode of cold opens. Not because these are bad, or anything like that. It's just that I'm running out of alliterative titles for them. I've already used "Podcast Potpourri" and "Audio Assortment." I'm running on fumes, here.
Episode 437 - Developing New Ways to Be Rude in Movie Theaters
Episode 437 - Developing New Ways to Be Rude in Movie Theaters Jun 29, 2026 00:37:08 This week, we're presented with a problem, and, just like all other weeks, that problem is easily solved by applying a solution from the world of professional wrestling. WAIT, DON'T GO YET! This episode is NOT about pro wrestling, seriously. It's about movies, more than anything. Everyone likes movies, right? PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T GO! Crap, I shouldn't have even mentioned the wr
Episode 436 - Hands Off Our Swans
Episode 436 - Hands Off Our Swans Jun 22, 2026 00:38:06 Traditions in America only go back a couple of centuries, and they're weird enough as it is. In Britain, the traditions go back a thousand years, and boy, do they get weird. Weird enough that they involve royalty calling dibs on particular swans.
Episode 435 - This Guy Got the Fission AND Fusion Merit Badges
Episode 435 - This Guy Got the Fission AND Fusion Merit Badges Jun 15, 2026 00:31:53 Look for these warning signs in your children: Do they know way too much about nuclear stuff? Do they care way too much about nuclear stuff? Is their room full of way too much nuclear stuff? Do they have a colorful glow around them? It can be any color, they're all equally bad. If you answered yes to any of these questions, your child may be nearing the completion of a dangerous and deadly h
Episode 434 - Infiltrate This Podcast by Listening to It
Episode 434 - Infiltrate This Podcast by Listening to It Jun 8, 2026 00:52:21 You can be the person on the inside if you just listen to the podcast. We'll never know that you did it! It'll be your little secret. You'll know all of our private thoughts and feelings. This is infiltration! You're already doing it! Officers, arrest them.
Episode 433 - Era-Defining Hypotheticals
Episode 433 - Era-Defining Hypotheticals Jun 1, 2026 00:39:49 These hypotheticals, well, they... they define an era, like the title said. What more do you need? They're already offering era definition! That should be enough. Anyway, this week we discover who would win between various factions, and it's fun.
Episode 432 - Pay Me for the Door Repair Charge
Episode 432 - Pay Me for the Door Repair Charge May 24, 2026 00:57:06 People who fix things for a living are just like you and me: They're bad at their jobs, but get paid anyway. When you think about it like that, it makes perfect sense that we have so many stories of them screwing up our houses.
Episode 431 - Dulce et Decorum Emu
Episode 431 - Dulce et Decorum Emu May 18, 2026 00:27:56 It's war. The oldest conflict that earth has seen: Man vs. bird. And this time, like every time, the same side wins. But maybe we'll get those bastards next time...
Episode 430 - Why Does Every Movie Ending Suck?
Episode 430 - Why Does Every Movie Ending Suck? May 11, 2026 00:40:06 It's true, though: The ending of every movie sucks. Go ahead, name a movie. Seriously, name any movie. Think of any movie at all. Its ending sucks. Try thinking of another movie. That ending sucks, too. See? They all suck! Luckily, we're here to fix that.

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